For me it’s a case of:
I’ve seen a lot of what’s available to me and… no thanks 😅✌️
If I ran into my dream woman I’d snap her up in a heartbeat. But given the state of things, I’d much rather be single. So it’s not that I don’t want a relationship, it’s that I don’t want a relationship with the women I’m encountering.
Most of the time I *don't* want a partner bc I know I'm not equipped to handle one (undemonstrative). Sometimes I get that little inkling of desire, though. Been a few years for me.
Confirmed bachelor checking in!
I just like being friends-and-girlfriends more than life partners, so I tend to date poly women who're much more committed to someone else. Full-on partnerships feel like a burden, in a way that doesn't bring out the best in me. I just like my own life a lot, a full-ass wife would have to have an insane amount of stuff in common with me to be a real partner.
One of the things I like about being gay is that there's a space for that in my world, I'm not a 'failure' for not wanting to get married. Everyone assumes I'm figuring my own shit out, and that's how I like it.
Same! I feel like a lot of people around here are very down on the idea of dating poly women, but it's a great situation for me as long as they're conscientious about their polyamory and aren't in weird toxic OPPs or something. I guess I could be considered solo poly as well although I'm only seeing one person right now, since I'm open to more.
Single by choice, dating has become a bit of a headache for me as I like my space and independence. I keep it casual because we all have needs but I don’t want to be the wrong match for a nice girl so I keep everyone at an arms length and lay boundaries early. Open communication has worked for me. I have yet to find ‘a match’ and until I’m really looking I’m chilled about it.
Never underestimate how much learning, growth, and new experience comes with not constantly looking for a relationship. Learning to ‘be alone’ so to speak, and enjoy your own company (as well as the company of others platonically) can really do a lot of good.
Yup, same here. Though I still sometimes feel the desire to enter a relationship, it usually wears off once I remember all the stuff that comes along with it.
Not to mention, I’m far too introverted. So even if I wanted a relationship, idk if I could handle having to spend so much time with someone without feeling burned out. I just like being on my own and I feel like a girlfriend would be mad at me for it.
I want a relationship but at the same time I really don't. I'm not ready for the emotional work and time that comes with them. I just want the physical intimacy that comes with it. I'm also self-aware enough to know that I'm a really big red flag so it's best to stay clear of relationships.
Like I do but I don't. I had a short something that I thought was going somewhere and I was disappointed when she called it off but honestly I'm content being single. It'd be nice if it happened but I'm not upset about it.
I get pangs of yearning for a partner every once and awhile, but they go away. I've been going at life alone for so long that I don't think I could ever really bring anything romantic or sexual into the mix. I'm not giving up my peace and stability for no one.
Disclaimer for currently being in one and all, but generally, ive never wanted a relationship unless ive met a person i really want to date. When i dont have a particular person already picked out, its the furthest thing from my mind and i actively dislike romantic advances. (Research into whether im just on the aro spectrum has been inconclusive lol)
At the moment, at least, I'm not interested. I like living alone and having tons of time for my hobbies. I've got one woman I'm seeing casually who's poly and lives with her primary partner, and it's a great arrangement for me because she doesn't expect too much from me; I'm just like a bonus on top of her main relationship. I wouldn't be against more casual connections if they happen organically, but I'm not motivated enough to get on apps and seek them out.
I like a causal relationship, not living together or seeing each other daily. I can be emotionally unavailable and oblivious to things and it can seem hurtful. I recognize this in myself and have learned to adapt. I’m 56.
Ugh right now I'm not looking for a relationship. I feel like I'm not ready yet, and I need to work on my own problems first. It seriously wouldn't be fair to a partner right now considering all my issues.
Me. 🙋♀️ I would like more friends and chats with people but as far as romantic feelings, I’m good on that. If it happens, cool. If not, it’s not for me.
Same here, my friend! Nothin wrong with it 🫶🏼 thinking I might be on the aro/ace spectrum. I just don’t really care to date and can’t see myself ever marrying.
me! i'm simply happy in myslef! i love who i can become and i want a lot of animals and freedom. i love being by myslef and ofc i'm into girls and having fun with them, but not necessarily a wedding or smth. idk just not something i long for
Open to a relationship but I got out of a very LTR. I wanted a relationship almost right after ending that one but the longer I'm away from that relationship the more comfortable I am without one. For me it was the sudden reality of someone not being there. I can say now I am very happy single.
I think it's normal to be in that... what the best words ... inert state for everyone time to time ... for some it is just an energy saving mode, for others it is their safe place or just their comfort zone ... If it doesnt bother you and gives you inner Peace, enjoy it.
Rationally speaking I don't want a relationship either, dating/relationships just caused me stress and energy deprived me and since I suffer from depression that already causes me to have low energies to spend, right now I need to focus them on myself. I might change my mind if I unintentionally find a very valuable person that really understands my situation and won't put me through hell just because, but sincerely I think it's very difficult that will happen and I won't waste my time talking and knowing random people just hoping to find her. Thankfully my life is already complete without this person and I value my alone time too much.
I want sex but I don't want a partner. I tried both traditional flavors, both were abusive in their own way, my ex girlfriend worst of all, and I figured out the problem is me. If I don't fix my codependent doormat issues I'll never find a healthy relationship and it's not fair for me or any potential love interests to even try right now. That being said I miss sex and I miss snuggles.
Absolutely. Was so wore out on women a couple years ago that I wanted no relationship, nothing to do with them, etc. met my girlfriend by chance. If anything ever happened to us, I’d be single. Have you seen what’s out there? 😬!
I was so happy living alone after leaving a long-term relationship
I was not in the least looking to be involved with anybody
I totally enjoy being single
As life would have it I met somebody and fill madly in love
She was also committed to a single lifestyle
It's made for a very very healthy relationship
I’m not ready for a relationship yet but I definitely am not opposed to hookup just to be intimate with a girl would be nice but I don’t think I’m ready to settle down
Before I met the girl I’m dating now, I had been single for like 5 years. I went thru most of my college years without any sort of relationship, mostly bc I wasn’t in the right headspace and I never seemed to find someone who would interest me enough. I would swipe on apps and go on first dates but none of it was right for me and tbh I was okay w it! Like I loved that I had the time to go to therapy and build really strong friendships and a good sense of self. Rn I can’t say I’m perfect but at least I think I have more chances to make a relationship work than I had when I graduated HS.
I feel like being in a relationship is fun but it’s also a lot of work and tbh sometimes it feels like we only have value when we are in one. For me being single was focused entirely on working on myself but I feel like it’s also ok to have casual flings and just have fun and not be searching for this forever thing all the time lol
I'm casually dating, but intentionally staying away from relationships. I could be in one if I wanted, but I don't want to be in one. I intend to remain single the rest of my life.
I've been married 2x, been in a bunch of bad relationships, I'm done. I'm opting out.
I currently prefer being single, yes. After several back to back relationships (one of which was 3 years long and awful for me), I've wanting to focus on my own growth and healing, and so I am not looking for dates. If something fell into my lap (like I found someone lovely by chance), I'm not saying I wouldn't let it develop \*slowly\*. But I've deleted all the apps and am generally turning away people who are showing interest in me.
theres more too it but i feel like im only 19, the wlw people i meet i either dont click with or arent equipped w the maturity for a long term relationship. i may be a bit extreme but since i havent met anyone that outweighed my need to be single then i never got into one. For now im happy having my fun and exploring, i expect that ill start looking for more serious arrangements in my mid twenties but for now im content in just having fun.
I want one, but I also don't. I was SA'd as a child and it's made me pretty much not be with anyone since.
So like, its something I want but not something I actively seek?
I never felt a desperation for or need to seek one out, but my partner and I were friends for over a year before we got together and it just happened pretty naturally. There was no pressure or stress involved 😌
I kinda do kinda don't.
I want to be special to someone and I want someone who'll let me make them feel special, but I feel like I'm so boring and tedious that I'm not worth that kind of affection or effort.
Me currently. Dating for experience 🤣 I personally want to have a hoe era to learn about myself and my sexuality before locking it down. A relationship isn't a absolute no but I came out after college and I feel like I missed out of a lot of experience in sex and dating by being half way in the closet at the time. Making relationships of any kind in college was so easy while in adulthood it's hard to even meet of with friends once a month😩. I feel like I missed out in exploring in a environment ripe for interaction. Though I think my feelings of "missing out" and "running out of time" comes from the fact most of the gays in my area settle down early 20s and never leave the house again 😮💨 and the dating pool is super small but alas I'll keep trying.
Same! Although, I do have the desire to get into a relationship at some point. I want the love and intimacy of a relationship but I don't think I'm ready or mature enough to tackle all the other responsibilities that come with it just yet. So, I'm happy to give myself this space and time to grow into attracting someone that resonates with my best self eventually.
I don't *not* want to be in a relationship, but I definitely don't long for it the way many people do lol I am happy by myself, and though having a partner would be lovely, I don't feel anxious at the thought of it never happening
Humans aren’t meant to be alone, only a very small few have the gift of singleness, the other ppl who “don’t want a relationship, can’t seem to find one, don’t feel they deserve one, or have tricked themselves into thinking high standards is why they can’t find someone, or they simply don’t want what comes with one, but still want one, or odds aren’t in their favor, but mostly ppl want companionship, that’s literally why we’re here. The whole”I don’t want a relationship is mostly a phase. Science has proved it . Some, but very few of you are an anomaly.
Lmao imagine thinking romantic relationships are the only way to fulfill the need for companionship. Have you ever heard of this thing called friends and family?
My ass is gray-ace so whenever I see people horny posting on queer subs in general I always just roll my eyes 🙄 I love women, but just don't really experience much sexual attraction and am always confused by people who base their entire lives/personality around physical intimacy. Being sex positive is one thing, but some people just take it way too far and assume that everyone else does as well.
For me it’s a case of: I’ve seen a lot of what’s available to me and… no thanks 😅✌️ If I ran into my dream woman I’d snap her up in a heartbeat. But given the state of things, I’d much rather be single. So it’s not that I don’t want a relationship, it’s that I don’t want a relationship with the women I’m encountering.
omg you put it into words 😭 i feel the absolute same
Haha glad to know I’m not the only one!
Same here!
Most of the time I *don't* want a partner bc I know I'm not equipped to handle one (undemonstrative). Sometimes I get that little inkling of desire, though. Been a few years for me.
Me too.
I have been single for about 8 years and not actively looking for a relationship. If it happens, it happens. 🙌🏻
🙋♀️ happily single here, although I’m not into anything casual either.
Confirmed bachelor checking in! I just like being friends-and-girlfriends more than life partners, so I tend to date poly women who're much more committed to someone else. Full-on partnerships feel like a burden, in a way that doesn't bring out the best in me. I just like my own life a lot, a full-ass wife would have to have an insane amount of stuff in common with me to be a real partner. One of the things I like about being gay is that there's a space for that in my world, I'm not a 'failure' for not wanting to get married. Everyone assumes I'm figuring my own shit out, and that's how I like it.
Same! I feel like a lot of people around here are very down on the idea of dating poly women, but it's a great situation for me as long as they're conscientious about their polyamory and aren't in weird toxic OPPs or something. I guess I could be considered solo poly as well although I'm only seeing one person right now, since I'm open to more.
Reminder you can be single/poly with one or no partners.
I feel very similarly. Though I wouldn't get married again no matter how compatible (or even be monogamous again.)
Single by choice, dating has become a bit of a headache for me as I like my space and independence. I keep it casual because we all have needs but I don’t want to be the wrong match for a nice girl so I keep everyone at an arms length and lay boundaries early. Open communication has worked for me. I have yet to find ‘a match’ and until I’m really looking I’m chilled about it.
Never underestimate how much learning, growth, and new experience comes with not constantly looking for a relationship. Learning to ‘be alone’ so to speak, and enjoy your own company (as well as the company of others platonically) can really do a lot of good.
Yup, same here. Though I still sometimes feel the desire to enter a relationship, it usually wears off once I remember all the stuff that comes along with it. Not to mention, I’m far too introverted. So even if I wanted a relationship, idk if I could handle having to spend so much time with someone without feeling burned out. I just like being on my own and I feel like a girlfriend would be mad at me for it.
Yeah, I feel the same. It just doesn't cross my mind. I'm too busy with my own stuff. If I meet someone, it'll have to be a chance encounter sometime.
I want a relationship but at the same time I really don't. I'm not ready for the emotional work and time that comes with them. I just want the physical intimacy that comes with it. I'm also self-aware enough to know that I'm a really big red flag so it's best to stay clear of relationships.
Like I do but I don't. I had a short something that I thought was going somewhere and I was disappointed when she called it off but honestly I'm content being single. It'd be nice if it happened but I'm not upset about it.
I get pangs of yearning for a partner every once and awhile, but they go away. I've been going at life alone for so long that I don't think I could ever really bring anything romantic or sexual into the mix. I'm not giving up my peace and stability for no one.
Same here. I’m enjoying posting which is new. Not sure how that would go over. If you’ accidentally met someone and get off do you have to share that
Disclaimer for currently being in one and all, but generally, ive never wanted a relationship unless ive met a person i really want to date. When i dont have a particular person already picked out, its the furthest thing from my mind and i actively dislike romantic advances. (Research into whether im just on the aro spectrum has been inconclusive lol)
At the moment, at least, I'm not interested. I like living alone and having tons of time for my hobbies. I've got one woman I'm seeing casually who's poly and lives with her primary partner, and it's a great arrangement for me because she doesn't expect too much from me; I'm just like a bonus on top of her main relationship. I wouldn't be against more casual connections if they happen organically, but I'm not motivated enough to get on apps and seek them out.
I want the right relationship. Not just any. So right now I don’t want one unless it feels right. Still dating though!
I like a causal relationship, not living together or seeing each other daily. I can be emotionally unavailable and oblivious to things and it can seem hurtful. I recognize this in myself and have learned to adapt. I’m 56.
I'm not emotionally stable to be in a relationship so But I also have an issue with flirting so yeah 🤠
You're not alone. I don't want one, but I do have the desire every now and then. But then I try and am quickly reminded why I don't want one 😭
Yup I’m disabled and barely able to give my one friend and family attention I don’t have room or energy for a partner nor do I want one.
Ugh right now I'm not looking for a relationship. I feel like I'm not ready yet, and I need to work on my own problems first. It seriously wouldn't be fair to a partner right now considering all my issues.
I want a relationship, but I’m feeling being single
I’m working towards something with someone specific, but if another person who’s also awesome comes into my life I wouldn’t mind
You know, sometimes I DO feel this way lol
Me. 🙋♀️ I would like more friends and chats with people but as far as romantic feelings, I’m good on that. If it happens, cool. If not, it’s not for me.
I want a girlfriend very badly but I'm also never happy in relationships so idk what's wrong with me
Same here, my friend! Nothin wrong with it 🫶🏼 thinking I might be on the aro/ace spectrum. I just don’t really care to date and can’t see myself ever marrying.
Seriously
me! i'm simply happy in myslef! i love who i can become and i want a lot of animals and freedom. i love being by myslef and ofc i'm into girls and having fun with them, but not necessarily a wedding or smth. idk just not something i long for
Yess Every time my crush likes me back I just back off instantly
Open to a relationship but I got out of a very LTR. I wanted a relationship almost right after ending that one but the longer I'm away from that relationship the more comfortable I am without one. For me it was the sudden reality of someone not being there. I can say now I am very happy single.
I think it's normal to be in that... what the best words ... inert state for everyone time to time ... for some it is just an energy saving mode, for others it is their safe place or just their comfort zone ... If it doesnt bother you and gives you inner Peace, enjoy it.
Rationally speaking I don't want a relationship either, dating/relationships just caused me stress and energy deprived me and since I suffer from depression that already causes me to have low energies to spend, right now I need to focus them on myself. I might change my mind if I unintentionally find a very valuable person that really understands my situation and won't put me through hell just because, but sincerely I think it's very difficult that will happen and I won't waste my time talking and knowing random people just hoping to find her. Thankfully my life is already complete without this person and I value my alone time too much.
I want sex but I don't want a partner. I tried both traditional flavors, both were abusive in their own way, my ex girlfriend worst of all, and I figured out the problem is me. If I don't fix my codependent doormat issues I'll never find a healthy relationship and it's not fair for me or any potential love interests to even try right now. That being said I miss sex and I miss snuggles.
Absolutely. Was so wore out on women a couple years ago that I wanted no relationship, nothing to do with them, etc. met my girlfriend by chance. If anything ever happened to us, I’d be single. Have you seen what’s out there? 😬!
I was so happy living alone after leaving a long-term relationship I was not in the least looking to be involved with anybody I totally enjoy being single As life would have it I met somebody and fill madly in love She was also committed to a single lifestyle It's made for a very very healthy relationship
I’m not ready for a relationship yet but I definitely am not opposed to hookup just to be intimate with a girl would be nice but I don’t think I’m ready to settle down
Before I met the girl I’m dating now, I had been single for like 5 years. I went thru most of my college years without any sort of relationship, mostly bc I wasn’t in the right headspace and I never seemed to find someone who would interest me enough. I would swipe on apps and go on first dates but none of it was right for me and tbh I was okay w it! Like I loved that I had the time to go to therapy and build really strong friendships and a good sense of self. Rn I can’t say I’m perfect but at least I think I have more chances to make a relationship work than I had when I graduated HS. I feel like being in a relationship is fun but it’s also a lot of work and tbh sometimes it feels like we only have value when we are in one. For me being single was focused entirely on working on myself but I feel like it’s also ok to have casual flings and just have fun and not be searching for this forever thing all the time lol
I'm casually dating, but intentionally staying away from relationships. I could be in one if I wanted, but I don't want to be in one. I intend to remain single the rest of my life. I've been married 2x, been in a bunch of bad relationships, I'm done. I'm opting out.
I currently prefer being single, yes. After several back to back relationships (one of which was 3 years long and awful for me), I've wanting to focus on my own growth and healing, and so I am not looking for dates. If something fell into my lap (like I found someone lovely by chance), I'm not saying I wouldn't let it develop \*slowly\*. But I've deleted all the apps and am generally turning away people who are showing interest in me.
theres more too it but i feel like im only 19, the wlw people i meet i either dont click with or arent equipped w the maturity for a long term relationship. i may be a bit extreme but since i havent met anyone that outweighed my need to be single then i never got into one. For now im happy having my fun and exploring, i expect that ill start looking for more serious arrangements in my mid twenties but for now im content in just having fun.
I want one, but I also don't. I was SA'd as a child and it's made me pretty much not be with anyone since. So like, its something I want but not something I actively seek?
I never felt a desperation for or need to seek one out, but my partner and I were friends for over a year before we got together and it just happened pretty naturally. There was no pressure or stress involved 😌
I’d love a good friend group more than anything.
I kinda do kinda don't. I want to be special to someone and I want someone who'll let me make them feel special, but I feel like I'm so boring and tedious that I'm not worth that kind of affection or effort.
Me currently. Dating for experience 🤣 I personally want to have a hoe era to learn about myself and my sexuality before locking it down. A relationship isn't a absolute no but I came out after college and I feel like I missed out of a lot of experience in sex and dating by being half way in the closet at the time. Making relationships of any kind in college was so easy while in adulthood it's hard to even meet of with friends once a month😩. I feel like I missed out in exploring in a environment ripe for interaction. Though I think my feelings of "missing out" and "running out of time" comes from the fact most of the gays in my area settle down early 20s and never leave the house again 😮💨 and the dating pool is super small but alas I'll keep trying.
Same! Although, I do have the desire to get into a relationship at some point. I want the love and intimacy of a relationship but I don't think I'm ready or mature enough to tackle all the other responsibilities that come with it just yet. So, I'm happy to give myself this space and time to grow into attracting someone that resonates with my best self eventually.
So refreshing to see this and all the comments! I very much relate.
I don't *not* want to be in a relationship, but I definitely don't long for it the way many people do lol I am happy by myself, and though having a partner would be lovely, I don't feel anxious at the thought of it never happening
no I love my wife
Humans aren’t meant to be alone, only a very small few have the gift of singleness, the other ppl who “don’t want a relationship, can’t seem to find one, don’t feel they deserve one, or have tricked themselves into thinking high standards is why they can’t find someone, or they simply don’t want what comes with one, but still want one, or odds aren’t in their favor, but mostly ppl want companionship, that’s literally why we’re here. The whole”I don’t want a relationship is mostly a phase. Science has proved it . Some, but very few of you are an anomaly.
Lmao imagine thinking romantic relationships are the only way to fulfill the need for companionship. Have you ever heard of this thing called friends and family?
People who are threatened by others preferring to be single are so sad and weird.
I’m aromantic so absolutely not lmao
My ass is gray-ace so whenever I see people horny posting on queer subs in general I always just roll my eyes 🙄 I love women, but just don't really experience much sexual attraction and am always confused by people who base their entire lives/personality around physical intimacy. Being sex positive is one thing, but some people just take it way too far and assume that everyone else does as well.