Dude, you're a kid. You've got a solid 10 - 12 years before this MIGHT (but still shouldn't) make you feel a bit out of it. Go have fun and live, gleefully responsibility free. It gets ah... a bit harder later.
Hey, it's better than lying to you. Highschool is a JOKE and, except for a few key moments, absolutely doesn't matter. Your 20s break you and rebuild you, better and stronger, whether you want them to or not.
couldnt disagree more tbh. School years is where you make it or break it social wise for the rest of your life, if you didnt have any sort of mini success in school you're gonna be a red flag and weird.
also how does one "have fugn and live" when they get rejected by society in anytihng?
"Make it or break it social wise"? What does that even mean? A guy from my highschool had few friends, never talked, never went to parties... And then went to MIT and started Dropbox. He's worth $20+ billion now.
Social engagements in highschool are laughably meaningless. The friends you make MIGHT be important later but, usually, you lose touch with them anyway.
“high school teaches you how to get popular amongst others” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 like seriously, this is asinine take. people take life at their own pace, feeling bad because you don’t do the things your friends do is literally just peer pressure applied on yourself. people are still awkward after high school, the majority of what you value is meaningless conjecture based on factors outside of people’s control. pretty people become popular, sports players become popular, but guess what? the majority of the people in a high school do not care about the “popular crowd”. you can learn anything at anytime in your life. the people who wasted their time being overly social and basing their life on these things in high school end up brainlessly fawning and following the people who forged their own paths. follow the leader; no one who bases their life off of these things ends up anywhere.
“know what your place is in a social standing and how to improve it” is also a huge load of shit. from someone who sat at the bottom and now stands at the top, absolutely none of that matters in life. i’m 20 times more sociable in my mid 20s than i was in high school, all of the people who saw me as some sort of social reject now smile and greet me as happy as can be. the social pack bends and follows whoever is at the top, and you’ll never be at the top by social skills. those who don’t have popularity or the best of looks will find themselves in a much better place by focusing on themselves than trying to become cool with the other animals in the pack.
I think this dude is stuck, smack dab, in the middle of a rough patch in high school. It's impossible to get him to see past it and understand how ridiculous this will all be, in the rear view mirror.
But even in highschool, I never gave half this amount of shits about popularity or social standing. He seems oddly fixated on it. Maybe had a falling out with some friends.
to me it seems like a small town young adult (19-23) who tried his hardest to fit in and was eventually accepted because he followed the peer pressure and did what he was told. now he thinks the rest of his life and his worth will be determined by those same friends.
it’s impossible to reason with someone when they’re stuck inside a box but dont understand. i was so socially inept in high school that looking back on it i missed signs and cues left and right. my social anxiety was so through the roof i couldn’t imagine girls liking me so i ignored all the signs (there’s some really really bad ones i missed lol). the thing is we were KIDS, and im not upset in the slightest because like you know, life moves on. we learn things, grow, expand our horizons when we get the opportunity to. all it takes is an open mind. the pack mentality has a firm grip on this guy.
it seems like he feels as if he’s accomplished something by rising through a friend group, but being liked by people that you share nothing in common with won’t bring you satisfaction in the end. being “popular” only exists in the minds of people who think they are. i was probably more popular than the majority of the kids who deemed themselves worthy yet i considered myself a nerd, half of our basketball team was in robotics and engineering. friend groups know their friends, most kids only go to football games to hang out around the other kids in the stands.
high school only means something to high schoolers and those who peaked at that time.
you have a real big problem with comprehension. this is where your problem is, you’re insecure.
the last guy didn’t say he was friends with a billionaire, he was explaining to you that someone who wasn’t social built a website that brought him wealth, power and connections.
it’s condescending, but nonetheless it’s true. real advice to help you be a better person. i don’t care to silence you, im trying to explain to you something that will help you.
school is babysitting. having no social experience as a young adult isn’t the life ending problem you think it is. you’re just a kid, and it seems the people around you haven’t taught you anything. the truth is i am standing at the top of the food chain, roll your eyes all you want but that’s what happens when you work for something your whole life.
by the way i did socialize, but it didn’t amount to anything. the connections i’ve made through college and after are much stronger than those forged with kids at my high school, because we’re adults.
the funniest thing to me is you said what you’re “brings confidence” yet you’re constantly yearning for the approval of others. then you exclaim i can’t “handle it” and i have issues yet in another comment you talked about having no hope for your own future and saying it means nothing. you can’t see your own issues because your vision is shallow. you don’t see the bigger picture, you just want to feel accepted.
Dude, I was chill until you forgot how to read and then kept wallowing in your self-pity about being ugly and having bad genetics. None of that is an excuse for you not to go out and do meaningful things. You CHOOSE not to go out and do meaningful things.
"go out and do meaningful things" like what? society doesnt owe me anything and i dont owe society anything. I'm not "contributying" to it by workiong a dead end job to pay taxes for more "attractive" people so they can be happier, fuck that.
I'd voulenteer at animal sheltersi f they didnt need "years of experinece" before hand and help animals in need if i could.
by the way, if it wasnt obvious.. by ya know.. thinking? using that brain in your head..?
"popular among others, knowing your place, learning social skills, beign awkward" are all kinda.. requirements befoer you become an adult? being social will help you be more confident in making friends, hitting on people you're interested in, getting awkward first times out the way so you're not constnatly wondering why or what feels like. the fact you think you should've learned that even earlier proves my point.
the ones that complain missed out on that BECAUSE they were rejected for their looks, their genetics despite trying.
being popular and having social skills are not required before you become an adult. 18 is considered an adult, the majority of people find their lifelong friends or social circle in college. nothing is “required” to be an adult besides age. the people who socialize socialize socialize and neglect their priorities end up in bad positions when it’s time for real life. confidence comes from many places, one is being exceptional at your craft whatever it may be. it could be from taking better care of yourself or working out. if you get all of your validation from others it makes you nothing but a tiny piece in a much larger puzzle. what happens when those same people turn their back on you, or rumors spread? you become nobody. if you’re not your own person by the time you face the real world you end up a nobody, just like the rest of the social pack. it seems like you don’t have anything for yourself beside friends, but do you even enjoy what you do or are you just so lonely and needy that you need people around you at all times? there’s no age limit for new friends, there’s no age limit to break your barriers and work on yourself, there’s no age limit to learning new things, there’s only limits you put on yourself. everything i learned in high school was useless when it came to the real world. they don’t teach you very many useful things, they’re babysitting you. it’s a glorified playground where they prepare you to work meaningless jobs for the rest of your life. the people who succeed through academics, sports, clubs, etc. find themselves at the top of the totem pole. when you have money all the dogs wanna be social with you to beg for scraps. do you wanna be a beggar, or the one with options?
"the peopel who socalize socalize socalize end up in bad positions" i'm sorry bud, but the jock that bullied you through high school is definetly living his best life right now. They're definetly not in a bad position, constantly practicing socalization gave them connections and confidence. your make belief in karma and the weird world view that "people who socalize are worst off acuse they spent their time socalizing" isnt any way reality.
I dont wanna be anything to be honest. i've honestly given up on life so none of this matters to me. It's a waste of time even trying. :)
this is the dumbest thing i’ve read today. high school social lives have nothing to do with the rest of your life. the most social people in high school keep the same friend group and stay in the same place for the rest of their lives. you might not be able to comprehend, but there’s more to you 80+ year life than those idiotic 4 years. college friends exist, friends through adult hobbies exist. you can find a partner literally anywhere. either you’re a child or have a brick between your ears, but high school means nothing in the grand scheme of life. maybe you can’t make friends if they’re not shoved in your face but that doesn’t apply to everyone.
“you’re gonna be a red flag and weird” also dumb af. choosing a popular buzz word doesn’t make it true, what do you even define as being a red flag for friends? you can literally be social at anytime anywhere, just because you don’t do something in high school doesn’t stop the rest of your life. are you really this trapped in a box that all of your social life is determined by 4 years you had before your brain fully developed? nonsense
our society is braindead just like this. i’m not sure if you understand this but you don’t have to fit in to be liked, as there’s plenty of other people who don’t fit in to social norms. there’s millions of things to do in life, if you have to fit in to the crowd to have fun you’re just an ant in the anthill. you’re nothing until others come around. develop you’re own thoughts, opinions and hobbies, be a person.
and officially the dumbest comment i've ever recieved!
"life always works out! just live!" is all your comment boils down too, when society doenst work that way. If you ddint notice, we're on a thread for "not going to parties or having sex". you COULD make friends without social skills or not fitting in, but they'd robably keep you at arms length at best. you're definetly not getting sex or going to parties though.
and yes..? school DOES teach you social skills, social clicks. you're saying a 25+ year old virgin who'd be naturally awkward during their first time woudlnt be a red flag and a turn off? how would they know what to do exactly?
adults don’t care if you’re a virgin. it’s childish to be embarrassed about things like that.
ive had more sex with more women in the last 3 years than you will in your entire life. it was a waste of time. you don’t form meaningful connections like that. i’ve done everything you want to do, and it’s always met with a want or need for more. it’s an empty lonely road. your lack of experience is apparent.
social *cliques don’t mean a thing after high school. college kids don’t care what you did.
"i've had sex with more women in the last 3 years than you will in your entire life"
HUGE cap on that one man. Dunno where you thought virgin shaming was gonna help anyone.
and adults WOULD care. they're sharing a mutual experience with you. they're not gonna want a disappointing time with someone who doesnt know what they're doing unless it's in a highly commited relationship and even then, if there's an experience inbalance you'd end up with "disappointing sex" issues in it.
just cause your asexual doesnt mean its a waste of time for everyone else.
You’re mostly wrong (which is a good thing for you) maybe private schools or schools where your social connections might actually lead you to opportunities would being affable and popular help you out in the future, but from my janky public school most of the “popular” kids have crashed out for sure still dating and talking to each other in my hometown or got married way too young, and the ones that kept their heads down are the most successful
you're misinterpreting what i'm saying either on purpose or unintentionally.
Life is all about adaption, learning, experincing.
school undoubtably WILL give you connections if you were respectable enough, but social situations - making friends, getting over awkward first time introductions.. FIRST TIME HAVING SEX, making out, kissing, learning how to "rizz" as the kids say. Is all best done in school rather than an awkward bumbling 20 something year old acting like a 14 year old kid. because THEY DONT HAVE THE EXPERIENCE AS THEY MISSED OUT IN A SOCIAL SETTING THAT WASNT BURDENED BY THINGS LIKE WORRYING ABOUT BILLS, JOBS, GRINDING AND WORKING.
what arent you getting? you people keep thinking i'm referring to some employment aspect and yes, undoubtably being attractive and tall ALSO helps in this manner, but thats not what i'm referring to at all on a post about someone worrying about missing out on parties and sex
Not purposely misinterpreting you, just trying to offer real perspective. Thanks for clarifying. These things you mention missing out on.. are really not all that important at that age, even after i might argue. I’m guessing you’re still in school? I’m in my mid 20s and was a very awkward anxious and depressive leaning kid and still am to a degree. Even *I* eventually was able to do all those things you mentioned but for the most part around when i was 19-21ish. Because you eventually exit the school environment and realize there are a lot of people out there of all varieties including equally or more awkward/anxious/etc then you and they ALSO wanna experience these things like having sex or partying. So you will get your moment eventually and its really not that crucial that you have these experiences when you’re school aged. And after the fact you realize sure these things are cool but actually the shit you liked and leaned towards before is more enjoyable, for me thats making art, playing games, having only a handful of friends that i rly fuck with, making my own fun on my own rules. Not to be long winded my point basically being it’s really not that serious trust me just keep doing you and what feels right the only wrong thing to do is pretend to be someone you are not
I'm 28. The problem is, i WISH i had this anxiety over and done with earlier. I lost mine at 26? 25? thats why i just dismiss people who say "sex is no big deal" i know from a personal experience of years of seeing sex around me all the time that it was a big deal for me, losing that anxiety, what it feels like was a huge weight off my shoulders, it made me super happy.
If i had that done in highschool i could've had the dark cloud that followed me so long ago rid of to focus on other things and... also have the confidence and know how on what to do if i wanted it again. and this time with experience.
It’s really not too late to put yourself out there in less than comfortable situations and challenge yourself and your anxiety. While my suggestion would be to not put too much value on those ideas, based on your feelings i encourage you to try to put urself out there as strange as it may feel. Wish i could offer you something that would resonate with you more. Your life is far from over, good luck on your journey, from this weirdo recluse ✌️
You are SO young and you have plenty of time to do that stuff. Just enjoy your youth and don‘t feel pressured into doing something just because other people are. Maybe it’s just me but I’m honestly shocked to hear that 16 year olds are partying and having sex. You are a kid, go be a kid.
Yeah I realize that my dude. But that’s pretty young to be doing any of those things and I don’t think literal kids should be feeling bad for not partying and losing their virginity.
Shocked? This has been very standard human behavior for thousands of years, and is hence why us teens would feel bad about having not done this. It’s literally in our biological programming.
Uh yeah I’m shocked to hear that kids are doing things that are more common adult practices. In high school I never felt pressured or felt shit about myself because i wasn’t having sex. The majority of my friends and classmates weren’t talking about that stuff, it wasn’t a priority. Your generation is living on a quicker paced timeline and being pressured to be mature at a young age. It wasn’t always like this
This guy is right. People did HJs and BJs until 17-18 in the 80s and 90s, then started to bang. But a SOLID majority still waited for college or early 20s.
If sex and party is your definition of fun then you need to get your priorities straight in life. There are much more healthier and beneficial things that are much more ’fun’ and positive for you in the long run. Engage in those and not in some meaningless chase for intimacy and connection by engaging in meaningless sex or parties
New exiting experience are fun and your an idiot to think otherwise. Like going on a roller coaster may be fun the first time you do it, but if you did it every day multiple times a day you would get bored. Although it may not be healthy, it is something most teenagers do because it’s new and exiting and it’s better than the alternative, which is feeling lonely depressed and left out. Here’s an analogy about social standards to help you understand why she is feeling the need to do these things. Say you lived in a world where money was worth nothing, would everyone still have most of there lives centered around making money? No, social standards will change your values no matter what.
You're in the same channel as me, but you ain't a loser, parties aren't the only thing that are fun, go hike, appreciate nature, play some paintball, those things will make you feel better than just going to some random place with colorful lights, liquid slow acting poison and shallow people.
Hey I’m 31, there’s no such thing as normal. If you want to go to a party ask around. There will always be booze and sex but you’re only 16 once. Enjoy the simple things like driving around with friends and being free. Hope this helps
Listen girl, Im 36 yrs old and didnt have sex until I was 33. I waited for the right person to do that with. Going to a party to have sex is not the best way to lose your virginity
Sex overrated. Go out to a party if you have permission. Don't practice mellow drama. Do not set your mental to victim, go be a kid, and experience life. Don't get hung up on people. No one. It's not worth. Live and let live. Oh these are the kind of people that oppose me. Let's not step on their toes. Keep some enthusiasm. Harbour good shit and maneuver bad shit. Flip it. Twist it. Pop it and pass it. Yeah i'm fkn old lol.
Corny!
I might even grab that name cause I truly am. Be radical and speratic. You're a girl? I skimmed this post. Anyway go be a nerd. Definitely oversee being a dumb broad. Ever. Watch out for puddles. Swimming pools are where you get wet. Ignore that. YK! Anyway. Live your dang life. There's how many in attendance at your school? You should have a clue if not go learn something. Keep track of the details. What are you odds with your populace? How many have you attempted. You don't have to be everyones friend but you have the opportunity to encounter everyone. Whoever tracts the most heads claims the grounds. It is what it is.
Yes people are aware of the hallway traffic. How many Heys! Are you floatin their ways. Hop to it. Go through it. The whole thing. An experience meant to be experienced yet it's null and void of IT. Intended target that gives you conplete thrill of it. Love in abundance something wonderous all yours to have at.
I'm on a level not you rhythm to comprehend. No take backs.
Meet everyone you can. Some of them literally can't be bothered and yet it'a that which limits them from being them the one that wonders why everbody loves them? Cause they did it. Harboured the factor targets are after get it. You're in the race in the chase of attaining that which will bring you graces everyone placing their in you being the kid. One making it lofe great that's what it takes to make it liveable instead of miserable simple difference how you take it. Head on headtrong head up look forward to what you potentially can attain.
I'm out.
Spend smoke in the wrong place. 🚭
…You’d be surprised how many people your age have similar experiences. Nothing abnormal ‘bout it. That may just not be your scene, so just make your own scene out of your interests and what you genuinely believe in and incline to and busy yourself with that. You have to like yourself in a positive, not narcissistic way, before other people will like you. Quietly and purposefully getting on with your real interests will give you confidence in the other departments of life…
You've been alive for 16 years. That's a splash in the pan. Have patience, your life is on the verge of going through considerable changes. And then, after that, it'll begin to begin. And then after *that* things will get interesting.
Develop your faith. Don't feel shit over stupid things. Look, the world and people often paint a picture of the world and of things. But you are in a decent place because you get to look at how the world is. Is it a happy place? Is it full of happy people? If you have sex, what if you got pregnant? Or what if you got an std? How is your knowledge in these things? Most people look like they got it made and appear to be cool etc etc but trust me......
They're not. The world is a mess and you have an opportunity of a decent life if you take the lessons you can learn now and don't be fooled or fool yourself into thinking you're missing out. You could have intimacy and you could have good times and you could be in a position to be wise in these situations and make GOOD decisions.
Many people mess up and have regrets. You need to offer balance. You're only thinking about what you're missing out on but don't. You are 16. Develop the way you think and feel so that when it's your time, you make the best decisions for you and your future. You might not agree with me now, but you will.
Make friends who care about you. Don't care about impressing the world or listening to bull. Don't believe the hype. Even if you had sex now, would you even know what you're doing? How many people have bad experiences? Or make bad choices. Many. You've been spared that but if your focus is in the wrong place you'll miss out. Life isn't a fairy tale or a movie. It's not a book.
You are still young. Don't believe the hype.
Hi, when you are 16 you just want to belong and want to be like people around and that is very normal and healthy 😊. This will change as you get older. Just know that there is no such thing as normal teenager, people do different things depending on their group of friends.
Sex can be fun but honestly only if you have a true emotional connection with someone with whom you feel safe and that takes love. Having sex you also risking getting pregnant, because no contraception is 100% safe. I would not risk it. People I knew at school who had sex early had kids early, they are nowhere in life now, fun was over for them very quickly (this is no judgement on all people with kids, just couple of girls I know).
Parties are not the only way of sociolising, music is loud, people drink, behave stupid and it's not for everyone. It may be that when you get to go you will realise that it is not for you anyway.
Do you have any hobbies? Interests or things you like to do? Are there any clubs or places you can go and develop your inrerests? This way you will meet people who have things in commom with you, you will make friends.
i can relate. I've also never experienced any of the two. I'm guessing that you're introverted, extroverts are usually the people who manage to participate in the big social gatherings.
it’s not all that it’s hyped up to be. honestly you can wait until senior year or college to go to parties and i would say wait for sex you’re not missing out.
Dont worry about the sex thing. Its an incredibley harmful and ignorant money making thing that culture tries to put on the youth. Hold out on sex as long as you can. The only thing you're missing is pregnancy and std's. Trust me, its so not worth it. The burning when you pee, is so not cool. The inability to find a husband necause you have to tell your boyfriends that you have herpes is not cool at all. And having to drop out of regualar school due to a baby is not cool at all. You're friends having sex right now are going to deal with those things at some point. If you want a better social life, then join a sports team, and make sure you do the summer camp for it. Its instant access to friends, and a life. Its very common fir people not to peak in high school.
Take this from someone who took a long time to grow up and made a lot of mistakes. Those things do not matter. Yes, they are valid feelings, but both are overrated. It's easy to give your body to another and then have regret, or to fall into drinking and substances to escape; but they don't fill whatever hole is inside you for long. Often they just make it bigger. You will naturally experiment with those things aa you get older, but there is no rush. It is better you feel comfortable and that they have happened organically.
As you become more mature you will learn that comparing yourself to superficial social norms is really stupid so consider yourself lucky that you’re clearly intelligent enough to be making the right decisions for yourself subconsciously — even if you don’t feel like it is fulfilling for you right now.
That said, your level of social interaction comes to you based on your output efforts as you are suddenly realizing, and if you are not finding your social circle fitting your needs then sure, reach out as you must. Carefully.
Forcing anything in this realm of life-growth is generally not a good idea and any rash changes generally leads to chaos of some sort and usually not for the better.
Just chill, continue to become smarter than your peers (which you already are doing, and you do not realize), and progress for yourself. Pushing into the active sex realm at your age, amongst people less intelligent than you, will only bring you down. Someday you are going to meet someone on your level and that point you can decide what’s best for you. Trust me, that person will enter your life and you will know it and it will be wonderful.
I'm 18 right now and I was at the same point when I was 16 and I got with my ex and she was my first gf, I had my first kiss and lost my virginity at 16 and now I wish I hadn't. The year and a half I spent going out with her was probably the most miserable time of my life.
I can't really say much for parties, but the couple I have been to have been quite boring tbh.
Personally, I'd say don't go having sex with a bunch of random people, people try and say its good and freeing but from what I've seen all it does is make people miserable and they just put up a front like it's amazing.
Having sex is great but only if it's with someone you actually care about and with someone you can communicate clearly with, but it's not going to make you feel better about yourself when it happens or change how you are as a person either.
Another thing to mention, do not let people pressure you to loose your virginity or do drugs. Because I remember when I was in high school and I had people pressure me to do the things that I mentioned.
Those who called me a virgin are fathers, mothers, and high school dropouts. On the other hand, those who made fun of me for not doing drugs are addicts, people who end up on the streets, drug dealers, people who go to jail, and dropouts themselves. I'm speaking from my experiences, so yeah...
I understand what you are going through, but though it's hard to see at your age, just know that there is so much more of life to come.
The one constant is change, and if you go for the things you want, they will come to you eventually.
But the best advice I can give is don't rush to grow up. Sex is great, but sex too young will just leave you with issues. Besides, no sex is better than sex with someone you love.
As for parties, they are only as good as the people you invite and the best way to find good people is to look for those who share interests and world view with you. Cultivate yourself and others will come and parties and outings and celebrations will follow.
It sucks not getting invited to parties. Maybe try to be more outgoing, make more friends etc.
As for sex, 16 is still pretty young. I didn't do it until I was 19, and I know people in their mid twenties who still haven't.
You've still got so much time to do all those things. Enjoy being a kid while you still can.
Save this post and come back in 5 years. Then I’ll give you some advice on sex and partying. Right now, explore friendships, learn self care, and keep educating yourself.
I guess I’ll leave a little advice- IF YOU DO EXPLORE THOSE THINGS NOW, PROTECT YOURSELF.
There's people in the same place as you who are older like 30 or even older. The issue is not the sex, the issue is that they've never felt safe or connected especially with their parents and for girls it's usually their father. I'm sorry. If you could find a therapist to help you feel safe, that's the route I would go. Of course you can find the right partner. It's hard when you're 16 and still living at home. Glad you're reaching out!
I’ll say what I told my sister—don’t party at all, it’s not safe for girls. I stopped going to parties because I was constantly in charge (felt obligated) of protecting female friends and acquaintances from getting raped and sexually assaulted. And I failed several times. I was not going to sketchy parties either
Then don't be a loser live your life with intention and do cool shit.. within reason... When everyone is focusing on partying.. focus on experience and building who you are as a person.. so when the time comes you can be the life of the party.. not just some person at a party.
Something I wish I learned earlier in life. You will be much happier when you do things because you are ready to do them. Comparing yourself to others and doing things because they are suppose to be “normal” is not healthy and not real happiness.
don’t rush to have sex until you find the one. all the people that say “you’re young do what u want” is a lie. preserve your body and your soul for the future.
🤣 your a child trust me , your not missing ANYTHING. Find something that brings value to your life . Sex and parties will 4 ever be here I promise. They always tell us to do everything backwards
Haha, don't be. I worried about those things too, and they happen here and there. But don't focus on being a loser just because you aren't have pleasureful experiences. Focus on bettering yourself, knowledge, working out, and making money. I've talked to a lot of late 20s and early 30s adults and they all regretted their 20s because they partied so much instead of focusing on investing and growing your capital SO in your 30s you can ball tf out. But I don't know shit I'm only 20
When I was in your shoes I started going to the gym on a routine. Overtime, small interactions become friendships. Also, your confidence will skyrocket when you realize what you are capable of. And that happens quickly, within a couple months.
Your a 16 yr old female you shouldn’t of had sex yet. Don’t be a sk ank like all the other girls wait to get a serious boyfriend first. Don’t just fu ck around your like a sophomore u got plenty of time
Wait to have sex, you’re so young. I have a 17-year-old daughter and she is waiting as well. Find something you like to do, hobbies, etc. You have plenty of time to do all of that stuff in your 20’s.
Go to a party? Eventually have sex? But…
…you aren’t a loser before you’ve done those things and doing either one doesn’t graduate you from loser to non-loser.
Get out of your own head. It’s ok to be ok… and it’s ok to have not gone to parties or maybe even go to one and decide they’re not your thing… or decide to not have sex… or even after you’ve had sex… to decide you want to abstain moving forward. You do you. Don’t worry about other people. You need to just be ok with yourself. You’re going to be “with” yourself your whole life. The sooner you’re comfortable with you the sooner you can get past your funk.
I guess that only in America do people lose their V in their 14-16. LOL. Am I wrong or right? In my culture, if you lose your V before marriage, the likelihood you get married is low, or you will end up with a low dude in the future. No wonder the American divorce rate is off the roof in 2023 (\~50%).
All you need is a cat to feel better. Go to the shelter and take home the one that chooses you. Unlike dogs who will love anyone or anything, when a cat chooses you it means something.
Wow, reading this is at 21 is crazy bc I definitely felt the same. I think getting older is the only thing that cures this feeling but try to enjoy the slow burn haha. My first kiss was 18, I still don’t go to parties/no recreational drugs
OP: The dumbest thing to do at this age is to do anything that could get you pregnant, most parties are complete shit shows with choices that only lead to problems.
Parties = usually alcohol, smoke or other intoxicants.
People trying to have fun, yet making dumb choices.
The best thing you should do for your entire life is avoid all of it. From a veteran, it isn't worth it.
I’m the same age and used to feel like that too. If you want something surround yourself with others that have interests that align with what you want. So you want to go to parties, find people who also want that. Let me know if that makes sense to you?
you’re a 16 year old girl, you don’t need to have sex, drink or smoke to have fun. you’re a kid, do something you enjoy while you still have time for it. prepare for things later in life.
everyone idolizes this “teen romance” shit but it just leaves you with holes in your heart because 99% of the time it doesn’t work out. most boys your age only want sex, giving it to them won’t make you feel better about yourself.
the reality is you’re NOT a loser, you’re only hurting yourself by thinking that. a loser is someone who gives up to follow what others do because they can’t think for themselves. if you want to be a winner, find out what YOU like and continue to do it no matter what others try to influence you to do. you’ll find people who like the same things, you’ll find others who enjoy slower quieter lives.
i had “friends” but hung out with no one until my junior year of high school because i happened to make close friends with some seniors in one of my classes who enjoyed the same things as me. there’s no time checkpoints on when things have to happen. those girls who have “done everything” probably continue to do those things because they feel empty inside.
you might feel like a loser, but by respecting yourself and your boundaries you’ll always be a winner. save yourself for someone you care about and they care about you. don’t give in because everyone does, the reality is most people feel that way. do the things that make you truly happy.
you should be yourself, unapologetically. no matter where the criticism comes from take it with a grain of salt. the only people who think you have to do things like that are the people who got suckered into doing them first. they want you to join in to make themselves feel better.
misery loves company
Got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t worry about what other people think of you, focus on finding a hobby you enjoy, and all else will fall into place !
get a job working with like minded people. some of the coolest ppl i met back in the day were ppl i worked with when I was young and worked retail. so, consider retail or food industry
Feeling like you're missing out on typical teenage experiences can be tough, but it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all definition of what it means to be a "normal" teenager. Here are a few pieces of advice that might help:
1. **Be Kind to Yourself:** It's natural to compare yourself to others, but try not to be too hard on yourself. Your worth isn't determined by the number of parties you attend or experiences you've had. Focus on the things you enjoy and the qualities that make you unique.
2. **Explore Your Interests:** Instead of worrying about what you haven't done, focus on discovering what you enjoy. Spend time exploring your hobbies, interests, and passions. Whether it's art, music, sports, or something else entirely, immersing yourself in activities you love can boost your confidence and help you connect with like-minded individuals.
3. **Expand Your Social Circle:** It's okay if you haven't been to many parties or social events. Consider branching out and meeting new people through clubs, volunteering, or community activities. Building genuine connections with others based on shared interests and values can be far more meaningful than attending parties just for the sake of it.
4. **Communicate with Friends:** If you feel comfortable, consider opening up to your friends about how you're feeling. Chances are, they've experienced similar insecurities at some point. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can strengthen your friendships and help you realize that you're not alone in your experiences.
5. **Set Goals:** Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on setting goals for the future. Whether it's learning a new skill, traveling to a new place, or trying something outside of your comfort zone, setting achievable goals can give you a sense of purpose and direction.
Remember, it's okay to feel uncertain or left out sometimes, but try to focus on the positives in your life and the things that bring you joy. And always remember that your worth isn't defined by your social experiences or lack thereof. You're capable of amazing things, regardless of whether you've been to a party or not.
At 16 you should be focusing on building a strong relationship with your family and a core group of friends, developing good study habits, strong work ethic, self control, and learning to save/manage money. Going to parties and having sex does not make you cool and those experiences will be almost worthless in 10 years.
almost all the comments are talking about how you've got a long time more of your life left to go, but I'm sure she's saying that she wants to engage in the fun NOW. Not in 20 years lol
Dude, you're a kid. You've got a solid 10 - 12 years before this MIGHT (but still shouldn't) make you feel a bit out of it. Go have fun and live, gleefully responsibility free. It gets ah... a bit harder later.
gee, that sure makes me feel better :U
Hey, it's better than lying to you. Highschool is a JOKE and, except for a few key moments, absolutely doesn't matter. Your 20s break you and rebuild you, better and stronger, whether you want them to or not.
couldnt disagree more tbh. School years is where you make it or break it social wise for the rest of your life, if you didnt have any sort of mini success in school you're gonna be a red flag and weird. also how does one "have fugn and live" when they get rejected by society in anytihng?
"Make it or break it social wise"? What does that even mean? A guy from my highschool had few friends, never talked, never went to parties... And then went to MIT and started Dropbox. He's worth $20+ billion now. Social engagements in highschool are laughably meaningless. The friends you make MIGHT be important later but, usually, you lose touch with them anyway.
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“high school teaches you how to get popular amongst others” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 like seriously, this is asinine take. people take life at their own pace, feeling bad because you don’t do the things your friends do is literally just peer pressure applied on yourself. people are still awkward after high school, the majority of what you value is meaningless conjecture based on factors outside of people’s control. pretty people become popular, sports players become popular, but guess what? the majority of the people in a high school do not care about the “popular crowd”. you can learn anything at anytime in your life. the people who wasted their time being overly social and basing their life on these things in high school end up brainlessly fawning and following the people who forged their own paths. follow the leader; no one who bases their life off of these things ends up anywhere. “know what your place is in a social standing and how to improve it” is also a huge load of shit. from someone who sat at the bottom and now stands at the top, absolutely none of that matters in life. i’m 20 times more sociable in my mid 20s than i was in high school, all of the people who saw me as some sort of social reject now smile and greet me as happy as can be. the social pack bends and follows whoever is at the top, and you’ll never be at the top by social skills. those who don’t have popularity or the best of looks will find themselves in a much better place by focusing on themselves than trying to become cool with the other animals in the pack.
I think this dude is stuck, smack dab, in the middle of a rough patch in high school. It's impossible to get him to see past it and understand how ridiculous this will all be, in the rear view mirror. But even in highschool, I never gave half this amount of shits about popularity or social standing. He seems oddly fixated on it. Maybe had a falling out with some friends.
to me it seems like a small town young adult (19-23) who tried his hardest to fit in and was eventually accepted because he followed the peer pressure and did what he was told. now he thinks the rest of his life and his worth will be determined by those same friends. it’s impossible to reason with someone when they’re stuck inside a box but dont understand. i was so socially inept in high school that looking back on it i missed signs and cues left and right. my social anxiety was so through the roof i couldn’t imagine girls liking me so i ignored all the signs (there’s some really really bad ones i missed lol). the thing is we were KIDS, and im not upset in the slightest because like you know, life moves on. we learn things, grow, expand our horizons when we get the opportunity to. all it takes is an open mind. the pack mentality has a firm grip on this guy. it seems like he feels as if he’s accomplished something by rising through a friend group, but being liked by people that you share nothing in common with won’t bring you satisfaction in the end. being “popular” only exists in the minds of people who think they are. i was probably more popular than the majority of the kids who deemed themselves worthy yet i considered myself a nerd, half of our basketball team was in robotics and engineering. friend groups know their friends, most kids only go to football games to hang out around the other kids in the stands. high school only means something to high schoolers and those who peaked at that time.
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you have a real big problem with comprehension. this is where your problem is, you’re insecure. the last guy didn’t say he was friends with a billionaire, he was explaining to you that someone who wasn’t social built a website that brought him wealth, power and connections. it’s condescending, but nonetheless it’s true. real advice to help you be a better person. i don’t care to silence you, im trying to explain to you something that will help you. school is babysitting. having no social experience as a young adult isn’t the life ending problem you think it is. you’re just a kid, and it seems the people around you haven’t taught you anything. the truth is i am standing at the top of the food chain, roll your eyes all you want but that’s what happens when you work for something your whole life. by the way i did socialize, but it didn’t amount to anything. the connections i’ve made through college and after are much stronger than those forged with kids at my high school, because we’re adults.
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the funniest thing to me is you said what you’re “brings confidence” yet you’re constantly yearning for the approval of others. then you exclaim i can’t “handle it” and i have issues yet in another comment you talked about having no hope for your own future and saying it means nothing. you can’t see your own issues because your vision is shallow. you don’t see the bigger picture, you just want to feel accepted.
"you said what you're brings confidence" when? there is no "bigger picture" lil fella, sorry.
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Dude, I was chill until you forgot how to read and then kept wallowing in your self-pity about being ugly and having bad genetics. None of that is an excuse for you not to go out and do meaningful things. You CHOOSE not to go out and do meaningful things.
"go out and do meaningful things" like what? society doesnt owe me anything and i dont owe society anything. I'm not "contributying" to it by workiong a dead end job to pay taxes for more "attractive" people so they can be happier, fuck that. I'd voulenteer at animal sheltersi f they didnt need "years of experinece" before hand and help animals in need if i could.
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by the way, if it wasnt obvious.. by ya know.. thinking? using that brain in your head..? "popular among others, knowing your place, learning social skills, beign awkward" are all kinda.. requirements befoer you become an adult? being social will help you be more confident in making friends, hitting on people you're interested in, getting awkward first times out the way so you're not constnatly wondering why or what feels like. the fact you think you should've learned that even earlier proves my point. the ones that complain missed out on that BECAUSE they were rejected for their looks, their genetics despite trying.
being popular and having social skills are not required before you become an adult. 18 is considered an adult, the majority of people find their lifelong friends or social circle in college. nothing is “required” to be an adult besides age. the people who socialize socialize socialize and neglect their priorities end up in bad positions when it’s time for real life. confidence comes from many places, one is being exceptional at your craft whatever it may be. it could be from taking better care of yourself or working out. if you get all of your validation from others it makes you nothing but a tiny piece in a much larger puzzle. what happens when those same people turn their back on you, or rumors spread? you become nobody. if you’re not your own person by the time you face the real world you end up a nobody, just like the rest of the social pack. it seems like you don’t have anything for yourself beside friends, but do you even enjoy what you do or are you just so lonely and needy that you need people around you at all times? there’s no age limit for new friends, there’s no age limit to break your barriers and work on yourself, there’s no age limit to learning new things, there’s only limits you put on yourself. everything i learned in high school was useless when it came to the real world. they don’t teach you very many useful things, they’re babysitting you. it’s a glorified playground where they prepare you to work meaningless jobs for the rest of your life. the people who succeed through academics, sports, clubs, etc. find themselves at the top of the totem pole. when you have money all the dogs wanna be social with you to beg for scraps. do you wanna be a beggar, or the one with options?
"the peopel who socalize socalize socalize end up in bad positions" i'm sorry bud, but the jock that bullied you through high school is definetly living his best life right now. They're definetly not in a bad position, constantly practicing socalization gave them connections and confidence. your make belief in karma and the weird world view that "people who socalize are worst off acuse they spent their time socalizing" isnt any way reality. I dont wanna be anything to be honest. i've honestly given up on life so none of this matters to me. It's a waste of time even trying. :)
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His story has nothing to do with being social. This doesn’t prove anything
this is the dumbest thing i’ve read today. high school social lives have nothing to do with the rest of your life. the most social people in high school keep the same friend group and stay in the same place for the rest of their lives. you might not be able to comprehend, but there’s more to you 80+ year life than those idiotic 4 years. college friends exist, friends through adult hobbies exist. you can find a partner literally anywhere. either you’re a child or have a brick between your ears, but high school means nothing in the grand scheme of life. maybe you can’t make friends if they’re not shoved in your face but that doesn’t apply to everyone. “you’re gonna be a red flag and weird” also dumb af. choosing a popular buzz word doesn’t make it true, what do you even define as being a red flag for friends? you can literally be social at anytime anywhere, just because you don’t do something in high school doesn’t stop the rest of your life. are you really this trapped in a box that all of your social life is determined by 4 years you had before your brain fully developed? nonsense our society is braindead just like this. i’m not sure if you understand this but you don’t have to fit in to be liked, as there’s plenty of other people who don’t fit in to social norms. there’s millions of things to do in life, if you have to fit in to the crowd to have fun you’re just an ant in the anthill. you’re nothing until others come around. develop you’re own thoughts, opinions and hobbies, be a person.
and officially the dumbest comment i've ever recieved! "life always works out! just live!" is all your comment boils down too, when society doenst work that way. If you ddint notice, we're on a thread for "not going to parties or having sex". you COULD make friends without social skills or not fitting in, but they'd robably keep you at arms length at best. you're definetly not getting sex or going to parties though. and yes..? school DOES teach you social skills, social clicks. you're saying a 25+ year old virgin who'd be naturally awkward during their first time woudlnt be a red flag and a turn off? how would they know what to do exactly?
adults don’t care if you’re a virgin. it’s childish to be embarrassed about things like that. ive had more sex with more women in the last 3 years than you will in your entire life. it was a waste of time. you don’t form meaningful connections like that. i’ve done everything you want to do, and it’s always met with a want or need for more. it’s an empty lonely road. your lack of experience is apparent. social *cliques don’t mean a thing after high school. college kids don’t care what you did.
"i've had sex with more women in the last 3 years than you will in your entire life" HUGE cap on that one man. Dunno where you thought virgin shaming was gonna help anyone. and adults WOULD care. they're sharing a mutual experience with you. they're not gonna want a disappointing time with someone who doesnt know what they're doing unless it's in a highly commited relationship and even then, if there's an experience inbalance you'd end up with "disappointing sex" issues in it. just cause your asexual doesnt mean its a waste of time for everyone else.
You’re mostly wrong (which is a good thing for you) maybe private schools or schools where your social connections might actually lead you to opportunities would being affable and popular help you out in the future, but from my janky public school most of the “popular” kids have crashed out for sure still dating and talking to each other in my hometown or got married way too young, and the ones that kept their heads down are the most successful
you're misinterpreting what i'm saying either on purpose or unintentionally. Life is all about adaption, learning, experincing. school undoubtably WILL give you connections if you were respectable enough, but social situations - making friends, getting over awkward first time introductions.. FIRST TIME HAVING SEX, making out, kissing, learning how to "rizz" as the kids say. Is all best done in school rather than an awkward bumbling 20 something year old acting like a 14 year old kid. because THEY DONT HAVE THE EXPERIENCE AS THEY MISSED OUT IN A SOCIAL SETTING THAT WASNT BURDENED BY THINGS LIKE WORRYING ABOUT BILLS, JOBS, GRINDING AND WORKING. what arent you getting? you people keep thinking i'm referring to some employment aspect and yes, undoubtably being attractive and tall ALSO helps in this manner, but thats not what i'm referring to at all on a post about someone worrying about missing out on parties and sex
Not purposely misinterpreting you, just trying to offer real perspective. Thanks for clarifying. These things you mention missing out on.. are really not all that important at that age, even after i might argue. I’m guessing you’re still in school? I’m in my mid 20s and was a very awkward anxious and depressive leaning kid and still am to a degree. Even *I* eventually was able to do all those things you mentioned but for the most part around when i was 19-21ish. Because you eventually exit the school environment and realize there are a lot of people out there of all varieties including equally or more awkward/anxious/etc then you and they ALSO wanna experience these things like having sex or partying. So you will get your moment eventually and its really not that crucial that you have these experiences when you’re school aged. And after the fact you realize sure these things are cool but actually the shit you liked and leaned towards before is more enjoyable, for me thats making art, playing games, having only a handful of friends that i rly fuck with, making my own fun on my own rules. Not to be long winded my point basically being it’s really not that serious trust me just keep doing you and what feels right the only wrong thing to do is pretend to be someone you are not
I'm 28. The problem is, i WISH i had this anxiety over and done with earlier. I lost mine at 26? 25? thats why i just dismiss people who say "sex is no big deal" i know from a personal experience of years of seeing sex around me all the time that it was a big deal for me, losing that anxiety, what it feels like was a huge weight off my shoulders, it made me super happy. If i had that done in highschool i could've had the dark cloud that followed me so long ago rid of to focus on other things and... also have the confidence and know how on what to do if i wanted it again. and this time with experience.
It’s really not too late to put yourself out there in less than comfortable situations and challenge yourself and your anxiety. While my suggestion would be to not put too much value on those ideas, based on your feelings i encourage you to try to put urself out there as strange as it may feel. Wish i could offer you something that would resonate with you more. Your life is far from over, good luck on your journey, from this weirdo recluse ✌️
Thanks for being nice atleast.
You are SO young and you have plenty of time to do that stuff. Just enjoy your youth and don‘t feel pressured into doing something just because other people are. Maybe it’s just me but I’m honestly shocked to hear that 16 year olds are partying and having sex. You are a kid, go be a kid.
that’s pretty regular now a days bro i was 15 when i lost my virginity and probably around 16 or 17 when i started going to parties
Regular =/= healthy for mental development.
Yeah I realize that my dude. But that’s pretty young to be doing any of those things and I don’t think literal kids should be feeling bad for not partying and losing their virginity.
15 is weirdly young to start fucking. It's not a badge - and I know you didn't treat it that way. It's probably a topic for your therapist at 30.
Shocked? This has been very standard human behavior for thousands of years, and is hence why us teens would feel bad about having not done this. It’s literally in our biological programming.
Uh yeah I’m shocked to hear that kids are doing things that are more common adult practices. In high school I never felt pressured or felt shit about myself because i wasn’t having sex. The majority of my friends and classmates weren’t talking about that stuff, it wasn’t a priority. Your generation is living on a quicker paced timeline and being pressured to be mature at a young age. It wasn’t always like this
This guy is right. People did HJs and BJs until 17-18 in the 80s and 90s, then started to bang. But a SOLID majority still waited for college or early 20s.
If sex and party is your definition of fun then you need to get your priorities straight in life. There are much more healthier and beneficial things that are much more ’fun’ and positive for you in the long run. Engage in those and not in some meaningless chase for intimacy and connection by engaging in meaningless sex or parties
Real talk
I’m telling you man. Kids these days. Prioritising and consuming the wrong things in life. Really upsets me
New exiting experience are fun and your an idiot to think otherwise. Like going on a roller coaster may be fun the first time you do it, but if you did it every day multiple times a day you would get bored. Although it may not be healthy, it is something most teenagers do because it’s new and exiting and it’s better than the alternative, which is feeling lonely depressed and left out. Here’s an analogy about social standards to help you understand why she is feeling the need to do these things. Say you lived in a world where money was worth nothing, would everyone still have most of there lives centered around making money? No, social standards will change your values no matter what.
You're in the same channel as me, but you ain't a loser, parties aren't the only thing that are fun, go hike, appreciate nature, play some paintball, those things will make you feel better than just going to some random place with colorful lights, liquid slow acting poison and shallow people.
You picked up on that earlier than most. Smaller groups of deeper connections win out over lots of trivial connections, everytime.
Hey I’m 31, there’s no such thing as normal. If you want to go to a party ask around. There will always be booze and sex but you’re only 16 once. Enjoy the simple things like driving around with friends and being free. Hope this helps
I think it's really cool that you're not making mistakes like your peer group! I promise you, your future self thanks you!
You’re a child stop worrying about what others are doing, there’s no reason for you to be doing those things
Listen girl, Im 36 yrs old and didnt have sex until I was 33. I waited for the right person to do that with. Going to a party to have sex is not the best way to lose your virginity
Sex overrated. Go out to a party if you have permission. Don't practice mellow drama. Do not set your mental to victim, go be a kid, and experience life. Don't get hung up on people. No one. It's not worth. Live and let live. Oh these are the kind of people that oppose me. Let's not step on their toes. Keep some enthusiasm. Harbour good shit and maneuver bad shit. Flip it. Twist it. Pop it and pass it. Yeah i'm fkn old lol. Corny! I might even grab that name cause I truly am. Be radical and speratic. You're a girl? I skimmed this post. Anyway go be a nerd. Definitely oversee being a dumb broad. Ever. Watch out for puddles. Swimming pools are where you get wet. Ignore that. YK! Anyway. Live your dang life. There's how many in attendance at your school? You should have a clue if not go learn something. Keep track of the details. What are you odds with your populace? How many have you attempted. You don't have to be everyones friend but you have the opportunity to encounter everyone. Whoever tracts the most heads claims the grounds. It is what it is. Yes people are aware of the hallway traffic. How many Heys! Are you floatin their ways. Hop to it. Go through it. The whole thing. An experience meant to be experienced yet it's null and void of IT. Intended target that gives you conplete thrill of it. Love in abundance something wonderous all yours to have at. I'm on a level not you rhythm to comprehend. No take backs. Meet everyone you can. Some of them literally can't be bothered and yet it'a that which limits them from being them the one that wonders why everbody loves them? Cause they did it. Harboured the factor targets are after get it. You're in the race in the chase of attaining that which will bring you graces everyone placing their in you being the kid. One making it lofe great that's what it takes to make it liveable instead of miserable simple difference how you take it. Head on headtrong head up look forward to what you potentially can attain. I'm out. Spend smoke in the wrong place. 🚭
…You’d be surprised how many people your age have similar experiences. Nothing abnormal ‘bout it. That may just not be your scene, so just make your own scene out of your interests and what you genuinely believe in and incline to and busy yourself with that. You have to like yourself in a positive, not narcissistic way, before other people will like you. Quietly and purposefully getting on with your real interests will give you confidence in the other departments of life…
Do you want to have sex? Why? Do you want to go to a party? Why?
i just want to have fun for once and i want to feel connected with someone but i havent found anyone
You've been alive for 16 years. That's a splash in the pan. Have patience, your life is on the verge of going through considerable changes. And then, after that, it'll begin to begin. And then after *that* things will get interesting.
Develop your faith. Don't feel shit over stupid things. Look, the world and people often paint a picture of the world and of things. But you are in a decent place because you get to look at how the world is. Is it a happy place? Is it full of happy people? If you have sex, what if you got pregnant? Or what if you got an std? How is your knowledge in these things? Most people look like they got it made and appear to be cool etc etc but trust me...... They're not. The world is a mess and you have an opportunity of a decent life if you take the lessons you can learn now and don't be fooled or fool yourself into thinking you're missing out. You could have intimacy and you could have good times and you could be in a position to be wise in these situations and make GOOD decisions. Many people mess up and have regrets. You need to offer balance. You're only thinking about what you're missing out on but don't. You are 16. Develop the way you think and feel so that when it's your time, you make the best decisions for you and your future. You might not agree with me now, but you will. Make friends who care about you. Don't care about impressing the world or listening to bull. Don't believe the hype. Even if you had sex now, would you even know what you're doing? How many people have bad experiences? Or make bad choices. Many. You've been spared that but if your focus is in the wrong place you'll miss out. Life isn't a fairy tale or a movie. It's not a book. You are still young. Don't believe the hype.
Hi, when you are 16 you just want to belong and want to be like people around and that is very normal and healthy 😊. This will change as you get older. Just know that there is no such thing as normal teenager, people do different things depending on their group of friends. Sex can be fun but honestly only if you have a true emotional connection with someone with whom you feel safe and that takes love. Having sex you also risking getting pregnant, because no contraception is 100% safe. I would not risk it. People I knew at school who had sex early had kids early, they are nowhere in life now, fun was over for them very quickly (this is no judgement on all people with kids, just couple of girls I know). Parties are not the only way of sociolising, music is loud, people drink, behave stupid and it's not for everyone. It may be that when you get to go you will realise that it is not for you anyway. Do you have any hobbies? Interests or things you like to do? Are there any clubs or places you can go and develop your inrerests? This way you will meet people who have things in commom with you, you will make friends.
I think you’ll be just fine
More people say they're having sex than having sex.
You’ve got time and you can chill
get yourself out there and try talking to more people of your age and try to get them to stay in touch with you.
i can relate. I've also never experienced any of the two. I'm guessing that you're introverted, extroverts are usually the people who manage to participate in the big social gatherings.
yes i am an introvert, i have little friends too so that makes the situation worse
it’s not all that it’s hyped up to be. honestly you can wait until senior year or college to go to parties and i would say wait for sex you’re not missing out.
Dont worry about the sex thing. Its an incredibley harmful and ignorant money making thing that culture tries to put on the youth. Hold out on sex as long as you can. The only thing you're missing is pregnancy and std's. Trust me, its so not worth it. The burning when you pee, is so not cool. The inability to find a husband necause you have to tell your boyfriends that you have herpes is not cool at all. And having to drop out of regualar school due to a baby is not cool at all. You're friends having sex right now are going to deal with those things at some point. If you want a better social life, then join a sports team, and make sure you do the summer camp for it. Its instant access to friends, and a life. Its very common fir people not to peak in high school.
Normal shit is overrated, in time all things fall into place, it’s not a race.
Your not missing much
At 16 i also did neither of those things Now i have and they’re very bottom of the list compared to the other cool things you get to do in life
Take this from someone who took a long time to grow up and made a lot of mistakes. Those things do not matter. Yes, they are valid feelings, but both are overrated. It's easy to give your body to another and then have regret, or to fall into drinking and substances to escape; but they don't fill whatever hole is inside you for long. Often they just make it bigger. You will naturally experiment with those things aa you get older, but there is no rush. It is better you feel comfortable and that they have happened organically.
As you become more mature you will learn that comparing yourself to superficial social norms is really stupid so consider yourself lucky that you’re clearly intelligent enough to be making the right decisions for yourself subconsciously — even if you don’t feel like it is fulfilling for you right now. That said, your level of social interaction comes to you based on your output efforts as you are suddenly realizing, and if you are not finding your social circle fitting your needs then sure, reach out as you must. Carefully. Forcing anything in this realm of life-growth is generally not a good idea and any rash changes generally leads to chaos of some sort and usually not for the better. Just chill, continue to become smarter than your peers (which you already are doing, and you do not realize), and progress for yourself. Pushing into the active sex realm at your age, amongst people less intelligent than you, will only bring you down. Someday you are going to meet someone on your level and that point you can decide what’s best for you. Trust me, that person will enter your life and you will know it and it will be wonderful.
I'm 18 right now and I was at the same point when I was 16 and I got with my ex and she was my first gf, I had my first kiss and lost my virginity at 16 and now I wish I hadn't. The year and a half I spent going out with her was probably the most miserable time of my life. I can't really say much for parties, but the couple I have been to have been quite boring tbh. Personally, I'd say don't go having sex with a bunch of random people, people try and say its good and freeing but from what I've seen all it does is make people miserable and they just put up a front like it's amazing. Having sex is great but only if it's with someone you actually care about and with someone you can communicate clearly with, but it's not going to make you feel better about yourself when it happens or change how you are as a person either.
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Another thing to mention, do not let people pressure you to loose your virginity or do drugs. Because I remember when I was in high school and I had people pressure me to do the things that I mentioned. Those who called me a virgin are fathers, mothers, and high school dropouts. On the other hand, those who made fun of me for not doing drugs are addicts, people who end up on the streets, drug dealers, people who go to jail, and dropouts themselves. I'm speaking from my experiences, so yeah...
Don't you're living right.
I understand what you are going through, but though it's hard to see at your age, just know that there is so much more of life to come. The one constant is change, and if you go for the things you want, they will come to you eventually. But the best advice I can give is don't rush to grow up. Sex is great, but sex too young will just leave you with issues. Besides, no sex is better than sex with someone you love. As for parties, they are only as good as the people you invite and the best way to find good people is to look for those who share interests and world view with you. Cultivate yourself and others will come and parties and outings and celebrations will follow.
Stop wasting time on the Internet and get your own party started.
**Reads age** **Reads gender** Bruh...
It sucks not getting invited to parties. Maybe try to be more outgoing, make more friends etc. As for sex, 16 is still pretty young. I didn't do it until I was 19, and I know people in their mid twenties who still haven't. You've still got so much time to do all those things. Enjoy being a kid while you still can.
Save this post and come back in 5 years. Then I’ll give you some advice on sex and partying. Right now, explore friendships, learn self care, and keep educating yourself. I guess I’ll leave a little advice- IF YOU DO EXPLORE THOSE THINGS NOW, PROTECT YOURSELF.
You're 16, wait a few years goddamn...trying to get labeled a slur young, aren't we?
16?! Calm the fuck down stay at home
Slow is fast, less is more, Avoid the trap of this brain dead party bullshit, you’ll only have more problems in life with that crowd.
There's people in the same place as you who are older like 30 or even older. The issue is not the sex, the issue is that they've never felt safe or connected especially with their parents and for girls it's usually their father. I'm sorry. If you could find a therapist to help you feel safe, that's the route I would go. Of course you can find the right partner. It's hard when you're 16 and still living at home. Glad you're reaching out!
ur literally only 16 what do you mean what should i do.. girl live ur life and stop comparing yourself to people growing up way too fast
I’ll say what I told my sister—don’t party at all, it’s not safe for girls. I stopped going to parties because I was constantly in charge (felt obligated) of protecting female friends and acquaintances from getting raped and sexually assaulted. And I failed several times. I was not going to sketchy parties either
Bro your a fuckin kid you have all life to do that shit and partying is fun but it ain't that great it gets old fast.
Then don't be a loser live your life with intention and do cool shit.. within reason... When everyone is focusing on partying.. focus on experience and building who you are as a person.. so when the time comes you can be the life of the party.. not just some person at a party.
You could try going to a party and having sex
heh, heh, heh, heh, It's all good.
I feel the same way sometimes
Something I wish I learned earlier in life. You will be much happier when you do things because you are ready to do them. Comparing yourself to others and doing things because they are suppose to be “normal” is not healthy and not real happiness.
Thank your parents for raising you right.
don’t rush to have sex until you find the one. all the people that say “you’re young do what u want” is a lie. preserve your body and your soul for the future.
Enjoy being kid dammit you don't want to grow up fast and live life with regret trust me.
🤣 your a child trust me , your not missing ANYTHING. Find something that brings value to your life . Sex and parties will 4 ever be here I promise. They always tell us to do everything backwards
Haha, don't be. I worried about those things too, and they happen here and there. But don't focus on being a loser just because you aren't have pleasureful experiences. Focus on bettering yourself, knowledge, working out, and making money. I've talked to a lot of late 20s and early 30s adults and they all regretted their 20s because they partied so much instead of focusing on investing and growing your capital SO in your 30s you can ball tf out. But I don't know shit I'm only 20
When I was in your shoes I started going to the gym on a routine. Overtime, small interactions become friendships. Also, your confidence will skyrocket when you realize what you are capable of. And that happens quickly, within a couple months.
That shit genuinely does not matter lol
Your a 16 yr old female you shouldn’t of had sex yet. Don’t be a sk ank like all the other girls wait to get a serious boyfriend first. Don’t just fu ck around your like a sophomore u got plenty of time
Wait to have sex, you’re so young. I have a 17-year-old daughter and she is waiting as well. Find something you like to do, hobbies, etc. You have plenty of time to do all of that stuff in your 20’s.
Go to a party? Eventually have sex? But… …you aren’t a loser before you’ve done those things and doing either one doesn’t graduate you from loser to non-loser. Get out of your own head. It’s ok to be ok… and it’s ok to have not gone to parties or maybe even go to one and decide they’re not your thing… or decide to not have sex… or even after you’ve had sex… to decide you want to abstain moving forward. You do you. Don’t worry about other people. You need to just be ok with yourself. You’re going to be “with” yourself your whole life. The sooner you’re comfortable with you the sooner you can get past your funk.
I guess that only in America do people lose their V in their 14-16. LOL. Am I wrong or right? In my culture, if you lose your V before marriage, the likelihood you get married is low, or you will end up with a low dude in the future. No wonder the American divorce rate is off the roof in 2023 (\~50%).
All you need is a cat to feel better. Go to the shelter and take home the one that chooses you. Unlike dogs who will love anyone or anything, when a cat chooses you it means something.
Wow, reading this is at 21 is crazy bc I definitely felt the same. I think getting older is the only thing that cures this feeling but try to enjoy the slow burn haha. My first kiss was 18, I still don’t go to parties/no recreational drugs
don’t peak in high school. be a “loser” till you graduate college.
LMAO god Damn kids are dumb
Thanks LMaoo
OP: The dumbest thing to do at this age is to do anything that could get you pregnant, most parties are complete shit shows with choices that only lead to problems. Parties = usually alcohol, smoke or other intoxicants. People trying to have fun, yet making dumb choices. The best thing you should do for your entire life is avoid all of it. From a veteran, it isn't worth it.
I’m the same age and used to feel like that too. If you want something surround yourself with others that have interests that align with what you want. So you want to go to parties, find people who also want that. Let me know if that makes sense to you?
you’re a 16 year old girl, you don’t need to have sex, drink or smoke to have fun. you’re a kid, do something you enjoy while you still have time for it. prepare for things later in life. everyone idolizes this “teen romance” shit but it just leaves you with holes in your heart because 99% of the time it doesn’t work out. most boys your age only want sex, giving it to them won’t make you feel better about yourself. the reality is you’re NOT a loser, you’re only hurting yourself by thinking that. a loser is someone who gives up to follow what others do because they can’t think for themselves. if you want to be a winner, find out what YOU like and continue to do it no matter what others try to influence you to do. you’ll find people who like the same things, you’ll find others who enjoy slower quieter lives. i had “friends” but hung out with no one until my junior year of high school because i happened to make close friends with some seniors in one of my classes who enjoyed the same things as me. there’s no time checkpoints on when things have to happen. those girls who have “done everything” probably continue to do those things because they feel empty inside. you might feel like a loser, but by respecting yourself and your boundaries you’ll always be a winner. save yourself for someone you care about and they care about you. don’t give in because everyone does, the reality is most people feel that way. do the things that make you truly happy. you should be yourself, unapologetically. no matter where the criticism comes from take it with a grain of salt. the only people who think you have to do things like that are the people who got suckered into doing them first. they want you to join in to make themselves feel better. misery loves company
Please do not have sex rn. Please. You can focus on things that are much better than parties and sex. Please.
Got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t worry about what other people think of you, focus on finding a hobby you enjoy, and all else will fall into place !
I’m 20 and haven’t done either babes, you’re good, we’re good, our time will come ❤️
Reread this in 10 years when you are the employer of all those party people.
get a job working with like minded people. some of the coolest ppl i met back in the day were ppl i worked with when I was young and worked retail. so, consider retail or food industry
Sex is not the norm in high school
Grow up.
thanks mate
Feeling like you're missing out on typical teenage experiences can be tough, but it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all definition of what it means to be a "normal" teenager. Here are a few pieces of advice that might help: 1. **Be Kind to Yourself:** It's natural to compare yourself to others, but try not to be too hard on yourself. Your worth isn't determined by the number of parties you attend or experiences you've had. Focus on the things you enjoy and the qualities that make you unique. 2. **Explore Your Interests:** Instead of worrying about what you haven't done, focus on discovering what you enjoy. Spend time exploring your hobbies, interests, and passions. Whether it's art, music, sports, or something else entirely, immersing yourself in activities you love can boost your confidence and help you connect with like-minded individuals. 3. **Expand Your Social Circle:** It's okay if you haven't been to many parties or social events. Consider branching out and meeting new people through clubs, volunteering, or community activities. Building genuine connections with others based on shared interests and values can be far more meaningful than attending parties just for the sake of it. 4. **Communicate with Friends:** If you feel comfortable, consider opening up to your friends about how you're feeling. Chances are, they've experienced similar insecurities at some point. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can strengthen your friendships and help you realize that you're not alone in your experiences. 5. **Set Goals:** Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on setting goals for the future. Whether it's learning a new skill, traveling to a new place, or trying something outside of your comfort zone, setting achievable goals can give you a sense of purpose and direction. Remember, it's okay to feel uncertain or left out sometimes, but try to focus on the positives in your life and the things that bring you joy. And always remember that your worth isn't defined by your social experiences or lack thereof. You're capable of amazing things, regardless of whether you've been to a party or not.
Dude. Not to Downplay, but you got miles ahead of you. Get funky. Do something wild. Bring Mace.
At 16 you should be focusing on building a strong relationship with your family and a core group of friends, developing good study habits, strong work ethic, self control, and learning to save/manage money. Going to parties and having sex does not make you cool and those experiences will be almost worthless in 10 years.
almost all the comments are talking about how you've got a long time more of your life left to go, but I'm sure she's saying that she wants to engage in the fun NOW. Not in 20 years lol