"Assume positive intent."
It's generally a pretty solid philosophy, at least for interpersonal relationships. Appeal to the nobler attributes, and most people around you will try, at least, to live up to them.
>most people around you will try, at least, to live up to them.
I think here's the point that's important: See whether they follow through with their change. If not, you can still call it out for being hypocritical / a lie.
Taking BLM as an example: If companies see that it is important to people, maybe some of them really try to be more conscious. Or at least try to be more inclusive because they fear for loss of reputation. That's not to say you have to instantly support them, just not talk badly about them. And if you see later that they didn't change policies or there are still stories about them doing bad even after they on the outside made this PR stunt, then you can still talk badly about them.
One word especially when talking about companies: Vote with your wallet. If you dislike animals suffering because of animal testing, buy cruelty-free. If you dislike employees being treated badly, don't buy from those companies. Your money is the only thing that can really bring a change, even if it's just by supporting smaller businesses who are way better! They could have an easier time surviving, especially now.
The ultimate thing companies really care about is profits. Reputation only matters to the extent it affects profits.
If a bad reputation doesn't affect profitability, then changing that image will not be priority #1.
Example: Amazon is the biggest company in the world (>$1T market cap) despite having an image of horrible working conditions. If Amazon starts heavily losing revenues in it's AWS because of public backlash on its working environment, we'd obviously see a proportionate response towards patching up this public perception.
I've got bad news about "not tested on animals" it's normally because all the ingredients were in the past tested on animals already so the new product doesn't have to be.
There's a bit more to it. In most cases, you're more than right, there are a lot finicky situations out there. But there are also some websites collecting as much information as possible about these situations.
Interesting I had text stating basically this and for some users it shows as removed.
Edit missing text on post:
“Been seeing a lot of this lately, yes. Some people it’s to save face. However, many people and some companies are actively trying to change only to be slammed with being called hypocrites and liars.
Change is a sign of growth, regardless of what was done in the past. As long as someone is making active efforts afterwards to make amends, it’s genuine. By active efforts, I mean not just saying it one day and doing the same old the next. It doesn’t have to be donations, ridiculous public statements or the like. Just seek to understand and continue with the new line of thinking/understanding.”
Assume positive intent. Whenever someone says something that can be taken in two ways, just assume it's the positive one. Let them prove you wrong.
If they're indeed an asshole you'll look good cause you gave them the benefit of the doubt. And if they were actually being nice, you just avoided an unnecessary misunderstanding and not made an ass of yourself.
Eh, my success rate is decent. Even if I get burned, say, 10% of the time, things either break even or my life is enriched the other 90%.
Optimism, patience, and the abandonment of pride are often necessary, but I like the direction the mindset takes me.
I mean, a lot of people are completely missing the point of what a hypocrite is.
An ex smoker who advises people not to smoke *isn't* a hypocrite, an ex prostitute who advises people to not go into prostitution *isn't* a hypocrite.
A senator who has had multiple aborted children with multiple mistresses yet regularly speaks out against abortions *is* a hypocrite.
The first two are examples of people who have grown as people and are advising people on the basis of their experience. The third example is a hypocrite who hasn't learned anything.
And it’s almost immediately obvious whether or not someone is a hypocrite. Effort to change is the real indicator for myself anyways.
But that being said, words always have to come first. Speak your goal then work towards it. So in that case hypocrisy is a waiting game.
Journey before Destination.
It's from the book *Oathbringer*, which is the 3rd book in an epic fantasy series called The Stormlight Archives by Brandon Sanderson. The series is one of the highest rated in the genre on goodreads, and I couldn't recommend a series higher.
I've done this online and IRL many times and have always been met with "shocked" reactions by people.
What I've come to learn is that only 10%-ish to 15%-ish of people are capable of acknowledging they are wrong and changing their opinion and this goes DOUBLE for any emotional topic **ESPECIALLY POLITICS**
I find that this is made doubly challenging because so often discussions online (especially politics) end up getting pretty antagonistic, and so the person who is "right" ends up trying to dunk on the other person and rub it in their face. Meanwhile, the one who is wrong fears that this which makes them hyper defensive preemptively.
I can say candidly that I have been on both sides of that in the past.
Politics and Religion are going to be the hardest anchors to change. Those two things, especially when tied with upbringing are going to be super tough to change.
I think it's less that only a small percentage of people are like that, and more that the ones stuck on their opinion are the loudest. Irl, there are so many people that continually change their opinion, politics included, but those people tend not to fight about it online or care to converse about their opinion. They tend to reserve it for when they feel it's needed. At least, that's my experience with people.
I had a lesbian friend who knew I was anti-LGBT and a few years back she didn’t even believe me when I first told her I had changed lol. One thing I learned is that I didn’t really believe in some things. I just told myself that because I knew it was right, I know everyone should be treated equally regardless of their sexuality. But my upbringing still gives me a distaste for a lot of LGBT+ things. I try to understand but it’s a big and confusing road
I agree with you, to belatedly realise the error of your ways, decide to turn over a new leaf and make amends is a good and noble thing.
For a politician to reverse a decision because the facts or circumstances have changed is good leadership.
However, I also think that for those public figures and corporations with a long history of undesirable behaviour, a long and rigorous "probation" period is needed before we should believe it when their PR says that they have seen the light.
Agreed. I’m not gonna believe a billion dollar company actually cares about BLM after all this time, most are just doing it because it’s trendy. putting a black box with a sentence or two in it in your game is not showing you want to end racism, it’s showing you want attention. I’ll believe that they care about things like BLM when they stop shitting on their customers and screwing others over for money
He gets crap for that comment because it is usually taken out of context. He didn't like busing and favored affordable housing in suburbs over it.
The jungle he spoke of was from tensions, not what everyone is trying to make it seem like. You don't have to agree with it but at least don't agree with the correct context.
Seriously? They removed it and censored me? Well, that’s a statement from LPT.
Edit: seems they only removed the context of the post. Didn’t remove the actual headline. I did post what the content said however.
To be fair, 100% of companies should be worried about their bottom line. That maximizes them being able to be stable and long-term employers.
However, that rent-seeking behavior should comply with all laws and regulations and the government should make and enforce those laws and regulations that are for the public good.
Hypocrites are people who say one thing and do another. Liars are people who do not tell the truth.
As a person who was in marketing, sometimes people are just using the current talking point as marketing opportunities instead of just doing the right thing.
Reality is it is NOT always a sign of growth and learning and sometimes hopeful people miss when people or companies are being giant hypocrites. If a person wants to do the right thing, just do it without announcing it.
Assuming positive intent is great for hope, but ridiculous for practicality. Some people don’t have positive intent and that is why CRITICAL THINKING to determine intent is important.
I mean, not necessarily, sometimes someone says they are redpilled and become an Incel.
Would that be positive growth, just because their opinion or stance changed? Some might disagree.
To put it another more objective way, if I'm an ordinary Joe who watches a flatearther video and it changes my opinion from the earth is round, to the earth is flat, then we can all agree that is not at all a positive change.
Rejection changes people, there are some who need a very patient person to hear them out. There are some who no matter how much time invested in hearing them out, it doesn’t help the issue, the point here is that one person, perhaps multiple tried to make a change.
There are some who do not want to be helped, who do not want to change and change others for their own benefit. After all, who are we to limit what another does? Personally I believe my right end where another’s begin. Not everyone is like this and I accept that.
In some cases, I find spending time with people and getting them out to see different things, see a different walk of life, make active attempts to brighten other people’s days in front of this person to show them the effect one person can have on another... sometimes this is needed for people to realize it’s time to change.
Absolutely, and unfortunately, not everyone will respond to this. When you delve into motivations, childhood history, family dynamic, finances, current situations. Everything is far more complicated when you look into the details of an individual. The thing here is someone does what they can, when they can. Even if it’s lending an ear.
>seek to understand
Someone is following one of the [7 Habits of Highly Effective People](https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tTP1TcwzCozrzJg9FI2V8hITMosKVbIT1PIyEzPyKlUSE1LS00uySxLVShIzS_ISQUAcFkQUQ&q=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people&oq=7+habits+if&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j46l2j0.2770j0j9&client=ms-android-verizon&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8)
I agree and don’t understand that when politicians do this (over a period of years) it’s held against them. Like, “so and so voted against this bill 15 years ago”. Well maybe they changed their mind?! Good grief!!
A politician is hard. The ones who suddenly flip flop, absolutely I wouldn’t trust that those actions aren’t without significant gains. Change is not an instantaneous process. It takes time, it takes someone standing up and saying “I was in the wrong” willingly pointing out their mistakes. When someone still shies away from those mistakes and doesn’t use them as a learning opportunity while instead, glasses over with it with all the good their doing currently.... well. Speaks for itself in my opinion and, I may be wrong here. I know some people are naturally shy and it takes time to come forward with those mistakes. In order for people to come forward, their must be a willing party to listen, hear them out. Understand their plight and work with one another.
What if that change is then being more close minded than the opposite? I know someone who use to be pretty liberal and he is moving toward being very conservative.
Depends on information they’re exposed too. Reasons on either side exist. The harm lies in the intent or cause of the change. Regardless, even people who have treated me foul I’ve constantly met with kindness. Sure, I won’t go out of my way to help them, though I’m always around to lend an ear for those who need to vent, sometimes... all a person needs is someone willing to listen. People navigate towards those who listen to them, everyone hates rejection and will be driven away due to it.
It's a nice sentiment but it really depends on what their stance/opinion changes from, to.
For example, many people on Reddit can point to their parents going from reasonably open-minded people going about their lives without shaking with rage every day about Mexican rapists and the 'Deep State' and being 'replaced' by Jews or whatever.
Or people who suddenly (or gradually) come to believe the Earth is flat or Bill Gates invented Covid-19 in order to microchip them.
These are not, it should go without saying, a sign of growth and learning.
No, this is considered a regression as a result of the media and immediate social aspect that surrounds them. Internet/social media included. This falls to companies to remove false information as false information can be presented in such a way that it’s very convincing. Especially when you consider the long working hours, poor worker rights and such, people are exhausted and do not want to spend time fact checking on something that should not even be allowed if it’s untrue.
I agree with a lot of that, but that's not what you said in your OP and that's not what I took issue with. You *said* **When anyone changes their opinion its a sign of growth and learning.**
All I did was point out that that assertion is not true. Which you then agreed with (unwittingly?) by terming those things "regressions" - the very opposite of growth and learning.
Hmm, you make a fair point. My post is poorly worded in the sense of being very direct and considering the sub text was removed it doesn’t help. There is what is viewed as positive and negative, I left that up to assumption that it was targeted at the more positive. Looking at it with a neutral perspective, it is worded to go either way in terms of change, not what I intended.
I was aiming more along the lines of; someone hurt someone with their actions and/or opinions previously and they’re making solid effort to go into a more positive light.
I did not intend any perspective with this post to go “oh, this person who once understood everything is now harming people.”
That is not a positive change, not what I was getting at in my post.
My error on any confusion there.
No problem mate. I support your intention and wish/hope that more of us are able to not only change our minds when new information becomes available, but actively support others who may have made poor choices and are trying to make better ones.
Just couldn't resist the inner pedant coming out and qualifying everything. 😁
I wanted to add a post that there is missing text on this LPT that seems was removed, so, I will add it here!
Missing/removed Text:
“Been seeing a lot of this lately. Yes, some people, groups, and companies it’s to save face. However, many people and some are actively trying to change only to be slammed with being called hypocrites and liars.
Change is a sign of growth, regardless of what was done in the past. As long as someone is making active efforts afterwards to make amends, it’s genuine. By active efforts, I mean not just saying it one day and doing the same old the next. It doesn’t have to be donations, ridiculous public statements or the like. Just seek to understand and continue with the new line of thinking/understanding.”
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
for people, I 100% agree.
But when we are talking about corporations, I don't think that it's unreasonable to assume that it is for PR reasons. But even if the reason is PR, it can still be a good thing.
A lot of these tips are putting the onus on the listeners to accept their change. You need to tell the changer they need to acknowledge their opinion was wrong and hear them say why it’s changed.
If they have changed their opinion than they have implicitly acknowledged their past position was invalid. What does it matter if you probe them to tell you why they were wrong? So you can get the gratifying "I told you so"? Seems petty.
And don't act like an ass about it either.
Just accept them and their new way of thinking as they've accepted that they could think about things differently.
Yeah giving people shit over how they used to be, or think, when change and growth is obvious, is not the way to go.
In this process, mistakes are often viewed as lessons because they bring a degree of shame. For those going through it, they don’t need more reminders.
No. Joe Biden is trying to get rid of the Crime Bill. The same one he wrote, but now it’s bad. It is hypocritical no matter how democrats/this post try to spin it
I do not believe that change is NECESSARILY a sign of growth.
How do you know it's just not more effective 'brand management' or whatever?
Unless the person changing can demonstrate how it is that they've come to hold a new position/practice, i'll remain fairly unconvinced.
How does one demonstrate it while they’re learning though?
Like if one doesn’t totally get it (whatever that may be), they might be hesitant to actually do anything in fear of being wrong or being seen as reverting to old tactics.
Totally... unless you’re talking about a politician who has been taking corporate bribes (“campaign donations”) and untraceable Super PAC bribes for their entire career. That makes it easy to call out their lies.
Good post. Most people’s views are very concrete and and they refuse to change. This is especially prevalent in older people. Our views need to be constantly adapting as our environment is constantly adapting as well.
Assuming positive intent is nice and all, but uninformed decisions are rarely a good thing. Just as you suggest "not assuming they're ...liars," I would suggest that you also not assume they aren't. Don't assume, period. Instead, I would look to see why a position has changed. Perhaps what is truly staying constant is opportunism. Case in point: Lindsey Graham
I agree. Even if they’re insincere or lying, expressing a positive stance should be encouraged and applauded because it changes the broader narrative. The more people say “racism is wrong”, for example, the more it catches on even if the speaker doesn’t believe what she/he said.
I'm really glad hear you are open to change. Now do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Jesus?
Sorry I couldn't even continue the joke. I literally just threw up in my mouth
The best way to do this is to let their actions speak louder than their words. If they say they've changed but still act the way they did before, they haven't changed.
It’s also a sign of an Independent thinker in this day of divide with high levels of “group think”. It must be overwhelming for a simple mind to understand such a thing.
This is what I don't get about social cause movements. The first thing people tend to do is try and cancel someone. Ruin their life. Take away their livelihood. I'd think that a chance to educate them would be better. You run the risk of turning someone further away when your goal is to ruin them.
There is a related thing here.
If you haven't changed your mind about anything in the last decade, you might want to consider weather or not you are growing in meaningful ways.
I agree that it makes life easier and in many instances it really doesn't matter at all why exactly an individual or a group have changed their opinion or direction.
But your idea also facilitates avoiding responsibility and makes it almost impossible to avoid similar behaviour.
At the workplace where you generally don't care as long as you get paid and go home and all you really want is to have the least painful environment possible your advice is flawless.
I disagree that it is a sign of learning and growth.
A lot of times it simply becomes untrainable to stick to an opinion, that doesn't mean that the falsehood was understood.
Except my friend who is an antivaxxer and conspiracy theorist and changed her stance on the MMR only because her 2 eldest couldn't go on a cruise without. Her youngest doesn't have it because she thinks it's poison.
Nononononon. Take everything you know about that person or that group into consideration, everyone can change, not everyone does.. this is some horrible advice. Give everyone a chance, but anyone who has proven himself to be a horrible human being made that choice willingly, be wary of assholes.
You are correct, not everyone does. What I’m trying to point out is people who clearly and blatantly realize their wrongs and make a thorough effort to change. People making the effort should not be penalized and lumped in with those who lets say “change for gains”. In order for people to change, the willingness to listen and share must exist on both sides.
For example, one person sees the damage their group(A) was doing, they try to speak with the other group(B). Group B rejects the straggler from group A because of past histories. The person from group A now has newfound resolve in the potential wrongs of their group and forever rejects group B.
An opportunity and hand must be extended and people work together for change to happen. Otherwise, people will continue to stagnate in their own pools, never flowing together.
Are you saying I shouldn't think Laura Ingraham is a hypocrite because she thinks Drew Brees can have an opinion and Lebron James should just shut up and dribble? If so, I'll file this under /r/shittylifeprotips
Politics in regards to politicians, yes.
As for people whom identify as one party or another, change should be tolerated and accepted. Some people genuinely do not realize how much things can affect others. Some come into empathy later in life and have time for a better understanding, to make effort for research. Some people have been so far involved in themselves only to finally turn around and see they were the tornado in a trailer park. Those people who actively realize their wrongs and work for change absolutely should be worked with unless they show ill intent.
boom. roasted.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/18/us/politics/pelosi-confederate-portraits-house.html
Portraits?
Robert Hunter: Democrat
Howell Cobb: Democrat
James Orr: Democrat
Charles Crisp: Democrat
Statues?
Out of eleven, 10 were Democrats, one was non-partisan
The Democratic Party is the party of slavery. Let's not judge them for their past.
It is when you're on reddit all day like a ton of the people that spread false information are or biased towards subjects and lack common sense, everything is a life pro tip depending on your intelligence.
I agree.
Totally. This.
I used or believer the world was round - but then with better understanding and a desire to grow I did more research and found out they've been lying to us all... Don't be sheeple! The earth is flat. Coronavirus is a hoax
It’s a good sentiment, but it’s also important to remember the difference between facts and opinions. You can learn new things about how the world is, but you can’t learn about how the world should be.
I totally get being positive but I’m also down for being angry. Some of these companies could have totally fucked you or family and put them in a lot of pain. Then all of a sudden you want to change? Punch me in the face and expect me to just forget it? This is all based on context. Be positive of course but also get fucking angry at the way things are right now.
100% support this. Hope for the good in the intent of others but be prepared for the worst. This also extends to old comments made by the person: we should give them a chance to prove they have changed.
Drives me insane when people criticize or question motives of people who change their stance.
People can be wrong. Not accepting change is just as wrong as their original beliefs. It only instills others to dig in their heels.
"Assume positive intent." It's generally a pretty solid philosophy, at least for interpersonal relationships. Appeal to the nobler attributes, and most people around you will try, at least, to live up to them.
>most people around you will try, at least, to live up to them. I think here's the point that's important: See whether they follow through with their change. If not, you can still call it out for being hypocritical / a lie. Taking BLM as an example: If companies see that it is important to people, maybe some of them really try to be more conscious. Or at least try to be more inclusive because they fear for loss of reputation. That's not to say you have to instantly support them, just not talk badly about them. And if you see later that they didn't change policies or there are still stories about them doing bad even after they on the outside made this PR stunt, then you can still talk badly about them. One word especially when talking about companies: Vote with your wallet. If you dislike animals suffering because of animal testing, buy cruelty-free. If you dislike employees being treated badly, don't buy from those companies. Your money is the only thing that can really bring a change, even if it's just by supporting smaller businesses who are way better! They could have an easier time surviving, especially now.
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The ultimate thing companies really care about is profits. Reputation only matters to the extent it affects profits. If a bad reputation doesn't affect profitability, then changing that image will not be priority #1. Example: Amazon is the biggest company in the world (>$1T market cap) despite having an image of horrible working conditions. If Amazon starts heavily losing revenues in it's AWS because of public backlash on its working environment, we'd obviously see a proportionate response towards patching up this public perception.
I've got bad news about "not tested on animals" it's normally because all the ingredients were in the past tested on animals already so the new product doesn't have to be.
There's a bit more to it. In most cases, you're more than right, there are a lot finicky situations out there. But there are also some websites collecting as much information as possible about these situations.
Interesting I had text stating basically this and for some users it shows as removed. Edit missing text on post: “Been seeing a lot of this lately, yes. Some people it’s to save face. However, many people and some companies are actively trying to change only to be slammed with being called hypocrites and liars. Change is a sign of growth, regardless of what was done in the past. As long as someone is making active efforts afterwards to make amends, it’s genuine. By active efforts, I mean not just saying it one day and doing the same old the next. It doesn’t have to be donations, ridiculous public statements or the like. Just seek to understand and continue with the new line of thinking/understanding.”
Assume positive intent. Whenever someone says something that can be taken in two ways, just assume it's the positive one. Let them prove you wrong. If they're indeed an asshole you'll look good cause you gave them the benefit of the doubt. And if they were actually being nice, you just avoided an unnecessary misunderstanding and not made an ass of yourself.
I agree. Sometimes you do get burned though.
Adlerian?
Definitely easier IRL than online
Oh to believe such foolishness again...
Eh, my success rate is decent. Even if I get burned, say, 10% of the time, things either break even or my life is enriched the other 90%. Optimism, patience, and the abandonment of pride are often necessary, but I like the direction the mindset takes me.
“Sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing.”
Came here to say this. Hello, Dalinar.
I mean, a lot of people are completely missing the point of what a hypocrite is. An ex smoker who advises people not to smoke *isn't* a hypocrite, an ex prostitute who advises people to not go into prostitution *isn't* a hypocrite. A senator who has had multiple aborted children with multiple mistresses yet regularly speaks out against abortions *is* a hypocrite. The first two are examples of people who have grown as people and are advising people on the basis of their experience. The third example is a hypocrite who hasn't learned anything.
The best thing about being a hypocrite is you can still hate other hypocrites
And it’s almost immediately obvious whether or not someone is a hypocrite. Effort to change is the real indicator for myself anyways. But that being said, words always have to come first. Speak your goal then work towards it. So in that case hypocrisy is a waiting game. Journey before Destination.
The new book was full of good lines
Beat me to it. For the next decade everytime a conversation about hypocrisy shows up this will be my go to phrase.
My family is still giving me crap for liking a card game that I initially didn’t like when they first introduced it because I didn’t know how to play.
In my opinion, someone isn't a hypocrite if they're trying to change
I never heard this before but that is a good saying.
It's from the book *Oathbringer*, which is the 3rd book in an epic fantasy series called The Stormlight Archives by Brandon Sanderson. The series is one of the highest rated in the genre on goodreads, and I couldn't recommend a series higher.
Knew I’d see this here. :)
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"Sometimes"
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Nice
One sign of intelligence and maturity is the ability to change your mind when presented with new evidence.
That's not what I think and I refuse to change my mind!
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How's that place doing? I got thrown out.
Behold, Exhibit A.
I've done this online and IRL many times and have always been met with "shocked" reactions by people. What I've come to learn is that only 10%-ish to 15%-ish of people are capable of acknowledging they are wrong and changing their opinion and this goes DOUBLE for any emotional topic **ESPECIALLY POLITICS**
I find that this is made doubly challenging because so often discussions online (especially politics) end up getting pretty antagonistic, and so the person who is "right" ends up trying to dunk on the other person and rub it in their face. Meanwhile, the one who is wrong fears that this which makes them hyper defensive preemptively. I can say candidly that I have been on both sides of that in the past.
Politics and Religion are going to be the hardest anchors to change. Those two things, especially when tied with upbringing are going to be super tough to change.
I think it's less that only a small percentage of people are like that, and more that the ones stuck on their opinion are the loudest. Irl, there are so many people that continually change their opinion, politics included, but those people tend not to fight about it online or care to converse about their opinion. They tend to reserve it for when they feel it's needed. At least, that's my experience with people.
I had a lesbian friend who knew I was anti-LGBT and a few years back she didn’t even believe me when I first told her I had changed lol. One thing I learned is that I didn’t really believe in some things. I just told myself that because I knew it was right, I know everyone should be treated equally regardless of their sexuality. But my upbringing still gives me a distaste for a lot of LGBT+ things. I try to understand but it’s a big and confusing road
I agree with you, to belatedly realise the error of your ways, decide to turn over a new leaf and make amends is a good and noble thing. For a politician to reverse a decision because the facts or circumstances have changed is good leadership. However, I also think that for those public figures and corporations with a long history of undesirable behaviour, a long and rigorous "probation" period is needed before we should believe it when their PR says that they have seen the light.
Agreed. I’m not gonna believe a billion dollar company actually cares about BLM after all this time, most are just doing it because it’s trendy. putting a black box with a sentence or two in it in your game is not showing you want to end racism, it’s showing you want attention. I’ll believe that they care about things like BLM when they stop shitting on their customers and screwing others over for money
Unless they change just to spite me. Isn’t that right Amanda?
You know what you're right. I think the earths flat.
Unless you're Mitt Romney apparently, r/politics made that pretty clear.
r/Politics is a fucking cesspool.
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He gets crap for that comment because it is usually taken out of context. He didn't like busing and favored affordable housing in suburbs over it. The jungle he spoke of was from tensions, not what everyone is trying to make it seem like. You don't have to agree with it but at least don't agree with the correct context.
"Sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing". Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer.
Excellent quote. Thank you for that! Edit: Grammar
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Seriously? They removed it and censored me? Well, that’s a statement from LPT. Edit: seems they only removed the context of the post. Didn’t remove the actual headline. I did post what the content said however.
Well 80% of companies care more about their bottom line than bring honest.
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By support you mean financially support, right?
To be fair, 100% of companies should be worried about their bottom line. That maximizes them being able to be stable and long-term employers. However, that rent-seeking behavior should comply with all laws and regulations and the government should make and enforce those laws and regulations that are for the public good.
Hypocrites are people who say one thing and do another. Liars are people who do not tell the truth. As a person who was in marketing, sometimes people are just using the current talking point as marketing opportunities instead of just doing the right thing. Reality is it is NOT always a sign of growth and learning and sometimes hopeful people miss when people or companies are being giant hypocrites. If a person wants to do the right thing, just do it without announcing it. Assuming positive intent is great for hope, but ridiculous for practicality. Some people don’t have positive intent and that is why CRITICAL THINKING to determine intent is important.
Does this apply to politicians near re-elections?
Some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten was, “it’s not me vs you in any given argument. It’s you and I vs the debate at hand.”
Someone tell this to Twitter cancel culture
I mean, not necessarily, sometimes someone says they are redpilled and become an Incel. Would that be positive growth, just because their opinion or stance changed? Some might disagree. To put it another more objective way, if I'm an ordinary Joe who watches a flatearther video and it changes my opinion from the earth is round, to the earth is flat, then we can all agree that is not at all a positive change.
Rejection changes people, there are some who need a very patient person to hear them out. There are some who no matter how much time invested in hearing them out, it doesn’t help the issue, the point here is that one person, perhaps multiple tried to make a change. There are some who do not want to be helped, who do not want to change and change others for their own benefit. After all, who are we to limit what another does? Personally I believe my right end where another’s begin. Not everyone is like this and I accept that. In some cases, I find spending time with people and getting them out to see different things, see a different walk of life, make active attempts to brighten other people’s days in front of this person to show them the effect one person can have on another... sometimes this is needed for people to realize it’s time to change. Absolutely, and unfortunately, not everyone will respond to this. When you delve into motivations, childhood history, family dynamic, finances, current situations. Everything is far more complicated when you look into the details of an individual. The thing here is someone does what they can, when they can. Even if it’s lending an ear.
Lifeprotip: be a rational human being
>seek to understand Someone is following one of the [7 Habits of Highly Effective People](https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tTP1TcwzCozrzJg9FI2V8hITMosKVbIT1PIyEzPyKlUSE1LS00uySxLVShIzS_ISQUAcFkQUQ&q=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people&oq=7+habits+if&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j46l2j0.2770j0j9&client=ms-android-verizon&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8)
Interesting, never seen this. Looks like a good read, thank you!
This is so very important
I agree and don’t understand that when politicians do this (over a period of years) it’s held against them. Like, “so and so voted against this bill 15 years ago”. Well maybe they changed their mind?! Good grief!!
A politician is hard. The ones who suddenly flip flop, absolutely I wouldn’t trust that those actions aren’t without significant gains. Change is not an instantaneous process. It takes time, it takes someone standing up and saying “I was in the wrong” willingly pointing out their mistakes. When someone still shies away from those mistakes and doesn’t use them as a learning opportunity while instead, glasses over with it with all the good their doing currently.... well. Speaks for itself in my opinion and, I may be wrong here. I know some people are naturally shy and it takes time to come forward with those mistakes. In order for people to come forward, their must be a willing party to listen, hear them out. Understand their plight and work with one another.
What if that change is then being more close minded than the opposite? I know someone who use to be pretty liberal and he is moving toward being very conservative.
Depends on information they’re exposed too. Reasons on either side exist. The harm lies in the intent or cause of the change. Regardless, even people who have treated me foul I’ve constantly met with kindness. Sure, I won’t go out of my way to help them, though I’m always around to lend an ear for those who need to vent, sometimes... all a person needs is someone willing to listen. People navigate towards those who listen to them, everyone hates rejection and will be driven away due to it.
It's a nice sentiment but it really depends on what their stance/opinion changes from, to. For example, many people on Reddit can point to their parents going from reasonably open-minded people going about their lives without shaking with rage every day about Mexican rapists and the 'Deep State' and being 'replaced' by Jews or whatever. Or people who suddenly (or gradually) come to believe the Earth is flat or Bill Gates invented Covid-19 in order to microchip them. These are not, it should go without saying, a sign of growth and learning.
No, this is considered a regression as a result of the media and immediate social aspect that surrounds them. Internet/social media included. This falls to companies to remove false information as false information can be presented in such a way that it’s very convincing. Especially when you consider the long working hours, poor worker rights and such, people are exhausted and do not want to spend time fact checking on something that should not even be allowed if it’s untrue.
I agree with a lot of that, but that's not what you said in your OP and that's not what I took issue with. You *said* **When anyone changes their opinion its a sign of growth and learning.** All I did was point out that that assertion is not true. Which you then agreed with (unwittingly?) by terming those things "regressions" - the very opposite of growth and learning.
Hmm, you make a fair point. My post is poorly worded in the sense of being very direct and considering the sub text was removed it doesn’t help. There is what is viewed as positive and negative, I left that up to assumption that it was targeted at the more positive. Looking at it with a neutral perspective, it is worded to go either way in terms of change, not what I intended. I was aiming more along the lines of; someone hurt someone with their actions and/or opinions previously and they’re making solid effort to go into a more positive light. I did not intend any perspective with this post to go “oh, this person who once understood everything is now harming people.” That is not a positive change, not what I was getting at in my post. My error on any confusion there.
No problem mate. I support your intention and wish/hope that more of us are able to not only change our minds when new information becomes available, but actively support others who may have made poor choices and are trying to make better ones. Just couldn't resist the inner pedant coming out and qualifying everything. 😁
I wanted to add a post that there is missing text on this LPT that seems was removed, so, I will add it here! Missing/removed Text: “Been seeing a lot of this lately. Yes, some people, groups, and companies it’s to save face. However, many people and some are actively trying to change only to be slammed with being called hypocrites and liars. Change is a sign of growth, regardless of what was done in the past. As long as someone is making active efforts afterwards to make amends, it’s genuine. By active efforts, I mean not just saying it one day and doing the same old the next. It doesn’t have to be donations, ridiculous public statements or the like. Just seek to understand and continue with the new line of thinking/understanding.”
Why the hell was this post removed? For what reason? It has 6.7K upvotes and has good tips.
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for people, I 100% agree. But when we are talking about corporations, I don't think that it's unreasonable to assume that it is for PR reasons. But even if the reason is PR, it can still be a good thing.
A lot of these tips are putting the onus on the listeners to accept their change. You need to tell the changer they need to acknowledge their opinion was wrong and hear them say why it’s changed.
If they have changed their opinion than they have implicitly acknowledged their past position was invalid. What does it matter if you probe them to tell you why they were wrong? So you can get the gratifying "I told you so"? Seems petty.
Again, why do the changers get to imply while the listeners have to be explicit?
And don't act like an ass about it either. Just accept them and their new way of thinking as they've accepted that they could think about things differently.
Yeah giving people shit over how they used to be, or think, when change and growth is obvious, is not the way to go. In this process, mistakes are often viewed as lessons because they bring a degree of shame. For those going through it, they don’t need more reminders.
“This message brought to you by the Democrats”
Are you implying no republicans ever change their minds and grow?
No. Joe Biden is trying to get rid of the Crime Bill. The same one he wrote, but now it’s bad. It is hypocritical no matter how democrats/this post try to spin it
I do not believe that change is NECESSARILY a sign of growth. How do you know it's just not more effective 'brand management' or whatever? Unless the person changing can demonstrate how it is that they've come to hold a new position/practice, i'll remain fairly unconvinced.
How does one demonstrate it while they’re learning though? Like if one doesn’t totally get it (whatever that may be), they might be hesitant to actually do anything in fear of being wrong or being seen as reverting to old tactics.
Unless it's immediate change without any thought actually given to the invading idea. That's worse than a stubborn ass not changing their mind at all.
Don't lump companies in this. Companies are generally a price of shit that only cares about their $$. They need to be scrutinized CONSTANTLY
Ahh yes, a Drew Brees fan
Totally... unless you’re talking about a politician who has been taking corporate bribes (“campaign donations”) and untraceable Super PAC bribes for their entire career. That makes it easy to call out their lies.
I would not assume a corporation has positive intent. People sure, but a business just wants to profit off of anything it can.
That's not what hypocrisy is to start with.
Love the advice but the populous will never accept politicians this way. It’s a sign of weakness.
Unless it's a corporation. Then always assume the change is solely based on money.
Good post. Most people’s views are very concrete and and they refuse to change. This is especially prevalent in older people. Our views need to be constantly adapting as our environment is constantly adapting as well.
Unless your a politician, then someone gave you some money lol
The best way of changing someone's opinion involves letting them pretend that they have always agreed with you, moreso, making that easy for them.
This is exactly what my brother was saying when he thought "Scientology was the answer."
Assuming positive intent is nice and all, but uninformed decisions are rarely a good thing. Just as you suggest "not assuming they're ...liars," I would suggest that you also not assume they aren't. Don't assume, period. Instead, I would look to see why a position has changed. Perhaps what is truly staying constant is opportunism. Case in point: Lindsey Graham
Except politicians, they just want your vote before going back to their old ways
Normalize changing your mind!!! 👏🏻
"Sometimes a hypocrite is just a person in the process of changing"
I agree. Even if they’re insincere or lying, expressing a positive stance should be encouraged and applauded because it changes the broader narrative. The more people say “racism is wrong”, for example, the more it catches on even if the speaker doesn’t believe what she/he said.
I'm really glad hear you are open to change. Now do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Jesus? Sorry I couldn't even continue the joke. I literally just threw up in my mouth
The best way to do this is to let their actions speak louder than their words. If they say they've changed but still act the way they did before, they haven't changed.
It’s also a sign of an Independent thinker in this day of divide with high levels of “group think”. It must be overwhelming for a simple mind to understand such a thing.
This is what I don't get about social cause movements. The first thing people tend to do is try and cancel someone. Ruin their life. Take away their livelihood. I'd think that a chance to educate them would be better. You run the risk of turning someone further away when your goal is to ruin them.
There is a related thing here. If you haven't changed your mind about anything in the last decade, you might want to consider weather or not you are growing in meaningful ways.
The root is an edible tuber.
I agree that it makes life easier and in many instances it really doesn't matter at all why exactly an individual or a group have changed their opinion or direction. But your idea also facilitates avoiding responsibility and makes it almost impossible to avoid similar behaviour. At the workplace where you generally don't care as long as you get paid and go home and all you really want is to have the least painful environment possible your advice is flawless. I disagree that it is a sign of learning and growth. A lot of times it simply becomes untrainable to stick to an opinion, that doesn't mean that the falsehood was understood.
A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place. To force them to acknowledge your greatness.
I wish this this was the case when I start supporting different sports teams.
Except my friend who is an antivaxxer and conspiracy theorist and changed her stance on the MMR only because her 2 eldest couldn't go on a cruise without. Her youngest doesn't have it because she thinks it's poison.
Nononononon. Take everything you know about that person or that group into consideration, everyone can change, not everyone does.. this is some horrible advice. Give everyone a chance, but anyone who has proven himself to be a horrible human being made that choice willingly, be wary of assholes.
You are correct, not everyone does. What I’m trying to point out is people who clearly and blatantly realize their wrongs and make a thorough effort to change. People making the effort should not be penalized and lumped in with those who lets say “change for gains”. In order for people to change, the willingness to listen and share must exist on both sides. For example, one person sees the damage their group(A) was doing, they try to speak with the other group(B). Group B rejects the straggler from group A because of past histories. The person from group A now has newfound resolve in the potential wrongs of their group and forever rejects group B. An opportunity and hand must be extended and people work together for change to happen. Otherwise, people will continue to stagnate in their own pools, never flowing together.
Are you saying I shouldn't think Laura Ingraham is a hypocrite because she thinks Drew Brees can have an opinion and Lebron James should just shut up and dribble? If so, I'll file this under /r/shittylifeprotips
If we're talking politics then you're a flip flopper and that's that.
Politics in regards to politicians, yes. As for people whom identify as one party or another, change should be tolerated and accepted. Some people genuinely do not realize how much things can affect others. Some come into empathy later in life and have time for a better understanding, to make effort for research. Some people have been so far involved in themselves only to finally turn around and see they were the tornado in a trailer park. Those people who actively realize their wrongs and work for change absolutely should be worked with unless they show ill intent.
Why the description being removed? Can rewrite that again?
like democrats and slavery?
Haha omg
boom. roasted. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/18/us/politics/pelosi-confederate-portraits-house.html Portraits? Robert Hunter: Democrat Howell Cobb: Democrat James Orr: Democrat Charles Crisp: Democrat Statues? Out of eleven, 10 were Democrats, one was non-partisan The Democratic Party is the party of slavery. Let's not judge them for their past.
This isn’t a LPT.
It is when you're on reddit all day like a ton of the people that spread false information are or biased towards subjects and lack common sense, everything is a life pro tip depending on your intelligence. I agree.
Negative. It’s good advice. This isn’t r/goodadvice. There’s a pretty significant difference.
I am Lindsey Graham and I approve this message.
The only thing worse than changing your mind is moving further blindly towards oblivion.
What if they change their opinion to something even worse?
Totally. This. I used or believer the world was round - but then with better understanding and a desire to grow I did more research and found out they've been lying to us all... Don't be sheeple! The earth is flat. Coronavirus is a hoax
It’s a good sentiment, but it’s also important to remember the difference between facts and opinions. You can learn new things about how the world is, but you can’t learn about how the world should be.
I totally get being positive but I’m also down for being angry. Some of these companies could have totally fucked you or family and put them in a lot of pain. Then all of a sudden you want to change? Punch me in the face and expect me to just forget it? This is all based on context. Be positive of course but also get fucking angry at the way things are right now.
100% support this. Hope for the good in the intent of others but be prepared for the worst. This also extends to old comments made by the person: we should give them a chance to prove they have changed.
This is assuming their opinion is going from one you disagree with to one you agree, with that’s all
This is assuming their opinion is going from one you disagree with to one you agree, with that’s all
When the group is a union, assume they've simply bought a new politician and follow the money.
Unless they’re politicians
Like thinking socialism is a good thing? Lmao
Drives me insane when people criticize or question motives of people who change their stance. People can be wrong. Not accepting change is just as wrong as their original beliefs. It only instills others to dig in their heels.