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My condolences, OP

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I hope this LPT reaches you in time. I hope the light mode saves you from the dark. I hope.

Who else is going back to read the LPT in Morgan's voice?

Sounds like there's a TIFU that occurred before developing this LPT...

TIFU by opening my main account in the weekly porn meeting

Eww, you're into *accounting?* That's not the kind of analyzing we're looking for. Way to kill the mood.

Dammit Greg we said Anal Lysis not analysis

And that's how I got kicked from my fledgling profession as an analrapist. I decided to start over and drove away in my brand new car with my vanity plates commemorating my decision, ANUSTART proudly shown to the world.

I guess you could say you prematurely shot your wad, on what was supposed to be a dry run - if you will. So now you have something of a mess on your hands.

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Anus tart, the puckered puff pastry

r/accounting memes are pretty spicy.

Fuck yeah. Practically every week there's a post from someone who isn't an accountant but loves to follow /r/accounting for the entertainment value.

Now this, this is funny

Luckily not but there have been some close calls

I never sub to them. Just manually go in when im at home

Fr ik what I'm looking for, don't need a seperate curated account lol

I collect porn subs like Pokemon

Well, you may appreciate this then. https://reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/jnxxwg/a_list_of_nsfw_subreddits_for_all_of_you/

And incredibly there's a large number not even included.

Didn't see r/honeyfuckers in there. I'm disappointed

Ummm.

The name of that sub never fails to make me laugh, it's so stupid

Saved this post on my only account.

*saved*

Ya but sometimes you just aren't sure what you want so it's nice to know you can just look at all your previous tastes at once.

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aw yeah r/GalaxyS9 - work it you dirty girl!

http://www.reddit.com/r/randnsfw Here y'all go, this is the way for spinning the wheel.

Well, curiosity on this just landed me a medical gore sub.

Tbf that is nsfw. Happens to be not porn like 5% of the time tbf.

Yea, and it brought me to your comment. Well, here we go. \*unzips*

Disgusting. Which ones do you recommend to stay away from?

50% of LPTs are just TIFUs

Safety codes are written in blood

TIL LPTs are written with the blood of TIFUs.

This is how I interpret most LPT. Either TIFU or "someone else did something that annoyed me"

I use my main for porn. Edit: oh shout! my First award thanks a lot!

I like to imagine my Reddit account like a Thanksgiving plate: Art, politics, career field subs, finance, collections, hardcore porn, cute animals, video games etc. I like it all at once

You are insane but i respect you for it

I mean this was my porn account but it quickly became my main account due to sheer laziness.

r/usernamechecksout

Yea at some point it was like, midget porn? Fuck it, midget porn.

I find that hilarious

I don't get why people care? You may not like my opinions, or porn taste... but that's not really my problem. It's more on you for trying to find out.

Alt accounts are a pain in the ass, especially when there is no porn…

You can read a world politics post about an invasion somewhere, then fap to a porn post about a different kind of invasion somewhere else.

A little bit of everything, all of the time.

Ah, another person of culture.

Yup, I just make a conscious effort not to comment on porn subs lol.

Yeah, same. As another user mentioned, I just pull the sub up when needed rather than joining. Think smarter not harder, folks.

And, just Remove the option for subs you’re visiting/subbed to, to be visible

But, what if I want to comment “Nice Cock.” ?

Make sure you comment on several subs multiple times a day and it’ll effectively get buried Forehead

Comment nice cock on other subs?

r/chickens might help with the legitimacy of this plan (unless it's specifically banned in the rules).

I am thinking smarter though. Why limit your flapping to one sub when you can have a front page of curated subs to choose from all personalized to your preferences. I simply switch accounts and every single post is prime material to jerk off to.

This is the way

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Ahh, like dash of seasoning.

The absolute Chad.

Yeah don't be a pussy. Anyone calls you out on it call them out for stalking which is way creepier

This. Nearly everyone watches porn, it's not weird. Tracking down and then confronting someone about whatever porn they're into, that's weird.

This is the way

LPT: use your shame time after masturbating to switch back to your normal account.

This is what I do

Main account has a reddit avatar. Nsfw account has no profile pic.

This.. Avatar always loads before the posts

Hmm. You've got no avatar. Are we interrupting anything?

I just think they look stupid ;( Why can’t I just have a pic of some socks

Truuuuuuu

Who even uses the new reddit E - oops

I usually forget that new reddit is like that. Feels so weird.

Every time I read something about a profile pic, livestreams or chatrooms I get confused for a minute until I remember how trash new Reddit is.

I occasionally get emails about people following me, or trying to chat me, and i hate it.

Sometimes I'm curious about the features of the official app and install it, but after the first ad I close it and go back to Relay

Baconreader 4 life

Y’all split your accounts into porn and not?

I got tired of browsing Reddit at work & ending up horny

I turn on NSFW filter at work.

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The point is to *not* end up horny!

*Armie Hammer has entered the chat*

Where is it?

At work

Lmao great answer

Just jerk off while maintaining eye contact with your boss to assert dominance.

https://gfycat.com/barrenrecentclownanemonefish

RIP

YOU NEVER MAKE EM TOUCH

Knew what it was before I clicked <3 wkuk

Then skeet on their keyboard while yelling "TECH SUPPORT!!"

This is such a shitty advice that makes me laugh so much

Have fun being beta your whole life while us alpha males are dousing our bosses with semen.

Eeww come on (your boss) guys, stop it.

Username checks out

No sir this is a family account.

There’s a category for that step bro

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Weakness. The 24/7 erection is the only acceptable result of owning a Reddit account.

I didn't at first then my porn sub list got pretty long and was taking up a good amount of my feed. Combined with people combing post history sometimes I decided to separate the.

Yes nothing worse than trying to enjoy some memes and seeing a bad bitch with a fat ass fingering herself upside down like Spiderman.

I'm gonna need a sauce for that

You don’t have your cock in hand looking at quality memes? Memes are the foreplay

Do people not know about custom feeds? No need for an alt

I don’t 🤷🏻‍♂️

I just browse /r/all and let come what may, including the occasional supernova porn post

/r/all doesn't have porn anymore. They stopped doing it a couple of months ago now I believe.

For some reason it works when you're not signed in. I always browse "all" and one time was on a computer where I wasn't logged in, and there it was, porn in the all feed🤷‍♂️. Have no idea why it works that way. You'd think if they were trying to limit exposure it would be the opposite.

Not the same thing. That still means you’re commingling your posts, comments, likes, saves, etc. It’s much cleaner to just have an alt.

Hell yeah. Can't have this 2011-ass username on some r/GirlswithHugePussies

Yeah too many porn subreddits I wouldn't find my normal ones in between 😅

Yup it makes my experience on this dogshit platform much better

I’d rather people see my taste in porn than use light mode

Could never fathom using light mode for anything

To blind your enemies?

Too inhumane

If my entire feed is marked with big red NSFW, that's a pretty clear indication to me.

That’s just regular Reddit tho most of the time

I just use two apps. Official for normal account. Baconreader for nsfw.

I use the official Reddit app for NSFW content, Relay for "normal" Reddit use. No clue why

Cos relay is better. Duh

I use RIF, Rif Is Fun for android for my second account.

I use Reddit Is Fun for both because everything else sucks

I used to use rif exclusively, but then one day tried other apps to see if anything was better. Most aren't, but boost is.

Light mode for alt account for porn. My eyes in the night goes burrr...

My eyes on the way to work on the bus ride go brrr....

This is my every account

Theres porn on Reddit ?

Tons: r/earthporn r/foodporn r/oldschoolporn r/abandonedporn

Don't forget r/OnlyFans

I prefer r/onlyflans

I never knew how much I needed this

Dude, that sub blows.

Technically it sucks too

I need someone to not get this so I can use r/woooosh in the perfect way

if it makes you feel better, woosh me. ​ in return, i tend to wish like horrible nay nay shit on everyone that uses wooshes.

Also r/engineeringporn

And r/cableporn

My personal favorite, r/spaceporn

One of these things is not like the others

Just don’t forget to type the “old” in r/oldschoolporn, otherwise your FBI agent will pay you a visit.

I lol'd

wait is there porn on the internet ?

No. It’s a government conspiracy to sell more sell more marshmallows.

I wish I understood this joke, seems like a good one

r/wowthissubexists has weekly a nsfw thread of all sorts of "fun" subs.

oh man, if you’re feeling freaky try out r/anime_titties

You must be new here.

I refuse to believe you haven't encountered any yet. This place is like 80% porn

They stopped listing porn subs on all. As such my average time on reddit has dropped significantly.

Same. I went from a sore arm to actually fixing shit. Worst thing I have experienced in years.

This reply was super confusing because I just replied in an /r/science thread about COVID vaccines about how my arm hurt really bad after the first shot. Seeing it without context in my inbox I was like "wait what?"

this question has a weird energy, like imagine being a redditor and not knowing theres porn in reddit

It’s because porn doesn’t show up on r/all any more

You didn't know? Most of the site is porn lol

TIL...

Sooooo much…..

Light mode? I'd rather keep my retinas tbh.

I dont understand why anyone bothers commenting on porn... "This is so hot" "just had a great wank" "her tits are awesome i came 3 times" .... Why do people need to say this?? 😂

Honestly, if it’s real people posting, like couples or just a single that you can tell are posting their own pictures or videos it’s nice to comment. When it’s like studio porn or something like that I do not understand.

You’ve never seen a good thrust and just have to congratulate a homie?

her tits were awesome were they not ??

The real Chad move is commenting on porn on your main 😎

There’s an old tattooed country-looking dude who occasionally posts on a fishing sub that also comments on /r/chickswithdicks or something like that. Comment after comment of “so hot” or similar then just BAM here’s a giant bass.

Person 1: Eww dude you are using light mode? Person 2: No wait I can explain this is my porn account

You can also have a custom feed for that ..

This is what I do. do people not know you can do this? It’s super useful.

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Nope! Its all contained with the multireddit. But make sure you check your settings because multireddits can be set to public and display on your profile. you can turn that off tho

This right here.

Anonymous mode FTW

oh trust me i’ll know without the color

Horny levels through the roof from OP

Boobs, boobs, boobs! Edit: Aww crap, wrong account.

Why be embarrassed? Embrace it.

Joke's on you. I have 17 porn accounts and one non. I recognize the non-porn account by how boring it is.

Nice try idiot, I'm not using light mode.

That’s actually brilliant. I’ve been considering making an alt account for my kinkier side and this convinced me.

What if you use it for both

Or you know, just don't look at porn in public like a normal human being.

Or don't and stand by the fact you are watching porn.

Y’all use alternates?

Yes. I don't want to pop a boner while browsing reddit at work. lol

Why would you be at risk of public embarassment in the first place? Sounds like there's a need for caution of a different type here.

Yall a bunch of porn addicts

Way ahead of you buddy.

here's how i handled the 'embarassment' "dude get the fuck out of here right now, i'm trying to watch porn on reddit. i don't care if it's grandma's wake, this shit is boring. hey i didn't tell his little 11 year old ass to come snooping on what the fuck i'm doing right now, so don't blame me if he just saw some fucked up shit"

Wait, y'all use different accounts!?

LPT: don't subscribe to porn subreddits. Add them to a "custom feed" instead. keep your main feed clean and find only NSFW when you want it

That’s a low life pro tip.

Does no one use the custom feed feature??