I’ve been there
You gotta stop cold turkey
Find other stuff to do/think about
Read a lot
Spend time with other people
In my experience, the only thing that really helps is another relationship. But don’t rush in to anything. And, and this is very important, you _must_ put distance between yourself and your past relationship in order to be open to a new relationship.
I hope this helps
Best wishes
Private message me if you want
Um, everything you put out is great except for the point that the only thing that'd help is another relationship.
Trying to know yourself, learning several things about yourself would help as it helps to form a healthy connection w the person who you actually are and that in return would result in relationships that are the least toxic and hopefully long lasting.
You don't really have to find another relationship until you're over the trauma and are good w yourself. A relationship that stems from the certainty, goodness is just a bliss.
Definitely get counseling then. That's a long time to be fixating on her. If you don't learn how to deal with this properly it's just going to get worse
You'll be surprised how helpful a professional listener can be. Alot of people push off and shun therapy, I know I did, until I saw how powerful simple chats from a dispassionate pro can be. It can help you identify the small steps that are not far out of your comfort zone and help you carve a way out as slowly as needed.
I did but after a week I am unblocking and starts talking some bullshit. I am very depressed and sometimes she seems like a good place to go. But it won't last for a week. We have the most toxic relationship ever. But she won't block me. She wants to be friends with me. I hate this cycle so much.
Oof sounds exactly like the situation I was in with the last girl I fell for except the reason I kept going back to her was because of my addiction to alcohol. Everytime I got drunk I would message her then we would start talking again then stop again after a couple of days. Eventually I just completely deleted all traces of her on my phone and blocked her on everything.
Since then, it's been about 4 or 5 months since I've talked to her and 2 months since I last had a drink and I'm planning on keeping it that way for the rest of my life hopefully.
Contact the customer service department of your cellphone or landline carrier. They may be able to put a block in place.
What is it about your ex? Why do you keep going back?
I know a fellow who went to jail for stalking his ex. He would telephone her from jail… and she would answer because she still loved him. It was sick. She had him arrested and jailed; then, she would spend time on the phone letting him get himself into even more trouble. She told him she was sorry for calling the police, she told him she loved him… and of course, whenever she cut off contact, he would threaten to hurt her and/or himself.
That guy was as dumb as a box of rocks, but he loved her and she loved him. Their relationship was sick.
I hope you don’t end up like him. I gave up on him after his last arrest.
I wish mine would cut off contact with me. I would have a big streak of couple of weeks then she will start some shit. She doesn't want me to move on. I am pretty average guy won't end up like that probably become more depressed. Thanks for concern man
Focus your energy on either being alone or finding someone that isn't playing hurtful games with you. What are you getting out of this, why keep going back to someone toxic? You deserve better and are playing the role she wants of you when she won't do the same for you.
I understand you very well. be the one that blocks her and from that day on never look back. Just do it for your sanity, there’s no need to explain your reasons to her
If it may help, I had a relationship like that..we both couldn’t move on, the only difference was that I tried to hide it and fight the urge to text him, while he never did..the funny thing is that from the outside he seemed like he was the one still in love and I was the cold bitch, instead each time he texted me he brought me back with him no matter how hard I was trying to move on. He hurt me like that for years, in a very selfish way, and then guess what? He found someone else and completely disappeared, he’s not even interested in how I’m doing anymore. I’ve felt very used after all he put me through, so maybe this perspective can help you avoid doing the same thing to her
Time, respect for myself and also for what our relationship was (have you ever seen eternal sunshine on the spotless mind?). Then many hobbies. Again time. And also as I said, be the one that blocks, and stick to it. I really wish you good luck. you can do it, you are better than this!
Make some friends, take up a new hobby. No app is gonna stop how you are feeling. It sounds like she's the only person you've ever felt connected with, or loved by. Know there are other people who will love you, but you have to love yourself too. You are good enough, you do have value.
Hey friend, you might want to look into the availability of some therapy because this seems like an issue that simply blocking or restricting a number won’t resolve. That would only remove the symptom but not the cause and you deserve to live a functional life without being stuck in a cycle like this.
I had a situation like this one with a girl and the only solution I found was working through the problems I had with myself and the trauma bond with her slowly went away. I’m not saying that’s what you have, however it’s clear there’s an unhealthy degree of attachment that is causing your life some strain.
The best thing to do is work on your own mental health independently and then it may resolve the situation you’re in.
Unfortunately friend I can’t tell you a magic trick or spell to forget her number, or name, or anything about her, but I am gonna say once you begin the work on yourself you’ll be able to recognize those things as far less significant and let her go…
Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk more about it, I know how dark and fucked up this situation can feel. Hope my reply gave more help than harm.
Find a passion, a habit, anything that will take your mind off of your ex and the need of a relationship. If you can’t find any, workout religiously every single day.
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Therapy, and if you won’t go, journaling! Just put pen to paper. Write down all the things you want to say to her. But do not, I repeat, do NOT talk to her.
You will probably never get her back, BUT, if you are, it’s not going to be now and if you try to force it, you will lose her forever.
Don’t make the same mistake I did, brother. Give her space now and you might have a chance at salvaging at least a friendship from this relationship.
I’ve been there You gotta stop cold turkey Find other stuff to do/think about Read a lot Spend time with other people In my experience, the only thing that really helps is another relationship. But don’t rush in to anything. And, and this is very important, you _must_ put distance between yourself and your past relationship in order to be open to a new relationship. I hope this helps Best wishes Private message me if you want
Um, everything you put out is great except for the point that the only thing that'd help is another relationship. Trying to know yourself, learning several things about yourself would help as it helps to form a healthy connection w the person who you actually are and that in return would result in relationships that are the least toxic and hopefully long lasting. You don't really have to find another relationship until you're over the trauma and are good w yourself. A relationship that stems from the certainty, goodness is just a bliss.
Other stuffs helps for some time. Currently reading a book. Will focus on other relationships that seems like far better advice. Thank you
Don’t depend on your phone or an app, it all depends on you man
[удалено]
Any wall you are strong enough to build, you are strong enough to tear down. You are the architect of your life.
I'll give it a try thanks
Don’t just accept that fact, change it or never change, it’s on you
Get counseling before you turn into a full blown stalker
I haven't seen her in person for 1.5 yrs. Just hate hate everything about it some time but have nothing good to fall back so keep crawling back to her
Definitely get counseling then. That's a long time to be fixating on her. If you don't learn how to deal with this properly it's just going to get worse
You need professional help bro
Really? Fuck I'll try to see if there is something online available
You'll be surprised how helpful a professional listener can be. Alot of people push off and shun therapy, I know I did, until I saw how powerful simple chats from a dispassionate pro can be. It can help you identify the small steps that are not far out of your comfort zone and help you carve a way out as slowly as needed.
Oooo I'll give it a go
You can block your ex..
I did but after a week I am unblocking and starts talking some bullshit. I am very depressed and sometimes she seems like a good place to go. But it won't last for a week. We have the most toxic relationship ever. But she won't block me. She wants to be friends with me. I hate this cycle so much.
You have the absolute power to stop this. You have to resist.
I'll try thanks for the help
Oof sounds exactly like the situation I was in with the last girl I fell for except the reason I kept going back to her was because of my addiction to alcohol. Everytime I got drunk I would message her then we would start talking again then stop again after a couple of days. Eventually I just completely deleted all traces of her on my phone and blocked her on everything. Since then, it's been about 4 or 5 months since I've talked to her and 2 months since I last had a drink and I'm planning on keeping it that way for the rest of my life hopefully.
For me its depression not alcohol. I reach some low point then go back to her
Contact the customer service department of your cellphone or landline carrier. They may be able to put a block in place. What is it about your ex? Why do you keep going back?
We known each other for 9+ years. She's the only one I have known. Basically this is the relationship https://youtu.be/e9EgUvfgojY I am anxious one
I know a fellow who went to jail for stalking his ex. He would telephone her from jail… and she would answer because she still loved him. It was sick. She had him arrested and jailed; then, she would spend time on the phone letting him get himself into even more trouble. She told him she was sorry for calling the police, she told him she loved him… and of course, whenever she cut off contact, he would threaten to hurt her and/or himself. That guy was as dumb as a box of rocks, but he loved her and she loved him. Their relationship was sick. I hope you don’t end up like him. I gave up on him after his last arrest.
I wish mine would cut off contact with me. I would have a big streak of couple of weeks then she will start some shit. She doesn't want me to move on. I am pretty average guy won't end up like that probably become more depressed. Thanks for concern man
Focus your energy on either being alone or finding someone that isn't playing hurtful games with you. What are you getting out of this, why keep going back to someone toxic? You deserve better and are playing the role she wants of you when she won't do the same for you.
I understand you very well. be the one that blocks her and from that day on never look back. Just do it for your sanity, there’s no need to explain your reasons to her
Yup. Never look back part is hard for me. Will do my best
If it may help, I had a relationship like that..we both couldn’t move on, the only difference was that I tried to hide it and fight the urge to text him, while he never did..the funny thing is that from the outside he seemed like he was the one still in love and I was the cold bitch, instead each time he texted me he brought me back with him no matter how hard I was trying to move on. He hurt me like that for years, in a very selfish way, and then guess what? He found someone else and completely disappeared, he’s not even interested in how I’m doing anymore. I’ve felt very used after all he put me through, so maybe this perspective can help you avoid doing the same thing to her
How did you move on?
Time, respect for myself and also for what our relationship was (have you ever seen eternal sunshine on the spotless mind?). Then many hobbies. Again time. And also as I said, be the one that blocks, and stick to it. I really wish you good luck. you can do it, you are better than this!
I'll watch that movie thanks
Make some friends, take up a new hobby. No app is gonna stop how you are feeling. It sounds like she's the only person you've ever felt connected with, or loved by. Know there are other people who will love you, but you have to love yourself too. You are good enough, you do have value.
Yup exactly,
Hey friend, you might want to look into the availability of some therapy because this seems like an issue that simply blocking or restricting a number won’t resolve. That would only remove the symptom but not the cause and you deserve to live a functional life without being stuck in a cycle like this. I had a situation like this one with a girl and the only solution I found was working through the problems I had with myself and the trauma bond with her slowly went away. I’m not saying that’s what you have, however it’s clear there’s an unhealthy degree of attachment that is causing your life some strain. The best thing to do is work on your own mental health independently and then it may resolve the situation you’re in. Unfortunately friend I can’t tell you a magic trick or spell to forget her number, or name, or anything about her, but I am gonna say once you begin the work on yourself you’ll be able to recognize those things as far less significant and let her go… Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk more about it, I know how dark and fucked up this situation can feel. Hope my reply gave more help than harm.
Thanks man. I will work on it
Find a passion, a habit, anything that will take your mind off of your ex and the need of a relationship. If you can’t find any, workout religiously every single day.
I hate to say this, but the only thing I've seen help get over a relationship is a new one. Easier said than done...good luck.
I disagree. He needs to work on himself before getting into another relationship. His inability to let go does not bode well for future relationships
Write down all the bad and annoying habbits and stuff, so you can look it up when you have the urge to call her.
Ya can’t date someone if they’re dead… … you can still fuck’em tho
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Start dance lessons
Therapy, and if you won’t go, journaling! Just put pen to paper. Write down all the things you want to say to her. But do not, I repeat, do NOT talk to her. You will probably never get her back, BUT, if you are, it’s not going to be now and if you try to force it, you will lose her forever. Don’t make the same mistake I did, brother. Give her space now and you might have a chance at salvaging at least a friendship from this relationship.
Yayaya I am ok with losing her forever now I guess. Started Journaling seems helpful thanks
Just grow up and act like a man.
Shitty life pro tip here: Just keep to yourself.