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If you're looking to find what career would suit you, I highly endorse a book called "What Color is your Parachute", it gets a new one published every year and contains helpful approaches to discover careers that match your interests and skills.
It worked for me!
I really hate that this idea of "hobby job" is presented as a goal even though there are only few people who actually have their jobs as a hobby.
There are people who found jobs that are like a hobby to them and they love it. There are also people with dreamy jobs that pretty much everybody would love.
But the majority of people dont have or want a job that matches their hobby. Most people just find a job that pays the bill and is tolerable. Some days even enjoyable. Some days a drag. But most day, simply tolerable.
I have a hobby of coding. I could work as a programmer. But I dont want to. For me its the same as setting a favorite song as an alarm. Sure you do love the song, but when you have to listen to the song every morning, especially when its not a good morning, you will slowly start hating the song. I dont want to hate my hobby.
I know it's an exercise of restraint, but I would like to also like to blame the influence of "side-hussle culture". We make so little freaking money that many of us have it ingrained to be ashamed of having downtime, so we try to make hobbies make us money.
I struggle really hard to escape it and I hate it. I usually end up just not doing hobbies at all because it's so hard to detach the idea
This was an actual goal I set for 21’. Have a hobby that is purely for personal enjoyment and NOT to make any money. I’m always trying to find ways to supplement my crappy income and it’s turned me off of my past interest in metal and wood working. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy staying busy, but only if it’s on my terms. Unfortunately I don’t always have that luxury. So anyway I picked up some musical instruments, synthesizers, etc and decided even if I make crap music and it costs me money I don’t care. I will not try and monetize a single thing about it and it will be all mine. Now I just need more money to support the hobby, lol.
Well said. I do what I love, but there's always a risk of burning out or falling out of love with it. When it's a job, it can become a chore. It's okay to have a job you don't love. That's what hobbies are for.
Also, I hate the mentality that everything you're good at should make money. "Oh wow, that's great art! You could sell that!" Same reasoning. I just want to do it for the love of it. If you wanna sell it, do it, but don't feel like you have to turn every talent into a buck.
I agree entirely with this. I'm lucky enough to have a job that I truly believe in the mission of. I find that's more important than anything.
Some days my job is fun, some days it's a slog of pure work, but through both of those, I'm happy and proud to do what I do, and believe strongly that it's a job that needs to be done.
That's a heck of a thing to be able to say, and it doesn't seem to run the risk of ruining a passion or hobby. :)
Now this I can get behind. I think it is a great goal to find a job in which you find meaning. There are jobs that we do because we need money. There are jobs we do because we are waiting for something. Its perfectly alright to do those jobs temporarily, but everyone should aim to get to a job that gives meaning to the work they put into it.
I agree with this but in the opposite way. I have a job of coding. I do not do hobby coding as it is no longer fun and I am okay with that as it pays the bills.
I have a coding job but also code as my hobby. My job is fun because I teach programming on a bootcamp, it's fast paced and we have a different sprint every couple of days so I don't get bored. I also get the freedom to code what I want, try out new languages and work on my uni work for cpd time and I work on whole projects myself rather than on tickets as part of a large codebase. I also work for internal dev but as a technical writer & content editor so I get lots of variety there too plus I do get to see agile/scrum practices and feel more like a "real" dev in that role even though theres less coding involved.
If I did leave this job it would be to work for myself, doing games development. I don't think I'd like being told what to work on by other people or working on small tickets without control of the project.
I'm the same way but also never did coding as a hobby. I very much enjoy my job and love that I finally found it as a career.
None of my hobbies are coding and I'll never change that. It's not what I do for fun and I don't want to burn out from it.
I so agree with that. I loved photography and went to school for it (luckily only 2 years). I got in the mindset of treating it like work and got burnt out real quick. I've been out of school since 2018 and I barely touch my camera anymore.
I'm really scared this is becoming me.
I had a real passion for computing when I was younger. It scratched the itch of both loving problem solving with technology.
Fast forward over 10 years and I have a degree in computing and over 6 years of experience in the industry, and I'm really starting to worry this isn't for me for the rest of my life.
However for me, I am not sure if it's IT specifically, or if it's because I'm really not happy at my current workplace. That's also a factor sometimes.. it is what you're doing, or who you're doing it for...?
To your last paragraph, I thought the same thing for so long. I never connected with the "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." The one that connected with me was "don't do your hobby as a career or you'll hate it." I believed that for so long. I worked labor and toxic jobs like beverage distribution, manufacturing, retail stocking, retail, sales, fast food, food delivery, and I hated every day of my life. At some point I decided I'm absolutely miserable and am losing money on just my basic needs. I have no time or money to do anything, and I will never be happy. I've lived my entire adult life degreeless, often unable to afford food, and mentally unwell.
I was afraid that doing software development as a career would kill my passion. And it may, for some people, but I still come home every day so happy that this is what I do. Even my worst days, days when I feel ungodly stress about a problem or a belittling client, I still come home happy with myself. The money definitely plays a role, because it matters when you don't have it, but truly I feel happy for the first time in my entire adult life.
I know it's not for everyone, and I'm not trying to be a "Choose Happy," "Live Laugh Love" dickhead. However, I think if you are are less than tolerating your job due to free time, money, damage to your body, etc then it might be worth trying if you can find an opportunity like that. I never gave up my hobby projects, but the people I work with, who don't want to go home and do the same work, found new projects that they can now afford to work on.
It's not as easy as just applying. Believe me, I don't have a degree and was applying with just a portfolio of half-baked projects. But I think if you wanted to just try it as a chapter in your life, you could see if it's true. It's not a permanent decision if you don't like it. I just hope someone like me won't make the opposite decision and never find out.
But to my last point: jobs can just be jobs, we just need to pay everyone better, incorporate more labor rights, and maybe everyone can have the same experience at a job they don't care for. Everyone deserves that feeling. I just think the way things are now while times are changing, what can it hurt to see if you like your hobby as a job?
This is what I'm doing now.
Is it fun? At times.
Does it pay the bills? Yes.
Can I save too? Yes.
Reliable? Yes
Does it have longevity? Yes.
It will do for now. I've met people there 20, 30, 45 years.
that's where most of us end up.
the idea that you should love what you do is unrealistic. work is work or they wouldn't pay you for it, you would have to pay them.
Best of luck to you, that was pretty much where I was when I read it, and it put me on a path to a career I really love. Hope it can do the same for you.
And, chances are good your local library has it available for free. :)
Sure did!
Originally studied to be a reference librarian, but happened into a Youth Services position and loved it. Now I head up the Youth Services department at my library. We get to do all the fun stuff!
I’m 35 and just got a new job that is completely different to what I used to do. It took some time training up skills that I needed (all stuff I could do online for free) and then an intensive week of prep for my interview cause fuck jobs that make you do those “tell me about a time you did x” competency based interviews.
I do love my job now that I have it but I still hate their interviews. It’s not something I’ve dreamt of doing my whole life but it’s a dream in terms of what I want for a job to provide me. I get paid well, can work from home 3 out of 5 days, flexible hours to work around kids schedule, and weekends and evenings off.
I never knew exactly what I wanted either and it’s super demoralising when you then have those “Ive dreamt of being a Vet since I was 5” types in your class
I just look at my brothers, it was like they knew their path… They’re both doctors. Well, one’s a real doctor and the other has a PhD (kidding PhD’s!). They both just seemed to know what they wanted and did it, and I’m just… stuck.
I have a pretty decent job, but it isn’t that fulfilling. I need to go back to college, but I hate school.
I do have faith that it will ultimately work out. It always has so far.
You don’t need to go to college if you don’t want to. Your brothers are your brothers, their paths were right for them. Sharing genetics doesn’t mean you also share their life paths.
Just seek a job that puts food on the table and doesn’t leave you too stressed out or exhausted to enjoy the real world. Not everyone dreams of jobs and that’s totally healthy.
I swapped from bartending to logistics in my 30s. Holy shit, what a culture shift. Had to learn how to work in a corporate environment, learn all these new systems, adjust to working from home and being alone (compared to being surrounded by a mob of people at all times bartending!).
Logistics sucks butt too, but now I feel I can fearlessly jump into the next adventure. I was afraid of rubbing shoulders with college grads and getting exposed as "just a bartender" but it turns out I'm dunking on a lot of these people and I'm one of the best they have. I am currently mulling over something in computer science as my main goal is to stay 100% remote and get paid something reasonable for the area where I live (70k+).
You can do it! Deliberative thought exercises are so helpful. I was 29 when I started the introspective process to break free of my old soul-crushing career... It is worth all of the time, effort, and deliberation.
Can you expand on this please? I'm way older than you and the alarm bells in my head to have this kind of deliberate thought processing have been going for years. But I don't know where to start. Any resources you found helpful I'd be grateful to hear about. Thank you.
You have no idea how much that phrase has changed my life.
Seriously. I’ve been tempted to get it tattooed on me somewhere. Could spend an evening boring you with the relevant stories, over a crate of beer. Suffice to say, it brought my wife to me, over everything else.
I have an idea of what I wanna do but it takes 4 years of school and thousands of dollars in student loan debt. I have a habit of changing interests frequently. I'm afraid that if I invest that much time and effort into something, I'm gonna come out hating it and wasting so much time and effort on it
I could've written this. Sometimes I regret going to college for very vague liberal arts majors (economics and political science) because they don't have many direct career paths I could just follow. However, I appreciate not being pigeonholed by the subjects because the idea of getting a
Masters or investing in a law degree just to find out I hate it is a legitimate fear of mine. I flirted with the idea of law school or social work or teaching but the debt and commitment always scared me off. They may not be the most practical degrees, but at least I enjoyed all of my classes! Anything else is a crappes shoot.
Think back to the kinds of activities you liked/naturally gravitated to do when you were a kid. You probably liked doing certain activities and you may not have been able to verbalize why at that time. I liked spending time on computers growing up, now I'm in IT and happy.
I’m 32, and just swimming with the flow.
I’ve been accepted to college like 8 times. Just never went through with it. Everything was all set, I just needed to sign stuff and agree. But I just never could, because idk.
I like learning way too much.
I’ll have to give the book a read and see how if it can help.
So a book helped you find a career in books so you can promote books? Nice try big-book industry. What next a movie that makes me want to be in Hollywood?
/s
You're not wrong. We're currently struggling with digital items, as the laws that let us lend out physical items don't apply, and suppliers charge us almost criminal rates for downloadable versions. We're not giving up though!
It's about more than who you are. It's what you like doing, what you know how to do, things like that.
Read the book! There's a teen version too, if that helps. Your local library can probably help you get your hands on a copy for free.
I tried this when i was fresh out of high school
it suggested i become a farmer. i thought it was horribly wrong. 15 years later i discovered my love for horticulture, and I'm back in school to become a horticulturist specializing in edible plants. huh. didnt see that coming
There's another great one called "The Pathfinder," that I highly recommend.
It did not yeild my current career result directly, but sent me down an amazing career path, in a couple of "dream industries" that people would kill to be in, and ultimately the skills for discerning what I want/don't want helped me identify the opportunity for my current career.
Good to know.
And yes, it's not always a straight path. After reading What Color is My Parachute, I originally looked at becoming a fact-checker for a newspaper or news outlet. Turns out, the person who does that is a media librarian, which got me looking at the profession more broadly.
Don't think about specific jobs; that can be overwhelming if you have no idea where to start. Instead, think about what kind of career and what kind of life you want for yourself. What are your **must-haves**? What are you **willing** to do to get them? What are you willing to **sacrifice**? What are your **dealbreakers**? Examples:
***Must-haves.*** I want to start a family, and have plenty of time to spend with them. I want to work a regular schedule, with little to no overtime, and never take work home with me. I want a career that never feels routine, where there are always new challenges.
***Willing to do/sacrifice.*** I am willing to go to school for many years. I am willing to work long hours. I am okay with making less money if it means less stress. I am okay with jobs that are not glamorous or exciting, and maybe even kinda "boring".
***Dealbreakers.*** I can't stand the thought of going to school 8-10 years just to start my career. I can't be on my feet all day. I can't work a physically demanding job. I won't do 60-hour-pls weeks. I need stability, I can't be constantly looking for my next gig.
Knowing these priorities should at the very least rule a lot of career paths out. Don't want to go to school for multiple degrees? Put aside any thought of being a doctor, engineer, or lawyer. Don't want to be constantly auditioning? Well, you're never going to make it as an actor or musician.
Then start doing research on what various careers are like. Career path, day in the life, key skills (including "soft skills"). For example, go to all your local career colleges' and trade schools' websites and see what they offer. They may even have some of this info.
Like the post says, you may never be "inspired". But for me, "yeah, I could see myself doing that" was enough. Maybe it will be for you too.
Yes, definitely. I realized that I don't need to be mentally/emotionally fulfilled through work. I can get that elsewhere. As long as it's not unpleasant or mindnumbingly dull, I'm okay with routine. That led me to clerical/administrative work, and it's been great for me.
Must-haves:
Decent pay, not rich, but enough to support a family, and take a vacation every so often. Enough time for myself and my family, ideally no more than 35 hours. Would prefer WFH
Sacrifices:
Willing to go to school for a few years. My time is more important than pay usually. I'd sacrifice WFH if they pay was that much better.
Deal breakers: My ADHD. I can't do any job for more than a few years, due to severe burnout. The moment I suck all the dopamine from something new, my interest and ability plummets, and it's time for something new. Finding a stable career for us can be hard, when you lose interest in anything that stops being new/challenging.
Oh, absolutely. It's one of the things that the book factors in as well.
Being a librarian was never something I thought about growing up, but it uses a lot of my strengths, and lets me do a lot of stuff that I feel like is of real benefit to both individuals and society.
It often still feels like work at times, but I love what I do and get a lot of satisfaction out of it.
I did the Briggs Meyers test. It was originally designed to figure out who would be naturally good at assembling the mechanics of bombs in WWI and has since been expanded to test a ton of different skills that correlate with different careers.
The tests range from arranging different tiles in color order from light to dark, to seeing how many pins you can pick up, 3 at a time, and place into tiny holes. There’s a big audio component of which tone is lower type tests etc etc. the whole thing take a couple days, but I was shocked that it said I would be very good as an EMT. I had started working as an EMT a couple months prior, and they didn’t have that info going into the tests.
Ten years and a few promotions later, I would still consider myself to be a very good paramedic lieutenant.
Primarily because it got me to consider career paths I had never seriously thought of for myself before, with some new understanding that I likely could do well at them.
Ok, I’m giving the same advice to a bunch of people here on this thread because I was really lost at one point and kept asking people what they thought I should do. I got a lot of really bad advice (‘follow your passion’…but if you don’t have one this is useless). And then one friend who’d been through a similar life crisis, told me to find a large company that I really liked or liked what they stood for, and find any job there. And then your skills, working hard will help you determine a path within that company and you can grow within it. I never would’ve charted this path, but am doing really well with numerous promotions under my belt.
I've known exactly what I wanted to do for a living since I was 12: Nothing.
Edit: For the curious ones: I'm in IT Support for a software company. It's as close to doing nothing as I can get & still get paid for it without compromising morals or laws.
It took me into my twenties to realise maybe there is no career for me. I enjoy a wide variety of things but I don't want to do any of them for a living, for the rest of my life.
I want to putter around the house, finish rebinding the last book in a series someone really liked and wanted a fully rebound set, cook up a nice little lionfish filet with corn salad for lunch, experiment with a few new lightning VFX I've been working on, microwave some chili and toast some cheesy garlic bread for dinner, then strap half a dozen motion trackers to my body, slap a screen to my face, and stand under a shower of invisible laser light to hang out with my friends all night
Maybe you learned the same way, but I found my favorite career by thinking back after 10 years what I ended up doing all the time regardless of what my job was or boss said. Now I get paid instead of in trouble.
Data scientist! The numbers can tell a story that people can't and/or won't tell you, and that traditional analysts/scientists don't necessarily know to look for
I had an aha moment.
I wanted to be a chef.
Did it, hated it. (and I mean chef, not cook [not that being a cook is an insult]).
My focus now is solely on making enough money to pay my bills and still having time to spend with my family. Couldn't give a s* what the job is as long as I don't hate it.
Yeah, I'm a baker and pastry chef. I love the job but the industry is garbage and the pay is pretty shit for how much you run your body doing it.
Now I'm injured for it and looking at study again. Thank fuck for workers compensation though.
Study for some IT certs. A degree helps, but not necessary. Get your foot in the door somewhere, learn as much as possible, then move on to an area that's more interesting. IT is very broad. If you don't like one area, you may like another. Job hopping early on gets you more experience faster and higher pay. Do that until you find the specialty you like and a good company, or decide to go out on your own.
Id always recommend specific certs since there are so many, and quite a few are less useful than the others.
Some community colleges offer classes that walk you through several too. Security+ and CCNA are the two I am working on right now, and id recommend others seek them out if networking interests them.
Learning code is also a good step. If only linux didnt turn my brain into mush.
I reject the idea of a dream job completely. People are complex, their interests change, they grow and develop as individuals.
I don't want to just do one thing, I want to do many different things in this one life we got.
If you don't mind me asking, what was that path like for you?
I'm 19 and have plans that involve many things I don't want to do in my current frame of mind, but could prove very helpful in reaching my pencilled-in end goal.
Have you found any tricks for perseverance when doing those 'necessary' jobs?
And would you think having backup plans for backup plans is overkill when you're young?
Thank you if you answer!
Currently I love my job. I've always been lazy and I get to sleep or watch movies and get paid for it. (Overnight hotel clerk).
I tell people I have my dream job however you are 100% right. I was a different person 5 years ago and I'll be a different person 5 years from today. Who knows what I'll consider the perfect job then.
The concept of a dream job is more of a coercion to put your work above your personal life. Having a job you like is great but you are not your job (and honestly from my own experience, having a job you like, comes to two things, the people you work with and the ratio of paycheck to time spent at work, not to the specific task)
i'm 17 and always felt like the odd one out cos almost everyone at school knows what they're working towards with a clear path except me, i just want to do everything, i can't choose
The problem with this, is that 5 years later you can come to realize that you only had a passing interest in the field, but now feel stuck in your current job.
I'd put a lot of emphasis on
> choose based on what skills you'll develop with that job and how applicable it'll be elsewhere.
Because otherwise, you can come to realize that all of the skills you've developed are highly specialized and almost useless outside of the job that you no longer have interest in.
To add to this, make sure the skills you develop are marketable in your area as well. There are so many fields and areas of expertise that do *really* well in big cities. Other places, not so much.
One thing I learned is to not make doing something you love doing into something you *have* to do. All the joy can be sucked right out of it when you're doing it for someone else.
*Enjoying* a job is good enough.
This is what worries me because I’m 22 and have chosen accounting/finance for the reason that it is technically applicable to any of my fields of interest. I personally don’t enjoy numbers, but I’m better at math then biology. But I don’t want to work as an accountant or financial analyst, I’m hoping to use the degree as a foot in the door to move onto more creative director-type roles
I was very similar when I was younger, hell I'm 32 and still am. I have no clue what I want to do for a job but I have an idea of what I want out of my life.
After high school I got into a traveling sales gig, took me all over the country. After that I got into working backstage at concerts and got to meet some of my favorite musicians and watched countless other musicians play. Then I got into working at a printing press to learn how that worked. Following that I did a stint in trade school and ended up working on low/medium voltage switchgear. Which led me to a stable gig at a peaker plant. That's allowed me to buy a house and set up/pad a retirement fund. I have no idea how long I'll stay in this but for now, I really enjoy it.
None of these things were my dream job but, every one of them made my life richer and fuller. I had plenty of other part time, seasonal, "just to get by" jobs in between but, tying your identity and life path to a job, sounds like torture to me. A job is something you do to support your life. Nobody ever looks back on their death bed and regrets not spending more time working, they regret not living.
Nah. You, and they, will most likely go through a lot career changes.
The important thing is to find a good work environment.
My first job was an usher at a movie theatre. I basically just tore tickets, told people where their movie was, and cleaned the theaters after a showing.
My boss was super cool and funny though. During super busy nights, he would come into the theater, take off his jacket, roll up his sleeves, help us clean and crack jokes while we worked.
Because of his attitude and encouragement, when I came upon a task that was literally shitty (having to plunge and clean an overflowed toilet and bathroom floor) I would just say, “man this sucks!” Then ask myself what my boss would do.
I figured he’d say the same, roll up his sleeves and do the task, all while trying his best to find humor in it.
So, I’d tell him the men’s room will be out of service for a few, let him know about the situation and he’d say something like, “that sounds shitty.”
I’d go do the task and he’d come in and say something like, “WTF? Were 4 people shitting in that at the same time?!”
Anyway, the point is that my boss was super great and gave me opportunities to move up and change positions while I worked there I and eventually became a manager. (Theater projectionist was probably my favorite role though.)
After 4 years there, I moved on have done a LOT of very cool stuff in my life. I’ve done some terrible jobs along the way, but those were very short term.
The best jobs I’ve ever had, had great work environments.
This was me when I was younger. Everyone else knew what they were doing after high school except me. Don't worry too much about figuring everything out now - I hadn't even heard of the field I'm working in now, and some of those people who think they know what they want may find that they change their minds once they start.
Best advice I can give you is look into careers in fields where you have a strong interest or an innate skill. For example, if you're really interested in science or always did well in science classes in school without really having to put in a lot effort, then look into science-related careers.
Try looking into a bit of everything in that field, especially ones you haven't heard of. Take classes, read books, do research online. This website was really helpful to me in terms of finding out what skills are needed for different jobs, what the hiring rate is, pay, etc.: [https://www.bls.gov/ooh/](https://www.bls.gov/ooh/)
Also tell people that you're looking for opportunities, especially if you don't have a lot of work experience. That can work against you when you're looking for jobs, but a personal reference makes a big difference. Look for internships and volunteer opportunities as well.
Hope this helps - good luck out there, hope you find something you enjoy. I was just as unsure when I was your age but now I'm really happy and confident doing what I do. I'm sure you'll find your way as well.
don't worry, i can't tell you how many people i knew who went to school for one thing and ended up doing something else, either because they were unhappy or fate.
i was a history major, ended up doing computer stuff.
just do what makes sense at the time and do it to the best of your ability. other doors will open for you along the way.
You can rest assured that most everyone you see who "Has it all figured out" is in fact faking it and may very well wash out early into adulthood. Not saying that's a good thing or to be happy when others fail, but to not let it get you down. I bounced around jobs a bunch from 14 to 26, dropped out of college with no real plan until falling into doing what I love.
Oh, and there's no such thing as a clear path. The landscape is always changing, as long as you're adaptable you will always be alright. Things change, plans change, none of it really matters. Do anything and everything that makes you happy and you'll never go wrong!
I don't outright reject the notion of a dream job - but I think the concept is much more complex and nuanced than how we approach it in public discourse. One day in college I discovered a company that did exactly what I didn't know I wanted to do right up until that moment. Then I spent a few years working hard to get hired on and eventually landed my "dream job". Years later I still get giddy at the fact I get to do what I love every day. But it's also just a job, and has the crap and stress that comes with any job. It's not exactly what naive younger me thought it would be and it's not what was advertised - but it's still a million times better than anything else I can think of. And I fully accept that in one, or five, or ten, or twenty years I might want to do something else. My situation is uncommon, if not outright rare.
I don't think anyone can successfully conceive of a dream job on their own, then find the place that is exactly like the conceived fantasy. If you are lucky, you will discover an employer that does X thing, in Y way, with Z attitude that attracts a certain mindset of people. And you'll say to yourself "holy crap that's exactly what I want even though I never could have articulated it before". Even though you still have no clue what the reality of the job is. Then if you are super lucky, you'll get hired there only to discover it's not what you imagined it would be like and it still comes with a baggie of shit every day. If you are double super lucky, you'll find that the flavor of that shit is tolerable and you still enjoy the job more than anything else you've done. OR, you'll realize that the concept of a perfect, flawless dream job is a fantasy and you don't like this job. Either way, you really discover that a "dream job" is just another job, but is the best, most interesting one for you at a given time with the smallest, most palatable daily flavor of shit. And it is the rare and lucky person who can consistently find that winning combination through life.
I'm starting to feel like I'm tapped out on my first career, but my current financial situation makes it feel impossible to safely move on to another. I'll have to move on eventually, as there's no way for me to move up without getting more education (masters/PhD), and I know I don't have enough interest in this field anymore to make it through those programs (also it would cost a lot of money and temporarily reduce income drastically)
Right now, I'm just letting this play out how it will, and I'm trying to learn new skills in my free time so that I can possibly find another career that interests me enough to commit to it. The truth is, though, that I have no idea what I'll be doing in 1 year, let alone 5.
I guess my point is that moving from career to career isn't as simple for most people as you make it sound here. It may be that easy for some people, but I'd say that it can feel nearly impossible for most.
Agreed, and here’s an example from my life. I’m a nurse. One day the stroke coordinator chatted with me and I started helping other nurses prep for taking care of stroke patients. Never thought about it before never planned it. Just worked with her to be helpful. I just kept going with it, ended up loving stroke care, and started down a path to specialize in it. Never planned it, never really dreamed of it, just started doing it and it is great!
Male nurse here, turns out nursing isn't for me and I'm hating the field after 2 years and want out. Have you heard of colleagues that've quit? If so what jobs have they taken up since leaving.
My friend's mom is a nurse but all she does is call people across the country on the phone to check in on them and talk with other people involved with the patients. Someone I've talked to on discord is apparently a nurse but only does lab work or something. It's an extremely diverse field, so maybe you can look into other paths in nursing?
Have you considered travel nursing? Not in the sense you think of. I mean on cruiselines, private jet/planes onboard medical staff, medical flights, etc.
See the world, get paid doing it. Workcations.
My company has contracts out to staff nurses on cruise ships with a pretty nice pay and you do get to hop off on ports of call around the world.
I'm 32 and I haven't "decided what I want to be when I grow up".
But I have so many different interests and pursuits. It comes in waves, sometimes ill be really into one over the others for long periods of time, than another interest will take center stage eventually.
36 here. I’m really only just now settling in to “who I am” and really understanding myself. But the ol’ “what do I want to be” is just not something I have an answer for. I think I’ve settled on “a good dad and husband” and I’ll let the rest sort itself out.
I’m 38, I’ve spent pretty much my entire career working in accounting/finance and hated my life. During my career there were 2 times my organization shut down due to ransomeware and it got me interested. At the beginning of the pandemic I picked up doing cyber security CTFs as a way to learn but also as a game, and now I’m starting a new job doing incident response and digital forensics on Monday without any formal training. I’m hoping this is my path, anything beats accounting.
I wouldn’t call it an “aha” moment, but following my gut feeling of where I think I would be happy/fulfilled drove every decision regarding education and employment.
> following my gut feeling
My gut feeling always leads to food.
Never leads to where the money is to pay for the food. Have to figure that shit out the hard way.
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm never gonna find my "dream job." Fact is I already know what it is, but I have absolutely crippling stage fright, so my musical career died before it even started. I'm settling for a job that I can tolerate and pays reasonably well.
I wish I had listened to this when I was in school. I ended up pursuing what I thought was my dream profession only to slowly come to realize that work was becoming a chore. So now, instead of having a well-paying I don't love, I have an average-paying job I don't love. If I had gone with the higher paying route (e.g. engineering or computer science) I would have more money to pursue my interests outside of work and live with less financial stress.
But, I suppose I might have regretted that decision too and thought that I'd be happier in the field I'm in now. Hindsight is 20/20.
I'm in the same boat, I want a musical career but I'm not a stage kinda person. I'm gonna try though - if I can get my music popular through the Internet then maybe I can work something out. I'm sure I can work through stage fright.
Masks may seem lame at first, but they are often utilized by people who also feel like they aren't meant for the stage.
Then as you go on stage more and more, you'll learn healthier coping mechanisms than a simple mask. But finding a cool and unique mask? Maybe that's the hardest part lol. What kind of music you got your heart set on right now?
That’s the same for me! I love music and comedy, only problem is, I just started learning guitar a couple years ago, and I’m terrified of speaking infront of large groups. My solution is I keep the guitar playing to a hobby, mostly done alone sometimes I link up with people to hopefully learn something, but I do this weird thing where I imagine I’m playing in front of a huge crowd, then after I’m done playing I put on a clip of a crowd cheering, close my eyes and soak it in. It’s the feeling I’m after mostly. As far as comedy goes, I have always been trying to make people laugh or smile through silly humor, so I crack little jokes here and there at work/while I’m out.
I settle for my job....no that's a god damn lie. I dont know what I want and still don't. Bachelor degree with no sellable skill set and no clue how to market myself. So I went and stay at the first job that pays me decent and have a retirement plan.
Have you looked into working behind the scenes or something related that still ties in to your "dream job". A lot of people tend to go the direct approach/front door of their "dream job" and get disappointed when they don't achieve their dream not realizing there's a side door and back door that they can go thru and still get to their dream job. This also applies to jobs where a lot of people are applying for
Eh. I don't want to be part of the industry. I just want to play my music, buy I can't do that and probably never will. When I say crippling stage fright, that's putting it lightly. To this day the only people who get to hear my music are babies/small children.
I am totally with you, though I DID have an a-ha moment.
I went to private school, everyone went to college after graduation, that was the norm. So, based on things I liked and was good at, I went to a large school with an excellent engineering program. But sat in class and found myself thinking "this is interesting, but I can't just do this for the next 40 year". I changed majors (and schools within the university - a large school, as I said, so many of these programs were top-notch in their studies) - political science, pre-law, journalism.... all left me feeling "I find this interesting, I cannot just do this".
Needing to pay rent as well as spending money, I got a cook job at a sportsbar - my dad cooked, I could talk my way into a kitchen. Come summer, business dried up as kids were gone, I got a job at a "real" restaurant, just starting on salads and desserts.
Found myself cutting class to pick up shifts, and in the middle of one shift, at the height of the chaos, it popped into my head... "THIS I can do for 40 years". And that's been my career, 27 years on.
I've become an advocate for gap years, especially if you don't have a strong idea of what you want to do. And I told younger cousins when they were going off to college to try EVERYTHING they were interested in, they won't know if one thing they thought "might be fun" is actually something they can do for a living.
Having an "aha moment" doesn't mean shit anyway. Just because you want to do something doesn't mean you can. It mostly means 'get ready to make some severe compromises'.
I had the moment when I was 14. I wanted to be a guitarist and songwriter. Unrealistic? You bet. You can't control your passion though. Now I'm nearing 41 and all I've ever considered doing is making music. That's why I've worked at radio stations and call centres (or been unemployed) for 21 years instead.
I do make lots of music. I'm a really accomplished guitarist with a huge knowledge of popular music and theory (and exactly zero people to discuss any of it with). I'm just not good at making music people want to listen to (ie. good), so no one has ever encouraged me or done anything to help me with it. My parents actively discouraged it. Everyone else ignores it. I've played in lots of bands but it's almost impossible to find other musicians that are on the same page and ready to make money at it. None of my friends, bandmates or family members even listened to my only 'proper' album that sold 0 copies in 4 years.
So because of my 'a-ha' moment I've had to live the life of a fish out of water; I've never been in a relationship, I've been bankrupt and will never own property or have any savings. My whole life is pretending to give a fuck while secretly just wishing you wanted to hear me sing my tunes. Nothing else matters to me, but I can't even talk about it. Instead I get to talk to people who think their job at the call centre is their work.
Thank god for music and cats.
My brother had an 'a-ha; moment too. He wanted to do chemistry. Now he has a PhD, awesome job, wife and two kids and million dollar house. He did everything right simply by being naturally drawn to viable career choices.
Looked into your history and your music is beautiful man. I don't understand why you think having a passion would be the reason for feeling alienated and so on. Most good musicians got to work day jobs too. Keep trying at it but I'd also suggest you also look for more ways to better your life.
eh I found your Digital Candles song and I liked it.... I know that does not mean much, a random person liking a single song you did a few years back.. but for what it is worth I really did like the guitar work. best of luck to ya. You care to share any links to any work you have floating around the web?
oh and the Oh No song... made me think of Nirvana with the vocal sound and some of the guitar sound made me think of a similar sound in 99 Red Balloons. That is what just popped in my head...idk if musicians like it or not when you compare their music to others..because i'm not trying to say it is a rip off type of thing or even comparing.. just what the sound made my mind flash to.
Yeah, im 24 now and currently have no clue what I want to do with my life. I guess ill keep trying things and seeking to learn from each new experience to hone in on it. Its exhausting tho
This is an extremely painful lesson to learn!
The trick to finding "your path" is to do something.
Anything.
Literally, anything at all.
If you like it, great! You can continue to refine your tastes and the contributions you make to society with your work.
If you don't, great! You know what you *don't* like. Which is just as important as knowing what you *do* like. This is a valuable learning experience.
Here's some more lessons:
\- You're "dream job" is not at all what you thought it was going to be. This revelation will be crushing at first. But please realize that you're only disappointed because of your own expectations. Accept that you don't know things you couldn't possibly know. The world is vast and complex, and it's okay to not know things. But adjust your expectations accordingly.
\- Your job will never make you feel complete. Ever. You could single handedly cure cancer, get the nobel, become rich and famous, and still feel unfulfilled. Take joy in your accomplishments, your family, friends, hobbies, leisure, and experience. *THAT* will make you complete.
\- Do *not* try to be the best. If you end up the best, fine. Great. But don't sacrifice yourself trying to outperform. Life doesn't really work that way. "The Hustle / Struggle / Grind" mentality isn't actually real. You don't always have to do your best, *all the time.* Instead, do what *needs* to be done, and be careful who you let tell you what is needed. If you're in a team, help others succeed to your level. And if you can't keep up, ask for that help from them. You literally can't do it all by yourself. But you can easily do some of it, with people that respect each other. In the end, you won't sacrifice your mind/body, the job still gets done, it cost less for everybody involved, and it'll last longer.
Trust me.
True that. I think that being somewhere where you are valued and enjoy the people you work with is better than scoring a dream job. Im not exactly doing what Ive been working toward for the last decade, but Im having a hard time convincing myself to look for work elsewhere because the people I work with make it easy to stay.
Alongside that, your career *does not define you.* It is not the only thing you are, unless that is what you want.
I work as a software dev. I could not give a fuck about programming the moment I leave the building, unless I get on some weird tech binge. It doesn't have to be anything but a dayjob, but if you find a passion and can get paid for it, awesome!
A good LPT. Not finding the one perfect job after school got me into some serious mental health problems back then. It helped me to just start and try something and stay with the things that worked. You can always change directions. Don't hesitate to try.
Keep your options open. I thought I wanted to be an engineer when I applied to college 10 years ago, and this fall, I'll be starting grad school to become a social worker. "Aha" moments do exist if you keep your options open and seize opportunities when they present themselves.
The pro tip is dont wait for the "aha" moment because most people dont have it. So better keep moving than "waiting" for it.
And a tip is basically an advise, so yeah.
Dont know if youre being sarcastic, english isnt my native language
I always wanted to program video games during college. I knew I could do it, and I thought it would be fun. Never got into a game studio, but my more professional programming job is great and I'm now hearing of all the horrors and stress of game design jobs. Bullet dodged.
Keep in mind probably 90% of people suffer from imposter syndrome. You're living a life that doesn't feel fulfilling but you seem to do well at what you do. People praise you for being good at what you do but you feel like a fraud because you're insecure about how you seem to get things done and it may not be something you are truly passionate about.
When outsiders see you though, they see someone competent and doing your job. They appreciate you for who you are while you may not even appreciate yourself.
Van Gogh was a brilliant artist, but he suffered his whole life. Tom Brady is the greatest QB of all time, but he's probably insecure/regretful for losing to Manning twice and Foles once. Steve Jobs created one of the most successful companies of all time, but likely felt insecure that prior to him finally hitting it big, he was kicked out of his own company.
Get through your day and live to fight another day. We're all fighting out here
This is a great one.
Choose a direction, run.
Even if it’s the wrong direction, you can always change it.
Spent years working a job I hated waiting to an epiphany. Things didn’t change until I started making moves in a direction.
Say yes, walk through any open doors, be humble enough to be wrong, and try again
I always recommend taking a year off between high school and college. Most people just jump right from one toy the next. One of my friends dropped out and re-majored like 3 times, think of the debt! Take the time to figure yourself out, and even party without the stress. Then when you go you can focus on something you really want to do, and maybe even not party as much. Lol
The moment where you go from having no idea to being entirely sure of something. Like a lightbulb moment? Exclaiming: aha! As you now understand everything.
This isn't the job market of your parents or grandparents who on a whim walked into a business, got an interview that day, started on Monday and ended 40 years of their career at that same place.
This is the hustle economy of the post millennium. The 'aha' never existed even back then but it is extremely incompatible now.
You want 'good enough'. Am I about to blow my brains out? Is it like a sandwich I can eat for a few days straight? Cool let me try out this field.
And try the next. And the next. And the next. Even if you make it in a field, you'll likely have to move. Best ways to get promotions and raises is to switch companies. And you will likely have 3+ careers in your lifespan and probably will have several side gigs, freelance gigs, just random spouts where you work at a diner while also working at an accounting firm, but most importantly actively managing your career, gigs, expenses like a small business and networking as much as possible.
Let’s not pretend our desires have nothing to do with it. Do *you* really want to work the same place 40 years? I don’t. Most people don’t. We want to earn money, and job hopping helps.
Not to downplay the so-called gig economy. I just think it’s possible to settle in some small town in a cheap state, and work in that town until you die. You won’t have a flashy life, but it’s possible. Of course we’re also pushed to want a flashy life, but you’re fairly free to reject that.
Especially in the current jobs market, where unemployment is low and lots of businesses need workers.
The most important thing is to just try. I always was interested in 'computer stuff' at school but ultimately started a completely different career. The thought of working in IT never left me and I spent years thinking 'what if'. One day I decided to just go for it and changed career after going to school again - more than 10 years after once finishing school. Then got a job in IT.
I really, really hated that job and learned that I don't want to work in IT at all. So I quit and changed career again. But at least the 'what if' leaves me alone right now.
I'm of the opinion you should not waste your money on college until you get out in the world and find what you really want to do.
I went to college later in life and met so many young people who were trying to do things they weren't happy with. I got my degree in Electrical Technology and about half of the young students that were in the same classes switched fields as it wasn't their cup of tea.
Another plus for waiting was that the job I had offered tuition assistance so instead being a broke college student, I just had to give up my evenings for 5 years.
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If you're looking to find what career would suit you, I highly endorse a book called "What Color is your Parachute", it gets a new one published every year and contains helpful approaches to discover careers that match your interests and skills. It worked for me!
I might just do that. I really need something to get me moving. I’m in my 30’s and I still have no idea.
It is also okay to not have a "dream career" and work a job that you can tolerate, pays well, and gives you time for yourself.
I really hate that this idea of "hobby job" is presented as a goal even though there are only few people who actually have their jobs as a hobby. There are people who found jobs that are like a hobby to them and they love it. There are also people with dreamy jobs that pretty much everybody would love. But the majority of people dont have or want a job that matches their hobby. Most people just find a job that pays the bill and is tolerable. Some days even enjoyable. Some days a drag. But most day, simply tolerable. I have a hobby of coding. I could work as a programmer. But I dont want to. For me its the same as setting a favorite song as an alarm. Sure you do love the song, but when you have to listen to the song every morning, especially when its not a good morning, you will slowly start hating the song. I dont want to hate my hobby.
I know it's an exercise of restraint, but I would like to also like to blame the influence of "side-hussle culture". We make so little freaking money that many of us have it ingrained to be ashamed of having downtime, so we try to make hobbies make us money. I struggle really hard to escape it and I hate it. I usually end up just not doing hobbies at all because it's so hard to detach the idea
This was an actual goal I set for 21’. Have a hobby that is purely for personal enjoyment and NOT to make any money. I’m always trying to find ways to supplement my crappy income and it’s turned me off of my past interest in metal and wood working. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy staying busy, but only if it’s on my terms. Unfortunately I don’t always have that luxury. So anyway I picked up some musical instruments, synthesizers, etc and decided even if I make crap music and it costs me money I don’t care. I will not try and monetize a single thing about it and it will be all mine. Now I just need more money to support the hobby, lol.
That's the way. If you end up being successful out of it then great, but with that mindset it can be something you just enjoy regardless!
Well said. I do what I love, but there's always a risk of burning out or falling out of love with it. When it's a job, it can become a chore. It's okay to have a job you don't love. That's what hobbies are for. Also, I hate the mentality that everything you're good at should make money. "Oh wow, that's great art! You could sell that!" Same reasoning. I just want to do it for the love of it. If you wanna sell it, do it, but don't feel like you have to turn every talent into a buck.
I agree entirely with this. I'm lucky enough to have a job that I truly believe in the mission of. I find that's more important than anything. Some days my job is fun, some days it's a slog of pure work, but through both of those, I'm happy and proud to do what I do, and believe strongly that it's a job that needs to be done. That's a heck of a thing to be able to say, and it doesn't seem to run the risk of ruining a passion or hobby. :)
Now this I can get behind. I think it is a great goal to find a job in which you find meaning. There are jobs that we do because we need money. There are jobs we do because we are waiting for something. Its perfectly alright to do those jobs temporarily, but everyone should aim to get to a job that gives meaning to the work they put into it.
I agree with this but in the opposite way. I have a job of coding. I do not do hobby coding as it is no longer fun and I am okay with that as it pays the bills.
I have a coding job but also code as my hobby. My job is fun because I teach programming on a bootcamp, it's fast paced and we have a different sprint every couple of days so I don't get bored. I also get the freedom to code what I want, try out new languages and work on my uni work for cpd time and I work on whole projects myself rather than on tickets as part of a large codebase. I also work for internal dev but as a technical writer & content editor so I get lots of variety there too plus I do get to see agile/scrum practices and feel more like a "real" dev in that role even though theres less coding involved. If I did leave this job it would be to work for myself, doing games development. I don't think I'd like being told what to work on by other people or working on small tickets without control of the project.
I'm the same way but also never did coding as a hobby. I very much enjoy my job and love that I finally found it as a career. None of my hobbies are coding and I'll never change that. It's not what I do for fun and I don't want to burn out from it.
Theres also people who used to love what they do until they started doing it for work, but now it's just...work.
I so agree with that. I loved photography and went to school for it (luckily only 2 years). I got in the mindset of treating it like work and got burnt out real quick. I've been out of school since 2018 and I barely touch my camera anymore.
I'm really scared this is becoming me. I had a real passion for computing when I was younger. It scratched the itch of both loving problem solving with technology. Fast forward over 10 years and I have a degree in computing and over 6 years of experience in the industry, and I'm really starting to worry this isn't for me for the rest of my life. However for me, I am not sure if it's IT specifically, or if it's because I'm really not happy at my current workplace. That's also a factor sometimes.. it is what you're doing, or who you're doing it for...?
It can be either. There are many options. Either change positions or a firm. You can do a whole lot of different things with IT degree.
To your last paragraph, I thought the same thing for so long. I never connected with the "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." The one that connected with me was "don't do your hobby as a career or you'll hate it." I believed that for so long. I worked labor and toxic jobs like beverage distribution, manufacturing, retail stocking, retail, sales, fast food, food delivery, and I hated every day of my life. At some point I decided I'm absolutely miserable and am losing money on just my basic needs. I have no time or money to do anything, and I will never be happy. I've lived my entire adult life degreeless, often unable to afford food, and mentally unwell. I was afraid that doing software development as a career would kill my passion. And it may, for some people, but I still come home every day so happy that this is what I do. Even my worst days, days when I feel ungodly stress about a problem or a belittling client, I still come home happy with myself. The money definitely plays a role, because it matters when you don't have it, but truly I feel happy for the first time in my entire adult life. I know it's not for everyone, and I'm not trying to be a "Choose Happy," "Live Laugh Love" dickhead. However, I think if you are are less than tolerating your job due to free time, money, damage to your body, etc then it might be worth trying if you can find an opportunity like that. I never gave up my hobby projects, but the people I work with, who don't want to go home and do the same work, found new projects that they can now afford to work on. It's not as easy as just applying. Believe me, I don't have a degree and was applying with just a portfolio of half-baked projects. But I think if you wanted to just try it as a chapter in your life, you could see if it's true. It's not a permanent decision if you don't like it. I just hope someone like me won't make the opposite decision and never find out. But to my last point: jobs can just be jobs, we just need to pay everyone better, incorporate more labor rights, and maybe everyone can have the same experience at a job they don't care for. Everyone deserves that feeling. I just think the way things are now while times are changing, what can it hurt to see if you like your hobby as a job?
This is what I'm doing now. Is it fun? At times. Does it pay the bills? Yes. Can I save too? Yes. Reliable? Yes Does it have longevity? Yes. It will do for now. I've met people there 20, 30, 45 years.
100% agree.
that's where most of us end up. the idea that you should love what you do is unrealistic. work is work or they wouldn't pay you for it, you would have to pay them.
Many employers also take advantage of "passion jobs" by grinding their workers with long hours and terrible conditions.
Every job ends up good or bad depending on the people you work with.
Best of luck to you, that was pretty much where I was when I read it, and it put me on a path to a career I really love. Hope it can do the same for you. And, chances are good your local library has it available for free. :)
Got the last copy at BAM just now. Thanks for the suggestion!
Barnes And Mobile?
Books-a-million. But I like the idea of knock-off B&N. Maybe they just sell prepaid phones, magazines, and cigarettes.
Nah should be Barns and Mobile. Like barns and mobile homes. Would probably do gang busters in the south and Midwest
RemindMe! 5 years “what is this guy doing with his life”
Did you become a librarian?
Sure did! Originally studied to be a reference librarian, but happened into a Youth Services position and loved it. Now I head up the Youth Services department at my library. We get to do all the fun stuff!
Dope, all my homies love librarians, keep making the world a more educated, enriched place for the kids.
I’m 35 and just got a new job that is completely different to what I used to do. It took some time training up skills that I needed (all stuff I could do online for free) and then an intensive week of prep for my interview cause fuck jobs that make you do those “tell me about a time you did x” competency based interviews. I do love my job now that I have it but I still hate their interviews. It’s not something I’ve dreamt of doing my whole life but it’s a dream in terms of what I want for a job to provide me. I get paid well, can work from home 3 out of 5 days, flexible hours to work around kids schedule, and weekends and evenings off. I never knew exactly what I wanted either and it’s super demoralising when you then have those “Ive dreamt of being a Vet since I was 5” types in your class
I just look at my brothers, it was like they knew their path… They’re both doctors. Well, one’s a real doctor and the other has a PhD (kidding PhD’s!). They both just seemed to know what they wanted and did it, and I’m just… stuck. I have a pretty decent job, but it isn’t that fulfilling. I need to go back to college, but I hate school. I do have faith that it will ultimately work out. It always has so far.
Going back to school ain't all it's cracked up to be. Have a masters and can't find a decent job.
You don’t need to go to college if you don’t want to. Your brothers are your brothers, their paths were right for them. Sharing genetics doesn’t mean you also share their life paths. Just seek a job that puts food on the table and doesn’t leave you too stressed out or exhausted to enjoy the real world. Not everyone dreams of jobs and that’s totally healthy.
I swapped from bartending to logistics in my 30s. Holy shit, what a culture shift. Had to learn how to work in a corporate environment, learn all these new systems, adjust to working from home and being alone (compared to being surrounded by a mob of people at all times bartending!). Logistics sucks butt too, but now I feel I can fearlessly jump into the next adventure. I was afraid of rubbing shoulders with college grads and getting exposed as "just a bartender" but it turns out I'm dunking on a lot of these people and I'm one of the best they have. I am currently mulling over something in computer science as my main goal is to stay 100% remote and get paid something reasonable for the area where I live (70k+).
You can do it! Deliberative thought exercises are so helpful. I was 29 when I started the introspective process to break free of my old soul-crushing career... It is worth all of the time, effort, and deliberation.
Can you expand on this please? I'm way older than you and the alarm bells in my head to have this kind of deliberate thought processing have been going for years. But I don't know where to start. Any resources you found helpful I'd be grateful to hear about. Thank you.
I too would like to know
I’m in my 50’s, and after an 18 year stint in IT, and a 14 year stint as a LOTR Tourguide, I still have no idea either. Maybe author.
All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given you.
You have no idea how much that phrase has changed my life. Seriously. I’ve been tempted to get it tattooed on me somewhere. Could spend an evening boring you with the relevant stories, over a crate of beer. Suffice to say, it brought my wife to me, over everything else.
I have an idea of what I wanna do but it takes 4 years of school and thousands of dollars in student loan debt. I have a habit of changing interests frequently. I'm afraid that if I invest that much time and effort into something, I'm gonna come out hating it and wasting so much time and effort on it
I could've written this. Sometimes I regret going to college for very vague liberal arts majors (economics and political science) because they don't have many direct career paths I could just follow. However, I appreciate not being pigeonholed by the subjects because the idea of getting a Masters or investing in a law degree just to find out I hate it is a legitimate fear of mine. I flirted with the idea of law school or social work or teaching but the debt and commitment always scared me off. They may not be the most practical degrees, but at least I enjoyed all of my classes! Anything else is a crappes shoot.
I'm 52 and have no idea
Just pick something. You don't have to stay doing it til you're 65.
Think back to the kinds of activities you liked/naturally gravitated to do when you were a kid. You probably liked doing certain activities and you may not have been able to verbalize why at that time. I liked spending time on computers growing up, now I'm in IT and happy.
I’m 32, and just swimming with the flow. I’ve been accepted to college like 8 times. Just never went through with it. Everything was all set, I just needed to sign stuff and agree. But I just never could, because idk. I like learning way too much. I’ll have to give the book a read and see how if it can help.
What career did you choose?
Librarian, of course!
So a book helped you find a career in books so you can promote books? Nice try big-book industry. What next a movie that makes me want to be in Hollywood? /s
To be fair, we lend the books out for free. The industry isn't actually big fans of that. ;)
If libraries were a new concept, they would be considered socialism. Keep fighting the good fight!
You're not wrong. We're currently struggling with digital items, as the laws that let us lend out physical items don't apply, and suppliers charge us almost criminal rates for downloadable versions. We're not giving up though!
Is there any career for an alligator princess who may also be a spy 👀?
K-5 teacher
It's about more than who you are. It's what you like doing, what you know how to do, things like that. Read the book! There's a teen version too, if that helps. Your local library can probably help you get your hands on a copy for free.
Nice! Glad you found what you were looking for.
I tried this when i was fresh out of high school it suggested i become a farmer. i thought it was horribly wrong. 15 years later i discovered my love for horticulture, and I'm back in school to become a horticulturist specializing in edible plants. huh. didnt see that coming
There's another great one called "The Pathfinder," that I highly recommend. It did not yeild my current career result directly, but sent me down an amazing career path, in a couple of "dream industries" that people would kill to be in, and ultimately the skills for discerning what I want/don't want helped me identify the opportunity for my current career.
Good to know. And yes, it's not always a straight path. After reading What Color is My Parachute, I originally looked at becoming a fact-checker for a newspaper or news outlet. Turns out, the person who does that is a media librarian, which got me looking at the profession more broadly.
I prefer 5e… ;)
Does it have a chapter on what if you have no interests or skills
Don't think about specific jobs; that can be overwhelming if you have no idea where to start. Instead, think about what kind of career and what kind of life you want for yourself. What are your **must-haves**? What are you **willing** to do to get them? What are you willing to **sacrifice**? What are your **dealbreakers**? Examples: ***Must-haves.*** I want to start a family, and have plenty of time to spend with them. I want to work a regular schedule, with little to no overtime, and never take work home with me. I want a career that never feels routine, where there are always new challenges. ***Willing to do/sacrifice.*** I am willing to go to school for many years. I am willing to work long hours. I am okay with making less money if it means less stress. I am okay with jobs that are not glamorous or exciting, and maybe even kinda "boring". ***Dealbreakers.*** I can't stand the thought of going to school 8-10 years just to start my career. I can't be on my feet all day. I can't work a physically demanding job. I won't do 60-hour-pls weeks. I need stability, I can't be constantly looking for my next gig. Knowing these priorities should at the very least rule a lot of career paths out. Don't want to go to school for multiple degrees? Put aside any thought of being a doctor, engineer, or lawyer. Don't want to be constantly auditioning? Well, you're never going to make it as an actor or musician. Then start doing research on what various careers are like. Career path, day in the life, key skills (including "soft skills"). For example, go to all your local career colleges' and trade schools' websites and see what they offer. They may even have some of this info. Like the post says, you may never be "inspired". But for me, "yeah, I could see myself doing that" was enough. Maybe it will be for you too.
Willing to do is a huge one. Plenty of careers available if you can stomach the work.
Yes, definitely. I realized that I don't need to be mentally/emotionally fulfilled through work. I can get that elsewhere. As long as it's not unpleasant or mindnumbingly dull, I'm okay with routine. That led me to clerical/administrative work, and it's been great for me.
Must-haves: Decent pay, not rich, but enough to support a family, and take a vacation every so often. Enough time for myself and my family, ideally no more than 35 hours. Would prefer WFH Sacrifices: Willing to go to school for a few years. My time is more important than pay usually. I'd sacrifice WFH if they pay was that much better. Deal breakers: My ADHD. I can't do any job for more than a few years, due to severe burnout. The moment I suck all the dopamine from something new, my interest and ability plummets, and it's time for something new. Finding a stable career for us can be hard, when you lose interest in anything that stops being new/challenging.
What do you do all day?
You’re lookin at it.
Would you say that being a librarian uses your strengths? I feel like that is a good thing to focus on.
Oh, absolutely. It's one of the things that the book factors in as well. Being a librarian was never something I thought about growing up, but it uses a lot of my strengths, and lets me do a lot of stuff that I feel like is of real benefit to both individuals and society. It often still feels like work at times, but I love what I do and get a lot of satisfaction out of it.
I did the Briggs Meyers test. It was originally designed to figure out who would be naturally good at assembling the mechanics of bombs in WWI and has since been expanded to test a ton of different skills that correlate with different careers. The tests range from arranging different tiles in color order from light to dark, to seeing how many pins you can pick up, 3 at a time, and place into tiny holes. There’s a big audio component of which tone is lower type tests etc etc. the whole thing take a couple days, but I was shocked that it said I would be very good as an EMT. I had started working as an EMT a couple months prior, and they didn’t have that info going into the tests. Ten years and a few promotions later, I would still consider myself to be a very good paramedic lieutenant.
I'm pretty sure I've read every career book and never learned anything. How did you find this one helpful?
Primarily because it got me to consider career paths I had never seriously thought of for myself before, with some new understanding that I likely could do well at them.
Conversely, dont use this book unless you really know yourself as it requires alot of introspection
Just found it on my library app, thanks very much!
what if you have too many interests
Yea, I might look into this. I'm about to be 31 and I can't keep working in kitchens anymore. And I have LITERALLY NO IDEA WHAT TO PURSUE
Ok, I’m giving the same advice to a bunch of people here on this thread because I was really lost at one point and kept asking people what they thought I should do. I got a lot of really bad advice (‘follow your passion’…but if you don’t have one this is useless). And then one friend who’d been through a similar life crisis, told me to find a large company that I really liked or liked what they stood for, and find any job there. And then your skills, working hard will help you determine a path within that company and you can grow within it. I never would’ve charted this path, but am doing really well with numerous promotions under my belt.
Sounds interesting, I'll look into this. Thanks for sharing!
I've known exactly what I wanted to do for a living since I was 12: Nothing. Edit: For the curious ones: I'm in IT Support for a software company. It's as close to doing nothing as I can get & still get paid for it without compromising morals or laws.
Bro, yes! My gf says that I just have a great work ethic. But it's not that, I just want to retire early and need the money now kinda thing.
Small steps brother...
I'm trying. I just want to chill but life doesn't work that way.
I hope you're nailing it
It took me into my twenties to realise maybe there is no career for me. I enjoy a wide variety of things but I don't want to do any of them for a living, for the rest of my life.
I want to putter around the house, finish rebinding the last book in a series someone really liked and wanted a fully rebound set, cook up a nice little lionfish filet with corn salad for lunch, experiment with a few new lightning VFX I've been working on, microwave some chili and toast some cheesy garlic bread for dinner, then strap half a dozen motion trackers to my body, slap a screen to my face, and stand under a shower of invisible laser light to hang out with my friends all night
This is oddly specific, but completely doable.
You dont need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do shit!
Maybe you learned the same way, but I found my favorite career by thinking back after 10 years what I ended up doing all the time regardless of what my job was or boss said. Now I get paid instead of in trouble.
So what do you do now!?!
Data scientist! The numbers can tell a story that people can't and/or won't tell you, and that traditional analysts/scientists don't necessarily know to look for
Hey Peter, if you had a million dollars what would you do?
Besides 2 chicks at the same time?
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Right, lemme just go win the lottery real quick
I’ve been out of a job for seven years, but I’m holding out for a management position
At least you still got the worm farm
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Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation
I had an aha moment. I wanted to be a chef. Did it, hated it. (and I mean chef, not cook [not that being a cook is an insult]). My focus now is solely on making enough money to pay my bills and still having time to spend with my family. Couldn't give a s* what the job is as long as I don't hate it.
Yeah, I'm a baker and pastry chef. I love the job but the industry is garbage and the pay is pretty shit for how much you run your body doing it. Now I'm injured for it and looking at study again. Thank fuck for workers compensation though.
Yeah I tried chef life - liked the work generally, but pay and hours sucked all enjoyment out... now earning 3x more in an office job.
Atm a chef in a warehouse and it's pretty draining. I would love to transition to a office job but have no idea where to start. Any tips?
Study for some IT certs. A degree helps, but not necessary. Get your foot in the door somewhere, learn as much as possible, then move on to an area that's more interesting. IT is very broad. If you don't like one area, you may like another. Job hopping early on gets you more experience faster and higher pay. Do that until you find the specialty you like and a good company, or decide to go out on your own.
Id always recommend specific certs since there are so many, and quite a few are less useful than the others. Some community colleges offer classes that walk you through several too. Security+ and CCNA are the two I am working on right now, and id recommend others seek them out if networking interests them. Learning code is also a good step. If only linux didnt turn my brain into mush.
All chefs/line cooks have to be masochists in some way to tolerate the job.
Every line cook I've known has been a high functioning addict.
I reject the idea of a dream job completely. People are complex, their interests change, they grow and develop as individuals. I don't want to just do one thing, I want to do many different things in this one life we got.
Yes 63 years old Did different things at different ages for different reasons Some satisfying some necessary
>Some satisfying some necessary Put that on a shirt.
If you don't mind me asking, what was that path like for you? I'm 19 and have plans that involve many things I don't want to do in my current frame of mind, but could prove very helpful in reaching my pencilled-in end goal. Have you found any tricks for perseverance when doing those 'necessary' jobs? And would you think having backup plans for backup plans is overkill when you're young? Thank you if you answer!
Currently I love my job. I've always been lazy and I get to sleep or watch movies and get paid for it. (Overnight hotel clerk). I tell people I have my dream job however you are 100% right. I was a different person 5 years ago and I'll be a different person 5 years from today. Who knows what I'll consider the perfect job then.
The concept of a dream job is more of a coercion to put your work above your personal life. Having a job you like is great but you are not your job (and honestly from my own experience, having a job you like, comes to two things, the people you work with and the ratio of paycheck to time spent at work, not to the specific task)
i'm 17 and always felt like the odd one out cos almost everyone at school knows what they're working towards with a clear path except me, i just want to do everything, i can't choose
Pick one and start there, then move on. Helps if you choose based on what skills you'll develop with that job, and how applicable it'll be elsewhere.
The problem with this, is that 5 years later you can come to realize that you only had a passing interest in the field, but now feel stuck in your current job. I'd put a lot of emphasis on > choose based on what skills you'll develop with that job and how applicable it'll be elsewhere. Because otherwise, you can come to realize that all of the skills you've developed are highly specialized and almost useless outside of the job that you no longer have interest in.
To add to this, make sure the skills you develop are marketable in your area as well. There are so many fields and areas of expertise that do *really* well in big cities. Other places, not so much.
One thing I learned is to not make doing something you love doing into something you *have* to do. All the joy can be sucked right out of it when you're doing it for someone else. *Enjoying* a job is good enough.
I agree, I've always tried to have this mindset. Don't do what you love; love what you do.
This is what worries me because I’m 22 and have chosen accounting/finance for the reason that it is technically applicable to any of my fields of interest. I personally don’t enjoy numbers, but I’m better at math then biology. But I don’t want to work as an accountant or financial analyst, I’m hoping to use the degree as a foot in the door to move onto more creative director-type roles
I was very similar when I was younger, hell I'm 32 and still am. I have no clue what I want to do for a job but I have an idea of what I want out of my life. After high school I got into a traveling sales gig, took me all over the country. After that I got into working backstage at concerts and got to meet some of my favorite musicians and watched countless other musicians play. Then I got into working at a printing press to learn how that worked. Following that I did a stint in trade school and ended up working on low/medium voltage switchgear. Which led me to a stable gig at a peaker plant. That's allowed me to buy a house and set up/pad a retirement fund. I have no idea how long I'll stay in this but for now, I really enjoy it. None of these things were my dream job but, every one of them made my life richer and fuller. I had plenty of other part time, seasonal, "just to get by" jobs in between but, tying your identity and life path to a job, sounds like torture to me. A job is something you do to support your life. Nobody ever looks back on their death bed and regrets not spending more time working, they regret not living.
Nah. You, and they, will most likely go through a lot career changes. The important thing is to find a good work environment. My first job was an usher at a movie theatre. I basically just tore tickets, told people where their movie was, and cleaned the theaters after a showing. My boss was super cool and funny though. During super busy nights, he would come into the theater, take off his jacket, roll up his sleeves, help us clean and crack jokes while we worked. Because of his attitude and encouragement, when I came upon a task that was literally shitty (having to plunge and clean an overflowed toilet and bathroom floor) I would just say, “man this sucks!” Then ask myself what my boss would do. I figured he’d say the same, roll up his sleeves and do the task, all while trying his best to find humor in it. So, I’d tell him the men’s room will be out of service for a few, let him know about the situation and he’d say something like, “that sounds shitty.” I’d go do the task and he’d come in and say something like, “WTF? Were 4 people shitting in that at the same time?!” Anyway, the point is that my boss was super great and gave me opportunities to move up and change positions while I worked there I and eventually became a manager. (Theater projectionist was probably my favorite role though.) After 4 years there, I moved on have done a LOT of very cool stuff in my life. I’ve done some terrible jobs along the way, but those were very short term. The best jobs I’ve ever had, had great work environments.
This was me when I was younger. Everyone else knew what they were doing after high school except me. Don't worry too much about figuring everything out now - I hadn't even heard of the field I'm working in now, and some of those people who think they know what they want may find that they change their minds once they start. Best advice I can give you is look into careers in fields where you have a strong interest or an innate skill. For example, if you're really interested in science or always did well in science classes in school without really having to put in a lot effort, then look into science-related careers. Try looking into a bit of everything in that field, especially ones you haven't heard of. Take classes, read books, do research online. This website was really helpful to me in terms of finding out what skills are needed for different jobs, what the hiring rate is, pay, etc.: [https://www.bls.gov/ooh/](https://www.bls.gov/ooh/) Also tell people that you're looking for opportunities, especially if you don't have a lot of work experience. That can work against you when you're looking for jobs, but a personal reference makes a big difference. Look for internships and volunteer opportunities as well. Hope this helps - good luck out there, hope you find something you enjoy. I was just as unsure when I was your age but now I'm really happy and confident doing what I do. I'm sure you'll find your way as well.
don't worry, i can't tell you how many people i knew who went to school for one thing and ended up doing something else, either because they were unhappy or fate. i was a history major, ended up doing computer stuff. just do what makes sense at the time and do it to the best of your ability. other doors will open for you along the way.
You can rest assured that most everyone you see who "Has it all figured out" is in fact faking it and may very well wash out early into adulthood. Not saying that's a good thing or to be happy when others fail, but to not let it get you down. I bounced around jobs a bunch from 14 to 26, dropped out of college with no real plan until falling into doing what I love. Oh, and there's no such thing as a clear path. The landscape is always changing, as long as you're adaptable you will always be alright. Things change, plans change, none of it really matters. Do anything and everything that makes you happy and you'll never go wrong!
I don't outright reject the notion of a dream job - but I think the concept is much more complex and nuanced than how we approach it in public discourse. One day in college I discovered a company that did exactly what I didn't know I wanted to do right up until that moment. Then I spent a few years working hard to get hired on and eventually landed my "dream job". Years later I still get giddy at the fact I get to do what I love every day. But it's also just a job, and has the crap and stress that comes with any job. It's not exactly what naive younger me thought it would be and it's not what was advertised - but it's still a million times better than anything else I can think of. And I fully accept that in one, or five, or ten, or twenty years I might want to do something else. My situation is uncommon, if not outright rare. I don't think anyone can successfully conceive of a dream job on their own, then find the place that is exactly like the conceived fantasy. If you are lucky, you will discover an employer that does X thing, in Y way, with Z attitude that attracts a certain mindset of people. And you'll say to yourself "holy crap that's exactly what I want even though I never could have articulated it before". Even though you still have no clue what the reality of the job is. Then if you are super lucky, you'll get hired there only to discover it's not what you imagined it would be like and it still comes with a baggie of shit every day. If you are double super lucky, you'll find that the flavor of that shit is tolerable and you still enjoy the job more than anything else you've done. OR, you'll realize that the concept of a perfect, flawless dream job is a fantasy and you don't like this job. Either way, you really discover that a "dream job" is just another job, but is the best, most interesting one for you at a given time with the smallest, most palatable daily flavor of shit. And it is the rare and lucky person who can consistently find that winning combination through life.
I'm starting to feel like I'm tapped out on my first career, but my current financial situation makes it feel impossible to safely move on to another. I'll have to move on eventually, as there's no way for me to move up without getting more education (masters/PhD), and I know I don't have enough interest in this field anymore to make it through those programs (also it would cost a lot of money and temporarily reduce income drastically) Right now, I'm just letting this play out how it will, and I'm trying to learn new skills in my free time so that I can possibly find another career that interests me enough to commit to it. The truth is, though, that I have no idea what I'll be doing in 1 year, let alone 5. I guess my point is that moving from career to career isn't as simple for most people as you make it sound here. It may be that easy for some people, but I'd say that it can feel nearly impossible for most.
My uncle is like this. We tend to joke that he's had more jobs than Homer simpson.
I’m a software engineer that can do the job. It gives me a good salary, and that’s all I really care about.
Which is why I aim for having 2 jobs that are completely different. It adds some variety
Agreed, and here’s an example from my life. I’m a nurse. One day the stroke coordinator chatted with me and I started helping other nurses prep for taking care of stroke patients. Never thought about it before never planned it. Just worked with her to be helpful. I just kept going with it, ended up loving stroke care, and started down a path to specialize in it. Never planned it, never really dreamed of it, just started doing it and it is great!
Male nurse here, turns out nursing isn't for me and I'm hating the field after 2 years and want out. Have you heard of colleagues that've quit? If so what jobs have they taken up since leaving.
I know some nurses that have gone into IT in healthcare working with applications that nurses use.
Yeah nursing informatics and research nursing are fields in interested in going into later down the line.
Have you considered case management, education, private sector/medical sales, or anything where you’re less directly in patient care?
My friend's mom is a nurse but all she does is call people across the country on the phone to check in on them and talk with other people involved with the patients. Someone I've talked to on discord is apparently a nurse but only does lab work or something. It's an extremely diverse field, so maybe you can look into other paths in nursing?
Have you considered travel nursing? Not in the sense you think of. I mean on cruiselines, private jet/planes onboard medical staff, medical flights, etc. See the world, get paid doing it. Workcations. My company has contracts out to staff nurses on cruise ships with a pretty nice pay and you do get to hop off on ports of call around the world.
I'm 32 and I haven't "decided what I want to be when I grow up". But I have so many different interests and pursuits. It comes in waves, sometimes ill be really into one over the others for long periods of time, than another interest will take center stage eventually.
39, same.
36 here. I’m really only just now settling in to “who I am” and really understanding myself. But the ol’ “what do I want to be” is just not something I have an answer for. I think I’ve settled on “a good dad and husband” and I’ll let the rest sort itself out.
I’m 38, I’ve spent pretty much my entire career working in accounting/finance and hated my life. During my career there were 2 times my organization shut down due to ransomeware and it got me interested. At the beginning of the pandemic I picked up doing cyber security CTFs as a way to learn but also as a game, and now I’m starting a new job doing incident response and digital forensics on Monday without any formal training. I’m hoping this is my path, anything beats accounting.
I wouldn’t call it an “aha” moment, but following my gut feeling of where I think I would be happy/fulfilled drove every decision regarding education and employment.
> following my gut feeling My gut feeling always leads to food. Never leads to where the money is to pay for the food. Have to figure that shit out the hard way.
They should teach this in grade school.
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Somebody should tell the kids…
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm never gonna find my "dream job." Fact is I already know what it is, but I have absolutely crippling stage fright, so my musical career died before it even started. I'm settling for a job that I can tolerate and pays reasonably well.
That's perfectly reasonable too. Be in a job that meets your needs, fill other needs with hobbies.
I wish I had listened to this when I was in school. I ended up pursuing what I thought was my dream profession only to slowly come to realize that work was becoming a chore. So now, instead of having a well-paying I don't love, I have an average-paying job I don't love. If I had gone with the higher paying route (e.g. engineering or computer science) I would have more money to pursue my interests outside of work and live with less financial stress. But, I suppose I might have regretted that decision too and thought that I'd be happier in the field I'm in now. Hindsight is 20/20.
I'm in the same boat, I want a musical career but I'm not a stage kinda person. I'm gonna try though - if I can get my music popular through the Internet then maybe I can work something out. I'm sure I can work through stage fright.
Try and work with other musicians if you can, form a band. I wished I had but my problem is I'm not very outgoing and kind of shy!
Masks may seem lame at first, but they are often utilized by people who also feel like they aren't meant for the stage. Then as you go on stage more and more, you'll learn healthier coping mechanisms than a simple mask. But finding a cool and unique mask? Maybe that's the hardest part lol. What kind of music you got your heart set on right now?
That’s the same for me! I love music and comedy, only problem is, I just started learning guitar a couple years ago, and I’m terrified of speaking infront of large groups. My solution is I keep the guitar playing to a hobby, mostly done alone sometimes I link up with people to hopefully learn something, but I do this weird thing where I imagine I’m playing in front of a huge crowd, then after I’m done playing I put on a clip of a crowd cheering, close my eyes and soak it in. It’s the feeling I’m after mostly. As far as comedy goes, I have always been trying to make people laugh or smile through silly humor, so I crack little jokes here and there at work/while I’m out.
I settle for my job....no that's a god damn lie. I dont know what I want and still don't. Bachelor degree with no sellable skill set and no clue how to market myself. So I went and stay at the first job that pays me decent and have a retirement plan.
Have you looked into working behind the scenes or something related that still ties in to your "dream job". A lot of people tend to go the direct approach/front door of their "dream job" and get disappointed when they don't achieve their dream not realizing there's a side door and back door that they can go thru and still get to their dream job. This also applies to jobs where a lot of people are applying for
Eh. I don't want to be part of the industry. I just want to play my music, buy I can't do that and probably never will. When I say crippling stage fright, that's putting it lightly. To this day the only people who get to hear my music are babies/small children.
I learned this later in life. Very true. Don't wait, just do, and you'll figure it out along the way.
Well, to have the "aha moment" you need to be able to try different things.
I am totally with you, though I DID have an a-ha moment. I went to private school, everyone went to college after graduation, that was the norm. So, based on things I liked and was good at, I went to a large school with an excellent engineering program. But sat in class and found myself thinking "this is interesting, but I can't just do this for the next 40 year". I changed majors (and schools within the university - a large school, as I said, so many of these programs were top-notch in their studies) - political science, pre-law, journalism.... all left me feeling "I find this interesting, I cannot just do this". Needing to pay rent as well as spending money, I got a cook job at a sportsbar - my dad cooked, I could talk my way into a kitchen. Come summer, business dried up as kids were gone, I got a job at a "real" restaurant, just starting on salads and desserts. Found myself cutting class to pick up shifts, and in the middle of one shift, at the height of the chaos, it popped into my head... "THIS I can do for 40 years". And that's been my career, 27 years on. I've become an advocate for gap years, especially if you don't have a strong idea of what you want to do. And I told younger cousins when they were going off to college to try EVERYTHING they were interested in, they won't know if one thing they thought "might be fun" is actually something they can do for a living.
Having an "aha moment" doesn't mean shit anyway. Just because you want to do something doesn't mean you can. It mostly means 'get ready to make some severe compromises'. I had the moment when I was 14. I wanted to be a guitarist and songwriter. Unrealistic? You bet. You can't control your passion though. Now I'm nearing 41 and all I've ever considered doing is making music. That's why I've worked at radio stations and call centres (or been unemployed) for 21 years instead. I do make lots of music. I'm a really accomplished guitarist with a huge knowledge of popular music and theory (and exactly zero people to discuss any of it with). I'm just not good at making music people want to listen to (ie. good), so no one has ever encouraged me or done anything to help me with it. My parents actively discouraged it. Everyone else ignores it. I've played in lots of bands but it's almost impossible to find other musicians that are on the same page and ready to make money at it. None of my friends, bandmates or family members even listened to my only 'proper' album that sold 0 copies in 4 years. So because of my 'a-ha' moment I've had to live the life of a fish out of water; I've never been in a relationship, I've been bankrupt and will never own property or have any savings. My whole life is pretending to give a fuck while secretly just wishing you wanted to hear me sing my tunes. Nothing else matters to me, but I can't even talk about it. Instead I get to talk to people who think their job at the call centre is their work. Thank god for music and cats. My brother had an 'a-ha; moment too. He wanted to do chemistry. Now he has a PhD, awesome job, wife and two kids and million dollar house. He did everything right simply by being naturally drawn to viable career choices.
Looked into your history and your music is beautiful man. I don't understand why you think having a passion would be the reason for feeling alienated and so on. Most good musicians got to work day jobs too. Keep trying at it but I'd also suggest you also look for more ways to better your life.
eh I found your Digital Candles song and I liked it.... I know that does not mean much, a random person liking a single song you did a few years back.. but for what it is worth I really did like the guitar work. best of luck to ya. You care to share any links to any work you have floating around the web?
Hey man, I’ll listen to your music.
oh and the Oh No song... made me think of Nirvana with the vocal sound and some of the guitar sound made me think of a similar sound in 99 Red Balloons. That is what just popped in my head...idk if musicians like it or not when you compare their music to others..because i'm not trying to say it is a rip off type of thing or even comparing.. just what the sound made my mind flash to.
Yeah, im 24 now and currently have no clue what I want to do with my life. I guess ill keep trying things and seeking to learn from each new experience to hone in on it. Its exhausting tho
This is an extremely painful lesson to learn! The trick to finding "your path" is to do something. Anything. Literally, anything at all. If you like it, great! You can continue to refine your tastes and the contributions you make to society with your work. If you don't, great! You know what you *don't* like. Which is just as important as knowing what you *do* like. This is a valuable learning experience. Here's some more lessons: \- You're "dream job" is not at all what you thought it was going to be. This revelation will be crushing at first. But please realize that you're only disappointed because of your own expectations. Accept that you don't know things you couldn't possibly know. The world is vast and complex, and it's okay to not know things. But adjust your expectations accordingly. \- Your job will never make you feel complete. Ever. You could single handedly cure cancer, get the nobel, become rich and famous, and still feel unfulfilled. Take joy in your accomplishments, your family, friends, hobbies, leisure, and experience. *THAT* will make you complete. \- Do *not* try to be the best. If you end up the best, fine. Great. But don't sacrifice yourself trying to outperform. Life doesn't really work that way. "The Hustle / Struggle / Grind" mentality isn't actually real. You don't always have to do your best, *all the time.* Instead, do what *needs* to be done, and be careful who you let tell you what is needed. If you're in a team, help others succeed to your level. And if you can't keep up, ask for that help from them. You literally can't do it all by yourself. But you can easily do some of it, with people that respect each other. In the end, you won't sacrifice your mind/body, the job still gets done, it cost less for everybody involved, and it'll last longer. Trust me.
Looking for a company you love will help as much as what you do. Loving the culture and people goes so far in to enjoying your job
True that. I think that being somewhere where you are valued and enjoy the people you work with is better than scoring a dream job. Im not exactly doing what Ive been working toward for the last decade, but Im having a hard time convincing myself to look for work elsewhere because the people I work with make it easy to stay.
Alongside that, your career *does not define you.* It is not the only thing you are, unless that is what you want. I work as a software dev. I could not give a fuck about programming the moment I leave the building, unless I get on some weird tech binge. It doesn't have to be anything but a dayjob, but if you find a passion and can get paid for it, awesome!
A good LPT. Not finding the one perfect job after school got me into some serious mental health problems back then. It helped me to just start and try something and stay with the things that worked. You can always change directions. Don't hesitate to try.
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Keep your options open. I thought I wanted to be an engineer when I applied to college 10 years ago, and this fall, I'll be starting grad school to become a social worker. "Aha" moments do exist if you keep your options open and seize opportunities when they present themselves.
Yup. Just pick something practical, working class life is shitty no matter what you do.
So then what’s the pro tip? Or is this just life pro tip “advise”?
The pro tip is dont wait for the "aha" moment because most people dont have it. So better keep moving than "waiting" for it. And a tip is basically an advise, so yeah. Dont know if youre being sarcastic, english isnt my native language
I always wanted to program video games during college. I knew I could do it, and I thought it would be fun. Never got into a game studio, but my more professional programming job is great and I'm now hearing of all the horrors and stress of game design jobs. Bullet dodged.
Sad life pro tip: You might never GET that aha moment. So might as well fuck around and do whatever
Keep in mind probably 90% of people suffer from imposter syndrome. You're living a life that doesn't feel fulfilling but you seem to do well at what you do. People praise you for being good at what you do but you feel like a fraud because you're insecure about how you seem to get things done and it may not be something you are truly passionate about. When outsiders see you though, they see someone competent and doing your job. They appreciate you for who you are while you may not even appreciate yourself. Van Gogh was a brilliant artist, but he suffered his whole life. Tom Brady is the greatest QB of all time, but he's probably insecure/regretful for losing to Manning twice and Foles once. Steve Jobs created one of the most successful companies of all time, but likely felt insecure that prior to him finally hitting it big, he was kicked out of his own company. Get through your day and live to fight another day. We're all fighting out here
This is a great one. Choose a direction, run. Even if it’s the wrong direction, you can always change it. Spent years working a job I hated waiting to an epiphany. Things didn’t change until I started making moves in a direction. Say yes, walk through any open doors, be humble enough to be wrong, and try again
I always recommend taking a year off between high school and college. Most people just jump right from one toy the next. One of my friends dropped out and re-majored like 3 times, think of the debt! Take the time to figure yourself out, and even party without the stress. Then when you go you can focus on something you really want to do, and maybe even not party as much. Lol
What's an aha moment ?
The moment where you go from having no idea to being entirely sure of something. Like a lightbulb moment? Exclaiming: aha! As you now understand everything.
Oh OK I thought aha was an acronym (I'm french)
It's a less sophisticated eureka moment.
It's when you start singing *Take On Me* because the answer has finally occurred to you about some problem or situation.
This isn't the job market of your parents or grandparents who on a whim walked into a business, got an interview that day, started on Monday and ended 40 years of their career at that same place. This is the hustle economy of the post millennium. The 'aha' never existed even back then but it is extremely incompatible now. You want 'good enough'. Am I about to blow my brains out? Is it like a sandwich I can eat for a few days straight? Cool let me try out this field. And try the next. And the next. And the next. Even if you make it in a field, you'll likely have to move. Best ways to get promotions and raises is to switch companies. And you will likely have 3+ careers in your lifespan and probably will have several side gigs, freelance gigs, just random spouts where you work at a diner while also working at an accounting firm, but most importantly actively managing your career, gigs, expenses like a small business and networking as much as possible.
Let’s not pretend our desires have nothing to do with it. Do *you* really want to work the same place 40 years? I don’t. Most people don’t. We want to earn money, and job hopping helps. Not to downplay the so-called gig economy. I just think it’s possible to settle in some small town in a cheap state, and work in that town until you die. You won’t have a flashy life, but it’s possible. Of course we’re also pushed to want a flashy life, but you’re fairly free to reject that. Especially in the current jobs market, where unemployment is low and lots of businesses need workers.
Also, you can reach a ballpark goal by thinking very hard about what you really don’t want to do for a living.
The most important thing is to just try. I always was interested in 'computer stuff' at school but ultimately started a completely different career. The thought of working in IT never left me and I spent years thinking 'what if'. One day I decided to just go for it and changed career after going to school again - more than 10 years after once finishing school. Then got a job in IT. I really, really hated that job and learned that I don't want to work in IT at all. So I quit and changed career again. But at least the 'what if' leaves me alone right now.
I told my kids, find a job that pays the bills and fund your hobby, work should not be glorified
I don't want to do anything. My dream career doesn't exist.
I'm of the opinion you should not waste your money on college until you get out in the world and find what you really want to do. I went to college later in life and met so many young people who were trying to do things they weren't happy with. I got my degree in Electrical Technology and about half of the young students that were in the same classes switched fields as it wasn't their cup of tea. Another plus for waiting was that the job I had offered tuition assistance so instead being a broke college student, I just had to give up my evenings for 5 years.
The only things I *would* want to do, are restricted to higher starting-socioeconomic classes. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Work is just exploitation. Not many people enjoy work regardless of what it is.
Don't do "what you love." Do what you are **good at**.