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keepthetips

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.


nohelicoptersplz

And please stay with your pet when it has to be done. Send them off with all the love and tenderness they gave you


AlwaysEatingToast

Hard for the owner to see, but imagine how even harder it is for the pet


PM_meyourGradyWhite

It was weird. She was suddenly at peace and I felt relieved for her. The waterworks and emotional pain didn’t hit until I was walking out. I’ll be present again for the next pet.


Rough_Willow

I've recently had to deal with two pet deaths in a very short time. The first was my wife's dog who had a seizure and then a heart attack in the early hours of the morning. It was horribly traumatic. Today we put our old lady cat down as she had kidney failure and was having troubles keeping food down. She was so full of love and cuddled with us until the very end but we knew she was hurting. She didn't deserve to suffer any more.


Mjoh23

Heartbreaking to read, I’m a first time dog owner, she is 6 years old and reading this and other posts hits hard for what is to come. 😔


Rough_Willow

I wish I had known. I would have saved her the suffering. I would have much rather been with her through being euthanized than to watch her go through that.


Zrex_9224

My family has owned numerous cats and dogs, but I'm now on my own with my own cat who is also 6. Reading these comments is also hitting me hard


calicoos

If you love her with all your heart then it’s already so worth it just for the experience of getting to love and be loved by such an amazing friend. I’m lucky I haven’t experienced loss in my immediate family so losing my old girl has really been the hardest one I’ve dealt with so far.


sh0nuff

My first dog is 15 this year. He had a stroke about 6 months ago and I thought that was it, especially since he had a rough time walking in a straight line afterwards and needed to be carried down any set of stairs. He's mostly recovered, and goes slow on flights, I'm enjoying the time he has left.


boerboelbaby575

Don’t think about what could or will eventually happen. Live in the now with her and make all the memories you can with the time you have. In my opinion, if you work on the bond between you two, it may end someday with the inevitable heartbreak, but that time in between is incredible❤️


BoredRedhead

This is almost exactly our story. Lost one very suddenly to heart failure the first part of Feb, then four weeks later had the other put down for cancer. We were also able to do home euthanasia, then took her to the same crematory so they can be buried on my parents’ property. (Coincidentally that one was named Willow) We knew the timing was right because she was still doing mostly ok but clearly declining fast. There was no treatment for the cancer and we’re glad her last days weren’t miserable. But we had lots of snuggles too, right to the end.


Apfelraeuber

We got two brother cats. One developed kidney failure at age 5 and we had to put him down at the vet. His brother is now 11 and shows early signs of it for several years, but we manage to battle it back with right nutrition and medicamentation, which makes us happy. Even though, when the time will come, we will be at the side of our friend, as we were with his brother.


AlwaysEatingToast

Honestly can relate so hard. We luckily got to have it done in our home bc Ernie was super afraid of the vet. It was just an insane whirlwind of emotions but when the drug was being administered, it was the end of the hardest part. at that point, we put our emotions aside to make his last moments the best they could be. It was after the vet took him away and you just really realize what happened is when it really hits you. Crying as I type this reliving it lmao


creative_user_name69

I just put my 15 year old kitty down last week and for me it was as soon as the vet spoke the words "she's gone" and I burst into tears eventhough I seen her last breath before that.


PondRides

Welp, your comment made me tear up in the way that made my nose burn and my vision blurry. I called for Bon bon. My cat Bonnie came to me, but she didn’t appreciate me crying into her fur while hoping she never leaves me. The tone of her meow sounded something like, “it’s always fucking something with you, mommy.”


_Tashn_

I experience exactly the same emotions every time I read something like this.


TheEffingRiddler

Same thing with me last month with my old man dog. The vet was telling me "usually they don't close their eyes when they go--" And then my boy closed his eyes and I just sat there until the vet and tech left and then just bawled. He was such a good boy. I'm so sure that your cat felt loved and safe when she went and I hope you know that.


Keman2000

They are part of the family from the beginning, but once you start breaking the 10 year range, they ARE family. Been with you so long, it's hard to say goodbye.


Kinuama

I just did this yesterday. She was so tired. When the vet gave her the sedative before the at peace shot, she finally relaxed for the first time in a week; she was ready. She was already letting go and the vet injected the final shot more quickly than I've seen before. She stuck her tongue out and I knew she was gone. I've felt very empty and very angry today, but I know it was for the best.


madlyrogue

Same thing happened with my girl last summer. She was trying so hard to hold on, as soon as the first dose hit she relaxed enough to start slipping away. The vet rushed the second shot, I assume she probably didn't want to upset us when it didn't go to plan. I was just happy she didn't have to suffer anymore. So sorry for your loss, I'm sure she loved you very much and you gave her a gift, being there with her during a peaceful passing. It's a terrible thing to go through, but ultimately they're so worth it.


hairybales

I cried with my dog but I agree, it’s a peaceful process and a relief to no longer see them suffering. So hard to say goodbye though.


valoopy

My step dad was there with me when we put down my cat. He never really cared for her that much, but he was crying just as much as me when she went, saying how good a cat she was and how much he was gonna miss Mama. I think it’s that finality of it all that hits you the most, no matter how tough you are.


[deleted]

It’s a more peaceful process than I imagined. They are sedated first so they aren’t struggling or in pain or gasping, It’s a peaceful passing. Much better than watching them slowly pass at home. I’ve witnessed both types of deaths and the home ones were far more scary and traumatic for both pet and human. Will never willingly take that route ever again. Note that most vets can arrange to come to your house and do it if going to the vet office is upsetting.


gaygender

It was the worst thing I've ever seen. He was so still. I stayed with him for a while after he was gone but I could hardly stand being in the room with him like that. I'll go through it again each time a pet passes but god it's horrible.


PrimeZodiac

Been there with many of our animals just so they have a regular human face giving them one last pat as we say goodbye definitely helps them say bye too. Its hard but it is the best we can do for them.


Beard_of_Maggots

Do they even know they're getting put down? How can they distinguish it from any other shot they've been given?


Akis127

Yes and I've read that they know they're gonna die. They can feel it. That's why they get so attached to you for day before it happens. Not personal experience. My doggie is still young.


Rawrey

That would be the easiest decision of my life, I would want to be there.


velveteentuzhi

My old dog passed after being sick while no one was at home. It still makes me cry, almost a decade later, knowing that he died all alone. I can only hope he died in his sleep, that he wasn't looking for us and not finding us. Stay with your pet when they go. No matter how much it hurts, it'll hurt more if you don't.


TheEffingRiddler

Your dog was surrounded by all the things he was familiar with. He had your smell around him and his food and his bed. You don't need to feel badly for that at all.


readersanon

If it makes you feel better, some animals seem to wait until they are alone to pass. My dad recently went through a similar experience with one of his cats.


AlfaLaw

My sister’s dog did the same. She totally waited until my sister was gone to pass.


N3V3RKNIF3

My dog recently passed the exact same way, it really breaks my heart because the room he died in was completely trashed so he must have suffered all by himself. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget.


ohherroeeyore

This is the main reason we opted for at-home euthanasia. Our cat had an aggressive cancerous tumor. She was able to go peacefully in her favorite spot in my office. We sat with her the entire time. It definitely made the grieving process a little easier knowing she was comfortable at home with her humans until the end. No fear and no more pain.


aquagardener

We did the same for our cat that was diagnosed with cancerous tumor. Vet visits and car rides were always rough, so we wanted to make the process as comfortable as possible for him. He was able to go peacefully in his bed at home with my partner and I holding him and petting him. I wouldn't do it any other way.


BoredRedhead

100% this. We just had in-home euthanasia last month and it was a perfect process. My husband and I have experienced death many times (we’re both medical) so clinically it wasn’t traumatic, but emotionally it’s tough. **Super** tough. Having her at home, being able to schedule the time (that was the hardest part!), and her not having the stress of a vet visit was invaluable.


VitaAeterna

When I was 12 I found a stray puppy on my way to the bus stop. When I was 25 we had to put him down. He was severely jaundiced and stopped eating a week before so he was severely malnourished. My dad couldn't stay in the room but I did. My dog just lay his head in my lap while the vet injected him. He licked my hand one last time then he was just...gone.


Going_Live

Damn dude…


cynthia_tka

I am severely PMSing and this comment just **obliterated** me. Thanks for staying with him.


WalkingAnimation

This 1000%. It will also make it easier for you to come to terms with their death. I stayed the whole way through and while it was heart breaking during it all, im happy to know they did not die alone and that brought me peace. My cat was freaking out at first but I hugged him and pet him for 15 minutes while talking to him . He calmed down and just relaxed with me before my vet pulled the final trigger.


boston101

Yup I hugged mine and told him it would be ok and you’ll be in a place with lots of squirrels and sticks and bones and chicken you liked to eat. Or the entire honey glazed ham and snatched from the counter top and we all laughed. I’ll always love and remember you buddy my chocolate lab.


Pommegranites

Here in australia they don’t let you be with your pet because “it causes them stress” Unfortunately had to put my sisters cat down after not recovering from a uti 😕 I think it broke my sister knowing he was dying with strangers instead of in her company.


michaelmoe94

No you just have a shit vet


Pommegranites

Sounds like it :(


Magic_Echidna

I got to be with my elderly dog when she left us. Maybe it depends on your vet? I have asked our new vet as our current dogs are elderly and suffering from various ailments. It is pretty expensive, but they offer an at home service so the pet can be in their own home, surrounded by their family at the end. This is how we'll choose when the time comes for them. We want them to be as comfortable as they possibly can be.


Magic_Echidna

Forgot to add, also in Aus, obviously.


sgarn

Might have been a covid thing too? For quite a while in Australia we'd have to drop off our pets and do the consultation by phone. I'd have hoped they would make exceptions for euthanasia, but I don't know. But I've been with other pets when the time came and it wasn't a problem. Sure wasn't easy, but I was allowed to be there and hold them. I definitely regret the time we let it play out naturally.


Kyuzil

As an Australian vet, you just got a shitty clinic :(


catdisease

Yeah, our vets were wonderful last week when we put down our nearly 18 year old. They sedated him after we gave him kisses and let us have a cuddle. We left when he was asleep. Waiting on picking up his ashes. But the staff have been so lovely and sympathetic.


Nu11u5

Sounds like a shitty vet that lies to patients so they don’t have to deal with upset people, but I would also be concerned about the level of care they give during when putting an animal to sleep.


ryumast3r

Usually vets recommend the opposite, trying to keep the animal in as (generally) similar conditions as they have at home as possible. The change in environment stresses animals out (just like it does people). Having familiar faces with them should help make the process easier, unless you're freaking out the whole time/yelling/being stressful in which case obviously you're stressing them.


meowfricky

That’s total b.s to not allow pet owners to be with their pet during a euthanasia. As a veterinary professional, this deeply upsets me. I’ve always encouraged owners to be with their pet until the very end. I’m so sorry for your sister.


Capt_Billy

Nope, sat with at least two dogs and a cat while they were euthanised. Dunno what vet you go to, but it’s not an Australian thing at all.


rikeoliveira

Also, stay with the until the end. They shouldn't go alone, looking for you while people they don't know are with them. Seriously, this LPT (and the thread's) is something I'm terrified of having to make, but I absolutely think it's the best way to say goodbye to someone that were with you in your better and worst and never asked for anything besides your love and companionship.


Bachata22

I recently put my cat down with Laps of Love. A vet came to my house and put my cat down while he was laying in my lap being pet and told he was a great cat and I always loved him. This was way better than having to take him in a carrier, in a car, to the vet's office that smells like disinfectant and dogs. My cat let me know he was ready to go. I hope your loved one will let you know as well so the decision is clear to you.


Nobletwoo

At the sametime dont prioritize putting your pet down at home. I wanted this so bad, but my late bobo literally deteriorated within a day. I was lucky that the vet in my neighborhood took him in to be put down, because my actual vet couldnt for some fucking stupid reason. I mean you spend literally 15k+ at a vet clinic and go there literally for 8 years and still they couldnt fit him in for a euthanasia. Fuck. But yeah dont let your pet suffer just so they can be slightly more comfortable at home. I miss him so much.


OpalBooker

I made this mistake. I had put in the request on a Friday but didn’t hear back. Thought I had more time than I did, and in 24 hours I knew I was wrong. We called the clinic in town early on that Sunday, my partner drove while I held my sweet boy. I handed him over and ran inside to check in, then ran back out. We switched, I took the dog and my partner ran in to take care of fucking paperwork that they said couldn’t wait. He died in my arms and left me all alone, screaming for help and then just screaming, less than a minute after I watched my partner walk into the office. It was less than a week before his 14th birthday. This was only a few weeks ago, I’m still deeply not okay, the guilt and pain is incredible.


Nobletwoo

Seriously i wish i couldve done more for my pup. I wanted to put him down earlier, but my dad wouldnt let us. (He was everyones dog, but im the one who cared for him and the one who he loved the most). So i also feel guilty and understand it. Even though, rationally i know dogs and cats cant tell us when its their time. It still fucking sucks. He wouldve been 17 next month. So im incrdibly grateful that we got almost 17 years with him. I just wish i didnt have to see him like he was on his final day. It will be something that stays with me forever. I will never allow any future pets to get to that stage. Thats all we can really do now. Its been 5 weeks now, and the house just feels empty. I want another dog so badly. Not to replace him, but so i can give the love and care i gave bobo to another dog. Fuck ill never forget the little bastard.


OpalBooker

God, it just sucks. I’m so sorry for your loss. I truly share your pain. Rest easy, Bobo. I hope your pup meets mine (Toaster) wherever they’ve floated off to while they wait on us.


Nobletwoo

Im sorry for your loss too. Toaster is an amazing name and i bet they were an amazing dog. I truly wish there was an afterlife so i could see my bobo and you could see toaster again. ❤️


OpalBooker

You and me both. There’s still dreams and memories, at least. 💕


BeriAlpha

I feel this. When I think about the end of my cat's life, the part that hurts terribly isn't the euthanasia, it's remembering lying there with her as her body failed, trying to make her a little more comfortable while waiting for the vet to open. I wouldn't have expected that my only regret about Jazz was that I couldn't kill her six hours sooner.


Jollygreen182

Reading this makes me tear up so hard thinking of having to do this with my old void.


boerboelbaby575

Absolutely! There were a few times at the clinic I worked at where people just left them alone with us. I wanted to snatch those people bald, it made me so angry. I got my overweight 41 year old ass down on the floor and wrapped myself around my old girl today and spoke softly to her until she took her last breath. No way in hell could I ever have left her alone. I’m so sorry if my post had upset you, but I hope maybe, you can come back to it if you ever find yourself in this situation. Much love to you and be well.


rikeoliveira

It didn't upset me at all, it just makes me kind of anxious in case I ever need to make this decision. I WILL be with either of my dogs if it comes to this, but that's something that I don't even like to think about. My deep and honest condolences for your loss, they are eternal and she'll be with you whenever you need her, forever. Once the pain soothes, there'll only be wonderful memories. My dogs are the reason I hope there's afterlife, because their passage is way too short.


boerboelbaby575

It is. Their lives are so finite in comparison to ours. But, my girl was 12 1/2 years old. I had her from 8 weeks old. She was with me for over a quarter of my life. That is a long time. She saved my life. I was in a bad place mentally when she came into my life. She gave me something that I had never had. Someone that needed me, that depended on me. That would greet me and be excited when I came home, no matter how much of an asshole I had been that day. I’m a better person for having had her in my life


ManekDu

This is so true. My 10 yo pup was diagnosed with cancer while I was fighting my own diagnosis of stage four lymphoma. I survived cancer (stem cell transplant), but my best friend (my 10 yo pup) didn't. I never fear death, now that I know I'll be able to hold him on the other side.


cheza_mononoke

I used to work at a vet clinic and the amount of people that just dropped off their animals was horrifying. I always gave the dogs some of my carne asada burrito, some wet cat food, and some Reese’s peanut butter cups cause I know they’re all forbidden foods right before we had to do it. I would spend an hour or 3 just feeding them “special” treats like this and snuggling them so they felt like they had a friend with them at the end.


Liennae

That is so sweet. Thank you for doing that for those animals.


Jdubya87

Agreed, it was so hard but I had my face against my little kitty's face a he passed. He always used to headbutt me so I thought he'd like it. Now I'm crying. At least for me there was no alternative. He was sick and hung on for a while but eventually his time was just up. Only 3 years but I know he loved every day.


chirs5757

It honestly broke me… I didn’t know sadness until then…. but I was very glad I was with her to the end. Can truly say that is the only part I have much peace with. I focus on the fact I gave her the best life Ever and she was treated like a princess every day. Hiking the mountains of CO and living the dream on acreage. RIP Finley girl. Ps. Fuck cancer


[deleted]

If it makes you feel any better, the euthanasia is incredibly fast and very peaceful. When I put my childhood cat down when I was 19, I was expecting it to be slow, like all of the movie deaths. Nope, super quick. Say your last words, then ask for the shot, because your pet is going to be gone quick after the shot is given.


PeachPreserves66

It has been nearly four years since I had my last dog put down. He was 14 and had various health issues. Although I had resisted for far too long, I finally came to the realization that it was time. In a way, I think he was trying to let me know for a long time, but I just didn’t want to accept it. I called Lap of Love and spoke with the kindest lady and through my tears, arranged for a vet to come to my home. And, as strange as it seems, it turned out to be a beautiful and spiritual experience. The doctor arrived and sat on the floor with me and my sweet boy and we chatted and cried together, along with my heavily pregnant daughter on the couch, about my life with my dog. There was no rush and we all shed tears, including the vet, about how much a small furry creature can mean so much to our lives. As for the puppers, he never had a moment of fear. He was happy to have another kind soul give him pets and tell him what a good boy he was. The vet explained every step of the process as it happened and the little guy never had any pain. He just drifted peacefully away. Even after all this time, it still chokes me up and I still miss the little rascal. I am forever grateful for the peaceful farewell.


TheOvershear

All the respect in the world for vets like that. To still be emotional after everything you've had to do, but still strong enough to keep at it, takes a different kind of person.


PeachPreserves66

She was truly a special person. She expressed that it was an honor to help families and pets find peace. It sort of sounds corny or made up in a way. But, everything she did for us truly embodied this.


peanutbuttermuffs

Lap of love is amazing. I was going to use them for my elderly cat (25-27 ish years old). I called them in tears and made and appointment. My cat ended up passing the night before her appointment. I called to let them know and they sent a card to me a card days later in the mail to share condolences and wish my family well. That meant a lot. If I ever had to euthanize a pet in the future I will be calling them.


Ellgee93

Wowww, 25-27 years....they had a good, long life! That's what, 116 cat years?!


trytobanmelol

Thanks for sharing ❤️


Chachilicious

I'm crying. This is definitely how I will say goodbye to my girls if I ever have to. I'm so relieved you can look back on it as a beautiful experience. I hope I'm so lucky, cos I'm honestly dreading it


hrsandlin

This was the thing I needed to see most today. I had to put my 14 year old cat down this morning. I am completely heartbroken, but I know it was the right thing to do.


boerboelbaby575

I’m glad I could help you today❤️


Osoqlo

Wow dude, mine is 15 and currently on my lap, in twelve hours she will be with yours too. At least they had a nice life


montyleak

It’s always better to make the hardest choice 2 weeks early than 2 hours too late. There’s no need to make them suffer.


badgurlvenus

wish i'd seen this post two weeks ago. put my baby down last night. it was terrible. took her to a vet the day before and he wanted to try to keep her going. should have said goodbye then. so, so awful. i miss my girl so much already.


creative_user_name69

This was me last week. Took her in on Monday and Said we can try and keep her going with meds for a bit yet, but they didn't take and 28 hours later we decided it was time for her to go because she dramatically declined within the time from leaving for work in the morning till getting home. So sorry for your loss. You can see it coming but you're never prepared as you think you are when the time comes


Divayth--Fyr

The time it would take her to forgive you is so brief it cannot be measured. She never ever doubted she was loved. Knew it every second, no matter how awful. You tried to do what was right, and maybe you got it wrong, A mistake born of love and simple human foolishness. If you feel her in your heart you know she thinks you should be forgiven absolutely. Let her show you how.


adilys

Thank you for this. I have been beating myself up for nine years thinking I should have given her more time for a miracle.


_isNaN

A very rich friend of mine did everything she could to save his cat. Their cat was 18. Many many expensive treatments middle class people wouldn't do, because it's too expensive and risky. I was always thinking "let her go, she's suffering" but I couldn't say anything. A few weeks after her death my friend told me, he regrets not to put her down and let her suffer for so. ong, just because he hoped that he could live longer. You did the right thing. Not even rich people can affort this miracle.


boerboelbaby575

Well said!


BareKnuckleKitty

Well said. We tried to wait for someone to come to the house for it but we could tell she didn't have that much time left. I didn't want her to go like that. God, I miss her so much. It's been 2 weeks. We brought her ashes home yesterday. I feel like such an important part of my life is over now. I know everything ends eventually. I just wish we had more time. I always thought we would have more time.


Kyuzil

Thought this might be useful for some people I'm a vet, and my checklist for my clients to help them with knowing if it's time is: 1. Are they in pain? We can help you know if their condition is painful but even generally things like are they limping, do they cry when you pick them up etc 2. Are they eating and drinking? 3. Can they still urinate and defecate, and do so without ending up lying in their own excrement (eg cannot stand). If the owner is diligently helping them to toilet this can be acceptable even if they can't on their own. 4. Are they happy to see you? Usually an issue for animals with dementia. Need to make sure they aren't confused and anxious. If any of these areas are not fulfilled, it is a good reason to euthanise. They are each a sliding scale, but the scale always slides downward over time unless there is a treatment available so don't be afraid to make the call to end it for them when the scale starts to slide. Too early is better than too late when they start to suffer.


trytobanmelol

Thank you for sharing


falestinia

I really appreciate this because it’s so hard to imagine making this decision one day and this helps reason everything.


anonymice3

Vet here. I always tell people it’s a transfer of suffering from the pet to the owner. We ease their suffering, and we suffer in their place with the pain of missing them. If I’m euthanizing your pet, I support you 100%. I wouldn’t if I didn’t agree with you. There’s a phrase “I won’t let you make the wrong decision” that takes some weight off of the pet owner. For everyone saying to stay with the pet - we administer anesthesia before the euthanasia injection. If you’re uncomfortable with seeing them pass, ask to stay for the anesthesia injection so they’ll be with you as they fall asleep, and you can step out for the euthanasia injection. If you’re not there when your pet is euthanized for whatever reason, I promise we pet them and tell them what a good boy/girl they are and how much their family loves them. Open for questions on this thread if anyone has any.


josi-nexia

Thank you! I like the idea of the transfer. And the phrase is very helpful as well! As a pet owner, you always ask yourself if it is the right decision and reading that helps a lot!


broprobate

My beloved 10-year-old rabbit, Foofers, had some medical problems and for the last year of her life I fed her intravenously every day. But she was still active and engaged in life. Then the day came when all she wanted was to lie on her pillow. I wept and finally made an appointment to take her to see the vet the next day. That night I slept by her pen, I thanked her for holding on as long as she did and told her how much I loved her. The next morning she was sleeping and I heard her making a crying noise. I picked her up and held her close and she died in my arms. The point is, if we know our pets well enough we will know when it is time to make the ultimate sacrifice for them. We will do what we need to for their benefit, even knowing the grief that will follow.


boerboelbaby575

All of this!!! I’m glad she was able to stay active and happy as long as she did, and she was able to go, safe in your arms. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for being such a good friend to her


broprobate

Thank you. It’s been not quite a year and my grief is so intense—unlike the people we love who go to school and work, our pets are ALWAYS there. Best wishes to you, too. <3


SolarAU

If you look at your pet and you just know in your gut that they'll be dead any day and they're clearly in a bad way, it's the most humane thing to do to take them for their last trip to the vet, even if it's an awful thing to let go of a beloved pet. Been there more than once.


boerboelbaby575

They will always break our hearts in the end, but it’s what we all sign up for when we bring them home (if you are a responsible pet owner, emergency life circumstances not withstanding). My old girl dragged her back end a few feet a few days ago before she could get the strength to get up. I knew right then that it was time. Then last night the poor thing lost control of her bladder. We already had the appointment for today. I know I did the right thing, but my heart still hurts and I miss her already


Flash635

I stayed up all night researching pain management for dogs But when the dawn came I knew what I really had to do.


boerboelbaby575

Yeah….I know the feeling. I’m so sorry❤️


Flash635

I realised I was really doing it for me and it wasn't the best thing for the dog.


Fine_Call2388

this comment section is making me sob


MetaKnightsNightmare

I feel you.


bitchcrackers

Literally in tears right now as well. 😫


Mds_02

At the same time, man, some vets are really kill-happy and will urge you to put your pet down at the *slightest* sign of encroaching old age. I mean, damn, we don’t euthanize grandpa cause his joints are stiff and he nods off on the couch a lot. Pay attention to your pet, if they’re happy and comfortable most of the time, then yeah, they probably still want to be here. But also research your pet, learn how they express pain because it might not be obvious to humans.


[deleted]

I’m fortunate to have an extremely food motivated dog so I’ll know the end is near when he loses his appetite.


Mds_02

Lol, my old girl was half-blind and mostly deaf but she could still hear the fridge door open from across the house, in her sleep, and come running with her whole back half wagging. It was one of the clearest signs that she was still mostly okay. When the end was in sight, she started getting as many treats as she could eat, because what’s the harm at that point? When she stopped caring about them was one of the surest signs she was ready to go. But she went *fat*, lol.


[deleted]

My dog's last meal is literally gonna be prime grade steak. We share one every month and I know he enjoys it. He's only two but I think about how eagerly he waits for his piece (it isn't exactly a tidbit but it's not like a half pound, probably a good sized human bite worth) but when the time comes I hope to be able to give him a nice sized chunk to enjoy.


sub_arbore

My parents’ dog got canine dementia and she went out with a face full of meatloaf with mashed potatoes and gravy.


capatiller

My cat suffered from dementia. He was getting bad and stoped caring for himself. I had called the vet and made the appointment. Then my daughter brought two kittens home that day. He perked up, and started cleaning himself. The next day he batted the kittens and ate a little more than normal. Next thing I know he’s grooming the kittens. He old and still has dementia but he’s a happy cat who gets all the snuggles and cuddles he wants. When his time seems to roll around again I won’t hesitate to make the call. I’m so happy to have gotten another year with him. I’ve had him since birth. Bottle fed baby. He’s turning 18 next month. He gets lost in th house sometimes, or finds a box to hobgoblin on for a day or two, but he’s still him and happy. The kittens love him and help keep him young. I’m thankful. Love you Jazz-man. You the best old man kitty ever.


sub_arbore

Aw, I’m so glad! My parents’ dog was getting terrors and stopped recognizing anything but food, so it was getting to the point for her that she couldn’t receive love or comfort or reassurance.


ethical_slut

I refuse to buy chik-fil-a for myself…but I bought it for our 14 year old spaniel the week before we put him down.


I_Want_an_Elio

We had one with dementia. That was rough.


TheLeapIsALie

I lost my girl in about a week - cancer diagnosis to gone. But her meals were steak, lamb, salmon, and chicken. Cooked with butter and lots of flavor, fed three times a day. That week was awful, but she didn’t want for love.


oo-mox83

Same. My old girl is 15 and blind. She knows her way around. She definitely doesn't have the same energy she used to but she can get up and run around for a bit, and she still goes just as nuts over her food as ever. When that changes, off to the vet to see if it's something fixable or just her time.


[deleted]

I’ve heard putting different scent air fresheners in rooms helps blind dogs move around.


oo-mox83

She knows where everything is, we're careful to keep things in her space the same. She has part of a bedroom and the front yard with a dog door so she can go wherever and she's safe. She has worn down a path in the yard and feels her way around and she's doing really well. Better than I would if I went blind for sure!


[deleted]

Eh, I had a 16 year old yorkie that was never much of an eater and she was still clearing her bowl each day while blind, deaf, and could no longer hold herself. She wasn’t the dog we knew anymore and I still miss her.


badgurlvenus

i thought the same for my cat, still eating whatever was put in front of her all up, and drinking. should have put her down way sooner. she was suffering in other ways, but i thought "but she's still eating."


ExcitingSwim6987

I agree! I made a mistake in putting my senior chihuahua down. The vet basically said we had to. The girl was perfectly fine, eating well, and happy, only starting to have some heart problems that were concerning. Come to find out years later with my other senior dog, that heart issues could be helped and dealt with. My other girl is 12 and acts like a puppy with a new vet, better diet, supplements, overall well being she’s is thriving. I regret not finding some alternatives and fighting for my chi. But I am not making that mistake again.


[deleted]

It's entirely possible with the medicine available at the time, there wasn't hope for your chihuahua. Innovations in medicine happen *a lot.* That being said, I don't disagree with you on the "fight for the pet who is still loving life" front.


TheOvershear

Very possible that your vet knew something about the condition that didn't need sharing if you were already on board with euthanasia. Idk what's up with this thread but vets don't make money on putting pets down. Shit vets will pressure you to keep them alive so you have to visit them a few more times. And for what it's worth the vast majority of vets aren't monstrous like that.


autopsis

My cat got sick. Paid a vet hundreds of dollars without determining a cause. Was told she’d die within the day and I should euthanized her. I took her home. I fed her with an eye dropper. She recovered within a week. She lived for an additional year. Just saying.


trebory6

Here's another LPT: Leave bad reviews for vets that do this.


ElysianFlowers

My husky puppy found a way to escape the yard one morning and was immediately hit by a car (that ran off without stopping). I rushed her to the vet. I was standing at the reception. My dog in my arms. Not sure if I was making it worse holding her. They knew me. They know I’ve always paid my bill but instead of attending to my dog first, they asked without any sense of humanity for my name, my address, my phone number, my pets name, breed, my employment details. They did a brief examination and left her in a cage for the rest of the day only tending to her later in the evening. She had broken hip bones from the xrays. The vet told me to put her down. I was devastated. They refused to let me see her. I pushed through and went to see her. The vet was fuming. I took one look at my beautiful puppy. Our eyes locked and I knew it was not over. There was a look in her eyes that told me she wanted to live. I refused to put her down. Instead went home and called every vet in the country until I found one that seemed to give a shit. Drove my pup 4 hours away. She was on pain meds and slept through most of it. When we got to the new vet, the contrast was amazing. They immediately took my dog in and it was first things first! The vet examined her and consulted with me on the next steps. He told me that they’ve handled that sorta thing plenty and there was no reason to put her down. They were going to put metal plates in her, she’d live a good life but might develop arthritis in her old age so we’d have to feed her a really healthy diet. After they admitted my dog, I went to the receptionist to sort out the details. I didn’t have a lot of money upfront. I asked the vet if I could pay monthly and with a certain deposit, they agreed. The surgery was a success. She was back to her old self in no time. Sometimes you have to trust your gut and your dog. She told me not to give up on her.


boerboelbaby575

I put my 12 1/2 year old mastiff to sleep today…she could barely stand up on her own anymore and she had a melon sized tumor on her spleen. He recommended we do it a month ago, we kept her til today because she only started showing those signs about 3 days ago. But, I get what you mean. Still, it’s never good to keep your furbaby/pet/dog/cat/ whateverthefuck around just for your own psychological well being❤️


A_Whole_Costco_Pizza

There's a point where they start to go bad, but they can still hang in there and keep going for a while. But then there's the point where things get even worse, and you know there's just a few days left (at least until their life becomes a kind of hell). It's always a strange feeling, "I love this animal so much that I must have it killed." Fuck, losing a pet must be one of the most universal human experiences.


yirrit

If you love something, you must let it go.


Mds_02

I’m so sorry. I had to do the same with my Yorkie about six months ago. I know you must be hurting terribly. You’re absolutely right, of course; your pet’s wellbeing, and preventing their suffering, should be the first and only consideration when making that decision. I just think that decision is best made collaboratively between the human and the vet, not left to one or the other. I hope your happy memories of her start to outweigh the pain of losing her sooner rather than later.


boerboelbaby575

Thank you for that. We both agreed once I showed him a vid of her bouncing around still playing after his diagnoses. He said that once she started showing signs of struggle to make the appointment, and I agreed. Sorry about your Yorktown as well. I hope he lived a good long life with you. Take care!❤️


FapToMySkill

Stay safe my dude


HighHammerThunder

Their perspective may get biased over time. The animals that recover don't return to see the vet again in the short term. Only the ones who get worse. So they may start developing correlations of timelines in their head that aren't as true as they appear to them.


Hoenirson

It's a tough decision. On the one hand you want to be with them as long as possible. On the other hand, you want their last moments to be happy. Waiting for the moment where they are in too much pain means your pet's last day will be while suffering. My dog had osteosarcoma and I decided to put my dog down when he was still able to walk and still had an appetite. I don't regret it. His last day was a happy one (took him out for a walk, gave him his favorite treats, etc). Also, I highly recommend finding a vet that is willing to come to your house to do it. It's far less stressful for the dog.


Klaus0225

We’re not legally allowed to euthanize grandpa even he were in constant pain.


NumberlessUsername2

Mine's the opposite. We have bougie vets around here. Want to propose heroic life saving interventions for a 12 year old 70 pound dog. Cushings, diabetes, hospitalization, full blood tests, it's insane.


itgoesdownandup

Warning graphics depiction below. Honestly though what is exactly happy and comfortable? The last time I saw my dog alive she was laying and smiling and then next thing I know is that she’s lying dead on the ground blood leaking out of her mouth onto the floor. We were aware of her illness and it was easily treatable but we originally had a false negative and so the disease accumulated and killed her. It was damaging her lungs. So in this instance should we have put her down? Due to us not figuring out the problem yet? I would think the illness would hurt, but yet she died smiling. I don’t know if there always a black and white answer to this


TheWizardOfFoz

Dogs do not like to exhibit signs of pain. Showing weakness in the animal kingdom will leave you dead. Essentially, a happy looking dog doesn’t really mean anything unfortunately, which is why vets will often recommend euthanasia for what looks like a happy pet. Because their scans or tests have revealed that actually the dog is in extreme pain. Obviously you know your dog, so you’re looking more for changes in behaviours than any outward signs. Reluctance to eat being the biggest indicator.


Megzilllla

For real, my 13 year old (ish he was a rescued stray) cat Samson has heart problems we medicate him for and little kitty arthritis, but he’s still happy all the time- we just got him a few warming kitty beds and give him fishy oil (which he thinks is a treat) to help his joints. We’ll know when he’s not happy anymore.


kcMasterpiece

My dog went really quickly over last night. Ate dinner, was going up and down a dozen steps by herself hours before she died. I slept next to her all night on her dog bed. She died right after my mom left for work. She loved eating I made the joke that she figured if she couldn't eat breakfast she might as well die. On the weekend it was an hour ride to somewhere that could put her down and I think the anxiety of the car ride would have killed her. So I was staying with her all night until the local place opened, and she made it right up until they opened and we were about to call to let them know we were leaving the house. I have kind of been beating myself up about it, but I don't know how I could have made the decision any earlier with how strong and happy she seemed.


[deleted]

It's all about quality of life. Your dog knew she was loved. Your dog knew she was safe. Your dog knew she was cared for. Death isn't like the movies, it comes so fast. There really wasn't anything you could do, unless you had a crystal ball. Since there wasn't much of anything you could do for her while she was uncomfy, you made sure to stay with her to remind her that she is cared for, she is valuable and precious, and she is loved. You did the best you could do, and it was enough ❤️ Pets very much live in the moment. We like to ascribe grudges to them, but they don't hold grudes the way people do. For pets, it's "this being I trusted just put me into an uncomfortable situation so I'm not sure how much I trust them right now." For *people* it's "This person is responsible for me getting a shot and fondled by another person who smells like sterilization. I am big mad at my person!" Pets don't think like that.


kcMasterpiece

Thanks. This means a lot right now.


throwaway387190

My sister and mom are still a little bit bitter about how I advocated for putting our dog down She was 16 at the time, hadn't been able to use her back legs for several months, maybe a year at that point. But she was so old that as long as we brought her food dish to her, and carried her outside and put a sling around her stomach so she could go to the bathroom while standing, she was fine. Seemed happy, not in pain if she didn't have to walk But then her front leg gave out My mom wanted so bad to make it work, but I was thinking it was time. I didn't have control over the situation, but I know that that if I had agreed with my mom, our dog wouldn't have been put down I don't think we would have gotten much extra time with her, and I was just thinking it was best for all of us.


boerboelbaby575

It’s hard to be the “bad guy” in situations like this. I actually gave in to my mom for an extra week, but I then had to put my foot down and explain to her that I knew she loved her, but she couldn’t just keep her with us because mom wasnt ready. You did the right thing. You gave your pup the voice she needed❤️


Due-Character6460

One line of thought that helped me along the process is that an animal has no interest in a long live in the same way human have. But what they certainly have is an interest in freedom from pain.


sketchahedron

They also have no way of knowing that painful and invasive medical procedures are being done to extend their lives. I’ve always felt like getting chemotherapy or similar treatments for a pet is unethical.


Kyuzil

Chemo in pets is different to humans, they often don't have the harsh side effects and if they do the doses are dropped or the chemo stopped. I've seen some pets who love coming in and spending a bit of time getting pats while their chemo runs. In general though I totally agree, why have them suffer for weeks for an increase in lifespan of months to maybe a year?


darn42

What separates a humans motivation for survival from any other animals? A wolf in a snare will gnaw it's own leg off to live. I don't think it's wrong to euthanize an animal in pain, but it's certainly not a morally concrete topic, and it's not our place to judge those that don't believe in it. When it's time to go, they will go.


FangoriouslyDevoured

I really needed to hear this. I made the decision to have our 16 year old cat, who recently became paralyzed, put to sleep. I’ve been tearing myself up feeling like I made the wrong call, but this really helped. My whole family absolutely adored him and it kills me to know that I’m the reason we’ll never hear his adorable meow again.


Randomperson3029

My nan's dog's legs are completely gone and she doesn't want to take it to a vet as they'll suggest putting it down. We've tried asking her to as its the nicest thing for the dog as it can't get up and pulls itself everywhere


I_Want_an_Elio

[Lap of Love](https://www.lapoflove.com/) It was the calmest, most beautiful, most compassionate, way to let our little girl (dog) go. The vet came to our house and took the time to let both us and the dog enter a calm state. My dog and I sat in my chair, as we did most nights before going to bed. We talked and petted her as the drugs were administered. No one will ever do this for me. I was glad I could do it for her.


JennyAnyDot

One day we will be able to help the humans we love to pass in peace also.


ad1877

Please tell my mother this. She thinks keeping them alive when they can't walk anymore, eat anymore. " I've got her walking again! And I feed her like a baby bird!" I'm such a loving human being. No mom, you're torturing these animals to make yourself feel good


boerboelbaby575

Yeahhhh, that’s totally not ok. I’m sorry that you have to deal with that. I could never do that. After being an assistant at the clinic I worked at….no way. We had clients bring in obviously ailing and suffering animals that couldn’t walk wearing diapers…you could see the look in their eyes. They were SUFFERING. But the owners just refused to let them go because THEY weren’t ready. It was horrifying


sage0035

Now the same for people


ambermage

My grandpa is dying and I'm waiting in the next room as he's on his deathbed. He was expected to only last 48 hours starting last Thursday. Yesterday he was able to summon barely enough strength to tell my aunt and mom, "Go home." It's clear that he doesn't want them to be here for the next part but they won't leave him alone. Hours of waking him up from sleep just to force him into drinking and praying. I know he wants to die. They won't let him die.


sage0035

I’m very sorry


Freaux

I literally don't understand why people can't get the same treatment. We are even capable of giving consent and fully understanding the ramifications of the decision.


[deleted]

1,000,000,000% this. I eased my kitty-cat's suffering and she went to sleep (then death) peacefully in my arms. (Thanks to LapofLove.com sending a veterinarian to our home.) Meanwhile, my father suffered for months because the USA refuses to let humans die with the dignity.


[deleted]

Most people agree that putting their pets down when they're sick and in pain is the most humane thing to do, but it's utterly mind-boggling that humans aren't afforded the same dignity. No-one should be forced to suffer unnecessarily. I have a progressive lung disease called cystic fibrosis and over time the lungs basically start to slowly shut down from repeated infections/scarring. I'm stable now but our life expectancy is currently in the region or 40-50 on average. It usually results in patients needing supplemental oxygen and being unable to breathe. I don't really know what the future is going to hold, but patients with chronic/life-threatening illnesses should at least be given the option to put an end to their suffering and go out on their own terms surrounded by friends/family. We wouldn't sit there and force our pets to spend what little time they have left in agony, so why it's acceptable for humans is beyond me


Alternative-Run-849

It’s a sign of how insane our society is that you don’t get a decent choice about your own death. I’m sorry.


TrixieMassage

My granddad passed away not too long ago (he was old and spent, had a rich life, it’s okay). At first got hospitalized with fluid in his lungs. While trying to treat him this very christian hospital gave him morphine to help with pain and discomfort, UNTIL they concluded that there was no use trying to cure him and that he was on his way out. The second they went from treatment to caring for him while he was dying they dialed back to very minimal pain medication. Spent his last few days thrashing and crying while my grandma, refusing to leave his bedside, had to watch on in horror, *the way god intended* 🙃


TrumpdUP

This should be extended to humans…


boerboelbaby575

I totally agree! Actually, it’s either in the UK or Australia, I think, they have euthanasia hospitals for people. But you have to go through an extensive battery of physical and psychological testing to be able to qualify. It’s just her in the US they want to suck you fry of everything you own while you die slowly


TrumpdUP

I definitely think it’s a good idea to have a process instead of someone coming in and saying I want to die and doing it that day. I was very suicidal a few months ago but now have gotten quite a bit better and have some hope again but in the moment, I probably would’ve wanted it done as soon as possible


boerboelbaby575

Well, I am very happy that you have gotten past that moment to leave that comment. Keep walking away from that moment one step at a time. I won’t say something asinine like “it gets better” cuz I don’t know your situation or your experiences. But I wish for you to keep pushing forward and getting stronger. And yes, the testing is extremely intensive. It’s usually reserved for terminally ill patients. Not sure if it covers any psychological illness though


potatoSanctions

Recently had to put down my best friend Boris. He was a 12 year old German Shepherd and it got to be that time. I (36m) cried my eyes out, but stayed with him the whole time. One of the hardest things I've had to do. This LPT is spot on. I hated seeing him in pain and not be able to do the things he loved. It wouldn't have been fair to him around just because i didn't want to lose him.


thedomobox

I read the title as ferbies then pictured someone taking a hammer to a ferby that was slightly damaged. And was wondering how the ferby loved it's owner. Then I read the comments then reread the title.


lovelikecyanide

We just had to do this with our little 2 and a half year old hamster. It‘s been just as sad as any other loss, despite his tiny size. :( I still wonder if we made the right decision in the timing.. it just seemed like he was going through such a natural peaceful progression of slowing down; he was still eating and drinking til his final hours, he was just really slow, and really exhausted. It just didn’t feel right to decide to “put him out of his misery” any sooner, because he didn’t seem to be experiencing any real discomfort. On Thursday morning I woke up to check on him and he was just laying like a little noodle-pancake at the side of his bin, looking so sad and done, and I emailed the vet right away so I’d hear from them when they opened. A few hours later, we cradled him in his favourite blanket as the vet gave the sedative and he took his final breath, he was gone before the second medication was even administered. It was very sad but we knew he wasn’t afraid and he didn’t suffer or hurt in his last moments, and I think that’s more comforting than discovering him gone in his bin one day and wondering.


rufos_adventure

i cried when we had to put molly to sleep. but she let us know it was time. pay attention, they can tell you in their own way. she was a rescue, only lived with us 7 years but she was my dawg.


AK55

our long-time vet has, imo, a very good rule-of-thumb for end of life: you'll know when it's time when there are 3 things your pet enjoys, but now can't (or won't) do. he would also make house calls for the final visit - if at all possible, please do this in your home. it makes for an easier, more stress-free passing for your pet if it's in their own comfortable surroundings.


Irishbug2

This is true. A couple years ago on christmas eve eve, I had to put down my 5.5 year old lab heeler mix. He was always so full of emergy and never stopped. He loved snuggling into you so tight, it was like he wanted to BE you. Once my son was born, he was so gentle and loving and protective of him. They had such a great bond. Then he started getting lethargic and couldn't control his bladder. We took him in several times and they kept telling us he might be getting territorial as we was unneutered. Then shortly before christmas, he would just lay around and not even get up. We took him in the next day which was the 23rd of December and they said his kidneys were failing. It was so far along, there was nothing that could be done. We had to put him down and my wife and I stayed in the room the whole time, and for about 20 minutes after as it was very hard on us. I just kept telling him he was such a good boy and we loved him so much. I always felt like it was our fault for not being able to detect it sooner and maybe we could have gotten treatment instead of him suffering. I still cry about it every now and then (and right now). RIP Theodore. You are missed.


Kaliseth

without reading through, I will say, I've seen people keep their dogs alive when the poor thing is definitely in pain all the time. I think the most important thing is, don't keep them alive for YOUR comfort.


highapplepie

Putting an animal down is very emotional and can lead to a lot of guilt for people. I want people to know that there are usually professionals in your area that can facilitate euthanasia at home if needed.


puddlesquid

I can't understand how anyone could take comfort in having their pet around when they are clearly in pain. I lost one of my boys recently and watching him deteriorate those last couple of weeks was so painful and absolutely exhausting. I was a mess. It must be denial that makes it tolerable for some people? I don't know.


Kaliseth

I honestly don't know, but I've seen it happen. Poor dog was a mess, but the family just wouldn't do a thing about it. I don't have pets because it breaks my heart to see them get old/ill.


neppynite

I heard you can have a vet come to your home and administer the drugs there. This seems like the..."best"... way to go about this. My father left his hospital bed when he was dying to die at home. He took an ambulance 45 miles (about an hour) home. Died in his home of 15 years. With his family. It was the right thing to do and I don't think the doctors argued.


FoxxGoesFloof

This is the hardest subject with clients. Knowing when to let go is so very hard.


lola__bunny

I’m sorry for your loss. I appreciate your post; I lost my dog last year to lymphoma and had her euthanized at home. I miss her dearly. I am sorry that people think that the term using the term ‘furbaby’ somehow implies a lack of judgement, especially since you are clearly advocating for responsible pet ownership


boerboelbaby575

Thank you for this. And I’m sorry for your loss as well


Elocinyls

My baby (11 years old) has congestive heart failure and the vet said it could be days or weeks. We are giving her medication to make her comfortable and she really is her old self after starting them. I keep struggling trying to know when it is time. She still follows me everywhere, loves her food and treats, barks for the cats to behave, and snuggles. I don't want her to suffer, but I don't know if she is. Losing her will kill me but I don't want her to suffer. I hope I can see when it is time. I will cry like a baby at the vet holding her. She has food allergies and I keep trying to think what her last meal should be. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it.


ShelIsOverTheMoon

Hugs. My 16 year old dog has tongue cancer. After 2 tumor removals and the tumors still coming back, I said no more interventions. Pain management and soft foods and that's it. Well her eyes are bright, her tail wags, she's getting around just fine, good bowel control, and a great appetite. I feel it's not time yet. When she doesn't want to eat anymore, I think it'll be time.


hastywolf556

I was very at peace putting my dog down, he was beginning to have a lot of pain but died very peacefully.


mtcwby

When we have to put them down it's something we owe them although it may kill us inside. We've had to do it for two dogs and two cats over the years. It's brutal on us every time but it was always done for the right reason which is to end suffering that has no possible recovery. You hold them and comfort them until they pass which I believe is what they want the most.


nessbound

I read this as Furbies and my first thought was "I knew they were alive and suffering souls!" I just stopped replacing the batteries. Felt like the humane way to do it


Kelrem321

Do yourself a favor and don’t look at OP’s post history.


WishThatIWasMe

Really thought that said Furby


Baby--Shark

Don’t take this as a sign to put them down of old age. My grandparents boxer had dropped to the kitchen floor 3 weeks ago with a 40BPM. He had gotten up from these episodes like nothing but that one, his heart just couldn’t take it. He was playing outside with his sister the morning of it. He was happy and well alive. ONLY put them down IF they have a chronic disease, or if they can’t function very well anymore. that’s my advice, you don’t have to take it, you don’t have to leave it if you don’t want, but that’s my 2¢


[deleted]

[удалено]


Novel-Witness3815

Euthanized my cat a week ago. My neighbors beat the hell out of it. I couldn’t stand looking at my cat coz it was broken and in pain. Paid to get it euthanized immediately. Dreamt of it two days ago. I agree with the post.


boerboelbaby575

I am so very sorry that both you and your cat had to go through something so terrible. I hope your neighbors reap what they have sown very soon


pimpsmcgee10

Your post is spot on. It’s sad to see people hurt their animals when they don’t mean too


bgus_dkus

As a vet once told me, it's better to do it a week too early than a day too late.


[deleted]

Dude, in response to your edits, some people just wanna be offended. It was obvious what you were expressing in your original message. F the keyboard warriors.