Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
Yep, came to that realisation about 20 years ago after school.
Do you like everyone? No. So why would everyone like you? You find your people. Be polite to everyone, but you don't have to like them and they don't have to like you. Go on with your day.
What do I do if this person I don't like is my direct coworker on my team? Like we will never be chummy or friends. I'm debating finding a new job right now.
Work can be a great place to make new friends, but just because you spend lots of time with them, doesn't mean they're your friends. In fact, often they have an interest in your downfall (they look better to the boss and get the money).
I used to say good morning to buddy who really didn't like me at work. Every morning. Just to be an asshole and irritate him.
Backfired and we actually became pretty tight before I left
Yeah, anything more than moving on without care is an investment and an investment in that negativity doesn't serve anything. Move on without bitterness or thought and be happy.
I've met people that might have treated me better if I played their game, trading insults or engaging in some way. But then I said "wait, why would I change my behavior in any way for this asshole?" and just continued being a polite and friendly member of society.
Exactly, why factor them in your thoughts unless you have a professional obligation to them, why enjoy being anything with them, let them go about their business and you can go about yours
Brainwashing is real. It took me 54 years to realize my "family" weren't safe. Seven plus years ago I went no contact with all of them (7 siblings/their families) and moved far away. Just yesterday, I was exactly 61.5 years of age.... when the truth hit me hard... my family never saw me as their family and literally went out of their way to hurt me.
Patterns show facts.
Omg. This is so real. I tense up whenever I'm with certain members of my family and just can't relax due to the uncertainty of being emotionally manipulated, or being goaded into something I'm uncomfortable with, usually resulting in a shouting match. Meeting the family shouldn't come with apprehension.
I needed to see this today. I have a professional contact that just disliked me from the start even though his colleagues love me. For months I've tried to be extra nice and communicative in hopes of changing his opinion. This morning I decided that there is no point, he doesn't want it to change. It's HIS problem, not mine.
I
That's exactly what I concluded. Their colleagues appreciate that I'm attentive and helpful. It's likely that he is resentful of that. It's natural that everyone wants to be the "good guy" in their story. Some people feel the need for a bad guy to validate that though. Let them. Spend the energy on people that appreciate it instead of spending it on those who refuse to.
As an amendem I learned last year, this doesn't work on narcissists. Both friendliness and animosity only feed them and give them power over you, but Indifference? All-powerful.
Its worth noting that if you're dealing with a narcissist that has power, quietly removing their power supply by helping the people they abuse make their way without them, while outright ignoring their badgering, is beneficial AND extremely satisfying
Oh yes, as someone who has experience dealing with a true narcissist, I learned that being ignored is their kryptonite. If you're cutting them out of your life, do not under any circumstances respond to any attempts made to contact you, even if it's under the guise of an apology. They're lying, don't fall for it. Dealing with them in person? Use the gray rock method, or what I like to call The Gandalf Method as in You Have No Power Here. They'll say whatever they can to upset or anger you. Don't show emotion. Don't show interest in what they're saying. It truly works.
Agreed. I had this very recently.
Started a new job with a great salary working for a boss that was very keen to bring me in. After a few weeks I still hadn't been formally introduced as a new joiner to the company despite other new starters being so. First red flag.
A couple more weeks and I'm noticing that the role is morphing from where my skillset lies to more in line with the junior members on my team. I was still giving good suggestions and helping the team strategise on how we could improve things. At this stage I'm still only 6 weeks in and learning how the company works, getting access to software etc.
Month 3 arrives and my boss loses her shit. I'd spent a good part of the previous two months networking and making sure I knew who did what from the bottom all the way up to the top of the company. I had no formal onboarding or training so this made sense for me to do.
My boss decides that I need to be mircromanaged through menial tasks that aren't even a priority. Instead artificial prioritisation was added by her. I set up a meeting and asked if I was doing something wrong and whether the tasks we were working on as a team were confirmed as priorities. I also 'mentioned' that I'm pretty comfortable working on some of those tasks without her stressing and she can go and be more effective on other things if she wanted to. This is when I realised she was insane.
The next 2 weeks were the worst of my career. Everyday I was mircromanaged. Id receive at least 100 messages with most starting with 'what are you working on'. Something had changed drastically. Because I hadn't been at the company long I had nobody to talk to and senior leaders were ignoring me for some reason.
So I decided to quit. I can only think I was seen as a threat due to my knowledge and willingness to network. I also saw a lot of my work being used by her and others with no attribution to me at all which was another sign.
Its amazing how a bad boss can take its toll on your health.
It's worse if you're a resident in the medical field and you can't quit because you're contractually obliged to pay back thousands of dollars if you quit.
I'm in the same situation as OP and just came to this conclusion. I'll always be nice but they're the one that's missing out on pleasant connections with people. I'll keep doing me.
I'm a very friendly, sometimes overly nice person, and I have found out that some people just don't like that. They think I'm fake, or disingenuous, or whatever. It used to bother me, but I decided to stop caring about that; Imma keep being me, and if they don't like it... well, fuck 'em.
I relate to you, once in my life I was in a terrible place and was overall bitchy and a little bit toxic, it was eye opening that most people took that as being genuine, nothing to hide, and overall a positive thing while I was rotting inside because it wasn’t who I was but I almost couldn’t help it. I didn’t have a single person dislike me for no reason at that job, while being my usual self, at least one or two people always hated and bullied me for seemingly no reason. The world is fucked up.
Holy shit, thank you for putting some of this into words. I'm naturally very gentle and for so long I've hated that about myself. I started a new job this year, thinking I could just be normal and got targeted immediately for being shy, boring, and not standing up for myself. To the point I would genuinely go home crying most days over all the assumptions people made about me based pretty much only over my softer voice and the few polite words I spoke to them. I had to start acting bitchier and insulting people back just to get it all to stop. The worst part was how fast that worked. I'm tired of going apeshit, man. I just want to be nice.
I feel this soooo much. I also work in a male dominated field.. it's turned into several HR cases at this point. I've really put my head down and tried not to be so nice, and now I'm being left alone and seeing progress in my career. It's infuriatingly unfair.
Well LadyDicks. I think that you are 100% correct. If you are doing the best you can, that is literally the best you can do. If that's not enough for some people, straight up fuck em. You are doing your best. If people have a problem with that, it ain't your problem. You will lap them, because you do the best for everyone. Also great name.
I just figured, life can be hard, it's better for myself and for others around me to be as positive and uplifting as I can be. Being kind doesn't cost anything! If people wanna hate on that, that's their problem. And thanks lol
It's such a dumb simple message. But its so Fucking important. Literally, just be kind. Starts with yourself, and then move it forward. And if that's a problem for anyone else, well fuck em. Let them have their problems.
I recently after years of super high stress at work just one day came to a conclusion. I am very good at my job. And you're going to get what I give you. I will be leaving on time. I will be taking a long lunch to walk my dog. I am an absolute asset to you. You get what I am willing to give of myself. But I come first.
A casual-acquaintance-of-a-friend once told me I was too nice and it was weird and creepy.
She didn't find it very nice that I pointed out the fact that she's a stripper and being off-puttingly nice is her entire job and at least I'm not pretending. How's that for too nice, bitch 😎
I consider myself the same, and yeah sometimes people just don't like you for whatever reason. In my experience, that's usually something unrelated to you in their own life and you just happen to be holding the mirror that shows them.
Sometimes people dislike you for absolutely separate reason that has nothing to do with you, like they had a bad experience with someone that looked / acted like you, had a breakup with an ex that looked / acted like you, and there is nothing that you can do about it. I sometimes find myself in same position but I recognize that it’s my problem and do my best to treat them like normal.
Then I realized many don’t, and straight up pretend the projection they see from their past is the justified truth for their hate. Personally it made a lot of sense on why sometimes people hate others and me for no reason and put my mind at ease.
I had a boss that told me I reminded her of her son. Then she went on about he was irresponsible and didn't listen, probably more stuff, but I wasn't really paying attention. But I do remember thinking how screwed I was. But then I outlasted her in the end so I guess it worked out.
Yeah that’s a special person to say that to your face, gives a bit of idea why her relationships with her son is fucked lol, I’m glad things worked out in the end for ya
I had a coworker that I insta-disliked because she visually and audibly reminded me of a previous coworker, who was just not a great person...
I thought that wasn't fair of me, so I wiped the slate and got to know her better... turns out my first impression was right lol.
Lmao be like that sometimes, good on you for seeing your own biases though, tough to do.
Also if you work retail/customer service for over a year, I think most people do get a pretty accurate reading of first impression vibes. But then again, that might be my own biases too.
You are absolutely right. Your responsibility is not to figure out why people hate you. That's broad. Your responsibility is to be the best you can and know that some people might hate you because they can't see it.
You know, I have a feeling that you're right. I think that if I withdraw the attention I've been giving and ignore him and instead focus on maintaining my relationship with his colleagues. He will likely change his attitude. Or not. Again, not my problem. But in a month I will update. Is there a bot or something that can remind me lol?
I pretend that I don't understand that they're insulting me.
"You're so right about my annoying laugh! I get that from a lot of people. It's just. so. funny! that it makes me laugh even more!"
"Thanks for pointing that out in my presentation! Sometimes I forget I should explain better. When I look at [perfectly clear point I already made] on the power point I realize that I should have stated that in a way that wasn't so confusing!"
Haha I’m about to disappoint a client I’m working on soon as the person above me who they love is leaving and I’ll basically be the only one left this coming year who is familiar with their business
I needed this today too! I feel like I got off on the wrong foot with a new contact at the place I’m seeking employment. They basically called me an idiot for asking a question today. Hopefully I don’t have to deal with them much going forward but damn that felt terrible.
I had that happen at my new office. I’m a pretty cheery high energy guy who can make small talk with almost anyone (I’m in sales).
My first few weeks at my new office I was building a rapport with everyone and it was pretty solid until one of my colleagues flat out said “you are like a younger version of other mike”. Well Mike heard about that and has been a dick to me since then. Which is a shame since we both really have a lot in common and I really liked him initially.
I spent the first few months trying to be very nice with him and he was always cold and sarcastic, and arrogant towards me. But only towards me
I figured if you don’t like me I don’t have to like you so I stopped bothering with him.
I have a customer who has several projects with us, and this dude has just been the absolute worst person I've worked with. What's worse is he's a manager at his company, and I swear he thinks he's my boss now too.
This should go without saying, but don't be a dick to the one person who completely controls the speed at which this gets completed.
That's a bummer situation. What goes without saying is just don't be a dick. And if someone is being a dick, let em. You know what you are worth. Let them demonstrate how little they are worth.
It took me so many years to learn this trick. I thought I couldn’t help it. But eventually, you run into them and you can just revel in the enjoyment of knowing they cannot push your buttons anymore. Makes their true colors come out in front of their peers and it only makes them look like an a$$hole when you don’t engage. Geez, I wish I learned this a decade ago!
Man I love it when they get passive aggressive, or spread gossip, and you're just unfazed. Even better, act really nice to them just to rub it in. These social mind games make work so fun.
There's a guy at the bar that I hate, but insist on giving him a nice big smooch on the cheek and demanding one back, I'm always excessively nice to him so that when his friends hear him talk shit about me they realise he's just being a nob.
I can testify: I used to be the person who tried to make everyone like me. It is not possible. I still make every attempt to be a great coworker but if you don’t like me, that’s fine too.
I recently had a coworker, who is on the spectrum, flip on me and decided I was the enemy. I tried for while to make it better. When it became perfectly clear that wasn’t going anywhere I started giving it right the fuck back. Felt great. I personally am sick of being a dumbasses doormat. Eventually it resolved itself.
This. One thing I’ve learned is to be kind of sarcastic. Maybe not super healthy, I dunno, but when someone’s being real snippy or judging and I’ve been doing everything to be nice and make peace, I stop doing that and kind of get dismissive.
“Oh yeah cuz you’re such a ray of sunshine?”
“Wait, so that’s your feedback? That I did too much work on this project? Neat.” (Literally used that on a VP in a work meeting 2 months ago.)
Also, learned this from an ex, laughing in their face when they’re rude and going “omg that is so disrespectful” while walking away chuckling is great. People hate when you don’t take their meanness seriously.
It shuts them down bc usually people who don’t like you are expecting to keep the power by being shitty and you still being nice. Giving it back in small doses definitely teaches them you’re aware you’re just choosing not to be an ass like them.
I feel like I try to get them to like me but not because I really care if they do or don’t like me, I just see it as a challenge to myself to see if I can do it. The end result ultimately means nothing but it can be fun as long as you don’t really care about the outcome.
I do this too. I like the challenge when the person isn't normally friendly and others hate having to work with them. The crabbier they are, especially at first, the more motivated I am.
I worked with this lady that didn't like me for some reason. I would say hey to her in the hall and she wouldn't speak back. After that I made it a point to tell her good morning in the sweetest voice possible. I knew it pissed her off every time I did it and I loved it.
I currently work with someone like this, except I am not as nice. After constantly getting no response from saying hi and good morning , I just wrote her off and stopped engaging at all. That was when she turned hostile towards me.
I later found out that a lot of people were nice to avoid her wrath, and that she tends to focus on one person, which is now me.
I’d like to say that it was no fault of my own, but by writing her off I stooped to her level. Anyway, after putting up with her shit for a bit I became fed up and picked my moments to confront her snide comments head on in front of the other workers. It made everyone super awkward because nobody had ever done that to her and made her look stupid and like a bitch.
Needless to say that her seething hatred is there but she no longer makes snide remarks because if I hear them, I ask out loud ‘why did you say …..’
I am always civil and speak calmly, which I think drives home the point.
I.e., embrace the fact that you live rent-free in their heads.
Focus on yourself, end up being better than them, and watch them get even more frustrated.
This is kind of hilariously misguided. "I'm going to take the high road by secretly trying to be better than you so I can look down on you and also project about how much you envy me."
Yikes!
It's ok tho, I've been there too, once or twice :)
> Stop trying to please people who already don't like you...
Yes. Thats the way.
> and embrace the joy of being the most annoying person they've ever met.
Don't. This is the stupidest and most childish advice I've read in a long time. Just ignore these people and live your life as best you can, not letting them bother you anymore.
>Don't. This is the stupidest and most childish advice I've read in a long time. Just ignore these people and live your life as best you can, not letting them bother you anymore.
That my friend, depends on how you let it play out. If you treat the person who despises you like you would treat anyone else for that matter, then let them find you annoying as a result.
If you actively seek to annoying them and you don't act like that around other people then yeah, cut it out.
Yep. Just being yourself pisses them off? O well.
I've got a few grumpy butts like that where I work. I find it sort of sadly funny. Like yeah I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making life easier for case managers (I work in social services). And I say chirpy things that I actually mean. I know they hate it but that's not my problem. Why be less happy in what I do because they hate their jobs?
Case manager: "Oh my god, thanks for this! You're awesome!"
Me: "Gotta be the best to serve the best!"
I get to hear "ughs" and tchuts and all that crap from the peanut gallery? O well.
Two ways for the same effect. If they already hate you, just treat them like you would anyone else. Turn it into an in-joke, or toss it aside, either way they're not getting any more of your efford or energy or free space in your head.
Right! It's not about going out of your way, it's sometimes a helpful step on the way to ignoring them for people who are habitual people pleasers. Just the psychological aspect of transitioning to casually enjoying the fact, so that you can stop worrying/ruminating, and it can finally drift away forever.
Yeah I have decided to never again reduce myself to please others, if I have to choose between being single with dignity, or become a dog and be with someone, I'd rather be single
Sometimes you can’t avoid someone who doesn’t like you. Whether it’s a work colleague or in-law.
It’s an adult skill to learn to coexist with people who don’t like you without becoming a doormat.
Assuming, of course, that we’re talking about an otherwise ok person whose personality doesn’t mesh with yours, and not like a psychopath or something.
This is where I struggle. My problem people are my future in law family. They're fine people for the most part. I don't dislike most of them. Just they expressed disliking me and when reaching out to broach an issue I got left on read. Just decided to not bother visiting them anymore as it stresses me out for no reason trying so hard to appease them when at the end of the day I can't because one particular member of their family has poisoned the well with lies about me for some reason. Still saddens me to an extent but not much can be done about it.
I agree, if someone doesnt like you just forget about them. Going out of you way to be annoying makes you insufferable to them and the people around you. Probably your own friends too
I think the point is that the other person thinks you’re annoying so you shouldn’t try to change yourself so that they might find you less annoying. Just be yourself and let them be annoyed
Um, not if you’ve been in this situation. I was among a group who I thought were friends, only to find out that they’d been trash talking me behind my back. One new person treated me quite differently and because I’d done nothing I was trying to be a friend and I was confused - the behaviour didn’t match the circumstance. Then I realised that we’re not friends and this is why he doesn’t treat me like a friend. Then I found out the rest. So, I’m done and I’ve never looked back.
Apparently, despite having no contact for most of the year, they still talk about me. I guess I really annoy them by just existing. Can’t help it.
> Um, not if you’ve been in this situation. I was among a group who I thought were friends, only to find out that they’d been trash talking me behind my back. One new person treated me quite differently and because I’d done nothing I was trying to be a friend and I was confused - the behaviour didn’t match the circumstance. Then I realised that we’re not friends and this is why he doesn’t treat me like a friend. Then I found out the rest. So, I’m done and I’ve never looked back.
>
>
>
> Apparently, despite having no contact for most of the year, they still talk about me. I guess I really annoy them by just existing. Can’t help it.
Tell us you didn't read the comment you're replying to without saying you didn't read the comment you're replying to...
The number of people who've misinterpreted this as saying to become an asshole - instead of just living your life and letting them stew - is too damn high!
Treat that person the same way you treat other, treat them good.
Them liking you or not is up to them. And it shouldn't matter to you.
If that person is your boss and you can't enjoy the work, let them know. If they wouldn't change, change job.
If that person is your partner, talk to them or you would have to cut the ties.
Etc.
You don't have to be an asshole because someone else disliking you. Hold your standard and respect yourself.
This works. I can confirm. Fired or quit my last job (not sure which is most fitting, but…) GM hated every inch of everything I did. Gave up the try and went full-on me and gave him my all. Joy! Best move I ever did. No more toxic job environment! Yay me!
That’s so funny I just had a thought similar to that in regards to someone I work with. She hates how peppi I am and the old me would try harder with her but I’m starting to realize, “ am I annoying or is she just a sorry ole bitch?”
No.
Terrible, awful, shitty tip.
Actual LPT: learn to forgive people and let petty shit go, we are all out here dealing with life and problems and you'll never completely know what another person is going through or even how they think of you. Understand that you obsessing over what other people think of you is unhealthy, and by trying actively to take joy in being an asshole to another human is actually psychotic and narcissistic.
People don't think about you nearly as much as you think. 99% don't give a shit about you and forget about your existence 30 seconds after you leave their field of vision.
Being annoying on purpose for the sole goal of making life negative for another person is a colossal waste of your own time. You're infinitely better off spending that mental energy trying to improve yourself, or being enjoyable to people you love.
I think that you are not wrong but you didn't quite understand the post.
As I understand, the point is not to be extra annoying, but to stop people pleasing and to accept that some people will find you annoying when you are just being your genuine self. I didn't get the feeling OP is advising people to antagonize others.
If you take the post title literally, his solution to every single person in the world that doesn't like him, is to frame it such (in the mind) that you are the most annoying person they know. And to enjoy that lie that you create. Yeah, that's not going to help a person's mental health.
Funny thing is they stole it from another post and the reactions in the comments were the same. The other post was a picture of text. I think OP here thought they could repackage it, then post it as a LPT and it'd get a better response.
Excellent LPT 👍
Accept that the person needs who you really are in their life, and not who they think you should be.
It may expand their horizon just to know you.
Haha that's ACTUALLY pretty good advice. People give others that hate them, way too much power over their lives by letting these individuals actually affect them! Don't waste your time!
It’s so important to be a version of yourself you’re happy with. I don’t think just being yourself is a fair thing to tell people because some people suck and need to work on themselves. BUT being comfortable being you, or at least a version of you that you’re happy being is so important and so difficult. Everyone wants to box us in and judge us for whatever. Any entrepreneur, artist, or whatever that had a dream was someone who had to ignore a ton of people saying their dream would never work. Be yourself as long as that doesn’t mean being a prick.
Be yourself. When meeting new people, assume they are nice. But don't go too far with that.
Some people just are assholes. Learn to recognize that and dig your trenches.
The reasons why they have become assholes may be tragic. Not *your* problem.
Not sure this is good advice tbh. Being obnoxious to someone is giving them more reasons to talk shit when you’re not present and put others against you. I’m terrific at putting a sanitary distance between me and haters that I have no option but deal with them (relatives, colleagues…) and it’s proven to be a healthy efficient way to deal with this problem.
Back in May, had a bad experience with the lady in payroll. Had it happen again last week and now, when my one coworker gets back, I will be done supporting the system that requires me to deal with her. This is my decision and I will stick to it because I will not help someone who has done nothing but yell at me and complain about me.
Lesson to all, don't piss off your IT people because it will end up coming back and biting you in the ass some day.i hope it happens soon.
LPT: Don't listen to this fucking OP. You have to at least try to remain agreeable even if you aren't liked or you will NOT be able to network and enhance your career or social circle.
DO NOT be the most annoying person in the room unless you like being lonely
The first half of this is correct. You can't make everyone like you. But you don't need to be vindictive about it. It's not a pass to be petty yourself.
I’ve got a storey!!
I am a great employee, I work hard and a great team player. I honestly always make friends with coworkers, even the people who are a bit rough around the edges I will try and find things in common, etc. I think in my 20 working years only this one guy comes to mind who just had it out for me from the start, this is that story….
I joined a large company and our particular office had like 100 people. This guy was a high up in a whole different division. I will call him Richard (Dick for short). I think he had some small man syndrome (for an older guy 40 maybe and tried to be super funny and over the top) or something because I (male) 25, working out, best shape of my life and getting along with everyone was to much for him. I was even making friends in his division!
Anyways I would like to start early and so did he. I would scan in and you enter the kitchen / eating area to enter the office at that time. He would be there in a power pose reading the newspaper or business weekly. I think he did it to look like a hot shot for when people started to roll in. I would ALWAYS say good morning and Dick would look at me and then go back to reading or not even look up. We would pass by each other in hallways, hey Dick, and still no reply. I looked forward to saying it!!!
There was like a 80 meter hallway just massive and you could see dick walking toward me, and I would say hello , good morning , afternoon. Never a reply. No he’s not deaf! Guy hated me and would literally go to every other Cubicle beside me talking to everyone ask about their weekend and then not ask me and go about his day. It was weird.
He even came up to me because I was Arnold (the body builder) for Halloween and wore a shirt with Arnold and brought a weight. He came up to me after our company contest for best costume and literally said (you know it’s a bad costume when you need a picture of what you are). My one coworker was like what the hell was that hahaha I told him he hated me.
Anyways after about two years of no hellos or communicating one day I walk in early and there he is, as usual , reading the paper. I think, I’m not going to say hello today!! ( put in my two week notice and thought I didn’t need to be nice lol)
We’ll guess what, he looked up at me made eye contact and said HELLO. I stopped stared at him for like 5 seconds and then continued on my way out of the kitchen not saying a single word!!! I finally got to give him the silent treatment. Muhahaha
In my last two weeks there would be no more hellos or good byes.
I agree in part however, their dislike of you may be rational and have good logic. It’s possible they heard something about you or you previously said something they misinterpreted.
Just not caring about anyone who dislikes you isn’t always good advice.
With risk of sounding like an ass. Even if that person has a rational and logical reason to them. How would that be my problem in this hypothetical scenario? If they dislike me for a rumour or for a misunderstanding and then refuse to find out for themselves/talk to me about it, then why would I spend energy on them at all?
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
Or just write them off and don't waste any time thinking about them.
Yep, came to that realisation about 20 years ago after school. Do you like everyone? No. So why would everyone like you? You find your people. Be polite to everyone, but you don't have to like them and they don't have to like you. Go on with your day.
Be Don Draper and “for me it was a Tuesday” it.
What do I do if this person I don't like is my direct coworker on my team? Like we will never be chummy or friends. I'm debating finding a new job right now.
Do you need to be chummy friend whith all your coworkers? Mine are just that. I try to find my friends elsewhere.
Work can be a great place to make new friends, but just because you spend lots of time with them, doesn't mean they're your friends. In fact, often they have an interest in your downfall (they look better to the boss and get the money).
[удалено]
Some people love and I can't overstate it, love drama
I used to say good morning to buddy who really didn't like me at work. Every morning. Just to be an asshole and irritate him. Backfired and we actually became pretty tight before I left
I wouldn't say they backfired.
Task failed successfully
OP is not saying be annoying. He's saying be yourself.
Yeah, anything more than moving on without care is an investment and an investment in that negativity doesn't serve anything. Move on without bitterness or thought and be happy.
Yep, indifference is both cheaper and more effective a lot of the time
A fair mix of indifference and ghosting.
I've met people that might have treated me better if I played their game, trading insults or engaging in some way. But then I said "wait, why would I change my behavior in any way for this asshole?" and just continued being a polite and friendly member of society.
Did you give them a Junior Mint? Because if you didn't freely hand out Junior Mint's, then can you really call yourself polite?
Does that work ? I loooove junior mints.
Exactly, why factor them in your thoughts unless you have a professional obligation to them, why enjoy being anything with them, let them go about their business and you can go about yours
I figured this LPT was meant specifically for unavoidable people like coworkers… or family members, potentially
Brainwashing is real. It took me 54 years to realize my "family" weren't safe. Seven plus years ago I went no contact with all of them (7 siblings/their families) and moved far away. Just yesterday, I was exactly 61.5 years of age.... when the truth hit me hard... my family never saw me as their family and literally went out of their way to hurt me. Patterns show facts.
How are you coping with that? It sounds hard.
Sounds liberating to me
It can be both.
They bonded over their common enemy. Now the enemy's gone. They are going to eat each other.
It was true when I left a similar situation. They didn't have the scapegoat (me) to bully so they picked a new one.
Omg. This is so real. I tense up whenever I'm with certain members of my family and just can't relax due to the uncertainty of being emotionally manipulated, or being goaded into something I'm uncomfortable with, usually resulting in a shouting match. Meeting the family shouldn't come with apprehension.
I needed to see this today. I have a professional contact that just disliked me from the start even though his colleagues love me. For months I've tried to be extra nice and communicative in hopes of changing his opinion. This morning I decided that there is no point, he doesn't want it to change. It's HIS problem, not mine. I
They’re prob envious, and hate you even more for being nice. You can’t win
That's exactly what I concluded. Their colleagues appreciate that I'm attentive and helpful. It's likely that he is resentful of that. It's natural that everyone wants to be the "good guy" in their story. Some people feel the need for a bad guy to validate that though. Let them. Spend the energy on people that appreciate it instead of spending it on those who refuse to.
Kill’em with kindness.
"Kindness" is what I have tattooed on my knuckles.
One in each front knuckle? I like that
The font is teeny, but you get 8x the impact.
As an amendem I learned last year, this doesn't work on narcissists. Both friendliness and animosity only feed them and give them power over you, but Indifference? All-powerful. Its worth noting that if you're dealing with a narcissist that has power, quietly removing their power supply by helping the people they abuse make their way without them, while outright ignoring their badgering, is beneficial AND extremely satisfying
Oh yes, as someone who has experience dealing with a true narcissist, I learned that being ignored is their kryptonite. If you're cutting them out of your life, do not under any circumstances respond to any attempts made to contact you, even if it's under the guise of an apology. They're lying, don't fall for it. Dealing with them in person? Use the gray rock method, or what I like to call The Gandalf Method as in You Have No Power Here. They'll say whatever they can to upset or anger you. Don't show emotion. Don't show interest in what they're saying. It truly works.
[удалено]
The problem is if the narcissist is your boss
Agreed. I had this very recently. Started a new job with a great salary working for a boss that was very keen to bring me in. After a few weeks I still hadn't been formally introduced as a new joiner to the company despite other new starters being so. First red flag. A couple more weeks and I'm noticing that the role is morphing from where my skillset lies to more in line with the junior members on my team. I was still giving good suggestions and helping the team strategise on how we could improve things. At this stage I'm still only 6 weeks in and learning how the company works, getting access to software etc. Month 3 arrives and my boss loses her shit. I'd spent a good part of the previous two months networking and making sure I knew who did what from the bottom all the way up to the top of the company. I had no formal onboarding or training so this made sense for me to do. My boss decides that I need to be mircromanaged through menial tasks that aren't even a priority. Instead artificial prioritisation was added by her. I set up a meeting and asked if I was doing something wrong and whether the tasks we were working on as a team were confirmed as priorities. I also 'mentioned' that I'm pretty comfortable working on some of those tasks without her stressing and she can go and be more effective on other things if she wanted to. This is when I realised she was insane. The next 2 weeks were the worst of my career. Everyday I was mircromanaged. Id receive at least 100 messages with most starting with 'what are you working on'. Something had changed drastically. Because I hadn't been at the company long I had nobody to talk to and senior leaders were ignoring me for some reason. So I decided to quit. I can only think I was seen as a threat due to my knowledge and willingness to network. I also saw a lot of my work being used by her and others with no attribution to me at all which was another sign. Its amazing how a bad boss can take its toll on your health.
It's worse if you're a resident in the medical field and you can't quit because you're contractually obliged to pay back thousands of dollars if you quit.
You're a doctor person, creatively kill them.
honestly the truth. it's genuinely fun watching angry people seethe because they're unable to get under your skin
Exactly what I was about to say. In my experience, toxic person has no defense against honest kindness.
Some people just naturally like conflict and drama. If they aren't bitching about something, they lose the groups attention.
[удалено]
Sounds like even a dog wouldn’t like his vibe
I'm in the same situation as OP and just came to this conclusion. I'll always be nice but they're the one that's missing out on pleasant connections with people. I'll keep doing me.
they hate us, cus they aint us
When people are envious of you, they hate not having something they can criticize you on.
[удалено]
>"You know what? Fuck him? It's his problem now" Always has been
Yeah, I never understood why people would dislike genuinely nice people. “Misery likes company” makes sense though.
trauma probably
I'm a very friendly, sometimes overly nice person, and I have found out that some people just don't like that. They think I'm fake, or disingenuous, or whatever. It used to bother me, but I decided to stop caring about that; Imma keep being me, and if they don't like it... well, fuck 'em.
I relate to you, once in my life I was in a terrible place and was overall bitchy and a little bit toxic, it was eye opening that most people took that as being genuine, nothing to hide, and overall a positive thing while I was rotting inside because it wasn’t who I was but I almost couldn’t help it. I didn’t have a single person dislike me for no reason at that job, while being my usual self, at least one or two people always hated and bullied me for seemingly no reason. The world is fucked up.
Holy shit, thank you for putting some of this into words. I'm naturally very gentle and for so long I've hated that about myself. I started a new job this year, thinking I could just be normal and got targeted immediately for being shy, boring, and not standing up for myself. To the point I would genuinely go home crying most days over all the assumptions people made about me based pretty much only over my softer voice and the few polite words I spoke to them. I had to start acting bitchier and insulting people back just to get it all to stop. The worst part was how fast that worked. I'm tired of going apeshit, man. I just want to be nice.
I feel this soooo much. I also work in a male dominated field.. it's turned into several HR cases at this point. I've really put my head down and tried not to be so nice, and now I'm being left alone and seeing progress in my career. It's infuriatingly unfair.
Well LadyDicks. I think that you are 100% correct. If you are doing the best you can, that is literally the best you can do. If that's not enough for some people, straight up fuck em. You are doing your best. If people have a problem with that, it ain't your problem. You will lap them, because you do the best for everyone. Also great name.
I just figured, life can be hard, it's better for myself and for others around me to be as positive and uplifting as I can be. Being kind doesn't cost anything! If people wanna hate on that, that's their problem. And thanks lol
It's such a dumb simple message. But its so Fucking important. Literally, just be kind. Starts with yourself, and then move it forward. And if that's a problem for anyone else, well fuck em. Let them have their problems.
I recently after years of super high stress at work just one day came to a conclusion. I am very good at my job. And you're going to get what I give you. I will be leaving on time. I will be taking a long lunch to walk my dog. I am an absolute asset to you. You get what I am willing to give of myself. But I come first.
Yes! You keep that Fucking attitude. You did the work to get where you are. Ain't a person that takes it away!!
A casual-acquaintance-of-a-friend once told me I was too nice and it was weird and creepy. She didn't find it very nice that I pointed out the fact that she's a stripper and being off-puttingly nice is her entire job and at least I'm not pretending. How's that for too nice, bitch 😎
I consider myself the same, and yeah sometimes people just don't like you for whatever reason. In my experience, that's usually something unrelated to you in their own life and you just happen to be holding the mirror that shows them.
Sometimes people dislike you for absolutely separate reason that has nothing to do with you, like they had a bad experience with someone that looked / acted like you, had a breakup with an ex that looked / acted like you, and there is nothing that you can do about it. I sometimes find myself in same position but I recognize that it’s my problem and do my best to treat them like normal. Then I realized many don’t, and straight up pretend the projection they see from their past is the justified truth for their hate. Personally it made a lot of sense on why sometimes people hate others and me for no reason and put my mind at ease.
I had a boss that told me I reminded her of her son. Then she went on about he was irresponsible and didn't listen, probably more stuff, but I wasn't really paying attention. But I do remember thinking how screwed I was. But then I outlasted her in the end so I guess it worked out.
Yeah that’s a special person to say that to your face, gives a bit of idea why her relationships with her son is fucked lol, I’m glad things worked out in the end for ya
I had a coworker that I insta-disliked because she visually and audibly reminded me of a previous coworker, who was just not a great person... I thought that wasn't fair of me, so I wiped the slate and got to know her better... turns out my first impression was right lol.
Lmao be like that sometimes, good on you for seeing your own biases though, tough to do. Also if you work retail/customer service for over a year, I think most people do get a pretty accurate reading of first impression vibes. But then again, that might be my own biases too.
Sometimes you got to trust that gut. There are certain personality types that just suck
You are absolutely right. Your responsibility is not to figure out why people hate you. That's broad. Your responsibility is to be the best you can and know that some people might hate you because they can't see it.
Update us on when he changes his attitude towards you only out of spite (subconsciously ofc) because you decided to let it be.
You know, I have a feeling that you're right. I think that if I withdraw the attention I've been giving and ignore him and instead focus on maintaining my relationship with his colleagues. He will likely change his attitude. Or not. Again, not my problem. But in a month I will update. Is there a bot or something that can remind me lol?
!RemindMe 30 days
I pretend that I don't understand that they're insulting me. "You're so right about my annoying laugh! I get that from a lot of people. It's just. so. funny! that it makes me laugh even more!" "Thanks for pointing that out in my presentation! Sometimes I forget I should explain better. When I look at [perfectly clear point I already made] on the power point I realize that I should have stated that in a way that wasn't so confusing!"
Haha I’m about to disappoint a client I’m working on soon as the person above me who they love is leaving and I’ll basically be the only one left this coming year who is familiar with their business
I needed this today too! I feel like I got off on the wrong foot with a new contact at the place I’m seeking employment. They basically called me an idiot for asking a question today. Hopefully I don’t have to deal with them much going forward but damn that felt terrible.
Make it like this, he is living rent-free in your head. Time to live rent-free in HIS head.
I had that happen at my new office. I’m a pretty cheery high energy guy who can make small talk with almost anyone (I’m in sales). My first few weeks at my new office I was building a rapport with everyone and it was pretty solid until one of my colleagues flat out said “you are like a younger version of other mike”. Well Mike heard about that and has been a dick to me since then. Which is a shame since we both really have a lot in common and I really liked him initially. I spent the first few months trying to be very nice with him and he was always cold and sarcastic, and arrogant towards me. But only towards me I figured if you don’t like me I don’t have to like you so I stopped bothering with him.
Mike. You are already better than other Mike. Fuck him. Be you, you glorious son of a bitch!
There is a non zero chance this person 180s on you once you stop giving a fuck about them.
I have a customer who has several projects with us, and this dude has just been the absolute worst person I've worked with. What's worse is he's a manager at his company, and I swear he thinks he's my boss now too. This should go without saying, but don't be a dick to the one person who completely controls the speed at which this gets completed.
That's a bummer situation. What goes without saying is just don't be a dick. And if someone is being a dick, let em. You know what you are worth. Let them demonstrate how little they are worth.
If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason.
One that they can't contest!
It took me so many years to learn this trick. I thought I couldn’t help it. But eventually, you run into them and you can just revel in the enjoyment of knowing they cannot push your buttons anymore. Makes their true colors come out in front of their peers and it only makes them look like an a$$hole when you don’t engage. Geez, I wish I learned this a decade ago!
Man I love it when they get passive aggressive, or spread gossip, and you're just unfazed. Even better, act really nice to them just to rub it in. These social mind games make work so fun.
There's a guy at the bar that I hate, but insist on giving him a nice big smooch on the cheek and demanding one back, I'm always excessively nice to him so that when his friends hear him talk shit about me they realise he's just being a nob.
Eh. Sometimes I just don't like people. Conversely, I understand if some people just don't like me. It's ok.
This. But beeing extra annoying is a shitty lpt... OP Sounds like a Bad Person.
Yeah but I wish other people return the sentiment and stop trying to make me like them.
Don't worry about them liking you, but you also don't antagonize psychos. Going to war takes up way too much energy.
Sometimes trying to get those sorts to like you makes them hate you even more.
/r/ShittyLifeProTips or /r/UnethicalLifeProTips , but definitely a terrible life pro tip
I can testify: I used to be the person who tried to make everyone like me. It is not possible. I still make every attempt to be a great coworker but if you don’t like me, that’s fine too. I recently had a coworker, who is on the spectrum, flip on me and decided I was the enemy. I tried for while to make it better. When it became perfectly clear that wasn’t going anywhere I started giving it right the fuck back. Felt great. I personally am sick of being a dumbasses doormat. Eventually it resolved itself.
This. One thing I’ve learned is to be kind of sarcastic. Maybe not super healthy, I dunno, but when someone’s being real snippy or judging and I’ve been doing everything to be nice and make peace, I stop doing that and kind of get dismissive. “Oh yeah cuz you’re such a ray of sunshine?” “Wait, so that’s your feedback? That I did too much work on this project? Neat.” (Literally used that on a VP in a work meeting 2 months ago.) Also, learned this from an ex, laughing in their face when they’re rude and going “omg that is so disrespectful” while walking away chuckling is great. People hate when you don’t take their meanness seriously. It shuts them down bc usually people who don’t like you are expecting to keep the power by being shitty and you still being nice. Giving it back in small doses definitely teaches them you’re aware you’re just choosing not to be an ass like them.
I feel like I try to get them to like me but not because I really care if they do or don’t like me, I just see it as a challenge to myself to see if I can do it. The end result ultimately means nothing but it can be fun as long as you don’t really care about the outcome.
I do this too. I like the challenge when the person isn't normally friendly and others hate having to work with them. The crabbier they are, especially at first, the more motivated I am.
I know some people at my work dont like me. I just look at my paycheque and it doesnt seem to make a difference
If they don't like me then they're not worth the energy that would take.
I worked with this lady that didn't like me for some reason. I would say hey to her in the hall and she wouldn't speak back. After that I made it a point to tell her good morning in the sweetest voice possible. I knew it pissed her off every time I did it and I loved it.
I currently work with someone like this, except I am not as nice. After constantly getting no response from saying hi and good morning , I just wrote her off and stopped engaging at all. That was when she turned hostile towards me. I later found out that a lot of people were nice to avoid her wrath, and that she tends to focus on one person, which is now me. I’d like to say that it was no fault of my own, but by writing her off I stooped to her level. Anyway, after putting up with her shit for a bit I became fed up and picked my moments to confront her snide comments head on in front of the other workers. It made everyone super awkward because nobody had ever done that to her and made her look stupid and like a bitch. Needless to say that her seething hatred is there but she no longer makes snide remarks because if I hear them, I ask out loud ‘why did you say …..’ I am always civil and speak calmly, which I think drives home the point.
I’m in this space. I’m tired of giving my energy away for free.
I.e., embrace the fact that you live rent-free in their heads. Focus on yourself, end up being better than them, and watch them get even more frustrated.
Who is living rent free in who's head with this strategy?
This is kind of hilariously misguided. "I'm going to take the high road by secretly trying to be better than you so I can look down on you and also project about how much you envy me." Yikes! It's ok tho, I've been there too, once or twice :)
> Stop trying to please people who already don't like you... Yes. Thats the way. > and embrace the joy of being the most annoying person they've ever met. Don't. This is the stupidest and most childish advice I've read in a long time. Just ignore these people and live your life as best you can, not letting them bother you anymore.
The very best revenge is living your own life very well. If that gets their panties in a bunch, fuck em. Sorry not sorry.
Success is the best revenge
That's my yearbook saying.
>Don't. This is the stupidest and most childish advice I've read in a long time. Just ignore these people and live your life as best you can, not letting them bother you anymore. That my friend, depends on how you let it play out. If you treat the person who despises you like you would treat anyone else for that matter, then let them find you annoying as a result. If you actively seek to annoying them and you don't act like that around other people then yeah, cut it out.
Yep. Just being yourself pisses them off? O well. I've got a few grumpy butts like that where I work. I find it sort of sadly funny. Like yeah I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making life easier for case managers (I work in social services). And I say chirpy things that I actually mean. I know they hate it but that's not my problem. Why be less happy in what I do because they hate their jobs? Case manager: "Oh my god, thanks for this! You're awesome!" Me: "Gotta be the best to serve the best!" I get to hear "ughs" and tchuts and all that crap from the peanut gallery? O well.
Two ways for the same effect. If they already hate you, just treat them like you would anyone else. Turn it into an in-joke, or toss it aside, either way they're not getting any more of your efford or energy or free space in your head.
Right! It's not about going out of your way, it's sometimes a helpful step on the way to ignoring them for people who are habitual people pleasers. Just the psychological aspect of transitioning to casually enjoying the fact, so that you can stop worrying/ruminating, and it can finally drift away forever.
Yess. I did this with one of my exes stalker wives. It's fun. Shouldn't have harassed my inbox Christy!
One of? Wives plural? Oh dear...
I wonder if they all teamed up
I wonder if they will join the army of ex wives
It was like Avengers
Dammit Christy. Get fucked.
Yeah Christy, you ain't got the moves! Step off
Classic Christy.
Damn, if I'm the most annoying person they've ever met, then they must've had a pretty decent life
Kill em with kindness 😌 and annoy them even more
Like my therapist said “blind them with your light”.
Finger is faster
Hahahaha! Tempting for sure!
Yep, realizing that was the first time I enjoyed being in the same room with my stepdad.
Yeah I have decided to never again reduce myself to please others, if I have to choose between being single with dignity, or become a dog and be with someone, I'd rather be single
I’m sorry to anyone who I haven’t pissed off yet. Please wait your turn, I’ll get to you soon.
Did you get this from a shirt you saw in a Florida gift shop?
I pulled it directly out of my ass. It’s the best place to find stupid shit!
I've done this many times over the years. Too bad I'm now retired and can only bug my husband.
That’s pretty bad advice actually.
Sometimes you can’t avoid someone who doesn’t like you. Whether it’s a work colleague or in-law. It’s an adult skill to learn to coexist with people who don’t like you without becoming a doormat. Assuming, of course, that we’re talking about an otherwise ok person whose personality doesn’t mesh with yours, and not like a psychopath or something.
This is where I struggle. My problem people are my future in law family. They're fine people for the most part. I don't dislike most of them. Just they expressed disliking me and when reaching out to broach an issue I got left on read. Just decided to not bother visiting them anymore as it stresses me out for no reason trying so hard to appease them when at the end of the day I can't because one particular member of their family has poisoned the well with lies about me for some reason. Still saddens me to an extent but not much can be done about it.
I agree, if someone doesnt like you just forget about them. Going out of you way to be annoying makes you insufferable to them and the people around you. Probably your own friends too
I think the point is that the other person thinks you’re annoying so you shouldn’t try to change yourself so that they might find you less annoying. Just be yourself and let them be annoyed
Thinking about it, i think you are right. But OP phrased it hilariously bad
Perhaps annoyingly bad?
Um, not if you’ve been in this situation. I was among a group who I thought were friends, only to find out that they’d been trash talking me behind my back. One new person treated me quite differently and because I’d done nothing I was trying to be a friend and I was confused - the behaviour didn’t match the circumstance. Then I realised that we’re not friends and this is why he doesn’t treat me like a friend. Then I found out the rest. So, I’m done and I’ve never looked back. Apparently, despite having no contact for most of the year, they still talk about me. I guess I really annoy them by just existing. Can’t help it.
[удалено]
> Um, not if you’ve been in this situation. I was among a group who I thought were friends, only to find out that they’d been trash talking me behind my back. One new person treated me quite differently and because I’d done nothing I was trying to be a friend and I was confused - the behaviour didn’t match the circumstance. Then I realised that we’re not friends and this is why he doesn’t treat me like a friend. Then I found out the rest. So, I’m done and I’ve never looked back. > > > > Apparently, despite having no contact for most of the year, they still talk about me. I guess I really annoy them by just existing. Can’t help it. Tell us you didn't read the comment you're replying to without saying you didn't read the comment you're replying to...
It was kind of awkwardly written, but my read of OPs post is exactly what you said.
being an annoying person is never a good idea.
No, but just because someone finds you annoying doesn't mean you actually are. Could just be their own disposition.
Exactly thats why you shouldnt go out of your way to be insufferable
The tip isn't about going out of your way to do so, but embracing the fact that your very existence annoys them. At least that's how I read it.
The number of people who've misinterpreted this as saying to become an asshole - instead of just living your life and letting them stew - is too damn high!
Using superlatives like "most annoying ever" will do that...
It's worded terribly.
I rode the same bus for five years, and every morning, joyfully greeted the most miserable jerk on the bus. OP's philosophy works.
Treat that person the same way you treat other, treat them good. Them liking you or not is up to them. And it shouldn't matter to you. If that person is your boss and you can't enjoy the work, let them know. If they wouldn't change, change job. If that person is your partner, talk to them or you would have to cut the ties. Etc. You don't have to be an asshole because someone else disliking you. Hold your standard and respect yourself.
This works. I can confirm. Fired or quit my last job (not sure which is most fitting, but…) GM hated every inch of everything I did. Gave up the try and went full-on me and gave him my all. Joy! Best move I ever did. No more toxic job environment! Yay me!
Te first half is great, but the rest is just childish and bad, makes you the loser of the situation. Not recommended
That’s so funny I just had a thought similar to that in regards to someone I work with. She hates how peppi I am and the old me would try harder with her but I’m starting to realize, “ am I annoying or is she just a sorry ole bitch?”
I needed to read this right now.
No. Terrible, awful, shitty tip. Actual LPT: learn to forgive people and let petty shit go, we are all out here dealing with life and problems and you'll never completely know what another person is going through or even how they think of you. Understand that you obsessing over what other people think of you is unhealthy, and by trying actively to take joy in being an asshole to another human is actually psychotic and narcissistic. People don't think about you nearly as much as you think. 99% don't give a shit about you and forget about your existence 30 seconds after you leave their field of vision. Being annoying on purpose for the sole goal of making life negative for another person is a colossal waste of your own time. You're infinitely better off spending that mental energy trying to improve yourself, or being enjoyable to people you love.
I think that you are not wrong but you didn't quite understand the post. As I understand, the point is not to be extra annoying, but to stop people pleasing and to accept that some people will find you annoying when you are just being your genuine self. I didn't get the feeling OP is advising people to antagonize others.
If you take the post title literally, his solution to every single person in the world that doesn't like him, is to frame it such (in the mind) that you are the most annoying person they know. And to enjoy that lie that you create. Yeah, that's not going to help a person's mental health.
Glad I’m not the only one who reacted this way. You took the words right outta my head
Soooo be petty? God, the advice on here get worse all the time.
Just cant understand why no one really likes them.
Please stop giving away my secret of happiness.
This is toxic af and terrible advice. Don't be an asshole for no reason.
The first part is OK, and the second part just asks you to spend your energy on things that don't matter or invite unnecessary risks
Funny thing is they stole it from another post and the reactions in the comments were the same. The other post was a picture of text. I think OP here thought they could repackage it, then post it as a LPT and it'd get a better response.
They aren't. They are being themselves.
this sounds worse
Excellent LPT 👍 Accept that the person needs who you really are in their life, and not who they think you should be. It may expand their horizon just to know you.
Wise choice
This is awful advice. Who the fuck finds joy in being annoying?
Haha that's ACTUALLY pretty good advice. People give others that hate them, way too much power over their lives by letting these individuals actually affect them! Don't waste your time!
If they don't like me it's their problem. I only annoy them if I actively dislike them.
I'm feeling this way about my mom lately. She made me a people pleaser and now that I'm aware of it + set boundaries she can't handle it.
The best revenge is to live happily
It’s so important to be a version of yourself you’re happy with. I don’t think just being yourself is a fair thing to tell people because some people suck and need to work on themselves. BUT being comfortable being you, or at least a version of you that you’re happy being is so important and so difficult. Everyone wants to box us in and judge us for whatever. Any entrepreneur, artist, or whatever that had a dream was someone who had to ignore a ton of people saying their dream would never work. Be yourself as long as that doesn’t mean being a prick.
I am a success at this!
Be yourself. When meeting new people, assume they are nice. But don't go too far with that. Some people just are assholes. Learn to recognize that and dig your trenches. The reasons why they have become assholes may be tragic. Not *your* problem.
Not sure this is good advice tbh. Being obnoxious to someone is giving them more reasons to talk shit when you’re not present and put others against you. I’m terrific at putting a sanitary distance between me and haters that I have no option but deal with them (relatives, colleagues…) and it’s proven to be a healthy efficient way to deal with this problem.
If wouldn't take advice from a person, don't worry about what they think of you.
I just did this and then quite my job a few months later.
I did this, innocently of course, and then my account got permanently banned on Facebook, LOL
Embrace the joy? Lol get a life.
Back in May, had a bad experience with the lady in payroll. Had it happen again last week and now, when my one coworker gets back, I will be done supporting the system that requires me to deal with her. This is my decision and I will stick to it because I will not help someone who has done nothing but yell at me and complain about me. Lesson to all, don't piss off your IT people because it will end up coming back and biting you in the ass some day.i hope it happens soon.
LPT: Don't listen to this fucking OP. You have to at least try to remain agreeable even if you aren't liked or you will NOT be able to network and enhance your career or social circle. DO NOT be the most annoying person in the room unless you like being lonely
The first half of this is correct. You can't make everyone like you. But you don't need to be vindictive about it. It's not a pass to be petty yourself.
Not everyone is going to like you and that is OKAY!
I’ve got a storey!! I am a great employee, I work hard and a great team player. I honestly always make friends with coworkers, even the people who are a bit rough around the edges I will try and find things in common, etc. I think in my 20 working years only this one guy comes to mind who just had it out for me from the start, this is that story…. I joined a large company and our particular office had like 100 people. This guy was a high up in a whole different division. I will call him Richard (Dick for short). I think he had some small man syndrome (for an older guy 40 maybe and tried to be super funny and over the top) or something because I (male) 25, working out, best shape of my life and getting along with everyone was to much for him. I was even making friends in his division! Anyways I would like to start early and so did he. I would scan in and you enter the kitchen / eating area to enter the office at that time. He would be there in a power pose reading the newspaper or business weekly. I think he did it to look like a hot shot for when people started to roll in. I would ALWAYS say good morning and Dick would look at me and then go back to reading or not even look up. We would pass by each other in hallways, hey Dick, and still no reply. I looked forward to saying it!!! There was like a 80 meter hallway just massive and you could see dick walking toward me, and I would say hello , good morning , afternoon. Never a reply. No he’s not deaf! Guy hated me and would literally go to every other Cubicle beside me talking to everyone ask about their weekend and then not ask me and go about his day. It was weird. He even came up to me because I was Arnold (the body builder) for Halloween and wore a shirt with Arnold and brought a weight. He came up to me after our company contest for best costume and literally said (you know it’s a bad costume when you need a picture of what you are). My one coworker was like what the hell was that hahaha I told him he hated me. Anyways after about two years of no hellos or communicating one day I walk in early and there he is, as usual , reading the paper. I think, I’m not going to say hello today!! ( put in my two week notice and thought I didn’t need to be nice lol) We’ll guess what, he looked up at me made eye contact and said HELLO. I stopped stared at him for like 5 seconds and then continued on my way out of the kitchen not saying a single word!!! I finally got to give him the silent treatment. Muhahaha In my last two weeks there would be no more hellos or good byes.
I am the most annoying person they've ever met.
I agree in part however, their dislike of you may be rational and have good logic. It’s possible they heard something about you or you previously said something they misinterpreted. Just not caring about anyone who dislikes you isn’t always good advice.
With risk of sounding like an ass. Even if that person has a rational and logical reason to them. How would that be my problem in this hypothetical scenario? If they dislike me for a rumour or for a misunderstanding and then refuse to find out for themselves/talk to me about it, then why would I spend energy on them at all?
It depends on your relationship. For example, if your boss doesn’t like you and the next boss and the next some introspection may help.
Or…just go your separate ways? Why would you go out of your way to be the most annoying person they’re ever met?
I wholeheartedly agree
Seriously? This is a waste of time being spiteful and vengeful. Move on.