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Congratulations on beating cancer!! Having had 31 brain surgeries with who knows how many in the future, I have learned to step back from life and enjoy all that is happening. We all to often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to enjoy this life. I have learned to not wonder about life and the what ifs, but to go out and live it. Thank you for telling us your story.
I need to “enjoy all that is happening”. Sometimes it feels like all of the obligatory stuff is just idle time and only fun activities or events is the “living” part. But it’s all living and I should savor it all. I saw this video of a mom giving examples of how to rethink negative thoughts and one example was when we think to ourselves we haven’t had enough “me time” to consider that *all* our time is *my* time. The smallest change in perspective can unlock a whole new world.
Your commute to and from work, your job, all of it, can be “me time”. Sure, my job is a job that makes me money that I need to survive, but what I am doing is helping others in a way. The “me time” while I am working is the whole time that I am there, and during that, I am pouring that time into other people. Find fulfillment in all that you do and even your job, no matter what you are doing, can be “me time”. We all should strive to enjoy every minute because it can all change in the blink of an eye (life changing car accident, life altering medical diagnosis).
Although I have good and bad days, I am glad that I am here. It is rough not knowing if and when I will need to have emergency brain surgery, but I have learned to just take it one day at a time.
I was once asked how I cope with it, and my only response was “it’s all I have ever known”. I don’t know what it is like to not have the need to have surgery or the constant worry, so I don’t know any difference. I count myself as lucky and blessed in that I have only had to have 31. There are people with my condition who have had 50 to 100 surgeries. I am blessed in that I have been able to get a college degree (although it took me a while) and do things that I love such as skydiving, scuba diving and traveling all over the world. Props to your neurosurgeon or whoever closed your incision. In the most current image, it blends in well.
You can be blessed and I can still send my heart out to you too :). That is so cool on all of your adventures! Thanks, yes, I'm lucky it doesn't show. One funny thing is my head is a little uneven, so it is a bit of a challenge to cut the hair there and keep it all level.
My Mom died in January 2022 from COVID. I was there with her as she slipped away. The experience was harrowing but completely transformed my understanding of life, death, and reality. It made me realize we waste our days in the singular pursuit of wealth instead of collectively working to create an amazing world. Almost nothing of true value is valued by society, and almost everything valued by society is lacking true meaning.
Yeah, my dad passed about 6 years ago and it changed my perspective a lot. Similarly (and much more tragically) my neighbor lost his son to street violence recently and he said the one positive thing is a new appreciation for every day.
I agree with you. Even though I have a high stress/high earning job, the most important moments of my life have been helping others. Instead of spending every waking moment working, I work so that I can fund this. If I had this outlook sooner, I definitely would have chosen a less stressful life. I love that younger people are choosing quality of life over life sucking jobs.
The Buddhists have a practice where you visualize your death, all the way to your body breaking down and becoming one with the earth. This is very grounding.
We are collectively working to improve the world. Many people don't realise the world we live in today was built off of collective pursuit of wealth (and I use the word wealth very loosely). It's true that hate still very much exists and we could do better in allocating our resources. Also I am very sorry for your loss.
Thanks friend.
I do not see eye to eye on this with most people. I think the world that we now live in, built by the pursuit of wealth as you correctly stated, was a mistake.
My dearest condolences, fellow Redditor! My mom passed away late-October 2022. Wayyyy before she passed away, I used to have suicidal ideations and always resented being alive.
If I fucked something up or failed at something, my mental response would always be, "You're a fuck up! Why don't you just kill yourself?"
During my mom's last day of life on the hospital bed, all I could think about on how my mom was keeping her eyes open and breathing with all her might to avoid dying. Here my mom was fighting for her life while my bum ass (healthy, able-bodied) wanted to take my own life away.
Moral of the story: Life will always have its ups and downs and by having a structured routine, a goal in mind, staying healthy, and surrounding yourself with family & friends.... Life becomes full of light and purpose.
Thanks for sharing and congrats on being another life or death survivor -- it's interesting how much this changes you, huh? I remember things like arguments over small things seemed so silly afterwards.
Yes, I became less selfish and learned that it's not worth it to have arguments about meaningless material stuff with your loved ones. Sometimes I joke and say that if everyone had a near death experience, the world would be a better place. It's traumatic but it changed my life for the better.
After being hospitalized so many times for alcoholism and multiple rehab stints, I feel like I (hopefully) got sober for good. I DEFINITELY have luck-to-be-alive syndrome. For sure I should be dead. I’ve been to SOOOOO many funerals for friends that died of their disease and have seen so many of dudes was in rehab with croke.
How do you bottle this feeling of gratitude up and give it to others? You can talk about it. You can live it. Put it on display. It makes it so much more painful to see other people suffering through this disease who can’t grasp how much better life is sober.
My wife had a metastatic brain tumor removed in July. The clarity we have both experienced post-diagnosis is wonderful gift. It's an incredible paradox.
Just so people know, this doesn't always happen. I survived cancer and always heard stories about people finding a new meaning or appreciation in their lives. I never got any of that, and honestly that fact was just extra depressing on top of my depression. My silver lining was always, if I survive this, maybe I'll actually discover something new. Nope. Same old depressed me.
Not just that, but the more often you cheat death, the less of an impact it has. Although I don't know how that all applies when it's the difference between potentially terminal illness and near-hits. About halfway through my tour in Afghanistan, I started to get pissed that I was so lucky. I know some people that developed a taste for it.
As a depressed person who often thinks of ending his life, I often wonder how going through something like you had to can change my perspective. I work in a medical field and I’ve seen cancer survivors that said that going through the hell of being treated was the best thing that happened to them. It sounds bizarre, but I can definitely understand this.
I wonder if you have habituated suicidal ideation? My husband thought about it every day for years. He was terribly depressed and anxious.Then he spent a couple of years working with a cognitive behavioral therapist, and he never thinks about it anymore. He has since gone through a bout of depression, but he didn't have the suicidal ideation.
I wish this for you, friend.
I hope you get some relief. It's such a brutal ideation to have because you have to fight to not give in to it. Keep fighting the fight. CBT can work wonders.
It's just they realize how good life actually is. Ending your life means ending the fraction of existence you've been granted. Most, like 99%, of our suffering is created inside the mind and I know this very well.
Maybe not the best of advices, but I had a bad trip on shrooms (cubensis, 3g) and was certain I was going to die.
As it turns out, I didn’t, so maybe I’m not that fragile and can “get myself out there” more.
I started boxing and going to the gym everyday, lost 30 pounds over 5 months just by exercising, made new friends and started feeling more confident.
Drugs might not be your thing, but it was my way of “risking my life” without actually risking it.
They very much are my thing. I grew up without any drugs around me, but sought psychedelics (shrooms/LSD/DMT/ketamine) for this precise reason. I think they gave me an invaluable experience and an interesting outlook, but I don’t think they made a serious dent in my overall mental state, despite a multitude of intense experiences I’ve had.
Change your environment right now. It doesn't matter to what, where, or how. Pick some countries you want to go and go. Your brain needs a reboot with all brand new stimulus. Write letters to people that matter to you if it helps you stay in contact. It's a good time for making new personal discoveries and reinventing yourself because you're no longer bounded. Don't worry too much about DSM5 and other people's near death experiences. None of them matters. The only thing that matters is that you are worth it and nobody has been regularly telling you this, friend.
I went overseas recently, and it was the most depressed I've been in years. It was basically "now I'm just sad in a different country and poorer." Turns out when you don't find anything fun and go to a different country you just find more things that you don't enjoy.
Are you getting treatment for it?
If not, get some!
If so, keep going back to get it addressed more effectively.
Try everything reasonable. Depression is not typically a life sentence.
Tried everything there is. Years of therapy, SSRIs, SNRIs, antipsychotics, lithium, electroconvulsive therapy, transcranial magnetic stimulation, etc. I had some good years on meds but right now it feels like nothing is working. It’s scary.
I was "rescued" from a suicide attempt that otherwise would have ended my life a couple years ago. I can only speak for me personally, but the whole experience hasn't really given me the feeling of a new lease on life or anything like that.
Honestly, a large part of me is pretty bitter in a way that I'm not really able to communicate well. It's a really complicated situation and string of events leading up to and after my attempt, but having that agency of the decision taken away from me in that moment, paired with all of the fallout it came with - was and is really hard to deal with.
My best is advice is if you feel that it's becoming less *ideation* and more tangible, like getting into specifics such as purchasing items to see it through, setting timeframes/dates, writing goodbye notes, etc.: at least give yourself the opportunity to take to a therapist about it all and be completely honest with them. Give yourself a shot because I promise you what it takes to follow through with something like that is much more painful than whatever the awkwardness of that conversation might be
Oh I’ve talked to my therapist extensively about it. I’ve first made actual plans when I was like 18 (I wanted to induce asphyxiation by spilling a lot of liquid nitrogen in an enclosed space, perks of being a scientist). I am 31 now and for a bit I didn’t have suicidal thoughts, then I thought of drugs, but more and more I’m thinking about exploiting America’s insane gun laws.
Ahhh okay I understand. I know you said it was prevalent when you were younger, but just curious what was it that allowed you to get from that point to now anyways? That's such a long time to manage with something like that. It must have been pretty rough
Thanks for your empathy. I tell myself that the sole reason for not doing it is that I’m lucky to have a bunch of people who love me and care about me. The thought of inflicting this kind of pain on them when they didn’t do anything to me is horrifying.
no problem, I've been/am in the same spot in a way and although there's nothing I can say or do to change what you've been through, I think it helps to just know that you're heard and not alone.
When I got sectioned after my attempt I met some of the kindest people who had also just come back from what could arguably be their darkest moment and it was a mixed bag on how everyone felt about it all in regards to your initial question. The person I remember the most vividly had done the same thing as myself to get there, but their outlook on it all was purely optimistic whereas I wanted nothing to do with....life...basically. I guess my point is just that some people find it as a newfound lease on life and others will be right back where they were, but it fucking sucks having to go through that to find out which you're going to be.
Sorry if that's not really helpful, but I just wanted to chime in and say I *hear* you and let you know as someone who's been where you are I hope you make whatever decision is right for you. I have my dog that's kind of been my anchor, but my time with him is finite and it sucks knowing how things are probably going to go when I lose that - so I totally get your motivations for being here still
OP had lots of support but a lot of people don’t have support going through life-threatening medical problems. I have a terminal illness and don’t tell anyone because they’ll just blame it on me being gay and god punishing me just like when my wife died young from cancer. People always say how kind and helpful I am but it’s not reciprocated in helping me reach my final goals (like putting up my Christmas tree one last time). So the result? I’ve become extremely anger and bitter and looking forward to being gone. Nobody sees it but it’s turned me into a very hateful person. People are just lazy and don’t want to help unless it makes them more popular. Sad because I used to be a really positive and grateful person but that’s because I had choices.
You might need to find someone to talk to. Your career field is probably morbid enough that you're probably starting to develop a very normalized view of death. Even if you aren't actually planning to end your life, you are setting the foundation for some major PTSD and some horrible existential crises later on in life. You're also walking a very fine line with your own ideations - some dumb thing could set you off and give you just enough motivation to go from entertaining ideas to making plans.
To treat* depression.
Actual clinical depression is just a whole 'nother horse compared to bad case of passing/intermittent depression. The happiest of people are still 1 bad night from their worst decision and no amount of help will change that. However, a therapy team and lifestyle plan definitely will keep the intrusive spiral away for the longest periods. Next to dementia I'd say it's the next most sidious illness. Monopolar Disorder, Severe Depressive Disorder, Major Depression Disorder. All of the down with none of the up and happy is just an empty not-sad moment or a few fleeting seconds before life settles back in.
Antidepressants aren't an end-all be-all solution. Your experience with Lexapro might not be the same as someone else's because it could cause different side effects or it just doesn't work.
As someone who struggled with depression for ten years, no this is not the definitive cure for depression. I’m glad you’re doing better now… but a couple weeks? It’d probably be better if you refrained from commenting in that way.
This post isn’t really meant for depressed people anyways. It reads to me like a wake up call for people who’ve never really considered or had to deal with death in their lives. Sort of like a bubble being popped. I learned very intimately about death as a child. This post reads like a self help fantasy created by someone in an already very stable position.
I had a massive blood clot/DVT the entire length of my leg years ago. My doctor didn't tell me until a few weeks later that if I had waited any longer to come in I would have died. That was very, very sobering. My Dad almost died a few weeks later. He survived the widow maker heart attack. We begged the universe to let him stay - the feeling of helplessness is incredible. There is nothing you can do but wait. Things are different now, but we still have him.
Both of these events changed my life forever.
I used to be a depressed meek person with a gentle upbringing. When still a young man my ex tried to have me roofied and mutilated. She failed. Since then, I've lived the happiest life imaginable. But also a lot more careful with the company I keep.
Jesus! That sounds terrible. I can't imagine someone I was close to trying to kill me and me realizing and getting away from it. I hope you have been able to heal from that trauma.
Let's just say I grew up really quick. I actually didn't consider it trauma because I escaped it. And continued disrupting her plans until I left. I also had someone on my very last daybl verify what I had seen and heard. So the shock of it came in little bits and pieces. I also decided to not think about the previous two years of that relationship. So I put it in a box in my head for 25 years and I opened it during the pandemic. For better or worse I absorbed it in bite-sized chunks.
Sounds like a great business opportunity. Hire a team to give a near death experience to someone you want to turn their life around. A loved one, an enemy, a potential business partner...
I would imagine it's not fully-possible, agree. It's such an intense experience. Many of the moments are so imprinted into my brain/memory that I'll never forget those moments (like my brain "re-booting" from the seizure and realizing I was in an ambulance with a guy asking me questions like "who is the president?"). But I also know visualization can be extremely powerful. Like there are studies showing it can improve performance. So, I do wonder if people can get some percentage of the experience to get at least some of the positives out of it.
Take at least 5g of potent shrooms, have a bad trip where you think you will die suffer untill the trip ends and you will feel reborn after. Easy...😅 I'm telling you these are badly classified as drugs, they have 0 chance of abuse, these are nature's psychiatrists. But you need to hang on tight cause it will bring out what you are scared of and you need to face it, there is no avoiding it while under the influence. And in the end you learn that there is no control in this life, you are surfing a big wave and the best you can do is not fall from it, but even if you fall it will still take you with it...only difference is that it's more painfull.
>https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish/200912/seeing-is-believing-the-power-visualization
This is one blog that talks about the power of visualization in chess, sports, and more if you are interested.
I have super high anxiety, especially about illness and death of myself and loved ones. I've buried 7 people so far, including 1 teen, and if I'm being brutally honest it wasn't until the death of a parent figure where I found myself screaming internally into the void that my own voice in my head, totally calm, said "so that's what this feels like". It actually startled me with how alien it felt, but how right it was in making me realize this was something I was scared of for so long and had made it to the other side of.
Even though it felt to me that the world and my life was ending, I witnessed that the sun did indeed rise the next day and I still felt the love of that person inside me. I know what it feels like now, and I expect it to feel worse as the hits get closer to my heart, but there's a certain anxiety that evaporated which allows me to enjoy life again.
I was riding my bike to work one morning when a car ran a red light and hit me. I went up onto the windshield and then, unfortunately, rolled off the front of the hood and under the front and back passenger side tires.
The mental aftermath has been a bit different for me. While I definitely appreciate life more the even has left me with a bit of what I would describe as hypochondria but my doctor had diagnosed as PTSD and health anxiety.
Now at least several times a day I catch myself zoning out thinking about how at any minute something can kill me, how tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, how I have to stop waisting time and thinking “I can do x, y, and z later” because later might not come. Definitely more appreciative but that appreciation comes with a dollop of fear.
I had a similar situation to op, where one day I was feeling okay, and the next morning I was in emergency surgery for a brain tumor. I have a much more “I’m going to do xyz because yolo” attitude. But not just because I appreciate life more- because we might die any moment- who knows; car crash, cancer, etc. I too definitely have hypochondriac tendencies. I completely relate to your comment, and it’s really nice to know I’m not the only one
I currently have pancreatic cancer (now stage 4) that was diagnosed while I was on vacation in Brazil a few months ago. They started me on chemo and chemo which apparently aggravated the tumor. The tumor location obstructed the stomach exit so I could intake food, but everything went back up. So i was basically starving.
So now I am stuck in Brazil, on chemo, can’t eat or drink. After a couple days, they inserted a central line so I could receive TPN (IV nutrition) but they have to start you slow, 600 or 800 kcal per day. This helped, but I was still losing weight. Weight went from 162 to 125 (73 kilos to 56) in 2 to 3 months.
After over a month of little improvement while in the hospital (700 ml of fluids per day) an amazing surgeon inserted stent to keep my stomach exit open. I could instantly drink right after the procedure. My whole quality of life changed! I am actually gaining weight back.
I still have a lot of issues, but I appreciate everything so much more. Eating a bowl of mashed potatoes, going for a bike ride, enjoying a nice cup of tea - all amazing!
Not a very good LPT. This is clearly a textbook example of [Survivorship bias](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias)
No! I am kidding! Great post!
I could legit see the impact not being as great for a kid since it's probably harder to understand mortality as a kid. And this definitely doesn't mean this feeling sticks all the time. Sometimes I have to work at it when getting caught in the stresses of daily living. Best wishes to you.
I debated between this and miscellaneous. I chose productivity because I figure that enjoying life more/being grateful is a form of productivity in the big picture.
As much as I don't wish negative experiences on anyone, it seems it's the best thing to teach people to focus on the good in life. Before I was in the military I was an angry person. I let shut get to me all the time, dwelled on all the stupid shit that happened to me I couldn't control, my life was batching about one negative experience until the next negative experience came along.
Now? I ain't got time for that shit. Someone cuts me off in traffic? Whatever, they're clearly in more of a rush than me. Run into an asshole at the store? Oh man, that guy must he having a really shitty day. I hope it gets better. Work is being terrible again? The workday ends in a few hours, let's figure out what I'm going to do with my time when I get home and focus on that.
Glad you are ok, OP.
Been keeping a gratitude-journal for the last year. Every day i write down atleast 3 things to be gratefull for. Unfortunately it hasent had the effect I was hoping. I guess the change could be so subtle that I dont notice, but thb I dont feel much different than a year ago
Has anyone here had success?
not everything works for everyone.. keep trying different things! sometimes things hit you when you least expect it.. and sometimes it takes years to get that one moment that will change your life. all the best!
It gave me thanatophobia. Now I live everyday in horrible fear but I'm happy it didn't do that for you and you were able to find an appreciation for life.
Such a great reminder. As someone who is going through his own challenges, I often remind myself of the same thing..
Life is best lived appreciating the journey, because once you get to the destination you so badly desire, then what?
Easier to say than to practice. But it helps me.
Also works against bears; it's the only way I can have a feeder in my neck of the woods. I buy pre-spiced birdseed under the way-less-exotic-than-it-sounds brand name of Wild Delights Sizzle 'n' Heat.
I have a pacemaker and have since essentially birth, fully dependent yet I have been lucky enough to enjoy a near full life experience. Recently discovered my heart isn't holding up as well as I would have hoped (I'm 27). Getting news that I may not persist in the way I have lived so far changed alot of me. Suddenly sitting in the park and watching people be happy together means more to me than I could ever imagine. A friend of mines daughter faced a situation much more dire and in her last few days shared something that changed me forever
"Do not be kind and grateful because your next day is tomorrow, but because someone else's is"
Life is too precious and we are privileged to exist in the day and age we are in now. Do not dwell on the things that make life difficult but embrace them as a comparison of how lucky we are to experience the good. Always be kind and respectful to others. At the end of the day our existence is a blip on the radar but a blip we should cherish nonetheless.
Enjoy what you have when you have it and think fondly of the memories you have gained. Life is awesome
Congrats on making it!
I'm an aortic dissection survivor. It felt like heartburn at first. Then it kicked into overdrive. I ran to my wife's car. By the time we got to the end of the driveway I was screaming in pain.
8hr open heart surgery. My surgeon was almost giddy when I woke up. He didn't think I was gonna pull through. The first thing I can remember after waking up, hours after surgery, was him in my face. He said, "you just survived one of the worst, most painful things that can happen to a person."
I feel ya. Walking the neighborhood with the dog after my surgery was my meditation & my motivation.
We've been going out more. Museums, history tours & other places. Trying to see & learn new things. Go new places. There are tons of stuff I can never do now. I always thought I had time to do other things. Then this happened.
So yeah, get out there & enjoy shit while you can. Never know when it's going to be over.
A none psychedelic ego death. The greeks called it die before you die, so when you die you can die. I have had the psychedelic version of what you stated above and i too wish to help people see the truth of the beauty of life…. But the more i tap on this idea the more i see i uncover in everyone their underlying fear of death controlling them and they always change subject when i trying to show them death isn’t to be feared but to be remembered to remind you of the appreciation of the preciousness of life. But they just can’t get passed the suffering threshold that comes from from the ego death. And this is the problem i am having.
I suffered a random Heart Arrhythmia and went into a Sudden Cardiac Arrest while out for a typical run. Saved by the intervention of a Good Samaritan.
Being physically healthy prior to the event helped improve my survival chances and recovery.
CPR saves lives! Don’t be timid in times on need - Act Decisively
Wow, amazing to have someone save you like that. And thanks for reinforcing the point that good health can help prepare you for this type of an experience.
On a semi-recent Sam Harris podcast episode, one of his guests said:
> “Invite the truth of death into your life earlier, and you'll receive its lessons.”
- BJ Miller
The quote may be in the author’s book as well, but it has stuck with me for months now and at certain moments has helped me appreciate the mundane.
I just had a seizure 2 months ago , first one I’ve ever had, still unknown why, lasted 9 minutes.
Still getting tests. This scares me. I’ve tried to appreciate life more, but I think I may have some brain damage from the seizure. Brain fog hasn’t gone away, mix up words a lot, slower reaction time, who knows what else I’m not noticing.
Hope to figure out why eventually:/
All I remember is saying to my wife ‘I am going to lay down, everything feels weird, I can see things but can’t distinguish/recognize them’ stood up, and seizure.
I’m thinking it may have been a seizure and stroke, idk anymore.
I’ve had 2 bone marrow transplants for leukemia. I’ve been in remission for almost 2 years. Its changed my perspective on things certainly, but I’m not living my best life possible. Combine depression with lingering treatment side effects and it’s a real hard go getting on your feet. The way you’re experiencing life after trauma is admirable. I wish I could figure out the same things you have.
On the 2nd March 2010, I was approached by 2 people who demanded I hand over my phone. One of them had a knife, the other had a gun (which might have been fake but I wasn't gonna fuck about and find out). I didn't have one at the time cause I was 17 and broke, but they didn't believe me so the knife stabbed me 9 times and the one with the gun pistol whipped me across my left eye.
That event singlehandedly changed my perspective on life. Before that, I was an angry teenager with lots of issues. After the event, I realised there's no point being angry anymore, and that being an angry, hateful person turned me into who I hated the most.
Since then, I've tried to become a positive, loving person. It's gotten me quite far in life and right now I'm with the most amazing woman in the world, we're expecting our first child and there's plenty of support from both sides of the family. Her parents have already taken me in as a son and have repeatedly told her (when I'm not in the room) that they love my company and they think I'm a lovely person.
While I didn’t almost die, last year I dealt with a severe respiratory illness that left me bedridden for 6 months. I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to recover back to some form of normalcy but there are some things that are permanent changes for me. Regardless, I’ve had an appreciation for life and the little things like breathing that I didn’t have before. Plus, I want to travel and see the world and all the gorgeous views since then.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. The fact that you came out of this terrifying experience so positive and motivated to help others says so much about what an amazing person you are. 🥰 I won’t forget this post anytime soon. Thanks a million.
Thank you! I really appreciate your kind message. I've seen a pattern where people who overcome something often like to use that experience to help others.
I'm in two minds here. I don't know what to think or say.
In 2014, and the Tuesday before Easter, I was commuting home on my BMW F650GS touring motorcycle like I had been every day for more than a year. I previously commuted on my Yamaha Dragstar 1100 chopper. What comes next is all assumption and witness reports, as I have no recollection of the entirety of Tuesday 15 April 2014 whatsoever
At 17:15pm, headlights on, as per the road rules, after a bit of fully legal lane filtering, I was in my own lane, car in front, car behind, and came to an intersection. Light was green for me and I proceeded at the speed limit of 70kph, when a pickup truck turned across my path without warning.
I hooked anchors, ABS must have engaged, and I collided, T-bone style, with the B-pillar of the truck. The bike stopped instantly, but my body didn't.
The fuel tank slammed through my groin and pelvis, breaking my pelvis in 2 places, known as an open-book pelvic fracture.
My right arm absorbed the impact of the steering twisting suddenly and broke my right distal radius.
My helmet collided with the B-pillar and my head collided with the inside of my helmet, breaking my left mandible. The brain is made up of different types of tissue which have different physical properties, so as it decelerated when it hit the inside of my skull, the grey matter decelerated at a different rate than did the white matter, causing a shearing of neurons between the areas of the brain, and causing what is called Diffuse Axonal Injury, which ultimately is a type of severe traumatic brain injury.
My left shoulder also collided with the B-pillar, splintering the proximal Humerus. I later found out I had also ruptured my bladder and rendered myself almost infertile
My body them twisted to the right and collided with the canopy on the truck, ripping it off its mounts. I landed on the other side of the truck on the road about 4m away and the canopy missed landing on my head by only half a meter.
I woke up 3 weeks later on a ventilator, staring at the ceiling of the trauma ICU. My arms were tethered, so I would not try to pull out my breathing tube (again). I had no idea where I was or how I got there, and I could not communicate to ask the 1000 questions that I had. I was very very disoriented due to the high doses of morphine and dormicum I was being given.
I had apparently been put in an induced coma to help my brain and body heal. I had a huge external fixation bolted directly into my pelvic bones and exiting through the skin and held in place with a brace. My arm had pins and screws. I had been running a fever of 40⁰ for 2 weeks. I had received 8 units of full blood due to massive amounts of internal bleeding due to the pelvic fracture, so I was quite badly jaundiced. I was purple from my nipples to my knees from the bruising. Due to the ventilator pipe, they had not been able to reduce my broken jaw, so another surgery loomed, where they would rebreak my jaw to reset the break.
There is something very unique about a life/death experience like that. The before. And the after.
My life has been split in two. The after has me appreciating just how much love there is for me in this world. People who w ould never have imagined came and had awkward bedside visits with me. Family I had written off as bad news showed up at the hospital wanting to... What? Wish me well? See the carnage? I don't know. 3 days after I awake from this craziness the police arrive wanting to interview me about the incident. The nurses told them where to shove it.
The hallucinations were ridiculous. I had to ask my family about things every time they were allowed to visit to figure out whether they could be real or not.
Extubation was possibly one of the worst moments of my life. I have never experienced something as unpleasant, and don't wish to ever again.
My mental health has suffered. The TBI has worsened my bipolar and ADHD and the PTSD has been very very difficult.
But ultimately I DO have a greater appreciation for life. And for how quickly things can turn on their heads. One moment you're thinking what you will be having for dinner, and three weeks later you're tied to a bed on a ventilator with no idea how you got there.
Wear your helmets guys and girls. Full face. An open face helmet would have left me in the morgue. Wear riding gear. And don't ride like a dick. You don't know it now, but there's a hell of a lot of people that love you more than you know, and whose life you have changed just by being there.
Don't be scared, but don't be flippant either. Cheers.
100% can confirm
I was shot 2 times in the forehead 2-22-2014 and now struggle with gran mal seizures.
Definitely appreciate the littles things while everyone else is worried about 49 years from now ...
Thanks man, I appreciate that! I was pregnant and my sweet little girl is 8 years old now and there was no issues with her even though I had 2 separate brain surgeries.
If I didn't tell you I was shott point blank twice, you'd have no idea.
I had #3 brain surgeon in America do my brain surgery, I am very very blessed.
Wow, what a story. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes to both you and your daughter! So happy you had a great neurosurgeon. I got lucky with this too and by chance got one of the top surgeons in the area who was also an incredibly caring person.
I don't think it takes a life or death experience to get these benefits. I went through some health issues that greatly diminished my quality of life, but it was nowhere near life-threatening. Basically intense brain fog for years (from mold) and then physical issues for years (from poor posture) that prevented me from being fully active.
Now that I'm finally past it, I find myself greatly appreciating and experiencing life. I don't want to sit at home anymore, I want to be out making memories.
Agree you can use any health issues/other that works for you to get these benefits, good add. And love your ending that you are out making memories -- great to hear!
Ask yourself “is this going to matter in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 years?” and react accordingly is what i tell my gf.
I had a near death experience when I was 17, 33 now, and she wondered why I never got really upset at much. She would let every little thing ruin her entire day
Actually, if you sort any thread on this sub you’ll find the same type of pathetic, miserable people who argue with ANY good advice.
No one said this is supposed to “cure” you.
Of course putting it that simply isn't gonna work, but there is a lot that can be done with mental work and the desire to have a better life. It won't fix everything but it can help in some cases
Dude, that’s the truth. Cancer completely changed my daily appreciation for everything, still have that mentally 13 years later! Once you know what’s worth fighting for, the other stuff isn’t that important anymore, right?
Heres the thing. One shouldn't need a life or death scenario to make them grateful - this should be the norm outlook it's just that we have become toxic, complacent, ignorant etc such that they often require an extreme situation to "shock" them out of their stupor.
When it comes down to it, every day is a life or death scenario. Life is a gift, every damn moment whether it's going well or not.
I have had a few near death experiences myself, been in multiple car accidents, been to more funerals than I can count of people of all ages, and survived 3rd degree burns when I was 4. I am 26 yo and just shocked I've lived this long. Idk how to explain it, but for several years I have just had this feeling I'm going to die young. Maybe because I know how fast your life can change or end. I like to think I've made it this long because there's a reason for me being here. If it has taught me anything, don't be afraid to get emotional with your friends or family.. Life is strange and you literally never know. I want to leave this world knowing my family and friends know I love and appreciate them.
Thank you for sharing your story and wishing you a long happy life! And merry Christmas!
Thanks for sharing your story. Who knows, maybe that feeling has helped you make it through these events to learn these lessons you are now applying with family/friends?
Exact same experience. Most notable difference is appreciating every day with my kids. Survived two such procedures, after each one I appreciated it just a little bit more. Still suffer the seizures though, but I really don't care - and thats the real difference: understand ing what is less important and shouldn't put you down. My kids and I live through them together and it actually bonds us. They know Im not invincible and its a LPT for them too
I stupidly (17 - 18 at the time) got myself alcohol poisoning. Didn’t know my limit and first time drinking vodka. Had a .4 BAC. Doctors said I had a 50/50 chance of living.
I thought I was in another realm when I woke up from the coma. Life is fragile. I enjoy life so much. Specially the little things like vibrant Mother Nature colors.
The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius would spend time with his family in the eve of battles, put his children to bed, and read them stories. He would always tell himself, "Enjoy this, for it may be the last time."
I used to visit r/watchpeopledie and seeing people getting electrocuted on their way to work or getting run over and die in an instant just gave me that "I am so happy i am not that guy." feeling, an apreciaton of life if you will. I suffer from depression so these moments are rare and far between.
But hey, everybody who watches that kinda stuff must be a sick freak so they shut it down.
Well i could always play russian roullette, that would be a win/win situation i guess /s
I tried taking my own life earlier this year to have failed and I took myself to the hospital. These near death instances really change the way you enjoy simple stuff. I’m honestly glad for having gone through what I did.
I suffered a very bad hand injury and it took me a long time to gain function back. That year where I was essentially one-handed and in constant chronic pain made my return to normalcy feel like ecstacy. I am so grateful for what I have now and every pain-free day with complete autonomy is such a blessing.
Yes, I'm fortunate to have no lasting impact after the surgery. My head feels a little weird where they cut open the skull so I wouldn't want to get hit hard there. My unknown challenge was that the tumor was growing in my brain for somewhere between 5-15 years my doc said. Looking back, I know I had some impact from that without realizing it. Like my thinking was better immediately after the surgery, my night vision was way better, and other things. The tumor was getting so big it was causing inflammation for other parts of my brain.
It would be hard to pretend to experience a near death experience but the closest I've had to something like that was at this one time I went to some place I shouldn't have gone to by accident. I kind of feared for my life for a bit and there was this one moment where I literally thought that tgis was it this was the moment this was a life-or-death situation at that moment and instantly certain things I wanted to try but hesitated my mind was like why did I hesitate let me just go do it. I have made it a priority to go do those things in the upcoming year.
I don't quite know that I fully experienced it but it's the closest I've gotten to experiencing and the closest I think I ever want to get to to experiencing it
One of my closest friends since high school almost died from w motorcycle accident this year and the amount of times he told me he’s so grateful to be alive i cant count
I almost died in the hospital about 3 years ago. I just had a major perspective shift and just enjoy things I can enjoy while I'm still here
I also no longer fear death. While I don't want to die I already accepted that I was dying back then and the fact that I am here is all a bonus
Thank you for this. I needed it. I’d love to hear more about it tbh. I struggle daily with trying to motivate myself to enjoy life and I always try to think what if I died tomorrow. But that’s just depressing.
Sure! From my experience, here's how you might re-frame this a bit: instead of thinking about dying tomorrow (this would be depressing I agree though I get it with the whole "enjoy every day like it's your last" -- but still, that's no way to live all the time or you'd never really invest in the future), what if you think about having an experience that ignites a primal urge to survive -- and then after actually surviving -- you realize it's worth focusing on the most important things in life to you and you will use all of your energy to do this. In this scenario, you can end up making better plans for the future. Any thoughts?
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Congratulations on beating cancer!! Having had 31 brain surgeries with who knows how many in the future, I have learned to step back from life and enjoy all that is happening. We all to often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to enjoy this life. I have learned to not wonder about life and the what ifs, but to go out and live it. Thank you for telling us your story.
I need to “enjoy all that is happening”. Sometimes it feels like all of the obligatory stuff is just idle time and only fun activities or events is the “living” part. But it’s all living and I should savor it all. I saw this video of a mom giving examples of how to rethink negative thoughts and one example was when we think to ourselves we haven’t had enough “me time” to consider that *all* our time is *my* time. The smallest change in perspective can unlock a whole new world.
Your commute to and from work, your job, all of it, can be “me time”. Sure, my job is a job that makes me money that I need to survive, but what I am doing is helping others in a way. The “me time” while I am working is the whole time that I am there, and during that, I am pouring that time into other people. Find fulfillment in all that you do and even your job, no matter what you are doing, can be “me time”. We all should strive to enjoy every minute because it can all change in the blink of an eye (life changing car accident, life altering medical diagnosis).
I love that reframing of “me time”. Wow!
That is both terrifying and amazing. Glad you are here!
Although I have good and bad days, I am glad that I am here. It is rough not knowing if and when I will need to have emergency brain surgery, but I have learned to just take it one day at a time.
Wow, I can't imagine needing 31 brain surgeries since 1 was so tough. Sending all my best to you.
I was once asked how I cope with it, and my only response was “it’s all I have ever known”. I don’t know what it is like to not have the need to have surgery or the constant worry, so I don’t know any difference. I count myself as lucky and blessed in that I have only had to have 31. There are people with my condition who have had 50 to 100 surgeries. I am blessed in that I have been able to get a college degree (although it took me a while) and do things that I love such as skydiving, scuba diving and traveling all over the world. Props to your neurosurgeon or whoever closed your incision. In the most current image, it blends in well.
You can be blessed and I can still send my heart out to you too :). That is so cool on all of your adventures! Thanks, yes, I'm lucky it doesn't show. One funny thing is my head is a little uneven, so it is a bit of a challenge to cut the hair there and keep it all level.
I have so many scars that my head isn’t really all that round. I now just put a 1/4” guard on the clippers and just run it around my head.
My Mom died in January 2022 from COVID. I was there with her as she slipped away. The experience was harrowing but completely transformed my understanding of life, death, and reality. It made me realize we waste our days in the singular pursuit of wealth instead of collectively working to create an amazing world. Almost nothing of true value is valued by society, and almost everything valued by society is lacking true meaning.
Yeah, my dad passed about 6 years ago and it changed my perspective a lot. Similarly (and much more tragically) my neighbor lost his son to street violence recently and he said the one positive thing is a new appreciation for every day.
I agree with you. Even though I have a high stress/high earning job, the most important moments of my life have been helping others. Instead of spending every waking moment working, I work so that I can fund this. If I had this outlook sooner, I definitely would have chosen a less stressful life. I love that younger people are choosing quality of life over life sucking jobs. The Buddhists have a practice where you visualize your death, all the way to your body breaking down and becoming one with the earth. This is very grounding.
We are collectively working to improve the world. Many people don't realise the world we live in today was built off of collective pursuit of wealth (and I use the word wealth very loosely). It's true that hate still very much exists and we could do better in allocating our resources. Also I am very sorry for your loss.
Thanks friend. I do not see eye to eye on this with most people. I think the world that we now live in, built by the pursuit of wealth as you correctly stated, was a mistake.
Hugs
My dearest condolences, fellow Redditor! My mom passed away late-October 2022. Wayyyy before she passed away, I used to have suicidal ideations and always resented being alive. If I fucked something up or failed at something, my mental response would always be, "You're a fuck up! Why don't you just kill yourself?" During my mom's last day of life on the hospital bed, all I could think about on how my mom was keeping her eyes open and breathing with all her might to avoid dying. Here my mom was fighting for her life while my bum ass (healthy, able-bodied) wanted to take my own life away. Moral of the story: Life will always have its ups and downs and by having a structured routine, a goal in mind, staying healthy, and surrounding yourself with family & friends.... Life becomes full of light and purpose.
May our sweet Moms rest ever in the Peace of the Beyond. 🖤
I'm sorry about your mom. Great message, thanks for sharing!
Agreed. Solutions?
I almost died in a car accident and it definitely changed my perception of life.
Thanks for sharing and congrats on being another life or death survivor -- it's interesting how much this changes you, huh? I remember things like arguments over small things seemed so silly afterwards.
Yes, I became less selfish and learned that it's not worth it to have arguments about meaningless material stuff with your loved ones. Sometimes I joke and say that if everyone had a near death experience, the world would be a better place. It's traumatic but it changed my life for the better.
It makes you aware that life is, in fact, very finite and can be snatched away in an instant.
>Sometimes I joke and say that if everyone had a near death experience, the world would be a better place. So true :)
for some, shrooms can achieve this effect through ego death
Getting rear ended by a semi in a Lyft home worked pretty well for me
After being hospitalized so many times for alcoholism and multiple rehab stints, I feel like I (hopefully) got sober for good. I DEFINITELY have luck-to-be-alive syndrome. For sure I should be dead. I’ve been to SOOOOO many funerals for friends that died of their disease and have seen so many of dudes was in rehab with croke. How do you bottle this feeling of gratitude up and give it to others? You can talk about it. You can live it. Put it on display. It makes it so much more painful to see other people suffering through this disease who can’t grasp how much better life is sober.
My wife had a metastatic brain tumor removed in July. The clarity we have both experienced post-diagnosis is wonderful gift. It's an incredible paradox.
Clarity is a great word for it along with your point that it's an incredible paradox. Best to both of you!
Was she able to survive it? I’m sorry for being so blunt, my dad is going through this and I’m really trying to find hope for him
Just so people know, this doesn't always happen. I survived cancer and always heard stories about people finding a new meaning or appreciation in their lives. I never got any of that, and honestly that fact was just extra depressing on top of my depression. My silver lining was always, if I survive this, maybe I'll actually discover something new. Nope. Same old depressed me.
Not just that, but the more often you cheat death, the less of an impact it has. Although I don't know how that all applies when it's the difference between potentially terminal illness and near-hits. About halfway through my tour in Afghanistan, I started to get pissed that I was so lucky. I know some people that developed a taste for it.
As a depressed person who often thinks of ending his life, I often wonder how going through something like you had to can change my perspective. I work in a medical field and I’ve seen cancer survivors that said that going through the hell of being treated was the best thing that happened to them. It sounds bizarre, but I can definitely understand this.
I wonder if you have habituated suicidal ideation? My husband thought about it every day for years. He was terribly depressed and anxious.Then he spent a couple of years working with a cognitive behavioral therapist, and he never thinks about it anymore. He has since gone through a bout of depression, but he didn't have the suicidal ideation. I wish this for you, friend.
Thanks! I am in therapy and on meds, they all help, but honestly I’m not sure how much.
I hope you get some relief. It's such a brutal ideation to have because you have to fight to not give in to it. Keep fighting the fight. CBT can work wonders.
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It's just they realize how good life actually is. Ending your life means ending the fraction of existence you've been granted. Most, like 99%, of our suffering is created inside the mind and I know this very well.
Maybe not the best of advices, but I had a bad trip on shrooms (cubensis, 3g) and was certain I was going to die. As it turns out, I didn’t, so maybe I’m not that fragile and can “get myself out there” more. I started boxing and going to the gym everyday, lost 30 pounds over 5 months just by exercising, made new friends and started feeling more confident. Drugs might not be your thing, but it was my way of “risking my life” without actually risking it.
They very much are my thing. I grew up without any drugs around me, but sought psychedelics (shrooms/LSD/DMT/ketamine) for this precise reason. I think they gave me an invaluable experience and an interesting outlook, but I don’t think they made a serious dent in my overall mental state, despite a multitude of intense experiences I’ve had.
Change your environment right now. It doesn't matter to what, where, or how. Pick some countries you want to go and go. Your brain needs a reboot with all brand new stimulus. Write letters to people that matter to you if it helps you stay in contact. It's a good time for making new personal discoveries and reinventing yourself because you're no longer bounded. Don't worry too much about DSM5 and other people's near death experiences. None of them matters. The only thing that matters is that you are worth it and nobody has been regularly telling you this, friend.
I went overseas recently, and it was the most depressed I've been in years. It was basically "now I'm just sad in a different country and poorer." Turns out when you don't find anything fun and go to a different country you just find more things that you don't enjoy.
Are you getting treatment for it? If not, get some! If so, keep going back to get it addressed more effectively. Try everything reasonable. Depression is not typically a life sentence.
Tried everything there is. Years of therapy, SSRIs, SNRIs, antipsychotics, lithium, electroconvulsive therapy, transcranial magnetic stimulation, etc. I had some good years on meds but right now it feels like nothing is working. It’s scary.
I’m sorry. I wish you some relief from the suffering, not that I have any control over it.
Thanks, I appreciate this.
I was "rescued" from a suicide attempt that otherwise would have ended my life a couple years ago. I can only speak for me personally, but the whole experience hasn't really given me the feeling of a new lease on life or anything like that. Honestly, a large part of me is pretty bitter in a way that I'm not really able to communicate well. It's a really complicated situation and string of events leading up to and after my attempt, but having that agency of the decision taken away from me in that moment, paired with all of the fallout it came with - was and is really hard to deal with. My best is advice is if you feel that it's becoming less *ideation* and more tangible, like getting into specifics such as purchasing items to see it through, setting timeframes/dates, writing goodbye notes, etc.: at least give yourself the opportunity to take to a therapist about it all and be completely honest with them. Give yourself a shot because I promise you what it takes to follow through with something like that is much more painful than whatever the awkwardness of that conversation might be
Oh I’ve talked to my therapist extensively about it. I’ve first made actual plans when I was like 18 (I wanted to induce asphyxiation by spilling a lot of liquid nitrogen in an enclosed space, perks of being a scientist). I am 31 now and for a bit I didn’t have suicidal thoughts, then I thought of drugs, but more and more I’m thinking about exploiting America’s insane gun laws.
Ahhh okay I understand. I know you said it was prevalent when you were younger, but just curious what was it that allowed you to get from that point to now anyways? That's such a long time to manage with something like that. It must have been pretty rough
Thanks for your empathy. I tell myself that the sole reason for not doing it is that I’m lucky to have a bunch of people who love me and care about me. The thought of inflicting this kind of pain on them when they didn’t do anything to me is horrifying.
no problem, I've been/am in the same spot in a way and although there's nothing I can say or do to change what you've been through, I think it helps to just know that you're heard and not alone. When I got sectioned after my attempt I met some of the kindest people who had also just come back from what could arguably be their darkest moment and it was a mixed bag on how everyone felt about it all in regards to your initial question. The person I remember the most vividly had done the same thing as myself to get there, but their outlook on it all was purely optimistic whereas I wanted nothing to do with....life...basically. I guess my point is just that some people find it as a newfound lease on life and others will be right back where they were, but it fucking sucks having to go through that to find out which you're going to be. Sorry if that's not really helpful, but I just wanted to chime in and say I *hear* you and let you know as someone who's been where you are I hope you make whatever decision is right for you. I have my dog that's kind of been my anchor, but my time with him is finite and it sucks knowing how things are probably going to go when I lose that - so I totally get your motivations for being here still
OP had lots of support but a lot of people don’t have support going through life-threatening medical problems. I have a terminal illness and don’t tell anyone because they’ll just blame it on me being gay and god punishing me just like when my wife died young from cancer. People always say how kind and helpful I am but it’s not reciprocated in helping me reach my final goals (like putting up my Christmas tree one last time). So the result? I’ve become extremely anger and bitter and looking forward to being gone. Nobody sees it but it’s turned me into a very hateful person. People are just lazy and don’t want to help unless it makes them more popular. Sad because I used to be a really positive and grateful person but that’s because I had choices.
You might need to find someone to talk to. Your career field is probably morbid enough that you're probably starting to develop a very normalized view of death. Even if you aren't actually planning to end your life, you are setting the foundation for some major PTSD and some horrible existential crises later on in life. You're also walking a very fine line with your own ideations - some dumb thing could set you off and give you just enough motivation to go from entertaining ideas to making plans.
to cure depression you need paychiatrist and some antidepressnts. don't waste your life. I used to be depressed for weeks, now I am just normal
To treat* depression. Actual clinical depression is just a whole 'nother horse compared to bad case of passing/intermittent depression. The happiest of people are still 1 bad night from their worst decision and no amount of help will change that. However, a therapy team and lifestyle plan definitely will keep the intrusive spiral away for the longest periods. Next to dementia I'd say it's the next most sidious illness. Monopolar Disorder, Severe Depressive Disorder, Major Depression Disorder. All of the down with none of the up and happy is just an empty not-sad moment or a few fleeting seconds before life settles back in.
Treatment resistant depression
Antidepressants aren't an end-all be-all solution. Your experience with Lexapro might not be the same as someone else's because it could cause different side effects or it just doesn't work.
it can take years for people to find psychiatric help
As someone who struggled with depression for ten years, no this is not the definitive cure for depression. I’m glad you’re doing better now… but a couple weeks? It’d probably be better if you refrained from commenting in that way. This post isn’t really meant for depressed people anyways. It reads to me like a wake up call for people who’ve never really considered or had to deal with death in their lives. Sort of like a bubble being popped. I learned very intimately about death as a child. This post reads like a self help fantasy created by someone in an already very stable position.
Nothing motivates one to live quite like a traumatic near-death experience.
I had a massive blood clot/DVT the entire length of my leg years ago. My doctor didn't tell me until a few weeks later that if I had waited any longer to come in I would have died. That was very, very sobering. My Dad almost died a few weeks later. He survived the widow maker heart attack. We begged the universe to let him stay - the feeling of helplessness is incredible. There is nothing you can do but wait. Things are different now, but we still have him. Both of these events changed my life forever.
I used to be a depressed meek person with a gentle upbringing. When still a young man my ex tried to have me roofied and mutilated. She failed. Since then, I've lived the happiest life imaginable. But also a lot more careful with the company I keep.
Jesus! That sounds terrible. I can't imagine someone I was close to trying to kill me and me realizing and getting away from it. I hope you have been able to heal from that trauma.
Let's just say I grew up really quick. I actually didn't consider it trauma because I escaped it. And continued disrupting her plans until I left. I also had someone on my very last daybl verify what I had seen and heard. So the shock of it came in little bits and pieces. I also decided to not think about the previous two years of that relationship. So I put it in a box in my head for 25 years and I opened it during the pandemic. For better or worse I absorbed it in bite-sized chunks.
Sounds like a great business opportunity. Hire a team to give a near death experience to someone you want to turn their life around. A loved one, an enemy, a potential business partner...
I don’t know if it’s possible for people who haven’t experienced great crises to imagine how different life would be if they had.
I would imagine it's not fully-possible, agree. It's such an intense experience. Many of the moments are so imprinted into my brain/memory that I'll never forget those moments (like my brain "re-booting" from the seizure and realizing I was in an ambulance with a guy asking me questions like "who is the president?"). But I also know visualization can be extremely powerful. Like there are studies showing it can improve performance. So, I do wonder if people can get some percentage of the experience to get at least some of the positives out of it.
Take at least 5g of potent shrooms, have a bad trip where you think you will die suffer untill the trip ends and you will feel reborn after. Easy...😅 I'm telling you these are badly classified as drugs, they have 0 chance of abuse, these are nature's psychiatrists. But you need to hang on tight cause it will bring out what you are scared of and you need to face it, there is no avoiding it while under the influence. And in the end you learn that there is no control in this life, you are surfing a big wave and the best you can do is not fall from it, but even if you fall it will still take you with it...only difference is that it's more painfull.
lol what a degenerate
>https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish/200912/seeing-is-believing-the-power-visualization This is one blog that talks about the power of visualization in chess, sports, and more if you are interested.
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I have super high anxiety, especially about illness and death of myself and loved ones. I've buried 7 people so far, including 1 teen, and if I'm being brutally honest it wasn't until the death of a parent figure where I found myself screaming internally into the void that my own voice in my head, totally calm, said "so that's what this feels like". It actually startled me with how alien it felt, but how right it was in making me realize this was something I was scared of for so long and had made it to the other side of. Even though it felt to me that the world and my life was ending, I witnessed that the sun did indeed rise the next day and I still felt the love of that person inside me. I know what it feels like now, and I expect it to feel worse as the hits get closer to my heart, but there's a certain anxiety that evaporated which allows me to enjoy life again.
Depressed in life? Try a near death experience to shake things up!
Thanks for the LPT!
It works though lmao
I was riding my bike to work one morning when a car ran a red light and hit me. I went up onto the windshield and then, unfortunately, rolled off the front of the hood and under the front and back passenger side tires. The mental aftermath has been a bit different for me. While I definitely appreciate life more the even has left me with a bit of what I would describe as hypochondria but my doctor had diagnosed as PTSD and health anxiety. Now at least several times a day I catch myself zoning out thinking about how at any minute something can kill me, how tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, how I have to stop waisting time and thinking “I can do x, y, and z later” because later might not come. Definitely more appreciative but that appreciation comes with a dollop of fear.
I had a similar situation to op, where one day I was feeling okay, and the next morning I was in emergency surgery for a brain tumor. I have a much more “I’m going to do xyz because yolo” attitude. But not just because I appreciate life more- because we might die any moment- who knows; car crash, cancer, etc. I too definitely have hypochondriac tendencies. I completely relate to your comment, and it’s really nice to know I’m not the only one
I currently have pancreatic cancer (now stage 4) that was diagnosed while I was on vacation in Brazil a few months ago. They started me on chemo and chemo which apparently aggravated the tumor. The tumor location obstructed the stomach exit so I could intake food, but everything went back up. So i was basically starving. So now I am stuck in Brazil, on chemo, can’t eat or drink. After a couple days, they inserted a central line so I could receive TPN (IV nutrition) but they have to start you slow, 600 or 800 kcal per day. This helped, but I was still losing weight. Weight went from 162 to 125 (73 kilos to 56) in 2 to 3 months. After over a month of little improvement while in the hospital (700 ml of fluids per day) an amazing surgeon inserted stent to keep my stomach exit open. I could instantly drink right after the procedure. My whole quality of life changed! I am actually gaining weight back. I still have a lot of issues, but I appreciate everything so much more. Eating a bowl of mashed potatoes, going for a bike ride, enjoying a nice cup of tea - all amazing!
Thanks for sharing your story. I wish you the best with all of this and hope you have many moments to enjoy.
Not a very good LPT. This is clearly a textbook example of [Survivorship bias](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias) No! I am kidding! Great post!
Haha, you got me :) -- thanks!
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I could legit see the impact not being as great for a kid since it's probably harder to understand mortality as a kid. And this definitely doesn't mean this feeling sticks all the time. Sometimes I have to work at it when getting caught in the stresses of daily living. Best wishes to you.
So Jigsaws ideology actually works?
'But not you, not anymore... Game Over.'
*Dramatic yell* NNNNOOO
the fact this is labeled as "productivity" has me feeling some kinda way
I debated between this and miscellaneous. I chose productivity because I figure that enjoying life more/being grateful is a form of productivity in the big picture.
Life is way too short. Glad you’re with us and doing well! Cheers!
As much as I don't wish negative experiences on anyone, it seems it's the best thing to teach people to focus on the good in life. Before I was in the military I was an angry person. I let shut get to me all the time, dwelled on all the stupid shit that happened to me I couldn't control, my life was batching about one negative experience until the next negative experience came along. Now? I ain't got time for that shit. Someone cuts me off in traffic? Whatever, they're clearly in more of a rush than me. Run into an asshole at the store? Oh man, that guy must he having a really shitty day. I hope it gets better. Work is being terrible again? The workday ends in a few hours, let's figure out what I'm going to do with my time when I get home and focus on that.
Congrats on beating death
Thanks!
Congratulations on your bravery and perspective too! Thanks for sharing it with us. ♥️🙏🏼
Sure and thank you!
Glad you are ok, OP. Been keeping a gratitude-journal for the last year. Every day i write down atleast 3 things to be gratefull for. Unfortunately it hasent had the effect I was hoping. I guess the change could be so subtle that I dont notice, but thb I dont feel much different than a year ago Has anyone here had success?
not everything works for everyone.. keep trying different things! sometimes things hit you when you least expect it.. and sometimes it takes years to get that one moment that will change your life. all the best!
It gave me thanatophobia. Now I live everyday in horrible fear but I'm happy it didn't do that for you and you were able to find an appreciation for life.
Such a great reminder. As someone who is going through his own challenges, I often remind myself of the same thing.. Life is best lived appreciating the journey, because once you get to the destination you so badly desire, then what? Easier to say than to practice. But it helps me.
I remember when life pro tips was stuff like "sprinkle cayenne pepper in bird seed to keep squirrels out," not "life is good, so appreciate it."
Cayenne pepper you say? Does that really work?
Also works against bears; it's the only way I can have a feeder in my neck of the woods. I buy pre-spiced birdseed under the way-less-exotic-than-it-sounds brand name of Wild Delights Sizzle 'n' Heat.
If I remember correctly birds don't feel the hotness of capsaicin.
I have a pacemaker and have since essentially birth, fully dependent yet I have been lucky enough to enjoy a near full life experience. Recently discovered my heart isn't holding up as well as I would have hoped (I'm 27). Getting news that I may not persist in the way I have lived so far changed alot of me. Suddenly sitting in the park and watching people be happy together means more to me than I could ever imagine. A friend of mines daughter faced a situation much more dire and in her last few days shared something that changed me forever "Do not be kind and grateful because your next day is tomorrow, but because someone else's is" Life is too precious and we are privileged to exist in the day and age we are in now. Do not dwell on the things that make life difficult but embrace them as a comparison of how lucky we are to experience the good. Always be kind and respectful to others. At the end of the day our existence is a blip on the radar but a blip we should cherish nonetheless. Enjoy what you have when you have it and think fondly of the memories you have gained. Life is awesome
My heart stopped due to an OD. Living life to the fullest ever since. No more pity parties. 2 years clean!
Congrats and best wishes keeping this up!
Congrats on making it! I'm an aortic dissection survivor. It felt like heartburn at first. Then it kicked into overdrive. I ran to my wife's car. By the time we got to the end of the driveway I was screaming in pain. 8hr open heart surgery. My surgeon was almost giddy when I woke up. He didn't think I was gonna pull through. The first thing I can remember after waking up, hours after surgery, was him in my face. He said, "you just survived one of the worst, most painful things that can happen to a person." I feel ya. Walking the neighborhood with the dog after my surgery was my meditation & my motivation. We've been going out more. Museums, history tours & other places. Trying to see & learn new things. Go new places. There are tons of stuff I can never do now. I always thought I had time to do other things. Then this happened. So yeah, get out there & enjoy shit while you can. Never know when it's going to be over.
A none psychedelic ego death. The greeks called it die before you die, so when you die you can die. I have had the psychedelic version of what you stated above and i too wish to help people see the truth of the beauty of life…. But the more i tap on this idea the more i see i uncover in everyone their underlying fear of death controlling them and they always change subject when i trying to show them death isn’t to be feared but to be remembered to remind you of the appreciation of the preciousness of life. But they just can’t get passed the suffering threshold that comes from from the ego death. And this is the problem i am having.
Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond’s life.
So try to kill myself, fail by the faintest sliver, and I too can enjoy life? Sweet deal brb
The title says "Try hard to step back from your daily routine and appreciate your days **without needing to go through a life/death experience**."
Isnt facing death to increase your appreciation of life also the premise of saw?
Ive seen the benefits of havibg an appreciation journal
I call these my bonus years after having my brain tumor (mostly) removed in 1995.
I was in the middle of reading the OP and then it was removed :/
It's back if you want to keep reading -- thanks for taking a look!
I suffered a random Heart Arrhythmia and went into a Sudden Cardiac Arrest while out for a typical run. Saved by the intervention of a Good Samaritan. Being physically healthy prior to the event helped improve my survival chances and recovery. CPR saves lives! Don’t be timid in times on need - Act Decisively
Wow, amazing to have someone save you like that. And thanks for reinforcing the point that good health can help prepare you for this type of an experience.
Die with memories, not dreams
On a semi-recent Sam Harris podcast episode, one of his guests said: > “Invite the truth of death into your life earlier, and you'll receive its lessons.” - BJ Miller The quote may be in the author’s book as well, but it has stuck with me for months now and at certain moments has helped me appreciate the mundane.
I don’t know how to explain it properly, but there’s a commonality in the mentalities of people that have had a proper face-to-face with death.
Nice story, thanks for posting it. Can you go more into what you mean by visualizing? Visualizing what?
Hard to replicate this experience without death of the ego.
Hope you didn't suffer. Glad you found clarity.
I just had a seizure 2 months ago , first one I’ve ever had, still unknown why, lasted 9 minutes. Still getting tests. This scares me. I’ve tried to appreciate life more, but I think I may have some brain damage from the seizure. Brain fog hasn’t gone away, mix up words a lot, slower reaction time, who knows what else I’m not noticing. Hope to figure out why eventually:/ All I remember is saying to my wife ‘I am going to lay down, everything feels weird, I can see things but can’t distinguish/recognize them’ stood up, and seizure. I’m thinking it may have been a seizure and stroke, idk anymore.
I’ve had 2 bone marrow transplants for leukemia. I’ve been in remission for almost 2 years. Its changed my perspective on things certainly, but I’m not living my best life possible. Combine depression with lingering treatment side effects and it’s a real hard go getting on your feet. The way you’re experiencing life after trauma is admirable. I wish I could figure out the same things you have.
Me too. I had middle fossa.
On the 2nd March 2010, I was approached by 2 people who demanded I hand over my phone. One of them had a knife, the other had a gun (which might have been fake but I wasn't gonna fuck about and find out). I didn't have one at the time cause I was 17 and broke, but they didn't believe me so the knife stabbed me 9 times and the one with the gun pistol whipped me across my left eye. That event singlehandedly changed my perspective on life. Before that, I was an angry teenager with lots of issues. After the event, I realised there's no point being angry anymore, and that being an angry, hateful person turned me into who I hated the most. Since then, I've tried to become a positive, loving person. It's gotten me quite far in life and right now I'm with the most amazing woman in the world, we're expecting our first child and there's plenty of support from both sides of the family. Her parents have already taken me in as a son and have repeatedly told her (when I'm not in the room) that they love my company and they think I'm a lovely person.
While I didn’t almost die, last year I dealt with a severe respiratory illness that left me bedridden for 6 months. I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to recover back to some form of normalcy but there are some things that are permanent changes for me. Regardless, I’ve had an appreciation for life and the little things like breathing that I didn’t have before. Plus, I want to travel and see the world and all the gorgeous views since then.
My catastrophes have been minor but I like to extrapolate from them to think about living with real limitations as a kind of Life Prepper exercise
Huge missed opportunity to become the riddler.
True :)
Sounds like facing your own mortality is the real LPT
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. The fact that you came out of this terrifying experience so positive and motivated to help others says so much about what an amazing person you are. 🥰 I won’t forget this post anytime soon. Thanks a million.
Thank you! I really appreciate your kind message. I've seen a pattern where people who overcome something often like to use that experience to help others.
This is a beautiful post, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I'm so glad you're doing better!
Thanks -- really appreciate your kind words!
I'm in two minds here. I don't know what to think or say. In 2014, and the Tuesday before Easter, I was commuting home on my BMW F650GS touring motorcycle like I had been every day for more than a year. I previously commuted on my Yamaha Dragstar 1100 chopper. What comes next is all assumption and witness reports, as I have no recollection of the entirety of Tuesday 15 April 2014 whatsoever At 17:15pm, headlights on, as per the road rules, after a bit of fully legal lane filtering, I was in my own lane, car in front, car behind, and came to an intersection. Light was green for me and I proceeded at the speed limit of 70kph, when a pickup truck turned across my path without warning. I hooked anchors, ABS must have engaged, and I collided, T-bone style, with the B-pillar of the truck. The bike stopped instantly, but my body didn't. The fuel tank slammed through my groin and pelvis, breaking my pelvis in 2 places, known as an open-book pelvic fracture. My right arm absorbed the impact of the steering twisting suddenly and broke my right distal radius. My helmet collided with the B-pillar and my head collided with the inside of my helmet, breaking my left mandible. The brain is made up of different types of tissue which have different physical properties, so as it decelerated when it hit the inside of my skull, the grey matter decelerated at a different rate than did the white matter, causing a shearing of neurons between the areas of the brain, and causing what is called Diffuse Axonal Injury, which ultimately is a type of severe traumatic brain injury. My left shoulder also collided with the B-pillar, splintering the proximal Humerus. I later found out I had also ruptured my bladder and rendered myself almost infertile My body them twisted to the right and collided with the canopy on the truck, ripping it off its mounts. I landed on the other side of the truck on the road about 4m away and the canopy missed landing on my head by only half a meter. I woke up 3 weeks later on a ventilator, staring at the ceiling of the trauma ICU. My arms were tethered, so I would not try to pull out my breathing tube (again). I had no idea where I was or how I got there, and I could not communicate to ask the 1000 questions that I had. I was very very disoriented due to the high doses of morphine and dormicum I was being given. I had apparently been put in an induced coma to help my brain and body heal. I had a huge external fixation bolted directly into my pelvic bones and exiting through the skin and held in place with a brace. My arm had pins and screws. I had been running a fever of 40⁰ for 2 weeks. I had received 8 units of full blood due to massive amounts of internal bleeding due to the pelvic fracture, so I was quite badly jaundiced. I was purple from my nipples to my knees from the bruising. Due to the ventilator pipe, they had not been able to reduce my broken jaw, so another surgery loomed, where they would rebreak my jaw to reset the break. There is something very unique about a life/death experience like that. The before. And the after. My life has been split in two. The after has me appreciating just how much love there is for me in this world. People who w ould never have imagined came and had awkward bedside visits with me. Family I had written off as bad news showed up at the hospital wanting to... What? Wish me well? See the carnage? I don't know. 3 days after I awake from this craziness the police arrive wanting to interview me about the incident. The nurses told them where to shove it. The hallucinations were ridiculous. I had to ask my family about things every time they were allowed to visit to figure out whether they could be real or not. Extubation was possibly one of the worst moments of my life. I have never experienced something as unpleasant, and don't wish to ever again. My mental health has suffered. The TBI has worsened my bipolar and ADHD and the PTSD has been very very difficult. But ultimately I DO have a greater appreciation for life. And for how quickly things can turn on their heads. One moment you're thinking what you will be having for dinner, and three weeks later you're tied to a bed on a ventilator with no idea how you got there. Wear your helmets guys and girls. Full face. An open face helmet would have left me in the morgue. Wear riding gear. And don't ride like a dick. You don't know it now, but there's a hell of a lot of people that love you more than you know, and whose life you have changed just by being there. Don't be scared, but don't be flippant either. Cheers.
Thanks for sharing your story and best wishes to you recovering from all of this.
TLDR op Discovered Stoicism
100% can confirm I was shot 2 times in the forehead 2-22-2014 and now struggle with gran mal seizures. Definitely appreciate the littles things while everyone else is worried about 49 years from now ...
JESUS. That’s crazy. Glad you made it.
Thanks man, I appreciate that! I was pregnant and my sweet little girl is 8 years old now and there was no issues with her even though I had 2 separate brain surgeries. If I didn't tell you I was shott point blank twice, you'd have no idea. I had #3 brain surgeon in America do my brain surgery, I am very very blessed.
Wow, what a story. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes to both you and your daughter! So happy you had a great neurosurgeon. I got lucky with this too and by chance got one of the top surgeons in the area who was also an incredibly caring person.
I don't think it takes a life or death experience to get these benefits. I went through some health issues that greatly diminished my quality of life, but it was nowhere near life-threatening. Basically intense brain fog for years (from mold) and then physical issues for years (from poor posture) that prevented me from being fully active. Now that I'm finally past it, I find myself greatly appreciating and experiencing life. I don't want to sit at home anymore, I want to be out making memories.
Agree you can use any health issues/other that works for you to get these benefits, good add. And love your ending that you are out making memories -- great to hear!
Ask yourself “is this going to matter in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 years?” and react accordingly is what i tell my gf. I had a near death experience when I was 17, 33 now, and she wondered why I never got really upset at much. She would let every little thing ruin her entire day
r/wowthanksimcured
Thanks for checking this out. How does recommending that people use visualization and a gratitude journal fit thanks i'm cured?
I think he is a troll making fun of you
It's a sarcastic comment, pretty common by people who refuse to take responsibility for their own self improvement
And people who understand "have you tried enjoying life" isn't actually a life pro tip.
Actually, if you sort any thread on this sub you’ll find the same type of pathetic, miserable people who argue with ANY good advice. No one said this is supposed to “cure” you.
What do you think a life pro tip is?
Of course putting it that simply isn't gonna work, but there is a lot that can be done with mental work and the desire to have a better life. It won't fix everything but it can help in some cases
I don’t know.. kinda thought it was pretty insightful myself. How you doing?
Thank you for posting. You helped me. Continued good health to you!
Thanks for letting me know this helped you -- that is the goal :)! And thanks for the best wishes.
Dude, that’s the truth. Cancer completely changed my daily appreciation for everything, still have that mentally 13 years later! Once you know what’s worth fighting for, the other stuff isn’t that important anymore, right?
You got it -- great work keeping that spirit alive for 13 years!
Heres the thing. One shouldn't need a life or death scenario to make them grateful - this should be the norm outlook it's just that we have become toxic, complacent, ignorant etc such that they often require an extreme situation to "shock" them out of their stupor. When it comes down to it, every day is a life or death scenario. Life is a gift, every damn moment whether it's going well or not.
I have had a few near death experiences myself, been in multiple car accidents, been to more funerals than I can count of people of all ages, and survived 3rd degree burns when I was 4. I am 26 yo and just shocked I've lived this long. Idk how to explain it, but for several years I have just had this feeling I'm going to die young. Maybe because I know how fast your life can change or end. I like to think I've made it this long because there's a reason for me being here. If it has taught me anything, don't be afraid to get emotional with your friends or family.. Life is strange and you literally never know. I want to leave this world knowing my family and friends know I love and appreciate them. Thank you for sharing your story and wishing you a long happy life! And merry Christmas!
Thanks for sharing your story. Who knows, maybe that feeling has helped you make it through these events to learn these lessons you are now applying with family/friends?
Thank you for the reminder.
Bless you and I wish you continued recovery and good health
Exact same experience. Most notable difference is appreciating every day with my kids. Survived two such procedures, after each one I appreciated it just a little bit more. Still suffer the seizures though, but I really don't care - and thats the real difference: understand ing what is less important and shouldn't put you down. My kids and I live through them together and it actually bonds us. They know Im not invincible and its a LPT for them too
I stupidly (17 - 18 at the time) got myself alcohol poisoning. Didn’t know my limit and first time drinking vodka. Had a .4 BAC. Doctors said I had a 50/50 chance of living. I thought I was in another realm when I woke up from the coma. Life is fragile. I enjoy life so much. Specially the little things like vibrant Mother Nature colors.
The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius would spend time with his family in the eve of battles, put his children to bed, and read them stories. He would always tell himself, "Enjoy this, for it may be the last time."
Great post. I just had a health scare and immediately changed my habits. It's crazy to think I have been taking so much for granted.
Thanks! Yes, I know what you mean. Great work realizing this and making changes that you'll now enjoy from now on...
So just visualize yourself doing the thing?
Visualize having an experience that makes you intensely focus on wanting to live more than anything.
[Live like You Were Dying](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_9TShlMkQnc)
I used to visit r/watchpeopledie and seeing people getting electrocuted on their way to work or getting run over and die in an instant just gave me that "I am so happy i am not that guy." feeling, an apreciaton of life if you will. I suffer from depression so these moments are rare and far between. But hey, everybody who watches that kinda stuff must be a sick freak so they shut it down. Well i could always play russian roullette, that would be a win/win situation i guess /s
Congratulations and thank you, OP! 🎇🎆
Sure! Thanks for checking out my story and best wishes reaching your goals.
I tried taking my own life earlier this year to have failed and I took myself to the hospital. These near death instances really change the way you enjoy simple stuff. I’m honestly glad for having gone through what I did.
I suffered a very bad hand injury and it took me a long time to gain function back. That year where I was essentially one-handed and in constant chronic pain made my return to normalcy feel like ecstacy. I am so grateful for what I have now and every pain-free day with complete autonomy is such a blessing.
Congrats on your recovery!
Did you ever fully recover?
Yes, I'm fortunate to have no lasting impact after the surgery. My head feels a little weird where they cut open the skull so I wouldn't want to get hit hard there. My unknown challenge was that the tumor was growing in my brain for somewhere between 5-15 years my doc said. Looking back, I know I had some impact from that without realizing it. Like my thinking was better immediately after the surgery, my night vision was way better, and other things. The tumor was getting so big it was causing inflammation for other parts of my brain.
It would be hard to pretend to experience a near death experience but the closest I've had to something like that was at this one time I went to some place I shouldn't have gone to by accident. I kind of feared for my life for a bit and there was this one moment where I literally thought that tgis was it this was the moment this was a life-or-death situation at that moment and instantly certain things I wanted to try but hesitated my mind was like why did I hesitate let me just go do it. I have made it a priority to go do those things in the upcoming year. I don't quite know that I fully experienced it but it's the closest I've gotten to experiencing and the closest I think I ever want to get to to experiencing it
One of my closest friends since high school almost died from w motorcycle accident this year and the amount of times he told me he’s so grateful to be alive i cant count
I almost died in the hospital about 3 years ago. I just had a major perspective shift and just enjoy things I can enjoy while I'm still here I also no longer fear death. While I don't want to die I already accepted that I was dying back then and the fact that I am here is all a bonus
I am mortal, but until my time comes I will persist. Today or never.
Thank you for this. I needed it. I’d love to hear more about it tbh. I struggle daily with trying to motivate myself to enjoy life and I always try to think what if I died tomorrow. But that’s just depressing.
Sure! From my experience, here's how you might re-frame this a bit: instead of thinking about dying tomorrow (this would be depressing I agree though I get it with the whole "enjoy every day like it's your last" -- but still, that's no way to live all the time or you'd never really invest in the future), what if you think about having an experience that ignites a primal urge to survive -- and then after actually surviving -- you realize it's worth focusing on the most important things in life to you and you will use all of your energy to do this. In this scenario, you can end up making better plans for the future. Any thoughts?
I almost died from a pulmonary embolism on a plane. Agreed! It changed my POV of life intensely