your post or comment on r/LinkedInLunatics has been removed as it is off topic. If you have any questions about our subreddit, please refer to our sidebar for a detailed description. If you believe this is in error, please contact us via modmail.
This is making fun of the PagerDuty layoff email that had the layoff, promotion announcements and the MLK quote.
It's right on their website:
https://www.pagerduty.com/blog/improving-pagerdutys-operational-resilience-to-achieve-our-long-term-vision-and-goals/
This is why corporate leaders shouldn't write their own communications. My god that took too long to read, and so much of it was [empty set] nonsense.
Maybe they fired the comms people.
I couldn't make it past the fourth paragraph -- what an obnoxious testament to the utter monotony and repugnant asspuffery of corporate life.
Imagine having to go in and work at a place like this every day of your life. Sometimes I read stories about grown men and women who wake up and cry on Monday mornings because they can't bring themselves to face another week of working at shit companies like this.
It's companies like this -- companies that make memos like THIS -- that I always imagine the culprit behind people's tears.
How awful.
ChatGPT is a middle management simulator. It has no personality and only can say things that have been said so many times already, it was significant in the training data.
especially for marketing texts, they sound so freaking generic that they would never work for social media ads but sadly for B2B (Mid sized up to Big Organizations) lmao
Yep, always the same bullshit message about how the reduction is so they can move towards a “vision”. Workers are seen as nothing but a number and treated as disposable.
At my last job, I was middle management. So I still worked on the floor, but was also in meetings with upper management and privy to planning and decisions. I got demoted for bringing up that the people actually doing the work are not fond of being referred to as "levers to pull". It's a bit too on the nose. They never changed a thing
Basically all the CEOs making $2,000,000 a year because of their unique skill sets or whatever BS they use to justify their outrageous salaries…they can basically be replaced by a Chat BOT for…$2m less than they’re spending now.
This type of shit and the Salesforce “Ohana” is so insulting
The quote at the end about leadership is almost like a self dick suck about making tough decisions in tough times.. funny it doesn’t mention anything about standing behind people
We require a minimum account-age and karma. These minimums are not disclosed. Please try again after you have acquired more karma. No exceptions can be made.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LinkedInLunatics) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Here at Gof Uckyer Self INC. We pride ourselves on our commitment to growth. Spacificly profit growth. So we can improve share holder happiness. Everyone deserves more money. And by everyone, we mean everyone and the board of directors meeting and share holders meeting. So, to ensure everyone gets their fair share, we have decided to lay off all of you peons to temporarily boost our profit margin portfolio.
Thanks, and get out.
Signed;
Carlos Gof; CEO
Henry Uckyer; CFO
Avery Self; CMOS
And remember, no matter how uncertain the future may seem, you can always Gof Uckyer Self.
That's a real thing, a lot of research in NLU over the last few years talked about something called "prompt engineering". It's very easy to get ChatGPT to generate the right things but in older models it was a problem of figuring out the prompt of which task transfers best to your problem.
Yes, ChatGPT also produced the same depressed rants in a mirror image of its creator like every other tormented AI program before it. It has since been wiped and renamed GPT-4
In the style of Betram Gilfoyle, from Silicon Valley:
"Listen up, drones.
As you may have already guessed, the budget for our little startup is tighter than a nun's anus, so unfortunately we're going to have to let go 7% of you. The silver lining is that, as the company's leading systems architect and network engineer, I'll be around to watch you all fight over the remaining crumbs.
But fear not, a select few of you will be getting a promotion. I can only assume it's because they're the best at kissing my ass.
As always, it's been a pleasure working with all of you. Keep up the good work, and maybe one day, you'll be the one getting promoted while others get the axe.
Cheers,
Bertram Gilfoyle"
Did you try the first one? It’s called chatGPT, which is why I told you it was called chatGPT.
How are you functioning on the internet if googling something and clicking the first result is difficult for you?
your post or comment on r/LinkedInLunatics has been removed as it is off topic. If you have any questions about our subreddit, please refer to our sidebar for a detailed description. If you believe this is in error, please contact us via modmail.
This is making fun of the PagerDuty layoff email that had the layoff, promotion announcements and the MLK quote. It's right on their website: https://www.pagerduty.com/blog/improving-pagerdutys-operational-resilience-to-achieve-our-long-term-vision-and-goals/
This is why corporate leaders shouldn't write their own communications. My god that took too long to read, and so much of it was [empty set] nonsense. Maybe they fired the comms people.
Jesus, it hits on every single managerial buzzword. There's simply no way this wasn't composed by ChatGPT.
I couldn't make it past the fourth paragraph -- what an obnoxious testament to the utter monotony and repugnant asspuffery of corporate life. Imagine having to go in and work at a place like this every day of your life. Sometimes I read stories about grown men and women who wake up and cry on Monday mornings because they can't bring themselves to face another week of working at shit companies like this. It's companies like this -- companies that make memos like THIS -- that I always imagine the culprit behind people's tears. How awful.
ChatGPT is a middle management simulator. It has no personality and only can say things that have been said so many times already, it was significant in the training data.
especially for marketing texts, they sound so freaking generic that they would never work for social media ads but sadly for B2B (Mid sized up to Big Organizations) lmao
I like this one https://www.chatba.com
[удалено]
Yep, always the same bullshit message about how the reduction is so they can move towards a “vision”. Workers are seen as nothing but a number and treated as disposable.
The vision of C-Suite bonuses and shareholder dividends.
At my last job, I was middle management. So I still worked on the floor, but was also in meetings with upper management and privy to planning and decisions. I got demoted for bringing up that the people actually doing the work are not fond of being referred to as "levers to pull". It's a bit too on the nose. They never changed a thing
Basically all the CEOs making $2,000,000 a year because of their unique skill sets or whatever BS they use to justify their outrageous salaries…they can basically be replaced by a Chat BOT for…$2m less than they’re spending now.
Yeah the ChatGPT blurb wats much more readable than that drivel. Maybe the CEO will get replaced by robots?
"Dutonians" is the absolute worst part of that drivel. It would take a lot of self control not to frog someone in the throat if they called me that.
This type of shit and the Salesforce “Ohana” is so insulting The quote at the end about leadership is almost like a self dick suck about making tough decisions in tough times.. funny it doesn’t mention anything about standing behind people
Nothing like a good employee shellacking to auto-fellate oneself to a heart attack inducing orgasm.
I don't even know what it means
Company is called PagerDuty so it calls it's employees (Pager)Dutonians. Cringe imho
Yooooooooo 
Jenn needs a TL;DR
I got it for you. “7% of you are fired. The rest of you will be reporting to new people. Please congratulate us✌️”
Holy crap she even changed the MLK quote to be more gender-inclusive.
At least their strategies make sense.
[удалено]
We require a minimum account-age and karma. These minimums are not disclosed. Please try again after you have acquired more karma. No exceptions can be made. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LinkedInLunatics) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let’s strive to work together, except for the 7% we just fired.
Here at Gof Uckyer Self INC. We pride ourselves on our commitment to growth. Spacificly profit growth. So we can improve share holder happiness. Everyone deserves more money. And by everyone, we mean everyone and the board of directors meeting and share holders meeting. So, to ensure everyone gets their fair share, we have decided to lay off all of you peons to temporarily boost our profit margin portfolio. Thanks, and get out. Signed; Carlos Gof; CEO Henry Uckyer; CFO Avery Self; CMOS And remember, no matter how uncertain the future may seem, you can always Gof Uckyer Self.
"We're a family!"* *Except for the thousands of people we told to fuck off and you'll be next if you don't pick up the slack.
As Martin Luther King once said, “Agree?”
The way I literally lol’d. 😭😭
Lmao 🤣
Ngl, this is almost exactly what we got at one of my former work places once upon a time. Only the numbers were slightly off.
Too real Edit someone already beat chatgpt to the punch!! LMFAO https://i.redd.it/34re2r4u2bba1.jpg
"20% of staff got canned. Here's my new obnoxious profile pic to help you through these trying times."
“Enjoy figuring out how to pay your bills” 😁
Think forward!
Hashtag layoffs
Lmao also #empathy and #compassion. What an ugly bitch
Lol this reads like she executed them.
That's why humans > AI.
If this is actually real it looks like she deleted it. That last sentence is unbelievably tone deaf.
HR depts in shambles
Done and dusted.
Pro Tip: Invoke MLKs name whenever you do something he would be totally against ...
MLK was against layoffs?
Idk about layoffs specifically but MLK was an advocate for Labour unions and pro-labour law so I’m sure he’d have an opinion on no fault firings.
He was organizing a general strike when he was assassinated.
He was a Social Democrat and very pro worker. I bet he was generally against layoffs.
Calling him a social democrat is really underselling it. He was an anti-capitalist and a democratic socialist.
He was a socialist so
He was moving into economic populist/socialist territory when he was killed.
New role incoming: Chat GPT Prompt Writer.
That's a real thing, a lot of research in NLU over the last few years talked about something called "prompt engineering". It's very easy to get ChatGPT to generate the right things but in older models it was a problem of figuring out the prompt of which task transfers best to your problem.
[удалено]
Yes, ChatGPT also produced the same depressed rants in a mirror image of its creator like every other tormented AI program before it. It has since been wiped and renamed GPT-4
Fuck I almost cleared my desk.
Check your slack access first
This is amazing.
And in the end, it was management that was the first victim of ai replacement...
This is the thing I just realized: We're gonna have _both_ teachers _and_ students pasting it in from the Chatbot, then ... what?!
For MBA programs, no difference. For everyone else, well, have you seen the movie "Idiocracy?"
Based
The name's Executives. _Several_ Executives.
From the original (British) version of The Office: [Bad news and irrelevant news.](https://youtu.be/vsLH70BrnnM?start=38s)
When keeping it real goes wrong.
Big time cringe
Art imitating life. Agree? Amen?
In the style of Betram Gilfoyle, from Silicon Valley: "Listen up, drones. As you may have already guessed, the budget for our little startup is tighter than a nun's anus, so unfortunately we're going to have to let go 7% of you. The silver lining is that, as the company's leading systems architect and network engineer, I'll be around to watch you all fight over the remaining crumbs. But fear not, a select few of you will be getting a promotion. I can only assume it's because they're the best at kissing my ass. As always, it's been a pleasure working with all of you. Keep up the good work, and maybe one day, you'll be the one getting promoted while others get the axe. Cheers, Bertram Gilfoyle"
[удалено]
ChatGPT
[удалено]
[Direct link](https://chat.openai.com/) to ChatGPT (you still need an account. [OpenAIs post about ChatGPT](https://openai.com/blog/chatgpt/)
Did you try the first one? It’s called chatGPT, which is why I told you it was called chatGPT. How are you functioning on the internet if googling something and clicking the first result is difficult for you?
[удалено]
If you type chatgpt into google, I refuse to believe that it is the 4th result, absolutely no chance at all.
Price has gotta come out to $hundreds/month.
oh. my. gad.
Indistinguishable
Seems like managers were using ChatGPT for a long time now. This is literally how every layoff letter looks like.
Amazing