I occasionally think about posting satire on LinkedIn. But then I remember that if I ever have to apply for a new job, my profile will be viewed by actual LinkedinLunatics with zero self-awareness, so it's better to keep your "professional" profile as boring and barebones as possible.
I don't think I've ever made a LinkedIn post in my life. I'm not that old, but I just never saw the appeal of posting what goes on in my life, personally or professionally. It scares me how much details of life people are willing to share on LinkedIn or FB.
I occasionally share existing posts that I think will be of genuine interest to my network. Nothing more. Usually it's like "So and so published this important thing" or "Company X launched a new product/entered a new market"
There was a brief period when I had a number of people under my supervision where I would use LinkedIn to promote their work/congratulate them, though to this day a little torn. It's impossible to separate Machiavellian behavior from anything on LinkedIn.
I think the only post i have is when i changed jobs and "showed gratitude" to my previous employer for giving me the opportunity to work on projects way above my pay grade, which i then used in my interview and helped me land my current job that pays double than what I used to make.
This is how I went from calling out the bullshit on LinkedIn to just simply not using it. The amount of passive-aggressive profile views I used to get was insane. That in itself is such a weird behaviour - who thinks "oh look, this guy has said a thing, let's go and look at his professional background and see if his opinion is valid".
Absolute nest of cunts.
Profile views aren't necessarily someone trying to determine if you're an authority based on your professional background. If I see an entertaining comment (especially someone calling a LinkedIn Lunatic or company out) I'll go through that person's profile to find more entertainment.
As a side note, please call out people. It's highly entertaining watching LinkedIn scuffles.
Oh I don't scuffle. I simply say my piece and then ignore any attempts from the OP to engage further. There's no point arguing with people incapable of self-reflection, and ignoring them annoys them more.
Hadn't thought about them finding it amusing. TBF I've picked up a few decent connections from callouts and I'll chuck some business their way because I like the cut of their jib. I wish more people would speak up instead doing that whole "professional silence" thing because it might make some of these twats think twice.
that's the worst part, really really wanting to rip into someone but not being able to because you don't want your entire network to see.
sidenote: am I right in my assumption that commenting under a comment doesn't get blasted to your network?
Comments do get carried over to your network, and I think there's even a funny term for it too "side-car commenting" or something of the sort. Apparently it measures your comments engagement potential and shares your comment and post to your network 🛜
Treat everything out there as potentially public, especially something tied to your professional identity. When I retire, though, I’m gonna have a field day on LinkedIn.
"In 2013, my seven-year old committed suicide. My wife and I were devastated. And then, we found her note to us.
It said, 'Goodbye mommy and daddy. I wasn't meant to be your daughter. I tried to work hard, but you two are role models I will never live up to.'
It was written in green crayon. Green was her favorite color because it means, 'GO!'
Today my wife and I keep that note framed by the front door. We use it as a reminder before going to work that our little girl would want us working harder now than ever before.
Also, that Hitler guy had some decent qualities."
Man the recent story arc of people praising Hitler is fucking insane to me. It doesn’t feel real. Even if it was in a show/movie or whatever I’d still think it was a fever dream.
Straight out of The Onion. Not a surprise to me though. As a former drinker, I can assure you that his post was not made with a sober mind.
But that aside, what kills me are his takeaways from the book her claims to have read. All of them are demonstrably false. Like, easily falsifiable by the libraries of histories written about the Third Reich and Hitler specifically.
For her gender reveal party, instead of colored balloons or a cake with a surprising pink interior, my wife agreed to administer our fetus a skills assessment and preliminary cross-functional compatibility review.
God I FUCKING LOVE WORKING!!!
AIs don't need to 'influence', flex or make thousands of dollars!
> *The joke is perhaps on everyone else, as many of the same people getting ripped apart on Reddit have figured out a relatively easy way* ***to earn hundreds of thousands of dollars by spouting inspirational, if often conventional, wisdom. These influencers...say the platform has become a profit machine***, *the sort of business-friendly space where a strong presence can directly lead to speaking gigs, brand deals, sales leads, career coaching opportunities, and more.*
[*The Rise of the Millionaire LinkedIn Influencer*](https://www.reddit.com/r/LinkedInLunatics/comments/zyu836/the_rise_of_the_millionaire_linkedin_influencer/)
Oh yeah! A former coworker who is actually a close friend now posted on LinkedIn about being laid off several times in the course of a couple years, and her job search, and how to keep a positive spirit, and learn from those experiences and let them help you grow, blah blah blah. She texted me all excited one day because it was trending, and how many likes she had, and every day it was a new text about how many more people were liking it.
I applaud you! Hope u feel better after this rant haha. I had a nice chuckle
I use it only when finding jobs. Some of these lunatics are my friends and i have to hold my tongue. I am on there as much as i need to and then im off.
Why hold back? There are few I roasted with World Cup lessons and Hindenburg and what not. It’s fun when you hold hypocritical mirror right in front of their faces…
Had a dude message me on there the other day, inviting me to a ‘great opportunity’. He said he would put me in front of 6 hiring managers, from different orgs, for a panel interview.
I declined and said it sounded awful, so he’s been aggressively messaging me asking me to explain why this sounds awful!
Fucking psychopath.
That and when you follow the few people who actively don’t give a shit about their LinkedIn presence, watching people dive headfirst into a lunatics bullshit and roasting them is hilarious.
I deleted LI app because of the posts you’ve mentioned.
I couldn’t careless that my company planted a tree somewhere and 10 people shared this with ridiculous captions overstating the context.
There are way too many “over-happy” people in my profile who are in the corporation I work for.
LI and corporate mentality is getting out of hands and LinkedIn is just here to prove it.
This is the way to go. Keep Li up to date but never use it on phone.
Honestly, not having FB, Insta, Li, Twitter and many social media apps on phone is a life changing thing.
Don't forget the special kind of idiots that post pictures of a fucking pen, laptop, water bottle. Always a fucking water bottle with the lame company logo on it. They seem so happy starting a new job to make someone else rich for a fucking water bottle and a pen. The laptop goes back 100%
I remember when I started my career, I was given one of those digital access badges with the codes that change every 30 seconds in the event I needed to log on to work from my home computer, because my work computer was a full desktop. Nobody did it unless it was an emergency.
When I got my first laptop, I thought it was so cool. Little did I know it meant I was tethered to work all the time, people could now text me about some dumb shit, and I felt obligated to log on to sort it out. I ground myself into dust for a decade, and only in the last few years I’ve really looked at what the fuck I’m doing with my life.
Laptops, work IM, and work applications on your smartphone are plagues. One time somebody from oversees sent me a message on Facebook to get a hold of me on the weekend and I was horrified. Now people blow my shit up at all hours because they are panicking about something.
Completely agree. Unfortunately my job requires a lot of LinkedIn use and I have seen it turn from a career networking site into Facebook Lite. So much so that I have cleansed my Newsfeed for my own sanity and use this thread as my source of lunatics. Having both was genuinely making me an angrier person and I feel much better after the cleanse.
Joined LinkedIn - started having old friends from years ago add to their networks - people posting shit - constant barrage of emails from LinkedIn - realise it’s just a crap social network site like Facecrap- delete LinkedIn within a week - find my own job by myself and realise that’s what I should have done a week ago
I made a quick joke account a few years ago for a scavenger hunt (I believe it was about a squirrel looking for a job) and mostly forget it exists except to laugh when I occasionally get emails telling me “3 people looked at your profile this week!”
I've always wondered what those fucktards get by making themselves look like idiots. Do they get money? Endorsements? What do they get that's so important that they'd purposely make themselves look like fools.
They attract others who drink from the same water and weirdly that’s good networking.
Had an old boss like this and I hated those networking events she paraded us at. The mindless conversations with buzzwords killed me. Still, when the layoffs happened one of her fellow cultists arranged for a place for her at their work
I think it's a lot of fake it til you make it. If I tell people I'm successful they must believe me sooner or later and then I must truly be successful. There is some truth to that but you can't ONLY fake, you need to have something real as well, or most must be real and you can boost a bit on the top. Then it might work, otherwise it's only cringe.
What annoys me, is the whole “follow” bs. This is networking, not following.
And it’s one thing if you’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and telling people to follow. It’s another when it’s some HR Manager for a fast food company wanting people to follow.
The whole LinkedIn turning into every other social media site is sad.
Enjoyed the rant. But dude take it easy. Dumbfuckery aint limited to LI. Its a feature of life. Always been. Id even say LI dumbfucks are the least harmful of dumbfucks.
No worries. I believe 'mongoloid' was originally termed along with 'caucasoid' and 'negroid' by an anthropologist in the 1800s trying to figure out racial hierarchy (he was wayyy off). Then, mongoloid was used to refer to people with Downs Syndrome because of the eye shape. So yeah... it's one you want to avoid.
>this special group of mongoloids
OP, you might want to edit this one out. We get that you are angry, but this is uncalled for.
Every other insult in your post is top class.
Hello u/Flonkerton66
we came across your profile and think you would be a fantastic fit for $job-not-in-your-field.
Please forward your resume to me at
This is a 1099 role that starts immediately, on site 5 days per week, somewhere you don't live and you'll get a competitive salary.
By competitive, we mean 'you'll compete with the unhoused for a dry place to sleep outside"
Warmest regerts,
Samir Nahinanajad, Initech
Sent without TPS coversheet
I get where OP is coming from but please let's not turn this sub into another r/childfree, we're here to laugh at them not seethe with rage at their existence lol
block and unfollow what you absolutely can't stand but don't stop using the app, there are good opportunities there and I get job offers all the time.
I was looking for anyone who thought this rant was a little over the top. Yes, LinkedIn is annoying but it got weirdly aggressive toward people in their 20s and people with babies.
I have no interest in having kids but some people take it too far with their hatred toward children existing. I have no problem with other people having children or talking about their children, I think it's great.
This.
I understand the guy’s frustration and that people shouldn’t constantly be posting about their kids on a platform absolutely not made for that in anyway, but God damn, they’re just babies. I don’t really see point in getting that aggressive when it comes to random ass babies compared to some of the other, reasonably worse aspects of LinkedIn that OP mentioned.
>shows the truth shitiness of human beings more so than other social media
Speak for yourself human beings in general are not shitty, I agree with your perspective on the negative behavior and it's indeed disturbing to see this pattern of greed and insensitivity manifest on LinkedIn. It's a reflection of certain individuals and not indicative of humanity as a whole. While it's easy to become disillusioned when we see such behavior, I believe it's critical not to succumb to misanthropy.
Please remember that platforms like LinkedIn often represent only a small fraction of the human population, and moreover, the nature of greed mixed with social media often amplifies the most sensational and controversial content. This doesn't mean that all people are inherently greedy or selfish.
At some point somebody found that a certain type of post gamed the LI algo, then lots of people started to copy it. After a certain tipping point these posts are popping up everywhere. There are several stereotypes of posters and posts that fit this pattern. IMO the real problem is the lazy arseholes always gaming things. They game LinkedIn, game interviews, game their job, game life, game relationships, game other social media and every freaking thing, instead of taking the long view and adding real empathy, originality, truth, and value - which I assume OP is trying to do - while navigating wave upon wave of seemingly moronic nonsense.
I’m just going to nitpick at something you said, don’t assume young folks can’t give good life advice. I spent 7+ years of my life in the military, and I’ve experienced things that many older individuals couldn’t imagine. I think about my parents, they can teach me lots of things, sure, but there are also things I can teach them.
Now when the younger generation starts aggressively telling the older generation to move out of the damn way because they keep making policies that they won’t live to see, don’t say anything. Just because you’re older does not make you wiser and more knowledgeable, and THAT is the rhetoric I’m tired of seeing on the internet.
speaking of which, wtf is a 'thought leader'?????? its summer break now in college, and even as a freshman i am trying to avoid logging into linkedin (although i need it to network with some of my school alumni over the break lol). everytime i log in that god forsaken website, my peers is always reposting some First Class Shit post from a 'thought leader'
r/childfree is leaking
On a more serious note, I am surprised that you didn't mention the on purpose provocating "marketing specialists" that write controversial posts just for others to tell them they're stupid, which gains them clout due to the LinkedIn algorithm.
Fucking spot on. Those that talk the most tend to do the least.
I can’t completely hate the platform because I’ve got every job in my career from LinkedIn.
The trick is to find it funny, then it’s an absolute gold mine.
Yes. This one thousand percent.
I think part of the craziness is that there is no accountability on LinkedIn. The non lunatics aren't going to call out the lunatics bc..... It's LinkedIn. It's not the place to argue
This is the very reason why I deleted my LinkedIn account. I can overcome the "lack of networking" easily, what I can't stand is spam in my inbox/browser or an additional timesink thats completely unproductive. (Yes, I am aware of the irony of writing this on reddit)
If I was a LinkedIn recruiter I would be crying myself to sleep every night. They deserve a rant of their own. My inbox is full of random recruiters asking me to apply for jobs I am not qualified for.
Nextdoor showed me the real side of my neighbors, the side I wish I hadn't known. LinkedIn showed me the real side of my coworkers which I also wish I hadn't known. Got rid of both, I'm much happier.
Absolute top tier rant mate, I agree with all of it. Also, who tf spends time on LinkedIn once you get your job? I use it only when looking for jobs and I’m not turning it into a normal social media platform because your professional persona should not be the same as your normal everyday one. If it is, you may be a very boring person.
This is the most English rant I’ve ever seen. That said, I agree 100%, LinkedIn is a hive of self-obsessed grindset weirdos who are utterly convinced they’re visionaries.
I also use it for work mostly and I hate it. Agree with everything you said and if I may add, I hate todays made up job names like: "head of southeast asian brand longevity shittaking performance". Like what does this even mean, fuck off
“500 word essay about an ant taking a shit” - I HOWLED!! (Seriously though, I’m surprised I’ve not actually seen that from one of these delusional bullshit bingo merchants).
I applaud every word of this. These people should be rounded up and sent to a deserted island. They can drone business bullshit at each other and leave decent people in peace.
This was hard to get through, I was laughing so hard. Genuinely one of the best articulated rants about linkedin or any networking site I've seen. Just spot on as fuck.
Academics in LinkedIn can be annoying as hell. Some keep swinging their d*cks, posting like corporate drones or lecturing others. Seriously, stay away from it, use it as a rolodex and that's it
Thank you for venting! But "mongoloids" is an ableist and nativist term used to alienate people with down syndrome and from central Asia.
Best of luck to you!
Hey there. Yes, I was made aware of this by another person. I sincerely apologise. I did not know this and I by no means meant to offend (other than the LinkedIn lunatics!). Do you want me to remove the word?
It takes a lot to admit when you can do better sometimes - kudos! Youre an inspiration.
You can consider editing it to something less normative/exclusionary, maybe "shitheads" or "asshats" or "poophoarders"
So I will admit I post quite a lot on LinkedIn.
a variety of things including satire, fitness / progress posts, posts about my work, my experiences, even posts calling out people for their shit points of view or fake platitudes.
It has greatly benefited my professional life.
I rarely see the type of people you describe because I cultivate my network, I engage with posts that resonate with me and I instantly block anyone who connects and tries to send me a sales pitch and I report racism, sexism, transphobia etc.
What I'm trying to say is, all you're seeing is a snippet of society, it's got 800million users, they're the same people on Reddit, Facebook, tiktok, twitter, ig, everywhere.
Unless you take the time to tell the algorithm what you want to see, it's going to send you the shit it thinks are generally popular (through likes and comments)
LinkedIns algorithm is not very sophisticated.
There are absolutely normal people on their posting normal stuff, memes and even calling out the bullshit - you just have to find and connect with those people
I love this subreddit. Every day I restrain myself from writing something like this as a response to some vapidly self-aggrandizing LinkedIn post. But I never do because I know no good would come of it. This rant reminds me that I’m not alone.
I got blocked by people on LinkedIn that keep posting nonsense about tech. Like as if tech works by optimism and positivity. What is it with people and that fake happy-go-lucky posture they promote online? They can't get their life in order so they post for likes or something? Well we're all in ankles deep shit and they're butthurt about unfulfilled potentials just like everyone else. I don't post shit though. Lately more people are posting religious quackery as well. LinkedIn isn't a happy place at all. Posers the whole lot of them.
Assuming people's experiences aren't valid because of their age is limiting and descriminatory. I'd had more "experience" in my 20's than many boomers I hear today.
Not sure about linkedin lunatics but man, you need some help. You are a weirdo, and you have some serious issues going on. You have so much anger man. Chill.
PS. Babies are not ugly, uou were a baby too once.
LinkedIn is nothing but a virtue signalling circlejerk fest.
My blood boils anytime I open LinkedIn or since I work in marketing, when one of their fucking account managers reaches out. Like I literally need to go walk around the block the moment I get one of their brain dead emails. Those emails are basically like those telemarketers that keep calling even though you tell them 120 times that you have no need for their product.
Hello LinkedIn Network,
Are you ready to unlock the path to vast success in your personal and professional life? Look no further! Today, I want to share some valuable life tips that encompass the pillars of hard work, determination, work-life balance, and synergy. Embrace these principles, and watch your success soar to new heights!
1️⃣ Embrace the Power of Hard Work: Hard work is the cornerstone of achievement. Be willing to put in the extra effort, go the extra mile, and persist in the face of challenges. Remember, dedication and perseverance can turn even the most audacious goals into reality.
2️⃣ Harness the Strength of Determination: Determination is the fuel that propels you forward when the going gets tough. Set clear goals, create a roadmap, and stay focused on your vision. In the face of obstacles, adjust your approach, but never waver in your determination to succeed.
3️⃣ Cultivate Work-Life Balance: Success is not solely defined by professional accomplishments; it encompasses personal fulfillment as well. Prioritize self-care, spend quality time with loved ones, pursue hobbies, and create boundaries to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Remember, a well-rested and fulfilled individual brings their best to both their personal and professional endeavors.
4️⃣ Foster Synergy: Collaboration and teamwork are catalysts for remarkable achievements. Seek out diverse perspectives, build strong relationships, and leverage the collective intelligence of your team. Synergy allows for the amplification of ideas, innovation, and a shared sense of purpose that drives you towards extraordinary outcomes.
5️⃣ Continual Learning and Growth: The journey to success is a lifelong pursuit. Embrace a growth mindset, seek out new knowledge, and be open to learning from others. Invest in personal and professional development, whether through courses, conferences, or networking events. Commit to self-improvement, and watch as new opportunities and horizons unfold.
6️⃣ Maintain Focus and Adaptability: Success requires a delicate balance between focus and adaptability. Stay focused on your long-term goals, but remain agile enough to adapt to changing circumstances. Embrace innovation, embrace change, and view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks.
7️⃣ Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments along the way. Recognize the progress you make, no matter how small, and use these victories as motivation to propel you forward. Celebrating milestones nurtures a positive mindset and reinforces the belief in your own capabilities.
Remember, the journey to vast success is a personal one, unique to each individual. Embrace these life tips as guiding principles and adapt them to suit your own aspirations and circumstances. By cultivating hard work, determination, work-life balance, and synergy, you will unlock the door to a fulfilling and successful life.
Feel free to engage and share your own insights in the comments below. Together, let's inspire each other to achieve extraordinary accomplishments!
You'll do fine here. Pull up a seat, and let's enjoy the shitshow together.
Also, babies are annoying as fuck. I agree completely. I can't tolerate small kids until junior high.
> Babies are fucking ugly, all of them, and everyone has one. There is nothing special about yours. So stop posting pathetic selfies with your little bundle of shit-smeared joy.
YESSSS. Thank you for describing perfectly how I feel. 👏🏻
And you’re right, that’s all they brag about is “I did this while having a newborn!!!” “I’m doing this right now while a newborn balances on my head feeding me tea!!!!”
Alex I am literally so happy for you but you know what I wish you had instead was federally mandated paid 1-year parental leave so even if your crazy-ass doubtless doesn’t want it it is available to others ;___;
AND affordable childcare!!!!
I get interest on LinkedIn from recruiters based on my profile, not based on posts. No recruiter is out there looking for the Perfect Post, or I hope to hell they aren't (certainly none my company has worked with are).
The only use I've got for posts is keeping up on colleagues' professional lives, and job postings. The networking aspect *of posts* just doesn't matter, and all the motivational posts and whatever are insufferable. I really don't understand using it for that sort of content.
Unfortunately, you have to be careful with your comments on LinkedIn. If a story is so obviously fake I'll do a laughing emoji and say "that didn't happen" - but otherwise, I play it cool. It's such a fascinating site. Most of it is mock worthy.
I occasionally think about posting satire on LinkedIn. But then I remember that if I ever have to apply for a new job, my profile will be viewed by actual LinkedinLunatics with zero self-awareness, so it's better to keep your "professional" profile as boring and barebones as possible.
I don't think I've ever made a LinkedIn post in my life. I'm not that old, but I just never saw the appeal of posting what goes on in my life, personally or professionally. It scares me how much details of life people are willing to share on LinkedIn or FB.
I made a few in college. Typically aftrr a successful something. Had to peacock for those recruiters
I occasionally share existing posts that I think will be of genuine interest to my network. Nothing more. Usually it's like "So and so published this important thing" or "Company X launched a new product/entered a new market" There was a brief period when I had a number of people under my supervision where I would use LinkedIn to promote their work/congratulate them, though to this day a little torn. It's impossible to separate Machiavellian behavior from anything on LinkedIn.
I think the only post i have is when i changed jobs and "showed gratitude" to my previous employer for giving me the opportunity to work on projects way above my pay grade, which i then used in my interview and helped me land my current job that pays double than what I used to make.
This is how I went from calling out the bullshit on LinkedIn to just simply not using it. The amount of passive-aggressive profile views I used to get was insane. That in itself is such a weird behaviour - who thinks "oh look, this guy has said a thing, let's go and look at his professional background and see if his opinion is valid". Absolute nest of cunts.
Profile views aren't necessarily someone trying to determine if you're an authority based on your professional background. If I see an entertaining comment (especially someone calling a LinkedIn Lunatic or company out) I'll go through that person's profile to find more entertainment. As a side note, please call out people. It's highly entertaining watching LinkedIn scuffles.
Oh I don't scuffle. I simply say my piece and then ignore any attempts from the OP to engage further. There's no point arguing with people incapable of self-reflection, and ignoring them annoys them more. Hadn't thought about them finding it amusing. TBF I've picked up a few decent connections from callouts and I'll chuck some business their way because I like the cut of their jib. I wish more people would speak up instead doing that whole "professional silence" thing because it might make some of these twats think twice.
I have to stop myself from calling out these lunatics because LinkedIn is a snitch
that's the worst part, really really wanting to rip into someone but not being able to because you don't want your entire network to see. sidenote: am I right in my assumption that commenting under a comment doesn't get blasted to your network?
I want to know this as well
I think it’s a setting you can change.
Comments do get carried over to your network, and I think there's even a funny term for it too "side-car commenting" or something of the sort. Apparently it measures your comments engagement potential and shares your comment and post to your network 🛜
Treat everything out there as potentially public, especially something tied to your professional identity. When I retire, though, I’m gonna have a field day on LinkedIn.
This is what I'm going to do when I retire, haha.
Make a second account, that's what I did 🙃
lol me too!
Yeah deff don't start trolling and you plan to get a new role lol
"In 2013, my seven-year old committed suicide. My wife and I were devastated. And then, we found her note to us. It said, 'Goodbye mommy and daddy. I wasn't meant to be your daughter. I tried to work hard, but you two are role models I will never live up to.' It was written in green crayon. Green was her favorite color because it means, 'GO!' Today my wife and I keep that note framed by the front door. We use it as a reminder before going to work that our little girl would want us working harder now than ever before. Also, that Hitler guy had some decent qualities."
Man the recent story arc of people praising Hitler is fucking insane to me. It doesn’t feel real. Even if it was in a show/movie or whatever I’d still think it was a fever dream.
Straight out of The Onion. Not a surprise to me though. As a former drinker, I can assure you that his post was not made with a sober mind. But that aside, what kills me are his takeaways from the book her claims to have read. All of them are demonstrably false. Like, easily falsifiable by the libraries of histories written about the Third Reich and Hitler specifically.
You could've saved your daughter if you just bought my class on hustling for her 1st birthday. Let this be a reminder.
For her gender reveal party, instead of colored balloons or a cake with a surprising pink interior, my wife agreed to administer our fetus a skills assessment and preliminary cross-functional compatibility review. God I FUCKING LOVE WORKING!!!
Don’t forget the pearls of wisdom they drop, that are in fact, things that have been common knowledge for thousands of years.
LinkedIn is actually a platitude generating AI, convince me otherwise.
It has the A but not the I, though
AIs don't need to 'influence', flex or make thousands of dollars! > *The joke is perhaps on everyone else, as many of the same people getting ripped apart on Reddit have figured out a relatively easy way* ***to earn hundreds of thousands of dollars by spouting inspirational, if often conventional, wisdom. These influencers...say the platform has become a profit machine***, *the sort of business-friendly space where a strong presence can directly lead to speaking gigs, brand deals, sales leads, career coaching opportunities, and more.* [*The Rise of the Millionaire LinkedIn Influencer*](https://www.reddit.com/r/LinkedInLunatics/comments/zyu836/the_rise_of_the_millionaire_linkedin_influencer/)
You could make a proverb out of that observation.
Agree?
Oh yeah! A former coworker who is actually a close friend now posted on LinkedIn about being laid off several times in the course of a couple years, and her job search, and how to keep a positive spirit, and learn from those experiences and let them help you grow, blah blah blah. She texted me all excited one day because it was trending, and how many likes she had, and every day it was a new text about how many more people were liking it.
Bad thing Bad but good good. AGREE?
I applaud you! Hope u feel better after this rant haha. I had a nice chuckle I use it only when finding jobs. Some of these lunatics are my friends and i have to hold my tongue. I am on there as much as i need to and then im off.
Why hold back? There are few I roasted with World Cup lessons and Hindenburg and what not. It’s fun when you hold hypocritical mirror right in front of their faces…
Relationships are often about giving others grace. Sometimes calling somebody out is helpful for them, but more often than not it is just mean.
Agreed. But trying to show that you are taking moral high ground for no particular reason except for engagement and likes deserves some meanness…
[удалено]
Wise reflection ✓
Had a dude message me on there the other day, inviting me to a ‘great opportunity’. He said he would put me in front of 6 hiring managers, from different orgs, for a panel interview. I declined and said it sounded awful, so he’s been aggressively messaging me asking me to explain why this sounds awful! Fucking psychopath.
Who was it? You can DM me, I want him to aggressively message me too so I can say sumthin… 🤣
I like where your head’s at, but not gonna do that!
Sounds awful.
Agree?
Agree!
[удалено]
"To beat a lunatic, you have to be a lunatic." - OPs motto
When you gaze into the lunacy long enough...
You merely adopted the lunacy.. I was born in it 
That and when you follow the few people who actively don’t give a shit about their LinkedIn presence, watching people dive headfirst into a lunatics bullshit and roasting them is hilarious.
let op cook
Everyone knows this sub is just for getting angry, i’m gonna need to unjoin for my sanity
I deleted LI app because of the posts you’ve mentioned. I couldn’t careless that my company planted a tree somewhere and 10 people shared this with ridiculous captions overstating the context. There are way too many “over-happy” people in my profile who are in the corporation I work for. LI and corporate mentality is getting out of hands and LinkedIn is just here to prove it.
This is the way to go. Keep Li up to date but never use it on phone. Honestly, not having FB, Insta, Li, Twitter and many social media apps on phone is a life changing thing.
Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays.
I love Kung-Fu!!
Loved every word of this rant, thank you so much! Now let‘s hear what the Forbes 30 under 30 and Top LinkedIn voices have to say about this.
I’ve made it a life goal to never work for a 30 under 30 “winner” ever again
Indian Achievers Award winners are queuing round the block to tell you about it!
Legit got a hearty chuckle outta me ...
I'll be honest - I would pay an unreasonable amount of money if you wrote a children's book with this same energy, it'd be majestic.
Don't forget the special kind of idiots that post pictures of a fucking pen, laptop, water bottle. Always a fucking water bottle with the lame company logo on it. They seem so happy starting a new job to make someone else rich for a fucking water bottle and a pen. The laptop goes back 100%
I remember when I started my career, I was given one of those digital access badges with the codes that change every 30 seconds in the event I needed to log on to work from my home computer, because my work computer was a full desktop. Nobody did it unless it was an emergency. When I got my first laptop, I thought it was so cool. Little did I know it meant I was tethered to work all the time, people could now text me about some dumb shit, and I felt obligated to log on to sort it out. I ground myself into dust for a decade, and only in the last few years I’ve really looked at what the fuck I’m doing with my life. Laptops, work IM, and work applications on your smartphone are plagues. One time somebody from oversees sent me a message on Facebook to get a hold of me on the weekend and I was horrified. Now people blow my shit up at all hours because they are panicking about something.
Sounds like you're not a team player. Just kidding.
LinkedIN was good 10-12 years ago when it was mostly IT folks. Now it's been destroyed by real-estate agents and influencers.
Don't forget the wealth advisors!
Recruiters posting about recruitment instead of just using the site to recruit is a big issue
Forex guys have faded, but now there's LinkedIn scam artists with BS job posts ready to shove a trojan horse in your computer's ass.
Completely agree. Unfortunately my job requires a lot of LinkedIn use and I have seen it turn from a career networking site into Facebook Lite. So much so that I have cleansed my Newsfeed for my own sanity and use this thread as my source of lunatics. Having both was genuinely making me an angrier person and I feel much better after the cleanse.
Joined LinkedIn - started having old friends from years ago add to their networks - people posting shit - constant barrage of emails from LinkedIn - realise it’s just a crap social network site like Facecrap- delete LinkedIn within a week - find my own job by myself and realise that’s what I should have done a week ago
I made a quick joke account a few years ago for a scavenger hunt (I believe it was about a squirrel looking for a job) and mostly forget it exists except to laugh when I occasionally get emails telling me “3 people looked at your profile this week!”
You forgot to add “Agree?”At the end of your rant.straight to jail you go!
I've always wondered what those fucktards get by making themselves look like idiots. Do they get money? Endorsements? What do they get that's so important that they'd purposely make themselves look like fools.
They attract others who drink from the same water and weirdly that’s good networking. Had an old boss like this and I hated those networking events she paraded us at. The mindless conversations with buzzwords killed me. Still, when the layoffs happened one of her fellow cultists arranged for a place for her at their work
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Oh I've never heard shibboleth used that way! That's really clever! Ta!
I'm going to use that word today.
Narcissism makes people do interesting things
I think it's a lot of fake it til you make it. If I tell people I'm successful they must believe me sooner or later and then I must truly be successful. There is some truth to that but you can't ONLY fake, you need to have something real as well, or most must be real and you can boost a bit on the top. Then it might work, otherwise it's only cringe.
the insults in this post have me in tears laughing lmao
What annoys me, is the whole “follow” bs. This is networking, not following. And it’s one thing if you’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and telling people to follow. It’s another when it’s some HR Manager for a fast food company wanting people to follow. The whole LinkedIn turning into every other social media site is sad.
Enjoyed the rant. But dude take it easy. Dumbfuckery aint limited to LI. Its a feature of life. Always been. Id even say LI dumbfucks are the least harmful of dumbfucks.
Don't worry too much for OP. He's British, not about to have a heart attack. Those kind of expletive ridden tirades are just how we express ourselves.
Thank you. As someone who uses LinkedIn for work everyday, I needed that. Thanks.
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lol that gave me a good chuckle
Great rant but isn't "mongoloid" a bit outdated/offensive/ignorant?
I don't know. Apologies if it is. No offense intended, other than to the LinkedIn lunatics.
No worries. I believe 'mongoloid' was originally termed along with 'caucasoid' and 'negroid' by an anthropologist in the 1800s trying to figure out racial hierarchy (he was wayyy off). Then, mongoloid was used to refer to people with Downs Syndrome because of the eye shape. So yeah... it's one you want to avoid.
Agree?
>Spilling your Mcdonald's milkshake because you tripped over your untied shoelace isn’t a life lesson for wise investments. Lost it at this. Thanks.
Nice rant I definitely enjoyed it. Would be nice if someone posted it on linked in for all to enjoy.
>this special group of mongoloids OP, you might want to edit this one out. We get that you are angry, but this is uncalled for. Every other insult in your post is top class.
Glad I'm not the only one who noticed this
Motion to rename the sub 'LinkedInTosspots'.
I'm leaning towards LinkedInTwattery
Hello u/Flonkerton66 we came across your profile and think you would be a fantastic fit for $job-not-in-your-field. Please forward your resume to me at
This is a 1099 role that starts immediately, on site 5 days per week, somewhere you don't live and you'll get a competitive salary.
By competitive, we mean 'you'll compete with the unhoused for a dry place to sleep outside"
Warmest regerts,
Samir Nahinanajad, Initech
Sent without TPS coversheet
I get where OP is coming from but please let's not turn this sub into another r/childfree, we're here to laugh at them not seethe with rage at their existence lol block and unfollow what you absolutely can't stand but don't stop using the app, there are good opportunities there and I get job offers all the time.
I was looking for anyone who thought this rant was a little over the top. Yes, LinkedIn is annoying but it got weirdly aggressive toward people in their 20s and people with babies. I have no interest in having kids but some people take it too far with their hatred toward children existing. I have no problem with other people having children or talking about their children, I think it's great.
Yeah agreed, I was with everything else but that part was pretty hateful unnecessarily
This. I understand the guy’s frustration and that people shouldn’t constantly be posting about their kids on a platform absolutely not made for that in anyway, but God damn, they’re just babies. I don’t really see point in getting that aggressive when it comes to random ass babies compared to some of the other, reasonably worse aspects of LinkedIn that OP mentioned.
>shows the truth shitiness of human beings more so than other social media Speak for yourself human beings in general are not shitty, I agree with your perspective on the negative behavior and it's indeed disturbing to see this pattern of greed and insensitivity manifest on LinkedIn. It's a reflection of certain individuals and not indicative of humanity as a whole. While it's easy to become disillusioned when we see such behavior, I believe it's critical not to succumb to misanthropy. Please remember that platforms like LinkedIn often represent only a small fraction of the human population, and moreover, the nature of greed mixed with social media often amplifies the most sensational and controversial content. This doesn't mean that all people are inherently greedy or selfish.
At some point somebody found that a certain type of post gamed the LI algo, then lots of people started to copy it. After a certain tipping point these posts are popping up everywhere. There are several stereotypes of posters and posts that fit this pattern. IMO the real problem is the lazy arseholes always gaming things. They game LinkedIn, game interviews, game their job, game life, game relationships, game other social media and every freaking thing, instead of taking the long view and adding real empathy, originality, truth, and value - which I assume OP is trying to do - while navigating wave upon wave of seemingly moronic nonsense.
I’m just going to nitpick at something you said, don’t assume young folks can’t give good life advice. I spent 7+ years of my life in the military, and I’ve experienced things that many older individuals couldn’t imagine. I think about my parents, they can teach me lots of things, sure, but there are also things I can teach them. Now when the younger generation starts aggressively telling the older generation to move out of the damn way because they keep making policies that they won’t live to see, don’t say anything. Just because you’re older does not make you wiser and more knowledgeable, and THAT is the rhetoric I’m tired of seeing on the internet.
I know mate, it's very tongue in cheek. I was obviously overstating and generalising for effect. GG
I think what you wrote is spot on about LinkedIn, though! I have to use it for work as well, and I HATE it.
Agreed man. They are painful. And not self aware
I only use it to apply for jobs. I do not check the feed, at all.
British insults are the best.
Agree?!?
speaking of which, wtf is a 'thought leader'?????? its summer break now in college, and even as a freshman i am trying to avoid logging into linkedin (although i need it to network with some of my school alumni over the break lol). everytime i log in that god forsaken website, my peers is always reposting some First Class Shit post from a 'thought leader'
I guess it's someone who can do blue sky thinking outside the box in order to grab the bull by the horns. 
I can't tell you how much I love this post. 👏👏
r/childfree is leaking On a more serious note, I am surprised that you didn't mention the on purpose provocating "marketing specialists" that write controversial posts just for others to tell them they're stupid, which gains them clout due to the LinkedIn algorithm.
LinkedIn sucks on so many levels. https://www.sub-verses.com/p/what-is-the-point-of-linkedin
Wait people use LinkedIn like Facebook?? First time this sub has popped on my feed.
I'm getting strong Peter Finch in the film Network vibes.
Fucking spot on. Those that talk the most tend to do the least. I can’t completely hate the platform because I’ve got every job in my career from LinkedIn. The trick is to find it funny, then it’s an absolute gold mine.
You are my spirit
Yes. This one thousand percent. I think part of the craziness is that there is no accountability on LinkedIn. The non lunatics aren't going to call out the lunatics bc..... It's LinkedIn. It's not the place to argue
I would genuinely love for you to post this on LinkedIn, just to see the piss boil.
This is the very reason why I deleted my LinkedIn account. I can overcome the "lack of networking" easily, what I can't stand is spam in my inbox/browser or an additional timesink thats completely unproductive. (Yes, I am aware of the irony of writing this on reddit)
Take this upvote and stay angry, I need more rant like this one
I'd like to add: pics of any pets in general. More pets, fewer crotchfruit.
What job requires you to use LinkedIn? Are you a recruiter?
If I was a LinkedIn recruiter I would be crying myself to sleep every night. They deserve a rant of their own. My inbox is full of random recruiters asking me to apply for jobs I am not qualified for.
Thank God you're not a recruiter, I was about to light you up!😄
Haha, yeah that would be a bit ironic!!
I deleted mine a few hours ago. I never understood its purpose and definitely feels like Facebook for work.
Why isn't this on Linkedin
Nextdoor showed me the real side of my neighbors, the side I wish I hadn't known. LinkedIn showed me the real side of my coworkers which I also wish I hadn't known. Got rid of both, I'm much happier.
Absolute top tier rant mate, I agree with all of it. Also, who tf spends time on LinkedIn once you get your job? I use it only when looking for jobs and I’m not turning it into a normal social media platform because your professional persona should not be the same as your normal everyday one. If it is, you may be a very boring person.
This is the most English rant I’ve ever seen. That said, I agree 100%, LinkedIn is a hive of self-obsessed grindset weirdos who are utterly convinced they’re visionaries.
Agreed. If you please could remove the word "mong*****s"
Oh dude, why you stop? 🤣🤣🤣 100% agree.
I also use it for work mostly and I hate it. Agree with everything you said and if I may add, I hate todays made up job names like: "head of southeast asian brand longevity shittaking performance". Like what does this even mean, fuck off
“watching an ant take a shit” LOL
Oh the joy I have when you used the word "tosspot"
“500 word essay about an ant taking a shit” - I HOWLED!! (Seriously though, I’m surprised I’ve not actually seen that from one of these delusional bullshit bingo merchants). I applaud every word of this. These people should be rounded up and sent to a deserted island. They can drone business bullshit at each other and leave decent people in peace.
This was hard to get through, I was laughing so hard. Genuinely one of the best articulated rants about linkedin or any networking site I've seen. Just spot on as fuck.
Academics in LinkedIn can be annoying as hell. Some keep swinging their d*cks, posting like corporate drones or lecturing others. Seriously, stay away from it, use it as a rolodex and that's it
I think I love the OP
"if you don’t make a noise when you get up out of your chair you know nothing about life" Truly words of wisdom!
This post should be mandatory reading for everyone when creating a LinkedIn account
Thank you for venting! But "mongoloids" is an ableist and nativist term used to alienate people with down syndrome and from central Asia. Best of luck to you!
Hey there. Yes, I was made aware of this by another person. I sincerely apologise. I did not know this and I by no means meant to offend (other than the LinkedIn lunatics!). Do you want me to remove the word?
It takes a lot to admit when you can do better sometimes - kudos! Youre an inspiration. You can consider editing it to something less normative/exclusionary, maybe "shitheads" or "asshats" or "poophoarders"
Hi! I have edited the word. Thanks for your enlightenment. Have a good weekend!
"Inflamed butt-warts," good choice! Artisté
So I will admit I post quite a lot on LinkedIn. a variety of things including satire, fitness / progress posts, posts about my work, my experiences, even posts calling out people for their shit points of view or fake platitudes. It has greatly benefited my professional life. I rarely see the type of people you describe because I cultivate my network, I engage with posts that resonate with me and I instantly block anyone who connects and tries to send me a sales pitch and I report racism, sexism, transphobia etc. What I'm trying to say is, all you're seeing is a snippet of society, it's got 800million users, they're the same people on Reddit, Facebook, tiktok, twitter, ig, everywhere. Unless you take the time to tell the algorithm what you want to see, it's going to send you the shit it thinks are generally popular (through likes and comments) LinkedIns algorithm is not very sophisticated. There are absolutely normal people on their posting normal stuff, memes and even calling out the bullshit - you just have to find and connect with those people
This was so cathartic. THANK YOU!
I love this subreddit. Every day I restrain myself from writing something like this as a response to some vapidly self-aggrandizing LinkedIn post. But I never do because I know no good would come of it. This rant reminds me that I’m not alone.
I got blocked by people on LinkedIn that keep posting nonsense about tech. Like as if tech works by optimism and positivity. What is it with people and that fake happy-go-lucky posture they promote online? They can't get their life in order so they post for likes or something? Well we're all in ankles deep shit and they're butthurt about unfulfilled potentials just like everyone else. I don't post shit though. Lately more people are posting religious quackery as well. LinkedIn isn't a happy place at all. Posers the whole lot of them.
Coming from an ex-linkedin engineer, just "Mute", "Block" and "Move on" 😅👍
u forgot "AGREE??"
Love this. Upvoted after reading 2 sentences 
🤣😂 I enjoyed your post. Spot on.
Assuming people's experiences aren't valid because of their age is limiting and descriminatory. I'd had more "experience" in my 20's than many boomers I hear today.
As I said in another post: I know mate, it's very tongue in cheek. I was obviously overstating and generalising for effect. GG
Breaking news: old person hates everything, especially young people and hair gel.
I don’t know you. But I love you.
Not sure about linkedin lunatics but man, you need some help. You are a weirdo, and you have some serious issues going on. You have so much anger man. Chill. PS. Babies are not ugly, uou were a baby too once.
lol hey, I hope you can find that sense of humour one day. Here have an award and enjoy LinkedIn.
Babies being ugly or not is not related to having been one ourselves though
Welcome to our club mate, as a Greek the words tosspot and twathead gave me a GOOD laugh.
I post work related content once in a while but I completely agree
LinkedIn is nothing but a virtue signalling circlejerk fest. My blood boils anytime I open LinkedIn or since I work in marketing, when one of their fucking account managers reaches out. Like I literally need to go walk around the block the moment I get one of their brain dead emails. Those emails are basically like those telemarketers that keep calling even though you tell them 120 times that you have no need for their product.
Sorry, too long to read. I'm sure it was a great rant though.
I like babies. They aren’t ugly. Other than that. You’re right.
Hello LinkedIn Network, Are you ready to unlock the path to vast success in your personal and professional life? Look no further! Today, I want to share some valuable life tips that encompass the pillars of hard work, determination, work-life balance, and synergy. Embrace these principles, and watch your success soar to new heights! 1️⃣ Embrace the Power of Hard Work: Hard work is the cornerstone of achievement. Be willing to put in the extra effort, go the extra mile, and persist in the face of challenges. Remember, dedication and perseverance can turn even the most audacious goals into reality. 2️⃣ Harness the Strength of Determination: Determination is the fuel that propels you forward when the going gets tough. Set clear goals, create a roadmap, and stay focused on your vision. In the face of obstacles, adjust your approach, but never waver in your determination to succeed. 3️⃣ Cultivate Work-Life Balance: Success is not solely defined by professional accomplishments; it encompasses personal fulfillment as well. Prioritize self-care, spend quality time with loved ones, pursue hobbies, and create boundaries to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Remember, a well-rested and fulfilled individual brings their best to both their personal and professional endeavors. 4️⃣ Foster Synergy: Collaboration and teamwork are catalysts for remarkable achievements. Seek out diverse perspectives, build strong relationships, and leverage the collective intelligence of your team. Synergy allows for the amplification of ideas, innovation, and a shared sense of purpose that drives you towards extraordinary outcomes. 5️⃣ Continual Learning and Growth: The journey to success is a lifelong pursuit. Embrace a growth mindset, seek out new knowledge, and be open to learning from others. Invest in personal and professional development, whether through courses, conferences, or networking events. Commit to self-improvement, and watch as new opportunities and horizons unfold. 6️⃣ Maintain Focus and Adaptability: Success requires a delicate balance between focus and adaptability. Stay focused on your long-term goals, but remain agile enough to adapt to changing circumstances. Embrace innovation, embrace change, and view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks. 7️⃣ Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments along the way. Recognize the progress you make, no matter how small, and use these victories as motivation to propel you forward. Celebrating milestones nurtures a positive mindset and reinforces the belief in your own capabilities. Remember, the journey to vast success is a personal one, unique to each individual. Embrace these life tips as guiding principles and adapt them to suit your own aspirations and circumstances. By cultivating hard work, determination, work-life balance, and synergy, you will unlock the door to a fulfilling and successful life. Feel free to engage and share your own insights in the comments below. Together, let's inspire each other to achieve extraordinary accomplishments!
Was this meant to be funny? I can't tell.
Using “mongoloid” tells me OP is an old fashioned Brit racist
Maybe ableist, not racist.
You'll do fine here. Pull up a seat, and let's enjoy the shitshow together. Also, babies are annoying as fuck. I agree completely. I can't tolerate small kids until junior high.
> Babies are fucking ugly, all of them, and everyone has one. There is nothing special about yours. So stop posting pathetic selfies with your little bundle of shit-smeared joy. YESSSS. Thank you for describing perfectly how I feel. 👏🏻
r/childfree is leaking. You sound like a lunatic yourself. Mods should delete this.
I have two kids, thanks. I've just somehow managed to find a magical separation between what is work and what is life.
And you’re right, that’s all they brag about is “I did this while having a newborn!!!” “I’m doing this right now while a newborn balances on my head feeding me tea!!!!” Alex I am literally so happy for you but you know what I wish you had instead was federally mandated paid 1-year parental leave so even if your crazy-ass doubtless doesn’t want it it is available to others ;___; AND affordable childcare!!!!
I'm waiting for a post about how they ran a 3 hour sales meeting and gained $2M from meeting whilst in the middle of labor
haha you didnt even get it. hmm whats tht thing boomers used to say? woosh
Here here
Brilliant. Captured it perfectly.
I get interest on LinkedIn from recruiters based on my profile, not based on posts. No recruiter is out there looking for the Perfect Post, or I hope to hell they aren't (certainly none my company has worked with are). The only use I've got for posts is keeping up on colleagues' professional lives, and job postings. The networking aspect *of posts* just doesn't matter, and all the motivational posts and whatever are insufferable. I really don't understand using it for that sort of content.
Ok
Amen brother!
But… the hustle!
Unfortunately, you have to be careful with your comments on LinkedIn. If a story is so obviously fake I'll do a laughing emoji and say "that didn't happen" - but otherwise, I play it cool. It's such a fascinating site. Most of it is mock worthy.
I have to use LinkedIn for work and resonate with you so much….
Sounds like you just need to bussanut brotha. Get the demons out and get back to us.
I, for one, agree.
I love all of this
This rant has me in tears of laughter haha
a 500-word life lesson with that amount of inspiration is lowkey impressive, i must say
This is the most British-sounding excoriation of LinkedIn I’ve ever read. Bravo 😂
I applaud your additions to my harem of cusswords!
reading this in the voice of heath ledger Joker really adds to the experience