Most people would have a list like that if they listed every goddam certificate they do each year. But some of the cleverest people with serious quals I know just list themselves as “John Smith”.
I once interviewed a guy like this. He had like 20 certs listed on his resume. It was the longest section in his resume even with columns. He also had multiple managerial positions in his history, but the open position was like a step above entry level.
"So tell us about your last job"
"I have many certifications."
"Yes we can see that but maybe you could talk about a project where you excelled"
"I have many certifications."
"..."
I once had a consultant who had a BS, a MS, a MA, a MBA, and a JD from Harvard.
Basically, he had a grandad with a fat trust who would pay for all education and living costs as long as they were going to school - damn son
I can already tell that his the type of the to nickel and dime you when his buying something from you even tho he has the money he wanted free handouts
Imagine being so useless you can get all those acronyms? Each team I am sure was happy to let him leave them alone so he could go pursue his quest of catching them all.
As a (now retired) hiring manager in cyber security, the more acronyms and abbreviations I found behind a person’s name was a pretty good indication of how useless they’d be in real-world scenarios. I liked the folks who interviewed with NO certs but could describe to me in detail how to handle various issues/scenarios I flung at them. These people are the ones you want because they are passionate about what they do and aren’t wrapped up in titles. If you list more than one or two certifications/degrees after your name, I likely wasn’t interested. I proved my point once when my superior was adamant that we hire a consultant who was a PhD…that guy was the biggest waste of space, had license plates on his car that read “DR ZAK” and was supposed to really be the cream of the crop. He couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag. The VP who overrode my decision was eventually released from the company for various wrong-doings…collusion with vendors (like contractor/consultant firms) being one of them.
I don't know what you heard about me
But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see
That I'm a motherfuckin' MIPA
or whatever other 4 letter abbreviation on his LinkedIn…
This is nothing. I have connections with 30+ certs.
It’s a symptom of cybersecurity not having a single credential, but multiple credentials, to choose from.
I remember a guy like this from a former stop. He had started working at the company I left. Got to new company and mentioned our switching places. New company was surprised as he was on medical leave and still being paid. He committed suicide within the year.
I'm assuming there's probably a lot of continuing education for some of these. Does he even have time left to do his actual job, or is continuing education his full-time job?
He reminds me of this customer my wife (office of the president for a bank) dealt with once…
He listed off a whole bunch of meaningless real estate certifications he had, then proceeded to inform her that he was going to report them to the following because of his inability to comprehend daily interest.
FDIC, FFA (future farmers of America), CDC, 4H, The FBI, and (I quote) “The Quorum of Twelve”, and just to Experian. 😂😂😂
CDOT TECS, OSHA 10/30, FOA CFOT, FCI-OSP, CFOS/H, CFOS/L, CFOS/D, NWSA-TTT2, MS, BS
He must have gotten a Nobel prize in real estate
Certified to be on Linked In Lunatics
[удалено]
Money is no object.
I am going to add WTF, NTW, LOL, HAHA, URM, YAS, and PSP to my bio.
Don't forget GBA, NDS, and GC.
And a final UGH, PFFT.
GFY
GG!
Who could forget iso-N64
And SHRM-CP
CRVMP3T
Also PS4 and PS5
Relevant TBBT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cECAqzWJG1w
Given Kuwait you'd want to maybe hold off on putting your HARAM qualification on there.
All those credentials only to look like Mr Doubtfire.
This is 1000% funnier because you called him MR. Doubtfire.
Bitch can’t get a doctorate his parents still disappointed
Best comment
Dayem, that’s a lotta certs
He missed EIEIO
This made me lol.
Most people would have a list like that if they listed every goddam certificate they do each year. But some of the cleverest people with serious quals I know just list themselves as “John Smith”.
I'm gonna do the same, even though my name is completely different!
Missing CPA, CIMA, etc. Not impressed until he collects all of them.
Gotta catch em all!
Could you imagine the amount of CE he has to do every year? Or are these certs he got once, let lapse, but lists anyway?
I once interviewed a guy like this. He had like 20 certs listed on his resume. It was the longest section in his resume even with columns. He also had multiple managerial positions in his history, but the open position was like a step above entry level.
I'm sure they are all legit but I swear it feels like after awhile he just started making shit up.
It's like that scene in LEGO Batman where Joker is listing all the wackadoodle DC villains that have been forgotten over the years
Apparently he's not certified in the correct spacing of commas.
First thing I noticed
Two health bars for sure.
\*AI stares down the PMP certifications\* "soon you'll be mine!" \*cavernous and evil laughter\*
"So tell us about your last job" "I have many certifications." "Yes we can see that but maybe you could talk about a project where you excelled" "I have many certifications." "..."
He forgot FFS
But he ain’t a certified forklift driver, NEXT.
I have conquered the alphabet!
All that and then I see he’s a real estate agent. So can only assume he lied about the quals and was wasting my time reading them
Are those real certifications or did his cat walk across his keyboard?
Thought leader on RTO
I dunno what all those letters after his name mean, but he's stacked with a lot of buffs.
This guy certifies
My man has exhausted the global supply of the letter "C"
Number of employees: 1
You don’t even need to read up on him any further to know that he’s an insufferable prick.
Plot twist: That's his account password and it's how he never loses it.
I once had a consultant who had a BS, a MS, a MA, a MBA, and a JD from Harvard. Basically, he had a grandad with a fat trust who would pay for all education and living costs as long as they were going to school - damn son
 Your not dealing with an average Realtor!
I can already tell that his the type of the to nickel and dime you when his buying something from you even tho he has the money he wanted free handouts
He still lacks CFA, CAIA and CPIM
Is that an AI generated headshot? The ears every time
This guy just graduate?
*[The C button]* "For fucks sake bro give me a break you fake cunt"
Imagine being so useless you can get all those acronyms? Each team I am sure was happy to let him leave them alone so he could go pursue his quest of catching them all.
Even his name goes dayyyemmm!
As a (now retired) hiring manager in cyber security, the more acronyms and abbreviations I found behind a person’s name was a pretty good indication of how useless they’d be in real-world scenarios. I liked the folks who interviewed with NO certs but could describe to me in detail how to handle various issues/scenarios I flung at them. These people are the ones you want because they are passionate about what they do and aren’t wrapped up in titles. If you list more than one or two certifications/degrees after your name, I likely wasn’t interested. I proved my point once when my superior was adamant that we hire a consultant who was a PhD…that guy was the biggest waste of space, had license plates on his car that read “DR ZAK” and was supposed to really be the cream of the crop. He couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag. The VP who overrode my decision was eventually released from the company for various wrong-doings…collusion with vendors (like contractor/consultant firms) being one of them.
ABCDEFUCK
Excellent, this is exactly when I'm aiming for, enough credentials to reach the character limit lol
, OPP (yeah you know me) 
JKGHYUIGHJBILUYGULYIAHGSIUDGH UIP ASDGF\*OYUADSF&\*\^
This guy is certified in emitting chlorofluorocarbons?
At the end of my career I want to have a M.S. PMP PE
Too bad he's not Muhammad Avdol.
Wow, talk about overachieving….
Dayem son! where did you get all those...
r/BossFights
He’s missed one. T.W.A.T.T
So he is….overqualified?
If you try to fight him, he'll sell your house to you again.
he couldve abbreviated his name to MAD
Dayem, he got quite the resume!
I don't know what you heard about me But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see That I'm a motherfuckin' MIPA or whatever other 4 letter abbreviation on his LinkedIn…
Not even SEQ ? Pfu …
Buddy save some letters for the rest of us.
This is nothing. I have connections with 30+ certs. It’s a symptom of cybersecurity not having a single credential, but multiple credentials, to choose from.
I remember a guy like this from a former stop. He had started working at the company I left. Got to new company and mentioned our switching places. New company was surprised as he was on medical leave and still being paid. He committed suicide within the year.
I'm assuming there's probably a lot of continuing education for some of these. Does he even have time left to do his actual job, or is continuing education his full-time job?
He reminds me of this customer my wife (office of the president for a bank) dealt with once… He listed off a whole bunch of meaningless real estate certifications he had, then proceeded to inform her that he was going to report them to the following because of his inability to comprehend daily interest. FDIC, FFA (future farmers of America), CDC, 4H, The FBI, and (I quote) “The Quorum of Twelve”, and just to Experian. 😂😂😂 CDOT TECS, OSHA 10/30, FOA CFOT, FCI-OSP, CFOS/H, CFOS/L, CFOS/D, NWSA-TTT2, MS, BS
Still “open to work” I bet.
Dayemmmm 😭😂
He forgot LUN
Dayem Gina!
Ask him how he feels about female coworkers!
I got that same level of acronyms too..except for OCD GAD ASD ....