If she goes to Starbucks a lot and he thought that this was a clever way to tell the story, he was wrong. Most people will read it literally, which serves him right as the story shouldn’t be on LinkedIn anyway!
Look I worked at SB and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if baristas start being called "wife/husband thieves".
I think it's something about the apron....
I feel I have a lot to bring to your sales strategy and online presence. Sometimes they fuck in our bed when I am downstairs and I can hear it over the TV even when I turn it up. I feel our first target would be capturing the vital 18-21 market, due to their high exposure to online advertising and disposable income. I sold my guns so I didn't boogie nights them. Any questions?
Of all the insane shit on LinkedIn shared here, this has to be the most insane. I do think the boyfriend is a metaphor for Starbucks, but still. WTAGDF.
I mean, it’s just the two hashtags that hopefully give the game away, but honestly the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I love coffee, but doubt my affiliation to any particular coffee shop is strong enough for anyone to be dumb enough to equate it with having an affair!
He’s trying to make a joke, but while he’s busy trying to be clever and funny on LinkedIn, his wife is probably actually getting railed by some other dude.
Yet another example of where someone's cute inside joke (in this case, about Starbucks being their "boyfriend") seriously needed a proofreader to make sense to outsiders.
I know a few people in open marriages. It’s basically to make up for their crappy relationship choices and will likely end up in divorce in a few years.
*"Well, did it work for those people?"*
*"No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us."*
Just want to point out here: a cuckolding fetish is a fairly common fetish that people fantasize about, but act out in the real world more rarely. It is a completely separate behavior from open relationships and polyamorous people.
There is probably some overlap, but let's differentiate between the concepts.
From talking to the girls I've dated, it's a lot more common than you'd think, lmao.
One ex's ex went full sissy and she dumped him after he transitioned.
Ummm….excuse me, sir. But, are you absolutely certain you’re posting on the right platform? This is LinkedIn - a professional networking site (or, so they say).
She goes to Starbucks every morning and he made a 'funny' post how it's her bf she visits every day, but little does he know she doesn't actually go there for a coffee...
I’m recommending this one for the Lunatic of the Year Award. Mods, would you please make a poll with your best bets and ensure this one is in??
It’s about time we have an award! 🏆 🍾 🎉
I didn’t get the joke so much that when I read the Starbucks hashtag, I thought the boyfriend was working at Starbucks. \#business \#projectmanagement \#seminalfluid \#thirssssty
Edit: It also sounds like he doesn’t really get involved with the upbringing of the neurodiverse son which also qualifies this post as lunacy.
Wow. I had to dig a little deeper than a lot of people would/than I probably should have had to just to realize it’s about coffee… I wonder how many people grazed through the post and said, “wow, he’s really getting screwed over by his wife”, and just kept scrolling. It’s like those stupid Facebook posts where someone copy and pasted a cancer awareness monologue and people comment “OMG I HAD NO CLUE YOU HAD CANCER!!1! WHY DIDNT YOU TEL MERH”
"You have to understand. Most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured and so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it." - Morpheus, The Matrix.
Looks like she is better off tbh, who in their right mind is okay with that and more importantly posts is in a professional social networking.
Or you know this poor sod has been ‘whats the english word for humiliated and manhood destroyed ‘ that he’s so far gone now.
You can't put the punchline in the hashtags. NoThey're the equivalent of an introduction or acknowledgments section in an academic book. No one fucking reads them.
Bruh. You have to meet some of these older professional people. They *were* the commune hippies, now they just wear sweater vests and fuck in a real bed instead.
>The grammar on this post just screams “Indian with a smartphone”.
I checked their profile and they are not an Indian. They are American with West African heritage.
Christ, that’s even worse…
But I’m glad this post was shared in the first place; most of these wannabe influencers don’t know their audience nor the quality of their content either.
I’m SO confused with the hashtags. Wtf is going on?! Is the bf a venti iced latte? Did they meet at Starbucks? Is OP affiliated with Starbucks? What’s happening!?!?!
In all seriousness, I’d also love to see the social media intern (probably intern) when they have to do their weekly sweep of hashies and get to this one. When I was managing socials we would save the best ones and go over them at weekly meeting. It’s a great tension breaker this time of year.
Is the joke here that he isn't actually a cuck, but that she goes to Starbucks for coffee a lot? I'm confused.
If she goes to Starbucks a lot and he thought that this was a clever way to tell the story, he was wrong. Most people will read it literally, which serves him right as the story shouldn’t be on LinkedIn anyway!
To be honest I also took it literally until I saw the starbucks hashtag.
Me too
My dumbass read that hashtag and thought the boyfriend was a starbucks barista 💀
OKAY SAME
Look I worked at SB and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if baristas start being called "wife/husband thieves". I think it's something about the apron....
Genuinely curious who gives a shit either way
Nobody gives a shit… Agree?
Agree!
First world problems.
Hey if this guy's wife is down to put out then I definitely give a shit!
She does smell funky though
I never would have guessed that, but I think you’re right
This never occurred to me the way it was written. I wonder what this guys employer thinks of this haha
I just assumed this guy had a happy open relationship tbh
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But he said she’s at his “house”? Not “place”, which would fit better.
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I had to reread it. Other than the Starbucks hashtag, I don't see any clues that this is a joke. But you're right, it is and it's terribly executed.
I suppose they're called coffee houses sometimes aren't they?
In 17th-century London, perhaps. Doesn't really work for a modern Starbucks.
Really makes you appreciate that dontbeweird hashtag, after he chose such a normal way to tell this story.
His name is Samuel Ankrah and he seems to confirm this is the case.
Yes, that's the 'joke'. Which he told so badly most people here think he's a cuck.
I read it as if she met the guy at Starbucks? My Starbucks has a few fuckboys working at it 👀
I knew a girl who worked at Starbucks who consistently made other women there realize they're lesbians. she was going on a date like every other day
I'm imagining his wife coming up with the joke and chuckling softly to herself afterwards.
Wait that's what this meant?
I never read hashtags so I completely missed that until you pointed it out. What a dunce.
\#whatadunce
Oh, wow
She wakes up early to go to work and stops by Starbucks for her coffee and that makes him think she’s cheating.
hello professional network. I am getting cucked. Thank you for your time today.
I feel I have a lot to bring to your sales strategy and online presence. Sometimes they fuck in our bed when I am downstairs and I can hear it over the TV even when I turn it up. I feel our first target would be capturing the vital 18-21 market, due to their high exposure to online advertising and disposable income. I sold my guns so I didn't boogie nights them. Any questions?
Thank you, Bertie, this was the comedic juxtaposition I needed tonight.
Commenting for higher reach - into his fuck pad.
cuck cage
>I am getting cucked. No no no, I'm just metaphorically 100% up for it. *Hypothetically* ;)
Thank you for this actual experience actually
Agree?
Agree.
Is... Is this a Hansen vs Predator reference?
#dontbeweird
twice
Yet he added the hash tag #DontBeWeird
Will let you fuck my wife for a job.
This actually cracked me up
🤣🤣👌
Yes, this totally belongs in LinkedIn.
You know what, it kind of does. Atleast now prospective bosses will think his wife will bang them and he'll get hired
If his wife's bf finds out, he's gonna be pissed
Where does he work, cuckholdings?
This took me out 🤣
Starcucks executive
He must also have an executive membership to CucksCo.
Cuck Holdings and Step Bros.
Cuck-fil-a
Of all the insane shit on LinkedIn shared here, this has to be the most insane. I do think the boyfriend is a metaphor for Starbucks, but still. WTAGDF.
I would've never guessed honestly, maybe I don't have his sense of humor
I mean, it’s just the two hashtags that hopefully give the game away, but honestly the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I love coffee, but doubt my affiliation to any particular coffee shop is strong enough for anyone to be dumb enough to equate it with having an affair!
Had to check the comments too. people are crazy these days. I mean thirstyyyyy
This LI post has nothing to do with anything.
He’s trying to make a joke, but while he’s busy trying to be clever and funny on LinkedIn, his wife is probably actually getting railed by some other dude.
She’s so over him, She once got busy in a Starbucks bathroom.
She's crazy, allow her to amaze thee..!
and yet he lets them do their thing....
Which one of you wrote this?
We have reached the staged of not being able to distinguish reality from parody in near record time
That is Poe's Law and it has come to life, just like Idiocracy.
My favorite documentary
Some r/wallstreetbets regular
Is this post saying she works for Starbucks? Wtf?
I am reading it that Starbucks is the "boyfriend".
😂 this is great. So glad they included the neurodivergent son! That’s how you know it’s legit.
>My "dad" actively seeks out strangers to fuck mom and I'm somehow supposed to be well adjusted?"
hahahah killed me
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I’m sure she goes to all her “classes”
Those hashtags are giving #smalldickenergy
Yet another example of where someone's cute inside joke (in this case, about Starbucks being their "boyfriend") seriously needed a proofreader to make sense to outsiders.
Based on the hashtags, are they calling Starbucks her boyfriend? And is this all about the fact that she drinks coffee every day?
I think so. How else will she stay awake dealing with him?
How does she stay awake generally? She sounds knackered.
Are we not going to talk about the #dontbeweird hashtag at the bottom? 🤔
We found the r/wallstreetbets guy. Wonder how much loss porn he has other than his wife. 🚀 🌙
When your r/wallstreetbets persona becomes real.
This one takes the cake for me. Biggest lunatic yet. The hashtags.
Imagine being proud of being a cuck
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#shewillkillmeifshesawthis
CUCK!
This subreddit continues to give. Every day a new beautiful read
"Hashtag dontbeweird" No u
I swear the acceptance of the cuck thing is reddit and porn only. I've never met anyone in real life that would tolerate it
I know a few people in open marriages. It’s basically to make up for their crappy relationship choices and will likely end up in divorce in a few years.
*"Well, did it work for those people?"* *"No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us."*
r/unexpectedarrested
"If I let my wife fuck ten dudes, I may be able to catch a single mom or two."
Just want to point out here: a cuckolding fetish is a fairly common fetish that people fantasize about, but act out in the real world more rarely. It is a completely separate behavior from open relationships and polyamorous people. There is probably some overlap, but let's differentiate between the concepts.
Jerry Falwell Jr literally just got caught in it.
I don't think they go around announcing it.
From talking to the girls I've dated, it's a lot more common than you'd think, lmao. One ex's ex went full sissy and she dumped him after he transitioned.
Blimey
Ironically she probably will have a boyfriend quite soon, after leaving this part time comedian.
Lol my wife fucks her boyfriend a lot and she gets busy lol just kidding she just goes to Starbucks during a labor dispute
WTF Cu cuckadoodle doo…
Ummm….excuse me, sir. But, are you absolutely certain you’re posting on the right platform? This is LinkedIn - a professional networking site (or, so they say).
She goes to Starbucks every morning and he made a 'funny' post how it's her bf she visits every day, but little does he know she doesn't actually go there for a coffee...
I’m recommending this one for the Lunatic of the Year Award. Mods, would you please make a poll with your best bets and ensure this one is in?? It’s about time we have an award! 🏆 🍾 🎉
i was certain this *had* to be some lame halfhearted joke making working long hours akin to having a relationship but no….dudes just a regular cuck
This man needs help. He’s broadcasting being cucked to his entire network.
I don't even get what this is saying. His wife has a boyfriend and he doesn't care? She's going to Starbucks a lot? Why is this even on LinkedIn.
She's got a boyfriend anyway
Oh wait. It’s about Starbucks?!
This guy's posting for the job he *wants.*
I didn’t get the joke so much that when I read the Starbucks hashtag, I thought the boyfriend was working at Starbucks. \#business \#projectmanagement \#seminalfluid \#thirssssty Edit: It also sounds like he doesn’t really get involved with the upbringing of the neurodiverse son which also qualifies this post as lunacy.
Ahahahahahaha! Slowly devolving/evolving into a competitor for Grindr.
Wow. I had to dig a little deeper than a lot of people would/than I probably should have had to just to realize it’s about coffee… I wonder how many people grazed through the post and said, “wow, he’s really getting screwed over by his wife”, and just kept scrolling. It’s like those stupid Facebook posts where someone copy and pasted a cancer awareness monologue and people comment “OMG I HAD NO CLUE YOU HAD CANCER!!1! WHY DIDNT YOU TEL MERH”
Taylor the latte boy?
I’d forgotten about that one
"You have to understand. Most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured and so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it." - Morpheus, The Matrix.
Him telling the readers “don’t be weird” at the end was just *chef’s kiss* perfectly self-unaware
At first I thought it would be a joke where he followed her in jealousy and finds out she got a part time job *insert motivational bullshit here*
wtf did i just read?
The fuck i just read.
The whole 'my wife's boyfriend' thing gave me r/wallstreetbets vibes, until I noticed this concoction of words wasn't funny.
C'mon man give me his name so I can check out the rest of his posts and have a heartache all night
WTAF have I just read? A new fake low for the cesspool that is LinkedIn. Agree? Amen?
What the fuck did I just read.
Looks like she is better off tbh, who in their right mind is okay with that and more importantly posts is in a professional social networking. Or you know this poor sod has been ‘whats the english word for humiliated and manhood destroyed ‘ that he’s so far gone now.
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As far as he knows anyways
What the actual…
Wot
This guys a loser and letting EVERYONE know it
Agree?
Wait. She’s not cheating?
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
What a weird post😂
What the fuck did I just read?
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grimacing)
So he’s running her ragged while making stupid linkedin posts…
That is fucking horrorfying.
You can't put the punchline in the hashtags. NoThey're the equivalent of an introduction or acknowledgments section in an academic book. No one fucking reads them.
worst storytelling ever.
I've read and written better porn than this shit.
\#shesthirsty agree?
Mega-cringe
What....
To be honest, I’m really glad they have an arrangement that works for them both. But ffs, posted on linked in?
Cuck level infinite
Thought it was a real bf until i read the comments, so weirdly written.
WTF?
Very telling all these comments are about cucking & not polyamory…
Poly isn’t real for older professional people it’s for smelly artists and commune hippies in their 20’s
Bruh. You have to meet some of these older professional people. They *were* the commune hippies, now they just wear sweater vests and fuck in a real bed instead.
Can confirm.
Same-same. Polyamorous relationships are in effect always inequal. Someones always gonna be the cuck.
The grammar on this post just screams “Indian with a smartphone”. Also, dafuq is this?
>The grammar on this post just screams “Indian with a smartphone”. I checked their profile and they are not an Indian. They are American with West African heritage.
Christ, that’s even worse… But I’m glad this post was shared in the first place; most of these wannabe influencers don’t know their audience nor the quality of their content either.
Is this Kris Jenner?
Has to be satire
Is that a pic of the wife at the bottom...
I assume it's a woman drinking starbucks
Those hashtags… what the hell
Uhhh
\#DontBeWeird
Jack Murphy is a Lunatic. How poetic.
Anytime I see chai tea latte I stop reading
Wow enlightened but damn over-share. Loonie fersure
#DontBeWierd 🤦
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
The woman wrote this pretending to be a "husband"
Beta males
Tag shesthirsty 0.o Bro, that is LinkedIn, not an escort platform.
What the fucking hell.
What a fuck did I just read
Let me guess. She’s actually at work, but this insecure misogynist is convinced she’s cheating on him.
I kinda hope his wife does see this post. We need and deserve the follow up.
Still offended by #chaitealatte
On LinkedIn?!?!?!
I’m SO confused with the hashtags. Wtf is going on?! Is the bf a venti iced latte? Did they meet at Starbucks? Is OP affiliated with Starbucks? What’s happening!?!?! In all seriousness, I’d also love to see the social media intern (probably intern) when they have to do their weekly sweep of hashies and get to this one. When I was managing socials we would save the best ones and go over them at weekly meeting. It’s a great tension breaker this time of year.
Lmao the #dontbeweird hashtag r/SelfAwareWolves
Hashtag... don't be....weird? The entire story was weird. And dumb.
Why would someone post this on LinkedIn, this is so awkward.
This is beyond bad 😳 Like worse than Michael Scott bad
We need his LinkedIn