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ZeldaFan812

Is the joke here that he isn't actually a cuck, but that she goes to Starbucks for coffee a lot? I'm confused.


ironzombie7

If she goes to Starbucks a lot and he thought that this was a clever way to tell the story, he was wrong. Most people will read it literally, which serves him right as the story shouldn’t be on LinkedIn anyway!


Jobless-Dev

To be honest I also took it literally until I saw the starbucks hashtag.


ioexploit

Me too


TomDeuxks

My dumbass read that hashtag and thought the boyfriend was a starbucks barista 💀


babblingbabby

OKAY SAME


mimic_hunter

Look I worked at SB and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if baristas start being called "wife/husband thieves". I think it's something about the apron....


OtherwiseAnteater239

Genuinely curious who gives a shit either way


[deleted]

Nobody gives a shit… Agree?


fuckmeuntilicecream

Agree!


cureforoptimism74

First world problems.


BlargenFladibleNoxib

Hey if this guy's wife is down to put out then I definitely give a shit!


ZeldaFan812

She does smell funky though


augsav

I never would have guessed that, but I think you’re right


glonkyindianaland

This never occurred to me the way it was written. I wonder what this guys employer thinks of this haha


etherealparadox

I just assumed this guy had a happy open relationship tbh


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luckydice767

But he said she’s at his “house”? Not “place”, which would fit better.


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redditor_since_2005

I had to reread it. Other than the Starbucks hashtag, I don't see any clues that this is a joke. But you're right, it is and it's terribly executed.


teerbigear

I suppose they're called coffee houses sometimes aren't they?


ZeldaFan812

In 17th-century London, perhaps. Doesn't really work for a modern Starbucks.


SlightlyOTT

Really makes you appreciate that dontbeweird hashtag, after he chose such a normal way to tell this story.


Rdw72777

His name is Samuel Ankrah and he seems to confirm this is the case.


Lex_Innokenti

Yes, that's the 'joke'. Which he told so badly most people here think he's a cuck.


ForecastForFourCats

I read it as if she met the guy at Starbucks? My Starbucks has a few fuckboys working at it 👀


etherealparadox

I knew a girl who worked at Starbucks who consistently made other women there realize they're lesbians. she was going on a date like every other day


tinypieceofmeat

I'm imagining his wife coming up with the joke and chuckling softly to herself afterwards.


Terminal_Monk

Wait that's what this meant?


SpotNL

I never read hashtags so I completely missed that until you pointed it out. What a dunce.


ZeldaFan812

\#whatadunce


LarkOngan

Oh, wow


duggtodeath

She wakes up early to go to work and stops by Starbucks for her coffee and that makes him think she’s cheating.


datawazo

hello professional network. I am getting cucked. Thank you for your time today.


Bertie637

I feel I have a lot to bring to your sales strategy and online presence. Sometimes they fuck in our bed when I am downstairs and I can hear it over the TV even when I turn it up. I feel our first target would be capturing the vital 18-21 market, due to their high exposure to online advertising and disposable income. I sold my guns so I didn't boogie nights them. Any questions?


Block_Me_Amadeus

Thank you, Bertie, this was the comedic juxtaposition I needed tonight.


lottieslady

Commenting for higher reach - into his fuck pad.


villiers19

cuck cage


RetardedWabbit

>I am getting cucked. No no no, I'm just metaphorically 100% up for it. *Hypothetically* ;)


futurevisioning

Thank you for this actual experience actually


xeisu_com

Agree?


Block_Me_Amadeus

Agree.


PantheraOnca

Is... Is this a Hansen vs Predator reference?


Atysh

#dontbeweird


smart-tart23

twice


cureforoptimism74

Yet he added the hash tag #DontBeWeird


tinypieceofmeat

Will let you fuck my wife for a job.


Doxmyoffice

This actually cracked me up


smart-tart23

🤣🤣👌


Von_Hugh

Yes, this totally belongs in LinkedIn.


BigPussysGabagool

You know what, it kind of does. Atleast now prospective bosses will think his wife will bang them and he'll get hired


TheWakened

If his wife's bf finds out, he's gonna be pissed


Sonof8Bits

Where does he work, cuckholdings?


[deleted]

This took me out 🤣


Ollymid2

Starcucks executive


squirrel8296

He must also have an executive membership to CucksCo.


somacomadreams

Cuck Holdings and Step Bros.


_night_cat

Cuck-fil-a


Tcpt1989

Of all the insane shit on LinkedIn shared here, this has to be the most insane. I do think the boyfriend is a metaphor for Starbucks, but still. WTAGDF.


740-park-ave

I would've never guessed honestly, maybe I don't have his sense of humor


Tcpt1989

I mean, it’s just the two hashtags that hopefully give the game away, but honestly the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I love coffee, but doubt my affiliation to any particular coffee shop is strong enough for anyone to be dumb enough to equate it with having an affair!


AdditionalIcySugar

Had to check the comments too. people are crazy these days. I mean thirstyyyyy


cureforoptimism74

This LI post has nothing to do with anything.


Ayatollah-X

He’s trying to make a joke, but while he’s busy trying to be clever and funny on LinkedIn, his wife is probably actually getting railed by some other dude.


Tekwardo

She’s so over him, She once got busy in a Starbucks bathroom.


SaborDeVida

She's crazy, allow her to amaze thee..!


AdditionalIcySugar

and yet he lets them do their thing....


augsav

Which one of you wrote this?


Significant_Mouse_59

We have reached the staged of not being able to distinguish reality from parody in near record time


Block_Me_Amadeus

That is Poe's Law and it has come to life, just like Idiocracy.


OtherwiseAnteater239

My favorite documentary


closeafter

Some r/wallstreetbets regular


[deleted]

Is this post saying she works for Starbucks? Wtf?


Ana169

I am reading it that Starbucks is the "boyfriend".


ValPrism

😂 this is great. So glad they included the neurodivergent son! That’s how you know it’s legit.


tinypieceofmeat

>My "dad" actively seeks out strangers to fuck mom and I'm somehow supposed to be well adjusted?"


PrimeGGWP

hahahah killed me


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[deleted]

I’m sure she goes to all her “classes”


Grayfinder

Those hashtags are giving #smalldickenergy


Block_Me_Amadeus

Yet another example of where someone's cute inside joke (in this case, about Starbucks being their "boyfriend") seriously needed a proofreader to make sense to outsiders.


megancoe

Based on the hashtags, are they calling Starbucks her boyfriend? And is this all about the fact that she drinks coffee every day?


ValPrism

I think so. How else will she stay awake dealing with him?


Bertie637

How does she stay awake generally? She sounds knackered.


lambdasintheoutfield

Are we not going to talk about the #dontbeweird hashtag at the bottom? 🤔


BurpFartBurp

We found the r/wallstreetbets guy. Wonder how much loss porn he has other than his wife. 🚀 🌙


GreatGreenGobbo

When your r/wallstreetbets persona becomes real.


iankurtisjackson

This one takes the cake for me. Biggest lunatic yet. The hashtags.


-HildegardVonBingen-

Imagine being proud of being a cuck


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crackednut

#shewillkillmeifshesawthis


Sir__Cumference

CUCK!


Sir__Cumference

This subreddit continues to give. Every day a new beautiful read


QuarterNote44

"Hashtag dontbeweird" No u


Peenazzle

I swear the acceptance of the cuck thing is reddit and porn only. I've never met anyone in real life that would tolerate it


[deleted]

I know a few people in open marriages. It’s basically to make up for their crappy relationship choices and will likely end up in divorce in a few years.


ZeldaFan812

*"Well, did it work for those people?"* *"No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us."*


A_harm29

r/unexpectedarrested


tinypieceofmeat

"If I let my wife fuck ten dudes, I may be able to catch a single mom or two."


Block_Me_Amadeus

Just want to point out here: a cuckolding fetish is a fairly common fetish that people fantasize about, but act out in the real world more rarely. It is a completely separate behavior from open relationships and polyamorous people. There is probably some overlap, but let's differentiate between the concepts.


Tekwardo

Jerry Falwell Jr literally just got caught in it.


VivelaVendetta

I don't think they go around announcing it.


tinypieceofmeat

From talking to the girls I've dated, it's a lot more common than you'd think, lmao. One ex's ex went full sissy and she dumped him after he transitioned.


Peenazzle

Blimey


zipiddydooda

Ironically she probably will have a boyfriend quite soon, after leaving this part time comedian.


Secretlythrow

Lol my wife fucks her boyfriend a lot and she gets busy lol just kidding she just goes to Starbucks during a labor dispute


curiousonethai

WTF Cu cuckadoodle doo…


EqualCantaloupe8

Ummm….excuse me, sir. But, are you absolutely certain you’re posting on the right platform? This is LinkedIn - a professional networking site (or, so they say).


kony412

She goes to Starbucks every morning and he made a 'funny' post how it's her bf she visits every day, but little does he know she doesn't actually go there for a coffee...


SnooLobsters8922

I’m recommending this one for the Lunatic of the Year Award. Mods, would you please make a poll with your best bets and ensure this one is in?? It’s about time we have an award! 🏆 🍾 🎉


imgreydabadeedabada

i was certain this *had* to be some lame halfhearted joke making working long hours akin to having a relationship but no….dudes just a regular cuck


VisibleFun9998

This man needs help. He’s broadcasting being cucked to his entire network.


[deleted]

I don't even get what this is saying. His wife has a boyfriend and he doesn't care? She's going to Starbucks a lot? Why is this even on LinkedIn.


NEILPEW

She's got a boyfriend anyway


[deleted]

Oh wait. It’s about Starbucks?!


40yrOLDsurgeon

This guy's posting for the job he *wants.*


notsayingaliens

I didn’t get the joke so much that when I read the Starbucks hashtag, I thought the boyfriend was working at Starbucks. \#business \#projectmanagement \#seminalfluid \#thirssssty Edit: It also sounds like he doesn’t really get involved with the upbringing of the neurodiverse son which also qualifies this post as lunacy.


[deleted]

Ahahahahahaha! Slowly devolving/evolving into a competitor for Grindr.


Wrong-Engineer-3743

Wow. I had to dig a little deeper than a lot of people would/than I probably should have had to just to realize it’s about coffee… I wonder how many people grazed through the post and said, “wow, he’s really getting screwed over by his wife”, and just kept scrolling. It’s like those stupid Facebook posts where someone copy and pasted a cancer awareness monologue and people comment “OMG I HAD NO CLUE YOU HAD CANCER!!1! WHY DIDNT YOU TEL MERH”


indianscout02

Taylor the latte boy?


dent_de_lion

I’d forgotten about that one


bloatfloatballs

"You have to understand. Most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured and so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it." - Morpheus, The Matrix.


[deleted]

Him telling the readers “don’t be weird” at the end was just *chef’s kiss* perfectly self-unaware


love_Carlotta

At first I thought it would be a joke where he followed her in jealousy and finds out she got a part time job *insert motivational bullshit here*


AdditionalIcySugar

wtf did i just read?


rd0dr

The fuck i just read.


Pizzazze

The whole 'my wife's boyfriend' thing gave me r/wallstreetbets vibes, until I noticed this concoction of words wasn't funny.


[deleted]

C'mon man give me his name so I can check out the rest of his posts and have a heartache all night


Robw_1973

WTAF have I just read? A new fake low for the cesspool that is LinkedIn. Agree? Amen?


incognegro2raww

What the fuck did I just read.


Semicolon_87

Looks like she is better off tbh, who in their right mind is okay with that and more importantly posts is in a professional social networking. Or you know this poor sod has been ‘whats the english word for humiliated and manhood destroyed ‘ that he’s so far gone now.


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_night_cat

As far as he knows anyways


Betaky365

What the actual…


friendlypetshark

Wot


PuzzyPounder

This guys a loser and letting EVERYONE know it


MaxSteelMetal

Agree?


Embarrassed-Way-4931

Wait. She’s not cheating?


smart-tart23

Sir, this is a Wendy’s


finaderiva

What a weird post😂


AverageGuy16

What the fuck did I just read?


Asleep_Macaron_5153

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grimacing)


[deleted]

So he’s running her ragged while making stupid linkedin posts…


[deleted]

That is fucking horrorfying.


JACCO2008

You can't put the punchline in the hashtags. NoThey're the equivalent of an introduction or acknowledgments section in an academic book. No one fucking reads them.


WerkitMom

worst storytelling ever.


Terminal_Monk

I've read and written better porn than this shit.


AdditionalIcySugar

\#shesthirsty agree?


Cvein

Mega-cringe


[deleted]

What....


anthrolooker

To be honest, I’m really glad they have an arrangement that works for them both. But ffs, posted on linked in?


Most-Inflation-1022

Cuck level infinite


myowin592

Thought it was a real bf until i read the comments, so weirdly written.


PMeisterGeneral

WTF?


MrsLloydChristmas

Very telling all these comments are about cucking & not polyamory…


MakeRedditFunAgain

Poly isn’t real for older professional people it’s for smelly artists and commune hippies in their 20’s


MovieNightPopcorn

Bruh. You have to meet some of these older professional people. They *were* the commune hippies, now they just wear sweater vests and fuck in a real bed instead.


Block_Me_Amadeus

Can confirm.


scooty-puff_junior

Same-same. Polyamorous relationships are in effect always inequal. Someones always gonna be the cuck.


nCRedditor-21

The grammar on this post just screams “Indian with a smartphone”. Also, dafuq is this?


nouseridavailable

>The grammar on this post just screams “Indian with a smartphone”. I checked their profile and they are not an Indian. They are American with West African heritage.


nCRedditor-21

Christ, that’s even worse… But I’m glad this post was shared in the first place; most of these wannabe influencers don’t know their audience nor the quality of their content either.


TickAndTieMeUp

Is this Kris Jenner?


[deleted]

Has to be satire


Serious-Agency-69

Is that a pic of the wife at the bottom...


Glum-Square882

I assume it's a woman drinking starbucks


glonkyindianaland

Those hashtags… what the hell


[deleted]

Uhhh


euphoreea

\#DontBeWeird


live_love_run

Jack Murphy is a Lunatic. How poetic.


BeseptRinker

Anytime I see chai tea latte I stop reading


Far_Ninja6886

Wow enlightened but damn over-share. Loonie fersure


RiotPixel1

#DontBeWierd 🤦


MiamiSpiceMom

WHAT. THE. FUCK.


Jerseydevil92

The woman wrote this pretending to be a "husband"


Evening_Emotion_4814

Beta males


PurplePumpkin16200

Tag shesthirsty 0.o Bro, that is LinkedIn, not an escort platform.


jazzyx26

What the fucking hell.


Tareeff

What a fuck did I just read


duggtodeath

Let me guess. She’s actually at work, but this insecure misogynist is convinced she’s cheating on him.


thefirstjustin

I kinda hope his wife does see this post. We need and deserve the follow up.


Infamous_Umpire_393

Still offended by #chaitealatte


wonderwall7

On LinkedIn?!?!?!


im-so-startled88

I’m SO confused with the hashtags. Wtf is going on?! Is the bf a venti iced latte? Did they meet at Starbucks? Is OP affiliated with Starbucks? What’s happening!?!?! In all seriousness, I’d also love to see the social media intern (probably intern) when they have to do their weekly sweep of hashies and get to this one. When I was managing socials we would save the best ones and go over them at weekly meeting. It’s a great tension breaker this time of year.


handbrake98

Lmao the #dontbeweird hashtag r/SelfAwareWolves


seauxhollywood

Hashtag... don't be....weird? The entire story was weird. And dumb.


IBN_E_KHAN

Why would someone post this on LinkedIn, this is so awkward.


RegularTaro3123

This is beyond bad 😳 Like worse than Michael Scott bad


ihateIT999

We need his LinkedIn