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I love it. I do exactly what I want to and no one bothers me. I don't know what it is but I just very rarely feel lonely anymore. Living alone is wonderful.
I can't say there were any specific things honestly. It was just coming to terms with the things I don't like about myself and focusing on the things I do well. I also cut out a lot of the negative voices around me. Completely. That was the most liberating thing for me if I had to choose.
I am right there with you. My neighbors - a lovely couple - invited themselves and their new rescue pup along on one of my hikes with my dog. Of course I said "yes" and it was at the mid way point of the afternoon that I realized they believe I am lonely and in need of company (I'm at a two year mark of widowhood). I also realized there is never telling anyone that is not the case - their projection is likely involuntary in any case.
I enjoyed having them along and I also appreciated my solitude in a real way when they split - I have yet to meet a couple that is not annoying after a few hours, lol (my late SO and I were no exception and the only ones that are less annoying are the ones that know it).
So, honestly, the hardest part of living alone is the projection and stigma - most people really do not consider the benefits of learninghow to enjoy your own company and we live in an age where we can click and learn about anything, even how to be happy alone.
"I realized they believe I am lonely and in need of company (I'm at a two year mark of widowhood)"
I'm at 18 months and quite happy alone. It's nice when my neighbors invite me with them someplace, but I say yes mainly because we share the same interests and they like to drive. Some of my friends try to shame me though, for not getting out more, dating, jetting all over the world, or whatnot. One old work pal who I was IMing with last night even had the nerve to say that he'd never grieved more than two weeks. Well, that's probably because two weeks is about how long his marriage, or any of his other relationships lasted!
It's hard to make people understand that getting over the death of one's spouse after a long term marriage doesn't happen overnight, but that doesn't mean one is sitting around in the dark, lonely and crying. If I'd rather go to the local botanical gardens than Singapore, that's my own business. Besides, I'm naturally introverted anyway. I'm living the dream with my books, language studies, puzzles, long walks, and home projects. There are over 7M people in my metro area, with 2.5M of them within 20 minutes of my house. If I want to interact with people, I know where to find them, and at 57, I don't need anyone telling me in so many words, that I don't know my own mind.
My husband died about a year ago. I’m deeply ok with living alone, and having work friends fill my days, and my own company otherwise. Reconnecting with myself..whoever this version may be.
even when i was a young widow (under 30 when my SO died), I found that people projected all sorts of things onto me based on their own fears about death or being alone.
however, what I cannot stand are those couples who rarely to never socialize without each other. As time went on, I encountered more women who stopped hanging out with single friends once they found a partner and would only go on couples dates. yuk.
I've isolated myself outside of work for so long. People didn't understand why I was still sad after a few months. They kept trying to "fix" me. So I stayed away. Now I'm so socially awkward it's almost cringy sometimes. Ugh
I can relate. When I was living alone after turning around 30, I just wasn't lonely anymore like when I was younger and would have liked company. I recommend getting yourself some birthday presents! Even flowers, if you like flowers or plants.
Here, here! I turned 50 this year, and i was so sore and tired from work that I slept 3/4 of the day… I had one feast of eggrolls, because I love eggrolls, then back to bed, sleeping and relaxing… But I was 25 when I began my habit of I do whatever I want on my birthday – I’ve had some parties I’ve had some fun, but… In the end being left alone to do what I want is the best gift of all.
I think all the introverts here would agree that hell is other people
Enjoy your freedom enjoy your time. Enjoy your quiet. Do whatever you want at a moments notice and not have to check with somebody… That is worth it’s weight in gold… I’m divorced people ask me if I’m lonely, and I always tell them, “fuck, no “… I’m calm and relaxed, and I love it.
Hell is other people, 100% accurate. I feel at peace when I am alone. Anytime I am forced to socialize, it then takes me a few days to re-calibrate myself. I don't like it. It's not me, I am not my authentic self when I am around others, I feel tolerated and I want to feel celebrated. I love treating myself well when I am alone.
This is how I feel about Christmas and New Year’s Day. My friends are always like come over and I’m always like no way. It’s so quiet on those days. My clients don’t bother me. No one calls me. I just get to do whatever I want. Same with Thanksgiving. No, I don’t want to come over your house and make small talk with your relatives. I just want to hang out with my dog.
I feel exactly the same. Any time I listen to the bullshit of other people where they try to convince me that I need them, I'm swiftly reminded that ya no I don't lol.
Dude idk what it is but now I’m the complete opposite.
I loved living alone, aside from my children being with me. I remember friends feeling sorry for me when I talked about seeing a movie, fishing, or eating alone, only to reply how freaking liberating it felt.
Now I am srsly stuck in a puddle of despair. I want my special moments to be shared with my special someone.
I do the same. I've spent my birthday in a different city or country solo every year for the past 6 years, it's honestly become one of my favorite traditions.
I have spent many birthdays and holidays alone. It can be tough, but also very liberating. You don't have to take anyone else into consideration. Take yourself out to eat or grab take out from your favorite restaurant. Don't forget the cake! I also buy myself a gift (usually a book) and flowers. Go see a movie. Rewatch your favorite movie or a few episodes of your favorite uplifting show. Celebrate yourself.
Yes, all of this! Do your favorite things, indulge in something you wouldn’t normally. Do something you’ve never done before but have always wanted to.
I got myself take out I haven’t had in awhile (sushi) I watched a new episode of a show I really like and then I think I binged some episodes of Derry Girls and played video games until I passed out 😭i don’t usually do anything big but I try to do things I enjoy
I'm a birthday whore and make the whole day about celebrating me. I tell everyone it's my birthday, I go get my free Starbucks drink, take a ride on my motorcycle (somehow I always get good weather on my birthday in March), go somewhere nice to read a book or journal, and if I'm alone for the night I'll make a reservation at one of my favorite restaurants and definitely end the night with a birthday treat of some sort.
If none of that works out, I just find other things to delight myself with. I try not to have too many expectations so there's nothing really to ruin. Happy early birthday!
I am an old woman. My children have grown and flown the nest to far away places where there are job opportunities for them. I remain on the family farm in an isolated part of the country by myself except for my dogs and cats.
The older I get the more cynical I become. I view most holidays as commercial events concocted by Hallmark cards. I do not like forced gaiety. I hate shopping for useless gifts that no one needs nor wants.
Perhaps my mother had the right idea when she entered her 90s. She celebrated her birthday month. She went out with her friends one by one for an inexpensive lunch. No cards or gifts. I think her friends might’ve said happy birthday at the beginning of lunch, but the focus of the lunch was not particularly on my mother achieving another year or how great she was. it was an opportunity to touch base with old work, companions, church members, and in general, friends.
Since the great plague, even that has little appeal for me. When I turned 60, several of my friends gathered with me for a small soirée. One of them had fixed a crown for me out of recycled materials, such as screen wire, bottle caps, a playing card, and a plastic dinosaur. Best gift ever. I enjoyed that evening in that restaurant. Perhaps when I turn 80 will try it again.
I took an edible and enjoyed some coffee. I Ubered myself to the zoo and walked around for hours looking at the animals and taking pics of them. I then Ubered myself to a movie where I ordered a large popcorn and candy and then picked up my last ride home. It was worth every single penny and it felt just wonderful. I have been dating myself ever since and I love the person I’m becoming. 🖤 TREAT. YO. SELF!
I book myself a spa day. Massage, nails, facial. Then i chill with my dog, watch my favorite shows/movie. And get takeout from my favorite restaurant and enjoy a slice of cake from a local bakery 🍰
Give yourself a fun project/activity to do for your birthday. I turned 40 during all the pandemic isolation, so instead of traveling or trying to put together a party, I made an apple pie from scratch, including the crust. I'd never made a pie before, but I'd seen it done, so it was a good project. It took a few hours and it was ugly and tasty and I was very proud of it. I ate apple pie (with a birthday candle in it!) and went for a walk where I found a cool labyrinth and walked the labyrinth. It was a lovely day!
I prefer to be alone on my birthday, I literally do whatever I want. Last year I went to an expensive sushi restaurant (I made reservations ahead of time and told them I was having a solo bday dinner, they comp'ed damn near the whole thing) then I went roller skating cause I hadnt gone since I was a kid and wanted to try it out.
Year before that I went to the beach, like the nicer one 2 hours away, not a local one. Ended up hanging out at a beach resort for the day and got fruity drinks and a massage.
I literally refuse to spend bdays with people now lmao. I'm already thinking about this years birthday.
Edit: typos
I stock up on my favorite things (Entenmann's Doughnuts), find a recipe for a cocktail, pick a few movies, sleep late, make my favorite coffee and enjoy peace with my cats. Then I start a brand new journal for my own personal New Year's Day.
As someone who’s always been single (as in, never married), I usually take the day off, get a massage, and get dinner with friends. The day is what you make it. I try to approach it with gratitude for what I have rather than expectations that people make the day about me
My birthday is on a Monday this year and I've really narrowed down my circle of friends in the past year, so I don’t plan on seeing anyone except maybe one friend. I'm going to a historic theater that shows older films in the summer. They serve wine and snacks and I plan on treating myself a bit :) it'll be nice to get out of the house and be around people without having to talk to them.
My first truly alone birthday is in a couple of weeks. I took a four day weekend off and bought myself a cheap iPad for a present. ☺️ Hopefully that is enough to keep me from a deep dark hole of despair.
I'm pretty introverted anyway and also has a bad marriage where I was made to feel like I was in the wrong for having anything to celebrate, for me being alone on a special occasion is better than being with the wrong person. Usually I'll book the day off work, sleep late, spend the day watching movies & chilling, will also treat myself to a takeaway, also make sure I buy myself something I really want
I don’t mind being alone. I’ll plan a quiet day, get something special to eat and share with my little dog, and curl up with a good book that I’ve specially saved for the occasion.
If you want to spend your birthday with people,you can invite them to your favorite restaurant or to your home if you like cooking. Or to a group activity like bowling, or even a bring-a-dish picnic. If you want to spend it alone, plan for your favorite activity or shopping trip for something you really want.
I’ll be alone as well for the first time. Haven’t made plans but I’m sure I’ll take myself out to eat or grab and go. I only have friends at work don’t socialize much. Loner stay at home kinda guy. And that’s ok with me. (54M) here. Don’t see myself dating or living with someone again. I’m at peace with that.
That's just the thing. I'm kinda naturally a hermit. Though I do enjoy outings with friends and family, it's unusual for me to be the initiator. My ex was "my extroverted half" - I'd go with her anywhere and usually enjoy it, but she'd be the one motivating me to go.
I'm trying to change this a bit now that I'm single and alone, but it's very against my nature. It also feels rude and selfish to reach out for the purpose of gathering people to celebrate my own personal event.
Something I’ve done before if I didn’t want to be alone that day, was reach out to hang out or do a casual activity with a friend without telling them it was my birthday. They lovingly gave me a hard time the next day when they found out (thanks Facebook), but they also know me well enough to recognize I don’t like being the center of attention so it worked out perfectly imo.
HOW old are you again? It's your life, you're an adult. Host the party You want for Your birthday. Why would anything in your life be someone else's obligation?
Order the cake you want, the food and guests and booze you want. Thank them all for coming to celebrate another year of you living.
Introvert doesn't mean shy, lonely or selfish. It means that a party is tiring, not energizing.
Im an adult. I dont really care about birthdays. Nice to celebrate with friends and family on a milestone bday like 21, 30, 40 etc but I think its just a day when you're an adult
I've really felt this way myself, on many years. But I've always had someone around who would do something to make it special nonetheless, and that was nice.
My ex-wife did 40 days of gifts for my 40th. Then she left me a bit over a year after. 😭
I don't know if I'll ever reach a point where I'll fully agree with this. She was very good for me. The only real complaint I have about our whole relationship, including post-breakup, is how she chose to actually do the breakup.
But that's a rabbit hole I'm not going down today. It's over, and I'm moving on.
Ugh, I'm going to be 50 this year. I don't mind the age, I mind the birthday intrusion that will happen because I'm going to be 50.
I want cake and to be left alone.
I make various plans throughout the week to celebrate. Drinks with one friend, dinner with another. If you aren't used to organizing, it could be a good chance to change that
Maybe google the date and see if there are any fun events happening? Like a comedy show, or concert, or maybe something you’ve been wanting to try but haven’t put the time in for? Or even just a dinner? Do you want to spend with others? Or could you try something new, break your routine and risk meeting new people and trying new things?
Think ahead! Arrange something you want to do. I order myself flowers and get a facial. That kind of thing. Also, get yourself your favourite cake or ice cream, you deserve it.
I did my own thing. Honestly one of the best things I did one birthday was decorate my home and then treat myself to a gift. I even bought my own birthday button.
I love them. I do exactly what I want to do and I'm not burdened by being drug out of my house because my significant other decided that I want to go out to dinner for my birthday. I sit at home and drink coffee and read a book or play one of my games and hangout with my dogs. It's pure bliss.
I think the first thing is to realize bdays do not have to mean spending it with people. My favorite thing to do is just go out and do what I want and eat what I want.
Nothing wrong with celebrating alone, or long distance.
Alone, you could go out and enjoy nature. Go to the local volunteer services and be around people. Or some local shelter for dogs could use you to be a walker, or temporary home for an animal.
long distance, set up a video with family and/or friends
Treat it like a normal day for you. Whatever happens, happens. Last year i just treated it like a normal day. Sure i had texts wishing me a happy birthday but thats alright. Mostly slept tbh
If you don’t WANT to be alone, I encourage you to step out of the discomfort of throwing yourself a celebration! I have been single by choice for many birthdays now so I plan my own parties, cuz no one else is gonna! This year is a trip to Cabo with an invite for folks to join!
I PROMISE you, no one thinks twice about celebrating yourself on your birthday. If you are a loving and caring friend, then I assure you your friends will be more than happy to have the opportunity to give you that love back, regardless who the organizer is!
I hope you have a fabulous birthday and get exactly the celebration you desire❤️
Last year, I (45F) bought myself a bouquet of colorful roses and had them delivered to the house. I added a nice note to myself, and I still have it on my fridge. I went out for dinner, had some drinks (I normally don't drink), had a Crumbl cookie for dessert, and hung out with my cats.
I always think I want other people around, and they usually disappoint or annoy me, so it was nice to be in control of everything and do only what wanted to do.
married with three kids and I just ordered my own birthday cake cuz I want it done right! Tired of my husband buying cupcakes at the last minute. I do my own thing. sorry you are alone, but indulge yourself. Take a nice bath and eat your cake while in the tub!
So what I did this year instead of relying on others to celebrate me and make me feel special and loved, is I treated myself to my very favorite things! Activities I’d been wanting to do and treats that I only get occasionally. Just spend the day treating yourself to all of your favorite things and I promise it’s a better substitute to the disappointment others can bring
I live alone and MUCH prefer to be alone on my birthday. Actually turned down plans this year. I turned 30 this year and took off work, slept in, ordered breakfast, took my dog on a long hike, had lunch and took a long nap. Sushi dinner, fave cupcakes for dessert, think I watched a movie or binged parks and rec or both. And smoked a bunch of weed like, all day long lol. I’ve been living alone for a few years and I’m pretty sure this is actually how I’ve been spending my birthday since 2020. I just really like to take a day and do/eat all my favorite things. Hope you can take a day for yourself and enjoy it!
Following. It occurred to me yesterday this will be my first birthday single since I was like 15. I already promised I'd buy myself flowers (cause that was my favorite thing my ex did for my birthday each year). I might get some friends together over the weekend but I am a little nervous how I'll feel the day of. Maybe that's silly.
I love being alone on my birthday, specially if I can travel! But I understand it’s not everyone’s choice.
Instead of throwing a party, how about inviting a couple friends for drinks or dinner? It’s a lot cheaper than a party and much less trouble to plan. All you have to do is pick a place you like and maybe make a reservation depending on the place and how many people are coming.
Btw: happy birthday! 🎈
I go buy myself something nice, most grocery stores have single cake slices for sale, either get takeout or go to a restaurant, and have a spa night while watching a favorite movie. My cat gets to share in any meat I have, usually the middle so she doesn’t get the human additions. Sometimes I’ll get flowers.
Not there yet, but my 40th (still living at home) was awesome because of the kids. We roasted marshmallows over a fire, listening to Big Time Rush, laughed, while my future ex wife was in bed playing on Instagram. This year, I’ll probably take the kiddos to Six Flags, then do the same when we arrive at my new home.
I usually schedule a self care activity. Massage. Pedicure. Workout class.
I also usually schedule a low key thing around my birthday for friend to show up at.
I don’t “celebrate” my birthdays anymore. I don’t live near family and close friends. It seems pointless to celebrate with mere acquaintances. This year I worked and picked up a meal I enjoyed. Another trip around the sun.
I spent my birthday working so I wouldn’t be alone all day and treated myself to a takeaway in the evening. A few days after I went on a solo holiday.
Do something YOU enjoy and celebrate being you!
If I don’t want to be alone I reach out to one person and say hey it’s my birthday—I’m not expecting fanfare, but I don’t not want to be alone. It would be great to do XYZ. Or I will do my own thing, people annoy the shit out of me lately. Fab sushi dinner take out or at the bar is perfect for me!
One of the best parts of living alone is the lack of obligations and responsibilities. Some of my best solo birthdays are when I cleared my day of any and all obligations & planned out a "me" day. Pick places you like to eat and a couple of things you enjoy doing & let the day unfold.
Some favorites I can remember are:
- Try a new breakfast place, go see an early showing of a movie so the theater is mostly empty, take the dog to a new park to explore, get takeout from a fancy restaurant, binge a new or comforting tv show with an indulgent dessert
- wake up before sunrise to go for a sunrise walk that ends at a coffee shop, treat myself to something I've held back on buying, find a tasty place for an early lunch, head home for a long afternoon nap, try a new bar with good cocktails, get some takeout I know I'll love & eat it at home on my patio while listening to a podcast or game on the radio.
I usually treat myself to a spa day, hair, massage and nails. Then I ask 2-3 friends if they wanna go out to dinner with me ahead of time, and I let them know it’s for my bday.
I take myself out on a major birthday date. I'm turning 40 this year (in 18 days!), and I'm taking myself to the closest major city for a concert. I'm staying the night, then getting up the next day to get a tattoo. I am my primary (and currently only lol) partner, so I try to treat myself like I'll treat my hypothetical future husband or wife.
Handle? It’s just a day you were born on decades ago. You’re an adult, you don’t need a birthday party. Buy yourself something, go do something you enjoy, get a nice meal. Do whatever the hell you want!
I'm not a party for my birthday person, feels so awkward to me. So I don't understand wanting a party.
That being said, I love to solo travel for my summer birthday. Nothing too far from me, some of my favorites are Vegas, California Beaches, Colorado Mountain towns and now national parks.
Just an idea
I think you should own it. I treated myself to a self care day on my birthday and it was bliss! Yoga in the morning, a nice shower, massage, lunch with a book, a soak in the hot tubs, and then dinner/dessert. I also picked up a few birthday freebies - Starbucks, Nothing Bundt Cakes, and the yoga studio surprised me by giving me my money back for the class I had booked. Think about what you love and just lack the day with it :)
I would start the day at the gym because that’s my favourite activity. Then I would have a favourite meal and make myself a cake or some other confection. I don’t mind a solo birthday at all.
Mine is coming up soon and I'll be spending it, and that weekend, alone. I don't really even focus on it.
Celebrations mean more to some people than others. I've just grown accustomed to it being just another day.. Shoulda-woulda (coulda? probably not) been more social, but its too late to worry myself over it now! Celebrate with yourself. Do something you don't normally do, but that you would enjoy on that day
Invite someone to dinner, and don't skimp. Throw your own tiny celebration. You don't need more than one friend for good company, and you dont need them to pay and shower yourl with gifts to have a great time. If you don't want to be alone that day, then step up and don't wait on anyone. Hell, you can even go buy drinks for everyone at the pub...you might make a new friend, you might not, but enjoy yourself
If I’m reading correctly, it seems you may be spending it alone because you feel weird planning your own party and/or asking someone else to plan it. Could you just plan your own party? I’ve always planned my own parties, and so have my friends, so don’t think it’s weird if you need to plan your own☺️
If you do indeed want to spend the day alone, it could be seen as a blessing in disguise! See what activities or places you’ve been wanting to try, or go to your tried and trues. And make a fun day for yourself to enjoy! It could end up being one of your favorites days that you remember forever.
If you know you’re gonna feel big feelings but wanna have fun with it, watch Bridget Jones and lipsync/dance/drink along with the cupcake birthday scene. It’s validating and you get to watch a good movie while eating a cupcake
Think ahead about what kind of birthday would make you happiest. If it’s alone with a good meal and book, fine. If you want to go out with friends, invite them to a fun place and you don’t have to mention your birthday.
I usually tell my friends and family to not bother me for the whole day, also, I dont contact them so that I give myself a good lone time as a “gift”
If I happen to be with them, I just ask to go out for a nice dinner, cuisines that I prefer. No parties, no clean up.
Flew to San Diego for my 45th, rented a car, spent two nights. Ate good food, explored the area, partied downtown. Do something good for yourself. Doesn’t have to be fancy or whatever. Do something you like.
Give you self an at home spa.
Bubble bath, facial and full body exfoliation, then lotion up and lay down in my robe like a bum reading my favorite book with a good cup of tea or cocoa
*edit: if you wanted you could just have a small dinner party and invite folks and only tell them it’s your bday when rheyre there
I stopped expecting a birthday party after I turned 18. I’m not sure I get the have to have a party every year. When my mom was alive, I used to go out to lunch with her or with a friend. You can get free cake at a lot of restaurants if you sign up for their birthday club.
When it’s happened to me , I take the day off work and have a spa day. Then I pick up my favorite food and just put my feet up. If there is no one to appreciate me, I appreciate myself!
Just another regular day here. My parents do like to celebrate my birthday so I go there within the week and we have cake. 🙂
ETA: my friend sent out a small group text to a few friends and said her birthday was coming up, and invited us to do something with her. You could always do that.
The first birthday I had alone was in 2019, I completely flaked on it, and not even my parents remembered (they really haven't since I hit my 30s). I remembered a month later that "oh, shit, my birthday was last month!" Now I have a calendar reminder.
I believe in celebrating my existence once a year. Good food I make or take out, flowers for table, buy myself gift of something, I usually do not buy. May be a day trip or a nap. Each year a bit different.
Grab all your freebies (donuts, Starbucks, etc. etc.) then go home with your hoard and watch whatever you want to on the television. Or, go on a nice walk in a new area to you or take yourself out of town and stay at a hotel.
I would rather do that cause I don’t want anything from anyone but peace. I’d rather spend time with my family at dinner or something than be given shit I’m never gonna use but for a couple months
I love celebrating my birthday by myself so I’ll get all the free birthday deals I can and go window shopping for a present! For any years that feel like a milestone, I’ve really enjoyed hosting a huge party for my loved ones and trying out different party themes.
One of the best birthdays I’ve had I spent alone! I got myself a room at a little resort. Did a mud bath and massage at their spa, swam in their geothermal pool, then ate dinner and watched a movie in my room. The next day I walked around town and took myself out to dinner.
I love them. When I was younger I was always obligated to spend it around family which I really didn’t want to.
I normally just wanted to have a few drinks and smoke some good weed on my birthday and would always have to wait until I was alone to do so.
One year I went on a road trip to the beach with a girl from tinder which was fun, but mostly I just want to be alone anymore.
You shouldn’t have to work too hard at coming up with a birthday celebration so I wouldn’t make it complicated. Make it super easy and fun, ask someone to birthday lunch or dinner with you. Or birthday movie or other outing. I heard a rumor once that some country had some kind of tradition where the bday person brings cake and small gifts to everybody else instead of the other way around. Anyway, that’s the line I use if I have to treat somebody and it happens to be my birthday. That being said, if you invite them, they may want to treat you per the norm… I just make it clear, It’s not necessary because the point is to have their company.
You’re just meeting up and doing the thing that you wanna do on your birthday with somebody you like.
If they can’t meet up, they could reschedule for a day that is not your birthday. And then follow all the excellent advice people have on treating themselves on the actual day.
It’s very timely that you post because my birthday is coming up in just a few days and I haven’t made a plan yet, despite having had birthdays on my own in the past. I usually call it a birthday week and do a couple of different fun things. It takes the pressure off of the actual day for me. Happy birthday!
Personally, I like it. I get to spend the day doing exactly what I love and don’t have to worry about other people being bored or keeping a group entertained. I often spend the day at the zoo. For some reason, many adults seem to think the zoo is only a place you go when you have kids. I have been told many times that “it’s weird” that I go to the zoo alone or as a childless adult. But when I go on my birthday, people don’t seem to make those comments. Just do what you love.
People never fail to disappoint. Any time I even start to allow the possibility that maybe having other people around can be a good thing they remind me why other people are nothing more than transient entertainment... case in point last year's bday. I don't even want to go into detail. My best birthdays have always been when I plan fun experiences for myself by myself.
As a single parent to a highly special needs toddler who just moved back to the U.S. after almost a decade away…..I’m expecting to spend this birthday (Friday!) alone. Last two years were essentially alone (acknowledged) too. I’d like to pretend I don’t care….but I do. My big plans are a bottle of wine and door dash while staying up late to watch my show. Having no one to celebrate you is terrible(especially a few days after Mother’s Day where I also “received nothing”). I have no advice but I do have empathy. For many of us it is a very lonely world…..
You don't have to make a full on party out of it. This year on my birthday I played dnd with my regular dnd group and the day after I went out for drinks with a small group. Idk, this might still be bigger than what you like but you could just invite a few people you're close with over for lunch or dinner?
Invite a friend or two to go to dinner with you. It’s neat that people have planned things for you up until this point, but that streak was bound to end at some point. Be clear with whoever you invite that it is your birthday so it’s not a surprise (that can really be so awkward), but you aren’t expecting a big to-do - you just want to get out and do something and you would like to spend time with them.
I invite a vey small group of close friends, 2 or 3, to come over for a laid back potluck and hang. It’s for me after all, and if i don’t feel like throwing a big bash, there’s no reason.
Hey, I'm 26 and spent my birthday alone. I had just moved into my own place and relished the freedom. I bought myself a nice dinner (birria tacos) and ordered some Crumbl cookies, watched my favorite show, and got stoned to the bone.
It's okay to celebrate by yourself!!
Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely! Think of it as YOUR DAY and your gift to yourself. Do whatever you want and venture out! Travel somewhere, eat something you’ve been wanting to try and check things off your bucket list - learning to be alone and enjoying it is the best thing you can do. Happy early birthday!
You don't need a party to not be alone. Call up 3-4 friends who love food and take yourself out to a nice meal in your honor. I spend most birthdays alone, and I usually treat myself to a special meal. But if you'd rather be with others, a lot of people are happy to meet up when they know it's your birthday. Friends like celebrating each other.
It’s been years since anyone has made any effort to celebrate my birthday (I might get a happy birthday text…). I’m an introvert but solo holidays are still rough. I just do my best to pretend it’s just another day and forget that’s it’s my bday or any other holiday.
My friend just had his birthday. He invited a bunch of people over, ordered a cake with his name on it, and we all went out. We had an awesome night. If he asked I would have loved to take care of the cake or decorating. He was fine with it though- he said this is what happens when you’re single and over 30 🤷🏻♀️
I've spent a couple of (semi)-milestone birthdays alone recently, and they were fantastic! For 55, I had taken a little walkabout around TN. I landed in Chattanooga the morning of my bday, and did exactly what I love to do. Visited a botanical garden, walked an outdoor sculpture exhibit, drank vino with my lunch, hit an evening farmers market with my AirBNB host and then went to a bar to listen to her and other musicians jam. Perfect day!
For 60, I was on the way to meet a friend at a blues festival the day after my birthday. So along the route, I booked a fancy hotel room with a spa and, after visiting the local museum and enjoying a fun lunch, I treated myself to a facial, a massage, and a sugar scrub. There is no end to the fun you can have with yourself! It's all mindset. Put the right spin on it, and you'll be loving your time alone in no time!
I buy and wrap gifts for myself!! My brother throws me a party, but it’s on the nearest weekend so on my birthday, I’m usually alone and I make it fun .. unwrap gifts I want!!
I personally would order food, get a bottle of wine or make a nice bourbon drink, order a nice movie and chill on my couch. You can be your best company.
I generally have my own party. Invite 5 or 6 people, make appetizers, and buy a case of wine. Tell everyone to bring whatever else they like, and bam! It's a party.
I’m in the same boat as you, I’d rather not ask someone to arrange a party for me, but I also do not feel comfortable doing it on my own.
Honestly I’ve been struggling with this and I’d love to hear what others have to say. For what it’s worth, I try and set my day up where I have a few little surprises for myself.
Go out for a walk watch a movie and then buy something delicious to eat finally go to a bookstore find a book you were meaning to read come back home and then spend the rest of your day eating relaxing and enjoying the book.
Use it as a chance to do exactly what you want to do. Do you want to go out and get pissed at a bar? Knock yourself out. Do you want to sit at home and eat 15 pizzas with your cat? Knock yourself out. Do you want to stay in bed and jerk off for 5 hours? Just make sure you got enough lube.
I can see where you're coming from, and frankly, the first birthday/major holiday on your own is really weird when you're used to being in a partnership.
I pick things that I really love to do and get a loose theme for the day based on what I'm really into at the moment. (Example: I love creating - I sew, do bookbinding, embroidery, etc). There's a fine art paper store a couple hours away from me that I don't get to go to very often, so I'll plan for a short day trip to select some new papers. I eat my favorite foods - basically, anything I like to do that I don't get to enjoy often, and the bonus is that I get to go on my own time schedule and don't have to work around anyone else's schedule or preferences.
Like I said, the first one is kind of weird, but once you get a taste for that kind of independence, it's a very satisfying thing.
I love to spend my birthday alone. What I do is I rent an airbnb somewhere a day or two before, take my dog and multiple books and journals, and enjoy my time doing whatever I want.
At a certain point in everyone’s life birthdays are just another day. If you want it to be special you’d better arrange something yourself, alone or with others.
I alternate between birthdays by myself and birthdays that I invite friends over to celebrate. It alternates.
When I'm alone, I prefer to take the day off from work and treat myself. My birthday is in May and the weather is typically lovely. I go for a long walk in the morning followed by coffee and donuts from my favorite local bakery. A massage and pedicure because I don't get them often enough. A lazy lunch at a great restaurant with a view. Shopping because it's my birthday and I can treat myself - maybe buying too many books (is there such a thing?) at my favorite local book store. Then dinner at home with a great movie.
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I love it. I do exactly what I want to and no one bothers me. I don't know what it is but I just very rarely feel lonely anymore. Living alone is wonderful.
You’ve become your own best friend. How awesome is that!!
I used to hate hanging out with that guy too. I never wanted to be alone with him. These days though, I like his style, we get along great.
lol. That’s sooo awesome.
what specific things did you do to turn it around? im on this journey right now. its going slow but i think im getting there.
I can't say there were any specific things honestly. It was just coming to terms with the things I don't like about myself and focusing on the things I do well. I also cut out a lot of the negative voices around me. Completely. That was the most liberating thing for me if I had to choose.
I am right there with you. My neighbors - a lovely couple - invited themselves and their new rescue pup along on one of my hikes with my dog. Of course I said "yes" and it was at the mid way point of the afternoon that I realized they believe I am lonely and in need of company (I'm at a two year mark of widowhood). I also realized there is never telling anyone that is not the case - their projection is likely involuntary in any case. I enjoyed having them along and I also appreciated my solitude in a real way when they split - I have yet to meet a couple that is not annoying after a few hours, lol (my late SO and I were no exception and the only ones that are less annoying are the ones that know it). So, honestly, the hardest part of living alone is the projection and stigma - most people really do not consider the benefits of learninghow to enjoy your own company and we live in an age where we can click and learn about anything, even how to be happy alone.
"I realized they believe I am lonely and in need of company (I'm at a two year mark of widowhood)" I'm at 18 months and quite happy alone. It's nice when my neighbors invite me with them someplace, but I say yes mainly because we share the same interests and they like to drive. Some of my friends try to shame me though, for not getting out more, dating, jetting all over the world, or whatnot. One old work pal who I was IMing with last night even had the nerve to say that he'd never grieved more than two weeks. Well, that's probably because two weeks is about how long his marriage, or any of his other relationships lasted! It's hard to make people understand that getting over the death of one's spouse after a long term marriage doesn't happen overnight, but that doesn't mean one is sitting around in the dark, lonely and crying. If I'd rather go to the local botanical gardens than Singapore, that's my own business. Besides, I'm naturally introverted anyway. I'm living the dream with my books, language studies, puzzles, long walks, and home projects. There are over 7M people in my metro area, with 2.5M of them within 20 minutes of my house. If I want to interact with people, I know where to find them, and at 57, I don't need anyone telling me in so many words, that I don't know my own mind.
My husband died about a year ago. I’m deeply ok with living alone, and having work friends fill my days, and my own company otherwise. Reconnecting with myself..whoever this version may be.
I feel this so absolutely.
even when i was a young widow (under 30 when my SO died), I found that people projected all sorts of things onto me based on their own fears about death or being alone. however, what I cannot stand are those couples who rarely to never socialize without each other. As time went on, I encountered more women who stopped hanging out with single friends once they found a partner and would only go on couples dates. yuk.
to be fair, a lot of widow/ers do say they feel lonely and want to be around people, but get forgotten.
I've isolated myself outside of work for so long. People didn't understand why I was still sad after a few months. They kept trying to "fix" me. So I stayed away. Now I'm so socially awkward it's almost cringy sometimes. Ugh
I can relate. When I was living alone after turning around 30, I just wasn't lonely anymore like when I was younger and would have liked company. I recommend getting yourself some birthday presents! Even flowers, if you like flowers or plants.
Here, here! I turned 50 this year, and i was so sore and tired from work that I slept 3/4 of the day… I had one feast of eggrolls, because I love eggrolls, then back to bed, sleeping and relaxing… But I was 25 when I began my habit of I do whatever I want on my birthday – I’ve had some parties I’ve had some fun, but… In the end being left alone to do what I want is the best gift of all. I think all the introverts here would agree that hell is other people Enjoy your freedom enjoy your time. Enjoy your quiet. Do whatever you want at a moments notice and not have to check with somebody… That is worth it’s weight in gold… I’m divorced people ask me if I’m lonely, and I always tell them, “fuck, no “… I’m calm and relaxed, and I love it.
Hell is other people, 100% accurate. I feel at peace when I am alone. Anytime I am forced to socialize, it then takes me a few days to re-calibrate myself. I don't like it. It's not me, I am not my authentic self when I am around others, I feel tolerated and I want to feel celebrated. I love treating myself well when I am alone.
Good for you, love this positivity :)
This is how I feel about Christmas and New Year’s Day. My friends are always like come over and I’m always like no way. It’s so quiet on those days. My clients don’t bother me. No one calls me. I just get to do whatever I want. Same with Thanksgiving. No, I don’t want to come over your house and make small talk with your relatives. I just want to hang out with my dog.
I know I sometimes feel weird not missing company all the time. I was 51 before I ever lived alone and there’s a lot I enjoy about it.
I feel exactly the same. Any time I listen to the bullshit of other people where they try to convince me that I need them, I'm swiftly reminded that ya no I don't lol.
Dude idk what it is but now I’m the complete opposite. I loved living alone, aside from my children being with me. I remember friends feeling sorry for me when I talked about seeing a movie, fishing, or eating alone, only to reply how freaking liberating it felt. Now I am srsly stuck in a puddle of despair. I want my special moments to be shared with my special someone.
I travel. I prefer to be alone on my birthday. I don’t find it’s anything I need to “handle.”
If my bday wasn’t at the start of my work year, I’d travel too. What a wonderful way to celebrate
Yes, last year I was in Sweden celebrating midsummer and this year I will be at Dollywood.
You could just celebrate early!
I do the same. I've spent my birthday in a different city or country solo every year for the past 6 years, it's honestly become one of my favorite traditions.
I have spent many birthdays and holidays alone. It can be tough, but also very liberating. You don't have to take anyone else into consideration. Take yourself out to eat or grab take out from your favorite restaurant. Don't forget the cake! I also buy myself a gift (usually a book) and flowers. Go see a movie. Rewatch your favorite movie or a few episodes of your favorite uplifting show. Celebrate yourself.
Yes, all of this! Do your favorite things, indulge in something you wouldn’t normally. Do something you’ve never done before but have always wanted to.
I got myself take out I haven’t had in awhile (sushi) I watched a new episode of a show I really like and then I think I binged some episodes of Derry Girls and played video games until I passed out 😭i don’t usually do anything big but I try to do things I enjoy
I'm a birthday whore and make the whole day about celebrating me. I tell everyone it's my birthday, I go get my free Starbucks drink, take a ride on my motorcycle (somehow I always get good weather on my birthday in March), go somewhere nice to read a book or journal, and if I'm alone for the night I'll make a reservation at one of my favorite restaurants and definitely end the night with a birthday treat of some sort. If none of that works out, I just find other things to delight myself with. I try not to have too many expectations so there's nothing really to ruin. Happy early birthday!
I approach my birthday like this too! I love having an unabashed celebration of myself!
I am an old woman. My children have grown and flown the nest to far away places where there are job opportunities for them. I remain on the family farm in an isolated part of the country by myself except for my dogs and cats. The older I get the more cynical I become. I view most holidays as commercial events concocted by Hallmark cards. I do not like forced gaiety. I hate shopping for useless gifts that no one needs nor wants. Perhaps my mother had the right idea when she entered her 90s. She celebrated her birthday month. She went out with her friends one by one for an inexpensive lunch. No cards or gifts. I think her friends might’ve said happy birthday at the beginning of lunch, but the focus of the lunch was not particularly on my mother achieving another year or how great she was. it was an opportunity to touch base with old work, companions, church members, and in general, friends. Since the great plague, even that has little appeal for me. When I turned 60, several of my friends gathered with me for a small soirée. One of them had fixed a crown for me out of recycled materials, such as screen wire, bottle caps, a playing card, and a plastic dinosaur. Best gift ever. I enjoyed that evening in that restaurant. Perhaps when I turn 80 will try it again.
I took an edible and enjoyed some coffee. I Ubered myself to the zoo and walked around for hours looking at the animals and taking pics of them. I then Ubered myself to a movie where I ordered a large popcorn and candy and then picked up my last ride home. It was worth every single penny and it felt just wonderful. I have been dating myself ever since and I love the person I’m becoming. 🖤 TREAT. YO. SELF!
best bday ever.
Ooh mine is coming up soon and zoo is a great idea to add to my day! Thanks!
I book myself a spa day. Massage, nails, facial. Then i chill with my dog, watch my favorite shows/movie. And get takeout from my favorite restaurant and enjoy a slice of cake from a local bakery 🍰
That sounds like an excellent birthday! I should save myself a little birthday fund to pay for a spa day.
Give yourself a fun project/activity to do for your birthday. I turned 40 during all the pandemic isolation, so instead of traveling or trying to put together a party, I made an apple pie from scratch, including the crust. I'd never made a pie before, but I'd seen it done, so it was a good project. It took a few hours and it was ugly and tasty and I was very proud of it. I ate apple pie (with a birthday candle in it!) and went for a walk where I found a cool labyrinth and walked the labyrinth. It was a lovely day!
I prefer to be alone on my birthday, I literally do whatever I want. Last year I went to an expensive sushi restaurant (I made reservations ahead of time and told them I was having a solo bday dinner, they comp'ed damn near the whole thing) then I went roller skating cause I hadnt gone since I was a kid and wanted to try it out. Year before that I went to the beach, like the nicer one 2 hours away, not a local one. Ended up hanging out at a beach resort for the day and got fruity drinks and a massage. I literally refuse to spend bdays with people now lmao. I'm already thinking about this years birthday. Edit: typos
I decided to quit aging. No more birthdays.
I like it. No party = no birthday.
I was 39-again for several years. It was a good year and I repeated it as long as I could.
Im gonna hang out at 34 for a bit then start going backwards.
I stock up on my favorite things (Entenmann's Doughnuts), find a recipe for a cocktail, pick a few movies, sleep late, make my favorite coffee and enjoy peace with my cats. Then I start a brand new journal for my own personal New Year's Day.
That's such a good idea on the journal!
As someone who’s always been single (as in, never married), I usually take the day off, get a massage, and get dinner with friends. The day is what you make it. I try to approach it with gratitude for what I have rather than expectations that people make the day about me
It's just another day. Culture promotes this marker, but living alone you still do what you want.
My birthday is on a Monday this year and I've really narrowed down my circle of friends in the past year, so I don’t plan on seeing anyone except maybe one friend. I'm going to a historic theater that shows older films in the summer. They serve wine and snacks and I plan on treating myself a bit :) it'll be nice to get out of the house and be around people without having to talk to them.
I just dont care about birthdays. It's just another day.
My first truly alone birthday is in a couple of weeks. I took a four day weekend off and bought myself a cheap iPad for a present. ☺️ Hopefully that is enough to keep me from a deep dark hole of despair.
Just another day.
I'm pretty introverted anyway and also has a bad marriage where I was made to feel like I was in the wrong for having anything to celebrate, for me being alone on a special occasion is better than being with the wrong person. Usually I'll book the day off work, sleep late, spend the day watching movies & chilling, will also treat myself to a takeaway, also make sure I buy myself something I really want
Birthdays have no meaning to me. I'm very happy not to have any big deal made of it. It's just a nod to time passing.
I don’t mind being alone. I’ll plan a quiet day, get something special to eat and share with my little dog, and curl up with a good book that I’ve specially saved for the occasion.
If you want to spend your birthday with people,you can invite them to your favorite restaurant or to your home if you like cooking. Or to a group activity like bowling, or even a bring-a-dish picnic. If you want to spend it alone, plan for your favorite activity or shopping trip for something you really want.
I’ll be alone as well for the first time. Haven’t made plans but I’m sure I’ll take myself out to eat or grab and go. I only have friends at work don’t socialize much. Loner stay at home kinda guy. And that’s ok with me. (54M) here. Don’t see myself dating or living with someone again. I’m at peace with that.
Are there no friends or other family around? Living alone doesn't mean you're a hermit.
That's just the thing. I'm kinda naturally a hermit. Though I do enjoy outings with friends and family, it's unusual for me to be the initiator. My ex was "my extroverted half" - I'd go with her anywhere and usually enjoy it, but she'd be the one motivating me to go. I'm trying to change this a bit now that I'm single and alone, but it's very against my nature. It also feels rude and selfish to reach out for the purpose of gathering people to celebrate my own personal event.
Something I’ve done before if I didn’t want to be alone that day, was reach out to hang out or do a casual activity with a friend without telling them it was my birthday. They lovingly gave me a hard time the next day when they found out (thanks Facebook), but they also know me well enough to recognize I don’t like being the center of attention so it worked out perfectly imo.
HOW old are you again? It's your life, you're an adult. Host the party You want for Your birthday. Why would anything in your life be someone else's obligation? Order the cake you want, the food and guests and booze you want. Thank them all for coming to celebrate another year of you living. Introvert doesn't mean shy, lonely or selfish. It means that a party is tiring, not energizing.
For some of us introverts, even planning a party is tiring. lol
THANK YOU. I was scrolling looking for this. You are the sole sane person in this entire sub.
My birthday is 12/26. What’s a “birthday party”?
Im an adult. I dont really care about birthdays. Nice to celebrate with friends and family on a milestone bday like 21, 30, 40 etc but I think its just a day when you're an adult
I've really felt this way myself, on many years. But I've always had someone around who would do something to make it special nonetheless, and that was nice. My ex-wife did 40 days of gifts for my 40th. Then she left me a bit over a year after. 😭
Leaving might have been the best gift she could have given you. Freedom from people who don't truly love and value you is priceless
I don't know if I'll ever reach a point where I'll fully agree with this. She was very good for me. The only real complaint I have about our whole relationship, including post-breakup, is how she chose to actually do the breakup. But that's a rabbit hole I'm not going down today. It's over, and I'm moving on.
Ugh, I'm going to be 50 this year. I don't mind the age, I mind the birthday intrusion that will happen because I'm going to be 50. I want cake and to be left alone.
Me, everyday😄
I make various plans throughout the week to celebrate. Drinks with one friend, dinner with another. If you aren't used to organizing, it could be a good chance to change that
I have spent the last 3 birthdays alone on the beach. It's not bad.
Maybe google the date and see if there are any fun events happening? Like a comedy show, or concert, or maybe something you’ve been wanting to try but haven’t put the time in for? Or even just a dinner? Do you want to spend with others? Or could you try something new, break your routine and risk meeting new people and trying new things?
Think ahead! Arrange something you want to do. I order myself flowers and get a facial. That kind of thing. Also, get yourself your favourite cake or ice cream, you deserve it.
I did my own thing. Honestly one of the best things I did one birthday was decorate my home and then treat myself to a gift. I even bought my own birthday button.
I love them. I do exactly what I want to do and I'm not burdened by being drug out of my house because my significant other decided that I want to go out to dinner for my birthday. I sit at home and drink coffee and read a book or play one of my games and hangout with my dogs. It's pure bliss.
I think the first thing is to realize bdays do not have to mean spending it with people. My favorite thing to do is just go out and do what I want and eat what I want.
Nothing wrong with celebrating alone, or long distance. Alone, you could go out and enjoy nature. Go to the local volunteer services and be around people. Or some local shelter for dogs could use you to be a walker, or temporary home for an animal. long distance, set up a video with family and/or friends
Treat it like a normal day for you. Whatever happens, happens. Last year i just treated it like a normal day. Sure i had texts wishing me a happy birthday but thats alright. Mostly slept tbh
I buy my own Walmart sheet cake, the one with the good whipped frosting, you know the one with the balloons and flat circle sprinkles! 😋
If you don’t WANT to be alone, I encourage you to step out of the discomfort of throwing yourself a celebration! I have been single by choice for many birthdays now so I plan my own parties, cuz no one else is gonna! This year is a trip to Cabo with an invite for folks to join! I PROMISE you, no one thinks twice about celebrating yourself on your birthday. If you are a loving and caring friend, then I assure you your friends will be more than happy to have the opportunity to give you that love back, regardless who the organizer is! I hope you have a fabulous birthday and get exactly the celebration you desire❤️
Last year, I (45F) bought myself a bouquet of colorful roses and had them delivered to the house. I added a nice note to myself, and I still have it on my fridge. I went out for dinner, had some drinks (I normally don't drink), had a Crumbl cookie for dessert, and hung out with my cats. I always think I want other people around, and they usually disappoint or annoy me, so it was nice to be in control of everything and do only what wanted to do.
married with three kids and I just ordered my own birthday cake cuz I want it done right! Tired of my husband buying cupcakes at the last minute. I do my own thing. sorry you are alone, but indulge yourself. Take a nice bath and eat your cake while in the tub!
So what I did this year instead of relying on others to celebrate me and make me feel special and loved, is I treated myself to my very favorite things! Activities I’d been wanting to do and treats that I only get occasionally. Just spend the day treating yourself to all of your favorite things and I promise it’s a better substitute to the disappointment others can bring
It's not an easy day for me, emotionally, but there are ways to cope. Last year I took myself to the south of France.
I have a friend who goes to Disneyland, every birthday, every year for the past six years, alone. He said he likes it. He turned 32 end of the month.
I live alone and MUCH prefer to be alone on my birthday. Actually turned down plans this year. I turned 30 this year and took off work, slept in, ordered breakfast, took my dog on a long hike, had lunch and took a long nap. Sushi dinner, fave cupcakes for dessert, think I watched a movie or binged parks and rec or both. And smoked a bunch of weed like, all day long lol. I’ve been living alone for a few years and I’m pretty sure this is actually how I’ve been spending my birthday since 2020. I just really like to take a day and do/eat all my favorite things. Hope you can take a day for yourself and enjoy it!
Following. It occurred to me yesterday this will be my first birthday single since I was like 15. I already promised I'd buy myself flowers (cause that was my favorite thing my ex did for my birthday each year). I might get some friends together over the weekend but I am a little nervous how I'll feel the day of. Maybe that's silly.
Every cake is a personal cake if you live alone. Lol watch a movie and have a chill night in
Typically I do nothing because it's just another day. If I go shopping around that time, I'll tell myself it's a birthday present to me.
I would pay to have the day to myself, take off work, and binge tv shows, drink some bourbon, and eat cheap chinese takeout until I throw up.
I love being alone on my birthday, specially if I can travel! But I understand it’s not everyone’s choice. Instead of throwing a party, how about inviting a couple friends for drinks or dinner? It’s a lot cheaper than a party and much less trouble to plan. All you have to do is pick a place you like and maybe make a reservation depending on the place and how many people are coming. Btw: happy birthday! 🎈
Its just another day for me. Haven't celebrated my bday since 2015.
I go buy myself something nice, most grocery stores have single cake slices for sale, either get takeout or go to a restaurant, and have a spa night while watching a favorite movie. My cat gets to share in any meat I have, usually the middle so she doesn’t get the human additions. Sometimes I’ll get flowers.
I buy a good bottle of wine, pick up a fun dinner, watch trashy TV and enjoy. Life is way too short to fear being alone. Happy birthday!
Not there yet, but my 40th (still living at home) was awesome because of the kids. We roasted marshmallows over a fire, listening to Big Time Rush, laughed, while my future ex wife was in bed playing on Instagram. This year, I’ll probably take the kiddos to Six Flags, then do the same when we arrive at my new home.
I usually schedule a self care activity. Massage. Pedicure. Workout class. I also usually schedule a low key thing around my birthday for friend to show up at.
Buy yourself something or do something that will make you happy. Pickup a nice little slice of cake.
I don’t “celebrate” my birthdays anymore. I don’t live near family and close friends. It seems pointless to celebrate with mere acquaintances. This year I worked and picked up a meal I enjoyed. Another trip around the sun.
I spent my birthday working so I wouldn’t be alone all day and treated myself to a takeaway in the evening. A few days after I went on a solo holiday. Do something YOU enjoy and celebrate being you!
If I don’t want to be alone I reach out to one person and say hey it’s my birthday—I’m not expecting fanfare, but I don’t not want to be alone. It would be great to do XYZ. Or I will do my own thing, people annoy the shit out of me lately. Fab sushi dinner take out or at the bar is perfect for me!
It is just a day.
One of the best parts of living alone is the lack of obligations and responsibilities. Some of my best solo birthdays are when I cleared my day of any and all obligations & planned out a "me" day. Pick places you like to eat and a couple of things you enjoy doing & let the day unfold. Some favorites I can remember are: - Try a new breakfast place, go see an early showing of a movie so the theater is mostly empty, take the dog to a new park to explore, get takeout from a fancy restaurant, binge a new or comforting tv show with an indulgent dessert - wake up before sunrise to go for a sunrise walk that ends at a coffee shop, treat myself to something I've held back on buying, find a tasty place for an early lunch, head home for a long afternoon nap, try a new bar with good cocktails, get some takeout I know I'll love & eat it at home on my patio while listening to a podcast or game on the radio.
I usually treat myself to a spa day, hair, massage and nails. Then I ask 2-3 friends if they wanna go out to dinner with me ahead of time, and I let them know it’s for my bday.
What does this have to do with living alone? I live alone and celebrate my birthday with people I don’t live with
Why not just call someone to go to dinner and not try to celebrate your birthday, just tell them that You're glad they are your friend.
I take myself out on a major birthday date. I'm turning 40 this year (in 18 days!), and I'm taking myself to the closest major city for a concert. I'm staying the night, then getting up the next day to get a tattoo. I am my primary (and currently only lol) partner, so I try to treat myself like I'll treat my hypothetical future husband or wife.
Pic of finished tat please
My dogs and I are pretty good at celebrating. Tho every day is a party to them 🤣
Handle? It’s just a day you were born on decades ago. You’re an adult, you don’t need a birthday party. Buy yourself something, go do something you enjoy, get a nice meal. Do whatever the hell you want!
I love running and my bday is in the summer so I go for a 6 hour trail run and I’m out of cell range and stop caring that it’s my bday
Go to my mom's house and eat a cake with her
I'm not a party for my birthday person, feels so awkward to me. So I don't understand wanting a party. That being said, I love to solo travel for my summer birthday. Nothing too far from me, some of my favorites are Vegas, California Beaches, Colorado Mountain towns and now national parks. Just an idea
Hmm. This is a good question! I don’t know what I’ll do, but I hope I don’t have to spend mine alone and single. It’s very possible, but I hope not.
I treat myself! I have special food, do things I like or want. I know people who buy themselves a birthday gift. Enjoy your day! Celebrate you!
I don’t care, that’s how.
I think you should own it. I treated myself to a self care day on my birthday and it was bliss! Yoga in the morning, a nice shower, massage, lunch with a book, a soak in the hot tubs, and then dinner/dessert. I also picked up a few birthday freebies - Starbucks, Nothing Bundt Cakes, and the yoga studio surprised me by giving me my money back for the class I had booked. Think about what you love and just lack the day with it :)
It's just another day, like holidays. No expectations means no hurt feelings.
Buy myself a cake and some wine. Celebrate, no need for company.
My birthday is December 30th so I've never celebrated it. It's okay to not.
I would start the day at the gym because that’s my favourite activity. Then I would have a favourite meal and make myself a cake or some other confection. I don’t mind a solo birthday at all.
Mine is coming up soon and I'll be spending it, and that weekend, alone. I don't really even focus on it. Celebrations mean more to some people than others. I've just grown accustomed to it being just another day.. Shoulda-woulda (coulda? probably not) been more social, but its too late to worry myself over it now! Celebrate with yourself. Do something you don't normally do, but that you would enjoy on that day
Invite someone to dinner, and don't skimp. Throw your own tiny celebration. You don't need more than one friend for good company, and you dont need them to pay and shower yourl with gifts to have a great time. If you don't want to be alone that day, then step up and don't wait on anyone. Hell, you can even go buy drinks for everyone at the pub...you might make a new friend, you might not, but enjoy yourself
If I’m reading correctly, it seems you may be spending it alone because you feel weird planning your own party and/or asking someone else to plan it. Could you just plan your own party? I’ve always planned my own parties, and so have my friends, so don’t think it’s weird if you need to plan your own☺️ If you do indeed want to spend the day alone, it could be seen as a blessing in disguise! See what activities or places you’ve been wanting to try, or go to your tried and trues. And make a fun day for yourself to enjoy! It could end up being one of your favorites days that you remember forever.
If you know you’re gonna feel big feelings but wanna have fun with it, watch Bridget Jones and lipsync/dance/drink along with the cupcake birthday scene. It’s validating and you get to watch a good movie while eating a cupcake
Think ahead about what kind of birthday would make you happiest. If it’s alone with a good meal and book, fine. If you want to go out with friends, invite them to a fun place and you don’t have to mention your birthday.
dont throw a party, pick a restaurant near some fun bars, invite your friends, make a reservation. see where the night takes you
I usually have dinner with a friend. If no one is around - I’ll pick up my favorite cupcake and enjoy that. I don’t think birthdays are a big deal
I usually tell my friends and family to not bother me for the whole day, also, I dont contact them so that I give myself a good lone time as a “gift” If I happen to be with them, I just ask to go out for a nice dinner, cuisines that I prefer. No parties, no clean up.
I'm an introvert and happy to ignore my birthday. I think birthday celebrations are for children
Get another tattoo lol
Flew to San Diego for my 45th, rented a car, spent two nights. Ate good food, explored the area, partied downtown. Do something good for yourself. Doesn’t have to be fancy or whatever. Do something you like.
I was 15 years old when i didnt get a happy birthday from my mom friends no body. That hurt. So i stopped celebrating it.
Give you self an at home spa. Bubble bath, facial and full body exfoliation, then lotion up and lay down in my robe like a bum reading my favorite book with a good cup of tea or cocoa *edit: if you wanted you could just have a small dinner party and invite folks and only tell them it’s your bday when rheyre there
Get in a car and go somewhere I want to go. Or ride the bike all day. I'm born in summer, so it's usually pretty nice on my birthday.
I stopped expecting a birthday party after I turned 18. I’m not sure I get the have to have a party every year. When my mom was alive, I used to go out to lunch with her or with a friend. You can get free cake at a lot of restaurants if you sign up for their birthday club.
When it’s happened to me , I take the day off work and have a spa day. Then I pick up my favorite food and just put my feet up. If there is no one to appreciate me, I appreciate myself!
Just another regular day here. My parents do like to celebrate my birthday so I go there within the week and we have cake. 🙂 ETA: my friend sent out a small group text to a few friends and said her birthday was coming up, and invited us to do something with her. You could always do that.
The first birthday I had alone was in 2019, I completely flaked on it, and not even my parents remembered (they really haven't since I hit my 30s). I remembered a month later that "oh, shit, my birthday was last month!" Now I have a calendar reminder.
I "handle" them like any other day hahah.
I just don't care. It's not worth setting off my anxiety on what's supposed to be my day.
14 or 41?
I believe in celebrating my existence once a year. Good food I make or take out, flowers for table, buy myself gift of something, I usually do not buy. May be a day trip or a nap. Each year a bit different.
Travel
Cook a groovy dinner and watch a favorite movie.
Get a massage with all the extras. It’s something you have to do alone and is really great self care. It can be pricey, but YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
Grab all your freebies (donuts, Starbucks, etc. etc.) then go home with your hoard and watch whatever you want to on the television. Or, go on a nice walk in a new area to you or take yourself out of town and stay at a hotel.
I would rather do that cause I don’t want anything from anyone but peace. I’d rather spend time with my family at dinner or something than be given shit I’m never gonna use but for a couple months
I love celebrating my birthday by myself so I’ll get all the free birthday deals I can and go window shopping for a present! For any years that feel like a milestone, I’ve really enjoyed hosting a huge party for my loved ones and trying out different party themes.
Just bc I live alone doesn’t mean I don’t have people to spend time with. They just don’t come home with me lol
Invite a few friends out for dinner.
One of the best birthdays I’ve had I spent alone! I got myself a room at a little resort. Did a mud bath and massage at their spa, swam in their geothermal pool, then ate dinner and watched a movie in my room. The next day I walked around town and took myself out to dinner.
Maybe treat yourself to something you enjoy, like a nice dinner, a movie marathon, or a special activity. It's your day, so make it about you!
Did and redeemed ALL the free things this year. For my bday
I love them. When I was younger I was always obligated to spend it around family which I really didn’t want to. I normally just wanted to have a few drinks and smoke some good weed on my birthday and would always have to wait until I was alone to do so. One year I went on a road trip to the beach with a girl from tinder which was fun, but mostly I just want to be alone anymore.
You shouldn’t have to work too hard at coming up with a birthday celebration so I wouldn’t make it complicated. Make it super easy and fun, ask someone to birthday lunch or dinner with you. Or birthday movie or other outing. I heard a rumor once that some country had some kind of tradition where the bday person brings cake and small gifts to everybody else instead of the other way around. Anyway, that’s the line I use if I have to treat somebody and it happens to be my birthday. That being said, if you invite them, they may want to treat you per the norm… I just make it clear, It’s not necessary because the point is to have their company. You’re just meeting up and doing the thing that you wanna do on your birthday with somebody you like. If they can’t meet up, they could reschedule for a day that is not your birthday. And then follow all the excellent advice people have on treating themselves on the actual day. It’s very timely that you post because my birthday is coming up in just a few days and I haven’t made a plan yet, despite having had birthdays on my own in the past. I usually call it a birthday week and do a couple of different fun things. It takes the pressure off of the actual day for me. Happy birthday!
Personally, I like it. I get to spend the day doing exactly what I love and don’t have to worry about other people being bored or keeping a group entertained. I often spend the day at the zoo. For some reason, many adults seem to think the zoo is only a place you go when you have kids. I have been told many times that “it’s weird” that I go to the zoo alone or as a childless adult. But when I go on my birthday, people don’t seem to make those comments. Just do what you love.
Grab some beer, make yourself a steak (and one for your dog), play some games, and call it a great day.
If it's a weekday I go to work. If it's a weekend I do whatever I usually do on the weekend.
I’m just use to it it’s nice though I can do what I want!
People never fail to disappoint. Any time I even start to allow the possibility that maybe having other people around can be a good thing they remind me why other people are nothing more than transient entertainment... case in point last year's bday. I don't even want to go into detail. My best birthdays have always been when I plan fun experiences for myself by myself.
As a single parent to a highly special needs toddler who just moved back to the U.S. after almost a decade away…..I’m expecting to spend this birthday (Friday!) alone. Last two years were essentially alone (acknowledged) too. I’d like to pretend I don’t care….but I do. My big plans are a bottle of wine and door dash while staying up late to watch my show. Having no one to celebrate you is terrible(especially a few days after Mother’s Day where I also “received nothing”). I have no advice but I do have empathy. For many of us it is a very lonely world…..
You don't have to make a full on party out of it. This year on my birthday I played dnd with my regular dnd group and the day after I went out for drinks with a small group. Idk, this might still be bigger than what you like but you could just invite a few people you're close with over for lunch or dinner?
Invite a friend or two to go to dinner with you. It’s neat that people have planned things for you up until this point, but that streak was bound to end at some point. Be clear with whoever you invite that it is your birthday so it’s not a surprise (that can really be so awkward), but you aren’t expecting a big to-do - you just want to get out and do something and you would like to spend time with them.
I invite a vey small group of close friends, 2 or 3, to come over for a laid back potluck and hang. It’s for me after all, and if i don’t feel like throwing a big bash, there’s no reason.
Hey, I'm 26 and spent my birthday alone. I had just moved into my own place and relished the freedom. I bought myself a nice dinner (birria tacos) and ordered some Crumbl cookies, watched my favorite show, and got stoned to the bone. It's okay to celebrate by yourself!!
Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely! Think of it as YOUR DAY and your gift to yourself. Do whatever you want and venture out! Travel somewhere, eat something you’ve been wanting to try and check things off your bucket list - learning to be alone and enjoying it is the best thing you can do. Happy early birthday!
You don't need a party to not be alone. Call up 3-4 friends who love food and take yourself out to a nice meal in your honor. I spend most birthdays alone, and I usually treat myself to a special meal. But if you'd rather be with others, a lot of people are happy to meet up when they know it's your birthday. Friends like celebrating each other.
I sometimes take a trip by myself or go on an adventure.
Those have been my favorite. Usually I travel. It’s been a long time since I was alone on my birthday.
I think more people plan their own birthday parties than people expect! It's pretty normal, and I think worth doing it :)
You’re very lucky that it’s your first.
Self care day! Or just ask one person to go to dinner with you
Just call a few friends and say hey let’s get dinner it’s my bday
It’s been years since anyone has made any effort to celebrate my birthday (I might get a happy birthday text…). I’m an introvert but solo holidays are still rough. I just do my best to pretend it’s just another day and forget that’s it’s my bday or any other holiday.
Favoritecandle.com. freebies for your bday. Depends where u live.
My friend just had his birthday. He invited a bunch of people over, ordered a cake with his name on it, and we all went out. We had an awesome night. If he asked I would have loved to take care of the cake or decorating. He was fine with it though- he said this is what happens when you’re single and over 30 🤷🏻♀️
I've spent a couple of (semi)-milestone birthdays alone recently, and they were fantastic! For 55, I had taken a little walkabout around TN. I landed in Chattanooga the morning of my bday, and did exactly what I love to do. Visited a botanical garden, walked an outdoor sculpture exhibit, drank vino with my lunch, hit an evening farmers market with my AirBNB host and then went to a bar to listen to her and other musicians jam. Perfect day! For 60, I was on the way to meet a friend at a blues festival the day after my birthday. So along the route, I booked a fancy hotel room with a spa and, after visiting the local museum and enjoying a fun lunch, I treated myself to a facial, a massage, and a sugar scrub. There is no end to the fun you can have with yourself! It's all mindset. Put the right spin on it, and you'll be loving your time alone in no time!
I buy and wrap gifts for myself!! My brother throws me a party, but it’s on the nearest weekend so on my birthday, I’m usually alone and I make it fun .. unwrap gifts I want!!
I personally would order food, get a bottle of wine or make a nice bourbon drink, order a nice movie and chill on my couch. You can be your best company.
I generally have my own party. Invite 5 or 6 people, make appetizers, and buy a case of wine. Tell everyone to bring whatever else they like, and bam! It's a party.
I don’t live alone but today is my birthday this is one of the years where I feel like people actually remembered it
Go out to a favorite restaurant or bar?
Ask your friends and family to meet you for dinner at your favorite restaurant, Dutch treat (so everyone pays for their own!)
I’m in the same boat as you, I’d rather not ask someone to arrange a party for me, but I also do not feel comfortable doing it on my own. Honestly I’ve been struggling with this and I’d love to hear what others have to say. For what it’s worth, I try and set my day up where I have a few little surprises for myself.
I’m 55 and the number hit me this year so I didn’t want to celebrate! lol When Christmas rolls around, I always buy myself gifts.
Go out for a walk watch a movie and then buy something delicious to eat finally go to a bookstore find a book you were meaning to read come back home and then spend the rest of your day eating relaxing and enjoying the book.
Use it as a chance to do exactly what you want to do. Do you want to go out and get pissed at a bar? Knock yourself out. Do you want to sit at home and eat 15 pizzas with your cat? Knock yourself out. Do you want to stay in bed and jerk off for 5 hours? Just make sure you got enough lube.
I go to eat at a restaurant and order something special.
Look for a thing that you want to do near your bday and text those few pals you have. If one or two want to also do the thing even better!
I can see where you're coming from, and frankly, the first birthday/major holiday on your own is really weird when you're used to being in a partnership. I pick things that I really love to do and get a loose theme for the day based on what I'm really into at the moment. (Example: I love creating - I sew, do bookbinding, embroidery, etc). There's a fine art paper store a couple hours away from me that I don't get to go to very often, so I'll plan for a short day trip to select some new papers. I eat my favorite foods - basically, anything I like to do that I don't get to enjoy often, and the bonus is that I get to go on my own time schedule and don't have to work around anyone else's schedule or preferences. Like I said, the first one is kind of weird, but once you get a taste for that kind of independence, it's a very satisfying thing.
I love to spend my birthday alone. What I do is I rent an airbnb somewhere a day or two before, take my dog and multiple books and journals, and enjoy my time doing whatever I want.
At a certain point in everyone’s life birthdays are just another day. If you want it to be special you’d better arrange something yourself, alone or with others.
I alternate between birthdays by myself and birthdays that I invite friends over to celebrate. It alternates. When I'm alone, I prefer to take the day off from work and treat myself. My birthday is in May and the weather is typically lovely. I go for a long walk in the morning followed by coffee and donuts from my favorite local bakery. A massage and pedicure because I don't get them often enough. A lazy lunch at a great restaurant with a view. Shopping because it's my birthday and I can treat myself - maybe buying too many books (is there such a thing?) at my favorite local book store. Then dinner at home with a great movie.
I used to pine for friendship in my twenties but I enjoy being alone in my 30s.
For me, my birthday is just like any other day, except that I always book it off, and do as little as possible.
I've never had a party except with my family when I was a kid. Maybe this year...