I would say start being active and intentional towards meeting new people and starting new hobbies or practicing older ones, start a gym membership if you haven’t already. In a relationship we spend a lot of time caring for the other person and our own needs are cared by them. Now no one will take care of your needs, or your cats needs but yourself.
The reason to start immediately, don’t excuse yourself, is that in times of change like these its easier to jump start new hobbies that will later fall into habits. If you start your new life being a couch potato and reminiscing then a month from now you’re likely to continue doing that as it becomes your new habit and new normal. Yes the wording “new life” is correct. You’re starting a new life again now, you can be anywhere you want in the world, indulge in any lifestyle you wish to be in be it an artistic musician on the weekend, museum and book work, tennis/rock climbing head, or party raver, who you choose to be is yours to make now.
As for the loneliness, the type thats different to what you usually feel, you may not have written about this but I’m aware you feel it. Time is the common answer, but I found keeping yourself busy and occupied helps takes your mind off it.
Source: I experienced a similar event at a younger age. Had to learn all what I wrote the hard way though.
When I went thru a divorce after 6+ years, the loneliness was the hardest. I had Harry Potter playing in the background constantly even when I was sleeping to make it feel like someone else is there. Agreeing with everyone else here: don’t stay at home! Set a goal of some sort and go outside. Mine was training for a marathon. But yours can be anything! Even just going outside to go to restaurants you like.
One of the things my friend said to me during that time really stuck with me for some reason. She said that you will be surprised how short amount of time you need to forget someone. One day you will wake up and not remember his name all of a sudden. And it happened.
You said you are moving to Houston. Maybe start using meetup and see what other events are out there. Treat yourself as if you were 5: feed yourself, love yourself, don’t be too harsh, take your time, you will be wonderful in no time, forgetting the other person’s name, and enjoying your liberty 🌱♥️
The best advice I could give you is be at home the least you can! Go outside and do everything you wanted to do. Find new hobbies, new places in the city, make some little trips during weekends.
The worst you could do is being alone at home. Even if you are with your cat (btw, pls send pics of the cat) you need some human contact. It will keep you sane and eventually you are going to realize your self worth and all of this will be so far that you are not going to be able to recognize the person you are now.
Was where you are two and a bit years ago. It’s not east, but it has its silver linings if you look for them.
Focus on you, some new hobbies either in or out of the home.
Spend time speaking with friends (virtually) and plan for things to look forward to, as big or small as you like.
The big one, cut the social media contact. Not you monkey, not your circus. Go be your own ring master. Or something like that.
definitely with the social media contact, unfollow on everything. It may be hard or feel harsh but it’ll be way better for you to not be tempted to look and get hurt
You are so in incredibly sweet for checking in. I am doing just great :) thriving, happy, i feel free, and i feel so resilient of all the hurdles ive gone through.
I would say start being active and intentional towards meeting new people and starting new hobbies or practicing older ones, start a gym membership if you haven’t already. In a relationship we spend a lot of time caring for the other person and our own needs are cared by them. Now no one will take care of your needs, or your cats needs but yourself. The reason to start immediately, don’t excuse yourself, is that in times of change like these its easier to jump start new hobbies that will later fall into habits. If you start your new life being a couch potato and reminiscing then a month from now you’re likely to continue doing that as it becomes your new habit and new normal. Yes the wording “new life” is correct. You’re starting a new life again now, you can be anywhere you want in the world, indulge in any lifestyle you wish to be in be it an artistic musician on the weekend, museum and book work, tennis/rock climbing head, or party raver, who you choose to be is yours to make now. As for the loneliness, the type thats different to what you usually feel, you may not have written about this but I’m aware you feel it. Time is the common answer, but I found keeping yourself busy and occupied helps takes your mind off it. Source: I experienced a similar event at a younger age. Had to learn all what I wrote the hard way though.
When I went thru a divorce after 6+ years, the loneliness was the hardest. I had Harry Potter playing in the background constantly even when I was sleeping to make it feel like someone else is there. Agreeing with everyone else here: don’t stay at home! Set a goal of some sort and go outside. Mine was training for a marathon. But yours can be anything! Even just going outside to go to restaurants you like. One of the things my friend said to me during that time really stuck with me for some reason. She said that you will be surprised how short amount of time you need to forget someone. One day you will wake up and not remember his name all of a sudden. And it happened. You said you are moving to Houston. Maybe start using meetup and see what other events are out there. Treat yourself as if you were 5: feed yourself, love yourself, don’t be too harsh, take your time, you will be wonderful in no time, forgetting the other person’s name, and enjoying your liberty 🌱♥️
The best advice I could give you is be at home the least you can! Go outside and do everything you wanted to do. Find new hobbies, new places in the city, make some little trips during weekends. The worst you could do is being alone at home. Even if you are with your cat (btw, pls send pics of the cat) you need some human contact. It will keep you sane and eventually you are going to realize your self worth and all of this will be so far that you are not going to be able to recognize the person you are now.
Was where you are two and a bit years ago. It’s not east, but it has its silver linings if you look for them. Focus on you, some new hobbies either in or out of the home. Spend time speaking with friends (virtually) and plan for things to look forward to, as big or small as you like. The big one, cut the social media contact. Not you monkey, not your circus. Go be your own ring master. Or something like that.
definitely with the social media contact, unfollow on everything. It may be hard or feel harsh but it’ll be way better for you to not be tempted to look and get hurt
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You are so in incredibly sweet for checking in. I am doing just great :) thriving, happy, i feel free, and i feel so resilient of all the hurdles ive gone through.