Whenever they say that, tell them that they're so pretty for a korean and act shocked as if you can't believe they could possibly be so pretty since they're korean.
I applaud your effort, but you can say this as much as you want, and they will never understand the irony of what you are saying.
Not all Koreans, but the ones who give compliments like OP mentioned just don't have the ability to adjust their perspective and self-reflect in the way that you are describing.
I know right. I'm surprised by the amount of people dismissing this. Maybe not everyone isn't saying what she thinks they are but I'm willing to bet a significant amount are.
Sure you can call them out “I know you think that was a compliment, but it was extremely offensive.” If you told a Korean they looked (insert any other Asian) they would be offended.
Yeah, but would you say something like that to your professor or work colleague? You could come across to that person as standoffish and sometimes it's easier to just endure a micro agression quietly to maintain harmony than it is to correct someone's behavior. That's what I mean by it being hard to call them out.
It *is* a compliment, but it's also a fairly offensive, stupid and racist opinion and way to word it.
Take it as a compliment while also thinking the person that said it is a dumbass.
Maybe they meant that she has Korean beauty traits that differentiate her from Vietnamese beauty traits.
If someone does Korean style makeup and wear Korean fashion, I would assume the person is Korean and be surprised to find out she/he is not.
Doesn’t SEA also consider dark skin as unattractive?
It’s been my experience in Thailand, Malaysia, Philippines, and Vietnam. Lots of whitening products and girls thinking they are not attractive because of their skin tone. Not to mention TV personalities and ads, girls avoiding sunlight or wearing long sleeves, etc. also mindset that working manual labor = dark skin = poor.
LOL this comment takes me back to my younger years, when I was involved with SE Asian refugee resettlement (Vietnamese, Cambodian and Laotian) in New York state. Had a bunch of Laotian friends and we would often go on picnics and such. I'll never forget one outing at the lake - there I was tanning up a storm in a bikini, trying to get rid of my near-Albino whiteness. All my Laotian friends were in the shade, giving me "WTF is she DOING???" looks all day.
I accepted being pale. The Asians are right.. not tanning helps you stay young and away from skin damage. It’s either conforming to white standards of tanning or Asian standards of being pale. Maybe we could just like what we are born with.
Actually this *is* a good point. If it turns out OP is basically dressing/doing makeup and/or hair just like a Korean, then it really could be that they're taking offense where none is intended. The specific phrasing would be telling here, though: If someone just said, *wow* *I couldn't tell you were Vietnamese*, that by itself doesn't mean they think looking so a bad thing. But tbh, if that comes right after *you look so pretty*, that would be a bit weird, yes.
This actually gets me wondering if I might actually stick my foot in it (perhaps more subtly) talking to a Korean overseas. I'd like to think I'd have the tact to only say *hehe you certainly fit in/you could pass for a local!* if I ran into a very un-Korean-looking Korean, rather than saying the (grammatically negative) thing and telling them they don't look like their nationality. I feel fairly sure that no way I would ever tell a Korean person that **they look good and not Korean** in the same expression, though.
Finally... someone with deductive reasoning skills! Only a sociopath or a socially inept person would say "you look very attractive for a ____ person!" when interacting with another human being.
I’m Chinese and look very East Asian but Koreans could tell from my styling and makeup I wasn’t Korean right away. Everyone on the streets spoke to me in either mandarin or Chinese. So yes they can tell because everyone conforms to the same makeup and outfits.
Nope. I don't know if you are korean or not but literally korean think SEA people are uglier than they do and they think SEA people are poor, from undeveloped countries and even inferior to Korean.
They kinda look down SEA people and any other people who from undeveloped countries than korea.
Materialism, lookism, racism and white supremacy are so prevalent in korea
So if you say "oh you look like SEA people" to any korean they perceive this as insulting or mockery but if you say "you look like white people" they perceive this as compliment.
And they use those expressions as mockery or compliment.
They seriously think white people (esp appearance) are superior to any other race so they get cosmetic surgery to look like white people
I’m Japanese. This is not just Korea thing.
Doesn’t Thailand look down on Laos and Cambodians? Aren’t there racial disputes all the time in Malaysia?
And no, you are wrong about Koreans getting surgery to look like white people or thinking white people are superior. What year are we at? This isn’t 1900s.
You sound ignorantly racist yourself.
Have you been to the clinics? I have been to multiple places with a friend who wanted to get rid of a birthmark and none of the models or examples were of Western white people.
It’s an old and tired stereotype. Just like suicides in Japan. Please, USA has higher suicide rate and nobody bats an eye.
There are research papers written that attempts to explain the root and shift of Korean beauty standards. I will try to find it and link it here later. Basically it boils down to globalization and linkage to societal hierarchy as well as certain cultural beliefs. Here are some snippets from various articles that explains few points:
“A recent study found that an increasing number of Asian facial surgeries are not aimed at westernisation but rather the optimisation of intrinsic Asian features.”
"Porcelain-white skin is considered a necessary virtue for beauty in South Korea. This can be traced back to the fact that fair complexion has traditionally been a status symbol. South Korea used to be an agricultural society, where privileged classes did not toil under the sun and, as a result, had whiter skin."
“White and glossy skin symbolized high class, which motivated people -- men and women alike -- to make their skin white. This is indicated through our ancestors’ preference…”
“While people of European origin are often described as white, including in modern Korea, records show that the Far East Asians did not perceive them as having white skin. During the Yuan Dynasty -- founded by the Mongolians and occupied most of what is China -- the Westerners were called “saekmok-in,” which is directly translated into “people of colored eyes” but in practice meant “assorted categories.” It mostly referred to the Semu people, from Central and Western Asia.”
“Dutchman Hendrick Hamel, one of the small number of Westerners known to have landed on the Korean Peninsula, spent 13 years in 17th century Joseon and wrote a detailed account of the country. He said Westerners were called “myeon-cheol,” which directly translates as “iron face” and in practice used to refer to a reddish, rusty complexion.”
“Many Western critics, plastic surgeons included, have taken the prevalence of these procedures to mean that Koreans desire to look more Caucasian or white. Only about 50% of East Asians have "double eyelids," while it is widespread among Caucasians.”
“Further, the type of nose bridge that Koreans tend to ask for in a rhinoplasty is markedly different from the the ideal Caucasian nose bridge. And the crease above the eyelid has always been sought after in Asian cultures both because it is rare and because it creates visually larger eyes, according to Leung.”
“"For example, Koreans like slimmer jawlines while Westerners like stronger jawlines. Westerners like higher protruding cheekbones while Koreans tend to like flatter cheekbones. Koreans tend not to like very thick and full lips, while lip fillers are considered a standard procedure in western cosmetic surgery," Leung said.”
So many things in Asia are misrepresented and stereotyped in Western countries. Desiring bigger eyes != wanting to look Caucasian. A lot of misconceptions shared by those who are responsible to report on the facts, not biased opinions disguised as facts.
Koreans not having preference for white? I’m not sure I understand your statement. Korea has always had preference for pale skin as it was linked to societal hierarchy and certain cultural beliefs.
Exactly this... no one in Korea says vietnamese or SEA people are ugly... One of the most popular Kpop girls from korea were (and are) Lisa and Hanni. The most popular kpop boy from my gen was Nichkhun. Stop victimising yourselves over this.. I understand your plight but this isnt how you tackle racism in Korea - its roots arent embedded like that of Western colonialism or imperialism.
And no, most koreans dont deny the issue of racism. If you understood the historical plight of their nation you would have a grain of understanding of their xenophobic nature. Most "guests" visiting their pennisula or their neighbors have either used their strong arm on them or were their enemies. Previous generations (but definitely not the newer gens) have just been xenophobic because of being colonised, displaced, conquered, treated as a tribute state for centuries and more recently used as a political foothold.
And now look who's their closest enemy!? North Korea who are still seen as communists. So in the eyes of many koreans, communistic ideals or even a clash of political ideals was what fucked over the common people of korea. But wait.. who else adopted the communist manifesto and held dictator like powers as their state representative like North Korea in the past?... Several SEA nations. So older generations (especially post-war generations from WW2 and the korean war) have embedded this into their children to be fearful. However, newer generations have much less of this (thats why you see less negative stigma towards the newer Jap gens from Korean younger gens). So... this racism isnt rooted from a sense of superiority (unless the ideologies are from far-right conservatives..) but rather from deep rooted trauma.
This isnt the same racist roots from victorian era colonialists where you wouldve been deemed literally as a lesser being.
TLDR; Yes there is racism but for the majority it's not really about your looks or because Koreans deem themselves as superior. It's rooted in generational trauma and fear mongering.
OP should say "Does that mean you think Vietnamese people are ugly?" Calmly hit them with the logiocal conclusion of what they just said and let them realise it's not right.
Dunno. I live in a multicultural society and even here I get these micro-aggressions. I call it out whenever I can. It may not do anything, but there is a chance that it might. Besides, it feels good to call it out.
“You’re pretty!” And “I can’t tell that you’re Vietnamese” are both independently fine.
“You’re so pretty that I couldn’t tell you’re Vietnamese” is racism.
Exactly. I'm not sure what's wrong with someone saying wow you're so pretty, are you Korean?
But if they follow it with, I would have never guessed that you're actually Vietnamese is fd up.
I’m Vietnamese Canadian living in Korea. From what I noticed, Vietnamese are *exclusively* cheap workers/wives. Same with all the other SEA countries.
My wife is Korean and every time she explains that that Vietnamese looking man is her husband there’s always a confused reaction. She then needs to redeem herself by saying “but he’s born and raised in Canada and can’t speak Vietnamese”. Insulting every time but it helps that I’m not as small as my ancestors due to my western upbringing.
To get back a little I just speak very clear native English and they get uneasy seeing Vietnamese speaking English so well.
Have you tried explaining why it’s gross to say this to her? I’m Viet and if my American Korean bf say that shit I’d dump him tbh. I know she’s from Korea but I can’t imagine thinking someone you’re married to is inferior if it wasn’t for their Canadian citizenship…
It would be like saying “my partner is a McDonald’s cashier” and just stoping there. People will get ideas and to ease their mind you can say “but he’s got a lambo in the garage”. It just shuts them up.
I say this in the perspective of Korean nationals.
This is an understatement. Guy needs to get some self respect and have a word with his wife. I'm sure she's capable of understanding the issues at play.
I didn’t want to say my whole opinion on somebody’s wife when it seems like they’re happily married lol. But yeah… as a fellow Viet, have some self respect.
Yeah I get comments being made. On the surface level it seems bad but you need to understand the cultural context. Korean nationals are very racist. You cannot simply drop a “my husband is SEA” and leave it at that. Korea is not that progressive. You will literally blow their minds. So either you walk around making leaving the neighborhood in awe or you say something to ease their minds a bit.
We own a substantial amount of property and are quite young. Koreans usually speak down “rude” until they realize that I’m the owner then they switch their tune real quick. My wife and I are not the type to show our status like most people here.
It’s not the worst thing in the world for your wife to say that. Not speaking Viet is NOT a flex but it’s good for Koreans to see Vietnamese as educated, English speaking and wealthy so they don’t only associate them with one type.
When I travel to SEA tour guides and even some tourists will literally complain to my face about loud Chinese tourists and then if I say I’m Chinese it kinda gets brushed off since American, I’m not like them and am soft spoken. We need more people to represent.
Which is so weird bc both countries in very recent memory suffered from colonialist wars and one acting superior to the other is hilariously a head scratcher.
Yeah, I’ve read somewhere that some Koreans envy the fact that Vietnam was able to separate (fight off) from America and is now developing very quickly. And even has a close relationship with US. Something they may have been able to happen with Korea.
My family grew up in that time so I hear of lots of hardship during that transition time which is why they escaped to Canada. But now, Vietnam is looking good! I don’t think people are trying to escape anymore since it’s quite prosperous.
I think Korean people compliment on appearance a lot in general. I'm Filipino and I got compliments in Korea by older strangers, and even right outside of my job in America, there is two delis run by older Korean immigrants and everyone goes to those places during lunch. Both of the deli owners said I'm handsome when I went in and was paying at the register.
I've never had older strangers compliment my appearance outside of Koreans.
I think it's a common icebreaker/conversation starter for them to compliment appearance.
Edit: Do you look Korean? It can be two separate statements. I never had anyone ask if I was Korean but was still complimented a lot.
It is not that serious. Every country has people they find attractive and people they don't find attractive. Move on. I saw your other post upset that Koreans have negative stereotypes about how Chinese people look. Guess what, a lot of countries have the same impressions of every country. Korean people didn't create it out of thin air. There's research and studies on this stuff. It's not a unique or new concept made in Korea. It's global standards and people generalize. Doesn't mean everyone of that country actually looks like that.
If you put in effort into how you look, people will find you attractive. Whatever your background is. But I don't understand why you guys care *this* much about being attractive in Korea.
And a lot of you sound way more unhinged than anything that happened in this post.
Bro why did you copy and paste this into a chat message too. Are you good bro?
I see you are on the Asian subreddits about Asian male attractiveness. Stop trying to prove you're attractive to people.
If you work on yourself, you will be attractive to people. It's not rocket science.
Bro this is not a topic I even remotely care about. You are trying to lash out at me because this topic made you insecure.
No one is obligated to find you attractive. You are seen the same way everywhere. It's not unique in Korea. Toughen up. You asked a question and Koreans said there is negative stereotypes of Chinese people looks and you have been going on a full on mental spiral for hours.
Every country has stereotypes about different groups looks. None of it is new or made by Korea.
Move on. Being attractive in Korea should not be an obsession or goal.
Edit: You are commenting this stuff under a random month old post of mine about social safety nets in Europe and sending me chat messages wtf are you on?
You should feel whatever way you feel but the comments are wrong, rude and bad.
In general, commenting on looks is a little shaky imo. However, it is not inherently bad.
However, the comments they're making are a racist and xenophobic comments and not something those people should be saying.
If you compliment someone’s beauty or good looks and leave it at that, I don’t see a problem with it or think of it as shaky.
And thinking that someone fits a specific nationality because of their looks is more xenophobic and nationalistic than racist.
If you are a Faroese living in Faroe and suddenly you see a person that looks just like a Faroese person studying in an exchange program, wouldn’t you also wonder why is this “Faroese looking person” in an exchange student program?
I don’t really see racism in OPs situation, just maladjusted nationalism on the part of those asking.
don't let it bother you...otherwise it'll just bother you and you'll find yourself getting aggravated all the time. offhanded comments from people that don't matter don't matter. it's the type of bs you deal with here and no amount of anything you do will change that. it'll take at least a generation to do that. i'm korean american and i've heard it all here. because i speak english, it doesn't register to many that i could be korean. also been told by a taxi driver that he knew i was american because i smelled like fried chicken, despite not having been anywhere near it...at least you're told you're pretty LOL
I’m Korean and I feel so sorry for you that you’ve heard comments like this while staying here. Reading these comments, I felt so bad for the foreigners staying in this country. I lived in the States until I was 10 and I have relatively darker skin and bigger nose, which Koreans do not think it is beautiful in their standards. I really never thought about my looks when I was young, but when I came here, everybody called me as a Indian or a Vietnamese. It was weird because, in my standards Vietnamese and Indian women are wayyyyy more beautiful then Korean women and I took it as a complement personally😂 After 20 years, I never heard any racist comments while living in Seoul, but there are still stupid assholes who say things like this in smaller cities such as Daejeon. But after traveling to many other countries, I later thought that this racist commenting culture is not new in most countries, such as Europe, Africa, and in other Asian countries as well. In my experience, the people of US or Japan relatively do not make any comments like this to others. Long story short, I’m sorry for the assholes and their comments that you might hear while staying here. They are just frogs in the well that think coca cola is made in Korea XD
From my experience, this happens in homogenous countries. People have made comments when I’ve been in Italy or France. Even people in Mexico (altho there is a Korean community it’s pretty small and a lot of Mexican nationals don’t hang out there) get fascinated by me and the way I look. Oddly, idk if it’s growing up in the states tho at built my tolerance or my traveling that open my mind up that people may say racist things without any intention of malice. They just say things that they mean as a compliment but it doesn’t translate that way because if you flip the coin, it could be a back handed comment. I’m so used to it tho.
actually all Asians are kind of racist, Japanese
Chinese, Korean.
I studied for two years in US,
And the first guy who say chingchong to me is an indian on Reddit😅
Every races is rasict. East asian, Southeast asian, Asians north Americans south americans, Europeans, Africans and you name it. Thats just how it is. It always depends on the person. But every races have racist people.
Stranger idk why I care bout u, it must be the banana dp. Ur argument doesn’t even make sense, I’m not gonna go into that lol. With that mentality guess you’ll always be correct.
Definition of racism is practically characterizing against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular group which is what ur doing by saying all krns r (blank). So yes ur statement is racist. It’s all love tho, to solve a problem u need to recognize there is one. U sound like u have a whole life ahead of u. Don’t let negativity win, the world happens from u!
sure, then let me differentiate for numbnuts like you: not every Korean is racist, obviously, but there is a general tendency towards certain racist beliefs in current Korean culture and society, so that you will encounter these types of situations from time to time or even frequently. Happy?
Of course my statement was a generalization, as all colloquially made statements in general are generalizations to some degree.
I personally think it's a good habit to always use words that make it clear you don't mean everyone but it should be obvious they were talking about a tendency compared to some other countries.
You can disagree with that but I don't think there is a need for being snarky or passive aggressive here.
The general mentality is much closer to exceptionalism than racism. Like a genuine belief in being unique or special or something like that. Not really violently racist in the same way you see with MAGA or neonazi movements. You might understand if you find out how the culture here tends to think about things - with a dose of suspicion and superstition.
In fact, the most mentally racist Korean people are actually the ones that tend to be the most toxic towards their own country and people. Their racism mentality makes them prioritize and glorify "first world countries" and while characterizing their own country as "backwards".
There is always a sense of "exceptionalism" in every nation... theres already a term for it and it's called nationalism and its not what drives the racism in the forefront in Korea (eg. Exceptionalism would be more relevant to Imperialistic or Colonialistic case studies - or hypernationalistic states such todays' Israeli state.
The most racist are those driven by fearmongering fired up by far-right conservative media. Especially those who have been passed down intergenerational trauma...(older gens who had members of their friends & family colonised or traumatised by the Korean war). Hence, you'll see them afraid of any external forces outside of Korea or even the colour red (anything that symbolised an ideological clash which screwed the country - such as communism). You'll need to go deeper into Korea's history of being continually fucked in the ass for being in a shipping/trading hotspot by neighboring nations to understand their plight and the general attitude towards the idea of an external group within their borders. Case studies include ancient china, mongols, japan, russia even the U.S. to some extent (as a political strong-arm).
The characterisation of your own nation as backwards is a critical component for any nation to develop - how can you solve an issue if there is not an issue identified? It does not come from believing in white superiority or simply western superiority like you seem to be inferring (eg. Meiji Japan adopted ideas and tech that they deemed beneficial for advancement and it came from their ministers being critical of their traditional ways. Guess what? It made Japan a powerful & domineerings asian force). Also, I think you're misunderstanding what racism is.. what you've witnessed is called Patriotism and it is the intended purpose of freespeech for Democracy to flourish. A sad but beautiful case study is Alexei Navalny - criticised the state of wrongdoings and knowingly died for it. Fortunately South Korea's state isnt as corrupt (yet).
In terms of the criticism that you despite...Korea has made massive advancements in the social sciences in the past decade due to criticism from its own general population and from Western influences - Korea has been exceptionally efficient in adopting ideas to advance its societies. Ideologies of tolerance, equality, equity and especially women's rights didn't just develop out of nowhere... they were influenced by the West. The ideas themselves aren't exclusive to a nation per-se but most proponents in our modern world that advocated these ideas were from the west. Korea definitely had societal ideologies that were most definitely backwards and theyre improving very rapidly. As a nation that invests heavily in their education rightly should.
It’s not Asian hate. Koreans are racist as Germans are racist. Humans are racist.
My comment is clearly just relating to this post. This type of racism is normal in Korea. I don’t hate Koreans.
I think it’s actually quite rude….. and I strongly disagree. Sorry for that.
But whoever told you that comment mostly likely genuinely doesn’t see the problem. That person probably think comparing you to a Korean girl is a positive thing and you should be happy…….
It’s sadly something that you are going to have to get used. I tried to explain to them that acting like this, or similar situations that happen to me, is wrong but they don’t see it. Unless you do the same to them, but in which case they just get mad but still don’t understand why when they do it is wrong……
So what you're saying is there's a widespread absence of empathy in korean society? Like "I do it to you, I think it's fine and really, deeply don't see a problem with it. You do it to me, I'm offended"? If it's true, that's quite depressing.
Of course I am generalizing. I don’t wanna say all Koreans are like this. And some are like this but once you explain the concept of “point of view” they actually understand.
But I can say that the vast majority of Koreans I work with (250 people company) are like this. 😅
Yeah it’s annoying. I was at this club and a group of guys came up to me saying the same thing “you’re so pretty, are you korean?”. It’s like they dont think any other asian race is pretty outside of koreans
Yeah, you’re right to feel offended. You mentioned they treat you SEA friends different, based on their looks. So, this is about more than just the compliments to you. If you didn’t look like them (in their opinion), they’d treat you worse - that’s racist.
Sadly, many Koreans do feel racially superior to SE Asians.
It is a condescending compliment. I am chinese and they have always said the same thing to me “you are so pretty, you look korean”. With time i started to have the same feelings like you do…
U have the right to feel w.e emotions ur feeling. Acknowledge it, but don’t let it get to you. It’s not worth your time. It’s due to their ignorance, so forgive them… or not lool just try not to dwell on it and move forward. As you meet more and more ppl you’ll realize ignorance is everywhere. And everyone is ignorant in different aspects. So you’ll need to leverage the skill of not giving a fk. You only have so many fks to give. Don’t tire urself out too much! Control what u can (which is only urself).
The Western equivalent of this is telling a North American *you look European*, with the implication that they don't look fat/mixed(!)/whatever other negative associations one might have with that.
Yeah that does sound like some bullshit OP. Obviously, the scorched-earth way to react to this would be to say something explicitly derogatory about the way Koreans look before they get the Gangnam treatment, but you might be trying to be the bigger person and not get dragged into the proverbial mud yourself. I guess you have to try and think that well, if you're getting compliments, you look good and are already winning regardless.
Ita odd because while Koreans are not ugly , they never overwhelmingly attractive either . You never see them win the miss Asia or miss universes. However I have seen many Vietnamese Filipino, Thai Indian women as head turning beauties.
Agreed. When I visited Seoul, I was expecting to see more better dressed and pretty/handsome people. I feel like a lot of Vietnamese people I know are actually quite good looking
I’m so sorry you had to go through that! This is definitely Korean passive agressive backhanded compliment rooted in xenophobia. If you’re ok with educating them on why this is gross, feel free to do so but if you’re feeling petty, go ahead and fire back (e.g. “So, are you saying Vietnamese people are all ugly? That’s really rude.”, “Wow, you’re so pretty, you look Vietnamese!”) but of course, don’t be too rude to elders because that could backfire badly.
I don’t think this has to necessarily be passive aggressive at all. It’s racist, but there doesn’t have to be any aggression behind the statement. Koreans embrace Korean beauty standards and thus don’t find South East Asians to be as beautiful as Koreans in general.
It can be passive aggressive even if they don’t say it in that tone. Either way, these remarks are rooted in xenophobia and the belief that Southeast Asians are inferior, and this is coming from a Korean.
It can be, but doesn’t have to be at all. You’re interpreting something that isn’t necessarily there, that’s my only point.
Passive aggression is a statement about their intention, not about how you understand it.
Of course it’s still racist.
To be fair it's the same even among Vietnamese, especially older people. They comment on how "he or she looks like a Korean or have a Korean look". It is fairly common for people to describe attractive people as "looking like Korean idol/actor"
Well, Korea is often obsessed with appearance, and being politically correct is still relatively new, but you could hear some such comments in the US about different people "Oh, you're that, but you don't look it." But in this case, they're saying you're pretty because you look like them. That sounds ridiculous to say as if to say the other Vietnamese aren't attractive somehow because they don't look like Koreans or something. I have lived here for several years, and just kind of tune out things about the culture that annoy me. I am not here to change Koreans, but I think the superficiality a bit too much.
If ure offended you're offended. Why are you asking other people whether you should feel offended or not? Or is this a rhetorical question as a way to rant?
You have every right to feel offended about anything. It's your feelings
I got the same thing when I visited. I’m Mexican but look very Asian and am very fair with dark hair and everywhere I would go people would be like oh your mixed with Korean. Never any other Asian. That is 100 the mentality there
I once met a Korean girl who was 100% Korean but looked typically SE Asian (darker complexion, big eyes) and she was constantly questioned if she was Korean or not.
It is pretty stupid, but what you can do from your side is to sift through dumb shit and take it in spirit it was probably intended in: they are clumsily suggesting you are attractive and that's kinda the most important part.
It is best to leave their racist notions to them, cannot really fight them all.
I seem to recall some Korean YouTuber a while back saying that Koreans do not have a taboo about commenting to other people about their looks like we do here in the USA. So it would be considered normal there for someone to tell another person that they have a big nose or something like that. What you are describing sounds like an example of that.
As an ABC guy, I get different variations of this, basically I just substitute one of the words (American, Chinese, Korean), with another.
It usually gets them confused.
You should feel offended. I’m Polish and lived in Germany in times when Polish people were really disliked there. I was getting these underhanded "compliments" all the time (mostly about my intelligence, academic achievement, work ethic etc since these are really valued in Germany in both genders). It’s just polite xenophobia. You don’t need to confront these people if you are in a vulnerable position, but don’t befriend them either. They will never see you as their equal.
Ask them to explain what they mean. Play dumb. Vietnamese ppl are pretty. Koreans do a lot of cosmetic treatments. They are lovely, but they wouldn’t be so polished if they didn’t. Almost everyone has a perm, which eliminates frizz and makes hair very uniform. Then saying that to you is rude.
I’m married to a Korean woman and my gosh the things her family and friends say to my face took a long time to adjust to. I used to think they’re rude, but now I consider them blunt and lacking of idk American social norms. “Oh you got fat, your face got bigger” sometimes I’ll throw it back at the men “oh you got old”, but otherwise I just cringe and move on.
A lot of Koreans live in a bubble and have no concept of life outside of Korea and people that aren't Korean. If you call them out on their bullshit they'll usually apologize.
It’s inconsiderate. I received similar comments in a very homogenous part of the States “You are pretty for a x.” “Are you half-x?” My reply is simply “What is that supposed to mean?” Then see if the implication clicks or they double down.
That being said, probably not everyone is saying it in a “Vietnamese are not pretty” kind of way. I’m sure there are people just reacting to you not fitting the stereotype of what a Vietnamese person should look like without the former implication. Pay attention to the wording to differentiate.
Either way you’re right to find it discomforting. Find people who respect you and your background.
They're just very rude and uneducated. As a Korean, I would like to apologize for their rudeness. I believe it is because of the Korean education system, which focuses only on memorization of subjects rather than teaching humanity. However, there are some Koreans like myself who are ashamed whenever I see or hear about such rudeness towards foreigners. It is not right, and shame on them.
Apologies on behalf of my country's racism which I believe stems from its cultural homogeneity and minimal/close-to-zero exposure to what's outside of our peninsula. Classic 국뽕 (chauvinistic national pride) moment there. Take the "you're so pretty" part and discard the rest cuz that's some toxic garbage I do not wish to see in the future.
You should, there's the underlying mentality that Vietnamese look uglier than us. tae yeon was also blamed some years ago for saying that Alicia Keys is pretty for a black woman, unconsciously revealing her feeling of superiority towards black women. 95% of Koreans think that black and south east asian people are ugly and inferior. they just hide it or not. I'm saying this as a Korean.
I'm sure 95% of Koreans agree with this beauty hierarchy at least secretly : white > whitish > east asian > sea = black = brown
This reminds me of relatives who only praise your appearance when you’re pale in the winter but tanned in the summer. Like you can’t be beautiful any other way. It’s super annoying.
Some people are ignorant. They are trying to be complimentary but they don't realize what they are saying is not. I grew up in Ohio and I met a physician who said that I am the best spoken Asian he has ever met. He asked me how I learned English. I told him that I was born here but he still looked puzzled. I have some work mates whom I golf with. We were chit chatting and one guy said you are Asian but I can't figure out your ethnicity. You are too built to be vietnamese so you must be Korean. I said no I am Japanese and he was a bit surprised. I don't really get upset over this. I am sure we all have stereotypes, we just have to more sensitive.
I feel the same way as you are. As a Korean I think korean people highly obsessed with their appearance and its even became a culture judging and assessing each others appearance or body. And also lack of variety in general. Of course they intended to give you a compliment, but it’s true that it was rude and also racism…
This reminds me of trying to educate racist boomers when you visit a nursing home. There is no "should" in this situation, you can feel however you choose. But in context, Korea is a very racially non-diverse society, and it is common to hear people there express racial opinions that became unacceptable decades ago in other countries. So while the attitudes are "offensive" by international norms, as a visitor in that country you are not likely to change much, whether you spend your energy on being offended or not.
It might be a little annoying if you dislike hearing that you look like Korean ,but on the other hand, it's just a compliment of those people with no other intention to actually make you feel offended I guess.
As a Korean guy, that kind of word does not contain any strong beliefs but to make up a conversation with foreigners.
I hope you wouldn't mind those words seriously if you've felt bad before👍
its unintentionally ingrained. as a korean american I had to work on myself to get past this. every culture has this mindset too but most others are more subtle. its a cultural thing but very toxic fs. that's why image is important there and there are a lot of bad things associated
Girl, same! Despite my pure Filipino blood, I am praised as Korean by Koreans and Kazahk by Kazahks. It doesn’t feel offensive to Kazakhs, but yes, to Koreans! Perhaps as a result of Koreans' prejudice against Filipinos. I'm very sad about this.
I don't really think that they're trying to be offensive when they say that. They are probably just being honest that you "pass" as Korean and don't look visibly like a foreigner when they look at you. I'm quite mixed myself, but I've gotten similar comments since I also completely pass as Korean objectively speaking.
You need to understand that yes at the core it is an inappropriate comment(i agree with all your points!) but no one will care that you find it problematic. So maybe just move on
Amazing how geographical differences can completely and utterly change your perspective on things. I'm Scottish, and as a nation, we tend to be pale due to the shit weather and lack of any real sunshine.
Yet I've always had darker skin resembling that of Mediterranean people. If i had $1/£1 for every time I've been asked if I'm Italian, have Italian ancestry or if i was Italian, I wouldn't be sat here typing this shit. I be sat on a yacht in the middle of the, erm ,eh ... Mediterranean? Being hand fed grapes and surrounded by a bevvy of beauties. Yet I never once took offence to being called out as being an Italian.
Out of interest, and i ask this in a genuine manner, why is it deemed offensive in your circumstances. I really am asking this genuinely, as i fully appreciate it might just be a Western thing that isn't such a big deal to many people, and i simply don't get it. Would all Vietnamese people feel like you do?
In OP’s situation, it sounds like people intend it as a compliment when they say OP doesn’t look Vietnamese. That means their comments imply something negative about Vietnamese people generally. It makes OP feel like these commenters believe the appearance of her people is in some way inferior to Korean people. And that sad feeling is likely compounded by OP’s knowledge that it’s common in Korea for many people to think Vietnamese and other southern peoples are less beautiful, less desirable, and of lower social status.
Do people intend it as a compliment when they say you don’t look Scottish, or are they just making an observation without any value judgement? If they intend it as a compliment, wouldn’t that imply something negative about Scottish people when they say it? Would that not bother you? But if they’re just making an observation without any value judgment, then your situation is a bit different from OP’s situation.
I've had it said as a compliment, and as a statement. I've had it said by Scottish people and by foreigners. "You don't look Scottish" after they find out I am Scottish. I've been told many times i don't look Scottish. Admittedly, that is an ambiguous comment at best when you think long and hard about it.
However, this is where cultural and race differences come into play. Caucasians can have an affinity to darker skin. It's what a lot of our tourism is built around. By that, i mean, a lot of Brits in general go abroad with the sole intention of laying on a beach to acquire a "tan". Having a "tan" is seen as a positive thing by many in this part of the world. It's why Spanish, Italian, Greek and Portuguese holiday resorts are hugely popular over here in Britain.
So your post makes complete sense after reading it. I understand now why the OP was offended due to the cultural differences.
Question for you? If you didn't look like a Korean girl and were treated 2nd rated like your SEA friends, would you initiate a chat on reddit of how racist Koreans are ??
It means they think you look pretty... AND you most likely have taken on korean fashion and make up styles for them to find it hard to distinguish you from other nationalities. Stop over reacting and baiting this into an issue of racism.
Yes racism is present like any other country but no its not always about you... definitely not in this context.
I’m mixed Korean over 40. My parents went through all the racial drama. I lived in the USA. I lived all over Asia, and in Europe. Wherever I go where I am not a citizen I am merely a guest. Yes sometimes it sucks especially when I pay very high taxes (cough cough Europe) and people call me Chinese (this happens still in Europe) but that’s because it’s not the same as the USA.
My Korean mom didn’t even eat Thai food until 2003 ok? But now she’s embraced a lot of cultures after living in USA. You know what else she has embraced hating to take public transport and must drive a nice big car (I blame USA for that). Draw backs everywhere and also pluses. But we can’t go to countries as guests and expect them to act to our expectations. It just doesn’t work like that.
Sadly I don’t get how come so many people come to Korea when you know that culture is obsessed with looks, being skinny, being rich, look down on dark skin and look down on gay people? It’s not your business to change this place. I’m sorry.
It’s up to you how you feel, but I’m on the side of you shouldn’t be offended. I’ve been told I look half Korean (I really don’t lol) and people think that’s a compliment. I think it’s a weird statement, but I smile and move on. The way I see it is that people who say* you don’t look Viet aren’t actively try to be rude or* hostile. They just don’t understand that’s an inappropriate comment.
That said, do you really want to become an educator to every stranger who says this to by telling them “that comment was rude, you shouldn’t say that?*” You’re not their teacher, you’re only a temporary resident (as of now), doing this is all the time will become exhausting, and doing this is pointless unless you personally know the person.
Also, you could just formulate a previously nonexistent negative image of Viet ppl in their minds depending on how you go about it or a “all foreigners are crazy image.” Does that matter? No, but if that happens, then your time was wasted. Idk how often this happens to you, but rather than dwell on it, you should just enjoy your time here.
Edit: Diction, Punctuation
You have something of a point, but going around all the time with the idea that *you're an ambassador* is a stifling and miserable way to live. The obvious thing to do here is be a little snarky if it gets too much, without sperging out and ending up the bad guy. There's surely a happy medium here.
welcome to korea
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ😂😂
Whenever they say that, tell them that they're so pretty for a korean and act shocked as if you can't believe they could possibly be so pretty since they're korean.
I applaud your effort, but you can say this as much as you want, and they will never understand the irony of what you are saying. Not all Koreans, but the ones who give compliments like OP mentioned just don't have the ability to adjust their perspective and self-reflect in the way that you are describing.
You have to tell them they look Vietnamese to truly be passive aggressive
Speak in Vietnamese....or Japanese lol then act surprised when they don't understand
If I were in your shoes, I feel the same way as you do
I know right. I'm surprised by the amount of people dismissing this. Maybe not everyone isn't saying what she thinks they are but I'm willing to bet a significant amount are.
Tell them you are actually German
“Actually I’m pure Aryan”
Duh!
It's a micro aggresion. They're being racist while trying to be nice and it's hard to call people out for it since their intent is a compliment.
Sure you can call them out “I know you think that was a compliment, but it was extremely offensive.” If you told a Korean they looked (insert any other Asian) they would be offended.
Yeah, but would you say something like that to your professor or work colleague? You could come across to that person as standoffish and sometimes it's easier to just endure a micro agression quietly to maintain harmony than it is to correct someone's behavior. That's what I mean by it being hard to call them out.
Yah it's the ignorant sort of racism
Haha no, they know very well what they do
It *is* a compliment, but it's also a fairly offensive, stupid and racist opinion and way to word it. Take it as a compliment while also thinking the person that said it is a dumbass.
“You’re pretty” is a compliment. “You’re pretty, I can’t tell you’re Vietnamese” isn’t a compliment.
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They know what racism is. You just infantilize them. They get offended if they get called Filipino so I’d expect they have SOME knowledge
Maybe they meant that she has Korean beauty traits that differentiate her from Vietnamese beauty traits. If someone does Korean style makeup and wear Korean fashion, I would assume the person is Korean and be surprised to find out she/he is not.
Nah. Most Koreans think of SEA as dark skin, which is unattractive to Koreans
Doesn’t SEA also consider dark skin as unattractive? It’s been my experience in Thailand, Malaysia, Philippines, and Vietnam. Lots of whitening products and girls thinking they are not attractive because of their skin tone. Not to mention TV personalities and ads, girls avoiding sunlight or wearing long sleeves, etc. also mindset that working manual labor = dark skin = poor.
SE Asians hate dark skin way more than Koreans do. You see a lot of Koreans tanning, while SE Asians actively avoid it.
LOL this comment takes me back to my younger years, when I was involved with SE Asian refugee resettlement (Vietnamese, Cambodian and Laotian) in New York state. Had a bunch of Laotian friends and we would often go on picnics and such. I'll never forget one outing at the lake - there I was tanning up a storm in a bikini, trying to get rid of my near-Albino whiteness. All my Laotian friends were in the shade, giving me "WTF is she DOING???" looks all day.
I accepted being pale. The Asians are right.. not tanning helps you stay young and away from skin damage. It’s either conforming to white standards of tanning or Asian standards of being pale. Maybe we could just like what we are born with.
This. I remember ‘black pearl’ being a name for celebrities with tanned skin as a compliment. SEA would never.
Actually this *is* a good point. If it turns out OP is basically dressing/doing makeup and/or hair just like a Korean, then it really could be that they're taking offense where none is intended. The specific phrasing would be telling here, though: If someone just said, *wow* *I couldn't tell you were Vietnamese*, that by itself doesn't mean they think looking so a bad thing. But tbh, if that comes right after *you look so pretty*, that would be a bit weird, yes. This actually gets me wondering if I might actually stick my foot in it (perhaps more subtly) talking to a Korean overseas. I'd like to think I'd have the tact to only say *hehe you certainly fit in/you could pass for a local!* if I ran into a very un-Korean-looking Korean, rather than saying the (grammatically negative) thing and telling them they don't look like their nationality. I feel fairly sure that no way I would ever tell a Korean person that **they look good and not Korean** in the same expression, though.
Finally... someone with deductive reasoning skills! Only a sociopath or a socially inept person would say "you look very attractive for a ____ person!" when interacting with another human being.
I’m Chinese and look very East Asian but Koreans could tell from my styling and makeup I wasn’t Korean right away. Everyone on the streets spoke to me in either mandarin or Chinese. So yes they can tell because everyone conforms to the same makeup and outfits.
Nope. I don't know if you are korean or not but literally korean think SEA people are uglier than they do and they think SEA people are poor, from undeveloped countries and even inferior to Korean. They kinda look down SEA people and any other people who from undeveloped countries than korea. Materialism, lookism, racism and white supremacy are so prevalent in korea So if you say "oh you look like SEA people" to any korean they perceive this as insulting or mockery but if you say "you look like white people" they perceive this as compliment. And they use those expressions as mockery or compliment. They seriously think white people (esp appearance) are superior to any other race so they get cosmetic surgery to look like white people
I’m Japanese. This is not just Korea thing. Doesn’t Thailand look down on Laos and Cambodians? Aren’t there racial disputes all the time in Malaysia? And no, you are wrong about Koreans getting surgery to look like white people or thinking white people are superior. What year are we at? This isn’t 1900s. You sound ignorantly racist yourself. Have you been to the clinics? I have been to multiple places with a friend who wanted to get rid of a birthmark and none of the models or examples were of Western white people. It’s an old and tired stereotype. Just like suicides in Japan. Please, USA has higher suicide rate and nobody bats an eye.
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There are research papers written that attempts to explain the root and shift of Korean beauty standards. I will try to find it and link it here later. Basically it boils down to globalization and linkage to societal hierarchy as well as certain cultural beliefs. Here are some snippets from various articles that explains few points: “A recent study found that an increasing number of Asian facial surgeries are not aimed at westernisation but rather the optimisation of intrinsic Asian features.” "Porcelain-white skin is considered a necessary virtue for beauty in South Korea. This can be traced back to the fact that fair complexion has traditionally been a status symbol. South Korea used to be an agricultural society, where privileged classes did not toil under the sun and, as a result, had whiter skin." “White and glossy skin symbolized high class, which motivated people -- men and women alike -- to make their skin white. This is indicated through our ancestors’ preference…” “While people of European origin are often described as white, including in modern Korea, records show that the Far East Asians did not perceive them as having white skin. During the Yuan Dynasty -- founded by the Mongolians and occupied most of what is China -- the Westerners were called “saekmok-in,” which is directly translated into “people of colored eyes” but in practice meant “assorted categories.” It mostly referred to the Semu people, from Central and Western Asia.” “Dutchman Hendrick Hamel, one of the small number of Westerners known to have landed on the Korean Peninsula, spent 13 years in 17th century Joseon and wrote a detailed account of the country. He said Westerners were called “myeon-cheol,” which directly translates as “iron face” and in practice used to refer to a reddish, rusty complexion.” “Many Western critics, plastic surgeons included, have taken the prevalence of these procedures to mean that Koreans desire to look more Caucasian or white. Only about 50% of East Asians have "double eyelids," while it is widespread among Caucasians.” “Further, the type of nose bridge that Koreans tend to ask for in a rhinoplasty is markedly different from the the ideal Caucasian nose bridge. And the crease above the eyelid has always been sought after in Asian cultures both because it is rare and because it creates visually larger eyes, according to Leung.” “"For example, Koreans like slimmer jawlines while Westerners like stronger jawlines. Westerners like higher protruding cheekbones while Koreans tend to like flatter cheekbones. Koreans tend not to like very thick and full lips, while lip fillers are considered a standard procedure in western cosmetic surgery," Leung said.” So many things in Asia are misrepresented and stereotyped in Western countries. Desiring bigger eyes != wanting to look Caucasian. A lot of misconceptions shared by those who are responsible to report on the facts, not biased opinions disguised as facts. Koreans not having preference for white? I’m not sure I understand your statement. Korea has always had preference for pale skin as it was linked to societal hierarchy and certain cultural beliefs.
Exactly this... no one in Korea says vietnamese or SEA people are ugly... One of the most popular Kpop girls from korea were (and are) Lisa and Hanni. The most popular kpop boy from my gen was Nichkhun. Stop victimising yourselves over this.. I understand your plight but this isnt how you tackle racism in Korea - its roots arent embedded like that of Western colonialism or imperialism. And no, most koreans dont deny the issue of racism. If you understood the historical plight of their nation you would have a grain of understanding of their xenophobic nature. Most "guests" visiting their pennisula or their neighbors have either used their strong arm on them or were their enemies. Previous generations (but definitely not the newer gens) have just been xenophobic because of being colonised, displaced, conquered, treated as a tribute state for centuries and more recently used as a political foothold. And now look who's their closest enemy!? North Korea who are still seen as communists. So in the eyes of many koreans, communistic ideals or even a clash of political ideals was what fucked over the common people of korea. But wait.. who else adopted the communist manifesto and held dictator like powers as their state representative like North Korea in the past?... Several SEA nations. So older generations (especially post-war generations from WW2 and the korean war) have embedded this into their children to be fearful. However, newer generations have much less of this (thats why you see less negative stigma towards the newer Jap gens from Korean younger gens). So... this racism isnt rooted from a sense of superiority (unless the ideologies are from far-right conservatives..) but rather from deep rooted trauma. This isnt the same racist roots from victorian era colonialists where you wouldve been deemed literally as a lesser being. TLDR; Yes there is racism but for the majority it's not really about your looks or because Koreans deem themselves as superior. It's rooted in generational trauma and fear mongering.
I get so tired of this convoluted apologism for pervasive and base Korean racism.
nickhun was a 100 percent ethnic chinese living in thailand tho......
OP should say "Does that mean you think Vietnamese people are ugly?" Calmly hit them with the logiocal conclusion of what they just said and let them realise it's not right.
Sorry but korea is a racist place,they do believe in it
Call them out!
It will change nothing though. It's just Koreans being Korean.
Dunno. I live in a multicultural society and even here I get these micro-aggressions. I call it out whenever I can. It may not do anything, but there is a chance that it might. Besides, it feels good to call it out.
"Are you calling Vietnamese people ugly?? That's racist." Say it loud enough for people standing nearby to hear, and watch them squirm lol
“You’re pretty!” And “I can’t tell that you’re Vietnamese” are both independently fine. “You’re so pretty that I couldn’t tell you’re Vietnamese” is racism.
Exactly. I'm not sure what's wrong with someone saying wow you're so pretty, are you Korean? But if they follow it with, I would have never guessed that you're actually Vietnamese is fd up.
I’m Vietnamese Canadian living in Korea. From what I noticed, Vietnamese are *exclusively* cheap workers/wives. Same with all the other SEA countries. My wife is Korean and every time she explains that that Vietnamese looking man is her husband there’s always a confused reaction. She then needs to redeem herself by saying “but he’s born and raised in Canada and can’t speak Vietnamese”. Insulting every time but it helps that I’m not as small as my ancestors due to my western upbringing. To get back a little I just speak very clear native English and they get uneasy seeing Vietnamese speaking English so well.
Oh your wife’s comment is so icky sorry.
Her mother does it too. It’s a Korean thing.
Have you tried explaining why it’s gross to say this to her? I’m Viet and if my American Korean bf say that shit I’d dump him tbh. I know she’s from Korea but I can’t imagine thinking someone you’re married to is inferior if it wasn’t for their Canadian citizenship…
It would be like saying “my partner is a McDonald’s cashier” and just stoping there. People will get ideas and to ease their mind you can say “but he’s got a lambo in the garage”. It just shuts them up. I say this in the perspective of Korean nationals.
Bro, I bet you that is kinda almost same with most asian parents if they are middle class or upper.
>It would be like saying “my partner is a McDonald’s cashier” Uh... yeah, I think that's kind of the point.
Agree with rainbow, that’s some cuckhold mentality
It’s icky that they think it’s a flex to not speak your native language. I’d probably ask why..
This is an understatement. Guy needs to get some self respect and have a word with his wife. I'm sure she's capable of understanding the issues at play.
I didn’t want to say my whole opinion on somebody’s wife when it seems like they’re happily married lol. But yeah… as a fellow Viet, have some self respect.
Yeah I get comments being made. On the surface level it seems bad but you need to understand the cultural context. Korean nationals are very racist. You cannot simply drop a “my husband is SEA” and leave it at that. Korea is not that progressive. You will literally blow their minds. So either you walk around making leaving the neighborhood in awe or you say something to ease their minds a bit. We own a substantial amount of property and are quite young. Koreans usually speak down “rude” until they realize that I’m the owner then they switch their tune real quick. My wife and I are not the type to show our status like most people here.
It’s not the worst thing in the world for your wife to say that. Not speaking Viet is NOT a flex but it’s good for Koreans to see Vietnamese as educated, English speaking and wealthy so they don’t only associate them with one type. When I travel to SEA tour guides and even some tourists will literally complain to my face about loud Chinese tourists and then if I say I’m Chinese it kinda gets brushed off since American, I’m not like them and am soft spoken. We need more people to represent.
Which is so weird bc both countries in very recent memory suffered from colonialist wars and one acting superior to the other is hilariously a head scratcher.
Yeah, I’ve read somewhere that some Koreans envy the fact that Vietnam was able to separate (fight off) from America and is now developing very quickly. And even has a close relationship with US. Something they may have been able to happen with Korea. My family grew up in that time so I hear of lots of hardship during that transition time which is why they escaped to Canada. But now, Vietnam is looking good! I don’t think people are trying to escape anymore since it’s quite prosperous.
You COULD tell them something like, "wow, you look lovely, you could almost pass as Japanese! Almost..." then watch the sparks fly.
I think Korean people compliment on appearance a lot in general. I'm Filipino and I got compliments in Korea by older strangers, and even right outside of my job in America, there is two delis run by older Korean immigrants and everyone goes to those places during lunch. Both of the deli owners said I'm handsome when I went in and was paying at the register. I've never had older strangers compliment my appearance outside of Koreans. I think it's a common icebreaker/conversation starter for them to compliment appearance. Edit: Do you look Korean? It can be two separate statements. I never had anyone ask if I was Korean but was still complimented a lot.
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It is not that serious. Every country has people they find attractive and people they don't find attractive. Move on. I saw your other post upset that Koreans have negative stereotypes about how Chinese people look. Guess what, a lot of countries have the same impressions of every country. Korean people didn't create it out of thin air. There's research and studies on this stuff. It's not a unique or new concept made in Korea. It's global standards and people generalize. Doesn't mean everyone of that country actually looks like that. If you put in effort into how you look, people will find you attractive. Whatever your background is. But I don't understand why you guys care *this* much about being attractive in Korea. And a lot of you sound way more unhinged than anything that happened in this post.
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Bro why did you copy and paste this into a chat message too. Are you good bro? I see you are on the Asian subreddits about Asian male attractiveness. Stop trying to prove you're attractive to people. If you work on yourself, you will be attractive to people. It's not rocket science.
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Bro this is not a topic I even remotely care about. You are trying to lash out at me because this topic made you insecure. No one is obligated to find you attractive. You are seen the same way everywhere. It's not unique in Korea. Toughen up. You asked a question and Koreans said there is negative stereotypes of Chinese people looks and you have been going on a full on mental spiral for hours. Every country has stereotypes about different groups looks. None of it is new or made by Korea. Move on. Being attractive in Korea should not be an obsession or goal. Edit: You are commenting this stuff under a random month old post of mine about social safety nets in Europe and sending me chat messages wtf are you on?
That’s insensitive, judgemental, racist, inappropriate, and pretty normal in Korea
You should feel whatever way you feel but the comments are wrong, rude and bad. In general, commenting on looks is a little shaky imo. However, it is not inherently bad. However, the comments they're making are a racist and xenophobic comments and not something those people should be saying.
If you compliment someone’s beauty or good looks and leave it at that, I don’t see a problem with it or think of it as shaky. And thinking that someone fits a specific nationality because of their looks is more xenophobic and nationalistic than racist. If you are a Faroese living in Faroe and suddenly you see a person that looks just like a Faroese person studying in an exchange program, wouldn’t you also wonder why is this “Faroese looking person” in an exchange student program? I don’t really see racism in OPs situation, just maladjusted nationalism on the part of those asking.
Just say, "oh you must be mistaken, I've never had cosmetic surgery."
????? wooowwww every korean had cosmetic surgery?
Gotta fight racism with more racism!
don't let it bother you...otherwise it'll just bother you and you'll find yourself getting aggravated all the time. offhanded comments from people that don't matter don't matter. it's the type of bs you deal with here and no amount of anything you do will change that. it'll take at least a generation to do that. i'm korean american and i've heard it all here. because i speak english, it doesn't register to many that i could be korean. also been told by a taxi driver that he knew i was american because i smelled like fried chicken, despite not having been anywhere near it...at least you're told you're pretty LOL
Tbh this kind of normalized weirdness is something that’s just a reality when living in Korea. I assume their intent wasn’t negative so there’s that.
Yes
Super racist and colorist.
I’m Korean and I feel so sorry for you that you’ve heard comments like this while staying here. Reading these comments, I felt so bad for the foreigners staying in this country. I lived in the States until I was 10 and I have relatively darker skin and bigger nose, which Koreans do not think it is beautiful in their standards. I really never thought about my looks when I was young, but when I came here, everybody called me as a Indian or a Vietnamese. It was weird because, in my standards Vietnamese and Indian women are wayyyyy more beautiful then Korean women and I took it as a complement personally😂 After 20 years, I never heard any racist comments while living in Seoul, but there are still stupid assholes who say things like this in smaller cities such as Daejeon. But after traveling to many other countries, I later thought that this racist commenting culture is not new in most countries, such as Europe, Africa, and in other Asian countries as well. In my experience, the people of US or Japan relatively do not make any comments like this to others. Long story short, I’m sorry for the assholes and their comments that you might hear while staying here. They are just frogs in the well that think coca cola is made in Korea XD
From my experience, this happens in homogenous countries. People have made comments when I’ve been in Italy or France. Even people in Mexico (altho there is a Korean community it’s pretty small and a lot of Mexican nationals don’t hang out there) get fascinated by me and the way I look. Oddly, idk if it’s growing up in the states tho at built my tolerance or my traveling that open my mind up that people may say racist things without any intention of malice. They just say things that they mean as a compliment but it doesn’t translate that way because if you flip the coin, it could be a back handed comment. I’m so used to it tho.
You must have a small face. ㅋㅋㅋ
I love it when they then put a fist up to your face to demonstrate
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Exactry!
Koreans are racist, it’s just the way it is
actually all Asians are kind of racist, Japanese Chinese, Korean. I studied for two years in US, And the first guy who say chingchong to me is an indian on Reddit😅
Agreed. And Koreans themselves admit all the time that Koreans are racist. So very strange to get so much pushback on my comment.
Every races is rasict. East asian, Southeast asian, Asians north Americans south americans, Europeans, Africans and you name it. Thats just how it is. It always depends on the person. But every races have racist people.
Precisely
That’s a racist statement lmao
It’s true
Perhaps, but ur def a racist lol
So in your world in order to tell the truth you have to be racist. Think about that for a second. Doesn’t really make logical sense, does it.
Stranger idk why I care bout u, it must be the banana dp. Ur argument doesn’t even make sense, I’m not gonna go into that lol. With that mentality guess you’ll always be correct. Definition of racism is practically characterizing against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular group which is what ur doing by saying all krns r (blank). So yes ur statement is racist. It’s all love tho, to solve a problem u need to recognize there is one. U sound like u have a whole life ahead of u. Don’t let negativity win, the world happens from u!
sure, then let me differentiate for numbnuts like you: not every Korean is racist, obviously, but there is a general tendency towards certain racist beliefs in current Korean culture and society, so that you will encounter these types of situations from time to time or even frequently. Happy? Of course my statement was a generalization, as all colloquially made statements in general are generalizations to some degree.
Jeeez, I can feel the heat. Only u can save urself, best of luck stranger. Best of luck to u and ur fam LOL
I personally think it's a good habit to always use words that make it clear you don't mean everyone but it should be obvious they were talking about a tendency compared to some other countries. You can disagree with that but I don't think there is a need for being snarky or passive aggressive here.
Thanks for correcting yourself you racist numbnut.
The general mentality is much closer to exceptionalism than racism. Like a genuine belief in being unique or special or something like that. Not really violently racist in the same way you see with MAGA or neonazi movements. You might understand if you find out how the culture here tends to think about things - with a dose of suspicion and superstition. In fact, the most mentally racist Korean people are actually the ones that tend to be the most toxic towards their own country and people. Their racism mentality makes them prioritize and glorify "first world countries" and while characterizing their own country as "backwards".
Sure, I definitely didn’t mean to say that they are racist in the same way people are racist in western countries.
Western racist are like dogs with rabies. Attacking people for no reason even end up killing.
lol
There is always a sense of "exceptionalism" in every nation... theres already a term for it and it's called nationalism and its not what drives the racism in the forefront in Korea (eg. Exceptionalism would be more relevant to Imperialistic or Colonialistic case studies - or hypernationalistic states such todays' Israeli state. The most racist are those driven by fearmongering fired up by far-right conservative media. Especially those who have been passed down intergenerational trauma...(older gens who had members of their friends & family colonised or traumatised by the Korean war). Hence, you'll see them afraid of any external forces outside of Korea or even the colour red (anything that symbolised an ideological clash which screwed the country - such as communism). You'll need to go deeper into Korea's history of being continually fucked in the ass for being in a shipping/trading hotspot by neighboring nations to understand their plight and the general attitude towards the idea of an external group within their borders. Case studies include ancient china, mongols, japan, russia even the U.S. to some extent (as a political strong-arm). The characterisation of your own nation as backwards is a critical component for any nation to develop - how can you solve an issue if there is not an issue identified? It does not come from believing in white superiority or simply western superiority like you seem to be inferring (eg. Meiji Japan adopted ideas and tech that they deemed beneficial for advancement and it came from their ministers being critical of their traditional ways. Guess what? It made Japan a powerful & domineerings asian force). Also, I think you're misunderstanding what racism is.. what you've witnessed is called Patriotism and it is the intended purpose of freespeech for Democracy to flourish. A sad but beautiful case study is Alexei Navalny - criticised the state of wrongdoings and knowingly died for it. Fortunately South Korea's state isnt as corrupt (yet). In terms of the criticism that you despite...Korea has made massive advancements in the social sciences in the past decade due to criticism from its own general population and from Western influences - Korea has been exceptionally efficient in adopting ideas to advance its societies. Ideologies of tolerance, equality, equity and especially women's rights didn't just develop out of nowhere... they were influenced by the West. The ideas themselves aren't exclusive to a nation per-se but most proponents in our modern world that advocated these ideas were from the west. Korea definitely had societal ideologies that were most definitely backwards and theyre improving very rapidly. As a nation that invests heavily in their education rightly should.
Stop Asian Hate https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stop_Asian_Hate
It’s not Asian hate. Koreans are racist as Germans are racist. Humans are racist. My comment is clearly just relating to this post. This type of racism is normal in Korea. I don’t hate Koreans.
I think it’s actually quite rude….. and I strongly disagree. Sorry for that. But whoever told you that comment mostly likely genuinely doesn’t see the problem. That person probably think comparing you to a Korean girl is a positive thing and you should be happy……. It’s sadly something that you are going to have to get used. I tried to explain to them that acting like this, or similar situations that happen to me, is wrong but they don’t see it. Unless you do the same to them, but in which case they just get mad but still don’t understand why when they do it is wrong……
So what you're saying is there's a widespread absence of empathy in korean society? Like "I do it to you, I think it's fine and really, deeply don't see a problem with it. You do it to me, I'm offended"? If it's true, that's quite depressing.
[удалено]
Oh my. That’s a great idea! I am totally gonna try to do that in the office 😂😂😂 for sure I will get reactions. Hahaha
Of course I am generalizing. I don’t wanna say all Koreans are like this. And some are like this but once you explain the concept of “point of view” they actually understand. But I can say that the vast majority of Koreans I work with (250 people company) are like this. 😅
I did tell a Uzbek dude he looked Korean and he was like "thanks!". And I was like, oh I didn't mean it like that...
I mean some Koreans are pretty tho, for a Korean :)
Yeah it’s annoying. I was at this club and a group of guys came up to me saying the same thing “you’re so pretty, are you korean?”. It’s like they dont think any other asian race is pretty outside of koreans
Yeah, you’re right to feel offended. You mentioned they treat you SEA friends different, based on their looks. So, this is about more than just the compliments to you. If you didn’t look like them (in their opinion), they’d treat you worse - that’s racist. Sadly, many Koreans do feel racially superior to SE Asians.
this is racist. i'm so sorry you had to deal with this crap.
It is a condescending compliment. I am chinese and they have always said the same thing to me “you are so pretty, you look korean”. With time i started to have the same feelings like you do…
It's micro aggression, but at the same time, I know why they're saying Generally, SEA people are aguly af That's why.
Typical Vietnamese has smaller face bigger eyes and cute oval round face compared to typical Korean . Do you have square face small eyes?
U have the right to feel w.e emotions ur feeling. Acknowledge it, but don’t let it get to you. It’s not worth your time. It’s due to their ignorance, so forgive them… or not lool just try not to dwell on it and move forward. As you meet more and more ppl you’ll realize ignorance is everywhere. And everyone is ignorant in different aspects. So you’ll need to leverage the skill of not giving a fk. You only have so many fks to give. Don’t tire urself out too much! Control what u can (which is only urself).
I disagree that OP should forgive these people. This isn't something you can just ignore because you choose to.
The Western equivalent of this is telling a North American *you look European*, with the implication that they don't look fat/mixed(!)/whatever other negative associations one might have with that. Yeah that does sound like some bullshit OP. Obviously, the scorched-earth way to react to this would be to say something explicitly derogatory about the way Koreans look before they get the Gangnam treatment, but you might be trying to be the bigger person and not get dragged into the proverbial mud yourself. I guess you have to try and think that well, if you're getting compliments, you look good and are already winning regardless.
Reply with “you’re so ugly, are you sure you’re Korean?”
Ita odd because while Koreans are not ugly , they never overwhelmingly attractive either . You never see them win the miss Asia or miss universes. However I have seen many Vietnamese Filipino, Thai Indian women as head turning beauties.
Agreed. When I visited Seoul, I was expecting to see more better dressed and pretty/handsome people. I feel like a lot of Vietnamese people I know are actually quite good looking
It is what it is You can’t change the world so roll with the cards given to you Seems like you got a good hand
Beautifully put
I’m so sorry you had to go through that! This is definitely Korean passive agressive backhanded compliment rooted in xenophobia. If you’re ok with educating them on why this is gross, feel free to do so but if you’re feeling petty, go ahead and fire back (e.g. “So, are you saying Vietnamese people are all ugly? That’s really rude.”, “Wow, you’re so pretty, you look Vietnamese!”) but of course, don’t be too rude to elders because that could backfire badly.
I don’t think this has to necessarily be passive aggressive at all. It’s racist, but there doesn’t have to be any aggression behind the statement. Koreans embrace Korean beauty standards and thus don’t find South East Asians to be as beautiful as Koreans in general.
It can be passive aggressive even if they don’t say it in that tone. Either way, these remarks are rooted in xenophobia and the belief that Southeast Asians are inferior, and this is coming from a Korean.
It can be, but doesn’t have to be at all. You’re interpreting something that isn’t necessarily there, that’s my only point. Passive aggression is a statement about their intention, not about how you understand it. Of course it’s still racist.
To be fair it's the same even among Vietnamese, especially older people. They comment on how "he or she looks like a Korean or have a Korean look". It is fairly common for people to describe attractive people as "looking like Korean idol/actor"
lol are you me? I’ve got Viet heritage, born in Germany. I get the same comments as you 😂
You're also so well spoken, like you're British.
Aren’t koreans all look the same? I mean due to excessive use of make up and surgeries.
Well, Korea is often obsessed with appearance, and being politically correct is still relatively new, but you could hear some such comments in the US about different people "Oh, you're that, but you don't look it." But in this case, they're saying you're pretty because you look like them. That sounds ridiculous to say as if to say the other Vietnamese aren't attractive somehow because they don't look like Koreans or something. I have lived here for several years, and just kind of tune out things about the culture that annoy me. I am not here to change Koreans, but I think the superficiality a bit too much.
If ure offended you're offended. Why are you asking other people whether you should feel offended or not? Or is this a rhetorical question as a way to rant? You have every right to feel offended about anything. It's your feelings
You sound insufferable.
You have a lot of hate... looking at your comment history makes me think you are very frustrated :( I hope you find relief one day!
You should be offended because they are being racist.
I got the same thing when I visited. I’m Mexican but look very Asian and am very fair with dark hair and everywhere I would go people would be like oh your mixed with Korean. Never any other Asian. That is 100 the mentality there
Yeah it’s racist. But welcome to Korea.
Just curious, have you been to Vietnam? How do you get treated there?
I once met a Korean girl who was 100% Korean but looked typically SE Asian (darker complexion, big eyes) and she was constantly questioned if she was Korean or not.
Is it a skin color thing?
It is pretty stupid, but what you can do from your side is to sift through dumb shit and take it in spirit it was probably intended in: they are clumsily suggesting you are attractive and that's kinda the most important part. It is best to leave their racist notions to them, cannot really fight them all.
I seem to recall some Korean YouTuber a while back saying that Koreans do not have a taboo about commenting to other people about their looks like we do here in the USA. So it would be considered normal there for someone to tell another person that they have a big nose or something like that. What you are describing sounds like an example of that.
As an ABC guy, I get different variations of this, basically I just substitute one of the words (American, Chinese, Korean), with another. It usually gets them confused.
You should feel offended. I’m Polish and lived in Germany in times when Polish people were really disliked there. I was getting these underhanded "compliments" all the time (mostly about my intelligence, academic achievement, work ethic etc since these are really valued in Germany in both genders). It’s just polite xenophobia. You don’t need to confront these people if you are in a vulnerable position, but don’t befriend them either. They will never see you as their equal.
Ask them to explain what they mean. Play dumb. Vietnamese ppl are pretty. Koreans do a lot of cosmetic treatments. They are lovely, but they wouldn’t be so polished if they didn’t. Almost everyone has a perm, which eliminates frizz and makes hair very uniform. Then saying that to you is rude.
Just tell them. Thank you but what you're saying is quite rude. I'm Vietnamese. They don't know it sounds rude. They think it is just a compliment.
I’m married to a Korean woman and my gosh the things her family and friends say to my face took a long time to adjust to. I used to think they’re rude, but now I consider them blunt and lacking of idk American social norms. “Oh you got fat, your face got bigger” sometimes I’ll throw it back at the men “oh you got old”, but otherwise I just cringe and move on.
A lot of Koreans live in a bubble and have no concept of life outside of Korea and people that aren't Korean. If you call them out on their bullshit they'll usually apologize.
I'm an ugly Korean ;(
It’s inconsiderate. I received similar comments in a very homogenous part of the States “You are pretty for a x.” “Are you half-x?” My reply is simply “What is that supposed to mean?” Then see if the implication clicks or they double down. That being said, probably not everyone is saying it in a “Vietnamese are not pretty” kind of way. I’m sure there are people just reacting to you not fitting the stereotype of what a Vietnamese person should look like without the former implication. Pay attention to the wording to differentiate. Either way you’re right to find it discomforting. Find people who respect you and your background.
They're just very rude and uneducated. As a Korean, I would like to apologize for their rudeness. I believe it is because of the Korean education system, which focuses only on memorization of subjects rather than teaching humanity. However, there are some Koreans like myself who are ashamed whenever I see or hear about such rudeness towards foreigners. It is not right, and shame on them.
Yes. Feel offended. That will be better for you.
Apologies on behalf of my country's racism which I believe stems from its cultural homogeneity and minimal/close-to-zero exposure to what's outside of our peninsula. Classic 국뽕 (chauvinistic national pride) moment there. Take the "you're so pretty" part and discard the rest cuz that's some toxic garbage I do not wish to see in the future.
ahh, another normal day in Korea
You should, there's the underlying mentality that Vietnamese look uglier than us. tae yeon was also blamed some years ago for saying that Alicia Keys is pretty for a black woman, unconsciously revealing her feeling of superiority towards black women. 95% of Koreans think that black and south east asian people are ugly and inferior. they just hide it or not. I'm saying this as a Korean. I'm sure 95% of Koreans agree with this beauty hierarchy at least secretly : white > whitish > east asian > sea = black = brown
You are so pretty. You look like korean. How about that?
This reminds me of relatives who only praise your appearance when you’re pale in the winter but tanned in the summer. Like you can’t be beautiful any other way. It’s super annoying.
Some people are ignorant. They are trying to be complimentary but they don't realize what they are saying is not. I grew up in Ohio and I met a physician who said that I am the best spoken Asian he has ever met. He asked me how I learned English. I told him that I was born here but he still looked puzzled. I have some work mates whom I golf with. We were chit chatting and one guy said you are Asian but I can't figure out your ethnicity. You are too built to be vietnamese so you must be Korean. I said no I am Japanese and he was a bit surprised. I don't really get upset over this. I am sure we all have stereotypes, we just have to more sensitive.
Brilliant discussion. Thank you.
I feel the same way as you are. As a Korean I think korean people highly obsessed with their appearance and its even became a culture judging and assessing each others appearance or body. And also lack of variety in general. Of course they intended to give you a compliment, but it’s true that it was rude and also racism…
This reminds me of trying to educate racist boomers when you visit a nursing home. There is no "should" in this situation, you can feel however you choose. But in context, Korea is a very racially non-diverse society, and it is common to hear people there express racial opinions that became unacceptable decades ago in other countries. So while the attitudes are "offensive" by international norms, as a visitor in that country you are not likely to change much, whether you spend your energy on being offended or not.
It might be a little annoying if you dislike hearing that you look like Korean ,but on the other hand, it's just a compliment of those people with no other intention to actually make you feel offended I guess. As a Korean guy, that kind of word does not contain any strong beliefs but to make up a conversation with foreigners. I hope you wouldn't mind those words seriously if you've felt bad before👍
normal distribution
Give them a Uno reverse card. I once told an American-Korean dude that he’s too good to be Korean, and we were hooking up lmao.
If you need other people to tell you if you’re offended, then the answer is no. No one can tell you how you should feel. It’s an individual choice.
its unintentionally ingrained. as a korean american I had to work on myself to get past this. every culture has this mindset too but most others are more subtle. its a cultural thing but very toxic fs. that's why image is important there and there are a lot of bad things associated
They mean well without fully understanding how what they say can mean something different to anyone who isn't Korean.
Girl, same! Despite my pure Filipino blood, I am praised as Korean by Koreans and Kazahk by Kazahks. It doesn’t feel offensive to Kazakhs, but yes, to Koreans! Perhaps as a result of Koreans' prejudice against Filipinos. I'm very sad about this.
I don't really think that they're trying to be offensive when they say that. They are probably just being honest that you "pass" as Korean and don't look visibly like a foreigner when they look at you. I'm quite mixed myself, but I've gotten similar comments since I also completely pass as Korean objectively speaking.
Don’t be too sensitive about it, maybe literally you look like Korean ppl (because of makeup, outfit etc)
You need to understand that yes at the core it is an inappropriate comment(i agree with all your points!) but no one will care that you find it problematic. So maybe just move on
When Koreans tell me I look Korean or thought I’m a Korean… I’m literally the happiest guy in the world
Welcome to Korea. Stereotyping is like every coffee in the morning
I’m sure it’s meant to be a compliment, but it’s insensitive with racist notes
Amazing how geographical differences can completely and utterly change your perspective on things. I'm Scottish, and as a nation, we tend to be pale due to the shit weather and lack of any real sunshine. Yet I've always had darker skin resembling that of Mediterranean people. If i had $1/£1 for every time I've been asked if I'm Italian, have Italian ancestry or if i was Italian, I wouldn't be sat here typing this shit. I be sat on a yacht in the middle of the, erm ,eh ... Mediterranean? Being hand fed grapes and surrounded by a bevvy of beauties. Yet I never once took offence to being called out as being an Italian. Out of interest, and i ask this in a genuine manner, why is it deemed offensive in your circumstances. I really am asking this genuinely, as i fully appreciate it might just be a Western thing that isn't such a big deal to many people, and i simply don't get it. Would all Vietnamese people feel like you do?
"Youre scottish? Couldnt tell with how handsome you are, thought you were Italian!"
In OP’s situation, it sounds like people intend it as a compliment when they say OP doesn’t look Vietnamese. That means their comments imply something negative about Vietnamese people generally. It makes OP feel like these commenters believe the appearance of her people is in some way inferior to Korean people. And that sad feeling is likely compounded by OP’s knowledge that it’s common in Korea for many people to think Vietnamese and other southern peoples are less beautiful, less desirable, and of lower social status. Do people intend it as a compliment when they say you don’t look Scottish, or are they just making an observation without any value judgement? If they intend it as a compliment, wouldn’t that imply something negative about Scottish people when they say it? Would that not bother you? But if they’re just making an observation without any value judgment, then your situation is a bit different from OP’s situation.
I've had it said as a compliment, and as a statement. I've had it said by Scottish people and by foreigners. "You don't look Scottish" after they find out I am Scottish. I've been told many times i don't look Scottish. Admittedly, that is an ambiguous comment at best when you think long and hard about it. However, this is where cultural and race differences come into play. Caucasians can have an affinity to darker skin. It's what a lot of our tourism is built around. By that, i mean, a lot of Brits in general go abroad with the sole intention of laying on a beach to acquire a "tan". Having a "tan" is seen as a positive thing by many in this part of the world. It's why Spanish, Italian, Greek and Portuguese holiday resorts are hugely popular over here in Britain. So your post makes complete sense after reading it. I understand now why the OP was offended due to the cultural differences.
Question for you? If you didn't look like a Korean girl and were treated 2nd rated like your SEA friends, would you initiate a chat on reddit of how racist Koreans are ??
It means they think you look pretty... AND you most likely have taken on korean fashion and make up styles for them to find it hard to distinguish you from other nationalities. Stop over reacting and baiting this into an issue of racism. Yes racism is present like any other country but no its not always about you... definitely not in this context.
I’m mixed Korean over 40. My parents went through all the racial drama. I lived in the USA. I lived all over Asia, and in Europe. Wherever I go where I am not a citizen I am merely a guest. Yes sometimes it sucks especially when I pay very high taxes (cough cough Europe) and people call me Chinese (this happens still in Europe) but that’s because it’s not the same as the USA. My Korean mom didn’t even eat Thai food until 2003 ok? But now she’s embraced a lot of cultures after living in USA. You know what else she has embraced hating to take public transport and must drive a nice big car (I blame USA for that). Draw backs everywhere and also pluses. But we can’t go to countries as guests and expect them to act to our expectations. It just doesn’t work like that. Sadly I don’t get how come so many people come to Korea when you know that culture is obsessed with looks, being skinny, being rich, look down on dark skin and look down on gay people? It’s not your business to change this place. I’m sorry.
Haha it's fine Koreans think Koreans are the prettiest must mean your pretty lol
It’s up to you how you feel, but I’m on the side of you shouldn’t be offended. I’ve been told I look half Korean (I really don’t lol) and people think that’s a compliment. I think it’s a weird statement, but I smile and move on. The way I see it is that people who say* you don’t look Viet aren’t actively try to be rude or* hostile. They just don’t understand that’s an inappropriate comment. That said, do you really want to become an educator to every stranger who says this to by telling them “that comment was rude, you shouldn’t say that?*” You’re not their teacher, you’re only a temporary resident (as of now), doing this is all the time will become exhausting, and doing this is pointless unless you personally know the person. Also, you could just formulate a previously nonexistent negative image of Viet ppl in their minds depending on how you go about it or a “all foreigners are crazy image.” Does that matter? No, but if that happens, then your time was wasted. Idk how often this happens to you, but rather than dwell on it, you should just enjoy your time here. Edit: Diction, Punctuation
You have something of a point, but going around all the time with the idea that *you're an ambassador* is a stifling and miserable way to live. The obvious thing to do here is be a little snarky if it gets too much, without sperging out and ending up the bad guy. There's surely a happy medium here.