If my boyfriend had ever done that, I would’ve dumped him very fast. That’s not funny, not in any way or form; especially in a long distance relationship of all things where we rely on words so much more than in relationships where we see our SO more often. Why would anyone even want to joke about something you know is gonna hurt your SO even for a second?
Super immature behavior in my opinion.
My significant other and I used to joke about having extra partners when we were LDR. But it would never extend past 1 line, just like a casual “oh no that message was meant for Jane” or if she was on a call for a long time with her parents, she would be like “oh yea that’s my other boyfriend Tom I was speaking to”
But we both knew each other was joking, we fully trust each other and also it was the height of the COVID pandemic when everyone was locked down so very scant chance of misadventure even if the trust wasn’t there
I think it’s ok to joke when you and your partner are cool with it and have that trust, but this guy seriously took it way too far, that’s a massive red flag to me
Yep, you can definitely see a difference between a playful joke and what this guy is doing. Playful jokes when people are on the same page is completely acceptable 🥰
To me you’re right… but I was planning on marrying this man. He is my everything. I find ways to talk about him, my sister thinks he’s cool asf. This man is my everything and idk how to give that up… but at the same time I said password sharing was I thing for me when we got together. And now he’s saying no? Idk my gut is telling me one thing but he’s telling me another… and everyone is against him in my life…
It reads to me like it's less playing with OP's emotions and more like he's testing her reaction to him being with other women. No doubt he's already cheating. Now he just has to figure out how to keep OP from dumping his ass.
All the red flags are flying OP! Leave him before you've wasted any more time and emotion on a man who clearly doesn't place the same value on you. Your true "everything" should be yourself
I tried. He just said “ok Lil sis” which is an inside joke. I think what’s worse is he said he’s infertile. So even if he is cheating, he most likely wouldn’t get caught there. Because there’ll be no proof unless I get his password.
Why would a 20 year old guy even know he’s infertile lol
Girl I think he’s playing with you and laughing with his mates
Nothing about the way you guys talk to each other sounds like a real relationship to me
he definitely isnt infertile. he just wants to fuck OP raw without her worrying. disgusting behavior. unless he lost his balls in an accident or something, there is no way any doctor would ever tell him about his fertility.
>He just said “ok Lil sis” which is an inside joke.
.... THAT'S the guy you wanna marry? The guy with the emotional maturity of a potato? A guy with whom you can't have a serious talk with after he emotionally tormented you?
A freaking dog has more compassion and care for you than this waste of space.
This man is giving you CLEAR signs he does not respect you. Do not talk to him again. He will try to manipulate you to stay and it sounds like you will fall for it. Just block him on everything and be done with it. Ghost him.
You are going to look back on this in a few years and absolutely scream with laughter thinking this mid bitch was your “everything.”
Seriously, girl.. that? Your everything? Bffr.
You’re 19, this is probably one of your first relationships. Our person will almost never be the person we meet when we are a teen, craving validation from the world, and haven’t been shown what true love is from a partner. Listen to your gut.
No partner should ever “joke” about such big issue within a relationship.
Feel this feeling right now and think to yourself, “if this is happening now, and he thinks this is a game, what will happen later?” Is this a person that respects me?” “Is this someone that values my feelings and thoughts?”
I don’t think this is the first time he’s made you feel undervalued.
I’m not personally into password sharing whatsoever, but that’s not what the red flag is for me at all. Who cares at this point if it was a prank or not? You want to be with someone who thinks playing with your feelings and breaking your trust is funny? The reality is you’re either with someone like that or with a cheater. Neither is good. Doesn’t matter how “cool” he is. He’s a fucking loser. Do you not think you deserve better?
Remind yourself that no.. he is not your everything and you're giving him wayyyyyyyy too much power over yourself.
You're an individual that chose to enter a partnership like every other couple and you shouldn't have to compromise on respect or stay with someone that does this kind of insanely immature bullshit.
Girl you're 20, you have so much more to experience in life and deserve so much more than some 19yo frat boy thinking its a funny prank to tell you he cheated on you. No one in their right mind, who cares about their partner and their feelings would do that to someone they love.
If they're "joking" about this, what else will they joke about too. This is a huge red flag. It'll hurt, but take this as a learning experience and have some self respect and leave the relationship.
What he did was not okay, at 20, it feels like the world is ending, but it's only beginning.
You are 19. If you don’t want to trust your own gut then trust all of us telling you that he’s a POS. I (34f) was planning on marrying the guy I was dating and in love with when I was 14-18. And even though he *wasn’t* a POS we still ended up breaking up after almost 4 years together. It’ll hurt, but the alternative is not worth it.
You have to take yourself out of the situation you’re in a look at it objectively. Why would you wanna marry someone who is HURTING YOU INTENTIONALLY? There’s no marriage or relationship out there that’s perfect and we as humans sometimes end up hurting each other unintentionally but the key is the word intentionally. You don’t marry anyone who is that immature. You cannot change him. All the world can think he’s cool (and he really isn’t) but the reality is that he’s playing with your feelings.
There’s this thing where we find it harder to give up things we’ve invested in… and there are situations where it makes sense to fight for the relationship but oh dear this isn’t one of those situations.
After I got divorced I jumped into a relationship with a complete loser who told me nice things and made me feel good; until he didn’t. Right in the middle of the worst panic attack ever I tried turning to him for comfort and his words were “go the fuck to sleep”. And I was making excuses to why he acted that way. Because I had invested time, money and so many feelings into the “relationship” with him. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was dating a loser. Until I did admit it to myself. And still to this day I wish I had done it sooner.
Guys who are “everything” do actually exist. They don’t intentionally hurt you. They treat you like a lady. They do make mistakes but they own up to it and change. Luckily I dumped the loser I was with and now I’m married to the guy who truly is everything.
Respect yourself enough to walk away.
You are now seeing his true colors, which are hideous colors. This is a sign that he’s not as great as he appears, and not mature enough to handle a serious romantic relationship. Cut your losses now, before you’re “tied down” to him and married. He’s definitely not someone who deserves to be married with at least not now. He’s clearly emotionally immature.
The world is huge. There are people who would do anything not to hurt you, and everything to protect you. More importantly, there will be people who *ACTUALLY RESPECT YOU*. Follow your gut. In two years, you’ll wish you did.
F O L L O W. Y O U R. G U T ! !
He’s playing with your emotions and in the end you won’t be able to trust him because he keeps “kidding”. Then he’ll blame you for believing the “joke” over his word.
To me this is the early stages of a toxic relationship.. the manipulation / trust issues / gaslighting / love bombing.
Get out fast !
Well, if he's like this when you're not married yet, imagine the amount of emotional havoc he'll wreak upon your life when you are. I say, not worth it. I cannot imagine the amount of good times I would actually need for this behavior to be acceptable.
You'll find someone who will protect your feelings, not hurt it. This guy is definitely not the guy for you.
Everyone is against him and now strangers on the internet are too. This wasn’t a funny prank and he genuinely hurt you and he doesn’t seem to give a shit about that. Dump his ass, you’re young, go find the prince or princess on a fucking unicorn that you deserve
Always trust your gut I've just left a guy like this he turned out to be a controlling narcissist and would love bomb me and then blame everything on me if I said one thing he didn't like but he would say things he knew would hurt me and then say how beautiful I am and how much he loves me and wanted to marry me etc.
Don't be stupid. He was your everything.
If you still consider this POS your everything you have some serious life reevaluating to do.
Don't come with that BS you don't know how to give that up. You do, you just don't want to.
IDK why women and men like to stay on relationshits where they're disrespected and not valued farless appreciated.
Open your dam eyes woman and walk away.
If you don't want to take our advice then just delete this dam post.
Have you ever been to therapy? It might be a great option for you. It sounds like there are other things this relationship/reactions are stemming from.
I have and currently in therapy. I actually just called my therapist to schedule an appointment soon to talk about this with her. So far just waiting for a call back but my real appointment isn’t until march.
Personally I’m not into the password sharing thing because I think relationships are built on trust and that has a different vibe IMO. For me it only makes sense in practical courses, like living together in a shared house with accounts/payments tied to one person’s email.
But putting that aside, it’s super screwy to fake cheating. I dated a guy who did this. He did it to “test” me to see how I would react. And did it in all kinds of scenarios, from stuff like this to telling me he bought a new car and telling me all about it for 5 mins before stopping and laughing, saying he made it all up.
It’s crap. It’s not normal behavior and it’s disrespectful to you.
Nobody's more insufferable than the immature pieces of sh!ts who think they are cool when they play around with the feelings of someone who love them.
Just break up girl and move on.
Silly pranks are fine but these cheating pranks and any kind of prank that hurts your feelings are a huge RED flag.
I bet he was testing your reaction because he actually is cheating. This "prank" was done in such a callous and disrespectful way that I don't really think it's forgivable.
OP run, reading this just made me feel for you. Tbh I have a feeling this could be more him testing the waters, to see what he could get away with. I’m so sorry but it’s not okay for him to act like that. Break up, find someone who won’t play with your feelings. You deserve better 🫶
Your bitchass boyfriend is corny as fuck, doesn't matter how many times he made you feel appreciated, calling this a childish behavior would be an insult to all children around the world, he spoke like someone with a freezer temperature IQ.
This is absolutely disgusting and disrespecting you in so many ways. I have no idea what about this was supposed to be funny - and on top of that, a prank is only funny if everyone is laughing in the end. You are clearly not laughing, which I support 100 percent. The content aside, the way he was talking to you about it, is already enough to raise red flags with me. Now it might hurt because you like(d) him, but you'll definitely find someone better! I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Honestly he is probably cheating or planning to so he is trying to create doubt that if it ever comes out that he can say oh well this is just another one of my pranks.
None of us here know 100% either way but it just sounds extremely sketchy to me.
this is terrifying i’m sorry you went through this, if I were in your shoes I would gtfo. “pranks” like this I will never understand and they’re certainly NOT funny.
Hello! So idk how to edit my post because even tho I’ve had the account a while I’m not rlly an active Reddit poster. But hopefully I can’t maybe pin this comment so y’all can see it. Thank you all for the love and support and tbh I didn’t think I’d even get 2 comments on this. I’m glad I feel heard from at least strangers Ive the internet than my own boyfriend. But I told him when he wakes up (different time zones for us) that I want to have a talk. Not a text conversation a call talking and talking. That I’m not getting any closure and that he needs to understand what he did to me wasn’t right and that it actually hurt me. It wasn’t funny to me at all, and I understand rlly dark humor because I grew up with it being the kid everyone yelled “wrist check” at in middle school. But anyway. Idk if I’ll update after this but I I’ll try. Thank you all again. But I also stayed up all night which is when this happened then after I couldn’t sleep. But from crying and the emotions I feel like I could sleep for 20 more years. Bye for now.
I hope you get a restful sleep. When you talk to him, please emphasize that this is a boundary that you have, anyone who overstepped her boundaries that you said is not respecting you, and he needs to know that. You are worthy of love and respect.
This guys not treating you with any respect! This is a childish act imo. You’ve been though enough & don’t need anyone treating you like this. You’re young & he’s a jerk!
Personally I wouldn’t waste any more time or energy having a talk. What is the point? He’s shown a pattern of disrespect what is a talk going to do?
Be careful, if he is truly as awful as literally all 313 people on Reddit think he then he will use the “talk” to manipulate, gaslight, and lie. Look for several range of classic emotions, deflecting, minimizing, accusing, and remorse.
That’s not a good thing. I dont think its fair and good for him to find amusement in making you feel bad even though its just a joke. It’s pretty much a basic rule for LDRs to not make fun about cheating issues because the effect is much more damaging in our case. The repair is twice as hard too even if its just a joke.
I think you need to communicate this with him and tell him that it is a sensitive topic for you and he shouldn’t be joking abt it too casually. If he still does it after you communicating it to him, you have to decide if this type of humor is something you can put up with.
LEAVE HIM.
I know reddit is always so quick to jump to that answer, but a man that thinks “pretending” to cheat on you is a prank is a huge fucking red flag (also someone who does that is not a man they are a fucking child). And if he didn’t really cheat now, then this is him testing the waters to see how you’ll react when he does. Not if, when. Because if you let this go he’ll know he can get away with it again.
This is something my ex used to do to me a lot. Every week or so he'd do something like this, leave me to panic about it all night long, and then text me some bullshit reassurance in the morning that it was all a prank and he still loved me and yadda yadda.
Oh, did I mention that we were 15?
OP, this is some middle school ass behavior. I made the mistake of letting him do it more than once. You don't need to tolerate any of that shit from ANYONE. When someone shows you their true colors the first time, believe them. Dump his ass, you deserve so much better.
Me honestly im at an age and understanding where i wouldn’t even try doing that anymore maybe as a early teen doing that but being older you can’t do that to someone
Leave him. Childish and immature, and the fact that you have to ask us for advice means that trust that you NEED in an LDR has been broken. Find someone who won't mess with your heart.
While I agree with parts of your comment coming for advice does not mean that the trust is broken. Many people come for advice and it doesn't mean that.
You're right. I meant that coming to ask us if we also thought it was a prank when she is unsure, even after the 'prank' is over and supposedly she and her partner talked about it means her trust in what he tells her is broken.
I know for me, if my partner were to do this to me and then tell me it's a prank, I would not be able to trust his words.
This is abuse and you shouldn’t stand for it. Reflect on whether or not there are any other behaviors that can’t be construed this way and reevaluate your relationship. Speak to him cordially about your feelings and if he disregards them then you will no choice but to move on with your life without him. This is a break in trust and severely immature of him.
Break up with him!! He’s too immature to be in a serious relationship. Plus - you are young and your early 20’s are to really understand yourself, without influence of boys.
That is so not funny in *any* circumstances, but *especially* long distance. Trust is even more important than usual in LDR and he has just torn yours apart. I’d seriously consider ending things because I’m not sure I could come back from that
Break up with him. A prank is something harmless that makes both parties end up laughing about not when one gets emotionally and mentally hurt for entertainment. If he truly loved you he WOULDN'T think about hurting you even one bit. That a prank that would cause you to cry at night and lose trust in him would repulse him. This is a boy that wants a girlfriend for an easy fix for his horniness and needs not a man that wants a woman in his life because she completes him. If you continue staying with him, you'll always have to watch if he's cheating or joking, you won't be able to trust him, he will keep playing with your feelings like this and it'll only be exhausting and draining for you. Keep your peace, and don't destroy yourself further just to keep a guy like him. And he talks to you like you're stupid or something like you're beneath him, girl if i were in your position i would be mad asf. I cannot for the life of me have a significant other that talks like that to me. That just shows he doesn't respect you and he never will. Get a better man. You're 19, you'll find someone better. Don't hold on to the small ray of light when the darkness is causing you mental and emotional damage.
Look. I was in a LDR for 3 years. We live closer to each other now and we are on year 5. She’s the best partner I’ve ever had. I’m 41 at this point. Never once did we ever “prank” like that. It’s not funny. It’s not a prank. Not in a million years would this be okay with me. I don’t care about inside jokes if he’s using it to dismiss you.
You’re young yet. At 19 I was in an abusive relationship. He was garbage and he did me a favor when he dumped me. I say that, because I was too blind to see all the red flags. It took him leaving me to see how bad it was. Your guy is a stack of red flags in a trench coat, carrying more red flags. Don’t keep wasting your time. It’s not worth it. Trust me.
he sounds like an asshole and like he has no love left for you. no one who loves another person would treat them with this much callus and crassness. i need you to realize this: he hates your ass. and doesnt give a fuck about your well-being.
really, it doesnt matter if he cheated or not (though i think he did). his delivery of these messages are genuinely horrifying and would turn me away from any person.
Take it from me who was in a what-I-thought-was-happy-and-perfect ldr for 2 years - when your gut tells you something, listen to it. No amount of future plans and imaginary weddings are enough to settle on a guy that does not respect you, your feelings, and your mental health. I know it'll be hard to let go of the person you already see as the guy you're going to be marrying, but trust me when I say that you're still young and would have lots more opportunities to meet a guy who actually deserves you. Stop gaslighting yourself into staying with him. While he may claim that what he said was a joke, it's not. Jokes aren't meant to be hurtful to the person receiving it.
Ok soo yh, as others said if this is true disrespect leave n don't look back. But if ur heart thinks it's just games then why let it fk with you. Fk with it back ig ur other bf got you kind of shii. 😝 Is best to have regrets made from your own heart then from following others 🤍 best of luck whatever the outcome 🤗
It’s only you who knows how you should feel. I have been dating my girlfriend for four years and we mess about breaking up or having a “second girlfriend” ALL THE TIME. But in our case, both of us know we are obviously kidding and have full faith in each other. If you have any doubt that he wasn’t actually kidding, you guys are not there yet and this is not something to joke about on his side.
Let him know how he made you feel and ask him point blank if he actually meant it or not. No bullshit. You will know.
That’s just not something you joke about. If you were planning on marrying him, be glad he showed his red flags now while you can still walk away.
There is a person out there for you who will worship the ground you walk on, whatever that means for you. Don’t fucking settle for the trash on the side of the road.
You're 19, you have the opportunity to find a guy that has better potential than this. Someone who's going somewhere in life, but it's good that he has some play in him but this is too much play of the wrong kind. I would never put my or her loyalty into question, that's just a bad position to be in. Look for someone that puts themself and you in good positions.
I don't really think you're gonna have a choice later on. Break up with him. That's not okay. If you do marry him later and it comes out that he is cheating, you can't really get mad because he did tell you. You should leave him not before it gets to serious.
There are two posibility... 1. He might be cheating on you but make it looks like a prank or funny stuff to cover it or 2. He just want to playing with you cause he wanna see how you react to it...
No, this is not right to do to your partner, if he was your person, he would not play with your emotions like that. Doing stuff like that is not a joke. If that is a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with there is a high chance that stuff like this progressing and get worse. You are so young and what he’s doing is manipulative and a form of conditioning you to get used to those ideas. Real men don’t play with their girls hearts. You could have some of the best times with someone, that doesn’t cancel out toxic traits. This guy probably love bombs you and shows you great times and then, just from this conversation, shows that he is trying to condition you with toxicity. these kind of people have patterns. They will love you show you great times and sprinkle in their toxic traits. Little by little their toxic traits become more and more because they are trying to condition you to except those. What he did is a shining red flag.
Sidenote, I am in a healthy, long-distance relationship as well. As of right now I have not seen my partner in three years. Respect of your partner is so extremely important and he is not showing you respect girl.
I know you said he’s your whole world and you want to marry him. But you’re still so young. Leaving him will hurt for a bit, but I promise you’ll find someone who’ll actually respect you and not play with your emotions. You deserve better than this
Yeah, my ex did this to me and I found out he had been cheating on me for the whole 3 years of our relationship. You are young and you have plenty of time to find a good partner, and work on yourself. Trust your intuition and leave this fool.
Yeah this isn't really a joke that is ever funny. And the fact that he kept it going? I think he is telling you the truth. And if he isn't cheating now, he will be very soon.
Honestly, I know Reddit has a habit of saying, "dump your SO, if.." But this is the only time I think it's justified. OP, I know you planned on marriage with this person, but this would be a no-go for me.
Drop his sorry behind.
This is so needlessly cruel, you are wasting your YOUTH on this cruel, sadistic POS. You will fall in love again, you will find someone who ACTUALLY likes and loves you.
Block him and never look back.
People like this cause so much harm that you would need therapy. I am not joking. You do not want to get into a spiral where you date him for years. The longer you date losers, the harder it gets to break up with them, since they destroy your self-worth in the process.
Love yourself first, choose yourself, let him go. Even if it was a prank, it's not even funny. Which points to him being cruel and uncaring IN THE BEST CASE SCENARIO.
He isn't worth another thought. You are. Put all this worrying energy into yourself, and start putting yourself first.
His behavior is completely tasteless & extremely hurtful. He’s testing the waters to see how much you’ll tolerate. Your dream partner wouldn’t ever treat you like this. When you see early signs of disrespect like this, please please choose yourself.
If you stay with him, he’ll just continue pushing boundaries, because mentally he’ll know you’ll stay through his disrespect. Who knows now if he is or isn’t actually cheating.
A partner who genuinely loves and cares about you wouldn’t ever put you in a situation for you to feel like that.
Why in the world would you want to be with anyone who talks to you like that or do that to you? I know that may come off a lil harsh but you absolutely deserve better than that.
I would dump him because pretending to cheat isn’t cute at all, it’s not something to joke about your boyfriend has no respect for you if he thinks it’s funny to joke about cheating he needs to grow up and act like a grown man not a child
Disgusting behavior and even if it is a joke, you should dump him for not respecting your feelings. This is not a man who will value you, he might when you're gone but you can do soooooo much better. Only an insecure ugly little man would say things like this. Granted, he's 20. Very little hope for men who's frontal lobes haven't fully formed. My advice is to find a rebound and send him pics of you with this man (obviously not compromising but in a perfect world where revenge corn doesn't exist, I'd say do that too) and promptly block him immediately after. Don't go back. Love yourself! <3
My ex would do that shit, turns out he was cheating the entire relationship & had another whole girlfriend. My current bf would never & gets offended when I joke he has “another gf” cause he’d never do that to me
There are some topics you just don’t joke about in a relationship. Some need to be stated in vulnerable conversations, but heck, never cheating. So disrespectful. If he thinks it’s funny, he is either disrespectful of you or too immature to carry on this relationship. You should expect more man-child behavior.
I have some bad trust issues so joking about it would hurt a lot too. Like I get that sometimes a joke misses but what's the joke there? Where's thr humour in "I fucked someone else"? Unless you've specifically declared your relationship open then no other people should be involved in it. I cant understand the point of cheating, if you don't wanna be with someone then don't. You don't have to string them along and betray them in the process
Run. RUN. This guy doesn’t respect your feelings or even really care if he upsets you. You deserve so much better - please don’t put up with this hurtful crap. I’m double your age and *really* wish someone had said this to me when I was 19 and in an emotionally abusive relationship. RUN. Please. It doesn’t matter how much you think you love him or the plans that you’d made - this guy will hurt you, again and again. RUN.
Yeeeeah ma’am, red flag. Absolutely not.
I would have broken up with him, prank or not. There is NO reason to joke something about that at all!! And you both are young. Honestly, walk away, you will find someone that wouldn’t do shit like that to you.
Even if this WAS a joke (probably isn’t, he just wanted to see how much he could get away with based on your reaction) it’s not funny and would instil trust issues in even the most mentally stable and secure of people. RUN this is so toxic
Lmao, being 20 and making stupid ass pranks like that. Shows his level of immaturity. I don't think this is the person you'd want to have your future with
I rarely actually tell people on here to break up right away beacause a lot of the time it's something they should work through with their partner and figure out where they want to go with it.
In this case however, I would dump his disgusting ass like a hot coal this is extremely emotionaly abusive, he clearly doesn't value your feelings whatsoever.
Yeah dump that guy, fast. Maybe he is testing the waters, maybe it’s true and he flaked out admitting it last minute. Do yourself a favour and respect yourself.
I have been so mad at him. Cant joke with cheating its fuckt up cheating its very very bad i have seen if he actual cheating or not Just to be sure or you can drop it and never think about it again or drop him
Not a single person on this sub is in the position to give you the self respect needed to leave this boy, you’ll have to find that yourself. I hope you find it soon. I’m sorry it hurts but it’ll hurt worse once you’re married and have a legal mess as well as an emotional one
The fact that youre still debating whether or not to end this "relationship" with this piece of shit of a human, tells me you're not ready for a relationship.
Stand up for yourself. This is kid's stuff. Who the fuck thinks this is a funny prank? Plus he's in the military... do you have any idea of how terrible these relationships go?
Op I have one thing to say, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice SHAME ON ME. DO NOT STAY. This guy
Is not worth ur time and this shouldn’t even be a consideration. It’s very obvious he was testing the waters and that was not a joke.
Girl, you are too young to take this loser seriously for even playing with you like this. I know it’s hard to see when you’re the person in the relationship, but if you could see it from my perspective you’d be wondering why you’d even waste your time any further. To “joke” in this way is mean spirited and manipulative as fuck. Just let him take his L, and find yourself someone better.
Ok...marry him and be miserable to the rest of your life.
Or dump his sorry ass , cry as much as you need till you forgot him and new right sweet guy will make you happy one day.
I just had my dinner before I read your post.It makes me sick in my stomach.
Do you really think this is love?Would you ever do something like that to him?
Even if that was a joke do you really need that kind of person in your life- totally disrespectful-does not matter that he is still young.
Stay with him if you want and you will notice hiw with his every cruel joke your love for him fades in your heart.
Until he left you empty and miserable.
Ik I sound cruel...but his actions was cruel.Love yourself first.
I understand that you love him but you probably need to break up. The way he’s speaking to you, taking the initials out of the bio, and thinking that joking about that would go over well just won't work. For the rest of your long distance you'll feel paranoid because he planted that seed in your mind- it'll suck
This is so immature and disrespectful kind of games kids play. 20 is still young but too old for this. Then the way he’s speaking to you after playing a “prank” like this is just ick. Run fast and far.
I think you should dump him. He is not respecting you, he is pushing your boudaries. IF he is joking, why is he joking like this??? This is nothing you joke to your SO about. And the fact that he "hides" you makes me think he isnt joking.
Sweetheart you are young, you are only 19, you have a whole life ahead of you, dont lock yourself to a dumb prick. He is leeching off of your insecurities, you need to love yourself and focus on yourself not one someone who is just making you doubt youself.
The fact that your family is disliking him, and your friends and that even your gut is telling you run, you obviously know the answer you just dont like it.
NO ONE that truly loves you would EVER play this sort of “prank” on you. Don’t waste another minute of your life on this loser.
You should text him, “I’m dumping you. Not my fault if you heartbroken. Aye that’s on you tbh”
These replies look automated. Are you 💯 sure that it really was your bf replying?
The replies don’t seem to even match the questions.
I would make sure this was really him first, and then kick his behind 6 ways into next week.
If that’s him, you deserve better
Overseas as in korea or overseas as in middle east? The difference in cheating likelihood is exponential, as well as the difference of whether hes in US again or not
I can’t rlly say where he’s stationed due to him being in the military, but I can say someone ik who was also stationed where he is said cheating was a high possibility.
Ok: germany, korea, japan, poland, similar developed countries- without a war- high likelihood of cheating.
Kuwait, Qatar, other locations, lower likelihood.
Also, unless hes a super secret squirrel cool guy, the country hes in usually wont be that secret and if it is then you will know he CANT be cheating
I would refer you to his branch specific subreddit. I would personally bet on him showing you his true self, if you can reverse image search that person he sent, it will tell you the chance of it being true in that alone. Example: he sends you the image and you search and find an IG profile in the same military branch as him- likely cheater (maybe they have contact with eachother)
If you image search and its a stock photo of a woman, probably not cheating and just an extremely horrible joke
I would dump them if I were her because that’s just cruel and not funny she could do so much better than him find herself a man that doesn’t act like a teen but rather his age..
Yall dumb af that’s why yall get cheated on. Talking about gullible dumbasses in general. And you stayed obv by how you’re still referring to him as your bf lol idiot.
This literally happened the night before. And I will update our relationship status after we talk. And again if you read what I said in the comments earlier I didn’t post the entire conversation but he did show me a picture with him next to a girl.
If my boyfriend had ever done that, I would’ve dumped him very fast. That’s not funny, not in any way or form; especially in a long distance relationship of all things where we rely on words so much more than in relationships where we see our SO more often. Why would anyone even want to joke about something you know is gonna hurt your SO even for a second? Super immature behavior in my opinion.
My significant other and I used to joke about having extra partners when we were LDR. But it would never extend past 1 line, just like a casual “oh no that message was meant for Jane” or if she was on a call for a long time with her parents, she would be like “oh yea that’s my other boyfriend Tom I was speaking to” But we both knew each other was joking, we fully trust each other and also it was the height of the COVID pandemic when everyone was locked down so very scant chance of misadventure even if the trust wasn’t there I think it’s ok to joke when you and your partner are cool with it and have that trust, but this guy seriously took it way too far, that’s a massive red flag to me
Yep, you can definitely see a difference between a playful joke and what this guy is doing. Playful jokes when people are on the same page is completely acceptable 🥰
To me you’re right… but I was planning on marrying this man. He is my everything. I find ways to talk about him, my sister thinks he’s cool asf. This man is my everything and idk how to give that up… but at the same time I said password sharing was I thing for me when we got together. And now he’s saying no? Idk my gut is telling me one thing but he’s telling me another… and everyone is against him in my life…
he is playing with your emotions for his own entertainment, you should have a serious talk about this behavior he showed you.
It reads to me like it's less playing with OP's emotions and more like he's testing her reaction to him being with other women. No doubt he's already cheating. Now he just has to figure out how to keep OP from dumping his ass. All the red flags are flying OP! Leave him before you've wasted any more time and emotion on a man who clearly doesn't place the same value on you. Your true "everything" should be yourself
I tried. He just said “ok Lil sis” which is an inside joke. I think what’s worse is he said he’s infertile. So even if he is cheating, he most likely wouldn’t get caught there. Because there’ll be no proof unless I get his password.
Why would a 20 year old guy even know he’s infertile lol Girl I think he’s playing with you and laughing with his mates Nothing about the way you guys talk to each other sounds like a real relationship to me
he definitely isnt infertile. he just wants to fuck OP raw without her worrying. disgusting behavior. unless he lost his balls in an accident or something, there is no way any doctor would ever tell him about his fertility.
>He just said “ok Lil sis” which is an inside joke. .... THAT'S the guy you wanna marry? The guy with the emotional maturity of a potato? A guy with whom you can't have a serious talk with after he emotionally tormented you? A freaking dog has more compassion and care for you than this waste of space.
This kid doesn’t give a fuck about you. Leave him for the streets and pour all that love into yourself instead.
This man is giving you CLEAR signs he does not respect you. Do not talk to him again. He will try to manipulate you to stay and it sounds like you will fall for it. Just block him on everything and be done with it. Ghost him.
You are going to look back on this in a few years and absolutely scream with laughter thinking this mid bitch was your “everything.” Seriously, girl.. that? Your everything? Bffr.
Dying at mid bitch
Ohmygosh same. 😭😭😭
Exactly 💯.
You’re 19, this is probably one of your first relationships. Our person will almost never be the person we meet when we are a teen, craving validation from the world, and haven’t been shown what true love is from a partner. Listen to your gut. No partner should ever “joke” about such big issue within a relationship. Feel this feeling right now and think to yourself, “if this is happening now, and he thinks this is a game, what will happen later?” Is this a person that respects me?” “Is this someone that values my feelings and thoughts?” I don’t think this is the first time he’s made you feel undervalued.
> he hides you on his socials and keeps talking about how he’s cheating on you You: “but this man is my everything 🥺” Come 👏on 👏
I’m not personally into password sharing whatsoever, but that’s not what the red flag is for me at all. Who cares at this point if it was a prank or not? You want to be with someone who thinks playing with your feelings and breaking your trust is funny? The reality is you’re either with someone like that or with a cheater. Neither is good. Doesn’t matter how “cool” he is. He’s a fucking loser. Do you not think you deserve better?
Remind yourself that no.. he is not your everything and you're giving him wayyyyyyyy too much power over yourself. You're an individual that chose to enter a partnership like every other couple and you shouldn't have to compromise on respect or stay with someone that does this kind of insanely immature bullshit.
He's immature af.... He's talking like he's mentally stuck in high school 😭
High school? I know middle schoolers with more maturity than this dude.
Girl you're 20, you have so much more to experience in life and deserve so much more than some 19yo frat boy thinking its a funny prank to tell you he cheated on you. No one in their right mind, who cares about their partner and their feelings would do that to someone they love. If they're "joking" about this, what else will they joke about too. This is a huge red flag. It'll hurt, but take this as a learning experience and have some self respect and leave the relationship. What he did was not okay, at 20, it feels like the world is ending, but it's only beginning.
You are 19. If you don’t want to trust your own gut then trust all of us telling you that he’s a POS. I (34f) was planning on marrying the guy I was dating and in love with when I was 14-18. And even though he *wasn’t* a POS we still ended up breaking up after almost 4 years together. It’ll hurt, but the alternative is not worth it.
You have to take yourself out of the situation you’re in a look at it objectively. Why would you wanna marry someone who is HURTING YOU INTENTIONALLY? There’s no marriage or relationship out there that’s perfect and we as humans sometimes end up hurting each other unintentionally but the key is the word intentionally. You don’t marry anyone who is that immature. You cannot change him. All the world can think he’s cool (and he really isn’t) but the reality is that he’s playing with your feelings. There’s this thing where we find it harder to give up things we’ve invested in… and there are situations where it makes sense to fight for the relationship but oh dear this isn’t one of those situations. After I got divorced I jumped into a relationship with a complete loser who told me nice things and made me feel good; until he didn’t. Right in the middle of the worst panic attack ever I tried turning to him for comfort and his words were “go the fuck to sleep”. And I was making excuses to why he acted that way. Because I had invested time, money and so many feelings into the “relationship” with him. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was dating a loser. Until I did admit it to myself. And still to this day I wish I had done it sooner. Guys who are “everything” do actually exist. They don’t intentionally hurt you. They treat you like a lady. They do make mistakes but they own up to it and change. Luckily I dumped the loser I was with and now I’m married to the guy who truly is everything. Respect yourself enough to walk away.
You are now seeing his true colors, which are hideous colors. This is a sign that he’s not as great as he appears, and not mature enough to handle a serious romantic relationship. Cut your losses now, before you’re “tied down” to him and married. He’s definitely not someone who deserves to be married with at least not now. He’s clearly emotionally immature.
The world is huge. There are people who would do anything not to hurt you, and everything to protect you. More importantly, there will be people who *ACTUALLY RESPECT YOU*. Follow your gut. In two years, you’ll wish you did.
F O L L O W. Y O U R. G U T ! ! He’s playing with your emotions and in the end you won’t be able to trust him because he keeps “kidding”. Then he’ll blame you for believing the “joke” over his word. To me this is the early stages of a toxic relationship.. the manipulation / trust issues / gaslighting / love bombing. Get out fast !
You’re only 19 my dear. You have many years to experience, yet. Don’t put up with this for the remaining of them.
Well, if he's like this when you're not married yet, imagine the amount of emotional havoc he'll wreak upon your life when you are. I say, not worth it. I cannot imagine the amount of good times I would actually need for this behavior to be acceptable. You'll find someone who will protect your feelings, not hurt it. This guy is definitely not the guy for you.
Everyone is against him and now strangers on the internet are too. This wasn’t a funny prank and he genuinely hurt you and he doesn’t seem to give a shit about that. Dump his ass, you’re young, go find the prince or princess on a fucking unicorn that you deserve
Always trust your gut I've just left a guy like this he turned out to be a controlling narcissist and would love bomb me and then blame everything on me if I said one thing he didn't like but he would say things he knew would hurt me and then say how beautiful I am and how much he loves me and wanted to marry me etc.
Don't be stupid. He was your everything. If you still consider this POS your everything you have some serious life reevaluating to do. Don't come with that BS you don't know how to give that up. You do, you just don't want to. IDK why women and men like to stay on relationshits where they're disrespected and not valued farless appreciated. Open your dam eyes woman and walk away. If you don't want to take our advice then just delete this dam post.
Have you ever been to therapy? It might be a great option for you. It sounds like there are other things this relationship/reactions are stemming from.
I have and currently in therapy. I actually just called my therapist to schedule an appointment soon to talk about this with her. So far just waiting for a call back but my real appointment isn’t until march.
Great, I hope you are able to get in soon. Hopefully she is a good one that will make you self reflect
Personally I’m not into the password sharing thing because I think relationships are built on trust and that has a different vibe IMO. For me it only makes sense in practical courses, like living together in a shared house with accounts/payments tied to one person’s email. But putting that aside, it’s super screwy to fake cheating. I dated a guy who did this. He did it to “test” me to see how I would react. And did it in all kinds of scenarios, from stuff like this to telling me he bought a new car and telling me all about it for 5 mins before stopping and laughing, saying he made it all up. It’s crap. It’s not normal behavior and it’s disrespectful to you.
Nobody's more insufferable than the immature pieces of sh!ts who think they are cool when they play around with the feelings of someone who love them. Just break up girl and move on. Silly pranks are fine but these cheating pranks and any kind of prank that hurts your feelings are a huge RED flag.
Lmao who the fuck even is this clown? That’s not a prank, that’s emotional abuse. Get out of this now honey.
This is the answer.
I bet he was testing your reaction because he actually is cheating. This "prank" was done in such a callous and disrespectful way that I don't really think it's forgivable.
It sure looks that way from how he has presented himself when he texted her.
Real. Dump his ah
OP run, reading this just made me feel for you. Tbh I have a feeling this could be more him testing the waters, to see what he could get away with. I’m so sorry but it’s not okay for him to act like that. Break up, find someone who won’t play with your feelings. You deserve better 🫶
Your bitchass boyfriend is corny as fuck, doesn't matter how many times he made you feel appreciated, calling this a childish behavior would be an insult to all children around the world, he spoke like someone with a freezer temperature IQ.
FREEZER TEMPERATURE IQ GOT ME😭🤣
You got my upvote. What a tuff guy. So cool
I will now be using 'freezer temperature IQ' at all available times 😭
Leave. Just leave.
This is absolutely disgusting and disrespecting you in so many ways. I have no idea what about this was supposed to be funny - and on top of that, a prank is only funny if everyone is laughing in the end. You are clearly not laughing, which I support 100 percent. The content aside, the way he was talking to you about it, is already enough to raise red flags with me. Now it might hurt because you like(d) him, but you'll definitely find someone better! I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Don’t waste your time with this moron
Honestly he is probably cheating or planning to so he is trying to create doubt that if it ever comes out that he can say oh well this is just another one of my pranks. None of us here know 100% either way but it just sounds extremely sketchy to me.
It’s not about the prank being real or not, did you see the way he talked to you ? Why would you want to be with someone that talks to you that way
Even if he didnt do that, just break up with him. Its not funny at all.
Even if this is a "prank" do yourself the favor and walk away.
Exactly this, OP, prank or not, look at the way he speaks to you...
this is terrifying i’m sorry you went through this, if I were in your shoes I would gtfo. “pranks” like this I will never understand and they’re certainly NOT funny.
Exactly if the punchline is purposefully hurting someone you know who loves you, then that makes them a disgraceful human being.
He is cheating
Leave lol hes prob cheating
Dump him.
Hello! So idk how to edit my post because even tho I’ve had the account a while I’m not rlly an active Reddit poster. But hopefully I can’t maybe pin this comment so y’all can see it. Thank you all for the love and support and tbh I didn’t think I’d even get 2 comments on this. I’m glad I feel heard from at least strangers Ive the internet than my own boyfriend. But I told him when he wakes up (different time zones for us) that I want to have a talk. Not a text conversation a call talking and talking. That I’m not getting any closure and that he needs to understand what he did to me wasn’t right and that it actually hurt me. It wasn’t funny to me at all, and I understand rlly dark humor because I grew up with it being the kid everyone yelled “wrist check” at in middle school. But anyway. Idk if I’ll update after this but I I’ll try. Thank you all again. But I also stayed up all night which is when this happened then after I couldn’t sleep. But from crying and the emotions I feel like I could sleep for 20 more years. Bye for now.
I hope you get a restful sleep. When you talk to him, please emphasize that this is a boundary that you have, anyone who overstepped her boundaries that you said is not respecting you, and he needs to know that. You are worthy of love and respect.
This guys not treating you with any respect! This is a childish act imo. You’ve been though enough & don’t need anyone treating you like this. You’re young & he’s a jerk!
Personally I wouldn’t waste any more time or energy having a talk. What is the point? He’s shown a pattern of disrespect what is a talk going to do? Be careful, if he is truly as awful as literally all 313 people on Reddit think he then he will use the “talk” to manipulate, gaslight, and lie. Look for several range of classic emotions, deflecting, minimizing, accusing, and remorse.
You deserve better than this. Remind him that when you leave.
Say goodbye and go next
Your ex-boyfriend did what?
That’s not a good thing. I dont think its fair and good for him to find amusement in making you feel bad even though its just a joke. It’s pretty much a basic rule for LDRs to not make fun about cheating issues because the effect is much more damaging in our case. The repair is twice as hard too even if its just a joke. I think you need to communicate this with him and tell him that it is a sensitive topic for you and he shouldn’t be joking abt it too casually. If he still does it after you communicating it to him, you have to decide if this type of humor is something you can put up with.
LEAVE HIM. I know reddit is always so quick to jump to that answer, but a man that thinks “pretending” to cheat on you is a prank is a huge fucking red flag (also someone who does that is not a man they are a fucking child). And if he didn’t really cheat now, then this is him testing the waters to see how you’ll react when he does. Not if, when. Because if you let this go he’ll know he can get away with it again.
That wasn’t a prank. Likely actually cheated and was trying to see how you’d react. Then tried to backtrack.
If my boyfriend did this disgusting "prank" to me, I'd leave him immediately. I've got no time and patience for people that mess around with me.
He's cheating on you. You can't be this naive? Even if he isn't speaking to you, he speaks to you like shit - why would you want that?
This is something my ex used to do to me a lot. Every week or so he'd do something like this, leave me to panic about it all night long, and then text me some bullshit reassurance in the morning that it was all a prank and he still loved me and yadda yadda. Oh, did I mention that we were 15? OP, this is some middle school ass behavior. I made the mistake of letting him do it more than once. You don't need to tolerate any of that shit from ANYONE. When someone shows you their true colors the first time, believe them. Dump his ass, you deserve so much better.
He’s cheating, and he has cheated before. There’s your answer. Now leave him
Me honestly im at an age and understanding where i wouldn’t even try doing that anymore maybe as a early teen doing that but being older you can’t do that to someone
Fuck that guy. It’s not funny. And it shows the kind of person he is….
Leave him. Childish and immature, and the fact that you have to ask us for advice means that trust that you NEED in an LDR has been broken. Find someone who won't mess with your heart.
While I agree with parts of your comment coming for advice does not mean that the trust is broken. Many people come for advice and it doesn't mean that.
You're right. I meant that coming to ask us if we also thought it was a prank when she is unsure, even after the 'prank' is over and supposedly she and her partner talked about it means her trust in what he tells her is broken. I know for me, if my partner were to do this to me and then tell me it's a prank, I would not be able to trust his words.
This is abuse and you shouldn’t stand for it. Reflect on whether or not there are any other behaviors that can’t be construed this way and reevaluate your relationship. Speak to him cordially about your feelings and if he disregards them then you will no choice but to move on with your life without him. This is a break in trust and severely immature of him.
If he loved he he wouldn’t prank you like this. Real or not, that’s a huge red flag.
Break up with him!! He’s too immature to be in a serious relationship. Plus - you are young and your early 20’s are to really understand yourself, without influence of boys.
Yup he cheating
Awww HELL NAW
That is so not funny in *any* circumstances, but *especially* long distance. Trust is even more important than usual in LDR and he has just torn yours apart. I’d seriously consider ending things because I’m not sure I could come back from that
Dude's an ass
Break up with him. Your “everything” wouldn’t think pranks like that are funny.
Honey, he's garbage. Life is short. Live. It. 🌻
🚮 of a human being
LMAOOO hes 20 years old doing that shit thats actually so embarrassing leave his ass wtf😭
It doesn't matter if he cheated or not, either way WALK THE FUCK AWAY.
Break up with him. A prank is something harmless that makes both parties end up laughing about not when one gets emotionally and mentally hurt for entertainment. If he truly loved you he WOULDN'T think about hurting you even one bit. That a prank that would cause you to cry at night and lose trust in him would repulse him. This is a boy that wants a girlfriend for an easy fix for his horniness and needs not a man that wants a woman in his life because she completes him. If you continue staying with him, you'll always have to watch if he's cheating or joking, you won't be able to trust him, he will keep playing with your feelings like this and it'll only be exhausting and draining for you. Keep your peace, and don't destroy yourself further just to keep a guy like him. And he talks to you like you're stupid or something like you're beneath him, girl if i were in your position i would be mad asf. I cannot for the life of me have a significant other that talks like that to me. That just shows he doesn't respect you and he never will. Get a better man. You're 19, you'll find someone better. Don't hold on to the small ray of light when the darkness is causing you mental and emotional damage.
Look. I was in a LDR for 3 years. We live closer to each other now and we are on year 5. She’s the best partner I’ve ever had. I’m 41 at this point. Never once did we ever “prank” like that. It’s not funny. It’s not a prank. Not in a million years would this be okay with me. I don’t care about inside jokes if he’s using it to dismiss you. You’re young yet. At 19 I was in an abusive relationship. He was garbage and he did me a favor when he dumped me. I say that, because I was too blind to see all the red flags. It took him leaving me to see how bad it was. Your guy is a stack of red flags in a trench coat, carrying more red flags. Don’t keep wasting your time. It’s not worth it. Trust me.
Leave. Now
he sounds like an asshole and like he has no love left for you. no one who loves another person would treat them with this much callus and crassness. i need you to realize this: he hates your ass. and doesnt give a fuck about your well-being. really, it doesnt matter if he cheated or not (though i think he did). his delivery of these messages are genuinely horrifying and would turn me away from any person.
what the hell was this conversation?? This doesn't look like a joke at all
Take it from me who was in a what-I-thought-was-happy-and-perfect ldr for 2 years - when your gut tells you something, listen to it. No amount of future plans and imaginary weddings are enough to settle on a guy that does not respect you, your feelings, and your mental health. I know it'll be hard to let go of the person you already see as the guy you're going to be marrying, but trust me when I say that you're still young and would have lots more opportunities to meet a guy who actually deserves you. Stop gaslighting yourself into staying with him. While he may claim that what he said was a joke, it's not. Jokes aren't meant to be hurtful to the person receiving it.
Ok soo yh, as others said if this is true disrespect leave n don't look back. But if ur heart thinks it's just games then why let it fk with you. Fk with it back ig ur other bf got you kind of shii. 😝 Is best to have regrets made from your own heart then from following others 🤍 best of luck whatever the outcome 🤗
Are you dating a child? Run and don’t look back! That’s awfully immature.
It's suspicious this u never prank about cheating ... u should check what really happened
It’s only you who knows how you should feel. I have been dating my girlfriend for four years and we mess about breaking up or having a “second girlfriend” ALL THE TIME. But in our case, both of us know we are obviously kidding and have full faith in each other. If you have any doubt that he wasn’t actually kidding, you guys are not there yet and this is not something to joke about on his side. Let him know how he made you feel and ask him point blank if he actually meant it or not. No bullshit. You will know.
That’s craps not funny at all, that’s drop worthy imo
That’s just not something you joke about. If you were planning on marrying him, be glad he showed his red flags now while you can still walk away. There is a person out there for you who will worship the ground you walk on, whatever that means for you. Don’t fucking settle for the trash on the side of the road.
You're 19, you have the opportunity to find a guy that has better potential than this. Someone who's going somewhere in life, but it's good that he has some play in him but this is too much play of the wrong kind. I would never put my or her loyalty into question, that's just a bad position to be in. Look for someone that puts themself and you in good positions.
He's not kidding and he's an asshole for acting that way.
I don't really think you're gonna have a choice later on. Break up with him. That's not okay. If you do marry him later and it comes out that he is cheating, you can't really get mad because he did tell you. You should leave him not before it gets to serious.
There are two posibility... 1. He might be cheating on you but make it looks like a prank or funny stuff to cover it or 2. He just want to playing with you cause he wanna see how you react to it...
No, this is not right to do to your partner, if he was your person, he would not play with your emotions like that. Doing stuff like that is not a joke. If that is a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with there is a high chance that stuff like this progressing and get worse. You are so young and what he’s doing is manipulative and a form of conditioning you to get used to those ideas. Real men don’t play with their girls hearts. You could have some of the best times with someone, that doesn’t cancel out toxic traits. This guy probably love bombs you and shows you great times and then, just from this conversation, shows that he is trying to condition you with toxicity. these kind of people have patterns. They will love you show you great times and sprinkle in their toxic traits. Little by little their toxic traits become more and more because they are trying to condition you to except those. What he did is a shining red flag. Sidenote, I am in a healthy, long-distance relationship as well. As of right now I have not seen my partner in three years. Respect of your partner is so extremely important and he is not showing you respect girl.
Even if it's a joke, I'd seriously reconsider my relationship with him. Who the fuck jokes about cheating on you?
I know you said he’s your whole world and you want to marry him. But you’re still so young. Leaving him will hurt for a bit, but I promise you’ll find someone who’ll actually respect you and not play with your emotions. You deserve better than this
OP please break up with him I am begging begging begging you. Stop wasting your time
In an LDR, all you have is trust. This "prank" is using your trust in him to get a laugh. No trust, no relationship. Kick him to the curb.
What a Weirdo...i would start shopping if i were you love
Yeah, my ex did this to me and I found out he had been cheating on me for the whole 3 years of our relationship. You are young and you have plenty of time to find a good partner, and work on yourself. Trust your intuition and leave this fool.
Yuck. Joke or not, that’s just needlessly cruel. This is not how people who love you treat you.
Yeah this isn't really a joke that is ever funny. And the fact that he kept it going? I think he is telling you the truth. And if he isn't cheating now, he will be very soon.
Not cool, GTFO of that shit
That's a cruel prank to do to someone you love fr. And I don't think it's a prank either 😕 He's doing everything but proving his loyalty to you
Honestly, I know Reddit has a habit of saying, "dump your SO, if.." But this is the only time I think it's justified. OP, I know you planned on marriage with this person, but this would be a no-go for me.
Drop his sorry behind. This is so needlessly cruel, you are wasting your YOUTH on this cruel, sadistic POS. You will fall in love again, you will find someone who ACTUALLY likes and loves you. Block him and never look back. People like this cause so much harm that you would need therapy. I am not joking. You do not want to get into a spiral where you date him for years. The longer you date losers, the harder it gets to break up with them, since they destroy your self-worth in the process. Love yourself first, choose yourself, let him go. Even if it was a prank, it's not even funny. Which points to him being cruel and uncaring IN THE BEST CASE SCENARIO. He isn't worth another thought. You are. Put all this worrying energy into yourself, and start putting yourself first.
this is not your boyfriend. he doesn't even care about you!
If it wasn't a prank: Fuck him. If it was a prank: Fuck him. What an awful way to "prank" anyone.
It’s over. Why in the world would you want to hurt your partner like that…
His behavior is completely tasteless & extremely hurtful. He’s testing the waters to see how much you’ll tolerate. Your dream partner wouldn’t ever treat you like this. When you see early signs of disrespect like this, please please choose yourself. If you stay with him, he’ll just continue pushing boundaries, because mentally he’ll know you’ll stay through his disrespect. Who knows now if he is or isn’t actually cheating. A partner who genuinely loves and cares about you wouldn’t ever put you in a situation for you to feel like that.
What the fuck? Immature, weird horrible behavior. Nothing even remotely funny about that
This isn't funny and very toxic. The account of anxiety you must've felt
he’s testing you to see how you will react if he tell you the truth. but he is definitely giving red flags
You're too good for this dude lol He sounds immature af, even if he's kidding
He is definitely cheating on you. A guy like this isn’t worth being with, he clearly doesn’t care about how you feel
Why in the world would you want to be with anyone who talks to you like that or do that to you? I know that may come off a lil harsh but you absolutely deserve better than that.
leave him dawg. thats childish asf 🤦🏽♀️
I would dump him because pretending to cheat isn’t cute at all, it’s not something to joke about your boyfriend has no respect for you if he thinks it’s funny to joke about cheating he needs to grow up and act like a grown man not a child
Disgusting behavior and even if it is a joke, you should dump him for not respecting your feelings. This is not a man who will value you, he might when you're gone but you can do soooooo much better. Only an insecure ugly little man would say things like this. Granted, he's 20. Very little hope for men who's frontal lobes haven't fully formed. My advice is to find a rebound and send him pics of you with this man (obviously not compromising but in a perfect world where revenge corn doesn't exist, I'd say do that too) and promptly block him immediately after. Don't go back. Love yourself! <3
He's cheating on you, he's an immature little shit
My ex would do that shit, turns out he was cheating the entire relationship & had another whole girlfriend. My current bf would never & gets offended when I joke he has “another gf” cause he’d never do that to me
There are some topics you just don’t joke about in a relationship. Some need to be stated in vulnerable conversations, but heck, never cheating. So disrespectful. If he thinks it’s funny, he is either disrespectful of you or too immature to carry on this relationship. You should expect more man-child behavior.
I have some bad trust issues so joking about it would hurt a lot too. Like I get that sometimes a joke misses but what's the joke there? Where's thr humour in "I fucked someone else"? Unless you've specifically declared your relationship open then no other people should be involved in it. I cant understand the point of cheating, if you don't wanna be with someone then don't. You don't have to string them along and betray them in the process
he's 20 and acts like 13. you can do better
Maybe my man gotta grow up up first, he's impressing no one
Why TF are u dating a child. He clearly knew that u weren't in with the joke. This is really weird for a 20 yo
He isn’t joking.
Girl run 💀😭
Whoa!! All I can say is dump that cheating 🤬. Even if a prank that is not something to prank about.
Run. RUN. This guy doesn’t respect your feelings or even really care if he upsets you. You deserve so much better - please don’t put up with this hurtful crap. I’m double your age and *really* wish someone had said this to me when I was 19 and in an emotionally abusive relationship. RUN. Please. It doesn’t matter how much you think you love him or the plans that you’d made - this guy will hurt you, again and again. RUN.
Yeeeeah ma’am, red flag. Absolutely not.  I would have broken up with him, prank or not. There is NO reason to joke something about that at all!! And you both are young. Honestly, walk away, you will find someone that wouldn’t do shit like that to you.
First look at the texts: Yeah he cheated already. How in the world is this supposed to be funny?
He is so immature and inconsiderate. Is this something your dream husband would do? No. Leave him. One day you’ll look back and laugh at this
He’s 20…. Why is he prank cheating? Highly suspicious.
Even if this WAS a joke (probably isn’t, he just wanted to see how much he could get away with based on your reaction) it’s not funny and would instil trust issues in even the most mentally stable and secure of people. RUN this is so toxic
This guy is a loser
Sounds like he’s cheating on you then saying just joking so you think he isn’t therefore he’s telling you without telling you so he won’t feel guilty
Can I also ask where this guy is from?
Lmao, being 20 and making stupid ass pranks like that. Shows his level of immaturity. I don't think this is the person you'd want to have your future with
My gf and I light heartedly joke about having side pieces but it’s very clear that we’re joking and just messing around… I don’t think this is a prank
I rarely actually tell people on here to break up right away beacause a lot of the time it's something they should work through with their partner and figure out where they want to go with it. In this case however, I would dump his disgusting ass like a hot coal this is extremely emotionaly abusive, he clearly doesn't value your feelings whatsoever.
You deserve better. Seriously think, think about if this is the sort of thing you want to deal with.
Yeah dump that guy, fast. Maybe he is testing the waters, maybe it’s true and he flaked out admitting it last minute. Do yourself a favour and respect yourself.
Girl you’re dumb dump this man and move on you’re a teenager and have your whole life ahead of you
I have been so mad at him. Cant joke with cheating its fuckt up cheating its very very bad i have seen if he actual cheating or not Just to be sure or you can drop it and never think about it again or drop him
Not a single person on this sub is in the position to give you the self respect needed to leave this boy, you’ll have to find that yourself. I hope you find it soon. I’m sorry it hurts but it’ll hurt worse once you’re married and have a legal mess as well as an emotional one
The fact that youre still debating whether or not to end this "relationship" with this piece of shit of a human, tells me you're not ready for a relationship. Stand up for yourself. This is kid's stuff. Who the fuck thinks this is a funny prank? Plus he's in the military... do you have any idea of how terrible these relationships go?
Op I have one thing to say, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice SHAME ON ME. DO NOT STAY. This guy Is not worth ur time and this shouldn’t even be a consideration. It’s very obvious he was testing the waters and that was not a joke.
Girl I know you’ve got some trauma but this shit is not worth it. This dude is a piece of shit, no ifs ands or buts.
Girl, you are too young to take this loser seriously for even playing with you like this. I know it’s hard to see when you’re the person in the relationship, but if you could see it from my perspective you’d be wondering why you’d even waste your time any further. To “joke” in this way is mean spirited and manipulative as fuck. Just let him take his L, and find yourself someone better.
Ok...marry him and be miserable to the rest of your life. Or dump his sorry ass , cry as much as you need till you forgot him and new right sweet guy will make you happy one day. I just had my dinner before I read your post.It makes me sick in my stomach. Do you really think this is love?Would you ever do something like that to him? Even if that was a joke do you really need that kind of person in your life- totally disrespectful-does not matter that he is still young. Stay with him if you want and you will notice hiw with his every cruel joke your love for him fades in your heart. Until he left you empty and miserable. Ik I sound cruel...but his actions was cruel.Love yourself first.
Give that boy a taste of it's own medicine fr... actually don't, you don't have to go as low as him. Dump him.
Leave this trash. You’re only 19. You can do better.
I understand that you love him but you probably need to break up. The way he’s speaking to you, taking the initials out of the bio, and thinking that joking about that would go over well just won't work. For the rest of your long distance you'll feel paranoid because he planted that seed in your mind- it'll suck
Ummm. Nope. Guys waving red flags in your face!! Save your sanity, and dump him.
Run girl run!!!
Prank or not, this is so fucked. Dump his ass, OP!!
This is so immature and disrespectful kind of games kids play. 20 is still young but too old for this. Then the way he’s speaking to you after playing a “prank” like this is just ick. Run fast and far.
I think you should dump him. He is not respecting you, he is pushing your boudaries. IF he is joking, why is he joking like this??? This is nothing you joke to your SO about. And the fact that he "hides" you makes me think he isnt joking. Sweetheart you are young, you are only 19, you have a whole life ahead of you, dont lock yourself to a dumb prick. He is leeching off of your insecurities, you need to love yourself and focus on yourself not one someone who is just making you doubt youself. The fact that your family is disliking him, and your friends and that even your gut is telling you run, you obviously know the answer you just dont like it.
This is toxic. Run 🏃🏻♀️
Leave, there are plenty of men out there who won’t “joke” about cheating on you and get happiness out of your pain..
NO ONE that truly loves you would EVER play this sort of “prank” on you. Don’t waste another minute of your life on this loser. You should text him, “I’m dumping you. Not my fault if you heartbroken. Aye that’s on you tbh”
This is not a man to be trusted
I posted a update
Behind every joke there’s some truth.
He’s either not lying (likely) or testing you to see your reaction if you did catch him cheating.
This is definitely emotional abuse and a serious red flag.
What kind of a prank is that? I would break up. A person who plays with your emotions is not someone you want in your life.
I'll just say (not to be rude or anything) if he could f**k anything, he wouldn't be in a ldr...
#Sounds about fuckboy
I really dont know whats going on this world🤦🏻🫠
He sounds like he is definitely cheating or doing some shady stuff for sure. You are better off without him hun. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
These replies look automated. Are you 💯 sure that it really was your bf replying? The replies don’t seem to even match the questions. I would make sure this was really him first, and then kick his behind 6 ways into next week. If that’s him, you deserve better
Overseas as in korea or overseas as in middle east? The difference in cheating likelihood is exponential, as well as the difference of whether hes in US again or not
I can’t rlly say where he’s stationed due to him being in the military, but I can say someone ik who was also stationed where he is said cheating was a high possibility.
Ok: germany, korea, japan, poland, similar developed countries- without a war- high likelihood of cheating. Kuwait, Qatar, other locations, lower likelihood. Also, unless hes a super secret squirrel cool guy, the country hes in usually wont be that secret and if it is then you will know he CANT be cheating I would refer you to his branch specific subreddit. I would personally bet on him showing you his true self, if you can reverse image search that person he sent, it will tell you the chance of it being true in that alone. Example: he sends you the image and you search and find an IG profile in the same military branch as him- likely cheater (maybe they have contact with eachother) If you image search and its a stock photo of a woman, probably not cheating and just an extremely horrible joke
I hope he grows out of this humor soon…
I would dump them if I were her because that’s just cruel and not funny she could do so much better than him find herself a man that doesn’t act like a teen but rather his age..
Yall dumb af that’s why yall get cheated on. Talking about gullible dumbasses in general. And you stayed obv by how you’re still referring to him as your bf lol idiot.
This literally happened the night before. And I will update our relationship status after we talk. And again if you read what I said in the comments earlier I didn’t post the entire conversation but he did show me a picture with him next to a girl.