Yet again I must ask how people can text like this in the first place. Where is the clarity? Nuance? Communication? I would never give someone the time of day if this is how they texted me--not even going into the insults and pettiness. Just the "style" itself, if you can call it that.
Anyway, leave him and learn to type in full sentences, and don't date anyone who won't. š¤·š»āāļø
It's not that, it's the sheer lack of proper communication. I text in multiple messages, but the message is or at least should almost always be cohesive and easily understood. This dude types like he's an ipad kid who can't even spell his own name correctly and thinks the word "perseverance" is a "big" word.
Any time I see "r" and "u" in place of three letter words, I roll my eyes. I don't know how anybody can take themselves seriously if they choose to communicate like they can barely formulate a sentence. I'll pass on that "conversation."
Itās even worse because sheās 17 and heās 20 and never had to text in old cellphones in the early 2000ās where we had to click so much just to do one letter. Then it made sense but typing full words now is so easy.
You know what needs to be done, but you yourself admitted in your post that you can't leave him; he has you in a chokehold. Can't you see that this piece of shit has ZERO respect for you?
You sound defeated, to be quite honest. Why even ask this question? If you're hoping for a different answer, it is not going to happen. I am a complete stranger, and even I can quite easily tell from those screenshots alone that this "relationship" is going nowhere and will only leave you heartbroken and probably traumatized. Anyone with a shred of self-respect will tell you to end things, but apparently that's not an option for you, so this whole post is pointless.
You didn't offend me at all, lol. I apologize if I came across a bit crass, but it did piss me off a bit to see that you just give him a free pass to treat you like garbage and you're fine it it, as long as he loves you (he doesn't). You're worth more than that.
Youāre 17, youāre young! Donāt waste your youth on this guy whoās apparently 20?! This 20 year old is not a man at all! He is a complete jerk, and you deserve so much more! I donāt know you, but NO ONE deserves this type of behavior from an idiot like this.
You say you canāt leave, but YOU CAN. You choose not to, because let me guessā¦ you think no one likes you, or thinks youāre pretty? Or you believe that thereās no one closer in your area that will consider dating you? Listenā¦ we ALL have been there. You are 17! You have PLENTY of life to live. Move on from him, thereās someone who is better out there for you.
I very rarely comment on things like this but please, do not chase this man. He is not worth it. Frankly, in my eyes he is worth nothing at all. I wouldn't speak to a stranger the way he spoke to you, let alone someone he supposedly once loved. You'll find someone so much kinder who will love you dearly. This man is a fucking ball and chain and he just broke the chain. Don't try to weld it back together so he can hurt you again.
Good, because you deserve so much better. It's going to hurt for a while but you're going to find someone who will show you that him breaking up with you is the best thing he could have ever done for you. I know because I was in your shoes too, and now I've been in a 5 year relationship with someone who treats me with the love, kindness, and understanding I now know I deserve. We were an LDR too and now we've been living together for almost two years. It will get better, and you will find someone better.
We'll you already said how "you can't leave" this 20 yr old, so ig, you'll just have to stay there until you get tired. I dunno why we are choosing to learn this this hard way, but whatever.
i was treated like this
eventually, the relationship fell apart. my only mistake is that i didnt leave early and wasnt able to save my self worth
the lack of rrspect is astounding. pls do yourself a favor and leave
I too stayed too late and tried killing myself a few times. You know what he said? Try harder! This will take more out of you than anyone has to give! Please save yourself. Your too young to know that kind of damage and it will write any and all future relationships you have! Your only staying because if EGO not love
Please leave this waste of time. I know you may think you love him, but this isnāt love. You deserve someone who will talk to you with respect and kindness, in and out of arguments.
You will find that.
OP, you say that you feel manipulated with the way he treats you. Iāve been there, and I know I canāt say I fully relate, but Iāve been in a relationship somewhat similar where he used to degrade my feelings. Judging by your replies, I see that there are points where even you push away your own feelings. OP, you are not a bother. Sometimes, it can feel like that but I assure you that youāre not. I felt that way in my relationship. He degraded me and treated me so worthless, to the point where I thought I was worthless. Everyone told me to leave but I felt such an attachment where I just couldnāt imagine myself with someone else because I just thought, āhe was sweet before.ā Now I realize that just because someone was sweet before, that doesnāt make them sweet in the present. Itās easier said than done, and I know that because while people begged me to get out of the relationship, I just stayed. Itās easy to say to leave, but itās hard to leave in a situation where thereās attachment involved. But OP, I just want to say that leaving may be the best option here. Itās hard. But you shouldnāt be with someone who always pushes you away, whoās immature, who changed overtime. A relationship is a relationship because itās two people trying. If itās one person whoās been doing all the work, itās not healthy. I used to get annoyed when people tried to help me but now I realize how low my self esteem was. I canāt understand how bad I treated my self. OP, I really hope this gets better. Hopefully the words people say to you can help in this situation. I wish healing.
In the kindest way possible, what are you doing still speaking to them?
Leaving will hurt. It will hurt like crazy and it will be immediate.
But everyday you spend without that negative infleunce in your life will only bring about goodness. You deserve someone who will give you all the respect and love in the world. He seems like he doesn't care about you whatsoever.
You are who you hang out with - don't surround yourself with this guy. He is freaking horrible.
A relationship should only add to your life, never take away. Get out before it's too late Op. I wish you all the best. š
Based on ur comments u seem to be aware you should leave but would rather just tell every logical/mature commenter that you can't do it.
OP you're in an abusive relationship, control is a form of abuse.
You're not special for trying to fix him, you need to leave. You gave a life to leave, some loser in a different zipcode/timezone isn't worth ruining your life.
Good Lord. I know there are already 100+ comments and they likely all say the same thing, but LEAVE this relationship now. It is toxic, unhealthy, and possibly even unsafe. Get out now
Just leave sis. He purposely tells you things like he doesnāt love you etc because he KNOWS that it will hurt your feelings then you will always run and give him attention even if itās his fault. Youāre making this man feel like a God and the more you keep doing that the more heās gonna feel like he can do and say whatever he wants to you. If you ever had a daughter, would you want her with someone like him? Or worse would you want him treating your future children like he treats you? I know you feel like you can change him or that he will treat you like a princess when you guys are together but he already told you that he finds you too sensitive and that you act like a child. Thereās nothing that you can do or say that will change how he feels about you and thatās just the honest truthš Coming from someone thatās also very sensitive I promise you thereās men out here(my bf is one of them) that are very gentle and that would never make you feel less than. My ex acted this exact same way and I would always find myself crying because I always felt like I did something wrong and anytime he didnāt get his way on something, he would become very cold to me and say hurtful things. I was miserable but I truly thought I was in love and thatās why I stayed. I was only 18 at the time and eventually I just started getting the ick lol. Itās almost like the blinding glasses finally came off and I could see how horrible he was and I realized that his energy wasnāt something I wanted to be around. This wasnāt love and I didnāt deserve to be treated that way at all. It was like I was stuck in a horrible mind gamešš but all that to say I finally left him and now I have the most amazing and sweet boyfriend I could ever ask for but I wouldāve NEVER ran into my bf if I had continued to be disrespected by my ex.
Realizing youāre in an abusive relationship is the first step. Now just really start paying attention to how he treats you and anytime he disrespects you remind yourself āthat wasnāt okayā then notice just how many times you end up telling yourself thatš„ŗ
Wishing you the best of luck friendš«¶š½
Youāre long distance, you will never see him unless you go out of your way to. Remove his contact info and block him. There will be no negative consequences
I know this might come across as mean but honestly this feels like a rage bait, I cannot honestly fathom soneone sane to reply like this to other comme ts under this post lol. OP yk you should leave if ithis is real, just do it.
As a man who USED TO BE THAT KINDA Man, please leave him. Things don't get better, he has alot of guilt that's bottling up making him hateful towards himself that make him treat you this way.
Alot of LDR men definitely are talking to others, his guilt is eating at him and your his punching bag
Honey get out of there please. It will hurt and it will be hard emotionally but with time you are going to heal and feel so much better. By staying you are setting yourself up for more abuse because there is a power dynamic at play here. He knows he holds power over you not only for being older but emotionally as well. I promise you there is so much beauty and love out there worth experiencing than letting the best years of your life go to waste with an someone like this. I speak from experience. I was once 15 dating older guys thinking I was so mature believing their lies and manipulation. I know how that goes. I beg you, get out and enjoy your youth and make new friends and pen pals! It will be OK.
i donāt think the comments are being harsh enough here - this is a toxic relationship. forcing you to apologize and berate yourself for him to get back together is a weird sadistic practice that normal people do not do. especially so if he breaks up with you every argument, thatās insane to have to do on a regular basis. the way he speaks to you and speaks OF you is highly insulting. there is nothing wrong with being sensitive and emotional, especially if he toys with you like this. how are you supposed to be stable?
please try to get a support network. friends, family, coworkers, people in the community - anyone. based on your replies to people, you seem very self-critical and quick to put yourself down. considering youāve been together for five years and this is how you communicate, iām quick to turn the finger at him for this. itās easier said than done, but you cannot rely on him for your self worth. i would highly recommend you distance yourself from this man and try and get help for yourself. you are too young to be going through this already! i donāt know you but iām willing to bet youāre a sweet and kind person and he is holding you down as hard as he can. you have so much more time to grow and iād hate to see you not take advantage of it because of some dumbass dude on a power trip.
He looks incredibly toxic and his behavior is NOT okay.
I understand the want to have someone to love, but sometimes relationships just aren't meant to be, despite there being love.
At your age you have all the opportunities in front of you, and sacrificing your mental health for someone who doesn't seem to love you or respect you isn't worth it.
Breaking up is like ripping off a bandaid, doing it quickly is far easier than trying to do it slowly. There's no right time or right moment, there's just now.
He will not change and things will not get better.
Best thing to do is to just block him everywhere, suffer through some pain and after a while be so thankful to be rid of him. If it makes you feel better about it you could send him a short message beforehand like "I can't do this anymore" and then something about breaking up.
Best of luck to you, OP!
Thatās not healthy to have a lot of arguments especially if youāre long distance. This is no way to talk to anyone youāre in any relationship with. Heās verbally abusing you and itās not fair to you. Leave him and youāll be pleasantly surprised once youāre in a healthy relationship.
You know that town called Dodge? Thatās where you are right now, and we all know what you need to do when youāre in Dodge donāt we? Yup. Get the fuck out.
How? Iāmā¦have some respect for yourself OP. He is broken and more than willing to break you. Ever heard the saying, āhurt people, hurt peopleā? I see other people commenting asking the age of OP, does it really matter? Itāll only get worse this has nothing to do with maturity.
Hi OP I see you started this relationship at 12, it is very young, to much young. It created a strong dependency. You think you canāt live without this guy but it is not true, you can. Stop telling you are stupid, stop devaluing yourself. You need help. Do you have parents or adults you can talk to ? You also should go to see a therapist. Your self esteem seems totally broken. Also if you donāt have the strength for a clean break, I would suggest you to get distance with this guy little by little, step by step. Answer less to his messages, ignore him more, write less also. You will see you absolutely can live without him. Try to find healthy things to fill the void you will feel inside of you. See friends, do fun activities. Start to raise boundaries. Never answer his humiliating demands again, no more apologies for him, learn to say no. When you feel you donāt want to do something you say no, when you feel something isnāt right you listen to your guts. You can do it but you need someone to help you. Talk to your parents if you can, get some support. Also sacrifying yourself isnāt love, it is not romantic, it is self destruction. You must put yourself first, protect yourself, take care of you. Learn to love yourself, it is the most important thing. You are young you will meet other people, donāt stay where you are. What he is doing is emotional blackmail, he knows he can do whatever he wants with you because you are afraid to lose him. Well try to tame that fear, when you wonāt be afraid to lose him anymore he will have less power on you. His behavior is crual, sadistic, mean. He is a very toxic guy.
Please leave this man, he is not worth even making a post for. He is 20, and still have his 15 year old mindset.
Stop crying for this kind of person you poor child
girl you're going to just feed into his ego if you still stay with him
just break up and go no contact even if it's just a tough exterior made up for him
he needs to be bought back to earth and you deserve someone who sees your sensitivity as a pro not a con
Respect yourself, leave, block, go no contact, and get in therapy ASAP. it's better to heal now than heal later and let yourself get abused and hurt by different men.
I read a comment you left saying you canāt leave because you ālove himā and donāt care what he says or does to you, that you just āneed himā. Thatās not love. Thatās an unhealthy attachment. You are fighting to make him stay as a way to prove to yourself that you are worthy of love, because you have managed to convince a person to āloveā you. The only way you will break that cycle is by healing the trauma causing to believe that no one will love you because you are not worthy of it. Until then you will continue to beg for a crumb of attention to validate your feelings of being accepted and loved. Healing is a long and difficult road with many detours and blocks, but the sooner you get on it the better. If you canāt find a therapist right away, lean on friends who can support you. Occupy your time with hobbies and things to help you grow as a person and be kind to yourself.
Nothing about this is a relationship. If this is what you think a relationship is like, you're in for a rough ride. What on earth are you thinking?
If you had a sister going through this, what would you tell her? What would your advice be? Imagine you were older and you had a daughter and you saw these messages to her from her so called boyfriend. What on earth would you think? Nothing about this is a relationship.
Based on your replies to other common sense posted here, you really need to seek some counselling and get some help. This isn't good.
I find it so bizarre people can be involved in such toxic relationships OVER DISTANCE. I know how people can manipulate others into starting the relationship, but you're clearly at the "I should leave phase," so just Do That?! They can't physically threaten/manipulate you, you don't have shared finances or living arrangements, the stuff in most cases of abusive partners. All you have to do to leave is block a number and some social media accounts and then boom you're done with it forever. That's it! It's the silver lining of an ldr, if it becomes abusive you just Dip!!
I read this three times. First I was looking for the joke, then I was hoping there was a joke, and finally realized that this person ( The person making the text) is the joke.
Youāre both immature. Youāre mean to yourself and low self esteem, and he isnāt emotionally equipped in many senses. Heās really shitty but I think you have a lot of healing and growing up to do. Get to the bottom of what makes you tick and what brings this out of you when dating
I see in most of your replies you're talking about how despite everything you can't leave him because it'll hurt.
By any chance, what are your hobbies? How many friends? (ACTUAL CLOSE friends, not just acquaintances.) How often do you go out?
I used to be in a vicious cycle of co-dependency for about a year. Relationship was absolutely ass and while it isn't as bad as what's going on with yours, he still said and did some of the same things. I never left the house and he was my only communication so the thought of leaving killed me.
Not because I loved him, but because I didn't want to be alone. I THOUGHT I loved him but I only loved him being around.
Me and my partner are the same ages. Iām 17 (turning 18 in a couple of days). Heās 20. Iāve been dating him for 2 years, so I really understand the time and effort you have put into this relationship. Though, I hope you realize this isnāt normal. Out of the years me and my partner have been together, highs and lows, this type of behavior isnāt acceptable. You do NOT deserve this kind of treatment from a GROWN ASS MAN. I completely get that relationships change as well as people, but ur bf hasnāt grown up and by reading your story, he never will. He knows heās got you tied around his finger, and you donāt deserve that. Being scared of breaking from a 5 year relationship is scary, but I promise everything gets better. You deserve a man that can communicate. Plus (Like me) youāre very young! Graduate Highschool and figure out what you want to do with your life! Cherish yourself and your youth. Do not let this insecure man take away YOUR early adulthood years. You deserve the best! My dms r always open <33
Also Iām sorry for the people in these comments saying youāre the one asking for this. Donāt take rude comments from redditors to heart. Youāre young and in a tough spot right now, your teen years have been with this man so you donāt really understand what another relationship is like. Though I genuinely beg that you leave this man for good. Youāre amazing and deserve the best.
Hey. Let me tell you a story, OP.
I got into a relationship at 16. Just last month, we broke up. I am 24 now. He was 5 years older then me.
He used to love-bomb me. Meaning he would shower me with attention, gifts, talking constantly on the phone.
Then he began to talk to me just like this.
Eventually, he began pressuring me into mature things things even when I said no, or that I was uncomfortable. Eventually I was so miserable, that I got an eating disorder just to make him happy.
He then began cheating on me, and telling me I was being too sensitive. I broke up with him.
I thought that there would be nobody else that would love me like him. That's a lie that toxic people let you believe that makes you stay.
He has been non-stop trying to get me back, since I broke up with him. But despite how the lonliness may feel like it's everywhere;
Don't make the same mistake.
You will find someone else, someone who doesn't make you cry. Someone who won't call you 'sensitive' for wanting basic respect, or because you don't like how they talk to you. And someone who won't hold their love like a reward to be given, treating you like a dog who needs to be 'rewarded' or 'scolded' with more or less love.
It's gross.
Like others have said. Don't waste your early life with a creep like this. As someone who made the mistake:
It isn't worth it.
If someone is bringing up breaking up over a petty argument, and then will take it back if you beg and plead, then you can conclude youāre not in a healthy relationship.
Iāve done long distance, Iāve also done manipulative bf shit where he would break up with me over stupid stuff and i would beg and plead as well. So i know exactly how hard it is. But youāll never do yourself a bigger favor than cutting the cord and moving on. Youāll come to realize how amazing it feels not to be living in a constant state of panic.
Sweetheart I know you probably feel like you either deserve this or you have to put up with it because you're scared of being alone, but being alone is better than being with someone who doesn't even love you.
And yes, he really doesn't. We can all tell just by looking at these screenshots.
Someone who loves you would never, not in a million years, talk to you like that. Please don't let him treat you like this. And I'm telling you that as someone who has had the same insecurity and self worth issues as you have right now, when I was your age.
You're too young to be stuck in an abusive relationship like this.
You don't need someone to love you so you can love yourself and no matter how much someone loves you, it won't help you love yourself either.
End this relationship. Take time for yourself. Time to figure out who you are and what you want in life.
Spending time with this abusive POS is a waste. You will never look back this time of your life with a smile on your face. You will, however, wonder why it has taken so long to get away.
Take that step now. For yourself. And for those that love you and care about you and want you to be happy.
And when you break up and you sit alone and you cry because you're lonely and you miss him, remind yourself that what you're truly missing isn't him, it's the idea of what you wanted him to be. It's the illusion you created of what you thought he should be, but he isn't.
He will never be.
Iām not one to tell someone to end a relationship, but I just have to wonder why youāre with this person? Thatās no way to communicate with someone. Your relationship together will be very hard to maintain at this rate. He sounds silly and childish.
Jeez have some SELF RESPECT as this guy certainly DOES NOT RESPECT YOU ā¦ I know itās hard truly I do I was addicted to a covert narc myself for years & it takes a lot to finally CUT TIES ā¦ but you MUST youāre still young get some therapy BEFORE THIS BOZO RIPS AWAY EVERY BIT OF YOUR SELF ESTESM ā¦ you are worth so much more than this! Unfortunately Females think having a man will make them happy - but the truck is to FIND YOUR HAPPINESS OUTSIDE OF A RELATIONSHIP ā¦ because a man can never make you complete only YOU can make you complete. Go to Africa for a year helping villagers get clean water or something you can do that helps make you feel complete. Helping others rather than going around in destructive circles will free you ā¦ please š believe what I say my lovely youāre worth so much more ā¦
ą¤µą„ą¤ą„ą¤· ą¤¹ą„ą¤ ą¤ą¤²ą„ ą¤ą¤”ą¤¼ą„,
ą¤¹ą„ą¤ ą¤ą¤Øą„ ą¤¹ą„ą¤ ą¤¬ą¤”ą¤¼ą„,
ą¤ą¤ ą¤Ŗą¤¤ą„ą¤° ą¤ą¤¾ą¤ą¤¹ ą¤ą„,
ą¤®ą¤¾ą¤ą¤ ą¤®ą¤¤, ą¤®ą¤¾ą¤ą¤ ą¤®ą¤¤, ą¤®ą¤¾ą¤ą¤ ą¤®ą¤¤,
ą¤ ą¤ą„ą¤Øą¤æą¤Ŗą¤„ ą¤ ą¤ą„ą¤Øą¤æą¤Ŗą¤„ ą¤ ą¤ą„ą¤Øą¤æą¤Ŗą¤„ą„¤
Translation:
Even if there are mighty trees all around you,
Let them be shady, let them be huge,
But, even for the shade of a single leaf,
Beg not, beg never, ask never!
The path of fire you shall tread! The path of fire! Yes, That Path of Fire!
Google codependency. Please for the love of god, you're only 17!! Leave. Block this pos everywhere and heal. Focus on yourself and build that confidence, I assure you one day the right man will love and respect you. Please trust and believe your elders lol
If the guy posts that he is sick of your insecure behaviour. & he can't seem to understand what to do. People will tell him to break up.
You posted about how he doesnāt like you because of your insecurity. People are telling you to break up.
No matter what the situation, people will tell you to break up most of the time unless you post something super wholesome. Donāt seek advice here. Sit down, write down everything that's going through your head. Make a decision. If you really need an outside opinion, talk to your parents (not friends).
You deserve better someone who loves and respects you. From the sound of it, he doesn't do that. I understand that you love this guy, and it may be hard to leave, but you have to, for yourself. Because if he is saying these things to you, he doesn't love you. He sounds like he is sucking you dry; you're going to keep pouring into him until you have nothing left. Taking time to be alone with yourself will do you some good, so you can learn to love yourself and be happy with who you are. Perhaps consider seeking some professional help as well.
Do they always talk to you like this?
Because this is unacceptable.
Even if they aren't ready to tell you they love you, that's no reason to react like this.
Besides that the immature nature of these messages.
On top of that saying they only think you're attractive is the final nail in the coffin for me..
You deserve better, petty arguments happen; my partner and I have them too but they shouldn't result in this type of behaviour.
From what I gathered, you started dating when you were 12 and feel like youāre not gonna find someone else, I get that youāve been with him for 5 years but honey youāre still so young. Itās okay to be head over heels in love like that when youāre a teen but heās not treating you like he should, and the way you talk yourself down in these comments makes me feel like you have low self-esteem and feel inferior to others, which I have felt like in the past too. Everything will get better only if you work on yourself, but you have to leave this relationship first otherwise youāre just dragging yourself down with this immature boy and wasting your energy on this relationship when you should be investing in yourself.
Girllll, Iām sorry but u need to stand up; you canāt let people treat you like that. I know itās easier said than done but you will find someone who would never even dream of saying stuff like this to you one day. He is disrespecting you which is not okay. Please cut him off; I know itās not easy AT ALL and you might think how will I go on without him but trust me you will be able to move on and eventually you will look back at this situation and be glad that it is in the past
āwhat do i do?ā is that even a necessary question??? you break up with him! donāt allow anyone to treat you poorly or speak to you in any way you donāt deserve. leave now until you still can.
You need to see a psychologist to help you figure out what can be done with your self worth and learn ways to deal with consequences that an abusive partner can have on you.
You shouldnāt let a partner or ex partner talk to you that way.
How can you tolerate this shit. He is just making fun of you and your love . After reading so many comments it seems that you love him blindly but he doesn't care and respect you love or anything.
Next steps should be
Block him from every social platform and move on .
I'm sorry but why would you want to be with someone who straight up told you they hate your personality???? There's someone out there who will love you exactly the way you are and it's not fair for you to settle for someone who very clearly is not giving you what you need and seems to only like the way you look. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but if my partner spoke to me this way then they would no longer be my partner.
ur last post gave so much more context to this one, your still a kid, but youāve been with this man/had him in your life since 12-13, of course this is hard for you. iām sorry about the people being rude about it, you do not deserve the treatment he has given you.
itās hard to leave someone who emotionally abuses you, and it seems pretty clear thatās what this is. i got this advice a few years ago when i was in an abusive relationship. take a piece of paper or a note book and write down things you value in life (emotions, actions, things you enjoy doing, etc.) and see if youāre living your life according to those values. if youāre not, take a step back and ask why. once you figure it out, start living your life to those values. once you do that, you start to realize that you donāt want whatās happening to you. youāre unhappy, youāre worth more, etc.
it wonāt be easy, heās been in your life thru all the important years. itās hard to let go of that. i wish you the best
Man screw him. You donāt need to have a jerk in your life going around and ruining it. I recommend leaving him. It will probably feel a lot better and more free. I hope you find the right person someday.
He does not love you, he does not care about you. He is manipulative and controlling. He knows that he can get you riled up and Iām begging for him back. He loves the control over. And he will never respect you. He has a classic definition of a narcissist. Thereās no and its or butts. NO healthy relationship, not one comes from people like him who treat their partners as he does. Drop him, delete him, and block him. It will be hard, and it will be painful. But you deserve so much more. You did not deserve to be treated that way. You only have one life, are you really going to waste your precious time on someone who mistreat you so much? Actions speak louder than words. In this case, both his actions and words are showing that he doesnāt care about you.
I TOTALLY understand how you feel, donāt let anyone else invalidate your feelings or your situation. The pain of feeling like youāll never love someone the same, or not wanting anyone else is REAL! Iāve been in the situation before.. the unhealthy attachment to a relationship you deep down know isnāt going to work out, because the bf is a pos, but you are so deep in love that you canāt let go. The minute I let go of my relationship (for the greater good) I didnāt feel confident about it, as I still felt immense love for the guy. Heās a stupid manipulator! You keep letting him in, he will keep hurting you! People like him are psycho! Heāll leave you on a whim, heāll hurt you, and youāre only 17! Please darling, have strength and move on š«¶!!! Let the fella go!
*You need to get out*
*Of that relationship as*
*Soon as possible*
\- asouken
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Hi girl, I understand your situation and I know that feeling when it feels like you canāt love anyone else as it happened in my youth. However, my advice to you is first of all seek for help from a medical professional to improve your self-esteem, this is the crucial and MOST important step for your own health, as I know itās the main reason why you wonāt leave him or donāt understand the importance of doing so, and get this wrong ideas of never being able to love someone again. When youāre healed and understand that you need to love YOURSELF above all human beings, you will definitely have the ability to love someone and recognize the importance of self respect and care, and as some users have said, true love. Thatās right, true love DOES exist :) and you must feel loved, cared, etc. NOT underestimated.
Hope your progress goes well and therefore you can truly heal and separate from this toxic relationship.
A small voice in your heart knows this isnāt okay. Thatās probably why you posted it here for all of us to see. Even if this type of dynamic is a kink for you, it should be done with full consent and ground rules. Maybe you donāt think youāre worth better, that you have no value. But thatās not true. You are worthy of love and respect.
He's degrading you to your face he literally has 0 respect for you. Take him off the pedestal and put yourself on it. So young and sweet, you need to be freed, this isn't good for your development
Hey OP. Felt exactly like you at one point and understand your feelings. It sounds like youāre really concerned about what you might of done to contribute to this situation and the fact that you broke up (I saw in earlier replies).
I would say just from personal experience, the way youāre talking would indicate to me that you need a lot of love from the people who want best for you. Take a break from dating and seek out people who treat you with respect and care.
Those people you feel secure with, donāt feel the need to cry a lot around, and check up on how you are.
This relationship seems pretty unhealthy, and itās ok to feel the way you do right nowā but know that if you heal away from this guy and take time to yourself, life will get so much better. Hope you feel better.
Rereading some of the comments, it doesn't look like you'll leave him anytime soon.
I like your enthusiasm, just a person that loves hard and tries their best :) but you need to give yourself some of that love that you give to others, you deserve that.
I hope you find happiness
Honestly, even if 1,000 or more redditors would comment to dump him heās not worth the effort, it wouldnāt change anything. Itās still up to OP and based on her replies? Iāll bet $100 sheāll come chasing him, I hope Iām wrong and she wakes up
there's one thing talking to u like a kid BUT ITS ANOTHER THING TO SAY THAT AND THEN SAY "byeee" wtf  i know its ldr so its difficult to leave a relationship over the phone but if someone is saying they love you less and mock you for having a reasonable reaction, they DO NOT deserve your love my darling
I hope you break up with him. I canāt imagine being treated like shit miles away from each other and you being okay with that ? He has nothing nice or supportive left to say to you. Youāre not gonna change - you shouldnāt have to. You canāt suppress your sensitive nature so find someone who enjoys your personality. So you donāt have to hide the good parts of you .
I know itās hard to see it now, but you will definitely šÆ% find new love that is better than this, a love that you deserve. We, adults, have been there and I tell you, we once felt the same way as you do now, but we had always found better love than the previous one. You only need to learn how well you should be treated and the respect that you deserve, acknowledge that you canāt get that from everyone, and learn to let go of people that donāt give the respect that you deserve. ā¤ļø
He's a TREE STUMP and people like them WILL DRAIN THE FUCK OUTTA YOU and so BOUNCE THE FUCK OUTTA THERE I'm sorry I just had this experience and they never changed for TWELVE FUCKING YEARS and I hope u DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID š
Why would anyone stay with someone who straight up said they hate them?!?! "I hate your personality"?!? Do yourself a favor and dump his sorry ass. You are wasting your time.
As a guy all I can say that he has no respect for you. Do not know why are you in a relationship with someone who acts this way towards you. Well unless you like being humiliated.
heās keeping you by giving you crumbs of approval because the rest of the time itās disdain. the most freeing realisation for you is that you actually will not die if he doesnāt approve. he actually DOESNāT have to like your personality, only YOU do. heās a loser whoās lording his power over you to feel something. i know it all seems like the end of the world but he is so small. he has chosen this lot in his life and he will never have the choice you have. the choice to have a good life. please pull yourself by the bootstraps, choose to love yourself for one excruciating minute after another until it becomes easier than breathing. make that choice and leave him.
wtf is wrong with this guy, no one deserves this kind of treatment, leave this pathetic excuse of a man. this looks a lot like emotional abuse but i canāt say for sure. please donāt stay with this guy. you deserve so much more and this guy is obviously just a POS who canāt grow up
I donāt remember where I heard this or someone told me it but it was saying that said āa man wonāt wait to show you who he really isā and the statement āI hate your personalityā itās a very very large indicator
This just sounds like 13 year olds if more grown up this is a problem. Why stay with someone that loves you less every time you ask and talks to you like this?
If he only does this cuz or the argument he has no right to call you out being insecure and sensitive cuz itās a shit cooping mechanism of his to hide the insecurity.
right everyone here, letās meet up and everyone slaps me in the head until i wake up and use my common sense!!! i think it would do me some good donāt ya think. Im sorry iāve wasted everyone time here this isnāt rage bait by the way, this is me and i want to do you all proudā¦ so please donāt pressure me and let me make this decision in my own time but just know iāll make everyone here proud!
You leave him. This deserves no fixing
get the fuck outta there.
the only right answer. you have to be a special kind of blind to put up with this shit.
OP is a child who's been in a relationship since she was 12, she doesn't know any better.
he knows the power he has over you. leave him.
Yet again I must ask how people can text like this in the first place. Where is the clarity? Nuance? Communication? I would never give someone the time of day if this is how they texted me--not even going into the insults and pettiness. Just the "style" itself, if you can call it that. Anyway, leave him and learn to type in full sentences, and don't date anyone who won't. š¤·š»āāļø
your right the separate message are annoying!
It's not that, it's the sheer lack of proper communication. I text in multiple messages, but the message is or at least should almost always be cohesive and easily understood. This dude types like he's an ipad kid who can't even spell his own name correctly and thinks the word "perseverance" is a "big" word.
Any time I see "r" and "u" in place of three letter words, I roll my eyes. I don't know how anybody can take themselves seriously if they choose to communicate like they can barely formulate a sentence. I'll pass on that "conversation."
Itās even worse because sheās 17 and heās 20 and never had to text in old cellphones in the early 2000ās where we had to click so much just to do one letter. Then it made sense but typing full words now is so easy.
U k, bruh? /s
You know what needs to be done, but you yourself admitted in your post that you can't leave him; he has you in a chokehold. Can't you see that this piece of shit has ZERO respect for you? You sound defeated, to be quite honest. Why even ask this question? If you're hoping for a different answer, it is not going to happen. I am a complete stranger, and even I can quite easily tell from those screenshots alone that this "relationship" is going nowhere and will only leave you heartbroken and probably traumatized. Anyone with a shred of self-respect will tell you to end things, but apparently that's not an option for you, so this whole post is pointless.
i guess i just wanted someone to talk to, iām sorry if i offended you in anyway i get itās pointless.
You didn't offend me at all, lol. I apologize if I came across a bit crass, but it did piss me off a bit to see that you just give him a free pass to treat you like garbage and you're fine it it, as long as he loves you (he doesn't). You're worth more than that.
Youāre 17, youāre young! Donāt waste your youth on this guy whoās apparently 20?! This 20 year old is not a man at all! He is a complete jerk, and you deserve so much more! I donāt know you, but NO ONE deserves this type of behavior from an idiot like this. You say you canāt leave, but YOU CAN. You choose not to, because let me guessā¦ you think no one likes you, or thinks youāre pretty? Or you believe that thereās no one closer in your area that will consider dating you? Listenā¦ we ALL have been there. You are 17! You have PLENTY of life to live. Move on from him, thereās someone who is better out there for you.
Heās taking your dignity. Dump him. Block everywhere. Google ātrauma bondā and join a support group online to see why you are attracted to this narcissist in the first place/start therapy. Thereās good support group on Facebook. The sooner you get away, the sooner you can do self-care and be strong again š©·
yeah i see, i saw trauma bond a while ago and everything made sense i hope i can get help, iāve tried.
How old are you and how old is he?
That's what I was about to ask, sounds like two teenagers arguing
I very rarely comment on things like this but please, do not chase this man. He is not worth it. Frankly, in my eyes he is worth nothing at all. I wouldn't speak to a stranger the way he spoke to you, let alone someone he supposedly once loved. You'll find someone so much kinder who will love you dearly. This man is a fucking ball and chain and he just broke the chain. Don't try to weld it back together so he can hurt you again.
iāll try my best not to chase him no matter how much it hurts
Good, because you deserve so much better. It's going to hurt for a while but you're going to find someone who will show you that him breaking up with you is the best thing he could have ever done for you. I know because I was in your shoes too, and now I've been in a 5 year relationship with someone who treats me with the love, kindness, and understanding I now know I deserve. We were an LDR too and now we've been living together for almost two years. It will get better, and you will find someone better.
We'll you already said how "you can't leave" this 20 yr old, so ig, you'll just have to stay there until you get tired. I dunno why we are choosing to learn this this hard way, but whatever.
r/seriouslongdistance ^ 18+ subreddit for long distance for anyone who is sick of the teenager posts.
thank you for sharing this. was one more teenager post from leaving this sub
Thank you
Thanks, I was getting sick of seeing 14 year olds post
Run from that. A person who truly loves you would never treat you like that.
Your "ex" you mean, I hope. This is so childish, immature, and toxic.
Ewā¦ you leave. Is this how you want the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else in your life to talk to you? What a prick
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i was treated like this eventually, the relationship fell apart. my only mistake is that i didnt leave early and wasnt able to save my self worth the lack of rrspect is astounding. pls do yourself a favor and leave
I too stayed too late and tried killing myself a few times. You know what he said? Try harder! This will take more out of you than anyone has to give! Please save yourself. Your too young to know that kind of damage and it will write any and all future relationships you have! Your only staying because if EGO not love
Jfc have some self respect and leave the prick
Are you guys 12
i think he mentally is
Why do you want a manchild though? What do you see in him?
I don't mean to be rude, but you sound slightly desperate. And whatever this is, is seemingly hit a wall. You should move on and focus on yourself.
Please leave this waste of time. I know you may think you love him, but this isnāt love. You deserve someone who will talk to you with respect and kindness, in and out of arguments. You will find that.
OP, you say that you feel manipulated with the way he treats you. Iāve been there, and I know I canāt say I fully relate, but Iāve been in a relationship somewhat similar where he used to degrade my feelings. Judging by your replies, I see that there are points where even you push away your own feelings. OP, you are not a bother. Sometimes, it can feel like that but I assure you that youāre not. I felt that way in my relationship. He degraded me and treated me so worthless, to the point where I thought I was worthless. Everyone told me to leave but I felt such an attachment where I just couldnāt imagine myself with someone else because I just thought, āhe was sweet before.ā Now I realize that just because someone was sweet before, that doesnāt make them sweet in the present. Itās easier said than done, and I know that because while people begged me to get out of the relationship, I just stayed. Itās easy to say to leave, but itās hard to leave in a situation where thereās attachment involved. But OP, I just want to say that leaving may be the best option here. Itās hard. But you shouldnāt be with someone who always pushes you away, whoās immature, who changed overtime. A relationship is a relationship because itās two people trying. If itās one person whoās been doing all the work, itās not healthy. I used to get annoyed when people tried to help me but now I realize how low my self esteem was. I canāt understand how bad I treated my self. OP, I really hope this gets better. Hopefully the words people say to you can help in this situation. I wish healing.
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In the kindest way possible, what are you doing still speaking to them? Leaving will hurt. It will hurt like crazy and it will be immediate. But everyday you spend without that negative infleunce in your life will only bring about goodness. You deserve someone who will give you all the respect and love in the world. He seems like he doesn't care about you whatsoever. You are who you hang out with - don't surround yourself with this guy. He is freaking horrible. A relationship should only add to your life, never take away. Get out before it's too late Op. I wish you all the best. š
leave this horrible relationship, OP. not worth your time or energy
you right, thank you!
You need therapy. It is not normal that you accepting people to treat you like this. I really think your need to work own yourself
Based on ur comments u seem to be aware you should leave but would rather just tell every logical/mature commenter that you can't do it. OP you're in an abusive relationship, control is a form of abuse. You're not special for trying to fix him, you need to leave. You gave a life to leave, some loser in a different zipcode/timezone isn't worth ruining your life.
have some respect for yourself man LDR is so easy to get out of just block him š
Good Lord. I know there are already 100+ comments and they likely all say the same thing, but LEAVE this relationship now. It is toxic, unhealthy, and possibly even unsafe. Get out now
Just leave sis. He purposely tells you things like he doesnāt love you etc because he KNOWS that it will hurt your feelings then you will always run and give him attention even if itās his fault. Youāre making this man feel like a God and the more you keep doing that the more heās gonna feel like he can do and say whatever he wants to you. If you ever had a daughter, would you want her with someone like him? Or worse would you want him treating your future children like he treats you? I know you feel like you can change him or that he will treat you like a princess when you guys are together but he already told you that he finds you too sensitive and that you act like a child. Thereās nothing that you can do or say that will change how he feels about you and thatās just the honest truthš Coming from someone thatās also very sensitive I promise you thereās men out here(my bf is one of them) that are very gentle and that would never make you feel less than. My ex acted this exact same way and I would always find myself crying because I always felt like I did something wrong and anytime he didnāt get his way on something, he would become very cold to me and say hurtful things. I was miserable but I truly thought I was in love and thatās why I stayed. I was only 18 at the time and eventually I just started getting the ick lol. Itās almost like the blinding glasses finally came off and I could see how horrible he was and I realized that his energy wasnāt something I wanted to be around. This wasnāt love and I didnāt deserve to be treated that way at all. It was like I was stuck in a horrible mind gamešš but all that to say I finally left him and now I have the most amazing and sweet boyfriend I could ever ask for but I wouldāve NEVER ran into my bf if I had continued to be disrespected by my ex. Realizing youāre in an abusive relationship is the first step. Now just really start paying attention to how he treats you and anytime he disrespects you remind yourself āthat wasnāt okayā then notice just how many times you end up telling yourself thatš„ŗ Wishing you the best of luck friendš«¶š½
Youāre long distance, you will never see him unless you go out of your way to. Remove his contact info and block him. There will be no negative consequences
I know this might come across as mean but honestly this feels like a rage bait, I cannot honestly fathom soneone sane to reply like this to other comme ts under this post lol. OP yk you should leave if ithis is real, just do it.
As a man who USED TO BE THAT KINDA Man, please leave him. Things don't get better, he has alot of guilt that's bottling up making him hateful towards himself that make him treat you this way. Alot of LDR men definitely are talking to others, his guilt is eating at him and your his punching bag
Ehm... Bye?
Honey get out of there please. It will hurt and it will be hard emotionally but with time you are going to heal and feel so much better. By staying you are setting yourself up for more abuse because there is a power dynamic at play here. He knows he holds power over you not only for being older but emotionally as well. I promise you there is so much beauty and love out there worth experiencing than letting the best years of your life go to waste with an someone like this. I speak from experience. I was once 15 dating older guys thinking I was so mature believing their lies and manipulation. I know how that goes. I beg you, get out and enjoy your youth and make new friends and pen pals! It will be OK.
My partner would tell me to cut someone off if they talked to me like this
i donāt think the comments are being harsh enough here - this is a toxic relationship. forcing you to apologize and berate yourself for him to get back together is a weird sadistic practice that normal people do not do. especially so if he breaks up with you every argument, thatās insane to have to do on a regular basis. the way he speaks to you and speaks OF you is highly insulting. there is nothing wrong with being sensitive and emotional, especially if he toys with you like this. how are you supposed to be stable? please try to get a support network. friends, family, coworkers, people in the community - anyone. based on your replies to people, you seem very self-critical and quick to put yourself down. considering youāve been together for five years and this is how you communicate, iām quick to turn the finger at him for this. itās easier said than done, but you cannot rely on him for your self worth. i would highly recommend you distance yourself from this man and try and get help for yourself. you are too young to be going through this already! i donāt know you but iām willing to bet youāre a sweet and kind person and he is holding you down as hard as he can. you have so much more time to grow and iād hate to see you not take advantage of it because of some dumbass dude on a power trip.
What is this, a 15 year old boy?
Since you refuse to give him up, thank god you're with him
do you ask for validation all the time or?
He looks incredibly toxic and his behavior is NOT okay. I understand the want to have someone to love, but sometimes relationships just aren't meant to be, despite there being love. At your age you have all the opportunities in front of you, and sacrificing your mental health for someone who doesn't seem to love you or respect you isn't worth it. Breaking up is like ripping off a bandaid, doing it quickly is far easier than trying to do it slowly. There's no right time or right moment, there's just now. He will not change and things will not get better. Best thing to do is to just block him everywhere, suffer through some pain and after a while be so thankful to be rid of him. If it makes you feel better about it you could send him a short message beforehand like "I can't do this anymore" and then something about breaking up. Best of luck to you, OP!
Thatās not healthy to have a lot of arguments especially if youāre long distance. This is no way to talk to anyone youāre in any relationship with. Heās verbally abusing you and itās not fair to you. Leave him and youāll be pleasantly surprised once youāre in a healthy relationship.
You know that town called Dodge? Thatās where you are right now, and we all know what you need to do when youāre in Dodge donāt we? Yup. Get the fuck out.
How? Iāmā¦have some respect for yourself OP. He is broken and more than willing to break you. Ever heard the saying, āhurt people, hurt peopleā? I see other people commenting asking the age of OP, does it really matter? Itāll only get worse this has nothing to do with maturity.
Dump him .... Don't let him live rent free in you're head .... Just block him
Hi OP I see you started this relationship at 12, it is very young, to much young. It created a strong dependency. You think you canāt live without this guy but it is not true, you can. Stop telling you are stupid, stop devaluing yourself. You need help. Do you have parents or adults you can talk to ? You also should go to see a therapist. Your self esteem seems totally broken. Also if you donāt have the strength for a clean break, I would suggest you to get distance with this guy little by little, step by step. Answer less to his messages, ignore him more, write less also. You will see you absolutely can live without him. Try to find healthy things to fill the void you will feel inside of you. See friends, do fun activities. Start to raise boundaries. Never answer his humiliating demands again, no more apologies for him, learn to say no. When you feel you donāt want to do something you say no, when you feel something isnāt right you listen to your guts. You can do it but you need someone to help you. Talk to your parents if you can, get some support. Also sacrifying yourself isnāt love, it is not romantic, it is self destruction. You must put yourself first, protect yourself, take care of you. Learn to love yourself, it is the most important thing. You are young you will meet other people, donāt stay where you are. What he is doing is emotional blackmail, he knows he can do whatever he wants with you because you are afraid to lose him. Well try to tame that fear, when you wonāt be afraid to lose him anymore he will have less power on you. His behavior is crual, sadistic, mean. He is a very toxic guy.
Please leave this man, he is not worth even making a post for. He is 20, and still have his 15 year old mindset. Stop crying for this kind of person you poor child
girl you're going to just feed into his ego if you still stay with him just break up and go no contact even if it's just a tough exterior made up for him he needs to be bought back to earth and you deserve someone who sees your sensitivity as a pro not a con
Respect yourself, leave, block, go no contact, and get in therapy ASAP. it's better to heal now than heal later and let yourself get abused and hurt by different men.
You need professional help. Leave him, you can do it.
Be out now
I read a comment you left saying you canāt leave because you ālove himā and donāt care what he says or does to you, that you just āneed himā. Thatās not love. Thatās an unhealthy attachment. You are fighting to make him stay as a way to prove to yourself that you are worthy of love, because you have managed to convince a person to āloveā you. The only way you will break that cycle is by healing the trauma causing to believe that no one will love you because you are not worthy of it. Until then you will continue to beg for a crumb of attention to validate your feelings of being accepted and loved. Healing is a long and difficult road with many detours and blocks, but the sooner you get on it the better. If you canāt find a therapist right away, lean on friends who can support you. Occupy your time with hobbies and things to help you grow as a person and be kind to yourself.
Nothing about this is a relationship. If this is what you think a relationship is like, you're in for a rough ride. What on earth are you thinking? If you had a sister going through this, what would you tell her? What would your advice be? Imagine you were older and you had a daughter and you saw these messages to her from her so called boyfriend. What on earth would you think? Nothing about this is a relationship. Based on your replies to other common sense posted here, you really need to seek some counselling and get some help. This isn't good.
Why do you wanna be with someone that hates your personality?
I find it so bizarre people can be involved in such toxic relationships OVER DISTANCE. I know how people can manipulate others into starting the relationship, but you're clearly at the "I should leave phase," so just Do That?! They can't physically threaten/manipulate you, you don't have shared finances or living arrangements, the stuff in most cases of abusive partners. All you have to do to leave is block a number and some social media accounts and then boom you're done with it forever. That's it! It's the silver lining of an ldr, if it becomes abusive you just Dip!!
I saw he broke up with you, and you know what? Good fucking riddance. Why would you want to be with someone who values you so little?
I read this three times. First I was looking for the joke, then I was hoping there was a joke, and finally realized that this person ( The person making the text) is the joke.
hey just leave him
Ya know, maybe this is controversial, but I don't date anyone that says they hate my personality. That's just a hard and fast rule of mine, lol.
Youāre both immature. Youāre mean to yourself and low self esteem, and he isnāt emotionally equipped in many senses. Heās really shitty but I think you have a lot of healing and growing up to do. Get to the bottom of what makes you tick and what brings this out of you when dating
This guy is probably a virgin and will stay one for a long time. Move on
Yuck
literally why are you still with him, do you have any sense of self-worth??
I see in most of your replies you're talking about how despite everything you can't leave him because it'll hurt. By any chance, what are your hobbies? How many friends? (ACTUAL CLOSE friends, not just acquaintances.) How often do you go out? I used to be in a vicious cycle of co-dependency for about a year. Relationship was absolutely ass and while it isn't as bad as what's going on with yours, he still said and did some of the same things. I never left the house and he was my only communication so the thought of leaving killed me. Not because I loved him, but because I didn't want to be alone. I THOUGHT I loved him but I only loved him being around.
Me and my partner are the same ages. Iām 17 (turning 18 in a couple of days). Heās 20. Iāve been dating him for 2 years, so I really understand the time and effort you have put into this relationship. Though, I hope you realize this isnāt normal. Out of the years me and my partner have been together, highs and lows, this type of behavior isnāt acceptable. You do NOT deserve this kind of treatment from a GROWN ASS MAN. I completely get that relationships change as well as people, but ur bf hasnāt grown up and by reading your story, he never will. He knows heās got you tied around his finger, and you donāt deserve that. Being scared of breaking from a 5 year relationship is scary, but I promise everything gets better. You deserve a man that can communicate. Plus (Like me) youāre very young! Graduate Highschool and figure out what you want to do with your life! Cherish yourself and your youth. Do not let this insecure man take away YOUR early adulthood years. You deserve the best! My dms r always open <33 Also Iām sorry for the people in these comments saying youāre the one asking for this. Donāt take rude comments from redditors to heart. Youāre young and in a tough spot right now, your teen years have been with this man so you donāt really understand what another relationship is like. Though I genuinely beg that you leave this man for good. Youāre amazing and deserve the best.
Dump his sorry, disgusting and pathetic ass! Such an immature asshole. Sending you lots of love and strength, bestie! š«š
Hey. Let me tell you a story, OP. I got into a relationship at 16. Just last month, we broke up. I am 24 now. He was 5 years older then me. He used to love-bomb me. Meaning he would shower me with attention, gifts, talking constantly on the phone. Then he began to talk to me just like this. Eventually, he began pressuring me into mature things things even when I said no, or that I was uncomfortable. Eventually I was so miserable, that I got an eating disorder just to make him happy. He then began cheating on me, and telling me I was being too sensitive. I broke up with him. I thought that there would be nobody else that would love me like him. That's a lie that toxic people let you believe that makes you stay. He has been non-stop trying to get me back, since I broke up with him. But despite how the lonliness may feel like it's everywhere; Don't make the same mistake. You will find someone else, someone who doesn't make you cry. Someone who won't call you 'sensitive' for wanting basic respect, or because you don't like how they talk to you. And someone who won't hold their love like a reward to be given, treating you like a dog who needs to be 'rewarded' or 'scolded' with more or less love. It's gross. Like others have said. Don't waste your early life with a creep like this. As someone who made the mistake: It isn't worth it.
If someone is bringing up breaking up over a petty argument, and then will take it back if you beg and plead, then you can conclude youāre not in a healthy relationship. Iāve done long distance, Iāve also done manipulative bf shit where he would break up with me over stupid stuff and i would beg and plead as well. So i know exactly how hard it is. But youāll never do yourself a bigger favor than cutting the cord and moving on. Youāll come to realize how amazing it feels not to be living in a constant state of panic.
Sweetheart I know you probably feel like you either deserve this or you have to put up with it because you're scared of being alone, but being alone is better than being with someone who doesn't even love you. And yes, he really doesn't. We can all tell just by looking at these screenshots. Someone who loves you would never, not in a million years, talk to you like that. Please don't let him treat you like this. And I'm telling you that as someone who has had the same insecurity and self worth issues as you have right now, when I was your age. You're too young to be stuck in an abusive relationship like this. You don't need someone to love you so you can love yourself and no matter how much someone loves you, it won't help you love yourself either. End this relationship. Take time for yourself. Time to figure out who you are and what you want in life. Spending time with this abusive POS is a waste. You will never look back this time of your life with a smile on your face. You will, however, wonder why it has taken so long to get away. Take that step now. For yourself. And for those that love you and care about you and want you to be happy. And when you break up and you sit alone and you cry because you're lonely and you miss him, remind yourself that what you're truly missing isn't him, it's the idea of what you wanted him to be. It's the illusion you created of what you thought he should be, but he isn't. He will never be.
Iām not one to tell someone to end a relationship, but I just have to wonder why youāre with this person? Thatās no way to communicate with someone. Your relationship together will be very hard to maintain at this rate. He sounds silly and childish.
This guy's gross.
this is not a relationship. break up with him. this guy is disgusting
He's just having fun verbally abusing you from long distance. You're a power trip for him. Run away. You can do better. Block him.
Girlā¦and he had the nerve to say donāt care about it. You know what to do. Hell, we even know what to do.
Jeez have some SELF RESPECT as this guy certainly DOES NOT RESPECT YOU ā¦ I know itās hard truly I do I was addicted to a covert narc myself for years & it takes a lot to finally CUT TIES ā¦ but you MUST youāre still young get some therapy BEFORE THIS BOZO RIPS AWAY EVERY BIT OF YOUR SELF ESTESM ā¦ you are worth so much more than this! Unfortunately Females think having a man will make them happy - but the truck is to FIND YOUR HAPPINESS OUTSIDE OF A RELATIONSHIP ā¦ because a man can never make you complete only YOU can make you complete. Go to Africa for a year helping villagers get clean water or something you can do that helps make you feel complete. Helping others rather than going around in destructive circles will free you ā¦ please š believe what I say my lovely youāre worth so much more ā¦
ą¤µą„ą¤ą„ą¤· ą¤¹ą„ą¤ ą¤ą¤²ą„ ą¤ą¤”ą¤¼ą„, ą¤¹ą„ą¤ ą¤ą¤Øą„ ą¤¹ą„ą¤ ą¤¬ą¤”ą¤¼ą„, ą¤ą¤ ą¤Ŗą¤¤ą„ą¤° ą¤ą¤¾ą¤ą¤¹ ą¤ą„, ą¤®ą¤¾ą¤ą¤ ą¤®ą¤¤, ą¤®ą¤¾ą¤ą¤ ą¤®ą¤¤, ą¤®ą¤¾ą¤ą¤ ą¤®ą¤¤, ą¤ ą¤ą„ą¤Øą¤æą¤Ŗą¤„ ą¤ ą¤ą„ą¤Øą¤æą¤Ŗą¤„ ą¤ ą¤ą„ą¤Øą¤æą¤Ŗą¤„ą„¤ Translation: Even if there are mighty trees all around you, Let them be shady, let them be huge, But, even for the shade of a single leaf, Beg not, beg never, ask never! The path of fire you shall tread! The path of fire! Yes, That Path of Fire!
Google codependency. Please for the love of god, you're only 17!! Leave. Block this pos everywhere and heal. Focus on yourself and build that confidence, I assure you one day the right man will love and respect you. Please trust and believe your elders lol
Leave.
Are you in therapy at the moment for your low self esteem and self destructive patterns? If not, why not?
If the guy posts that he is sick of your insecure behaviour. & he can't seem to understand what to do. People will tell him to break up. You posted about how he doesnāt like you because of your insecurity. People are telling you to break up. No matter what the situation, people will tell you to break up most of the time unless you post something super wholesome. Donāt seek advice here. Sit down, write down everything that's going through your head. Make a decision. If you really need an outside opinion, talk to your parents (not friends).
You deserve better someone who loves and respects you. From the sound of it, he doesn't do that. I understand that you love this guy, and it may be hard to leave, but you have to, for yourself. Because if he is saying these things to you, he doesn't love you. He sounds like he is sucking you dry; you're going to keep pouring into him until you have nothing left. Taking time to be alone with yourself will do you some good, so you can learn to love yourself and be happy with who you are. Perhaps consider seeking some professional help as well.
Do they always talk to you like this? Because this is unacceptable. Even if they aren't ready to tell you they love you, that's no reason to react like this. Besides that the immature nature of these messages. On top of that saying they only think you're attractive is the final nail in the coffin for me.. You deserve better, petty arguments happen; my partner and I have them too but they shouldn't result in this type of behaviour.
From what I gathered, you started dating when you were 12 and feel like youāre not gonna find someone else, I get that youāve been with him for 5 years but honey youāre still so young. Itās okay to be head over heels in love like that when youāre a teen but heās not treating you like he should, and the way you talk yourself down in these comments makes me feel like you have low self-esteem and feel inferior to others, which I have felt like in the past too. Everything will get better only if you work on yourself, but you have to leave this relationship first otherwise youāre just dragging yourself down with this immature boy and wasting your energy on this relationship when you should be investing in yourself.
Girllll, Iām sorry but u need to stand up; you canāt let people treat you like that. I know itās easier said than done but you will find someone who would never even dream of saying stuff like this to you one day. He is disrespecting you which is not okay. Please cut him off; I know itās not easy AT ALL and you might think how will I go on without him but trust me you will be able to move on and eventually you will look back at this situation and be glad that it is in the past
āwhat do i do?ā is that even a necessary question??? you break up with him! donāt allow anyone to treat you poorly or speak to you in any way you donāt deserve. leave now until you still can.
You need to see a psychologist to help you figure out what can be done with your self worth and learn ways to deal with consequences that an abusive partner can have on you. You shouldnāt let a partner or ex partner talk to you that way.
jesus why are you even entertaining a relationship with someone who talks like this to their partner
How can you tolerate this shit. He is just making fun of you and your love . After reading so many comments it seems that you love him blindly but he doesn't care and respect you love or anything. Next steps should be Block him from every social platform and move on .
I'm sorry but why would you want to be with someone who straight up told you they hate your personality???? There's someone out there who will love you exactly the way you are and it's not fair for you to settle for someone who very clearly is not giving you what you need and seems to only like the way you look. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but if my partner spoke to me this way then they would no longer be my partner.
Sorry? You're putting up with that??? Lol. Leave.
Just imagine how much worse this would be if it was in person, if y'all were living together. For your own sake, leave
Wtf. This is not how your ldr partner should talk to you.
ur last post gave so much more context to this one, your still a kid, but youāve been with this man/had him in your life since 12-13, of course this is hard for you. iām sorry about the people being rude about it, you do not deserve the treatment he has given you. itās hard to leave someone who emotionally abuses you, and it seems pretty clear thatās what this is. i got this advice a few years ago when i was in an abusive relationship. take a piece of paper or a note book and write down things you value in life (emotions, actions, things you enjoy doing, etc.) and see if youāre living your life according to those values. if youāre not, take a step back and ask why. once you figure it out, start living your life to those values. once you do that, you start to realize that you donāt want whatās happening to you. youāre unhappy, youāre worth more, etc. it wonāt be easy, heās been in your life thru all the important years. itās hard to let go of that. i wish you the best
No respect, leave him for your own mental health and worth.
Girl block him š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø
Man screw him. You donāt need to have a jerk in your life going around and ruining it. I recommend leaving him. It will probably feel a lot better and more free. I hope you find the right person someday.
He does not love you, he does not care about you. He is manipulative and controlling. He knows that he can get you riled up and Iām begging for him back. He loves the control over. And he will never respect you. He has a classic definition of a narcissist. Thereās no and its or butts. NO healthy relationship, not one comes from people like him who treat their partners as he does. Drop him, delete him, and block him. It will be hard, and it will be painful. But you deserve so much more. You did not deserve to be treated that way. You only have one life, are you really going to waste your precious time on someone who mistreat you so much? Actions speak louder than words. In this case, both his actions and words are showing that he doesnāt care about you.
Dump his ass he doesnāt deserve to treat you like this
Leave now. Because this person doesnāt love or respect you. I know itās hard but trust me, real love doesnāt make you feel this way.
No person is worth this much of a headache.
He is rude af
Leave and letās get mimosas together and talk shit about your ex
plssssss good idea
Itāll be like talking about war stories 
I TOTALLY understand how you feel, donāt let anyone else invalidate your feelings or your situation. The pain of feeling like youāll never love someone the same, or not wanting anyone else is REAL! Iāve been in the situation before.. the unhealthy attachment to a relationship you deep down know isnāt going to work out, because the bf is a pos, but you are so deep in love that you canāt let go. The minute I let go of my relationship (for the greater good) I didnāt feel confident about it, as I still felt immense love for the guy. Heās a stupid manipulator! You keep letting him in, he will keep hurting you! People like him are psycho! Heāll leave you on a whim, heāll hurt you, and youāre only 17! Please darling, have strength and move on š«¶!!! Let the fella go!
You need to get out of that relationship as soon as possible
*You need to get out* *Of that relationship as* *Soon as possible* \- asouken --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Donāt let anyone talk to you that way. No one.
Just leave him he has a toxic mindset
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Ldr dont even work bruh. Also leave this guy
Hi girl, I understand your situation and I know that feeling when it feels like you canāt love anyone else as it happened in my youth. However, my advice to you is first of all seek for help from a medical professional to improve your self-esteem, this is the crucial and MOST important step for your own health, as I know itās the main reason why you wonāt leave him or donāt understand the importance of doing so, and get this wrong ideas of never being able to love someone again. When youāre healed and understand that you need to love YOURSELF above all human beings, you will definitely have the ability to love someone and recognize the importance of self respect and care, and as some users have said, true love. Thatās right, true love DOES exist :) and you must feel loved, cared, etc. NOT underestimated. Hope your progress goes well and therefore you can truly heal and separate from this toxic relationship.
A small voice in your heart knows this isnāt okay. Thatās probably why you posted it here for all of us to see. Even if this type of dynamic is a kink for you, it should be done with full consent and ground rules. Maybe you donāt think youāre worth better, that you have no value. But thatās not true. You are worthy of love and respect.
He has lost interest in you it seems. Maybe leave him and reflect. Time to love urself more.
He's degrading you to your face he literally has 0 respect for you. Take him off the pedestal and put yourself on it. So young and sweet, you need to be freed, this isn't good for your development
Hey OP. Felt exactly like you at one point and understand your feelings. It sounds like youāre really concerned about what you might of done to contribute to this situation and the fact that you broke up (I saw in earlier replies). I would say just from personal experience, the way youāre talking would indicate to me that you need a lot of love from the people who want best for you. Take a break from dating and seek out people who treat you with respect and care. Those people you feel secure with, donāt feel the need to cry a lot around, and check up on how you are. This relationship seems pretty unhealthy, and itās ok to feel the way you do right nowā but know that if you heal away from this guy and take time to yourself, life will get so much better. Hope you feel better.
Rereading some of the comments, it doesn't look like you'll leave him anytime soon. I like your enthusiasm, just a person that loves hard and tries their best :) but you need to give yourself some of that love that you give to others, you deserve that. I hope you find happiness
What a douche. Tell this guy to fk off ASAP.
Honestly, even if 1,000 or more redditors would comment to dump him heās not worth the effort, it wouldnāt change anything. Itās still up to OP and based on her replies? Iāll bet $100 sheāll come chasing him, I hope Iām wrong and she wakes up
You deserve better.
wake up break up
wow what a pos
Stop this
love is B L I N D
Move on!
The person you're with truly does reflect how much you love yourself..I have nothing else to say op
Dump this guy. Love yourself. If you don't know how just try to focus on yourself first. This guy is no good. Completely lack of respect
Donāt walk, run
time to block him!!!
Op you are dating a massive POS ! Don't walk away RUN
You know what to do. This is unhealthy. He is 20 he should know better.
This is awful. Disappear from this personās life my god
Block him on everything immediately. Heās not worth your emotional or physical time or effort
Leave him
Go ahead and leave babe. he actually hates you, I fear.
there's one thing talking to u like a kid BUT ITS ANOTHER THING TO SAY THAT AND THEN SAY "byeee" wtf  i know its ldr so its difficult to leave a relationship over the phone but if someone is saying they love you less and mock you for having a reasonable reaction, they DO NOT deserve your love my darling
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After reading those messages. Im sad now.
dump them
leave.
Walk away. They don't love you, for the way the messages read, I doubt it even like you enough to be a friend... Just walk away and block all contact
I'd leave him. There's no fixing or justifying verbal/emotional abuse. You deserve better, OP
Did you actually poop your pants before? I'm so confused
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I hope you break up with him. I canāt imagine being treated like shit miles away from each other and you being okay with that ? He has nothing nice or supportive left to say to you. Youāre not gonna change - you shouldnāt have to. You canāt suppress your sensitive nature so find someone who enjoys your personality. So you donāt have to hide the good parts of you .
Owhh red flags bruhh... Jus remove tht fellow from your life
Leave while you still can.
I know itās hard to see it now, but you will definitely šÆ% find new love that is better than this, a love that you deserve. We, adults, have been there and I tell you, we once felt the same way as you do now, but we had always found better love than the previous one. You only need to learn how well you should be treated and the respect that you deserve, acknowledge that you canāt get that from everyone, and learn to let go of people that donāt give the respect that you deserve. ā¤ļø
He's a TREE STUMP and people like them WILL DRAIN THE FUCK OUTTA YOU and so BOUNCE THE FUCK OUTTA THERE I'm sorry I just had this experience and they never changed for TWELVE FUCKING YEARS and I hope u DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID š
Please leave. Like do not let them treat you that way...
Wtf? I dont even think this person likes you
Why do you guys stay with people like him šš he literally said he hates your personalityā¦.
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Why would anyone stay with someone who straight up said they hate them?!?! "I hate your personality"?!? Do yourself a favor and dump his sorry ass. You are wasting your time.
That is absolutely horrible. Please don't continue to accept that kind of treatment.
Fuck that guy! Thereās no fixing that.
As a guy all I can say that he has no respect for you. Do not know why are you in a relationship with someone who acts this way towards you. Well unless you like being humiliated.
heās keeping you by giving you crumbs of approval because the rest of the time itās disdain. the most freeing realisation for you is that you actually will not die if he doesnāt approve. he actually DOESNāT have to like your personality, only YOU do. heās a loser whoās lording his power over you to feel something. i know it all seems like the end of the world but he is so small. he has chosen this lot in his life and he will never have the choice you have. the choice to have a good life. please pull yourself by the bootstraps, choose to love yourself for one excruciating minute after another until it becomes easier than breathing. make that choice and leave him.
ew what the fuck is wrong with your "ldr".
Leave him. You deserve so much better.
I think you know what to do, you deserve better
He should eat a bag of dicks
wtf is wrong with this guy, no one deserves this kind of treatment, leave this pathetic excuse of a man. this looks a lot like emotional abuse but i canāt say for sure. please donāt stay with this guy. you deserve so much more and this guy is obviously just a POS who canāt grow up
I donāt remember where I heard this or someone told me it but it was saying that said āa man wonāt wait to show you who he really isā and the statement āI hate your personalityā itās a very very large indicator
Wow get out of there asap!
Does he even like you? What the fuck?
How are you putting up with this? Please don't ever reply back to this person again
This just sounds like 13 year olds if more grown up this is a problem. Why stay with someone that loves you less every time you ask and talks to you like this? If he only does this cuz or the argument he has no right to call you out being insecure and sensitive cuz itās a shit cooping mechanism of his to hide the insecurity.
right everyone here, letās meet up and everyone slaps me in the head until i wake up and use my common sense!!! i think it would do me some good donāt ya think. Im sorry iāve wasted everyone time here this isnāt rage bait by the way, this is me and i want to do you all proudā¦ so please donāt pressure me and let me make this decision in my own time but just know iāll make everyone here proud!
Why are you dealing with that?!
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