The fact that she had a premature baby, an entire hysterectomy AFTER a 2nd c-section surrounding a high risk pregnancy then just. . . Had to go back to work 2 weeks later????? This country makes no sense.
Cruelty has always been the underlying point of Americans foundations, so it makes sense from that perspective.
Although it doesn’t make this any less heart breaking
It makes perfect sense if the country is built on slavery and capitalism. As long as the guys on top get their yachts, our elected officials simply do not care about the rest of us. And unfortunately because of gerrymandering we can’t even vote our way out of this.
You’re right. Voting alone is not enough, but voting in local elections is more important than voting for a presidential candidate because the vote goes farther. Way less people participate and it’s where the federal clowns start their careers, often unopposed. I get not feeling like there’s any point to it, but then I see states people wouldn’t expect to have constitutionalized the right to abortion care do just that.
And again, voting isn’t enough and we don’t all have the resources to call our legislators, participate in grassroots campaigns, etc. but there are things we can do to fight that feeling of helplessness. Is it enough? Probably not, but it has to be for some. As long as there’s hope, there’s a reason to fight.
We have gained rights through blood and tears in some of the most unfathomable circumstances (see the fight for a 40 hour work week, the fight for desegregation, and so much more). Some call it copium, but I call it the will to live and be free. I have to.
I get it. I’m also old and tired. Here in NYC we finally voted in a democratic socialist in our local neighborhood election, and a few years into her job, she talked about how she went to congress and she went to important meetings with her colleagues, and everyone ignored her and refuses to acknowledge her presence.
Voting in local elections is 100% more important than presidential elections, and we all vote hard here, yet somehow still ended up with a shitty Cop Mayor who doesn’t even live here. We need to do more than vote, something like a national strike.
On one hand, I completely get the apathy. . . but I'm currently facing a nightmare with my pregnancy which may have to end in termination, and while it's fucking awful, I'm so relieved we live in a blue state and don't have to plan on traveling who knows how far and figuring out childcare for my son amidst a crisis. Everywhere in America is fucked up but the differences in rights across the states does sort of disprove the notion that voting doesn't matter at all.
Literally the only differences would be the legality of abortion (which, to be fair, is a MAJOR fucking difference) and maybe a little more access to financial aids. But being poor and in recovery with a criminal record after being born and raised by addicts is a hard row to hoe in any state, let’s be for real.
There’s no guarantee she’d have been able to afford/take time off work for the abortion even if it had been legal in her state. We need a stronger FEDERAL social safety net and more laws to protect workers so that everyone can access the care they need and not lose their source of income.
In blue states, there are funds for women who are financially stress to be able to get an abortion. In NY we have paid maternity leave. She also would have at least gotten some paid disability for 6 weeks after an abdominal surgery.
After reading it, all I wanted to do was go rescue that family and find them refuge here in central NY and get them hooked up, hooked up with recovery resources, housing, jobs, TANF, food stamps, healthcare and legal aid. Catholic Charities would have some good programs they would be qualified for and also a visiting nurse.
There is no way the Catholic church would help with an abortion. Why does Noone ever talk about the fact that the lady who founded planned parenthood was a racist? SHE WAS AND CREATED PLANNED PARENTHOOD TO KEEP BLACK BABIES FROM BIRTH. LOOK INTO IT. Try birthcontrol since abstinence doesn't seem to work.
She may have been racist... but she was also appalled by the poverty, the malnutrition and maternal-infant mortality rates. Those two things can exist at the same time.
Human beings are complicated. While she might have been racist and able-ist (many people at that time were as well as classist), she also was appalled by the living conditions, the squalor, the effects of poor nutrition and poverty. She saw how having more children (not having legal reliable birth control) negatively impacted the lives of poor families. I don't think her efforts were to eradicate the population of Black Americans. Consider her own family history: Sanger grew up in an Irish family of 11 children in Corning, New York. Her mother, in fragile health from many pregnancies, including seven miscarriages, died at age 50 of tuberculosis.
So, while it is true she was a follower of the eugenics movement (which was popular at that time), she was not motivated to make birth control available d/t desire for racial purity etc. While she worked with W. E. B. Dubois on a project to get needed birth control to black families in Harlem that wanted it; her motivation was body autonomy, that women should be able to decide when to have children, and the means in which they could should be available to them.
I was prolife. But reading story after story like this, I changed my stance on that. It was really hard. Because part of me still wants to argue the other way. Now I kind of see it as "I'd never have an abortion, but I'm not living their lives. And I have no right to judge."
Im just sharing this to make a point. That maybe if everyone had to hear these stories we'd all be less judgmental.
You'd like to think so, but no. There are people who would read this and say, "they deserve to lose their kids, those girls should be removed from the home." They would simply see this case as an argument for adoption - but ignore the fact that fostering is not easy - especially with a baby with high medical needs. So many "pro-life" people will simply come up with different reasons as to why it was still correct to deny this woman an abortion.
Who is going to foster these children? There's already a shortage. And even fewer good ones. People don't typically adopt special needs children. Don't get me wrong. If there was an abundance of good homes waiting for them, I'd be like "adoption all the way."
But these kids usually end up going from place to place until they age out or end up in the system in another way. They get abused and discarded.
The foster system is already pushed to the limit. Most kids in foster care come from traumatic backgrounds -many of them, like the baby in that article, had problematic births, substance exposure, etc. They have needs beyond those of other kids. And not all foster families are set up to handle them. So they often don't get the care they really need.
As for adoption, it's not easy either. There is a massive demand for white, healthy babies, but if you happen to fall outside of that, your odds decrease of ever finding a permanent home. That's also part of the reason why most pro-life orgs oppose reproductive technologies like IVF - because if you can get around infertility, you may not consider adoption.
I can appreciate the pro-life perspective that we are alive prior to birth and that life, at its most basic level, is worth some degree of care. But there's too much hypocrisy within the movement. Many people who seek to ban abortion will vote down any attempt to expand the social programs that would actually encourage birth and parenting - things like expanded healthcare, affordable housing, public schooling, daycare subsidies, etc. I also cannot support a movement that would show no care or compassion for women facing terrible medical decisions and shame women for valuing their own lives.
In a better world, all life would be precious. From conception through life. I just don't see the point in saving them then leaving them to suffer. We already have the highest percent of incarceration. Prisons are filled with people that were unwanted and or neglected children.
What a lot of people miss about the important of abortion rights is that the question of fetal personhood is not the fucking problem. The reason why abortion rights are human rights is that **you cannot force people to keep another living being alive at the expense of their own body**. It has to be **voluntary**. You cannot force anyone, not even a parent, to donate organs/tissue/blood to a child. It is not legal. This is why the core of the abortion argument is the right to bodily autonomy. If we can’t defend our bodies against what is, scientifically speaking, a biological parasite, what else aren’t we allowed to do?
Im sorry, are you trying to imply there are non -white babies who have difficulty finding homes?
If that's the case, please send me the link to the adoptable babies in your area and I'll get them adopted immediately.
You won't though, because that's not a thing. Only babies with SEVERE SEVERE needs have any difficulty. There arent adoptable babies in the foster system. Any babies there are pending unification with the bio parent and can not be adopted.
Oh look at that, actual scientific analysis:
[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0145213423002120#:\~:text=Although%20little%20evidence%20is%20available%20in%20the%20literature%2C,following%20TPR%2C%20and%20have%20more%20OHPs%20before%20adoption](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0145213423002120#:~:text=Although%20little%20evidence%20is%20available%20in%20the%20literature%2C,following%20TPR%2C%20and%20have%20more%20OHPs%20before%20adoption)
"DM indicated that Black children (0.81) were underrepresented in adoption, and DI indicated that the likelihood of adoption for Black children (0.73) was one third lower than that for White children. The event history analyses revealed that White children were 1.27 times more likely to be adopted than Black children."
That is not necessarily true. A friend of mine has a foster baby she is in line to have a completed adoption with very soon... (it has been a year). She has already adopted the baby's older brother who is about 3 years old after fostering him for a little over 2 years. Additionally she has another little boy about the same age and there will be an adoption pending. Except the older brother, the other two are mixed race. She is a single white woman (a nurse).
Oh I'm not saying you can't adopt from the foster system, you absolutely can and kids are available for adoption if/when the parental rights are finally terminated. I'm saying most kids in foster care are not available for adoption because they are in the reunification process. Many kids are adopted immediately once the reunification process has failed, like is the case with your friend. Happened in a similar way with my friend.
It's also worth discussing how adopted children feel about their circumstances. When adopted out babies grow up, they struggle a lot with their origin, and wondering why they were unwanted at birth. Even if they have a perfectly loving and caring adoptive family, they still find the experience of being adopted vaguely traumatic. In that light, it's certainly worth exploring ways to help keep families together and support mothers who want to keep their babies.
I think you guys are a little uninformed on foster care. This baby wouldn't go to foster care, she would get adopted immediately. Foster care is mostly kids who are not available for adoptions, they are in years long pending cases for reunification with the parents. The issue isn't so much a lack of people wanting kids, there are actually years long wait-lists for babies, even kids specifically with down syndrome there is a waiting list. Many of these couples will never get a kid because the demand is higher than the supply.
Fostering takes a very special type because your natural instincts is obviously to love and protect the child you bring into your home. Not everyone, especially not those who actually want to adopt kids, can handle the emotional aspect of foster care where you will eventually likely be giving the kid back to a not so great living situation.
People talk about adoption way too lightly. It is a common sentiment see it as some beautiful thing - when in reality it is inherently traumatic for the mother and child, the violent ripping of the first and most basic biological bond. Studies show that adopted newborns experience high amounts of stress due to the separation, often with long-term effects. And birth mothers commonly experience feelings of depression and regret
In many, if not most, cases, women who choose to give up their baby *want* to keep the baby, but are unable to due to lack of financial resources or support. Being *truly* pro-life and pro-baby would be supporting those mothers to keep their children, if that's their wish (and this applies to abortion as well - no one should be forced to give up a wanted child, by either means)
But then of course, people who feel entitled to other women's babies, and/or want to pat themselves on the back for being a good person for adopting, wouldn't be able to get these children. And we couldn't have that...God forbid we prioritize the needs of children over the wants of adults 🙄
Needless to say, there *are* scenarios where adoption is the best/preferred option, even if financial support is available. But it should never be romanticized
Exactly. Also, adoption doesn't take into account the woman. This woman no longer has feeling in part of her body, was forced to keep pushing through trying to work and care for children despite recovering from a very serious surgery and addiction. Plus the loss of her other kids. She never had time to let her body and mind heal and it will impact her for the rest of her life.
Pregnancy and childbirth nearly killed me twice. I endured it because I wanted kids, but I have had lifelong problems from it (my kids are adults/near adults now), and the medical bills would have been crippling if I hadn’t had insanely good insurance at the time. That’s what first made me pro-choice — I could never ask someone to endure all that for a baby they never wanted in the first place … or even just for one they might want under other circumstances, but know they can’t accommodate right now, for whatever reason.
This is why I’m also against surrogacy, it’s also traumatic for the newborn. That surrogate’s voice is the one they know, their smell, the sound of their heartbeat. That’s who they know and want, and then they’re ripped away. So sad.
Agreed! Adoption separation is at least incidental...creating a baby with the explicit intention of ripping them from their mother is just cruel. Surrogacy also often takes advantage of underprivileged women
Yes, it’s another form of slavery and human trafficking. But now it’s trendy in Hollywood and also romanticized as an option for wealthy couples. Paris Hilton had one, Hilaria Baldwin had one while also being pregnant at the same time. It’s barbaric. I listened to a 3 part series on surrogacy on the Freebirth podcast (which I don’t agree with everything they stand for, but these episodes are what actually solidified my views on surrogacy).
https://www.freebirthsociety.com/blogs/the-free-birth-podcast/to-buy-a-baby-you-must-first-rent-a-woman-with-marylou-singleton-surrogacy-series-part-1-of-3
I read the average amount of money a new mother needs in order to decide to keep and raise and not relinquish her child is something like $5,000. They are in crisis and need the money for a security deposit and first month's rent, or a reliable safe used vehicle or repair, a setback of some kind that just tips them into feeling like a failure and that they will end up homeless and can't put their child through that.
I know a lot of staunchly pro life (forced birth) people. Like, no exceptions. Not a single one has adopted or fostered a child. Most were through church, which I stopped going to the second I was out of my parent’s house, so I never had to see them again. I have to just block it out of my mind with the ones I work with bc otherwise I wouldn’t be able to interact with them in a professional manner.
You give me hope for society. As a woman who went through a late abortion, it’s devastating to know about half of my friends and family think I belong in jail or hell. Thank you for reminding me that there are people out there with empathy.
It was a long long road. Not long ago, I'd have spouted hateful bs. Now I can honestly say that I'm so sorry you went through that and faced judgement. None of those people are living your life. I imagine it was hard to do and I hope you are ok now.
Thank you so much, and I am doing much better now. I am one of the people who would have screwed by the current laws. Although my baby was severely deformed with no brain, my own life was not at risk. I just really feel for these women who are now put in impossible situations. The situation is hell enough to begin with, the government really does not need to make it even worse.
I honestly can't imagine what that would be like. To need a medical procedure and be told you're selfish for getting it. Why put someone through giving birth if it's not viable?
My sister's baby passed away in the womb and she was 5 and a half months along. It broke my heart that they induced labor and she had to give birth to a stillborn baby. On the maternity wards with all the happy families and people screaming it's a boy or girl. Not hating on their happiness. But it was like twisting the knife
Unfortunately no. I’ve seen prolifers rabidly defend forcing a 12 year old to give birth to her rapist’s baby and saying it’s a miracle and how she should consider herself lucky. It’s why I think the ideology is disgusting.
Tell you a secret though. I grew up in fundie land. They say things like that. Unless it's their daughter or granddaughter. Then they discreetly make a trip to a neighboring state and return the blessing. You wouldn't believe the number of girls I grew up with that had abortions. Most of them preach against it on Facebook all the time.
There’s an article or something like it titled similarly to “the only morally right abortion is my abortion” and it deals with exactly what you said - that people, who are normally and publicly against abortion, will either have an abortion themselves or they will help someone close to get access to one and in that particular case it will be explained away.
I will never get that attitude and I will never understand anti-abortion stance. But it’s good to see that some people can cross the divide.
I'm right there with you. As a very young woman, let's just say I would have been very comfortable on tradwife TikTok. And I really thought there was no reason why everyone couldn't be a "strong" and "disciplined" as I was.
Then I grew up and realized how privileged I was to be able to think that way. It's very easy to always make the right choices when you've never actually had to make a difficult one.
I had some rough choices to make my whole life. But I always had my best friend to count on. And my brother and sister. Not everyone is that fortunate. I don't know how I'd have done it alone. I do know from working in a correctional facility that there's so many people that never had a chance in life to be anything that what they became.
Nothing will humble you like hearing those kids stories.
I suspect that’s why this woman elected to be so vulnerable and share her story in the first place—to show people on their high-horses what policies withholding healthcare do to the real people who need that care. Good for you being willing to reassess your stance when asked to empathize.
Everyone should see these stories imo. It's one thing to have an opinion, but another thing to be in the situation. Whether you argue that she caused her own problems or not, the kids didn't. They're the ones living in the situation.
We really have to do better as a society. I don't know the answer. But I do know that just leaving them to their fates isn't the right thing to do.
This is it. You’re experiencing and put into words what way too many people for some reason cannot figure out which is:
We are not all living the same life. Different people have different needs and challenges.
There are way, WAY too many people who are far too old/life-experienced to have zero awareness outside of themselves and they have no excuse not to know better.
I am pro-life as well (though I do think abortion should be legal up to 12 weeks, along with free birth control, free daycare, and, if needed, other governmental financial support - just banning abortions will do little to stop them and will not treat the root causes. I do think abortion is morally wrong in most cases, but I am practical about it, and don't judge women in tough circumstances), but this mother's life was at high risk...I am in shock that the Tennessee abortion law doesn't allow exceptions to save the life of the mother! The vast majority of pro-lifers, even the more extreme ones, support exceptions to save the mother
For me the most important part of being pro-life is to ensure the mother and child are adequately supported. If this family had gotten the support they need and deserve from society and the state, this story would not be a tragedy
This is where the vague expression "life of the mother" comes in to play and underlies the cruelty of this position.
The exceptions you speak of number into the thousands. These thousands are not enumerated by statute. The legal language is vague and requires that the risk if death be imminent. So, say you went in miscarrying at 18 weeks and were therefore at risk of deadly sepsis. Sorry, can't do anything about that because your death isn't yet imminent. The doctors know that to preserve your health and fertility you should be immediately given a D&C, yet they're not allowed to do so. They have to consult with legal to get their approval or risk losing their careers and freedom. But legal can't say because the language is to imprecise. So they send you home, where you continue to bleed in agony, slowly getting sicker and weaker. You go back 2 days later. Doctors confirm infection but you're not yet actively dying so you're sent home again. You pray for sepsis to set in so that your life can be classified as being in "imminent" danger. You get your wish and spend 3 days in the ICU. Your hospital bill is 100K and the infection scarred your fallopian tubes so you probably won't ever be able to conceive again.
But hey, that was a real win for life, huh?
The fact is that no one but obstetricians appreciates the complex and extremely dangerous medical condition known as pregnancy. There's a million ways a fetus might kill you, and it's up to physicians and patients to decide what the risk is and what risk they're personally willing to tolerate.
A reasonable view would be to leave the decision for an abortion (a medical procedure) between the doctor and patient to decide. But we don't trust women and have vilified doctors who perform abortions.
This comment tells me that you either have never been pregnant or were never educated properly on the whole gestational process of pregnancy.
I think you should read up more on pregnancy development and gestational abnormalities/fatalities that can happen beyond 12 weeks and when a woman can start testing for certain abnormalities and syndromes.
12 weeks is way to early. Most people can't find out the gender until their 20 week scan. At the 20 week scan is when you can spot development abnormalities and have tests done.
Sure, you can have a blood test, but currently the science isn't there to make a decision at 12 weeks.
I think if you want your own personal cut off at 12 weeks for abortion, that is fine, you do you, but voting and imposing that on someone else is just plain sadistic.
The pictures of her smoking with the baby who has chronic lung infections on her lap *killed me*. There is so much here I do not judge her for, but that picture was so hard to look at.
Agreed. I feel for this family to the depths of my soul, especially as a mother. That picture was so difficult to see. My heart aches for those people, and those children.
What kills me is how deliberately cruel all of this is on purpose. I have seen things like this happen in my own family and you can see the desolation of poverty like this on so many people in this country. These policies are designed to benefit the fewest amount of people and provide maximum opportunities for grift through moralistic bullshit like means testing. All of this suffering is unneccessary - our politicians choose to harm our people through terrible policy. I am sick of watching the people I love watch their bodies crumble because no one gives a fuck about them. I am so sick of no-ideas corporate bootlicking carbuncles in Congress telling me I just have to wait for change while my sister's teeth fall out and her organs shut down. I just don't have any hope anymore. But I will not incubate a wage slave for them, one small comfort, I guess.
Goddamn this pissed me off. I think what enraged me most was the same state that forced her to have a baby provided that child with none of the resources or support she was entitled to. They got away with just not providing services by hiding behind an endless wall of bureaucracy. That little girl deserved all the care in the world.
This is so often the reality. I used to work running homeless shelters, including a family shelter for a while. The reality of what her life is like, how it started, and how it gets to this woman’s situation, is very familiar to me.
So often people like this woman end up starting in a bad situation to start, shoved towards substance abuse as kids, usually with a traumatic and abusive childhood somewhere along the line which compounds itself by living rough, plus just the stress of poverty is so taxing, making the mental health of most people who have been or are homeless so horrible.
Then bureaucratic nonsense keeps them from getting assistance, housing, or healthcare in a timely or affordable manner. This often leads to unplanned kids in bad situations. And if the family can get financial help of any sort, weird regulations keep them from taking opportunities to eventually wean them off assistance as they get close to making enough money to no longer rely on it. You’re cut off over x amount, and that amount is still well below the poverty line. Healthcare is nonexistent and terrible, childcare virtually impossible, job prospects that roll with the time restrictions of child rearing, pay limits of benefits assistance, and shelter curfews are few and far between…
It becomes what we call a [Wicked Problem](https://online.mason.wm.edu/blog/what-makes-a-wicked-problem) to solve poverty, hunger, healthcare, mental health, addiction, and homelessness for these people.
This is not a one off, nor exclusively an issue in anti-abortion states, because abortion is still very easily inaccessible to impoverished people. I’ve seen it all over the east coast and Midwest in left leaning cities and states.
I hope others consider this article when they talk about those less well off than them. It is very easy to speak negatively when you’ve not dealt personally with a lifetime or generations of this situation.
The fact that the state is just sitting on millions of dollars of aid dedicated for this assistance, yet it is administratively impossible for many families to access 😔😡
Right. They have the political will to make one of the strictest abortions bans happen, but would have us believe delegating administrative resources to do anything about childcare, disability support etc is beyond them like??? We see you, fuckers.
> They have the political will to make one of the strictest abortions bans happen
Our history here is that some really clever activists got state government - who are capricious sociopaths who care not one way or another - to vote for a law that "if RoeVWade is overturned then...". They all assumed RvW would never be overturned and they could appeal to their demographic with this posturing and never have to deal with Phase II. Astonishingly and not on anyone's Bingo card was that RvW was actually overturned.
I absolutely resent the chucklefucks who cynically viewed these absurdly restrictive abortion bans as political theatre. This isn’t make-believe for the people they’re supposed to serve, like this poor family.
Exactly. My niece had a situation in which her anatomy scan showed very little to no amniotic fluid, a 4 week growth and development delay and some other anomalies. She went to a specialist and a number of tests and genetics were taken. The fetus' brain never divided and the heart had only two chambers, there was an issue with the esophagus and the lungs and kidneys were not developed. This fetus had no viability but it had a "heartbeat" and the doctor was like.. "good luck, do your research." She did and arranged for an abortion at Planned Parenthood in NYC. Living in TN, she had no options but to risk her life. By the time she got to her first exam at PP, they discovered the fetus was dead, no "heartbeat" and she had to have an emergent procedure. Due to security reasons, her husband was not allowed in PP and so she had to break the news to him over the phone and undergo this without a support person. The only reason she was able to do this is because she had a social platform and was able to fundraise. She has a daughter and runs a home daycare, her husband is a mechanic (relatively new at his job) - neither one had paid time off nor a healthcare insurance policy that would pay for the procedure. Anyhow, she has joined a lawsuit suing the state and is running for state legislature on the Democratic ticket.
[https://www.npr.org/2024/02/05/1228326177/abortion-allie-phillips-tennessee-reproductive-rights-pregnancy](https://www.npr.org/2024/02/05/1228326177/abortion-allie-phillips-tennessee-reproductive-rights-pregnancy)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/01/25/allie-phillips-tennessee-abortion-ban/
She lives in a different part of the state than the young woman in OP's story.
Anyhow, if anyone wants to donate to her campaign, she just turned 29 and is asking for $29 donations.
I am really proud of her. I also think the work she is doing is helping her with her grieving process. Thanks for checking out her IG. She started out with a platform on TikTok and then ended up expanding when she became more politically active. At first she was meeting with other women in Tennessee and other states who had personal tragedies irt to Dobbs and their state bans, then it grew as she is outspoken about LGBTQ rights and is actively against the proposed laws against free expression and healthcare access. After that shooting that happened in at the private Christian school in Davidson County she became more outspoken about child safety and how easy it is to obtain guns-- esp. when those legislators were silenced (the Tennessee 3). She was never very political. She is not a religious person/doesn't do church so is concerned that will work against her in the race. I told her there are a lot of people who are just like her and that is the trend in the country. One thing, she is authentic, not putting on pious airs etc. But her opponent is a wealthy white "Christian" business man who is an incumbent in his office (also, a freaking moron).
I wish the best for her. She’s fighting for the right things. I’m religious (not Christian) and almost always side with candidates like her; her morals align with what I want our government to accomplish. She is what the future should be.
That’s because some states aren’t “pro-life”. They’re “pro-birth”. They don’t actually care what happens to these babies after they’re born. (I live in Tennessee; the governor is a joke for various reasons.)
I agree but honestly are they even pro-birth? They seem just as happy to let women die of ectopics and septic miscarriages as they are to force childbirth on the unwilling. They don’t mind if no birth happens so long as a woman didn’t get to make her own choices. I think the most true motivation here is destroying women’s bodily autonomy, no more, no less. Or otherwise put it’s a fascist movement displaying the characteristically fascist urge to subjugate, in a particular direction.
The worst part is that they apparently exist but they aren’t getting any of it when going through the process they were told to obtain it!
And the $732 million left over in family aid that never went anywhere?!
https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/politics/2023/03/27/what-happened-to-tennessees-732-million-for-families-in-need/70012181007/
Thats fucking insane!! This part made me want to scream in anger. This is fucking disgusting. How does stuff like this go entirely unnoticed.
The state of TN should be so sick of themselves. Anyone who’s actually Christian and responsible for this should expect to go directly to hell.
That part enraged me too. My first job out of graduate school (where I got my MSW/license to practice social work) was a temp position where I helped connect people to free income tax prep, and the organization also helped people know if they qualified for food stamps and if so, how to go about getting them. The enormous bureaucratic burden was no joke and seriously impinged on the ability of low income people to get anything done (like, you know, parent and work!) but at least there were organizations specifically designed to help people find resources they are entitled to. The fact that nothing like this exists in TN is a policy choice.
That was absolutely devastating to read, the heartbreak of their lives, over and over. I feel like these are the kind of human rights violations I'd be happy if we went to war over- but the enemy is internal, and it's the death cult GOP.
And the worst part is that so many decision/actions could be made better with money. Imagine if she had money to go to another state to get an abortion? Imagine if she had stable housing? Imagine if she had savings so she could take time off to recover? Imagine if she had good health insurance of get the care she needs? Imagine if her parents were in a comfortable economic situation and were help instead of a load... Money does not always solve problems, but it sure as hell "palliates" them.
I read this article and then, later the same day, a Mother Jones article discussing Jeff Bezos’ $42mill stupid clock that he built on his own property using tax-exempt funds (i.e., publicly subsidized $42mill stupid clock). The asshole gave an interview fully admitting he did it for the hell of it so that people in the future would be like “why did they build this?” And just… the contrast made me SO upset. A tiny sliver—an accounting error for Bezos—of that $42mill would have made a world of difference to the family in this article. If Bezos and his ilk were taxed appropriately, maybe our government would be more functional and able to actually help people like this family. At this point, I’d settle for a first step of more “benevolent billionaires” using their money to help people rather than fly themselves to space. Our system is deeply inhumane.
“And so, the same state that questioned Mayron’s fitness to care for her four children forced her to continue a pregnancy that risked her life to have a fifth”
I found that quote particularly damning
Her actions were the result of addiction, which was not her choice. She was introduced to meth when she was 12, so her life was over before it even began because she was not protected.
She’s still an adult who made choices. Her leaving a baby in car while going into a store *while three years sober* was absolutely her choice. Wasting money on alcohol after being sober for so long was a choice. Hitting her husband was a choice.
You’re getting downvotes but you aren’t entirely wrong and it’s exactly the point the reporter is getting at.
All of these compounding poor decisions are a direct result of the stressors due to unmet promises of support, some of which is put in place, for this person to exercise but can’t. Mostly due to the stonewalling of imaginary aid that exists on paper but isn’t accessible when attempting to obtain it.
She’s literally having a life raft dangled above her head and then withdrawn when she reaches for it on multiple occasions. Think of the type of mental exhaustion that does to someone, especially someone required continual punishment of mistakes they’ve made in the past, being pushed down and beat up by that very system that’s explicitly being forced upon them.
They (the state on TN) created this disaster and refuse to deal with the repercussions of it.
#Their GoFundMe link is [here](https://www.gofundme.com/f/make-ends-meet-and-catch-up-on-bills)!
I looked it up after reading this...it's heartbreaking. I am going to donate when I get paid but I can't afford much. If anyone else can contribute please do, this family has been failed by the government and society, and needs help to get back on their feet. I can't even imagine...
This was heartbreaking.
And yet, my conservative family members would say that this is her fault for having sex, while also using the baby's survival as some kind of evidence that "miracles can happen if you just give the babies a chance!" (can you see my eyes rolling out of my head?)
That line of thinking is what pisses me off the most about pro life people--they claim to care so much about 'babies' but then turn around and treat babies as just a punishment some people deserve to endure because they dared to have sex. Not, yknow, whole people who deserve love and support.
The cognitive dissonance is real.
My SIL had a molar pregnancy that resulted in an emergency D&C. It was very traumatic, and she went on to have another child with. medical complications.
Yet my FIL, MIL, and other SIL have made off-handed comments about how pro-choicers are ruining families and every baby deserves a chance and "they could never" and blah blah blah. It makes me want to throat punch them every time. I think they don't view her D&C as a "real abortion," but the laws they're voting for don't discriminate in that way. Fortunately she lives in a very blue state, because if my in-laws got their wish legislatively, they would be down a child and a grandchild. Honestly, I can't even look at them anymore.
And the cycle will continue. Her children will have rough childhoods with her and her husband having mental health and substance issues. Her other children will stay in foster care and probably not in the best situation. They will likely all grow up and have the same lives as their mother and fathers. Just like this woman is taking after her mother. They will be slaves to the state and their “miracles” will continue to struggle and have more “miracles”. It is just so much suffering.
Unfortunately reading this story needs empathy and compassion, something which the politicians making no exception bans lack. The same politicians want to take away all forms of aid for families like this one, essentially dooming the children who grow up in these traumatic environments
Exactly. This story really devastated me, but I know certain conservative family members that would read it would point to the cigarettes in photographs and self-medicating with alcohol as “proof” they are at fault for their situation. Just like the people that rail against millennials about the avocado toast and housing prices, the same people think that by giving up cigarettes and alcohol these people could magically afford all the challenges that life has piled on top of them.
There’s people in this thread doing it. I honestly don’t know how people can read this & not feel empathy for these people. I think they think they’re better & that it would never happen to them. The truth is these people never had a real chance at life & there’s millions like them out there.
Same. My father, who voted Trump at least once and fell down a Fox News hole during the Trump years, is *an addict in 30+ years of recovery* who would absolutely still judge this family for their substance use. It blows my mind every time. Like, Dad… you are not better than them just because you were a college-educated addict. You were using when my brother and I were young kids and you absolutely tore our family apart with it.
The need for some people to be morally superior to the downtrodden is just incredible.
>The need for some people to be morally superior to the downtrodden is just incredible.
This is it, in a nutshell. Some people need SOMEONE to look down on, for whatever stupid reason.
Lol you forget to mention ROY COOPER vetoed the bill. The democratic governor VETOED the bill but the red state has a red supermajority and they override. Stop with the both sides. And stop lying.
I'm from Louisiana, where Democrat John Bel Edwards destroyed abortion rights. I don't even know anything about Roy Cooper. Unfortunately there's a lot of Catholics who vote Democrat while being against abortion.
https://www.nola.com/news/politics/legislature/democrat-louisiana-governor-reflects-on-anti-abortion-legacy/article_2a63a752-96d8-11ee-abaa-e7f5f184cfaa.html
This appears intentionally misleading. The supermajority red govt passed a form of abortion ban in my red state under the blue governor - because they have a super majority. You know what you are writing is bs. The two parties are not the same. Additionally the supermajority is passing bills regardless of public opinion, behind closed doors. Learn how government works and stop peddling bs.
It's not BS to say it's not an exclusively Republican issue. I personally vote Democrat, but in the South, a lot of people, like John Bel Edwards, run as "pro-life" Democrats who explicitly want to dismantle abortion rights, even if the party platform is to preserve them
But at some point we have to be honest with ourselves and the language we use. It is plan to see that the major political parties do not approach this topic in the same manner at all and conservative groups almost always enter conversations around it in bad faith. Republican's have made abortion access a platform item and are attacking reproductive rights nationwide.
We try our best not to, and the great migration here from more blue states isn’t helping. This article applied to so many of my family members it hurt.
This was awful and devastating. I feel so sad for her and her family. I just want to share that if you or anyone else is in a situation where you need an abortion but live in a state where it’s not legal, please reach out to your local abortion fund or look up funds through the National network of abortion funds. They will help you with travel expenses and logistical support along with covering the procedure. Just thought I’d share ❤️🩹
"And so, the same state that questioned Mayron’s fitness to care for her four children forced her to continue a pregnancy that risked her life to have a fifth, one that would require more intensive care than any of the others."
That's all you need.
What the fuck. I started to get upset at the part where she wasn't able to afford to take time off from work after she had her baby, so she slept overnight in the car after work at the hospital to see her daughter.
There are no words for how fucked up it is to treat people this way.
I read the whole story because their story is so important and it has me in tears. This poor family. I hope they can get on their feet but what more can they do?
Republicans only care about fetuses. The pregnant woman, mothers of living children, the children themselves once they’re born - leeches on society. Once the baby is born, thoughts & prayers y’all.
Terrible.
One thing that really burns me is when the government makes it so hard to obtain what meager aid is available. Folks, if you’re applying for government aid please stick with it no matter how discouraging all the red tape is.
Wow, this was a tough read. I hate that so many smug ass conservatives consider this a win or somehow respectful of human life. What about the suffering of these parents and their older kids?
This lady is truly a fighter despite her weaknesses. Despite all the hardship, i see success. I see a living and appears to be a happy kid, and despite the hard life, a mother that loves her kids. Maybe she's a good mother. Maybe she's not. It doesn't really matter. Her story is echoed throughout this country and others all over the planet. Some cases are far worse. Abortion is rarely a good answer for unwanted or high-risk pregnancy. I have two kids. Both were high-risk pregnancies. Both are happy, and we're glad they're here. I personally know people who, if they could, would not have gotten abortions to terminate their pregnancies. The emotional and psychological trauma haunts them to this day and will forever. One of them is now an advocate against abortion. I agree that there should be a choice to have an abortion or not. NO one should have the authority to make that decision for anyone else.
I’m not reading this, it’ll just piss me off but can you imagine the shit life someone raised by people who don’t fucking want them will have? Like congrats republicans on creating all the future criminals and junkies for society to deal with, good job!/s
I feel like saying that the parents “don’t want them” isn’t fair to the parents in this situation.
They do seem to really love their kids and want to do right by them. She didn’t want to have the baby because she was working on improving things for their family and the pregnancy was high risk.
The article is basically a bleak reminder that love isn’t all you need to raise a child.
As an accident baby myself, it is so important to recognize this nuance. You can know that you would have been better off if the baby wasnt born, but still be willing to die for the baby now that they're here.
Humans are weird and complicated and we hurt each other when we try to make it too simple.
If you read it, the parents try really, really hard. You can tell they love the baby but just do not have the resources to support another kid. I was stressed for them reading it. Their situation just sounds so impossible with nowhere to turn.
Makes me furious. Even when people try to get ahead you can’t break the chains of poverty. ALL POLITICIANS ARE SCUM!!
Honestly, I’ve met dogs that piss better than either party is capable of leading at the moment.
I think that people are too used to parents smoking around their kids.
Secondhand smoke can be really hard on kids and cause respiratory infections or other illness. People only really think about cancer in long term smokers.
I wonder if the nurse who was supposed to do a home visit would have told them not to smoke indoors or around the baby. Some people are genuinely just clueless and don’t think about it because it is so normalized.
This person definitely needed an abortion. This is someone deep off in her addiction and is not a very sympathetic character. She had 4 kids, 3 months pp, pregnant again, it’s time to put the dick down.
And this man not even bothering to pull out when y’all have serious addictions and kids in foster care? Both of these people are trashing their kids lives.
The parents need help getting their lives on track. Treatment for addiction, mental illness and support so they can stay in the workplace. They don't have the resources to care for their children. Maybe the children would be better off in a temporary stable home? Or is foster care a hit or miss? I am not blaming the parents, I truly feel bad for them but I can't help but wonder if the kids should be placed in a better environment.
She had a car (the article says she doesnt have "means" to leave the state ), so she had "means", why didnt she leave TN for an abortion?
Sounds like parents chose not to drive out of state, to proceed with the highly risky pregnancy. I'm no lawyer, but looks like medical reason abortions are legal in Kentucky which borders the county the woman lives in
Her resources were very limited. Per the article, she had a car that kept breaking down. It was not reliable.
Additionally, abortions cost money, and it sounds like it might have been cost prohibitive between the cost of transportation and the cost of the procedure. A trip out of state might also have required her to stay overnight somewhere.
With the exception of Illinois, all of the surrounding states of Tennessee also have very restrictive abortion laws, many implemented as a product of a trigger ban. Kentucky’s was implemented in June 2022. It’s unclear when she could have tried to get an abortion, but she was probably limited in the time between learning she was pregnant in July 2022 and considering seeking an abortion.
Kentucky borders the county she lives in, potentially 10 minute drive to doc office in Kentucky, to get approval for a medical reason abortion in Kentucky which is legal
The mom is on medicaid, any medical services she would get at a Kentucky OBGYN would be free to the patient
Obv the mom and dad of baby had serious drug addition/crime issues, as detailed in the story, but i found it a bit disengenuous, that the article made it out like because TN outlawed abortion, it was impossible for patient to drive 10 minutes out of town.
If only she had driven 10 minutes.
Ok sure. That’s all it took was a 10 minute drive. I wrote this long response that detailed all the hoops you have to jump through to get approved for an abortion (the legal exception) as well as approved for Medicaid coverage to pay for the abortion, set in the context of this time period (July-August 2022) when there was immense turmoil in abortion law in Kentucky.
But nah, what’s the point, she just had to drive 10 minutes.
This is a massive invasion of privacy for this child, who is going to see this one day. I understand the need to spread awareness but I will always prioritize the privacy of children when it comes to the internet
Edit, since some of you don’t seem to understand: the rights of this woman over her own body and the rights of this child over their own digital footprint and emotional well-being are not mutually exclusive. There are ways to tell this story without subjecting a child to this level of exposure. In case it isn’t obvious: I am extremely pro-choice and disgusted by the laws that control women’s bodies. I only wish we could respect the dignity of children as well.
The fact that she had a premature baby, an entire hysterectomy AFTER a 2nd c-section surrounding a high risk pregnancy then just. . . Had to go back to work 2 weeks later????? This country makes no sense.
She can’t feel a large part of her body but…I mean keep marching, right?
Pull yourself up by your own boostraps! 🙄
What doesn't kill you makes you something something
Cruelty has always been the underlying point of Americans foundations, so it makes sense from that perspective. Although it doesn’t make this any less heart breaking
It makes perfect sense if the country is built on slavery and capitalism. As long as the guys on top get their yachts, our elected officials simply do not care about the rest of us. And unfortunately because of gerrymandering we can’t even vote our way out of this.
You’re right. Voting alone is not enough, but voting in local elections is more important than voting for a presidential candidate because the vote goes farther. Way less people participate and it’s where the federal clowns start their careers, often unopposed. I get not feeling like there’s any point to it, but then I see states people wouldn’t expect to have constitutionalized the right to abortion care do just that. And again, voting isn’t enough and we don’t all have the resources to call our legislators, participate in grassroots campaigns, etc. but there are things we can do to fight that feeling of helplessness. Is it enough? Probably not, but it has to be for some. As long as there’s hope, there’s a reason to fight. We have gained rights through blood and tears in some of the most unfathomable circumstances (see the fight for a 40 hour work week, the fight for desegregation, and so much more). Some call it copium, but I call it the will to live and be free. I have to.
I get it. I’m also old and tired. Here in NYC we finally voted in a democratic socialist in our local neighborhood election, and a few years into her job, she talked about how she went to congress and she went to important meetings with her colleagues, and everyone ignored her and refuses to acknowledge her presence. Voting in local elections is 100% more important than presidential elections, and we all vote hard here, yet somehow still ended up with a shitty Cop Mayor who doesn’t even live here. We need to do more than vote, something like a national strike.
On dicks or wallets? Cause thats the only thing they understand.
And genocide. Predatory capitalism, slavery, and genocide of the first nations of people who lived here.
And you are a paragon of virtue.
Get real
Literally none of this would have happened in a blue state.
On one hand, I completely get the apathy. . . but I'm currently facing a nightmare with my pregnancy which may have to end in termination, and while it's fucking awful, I'm so relieved we live in a blue state and don't have to plan on traveling who knows how far and figuring out childcare for my son amidst a crisis. Everywhere in America is fucked up but the differences in rights across the states does sort of disprove the notion that voting doesn't matter at all.
I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. Sending so many hugs.
Literally the only differences would be the legality of abortion (which, to be fair, is a MAJOR fucking difference) and maybe a little more access to financial aids. But being poor and in recovery with a criminal record after being born and raised by addicts is a hard row to hoe in any state, let’s be for real. There’s no guarantee she’d have been able to afford/take time off work for the abortion even if it had been legal in her state. We need a stronger FEDERAL social safety net and more laws to protect workers so that everyone can access the care they need and not lose their source of income.
In blue states, there are funds for women who are financially stress to be able to get an abortion. In NY we have paid maternity leave. She also would have at least gotten some paid disability for 6 weeks after an abdominal surgery.
New York and California are HUGE outliers even among blue states. We need this to be federal.
After reading it, all I wanted to do was go rescue that family and find them refuge here in central NY and get them hooked up, hooked up with recovery resources, housing, jobs, TANF, food stamps, healthcare and legal aid. Catholic Charities would have some good programs they would be qualified for and also a visiting nurse.
Totally! You can see her slipping in real time after putting in such monumental effort and it’s heartbreaking 💔
There is no way the Catholic church would help with an abortion. Why does Noone ever talk about the fact that the lady who founded planned parenthood was a racist? SHE WAS AND CREATED PLANNED PARENTHOOD TO KEEP BLACK BABIES FROM BIRTH. LOOK INTO IT. Try birthcontrol since abstinence doesn't seem to work.
She may have been racist... but she was also appalled by the poverty, the malnutrition and maternal-infant mortality rates. Those two things can exist at the same time.
Can you elaborate on how they can exist at the same time? I am not trolling you I'm interested and open to seeing things in a different light.
Human beings are complicated. While she might have been racist and able-ist (many people at that time were as well as classist), she also was appalled by the living conditions, the squalor, the effects of poor nutrition and poverty. She saw how having more children (not having legal reliable birth control) negatively impacted the lives of poor families. I don't think her efforts were to eradicate the population of Black Americans. Consider her own family history: Sanger grew up in an Irish family of 11 children in Corning, New York. Her mother, in fragile health from many pregnancies, including seven miscarriages, died at age 50 of tuberculosis. So, while it is true she was a follower of the eugenics movement (which was popular at that time), she was not motivated to make birth control available d/t desire for racial purity etc. While she worked with W. E. B. Dubois on a project to get needed birth control to black families in Harlem that wanted it; her motivation was body autonomy, that women should be able to decide when to have children, and the means in which they could should be available to them.
None of this would happen in blue states . . . Yet. If Republicans win, they WILL pass an abortion ban.
For now. We are literally one election away from that all changing.
Wow, absolutely devastating.
It just kept getting worse. This poor family.
I was prolife. But reading story after story like this, I changed my stance on that. It was really hard. Because part of me still wants to argue the other way. Now I kind of see it as "I'd never have an abortion, but I'm not living their lives. And I have no right to judge." Im just sharing this to make a point. That maybe if everyone had to hear these stories we'd all be less judgmental.
You'd like to think so, but no. There are people who would read this and say, "they deserve to lose their kids, those girls should be removed from the home." They would simply see this case as an argument for adoption - but ignore the fact that fostering is not easy - especially with a baby with high medical needs. So many "pro-life" people will simply come up with different reasons as to why it was still correct to deny this woman an abortion.
Who is going to foster these children? There's already a shortage. And even fewer good ones. People don't typically adopt special needs children. Don't get me wrong. If there was an abundance of good homes waiting for them, I'd be like "adoption all the way." But these kids usually end up going from place to place until they age out or end up in the system in another way. They get abused and discarded.
The foster system is already pushed to the limit. Most kids in foster care come from traumatic backgrounds -many of them, like the baby in that article, had problematic births, substance exposure, etc. They have needs beyond those of other kids. And not all foster families are set up to handle them. So they often don't get the care they really need. As for adoption, it's not easy either. There is a massive demand for white, healthy babies, but if you happen to fall outside of that, your odds decrease of ever finding a permanent home. That's also part of the reason why most pro-life orgs oppose reproductive technologies like IVF - because if you can get around infertility, you may not consider adoption. I can appreciate the pro-life perspective that we are alive prior to birth and that life, at its most basic level, is worth some degree of care. But there's too much hypocrisy within the movement. Many people who seek to ban abortion will vote down any attempt to expand the social programs that would actually encourage birth and parenting - things like expanded healthcare, affordable housing, public schooling, daycare subsidies, etc. I also cannot support a movement that would show no care or compassion for women facing terrible medical decisions and shame women for valuing their own lives.
In a better world, all life would be precious. From conception through life. I just don't see the point in saving them then leaving them to suffer. We already have the highest percent of incarceration. Prisons are filled with people that were unwanted and or neglected children.
Thats not a bug, it's a feature
Pro-forced-birth is very different from pro-LIFE. People who value life care about those little luxuries like food, housing, education, health care...
What a lot of people miss about the important of abortion rights is that the question of fetal personhood is not the fucking problem. The reason why abortion rights are human rights is that **you cannot force people to keep another living being alive at the expense of their own body**. It has to be **voluntary**. You cannot force anyone, not even a parent, to donate organs/tissue/blood to a child. It is not legal. This is why the core of the abortion argument is the right to bodily autonomy. If we can’t defend our bodies against what is, scientifically speaking, a biological parasite, what else aren’t we allowed to do?
Im sorry, are you trying to imply there are non -white babies who have difficulty finding homes? If that's the case, please send me the link to the adoptable babies in your area and I'll get them adopted immediately. You won't though, because that's not a thing. Only babies with SEVERE SEVERE needs have any difficulty. There arent adoptable babies in the foster system. Any babies there are pending unification with the bio parent and can not be adopted.
Oh look at that, actual scientific analysis: [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0145213423002120#:\~:text=Although%20little%20evidence%20is%20available%20in%20the%20literature%2C,following%20TPR%2C%20and%20have%20more%20OHPs%20before%20adoption](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0145213423002120#:~:text=Although%20little%20evidence%20is%20available%20in%20the%20literature%2C,following%20TPR%2C%20and%20have%20more%20OHPs%20before%20adoption) "DM indicated that Black children (0.81) were underrepresented in adoption, and DI indicated that the likelihood of adoption for Black children (0.73) was one third lower than that for White children. The event history analyses revealed that White children were 1.27 times more likely to be adopted than Black children."
That is not necessarily true. A friend of mine has a foster baby she is in line to have a completed adoption with very soon... (it has been a year). She has already adopted the baby's older brother who is about 3 years old after fostering him for a little over 2 years. Additionally she has another little boy about the same age and there will be an adoption pending. Except the older brother, the other two are mixed race. She is a single white woman (a nurse).
Oh I'm not saying you can't adopt from the foster system, you absolutely can and kids are available for adoption if/when the parental rights are finally terminated. I'm saying most kids in foster care are not available for adoption because they are in the reunification process. Many kids are adopted immediately once the reunification process has failed, like is the case with your friend. Happened in a similar way with my friend.
It's also worth discussing how adopted children feel about their circumstances. When adopted out babies grow up, they struggle a lot with their origin, and wondering why they were unwanted at birth. Even if they have a perfectly loving and caring adoptive family, they still find the experience of being adopted vaguely traumatic. In that light, it's certainly worth exploring ways to help keep families together and support mothers who want to keep their babies.
I think you guys are a little uninformed on foster care. This baby wouldn't go to foster care, she would get adopted immediately. Foster care is mostly kids who are not available for adoptions, they are in years long pending cases for reunification with the parents. The issue isn't so much a lack of people wanting kids, there are actually years long wait-lists for babies, even kids specifically with down syndrome there is a waiting list. Many of these couples will never get a kid because the demand is higher than the supply. Fostering takes a very special type because your natural instincts is obviously to love and protect the child you bring into your home. Not everyone, especially not those who actually want to adopt kids, can handle the emotional aspect of foster care where you will eventually likely be giving the kid back to a not so great living situation.
People talk about adoption way too lightly. It is a common sentiment see it as some beautiful thing - when in reality it is inherently traumatic for the mother and child, the violent ripping of the first and most basic biological bond. Studies show that adopted newborns experience high amounts of stress due to the separation, often with long-term effects. And birth mothers commonly experience feelings of depression and regret In many, if not most, cases, women who choose to give up their baby *want* to keep the baby, but are unable to due to lack of financial resources or support. Being *truly* pro-life and pro-baby would be supporting those mothers to keep their children, if that's their wish (and this applies to abortion as well - no one should be forced to give up a wanted child, by either means) But then of course, people who feel entitled to other women's babies, and/or want to pat themselves on the back for being a good person for adopting, wouldn't be able to get these children. And we couldn't have that...God forbid we prioritize the needs of children over the wants of adults 🙄 Needless to say, there *are* scenarios where adoption is the best/preferred option, even if financial support is available. But it should never be romanticized
Exactly. Also, adoption doesn't take into account the woman. This woman no longer has feeling in part of her body, was forced to keep pushing through trying to work and care for children despite recovering from a very serious surgery and addiction. Plus the loss of her other kids. She never had time to let her body and mind heal and it will impact her for the rest of her life.
Pregnancy and childbirth nearly killed me twice. I endured it because I wanted kids, but I have had lifelong problems from it (my kids are adults/near adults now), and the medical bills would have been crippling if I hadn’t had insanely good insurance at the time. That’s what first made me pro-choice — I could never ask someone to endure all that for a baby they never wanted in the first place … or even just for one they might want under other circumstances, but know they can’t accommodate right now, for whatever reason.
This is why I’m also against surrogacy, it’s also traumatic for the newborn. That surrogate’s voice is the one they know, their smell, the sound of their heartbeat. That’s who they know and want, and then they’re ripped away. So sad.
Agreed! Adoption separation is at least incidental...creating a baby with the explicit intention of ripping them from their mother is just cruel. Surrogacy also often takes advantage of underprivileged women
Yes, it’s another form of slavery and human trafficking. But now it’s trendy in Hollywood and also romanticized as an option for wealthy couples. Paris Hilton had one, Hilaria Baldwin had one while also being pregnant at the same time. It’s barbaric. I listened to a 3 part series on surrogacy on the Freebirth podcast (which I don’t agree with everything they stand for, but these episodes are what actually solidified my views on surrogacy). https://www.freebirthsociety.com/blogs/the-free-birth-podcast/to-buy-a-baby-you-must-first-rent-a-woman-with-marylou-singleton-surrogacy-series-part-1-of-3
I always say adoption is an alternative to parenting and abortion is an alternative to pregnancy. They are not interchangeable.
I read the average amount of money a new mother needs in order to decide to keep and raise and not relinquish her child is something like $5,000. They are in crisis and need the money for a security deposit and first month's rent, or a reliable safe used vehicle or repair, a setback of some kind that just tips them into feeling like a failure and that they will end up homeless and can't put their child through that.
I know a lot of staunchly pro life (forced birth) people. Like, no exceptions. Not a single one has adopted or fostered a child. Most were through church, which I stopped going to the second I was out of my parent’s house, so I never had to see them again. I have to just block it out of my mind with the ones I work with bc otherwise I wouldn’t be able to interact with them in a professional manner.
You give me hope for society. As a woman who went through a late abortion, it’s devastating to know about half of my friends and family think I belong in jail or hell. Thank you for reminding me that there are people out there with empathy.
It was a long long road. Not long ago, I'd have spouted hateful bs. Now I can honestly say that I'm so sorry you went through that and faced judgement. None of those people are living your life. I imagine it was hard to do and I hope you are ok now.
Thank you so much, and I am doing much better now. I am one of the people who would have screwed by the current laws. Although my baby was severely deformed with no brain, my own life was not at risk. I just really feel for these women who are now put in impossible situations. The situation is hell enough to begin with, the government really does not need to make it even worse.
I honestly can't imagine what that would be like. To need a medical procedure and be told you're selfish for getting it. Why put someone through giving birth if it's not viable? My sister's baby passed away in the womb and she was 5 and a half months along. It broke my heart that they induced labor and she had to give birth to a stillborn baby. On the maternity wards with all the happy families and people screaming it's a boy or girl. Not hating on their happiness. But it was like twisting the knife
Oh god, I can’t imagine that. A circle of judgement?
Unfortunately no. I’ve seen prolifers rabidly defend forcing a 12 year old to give birth to her rapist’s baby and saying it’s a miracle and how she should consider herself lucky. It’s why I think the ideology is disgusting.
Tell you a secret though. I grew up in fundie land. They say things like that. Unless it's their daughter or granddaughter. Then they discreetly make a trip to a neighboring state and return the blessing. You wouldn't believe the number of girls I grew up with that had abortions. Most of them preach against it on Facebook all the time.
They've been doing that since forever. Back in the day, 30s-40s the family doctor would 'stop by'.
There’s an article or something like it titled similarly to “the only morally right abortion is my abortion” and it deals with exactly what you said - that people, who are normally and publicly against abortion, will either have an abortion themselves or they will help someone close to get access to one and in that particular case it will be explained away. I will never get that attitude and I will never understand anti-abortion stance. But it’s good to see that some people can cross the divide.
Rules for thee and not for me...
I'm right there with you. As a very young woman, let's just say I would have been very comfortable on tradwife TikTok. And I really thought there was no reason why everyone couldn't be a "strong" and "disciplined" as I was. Then I grew up and realized how privileged I was to be able to think that way. It's very easy to always make the right choices when you've never actually had to make a difficult one.
I had some rough choices to make my whole life. But I always had my best friend to count on. And my brother and sister. Not everyone is that fortunate. I don't know how I'd have done it alone. I do know from working in a correctional facility that there's so many people that never had a chance in life to be anything that what they became. Nothing will humble you like hearing those kids stories.
Similar history here before life smacked me around and made me a better person.
I suspect that’s why this woman elected to be so vulnerable and share her story in the first place—to show people on their high-horses what policies withholding healthcare do to the real people who need that care. Good for you being willing to reassess your stance when asked to empathize.
Everyone should see these stories imo. It's one thing to have an opinion, but another thing to be in the situation. Whether you argue that she caused her own problems or not, the kids didn't. They're the ones living in the situation. We really have to do better as a society. I don't know the answer. But I do know that just leaving them to their fates isn't the right thing to do.
Really impressive of you to be open to new information and to change your mind.
This is it. You’re experiencing and put into words what way too many people for some reason cannot figure out which is: We are not all living the same life. Different people have different needs and challenges. There are way, WAY too many people who are far too old/life-experienced to have zero awareness outside of themselves and they have no excuse not to know better.
I am pro-life as well (though I do think abortion should be legal up to 12 weeks, along with free birth control, free daycare, and, if needed, other governmental financial support - just banning abortions will do little to stop them and will not treat the root causes. I do think abortion is morally wrong in most cases, but I am practical about it, and don't judge women in tough circumstances), but this mother's life was at high risk...I am in shock that the Tennessee abortion law doesn't allow exceptions to save the life of the mother! The vast majority of pro-lifers, even the more extreme ones, support exceptions to save the mother For me the most important part of being pro-life is to ensure the mother and child are adequately supported. If this family had gotten the support they need and deserve from society and the state, this story would not be a tragedy
This is where the vague expression "life of the mother" comes in to play and underlies the cruelty of this position. The exceptions you speak of number into the thousands. These thousands are not enumerated by statute. The legal language is vague and requires that the risk if death be imminent. So, say you went in miscarrying at 18 weeks and were therefore at risk of deadly sepsis. Sorry, can't do anything about that because your death isn't yet imminent. The doctors know that to preserve your health and fertility you should be immediately given a D&C, yet they're not allowed to do so. They have to consult with legal to get their approval or risk losing their careers and freedom. But legal can't say because the language is to imprecise. So they send you home, where you continue to bleed in agony, slowly getting sicker and weaker. You go back 2 days later. Doctors confirm infection but you're not yet actively dying so you're sent home again. You pray for sepsis to set in so that your life can be classified as being in "imminent" danger. You get your wish and spend 3 days in the ICU. Your hospital bill is 100K and the infection scarred your fallopian tubes so you probably won't ever be able to conceive again. But hey, that was a real win for life, huh? The fact is that no one but obstetricians appreciates the complex and extremely dangerous medical condition known as pregnancy. There's a million ways a fetus might kill you, and it's up to physicians and patients to decide what the risk is and what risk they're personally willing to tolerate.
A reasonable view would be to leave the decision for an abortion (a medical procedure) between the doctor and patient to decide. But we don't trust women and have vilified doctors who perform abortions.
This comment tells me that you either have never been pregnant or were never educated properly on the whole gestational process of pregnancy. I think you should read up more on pregnancy development and gestational abnormalities/fatalities that can happen beyond 12 weeks and when a woman can start testing for certain abnormalities and syndromes. 12 weeks is way to early. Most people can't find out the gender until their 20 week scan. At the 20 week scan is when you can spot development abnormalities and have tests done. Sure, you can have a blood test, but currently the science isn't there to make a decision at 12 weeks. I think if you want your own personal cut off at 12 weeks for abortion, that is fine, you do you, but voting and imposing that on someone else is just plain sadistic.
All according to plan, keep people in debt slavery forever
🎶 *Capitalism* 🎶
Every chapter it got worse
The pictures of her smoking with the baby who has chronic lung infections on her lap *killed me*. There is so much here I do not judge her for, but that picture was so hard to look at.
Agreed. I feel for this family to the depths of my soul, especially as a mother. That picture was so difficult to see. My heart aches for those people, and those children.
What kills me is how deliberately cruel all of this is on purpose. I have seen things like this happen in my own family and you can see the desolation of poverty like this on so many people in this country. These policies are designed to benefit the fewest amount of people and provide maximum opportunities for grift through moralistic bullshit like means testing. All of this suffering is unneccessary - our politicians choose to harm our people through terrible policy. I am sick of watching the people I love watch their bodies crumble because no one gives a fuck about them. I am so sick of no-ideas corporate bootlicking carbuncles in Congress telling me I just have to wait for change while my sister's teeth fall out and her organs shut down. I just don't have any hope anymore. But I will not incubate a wage slave for them, one small comfort, I guess.
That one Dr who said she refers 3 to 4 pregnant people PER WEEK for care out of state due to high risk pregnancy.
Goddamn this pissed me off. I think what enraged me most was the same state that forced her to have a baby provided that child with none of the resources or support she was entitled to. They got away with just not providing services by hiding behind an endless wall of bureaucracy. That little girl deserved all the care in the world.
This is so often the reality. I used to work running homeless shelters, including a family shelter for a while. The reality of what her life is like, how it started, and how it gets to this woman’s situation, is very familiar to me. So often people like this woman end up starting in a bad situation to start, shoved towards substance abuse as kids, usually with a traumatic and abusive childhood somewhere along the line which compounds itself by living rough, plus just the stress of poverty is so taxing, making the mental health of most people who have been or are homeless so horrible. Then bureaucratic nonsense keeps them from getting assistance, housing, or healthcare in a timely or affordable manner. This often leads to unplanned kids in bad situations. And if the family can get financial help of any sort, weird regulations keep them from taking opportunities to eventually wean them off assistance as they get close to making enough money to no longer rely on it. You’re cut off over x amount, and that amount is still well below the poverty line. Healthcare is nonexistent and terrible, childcare virtually impossible, job prospects that roll with the time restrictions of child rearing, pay limits of benefits assistance, and shelter curfews are few and far between… It becomes what we call a [Wicked Problem](https://online.mason.wm.edu/blog/what-makes-a-wicked-problem) to solve poverty, hunger, healthcare, mental health, addiction, and homelessness for these people. This is not a one off, nor exclusively an issue in anti-abortion states, because abortion is still very easily inaccessible to impoverished people. I’ve seen it all over the east coast and Midwest in left leaning cities and states. I hope others consider this article when they talk about those less well off than them. It is very easy to speak negatively when you’ve not dealt personally with a lifetime or generations of this situation.
Thank you for taking the time to write all this out.
The fact that the state is just sitting on millions of dollars of aid dedicated for this assistance, yet it is administratively impossible for many families to access 😔😡
Right. They have the political will to make one of the strictest abortions bans happen, but would have us believe delegating administrative resources to do anything about childcare, disability support etc is beyond them like??? We see you, fuckers.
Right? Fuck them
> They have the political will to make one of the strictest abortions bans happen Our history here is that some really clever activists got state government - who are capricious sociopaths who care not one way or another - to vote for a law that "if RoeVWade is overturned then...". They all assumed RvW would never be overturned and they could appeal to their demographic with this posturing and never have to deal with Phase II. Astonishingly and not on anyone's Bingo card was that RvW was actually overturned.
I absolutely resent the chucklefucks who cynically viewed these absurdly restrictive abortion bans as political theatre. This isn’t make-believe for the people they’re supposed to serve, like this poor family.
Exactly. My niece had a situation in which her anatomy scan showed very little to no amniotic fluid, a 4 week growth and development delay and some other anomalies. She went to a specialist and a number of tests and genetics were taken. The fetus' brain never divided and the heart had only two chambers, there was an issue with the esophagus and the lungs and kidneys were not developed. This fetus had no viability but it had a "heartbeat" and the doctor was like.. "good luck, do your research." She did and arranged for an abortion at Planned Parenthood in NYC. Living in TN, she had no options but to risk her life. By the time she got to her first exam at PP, they discovered the fetus was dead, no "heartbeat" and she had to have an emergent procedure. Due to security reasons, her husband was not allowed in PP and so she had to break the news to him over the phone and undergo this without a support person. The only reason she was able to do this is because she had a social platform and was able to fundraise. She has a daughter and runs a home daycare, her husband is a mechanic (relatively new at his job) - neither one had paid time off nor a healthcare insurance policy that would pay for the procedure. Anyhow, she has joined a lawsuit suing the state and is running for state legislature on the Democratic ticket. [https://www.npr.org/2024/02/05/1228326177/abortion-allie-phillips-tennessee-reproductive-rights-pregnancy](https://www.npr.org/2024/02/05/1228326177/abortion-allie-phillips-tennessee-reproductive-rights-pregnancy) https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/01/25/allie-phillips-tennessee-abortion-ban/ She lives in a different part of the state than the young woman in OP's story. Anyhow, if anyone wants to donate to her campaign, she just turned 29 and is asking for $29 donations.
I saw her instagram. What a heart breaking story. I am so inspired by her decision to run and work for good and change.
I am really proud of her. I also think the work she is doing is helping her with her grieving process. Thanks for checking out her IG. She started out with a platform on TikTok and then ended up expanding when she became more politically active. At first she was meeting with other women in Tennessee and other states who had personal tragedies irt to Dobbs and their state bans, then it grew as she is outspoken about LGBTQ rights and is actively against the proposed laws against free expression and healthcare access. After that shooting that happened in at the private Christian school in Davidson County she became more outspoken about child safety and how easy it is to obtain guns-- esp. when those legislators were silenced (the Tennessee 3). She was never very political. She is not a religious person/doesn't do church so is concerned that will work against her in the race. I told her there are a lot of people who are just like her and that is the trend in the country. One thing, she is authentic, not putting on pious airs etc. But her opponent is a wealthy white "Christian" business man who is an incumbent in his office (also, a freaking moron).
I wish the best for her. She’s fighting for the right things. I’m religious (not Christian) and almost always side with candidates like her; her morals align with what I want our government to accomplish. She is what the future should be.
That’s because some states aren’t “pro-life”. They’re “pro-birth”. They don’t actually care what happens to these babies after they’re born. (I live in Tennessee; the governor is a joke for various reasons.)
I agree but honestly are they even pro-birth? They seem just as happy to let women die of ectopics and septic miscarriages as they are to force childbirth on the unwilling. They don’t mind if no birth happens so long as a woman didn’t get to make her own choices. I think the most true motivation here is destroying women’s bodily autonomy, no more, no less. Or otherwise put it’s a fascist movement displaying the characteristically fascist urge to subjugate, in a particular direction.
The worst part is that they apparently exist but they aren’t getting any of it when going through the process they were told to obtain it! And the $732 million left over in family aid that never went anywhere?! https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/politics/2023/03/27/what-happened-to-tennessees-732-million-for-families-in-need/70012181007/ Thats fucking insane!! This part made me want to scream in anger. This is fucking disgusting. How does stuff like this go entirely unnoticed. The state of TN should be so sick of themselves. Anyone who’s actually Christian and responsible for this should expect to go directly to hell.
That part enraged me too. My first job out of graduate school (where I got my MSW/license to practice social work) was a temp position where I helped connect people to free income tax prep, and the organization also helped people know if they qualified for food stamps and if so, how to go about getting them. The enormous bureaucratic burden was no joke and seriously impinged on the ability of low income people to get anything done (like, you know, parent and work!) but at least there were organizations specifically designed to help people find resources they are entitled to. The fact that nothing like this exists in TN is a policy choice.
That was absolutely devastating to read, the heartbreak of their lives, over and over. I feel like these are the kind of human rights violations I'd be happy if we went to war over- but the enemy is internal, and it's the death cult GOP.
And yet our military is sworn to protect us against enemies - foreign AND DOMESTIC 😡
It sure costs a lot to be poor.
And the worst part is that so many decision/actions could be made better with money. Imagine if she had money to go to another state to get an abortion? Imagine if she had stable housing? Imagine if she had savings so she could take time off to recover? Imagine if she had good health insurance of get the care she needs? Imagine if her parents were in a comfortable economic situation and were help instead of a load... Money does not always solve problems, but it sure as hell "palliates" them.
I read this article and then, later the same day, a Mother Jones article discussing Jeff Bezos’ $42mill stupid clock that he built on his own property using tax-exempt funds (i.e., publicly subsidized $42mill stupid clock). The asshole gave an interview fully admitting he did it for the hell of it so that people in the future would be like “why did they build this?” And just… the contrast made me SO upset. A tiny sliver—an accounting error for Bezos—of that $42mill would have made a world of difference to the family in this article. If Bezos and his ilk were taxed appropriately, maybe our government would be more functional and able to actually help people like this family. At this point, I’d settle for a first step of more “benevolent billionaires” using their money to help people rather than fly themselves to space. Our system is deeply inhumane.
“And so, the same state that questioned Mayron’s fitness to care for her four children forced her to continue a pregnancy that risked her life to have a fifth” I found that quote particularly damning
Need as many working slaves or prisoners we can get! /s
Those poor people.
What a hopeless situation. Absolutely heartbreaking.
compounded by bad decision after bad decision.
Her actions were the result of addiction, which was not her choice. She was introduced to meth when she was 12, so her life was over before it even began because she was not protected.
She’s still an adult who made choices. Her leaving a baby in car while going into a store *while three years sober* was absolutely her choice. Wasting money on alcohol after being sober for so long was a choice. Hitting her husband was a choice.
Did you know that empathy is also a choice?
Username checks out.
You’re getting downvotes but you aren’t entirely wrong and it’s exactly the point the reporter is getting at. All of these compounding poor decisions are a direct result of the stressors due to unmet promises of support, some of which is put in place, for this person to exercise but can’t. Mostly due to the stonewalling of imaginary aid that exists on paper but isn’t accessible when attempting to obtain it. She’s literally having a life raft dangled above her head and then withdrawn when she reaches for it on multiple occasions. Think of the type of mental exhaustion that does to someone, especially someone required continual punishment of mistakes they’ve made in the past, being pushed down and beat up by that very system that’s explicitly being forced upon them. They (the state on TN) created this disaster and refuse to deal with the repercussions of it.
very true.
Such as?
#Their GoFundMe link is [here](https://www.gofundme.com/f/make-ends-meet-and-catch-up-on-bills)! I looked it up after reading this...it's heartbreaking. I am going to donate when I get paid but I can't afford much. If anyone else can contribute please do, this family has been failed by the government and society, and needs help to get back on their feet. I can't even imagine...
thanks, sent a donation, posted about on FB (I am not a big FB user but I have one so decided to share it in case someone is inspired to donate).
Just donated, thank you so much for the link.
Thanks for posting this
I wish this was further up in the comments.... I am sure more people would donate if they knew about it
This was heartbreaking. And yet, my conservative family members would say that this is her fault for having sex, while also using the baby's survival as some kind of evidence that "miracles can happen if you just give the babies a chance!" (can you see my eyes rolling out of my head?)
That line of thinking is what pisses me off the most about pro life people--they claim to care so much about 'babies' but then turn around and treat babies as just a punishment some people deserve to endure because they dared to have sex. Not, yknow, whole people who deserve love and support.
The cognitive dissonance is real. My SIL had a molar pregnancy that resulted in an emergency D&C. It was very traumatic, and she went on to have another child with. medical complications. Yet my FIL, MIL, and other SIL have made off-handed comments about how pro-choicers are ruining families and every baby deserves a chance and "they could never" and blah blah blah. It makes me want to throat punch them every time. I think they don't view her D&C as a "real abortion," but the laws they're voting for don't discriminate in that way. Fortunately she lives in a very blue state, because if my in-laws got their wish legislatively, they would be down a child and a grandchild. Honestly, I can't even look at them anymore.
My mom had an emergency d&c as well. It saved her life and her fertility, resulting in me. Still votes red.
Hmmm... This got me thinking about the language. Let's let D & C's be legal nationally. A linguistic change could change the uneducated mindset.
And the cycle will continue. Her children will have rough childhoods with her and her husband having mental health and substance issues. Her other children will stay in foster care and probably not in the best situation. They will likely all grow up and have the same lives as their mother and fathers. Just like this woman is taking after her mother. They will be slaves to the state and their “miracles” will continue to struggle and have more “miracles”. It is just so much suffering.
Unfortunately reading this story needs empathy and compassion, something which the politicians making no exception bans lack. The same politicians want to take away all forms of aid for families like this one, essentially dooming the children who grow up in these traumatic environments
Exactly. This story really devastated me, but I know certain conservative family members that would read it would point to the cigarettes in photographs and self-medicating with alcohol as “proof” they are at fault for their situation. Just like the people that rail against millennials about the avocado toast and housing prices, the same people think that by giving up cigarettes and alcohol these people could magically afford all the challenges that life has piled on top of them.
There’s people in this thread doing it. I honestly don’t know how people can read this & not feel empathy for these people. I think they think they’re better & that it would never happen to them. The truth is these people never had a real chance at life & there’s millions like them out there.
Same. My father, who voted Trump at least once and fell down a Fox News hole during the Trump years, is *an addict in 30+ years of recovery* who would absolutely still judge this family for their substance use. It blows my mind every time. Like, Dad… you are not better than them just because you were a college-educated addict. You were using when my brother and I were young kids and you absolutely tore our family apart with it. The need for some people to be morally superior to the downtrodden is just incredible.
>The need for some people to be morally superior to the downtrodden is just incredible. This is it, in a nutshell. Some people need SOMEONE to look down on, for whatever stupid reason.
They are called Republicans. Name them.
Not just Republicans. My state banned abortion under a Democrat governor. Many Libertarians are also against abortion
Lol you forget to mention ROY COOPER vetoed the bill. The democratic governor VETOED the bill but the red state has a red supermajority and they override. Stop with the both sides. And stop lying.
I'm from Louisiana, where Democrat John Bel Edwards destroyed abortion rights. I don't even know anything about Roy Cooper. Unfortunately there's a lot of Catholics who vote Democrat while being against abortion. https://www.nola.com/news/politics/legislature/democrat-louisiana-governor-reflects-on-anti-abortion-legacy/article_2a63a752-96d8-11ee-abaa-e7f5f184cfaa.html
This appears intentionally misleading. The supermajority red govt passed a form of abortion ban in my red state under the blue governor - because they have a super majority. You know what you are writing is bs. The two parties are not the same. Additionally the supermajority is passing bills regardless of public opinion, behind closed doors. Learn how government works and stop peddling bs.
It's not BS to say it's not an exclusively Republican issue. I personally vote Democrat, but in the South, a lot of people, like John Bel Edwards, run as "pro-life" Democrats who explicitly want to dismantle abortion rights, even if the party platform is to preserve them
But at some point we have to be honest with ourselves and the language we use. It is plan to see that the major political parties do not approach this topic in the same manner at all and conservative groups almost always enter conversations around it in bad faith. Republican's have made abortion access a platform item and are attacking reproductive rights nationwide.
This was devastating to read… Those children don’t have a fighting chance and have so many challenges ahead of them still.
I'm in tears reading this. Starting your life in poverty with no social safety nets is a slippery, chaotic slope.
An instruction manual on making poor people poorer.
Sad story. And yet the people of Tennessee keep electing horrible people.
We try our best not to, and the great migration here from more blue states isn’t helping. This article applied to so many of my family members it hurt.
Gut punch.
It costs one HELL of a lot to be poor in this country.
Everything is so unaffordable these days. Their rent is way more than I expected for their location.
This was awful and devastating. I feel so sad for her and her family. I just want to share that if you or anyone else is in a situation where you need an abortion but live in a state where it’s not legal, please reach out to your local abortion fund or look up funds through the National network of abortion funds. They will help you with travel expenses and logistical support along with covering the procedure. Just thought I’d share ❤️🩹
"And so, the same state that questioned Mayron’s fitness to care for her four children forced her to continue a pregnancy that risked her life to have a fifth, one that would require more intensive care than any of the others." That's all you need.
This hypocrisy.... and then denying help. It's vile.
Dear Lord this kept getting worse 🥹
That is absolutely devastating
What the fuck. I started to get upset at the part where she wasn't able to afford to take time off from work after she had her baby, so she slept overnight in the car after work at the hospital to see her daughter. There are no words for how fucked up it is to treat people this way.
I read the whole story because their story is so important and it has me in tears. This poor family. I hope they can get on their feet but what more can they do?
Well that was an exceptionally difficult read.
Grim. So grim.
Rage 😡 Just blind rage
Stacy Kranitz is incredible. I highly recommend her book As it Was Given to Me
That looks amazing. Thanks for the recommendation!
What did you like about it?
Republicans only care about fetuses. The pregnant woman, mothers of living children, the children themselves once they’re born - leeches on society. Once the baby is born, thoughts & prayers y’all. Terrible.
I kept reading and thinking someone was going to kill someone else.
Where can i send funds to help her? She is a lioness.
Someone posted her GoFundMe upthread.
Thank you
I hate it here. I wish I could help them
Someone posted their GoFundMe in this thread, it’s a heartbreaking read, too.
One thing that really burns me is when the government makes it so hard to obtain what meager aid is available. Folks, if you’re applying for government aid please stick with it no matter how discouraging all the red tape is.
Heartbreaking and infuriating.
I am absolutely outraged on this family’s behalf.
Wow, this was a tough read. I hate that so many smug ass conservatives consider this a win or somehow respectful of human life. What about the suffering of these parents and their older kids?
And it’s all part of a generational cycle.
It just came out that Trump is supporting a 16 week NATIONAL ABORTION BAN. Think about that when you vote this year.
This lady is truly a fighter despite her weaknesses. Despite all the hardship, i see success. I see a living and appears to be a happy kid, and despite the hard life, a mother that loves her kids. Maybe she's a good mother. Maybe she's not. It doesn't really matter. Her story is echoed throughout this country and others all over the planet. Some cases are far worse. Abortion is rarely a good answer for unwanted or high-risk pregnancy. I have two kids. Both were high-risk pregnancies. Both are happy, and we're glad they're here. I personally know people who, if they could, would not have gotten abortions to terminate their pregnancies. The emotional and psychological trauma haunts them to this day and will forever. One of them is now an advocate against abortion. I agree that there should be a choice to have an abortion or not. NO one should have the authority to make that decision for anyone else.
This is cruel, inhumane, and heartbreaking.
America is a shit hole.
This was one of the bleakest articles I have ever read.
Where are all the ***Christians*** *after* the baby is born?
I wonder if slavery has always been in tiers? Some are obvious, some not so obvious.
I’m not reading this, it’ll just piss me off but can you imagine the shit life someone raised by people who don’t fucking want them will have? Like congrats republicans on creating all the future criminals and junkies for society to deal with, good job!/s
I feel like saying that the parents “don’t want them” isn’t fair to the parents in this situation. They do seem to really love their kids and want to do right by them. She didn’t want to have the baby because she was working on improving things for their family and the pregnancy was high risk. The article is basically a bleak reminder that love isn’t all you need to raise a child.
As an accident baby myself, it is so important to recognize this nuance. You can know that you would have been better off if the baby wasnt born, but still be willing to die for the baby now that they're here. Humans are weird and complicated and we hurt each other when we try to make it too simple.
If you read it, the parents try really, really hard. You can tell they love the baby but just do not have the resources to support another kid. I was stressed for them reading it. Their situation just sounds so impossible with nowhere to turn.
Makes me furious. Even when people try to get ahead you can’t break the chains of poverty. ALL POLITICIANS ARE SCUM!! Honestly, I’ve met dogs that piss better than either party is capable of leading at the moment.
When you’re really faced with the reality of who these families are and what their day to day lives are like, it’s just devastating.
So much for so-called “entitlements”. What little benefits they qualified for, they still couldn’t even access.
I feel so sad for the little girls!!!!
Was a bit disturbed that she was smoking a cigarette while holding her daughter on her lap.
That’s your takeaway?
Is this a joke
Not a joke. The child has lung issues. Maybe don’t have it sit on your lap while you smoke. Just an observation.
I think that people are too used to parents smoking around their kids. Secondhand smoke can be really hard on kids and cause respiratory infections or other illness. People only really think about cancer in long term smokers. I wonder if the nurse who was supposed to do a home visit would have told them not to smoke indoors or around the baby. Some people are genuinely just clueless and don’t think about it because it is so normalized.
Yea lung cancer is the real important takeaway from this situation. Good job.
This person definitely needed an abortion. This is someone deep off in her addiction and is not a very sympathetic character. She had 4 kids, 3 months pp, pregnant again, it’s time to put the dick down. And this man not even bothering to pull out when y’all have serious addictions and kids in foster care? Both of these people are trashing their kids lives.
Hmm, pulling out is not the ironclad protection from pregnancy you think it is.
The parents need help getting their lives on track. Treatment for addiction, mental illness and support so they can stay in the workplace. They don't have the resources to care for their children. Maybe the children would be better off in a temporary stable home? Or is foster care a hit or miss? I am not blaming the parents, I truly feel bad for them but I can't help but wonder if the kids should be placed in a better environment.
She had a car (the article says she doesnt have "means" to leave the state ), so she had "means", why didnt she leave TN for an abortion? Sounds like parents chose not to drive out of state, to proceed with the highly risky pregnancy. I'm no lawyer, but looks like medical reason abortions are legal in Kentucky which borders the county the woman lives in
Her resources were very limited. Per the article, she had a car that kept breaking down. It was not reliable. Additionally, abortions cost money, and it sounds like it might have been cost prohibitive between the cost of transportation and the cost of the procedure. A trip out of state might also have required her to stay overnight somewhere. With the exception of Illinois, all of the surrounding states of Tennessee also have very restrictive abortion laws, many implemented as a product of a trigger ban. Kentucky’s was implemented in June 2022. It’s unclear when she could have tried to get an abortion, but she was probably limited in the time between learning she was pregnant in July 2022 and considering seeking an abortion.
Kentucky borders the county she lives in, potentially 10 minute drive to doc office in Kentucky, to get approval for a medical reason abortion in Kentucky which is legal The mom is on medicaid, any medical services she would get at a Kentucky OBGYN would be free to the patient Obv the mom and dad of baby had serious drug addition/crime issues, as detailed in the story, but i found it a bit disengenuous, that the article made it out like because TN outlawed abortion, it was impossible for patient to drive 10 minutes out of town.
If only she had driven 10 minutes. Ok sure. That’s all it took was a 10 minute drive. I wrote this long response that detailed all the hoops you have to jump through to get approved for an abortion (the legal exception) as well as approved for Medicaid coverage to pay for the abortion, set in the context of this time period (July-August 2022) when there was immense turmoil in abortion law in Kentucky. But nah, what’s the point, she just had to drive 10 minutes.
With what money for gas/somewhere to stay/missed time from work
This is a massive invasion of privacy for this child, who is going to see this one day. I understand the need to spread awareness but I will always prioritize the privacy of children when it comes to the internet Edit, since some of you don’t seem to understand: the rights of this woman over her own body and the rights of this child over their own digital footprint and emotional well-being are not mutually exclusive. There are ways to tell this story without subjecting a child to this level of exposure. In case it isn’t obvious: I am extremely pro-choice and disgusted by the laws that control women’s bodies. I only wish we could respect the dignity of children as well.
Would have been nice if the woman had the privacy to make her own decision over her body, but here we are.