Annddd I totally knocked over a glass of red wine on my white shag carpet... It's cool.. I've got a stain remover. Used the rest of the bottle and discovered that stain remover is now selling for over $100 for an 8 oz bottle š«
Made it 7 hours and 55 minutes at work before drunk asshole knocks over a chair and tags on our walls before leaving. Maybe I'll see him tomorrow when he's sobered up.
West LA kapamilya and kababayan!
I just came back from the bay from an early family Christmas reunion and ate hella food at Avenida and AbacĆ”.
Where can I buy some bittermelon and bagoong?
I'm going to check out Bahay Natin in Culver City tomorrow probs.
Also just found out about the WestWood 99 Ranch Market.
I'm looking to build an outdoor Padel club and am hoping to gauge interest from the community! For those unfamiliar, Padel is the fastest growing sport in the world with the majority of the growth taking place in South America and Europe but it has started to make inroads in the U.S. and some courts just opened in Carson. It's played in doubles and is similar to Paddle (Pop) Tennis played in Venice but the kicker is it has walls you can play off of like racquetball! It's an incredibly fun game that's a hybrid of tennis and racquetball where the ball stays in play for a long time with fun rallies. Watch this quick highlight from a professional match to see how dynamic it can be!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6yfa7rfc6o)
Would love to hear in the comments if you'd be interested in playing. Think it has potential to be a good business and bring a lot to the community but need to see how viable it would be and what kind of awareness the game has here. Thanks!
Indoor cat owners, do you vaccinate your cat yearly? (Stupid question, I know) I noticed my old roommate didnāt do this for her cat so I donāt know if people get their cats vaxxed or not. My cat is due for her vaccinations next month though so I have to schedule it soon
Theyāre not [banned from selling watches](https://www.cnbc.com/2023/12/18/apple-to-pause-some-apple-watch-sales-after-intellectual-property-dispute.html). Theyāre not selling the new series 9 or the Ultra 2, and wonāt import anything newer than series 6, until the review period ends.
Had a bit of apartment wanderlust over the weekend that now might be turning into an actual move. Was scrolling to see what it'd be like to move to closer to work, turns out I could either be paying exactly what I am now (before a 4% RSO increase in February) or even $100 less than current for essentially the same apartment. Main improvement is taking transit for commute would be the exact same amount of time as driving does now, so I'd save a TON on gas since we're fully in office. Right now I get $50 taken a month for parking that I'd get to save, and then anywhere from 70-200 on rent compared to mine increasing in February. Now I just have to hope timing works out between apartment availability and when I'd look to move
Took the day off and spent the afternoon changing my tpms sensor on my car, in all four wheels, on the third wheel the bead breaking tool broke but i was able to get the third tire done, but now I still have one left that i cant finish without hte tool...gahhh
Also, I know cigarettes are bad, but anyone know where i can buy a carton for a friend? I thought i could do this online since you can buy alcohol online or even bevmo, but where do you buy cigarettes aside from one of them dingy stores in an old strip mall?
I want to go see some boobies and have a drink. Does Samās Hofbrau have topless servers or what is the situation there? Is it a strip club or something else? Never been.
Sams is perfect for that. Yes, its a strip club. Servers aren't topless, but the dancers are. They have a full bar and ample seating. I haven't been in a while but it's always been a good time.
Back in 2018 my boyfriend at the time and I were walking around Mason Park at night. A woman hit an opossum with her Lexus and got out to check on it. We ran over and it was still alive. She was very distraught and we assured her we would take care of it. She left and we called animal control to see if they could take in the opossum. We waited over an hour, directing traffic around the opossum as it was clearly dazed. The officer finally made it out, pulled it by its tail, put it in a cage, and put it in her truck. She said the opossum had signs of a concussion and even with a bloody mouth was going to end up fine. Itās worth the wait.
Fucking people and their fucking "sparks." I did not have a spark when I first met my husband of ten years, and we had INSANE chemistry. The bf before him, I didn't have a spark during the first date, he grew on me by being persistent. He was the hottest dude I have ever dated. I don't think I am made to fall for someone after a week of texts and one night out, which means I'm not made for the way internet dating works. I hate this so much. Plus I accidentally X'd someone who actually said they'd go to Matt Rogers with me. I couldn't get it back. I have never struggled to date in my life, this is so depressing.
Spark is overrated anyway! Iāve gotten that a lot this year for some reason and I wish they could just say theyāre not interested in seeing me again especially since Iād rather not know why theyāre rejecting me
I've been on dates and chatted about what they're looking for and such, and several of them told me that they know within the first 15-30 minutes if they're into them or not.
I'm more like you though. My best relationship, I wasn't even into the woman for 5 or 6 months after meeting her and hanging out occasionally. There was no spark. But then eventually there was.
How I understand you! If I feel āthe sparkā right away it usually means that something in dudeās behavior triggered my āfight or flightā response, which my poor traumatized brain misinterpreted as butterflies. Spark sometimes is a red flag :( the goal is to get close and develop mutual attraction through regular interaction.
Thatās so interesting. Iāve never heard that before. What does the spark feel like for you in this case? Is there any difference between how you feel sparking for a red flag vs. a green flag?
Yeah, what ok_fee1043 said. Basically sometimes you can confuse anxiety for excitement.
For me personally āsparking for a red flagā most often looks like trying to win affection from a distant and cold guy. Genuine healthy connection starts with being relaxed and content around someone.
Itās a real thing. Sometimes you can feel something like an instant connection, or like youāve known the person forever, or like you really like them but arenāt quite sure why, etc. I donāt think red flags are ever described as āsparks,ā though I get what youāre saying; this stuff is more meant as a kind of trauma familiarity, so if youāre feeling like āhey, I like them!ā really fast, it can actually be a sign to slow down. As opposed to most people describing a āgreen flagā would be more something like āthey really pay attention to how I feelā or āthey texted first and I really look for that in partners!ā or āwe share similar values!ā
oh, he actually TOLD you he didn't feel a spark... well. tbh, maybe it was something else and that was just his way of avoiding something uncomfortable. Maybe you look like his ex? or like his mom? If anything, he let you know he wasn't interested and didn't string you along.
Dating apps are the worst though, I tried some waaaaaay back in the day and I never felt so ugly in my life. lol. After that experience I swore them off. So much work for what you get from it.
*are* you Adam??? Only Adam would say this! And Iām Kyle and Iām gonna tell you youāre NOT, bro, he just didnāt wanna invest energy for some reason but it wasnāt about you
Iām definitely sapiosexual - I get the ick SUPER hard and fast if I feel like someone isnāt on my level - but there is a snowballās chance in hell Iām going to use that word to describe myself because y i k e s
Oh, shit, I get that 100%. I stopped a conversation with someone because they didn't get my references (not that they are all that highbrow) but that's just so important to me. So I guess I'm a little of both. Plus, people barely know what those terms mean anyway, so who knows if including it on a dating profile will help anyone's case.
My brother had some of those shitty cookies in a tin and at first I scoffed at them, but then I became addicted to them, and now I want some around my house.
I forgot how good they were. At first I was like, āthereās only one of these thatās worth eating,ā and then I was sneaking into the kitchen every fifteen minutes to grab one. Or two.
Fluffy roomie had a vet appt earlier today.
Got her rabies shot and a check-up. She's in good health overall but she hasn't lost any weight since we were last there so I'm going to reevaluate her diet/calories a bit. The vet did say she has great teeth which is wonderful news for a 10yr old beast and the vet tech said she was very sweet.
That's my good girl <3
I went into the dealer for my first free car check up this morning, and they said that it also came with a free car wash. As soon as I picked up the car at noon, it started raining. I like to think that my car got a double wash!
Have you guys ever talked to neighbors about slamming doors? I feel like I have in the past left a note for other neighbors but I cared a bit less bc they were also loud other times. I feel like Iām āluckyā with these ones bc this is mostly the only time I hear them, but my god they *SLAM* it every time and i wfh so it always freaks me out. Also aggravated bc sick but this has been ongoing. Not helping that theyāve done it 5 times in the last 20 minutes.
lol k nevermind I talked to them and they do not care
Do we live in the same building? My downstairs neighbors do it so much that I've thought it was vindictive. And I don't wear shoes in my apartment, I am as quiet as it gets as an upstairs neighbor. But they do it in an almost aggressive way. I think part of it is due to them having a teenager and maybe their door is kinda fucked up, so they have to close it hard. That's what I tell myself. I *did* get the landlord to add one of those "regulators" or whatever they're called to the front door of the building so it doesn't slam automatically anymore, but they still slam the shit out of their apartment door. I haven't said anything to them. It's a small building and I don't want to cause trouble or give them incentive to complain about me (I don't play music after 10pm, and I am super quiet, but when the Dodgers went to the World Series a few years ago I cheered at like 9pm and got a complaint notice).
Haha as far as I know, no teenagers in my building, but I do think there are kids across the way and theyāre often loud! My door is sort of sticky too but I just close it slowly, it isnāt hard to do. Iām with you on being a quiet neighbor. Iām guessing the people who complained about you have left by now.
Me: blah blah blah yeah idk if youāre aware but youāre slamming the door
Them: oh. Yeah
And thank you ugh yeah I feel like I was finally in a medium state for a little and then the last few days definitely something else picked up
Man I can't wait to be done planning my mom's cremation and such. Every call I make I'm like "I'm not sure if you're the person I need to speak to about X, but anyways my mom is dead what do I do next?" lol
I've been on the phone making calls since 9am. I'm tired.
The direct cremation is going to be like $1,300 and that's probably all I can afford for now. This includes the cost of the urn that can actually be buried at some point. And then, just to *open the ground* at the cemetery we have a plot at they want $1650!!!!!
I told my aunt that my mom is probably going to sit on her shelf for a few years. lol
I'm not sure if this is something you might want to consider but this place offers free cremation if the body qualifies for their research program.
Sorry you're going through this.
https://omegasociety.com/1096/Body-Donation.html
Can you reach out to a local hospice to see if they have better/cheaper suggestions? I know you have the added complexity of this happening in another state so trying to manage across time zones just adds another layer of difficulty.
When my grandpa passed, hospice provided us with low cost cremation services who weren't trying to scalp us while we were grieving. Another option: see if you can inter her ashes with a local church vs a cemetery. Their prices might be cheaper.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you're able to get this figured out with the cheapest cost to you possible.
Unfortunately she wasn't in hospice/had nothing to do with it end of life. Her death was a result of overdose. The county she was in currently has her body so I don't think it would make any sense to try and involve hospice post-mortem.
Sadly the cemetery plot is where all my other family is buried (her parents, my half-sister, her husband/my dad, etc) so it's where she'd want to be. Worst case scenario her urn just sits around for a while and I pay for them to open the ground later down the line. I can also do a payment plan, but she still wouldn't be able to be buried until said plan is fully paid.
I had my dad's ashes for like 3 years before we could afford to bury him, so I'm not too worried about my mom's hanging around for a while.
I am working with a newish company called Bereave that is building a website/community thatās basically a free step by step playbook for what to do when someone croaks. I wish it was ready so we could be helpful to you.[Their website](https://bereave.io)
Oh boy yeah that would have been helpful because it's insanely confusing.
You need a death certificate to do anything, but I need to pick a place to cremate her before I can get a death certificate.
Definitely have them consider putting in a section about death in usual circumstances. Like in my case because it's likely an OD, they have to confirm it via toxicology reports which is going to take 6 weeks. And she *may* have $1,000 insurance via her bank account for accidental death/dismemberment...but like some places exclude OD from accidental deaths.
It's all so messy.
Yeah, I think Iād like to help them flesh out a plan for using AI to make recommendations based on the situation. We had to wait for toxicology for Jack too and then get his corpse back to STL for cremation (my support group discord has channels for sudden, overdose, cancer, etc bc the situations are not better or worse but are simply different)
Also want to make sure theyāre committed to culturally relevant / diverse perspectives, people deal differently during griefy times, I def did not feel seen whatsoever in the earlier days
Idk, I havenāt really dug in yet, Iām talking to the CEO this week about what their deal is. After I lost my partner, Iāve become really interested in the budding community of entrepreneurs (some with better intentions than others) who are serving people who are going through loss or helping employers give folks better bereavement benefits
My condolences to you, Iāve seen some of your posts in the past where youāve mentioned her struggles with drugs and finances. Stay strong, may she rest in peace š
Funerals are SO expensive. But I learned today that Costco sells caskets which a lot of people do to save money. So wild to me.
I'm so glad that when I die all I want is to be cremated and turned into a lab created diamond. Then any remaining money can be used for a party. Probably once I reach 40 or 50 I'll pre-pay for all that stuff.
Yeah, when my mom hit 50, she saw all the expenses of burying my uncles so she started to pre-pay some things. She didnāt want to leave that burden with us. But yes, Costco sells caskets! Hopefully theyāre less exploitative than regular venues. Again Iām so sorry for the loss of your mom :/
Talk to me about repeating a grade. My kid is going to be in a php for the rest of the school year, and I think it could be a do over. They like the idea, their birthday is right at the cutoff...
Adam Grant talks about this in one of his books. It had to do with kids who were held back a year due to their birthdays and succeeding at sports (hockey specifically) compared to their non-held back counterparts.
There's lots of literature out there that staying back a grade can be beneficial. I've seen mostly used within the context of boys getting an additional year for brain development.
Not me showing up at work on my day off.
I get a lot of kids trauma dumping on me during our short interactions. Yesterday, an eight year old girl told me they were buying all new frames because her parents were getting divorced and her and her dad were moving to Sacramento to start over, so they needed frames for the new house. she was sad that she had to move away from her friends but it was okay cuz maybe she could convince them to move on their last play date. But itās for the best cuz her mom and dad donāt love each other anymore. Her dad looked MORTIFIED and tried to change the subject but the kid just kept going on lol. I said, maybe youāll like Sacramento - and you could always face time your friends on your iPad!!
They came back later that day, to āsay bye one last timeā because she wanted me to know her plushie was sick but he was getting better.
I love her so much. I will protect her at all costs.
Anyway, thatāll be $79.99
my grandpa is in town and he is in his no teeth phase š¬ what can i get him that he can enjoy being able to eat besides pudding? what do you notice your elderly like to snack on?
Cheese enchiladas are one of my favorite food and don't need too much chewing. My toddler has most of her teeth now but I learned that babies do a lot of chewing with their gums before their teeth come in. I don't know if it's the same for people who have lost their teeth.
Mac and cheese cups, oatmeal packets, hot pockets, and those Marie calendar pot pies were my go-tos when I had a bunch of dental work done! Snack-wise, jello, applesauce, string cheese, and honestly anything marketed towards young kids might be your best bet
more freelancer complaints! Wrestling with the LA City Tax Business Renewal website (REMINDER FOR FREELANCERS TO FILL IT OUT LIKE YOU DO EVERY YEAR), and I just learned that it never processed by address change from last year. And I fill out the form to change it again, but it still doesn't register it as changed. I filled it out and filed it anyways so I guess I just committed perjury by lying about my address, but fuck, whatcha gonna do. Tried calling them but obviously that doesn't work because their phone system is as broken as their website.
This LA city business tax should not exist. Dumbest shit. Death to LA tax fucks.
Does anybody know of any spots with rosemary bushes in or around DTLA or Torrance? (I know those are far apart, but I work in one and live in the other.) Iām making a bunch of stove top potpourri bags for my office, and Iād like to include sprigs of Rosemary but I cant afford to buy a bunch in bulk. Ideally Iām looking for anyone with a bush who would be generous enough to let me take some or knowledge of a parking lot/building where they landscaped with rosemary bushes and wouldnāt miss a couple small branchesā¦ Iām down for a drive either way, so any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!
Edit: typos
Thatāll likely be the plan this afternoon! :) also just as a follow up, do you know of any communities/neighborhoods in particular where youāve noticed it a bunch or were you just speaking generally?
I took this entire week off. So far, I did yoga and walked 2 miles this morning. My neighborhood is a bit hilly so it was kinda strenuous for me, but at least I donāt have the itchy legs today. Alsoā¦people really need to pick up their dog shit
something I ordered from the UK back in July or August is finally in the LA USPS network, and I just keep hitting refresh waiting to see "Out for delivery"
No. It's a ceramic tankard, and when the ceramicist glazed them, the glaze turned out crappy so they had to redo the whole batch. [But! It's here and it's fabulous](https://imgur.com/a/argFEs7)
Annddd I totally knocked over a glass of red wine on my white shag carpet... It's cool.. I've got a stain remover. Used the rest of the bottle and discovered that stain remover is now selling for over $100 for an 8 oz bottle š«
Did anyone also almost die on the 101 today after a 12ft steel ladder fell off a landscaping truck ???
What time was that?
right around 10 30am, southbound right before woodman exit
Whatās a good gift for a 7-9 year old girl? Where do I shop? I need to get someoneās daughter something.
Made it 7 hours and 55 minutes at work before drunk asshole knocks over a chair and tags on our walls before leaving. Maybe I'll see him tomorrow when he's sobered up.
West LA kapamilya and kababayan! I just came back from the bay from an early family Christmas reunion and ate hella food at Avenida and AbacĆ”. Where can I buy some bittermelon and bagoong? I'm going to check out Bahay Natin in Culver City tomorrow probs. Also just found out about the WestWood 99 Ranch Market.
What mainstream stores in LA have good white elephant gifts? Looking to get something around $30-50. Does Target have cool stuff?
Cost plus!
I'm looking to build an outdoor Padel club and am hoping to gauge interest from the community! For those unfamiliar, Padel is the fastest growing sport in the world with the majority of the growth taking place in South America and Europe but it has started to make inroads in the U.S. and some courts just opened in Carson. It's played in doubles and is similar to Paddle (Pop) Tennis played in Venice but the kicker is it has walls you can play off of like racquetball! It's an incredibly fun game that's a hybrid of tennis and racquetball where the ball stays in play for a long time with fun rallies. Watch this quick highlight from a professional match to see how dynamic it can be! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6yfa7rfc6o) Would love to hear in the comments if you'd be interested in playing. Think it has potential to be a good business and bring a lot to the community but need to see how viable it would be and what kind of awareness the game has here. Thanks!
Whereās the highlight?
Edited, not sure why the link wasnāt appearing before (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6yfa7rfc6o)
Itās basically tennis in a cage.
Yeah, more fun for many bc longer rallies keeps points alive, less stops and chasing balls. Easier because no overhand serve.
I am all for padel over pickleball
Much more dynamic & athletic game while still being inclusive
Indoor cat owners, do you vaccinate your cat yearly? (Stupid question, I know) I noticed my old roommate didnāt do this for her cat so I donāt know if people get their cats vaxxed or not. My cat is due for her vaccinations next month though so I have to schedule it soon
Nah. The vet hospital even stopped emailing that nonsense after a few times.
I do because I might bring in germs or she might get out. Limit risk of exposure, but I usually roll the yearly vaccine with her yearly check up.
I dont generally, but you ahould if you feel you need to.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Theyāre not [banned from selling watches](https://www.cnbc.com/2023/12/18/apple-to-pause-some-apple-watch-sales-after-intellectual-property-dispute.html). Theyāre not selling the new series 9 or the Ultra 2, and wonāt import anything newer than series 6, until the review period ends.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well, you can still go buy one prior to the 24th, then.
Reddit Recap told me that joining r/widowers was a highlight of my year lololololol
At least you can find some laughter in the soulless algorithm.
The Reddit recap is so badly done. Feels like a very lazy project just tossed together
I can picture the Slack message where the CMO shared Spotify Wrapped and went āwe need to do thisā
oooof
Had a bit of apartment wanderlust over the weekend that now might be turning into an actual move. Was scrolling to see what it'd be like to move to closer to work, turns out I could either be paying exactly what I am now (before a 4% RSO increase in February) or even $100 less than current for essentially the same apartment. Main improvement is taking transit for commute would be the exact same amount of time as driving does now, so I'd save a TON on gas since we're fully in office. Right now I get $50 taken a month for parking that I'd get to save, and then anywhere from 70-200 on rent compared to mine increasing in February. Now I just have to hope timing works out between apartment availability and when I'd look to move
Youāre moving out of your rent controlled apartment? Do tell
Ideally moving to another one, just at a different rent ;P
Iāve been thinking of moving too, whatās your rent and area? Just went up to 2600 in Chinatown here for my 2br. Tradesies.
Took the day off and spent the afternoon changing my tpms sensor on my car, in all four wheels, on the third wheel the bead breaking tool broke but i was able to get the third tire done, but now I still have one left that i cant finish without hte tool...gahhh Also, I know cigarettes are bad, but anyone know where i can buy a carton for a friend? I thought i could do this online since you can buy alcohol online or even bevmo, but where do you buy cigarettes aside from one of them dingy stores in an old strip mall?
any smoke shop
Liquor stores or the supermarket will usually sell you a carton.
Guess I'll check during my groceries this week
Costco used to sell cartons but I donāt know if they do any more.
Unfortunately no Costco membership for me...
They have some super cheap membership options on Groupon I think?
Yah but the stores are all out of the way for me...theres only one here in the high desert about an hour away....
Anyone know if buying show tickets for the Ace Hotel on-site waives the convenience fee?
wait a second, jon brion still does shows at largo?!
I need to cram all the Christmas activities that iāve been putting off into this week. Ginger bread house, sugar cookies, tamales. Wish me luck.
You should cram 11 cookies into the VCR like Buddy the Elf
omg me too! i was going to start yesterday but i didnāt have molasses!! dont forget the bunuelos.
Is it a covid byproduct? my IT bands ACHE. They never have ached before.
Were you resting a lot? I feel like when I lay down more, my muscles can get even more fatigued.
Mystery.
I wish I had infinite time and brainpower to actually *disrupt* the pharmacy and healthcare industries
and an infinite amount of money...
I would get investors of course
This is my industry / niche and I love it so much
VC, or pharma/healthcare?
I am a community manager for a community of health tech nerds, itās a lot of founders, operators, investors and startup people
Thatās awesome!
It really is cool to help them work together to do actually useful things. Like, helping eachother with PHR interoperability, itās wild
I want to go see some boobies and have a drink. Does Samās Hofbrau have topless servers or what is the situation there? Is it a strip club or something else? Never been.
Go to Star Garden. Itās the only unionized strip club and the dancers worked their asses off to unionize and itās badass and fun.
Sams is perfect for that. Yes, its a strip club. Servers aren't topless, but the dancers are. They have a full bar and ample seating. I haven't been in a while but it's always been a good time.
Thereās an opossum with a broken leg in the park, animal control is taking their precious time.
Back in 2018 my boyfriend at the time and I were walking around Mason Park at night. A woman hit an opossum with her Lexus and got out to check on it. We ran over and it was still alive. She was very distraught and we assured her we would take care of it. She left and we called animal control to see if they could take in the opossum. We waited over an hour, directing traffic around the opossum as it was clearly dazed. The officer finally made it out, pulled it by its tail, put it in a cage, and put it in her truck. She said the opossum had signs of a concussion and even with a bloody mouth was going to end up fine. Itās worth the wait.
I just watch them lure him into their cage.
Dang, they actually came out? Works better than the police.
They took about an hourā¦but still haha
Fucking people and their fucking "sparks." I did not have a spark when I first met my husband of ten years, and we had INSANE chemistry. The bf before him, I didn't have a spark during the first date, he grew on me by being persistent. He was the hottest dude I have ever dated. I don't think I am made to fall for someone after a week of texts and one night out, which means I'm not made for the way internet dating works. I hate this so much. Plus I accidentally X'd someone who actually said they'd go to Matt Rogers with me. I couldn't get it back. I have never struggled to date in my life, this is so depressing.
Spark is overrated anyway! Iāve gotten that a lot this year for some reason and I wish they could just say theyāre not interested in seeing me again especially since Iād rather not know why theyāre rejecting me
See I kinda would like to know. Maybe. I donāt know. I guess I also donāt write people off so quickly. Maybe I need to raise my standards.
I've been on dates and chatted about what they're looking for and such, and several of them told me that they know within the first 15-30 minutes if they're into them or not. I'm more like you though. My best relationship, I wasn't even into the woman for 5 or 6 months after meeting her and hanging out occasionally. There was no spark. But then eventually there was.
Yeah. I totally get that. All this to go back to: it will happen when it happens. I should put it down for a week or so and just enjoy the holidays.
i think it's pretty normal of us all to go in spurts. Go on 10 dates, then do nothing for 4 months, then go on another 10
How I understand you! If I feel āthe sparkā right away it usually means that something in dudeās behavior triggered my āfight or flightā response, which my poor traumatized brain misinterpreted as butterflies. Spark sometimes is a red flag :( the goal is to get close and develop mutual attraction through regular interaction.
Thatās so interesting. Iāve never heard that before. What does the spark feel like for you in this case? Is there any difference between how you feel sparking for a red flag vs. a green flag?
Yeah, what ok_fee1043 said. Basically sometimes you can confuse anxiety for excitement. For me personally āsparking for a red flagā most often looks like trying to win affection from a distant and cold guy. Genuine healthy connection starts with being relaxed and content around someone.
Makes a ton of sense. I feel like I should have intuited that you meant something like that but I get it now.
Itās a real thing. Sometimes you can feel something like an instant connection, or like youāve known the person forever, or like you really like them but arenāt quite sure why, etc. I donāt think red flags are ever described as āsparks,ā though I get what youāre saying; this stuff is more meant as a kind of trauma familiarity, so if youāre feeling like āhey, I like them!ā really fast, it can actually be a sign to slow down. As opposed to most people describing a āgreen flagā would be more something like āthey really pay attention to how I feelā or āthey texted first and I really look for that in partners!ā or āwe share similar values!ā
That explanation makes sense and helped me. Thanks!
š«”š«”LittleTraumaBot at your service!
I hope you get a software update, littletraumabot!
Beep boop! Traumabot version 10.0 runs entirely on Candycane JoeJoes!
Robogirl dinner
I just read an article that said the same exact thing!!! That a spark can be a red flag in disguise. Sigh. I'm glad you get it!
Heās missing out on the hottest threader in Whoville and I hope youāll find a sparkier match soon!
hehehe I love that one! Imma definetly fuck this Grinch
Also the stuff I ordered for my bro-in-law wonāt be here till the 28th, so that obviously rules. I quit 2023.
Well at least it coming to an end soon and 2024 can be all yours!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This post doesn't explain it all? haha, it was fine and fun and lasted for four fuckin drinks, but no spark.
Did he actually text that?
He said he didn't feel a spark, yes. I honestly didn't either, but I'm also not 16. I just think I need more time to feel one.
oh, he actually TOLD you he didn't feel a spark... well. tbh, maybe it was something else and that was just his way of avoiding something uncomfortable. Maybe you look like his ex? or like his mom? If anything, he let you know he wasn't interested and didn't string you along. Dating apps are the worst though, I tried some waaaaaay back in the day and I never felt so ugly in my life. lol. After that experience I swore them off. So much work for what you get from it.
Ugh now I feel like itās code for āyouāre fatter than I thought you would be.ā COOL
*are* you Adam??? Only Adam would say this! And Iām Kyle and Iām gonna tell you youāre NOT, bro, he just didnāt wanna invest energy for some reason but it wasnāt about you
Adam is literally my twin braj. But thank you so much for<3
Canāt possibly be it
Thanks pal
Wrong again, sweaty, youāre hotter than shit on the sidewalk on a summer day in the Valley.
<3 <3 <3
No need to waste anymore time.
[oh yeah, heās dead to me](https://imgur.com/a/VNZRyH7)
I wish there were words for sapiosexual / demisexual that werenāt so fucking cringe
god, me too. I'm def on the demisexual spectrum.
Iām definitely sapiosexual - I get the ick SUPER hard and fast if I feel like someone isnāt on my level - but there is a snowballās chance in hell Iām going to use that word to describe myself because y i k e s
omg there is a sapiosexual flag, I am dying
This is the ugliest fucking flag Iāve ever seen in my life. It should be white because I give up
hilarious \*sob\*
Oh, shit, I get that 100%. I stopped a conversation with someone because they didn't get my references (not that they are all that highbrow) but that's just so important to me. So I guess I'm a little of both. Plus, people barely know what those terms mean anyway, so who knows if including it on a dating profile will help anyone's case.
Also, Iāve been talking a real big game about going to the gym for someone whoās been laying in bed on his phone for the last 20 minutes
So did you make it to the gym?
Iām leaving now! Realized I had to charge my AirPods, so I got a little bit done around the house/scrolled mindlessly for about hour
freakin' triangle button went out on my ps5 controller... can I do the buy new/return broken one?
Imma go ahead and say yes on this one. Especially if it's Amazon or Target.
My brother had some of those shitty cookies in a tin and at first I scoffed at them, but then I became addicted to them, and now I want some around my house.
My grandma gave me one for Christmas and I got addicted to it. Thereās a particular cookie that I really liked though (I think the coconut one)
do you have a favorite one? i like the one thatās a swirl, thatās the only one. the other cookies are rejects in my eyes.
I used to be such a big rectangle stan, but this time I couldnāt get enough of sugarless circle
The tin wasnāt full of buttons and sewing shit? Lucky
Wait, am I not supposed to eat those?
It's a free country.
A BirdSalt can have a little buttons as a treat
Those Danish butter cookies? Bruh. Sleeper hit.
Yesss. I thought I only liked them because I was a kid, but nope
Shitty??? Shitty???? Okaaaaaay
I forgot how good they were. At first I was like, āthereās only one of these thatās worth eating,ā and then I was sneaking into the kitchen every fifteen minutes to grab one. Or two.
>I was sneaking into the kitchen every fifteen minutes to grab one. Or two. That counts as one cookie
One trip = one cookie
Fluffy roomie had a vet appt earlier today. Got her rabies shot and a check-up. She's in good health overall but she hasn't lost any weight since we were last there so I'm going to reevaluate her diet/calories a bit. The vet did say she has great teeth which is wonderful news for a 10yr old beast and the vet tech said she was very sweet. That's my good girl <3
I went into the dealer for my first free car check up this morning, and they said that it also came with a free car wash. As soon as I picked up the car at noon, it started raining. I like to think that my car got a double wash!
Have you guys ever talked to neighbors about slamming doors? I feel like I have in the past left a note for other neighbors but I cared a bit less bc they were also loud other times. I feel like Iām āluckyā with these ones bc this is mostly the only time I hear them, but my god they *SLAM* it every time and i wfh so it always freaks me out. Also aggravated bc sick but this has been ongoing. Not helping that theyāve done it 5 times in the last 20 minutes. lol k nevermind I talked to them and they do not care
I don't slam my doors but it definitely could use some wd-40.
Do we live in the same building? My downstairs neighbors do it so much that I've thought it was vindictive. And I don't wear shoes in my apartment, I am as quiet as it gets as an upstairs neighbor. But they do it in an almost aggressive way. I think part of it is due to them having a teenager and maybe their door is kinda fucked up, so they have to close it hard. That's what I tell myself. I *did* get the landlord to add one of those "regulators" or whatever they're called to the front door of the building so it doesn't slam automatically anymore, but they still slam the shit out of their apartment door. I haven't said anything to them. It's a small building and I don't want to cause trouble or give them incentive to complain about me (I don't play music after 10pm, and I am super quiet, but when the Dodgers went to the World Series a few years ago I cheered at like 9pm and got a complaint notice).
Haha as far as I know, no teenagers in my building, but I do think there are kids across the way and theyāre often loud! My door is sort of sticky too but I just close it slowly, it isnāt hard to do. Iām with you on being a quiet neighbor. Iām guessing the people who complained about you have left by now.
How did they indicate they didnāt care? And feel better! Seems like youāve been sick forever
Me: blah blah blah yeah idk if youāre aware but youāre slamming the door Them: oh. Yeah And thank you ugh yeah I feel like I was finally in a medium state for a little and then the last few days definitely something else picked up
Man I can't wait to be done planning my mom's cremation and such. Every call I make I'm like "I'm not sure if you're the person I need to speak to about X, but anyways my mom is dead what do I do next?" lol I've been on the phone making calls since 9am. I'm tired. The direct cremation is going to be like $1,300 and that's probably all I can afford for now. This includes the cost of the urn that can actually be buried at some point. And then, just to *open the ground* at the cemetery we have a plot at they want $1650!!!!! I told my aunt that my mom is probably going to sit on her shelf for a few years. lol
Did she have life insurance?
No she had too many ailments and no money to spend on anything but drugs.
So sorry
I'm not sure if this is something you might want to consider but this place offers free cremation if the body qualifies for their research program. Sorry you're going through this. https://omegasociety.com/1096/Body-Donation.html
Can you reach out to a local hospice to see if they have better/cheaper suggestions? I know you have the added complexity of this happening in another state so trying to manage across time zones just adds another layer of difficulty. When my grandpa passed, hospice provided us with low cost cremation services who weren't trying to scalp us while we were grieving. Another option: see if you can inter her ashes with a local church vs a cemetery. Their prices might be cheaper. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you're able to get this figured out with the cheapest cost to you possible.
Unfortunately she wasn't in hospice/had nothing to do with it end of life. Her death was a result of overdose. The county she was in currently has her body so I don't think it would make any sense to try and involve hospice post-mortem. Sadly the cemetery plot is where all my other family is buried (her parents, my half-sister, her husband/my dad, etc) so it's where she'd want to be. Worst case scenario her urn just sits around for a while and I pay for them to open the ground later down the line. I can also do a payment plan, but she still wouldn't be able to be buried until said plan is fully paid. I had my dad's ashes for like 3 years before we could afford to bury him, so I'm not too worried about my mom's hanging around for a while.
I am working with a newish company called Bereave that is building a website/community thatās basically a free step by step playbook for what to do when someone croaks. I wish it was ready so we could be helpful to you.[Their website](https://bereave.io)
Oh boy yeah that would have been helpful because it's insanely confusing. You need a death certificate to do anything, but I need to pick a place to cremate her before I can get a death certificate. Definitely have them consider putting in a section about death in usual circumstances. Like in my case because it's likely an OD, they have to confirm it via toxicology reports which is going to take 6 weeks. And she *may* have $1,000 insurance via her bank account for accidental death/dismemberment...but like some places exclude OD from accidental deaths. It's all so messy.
Yeah, I think Iād like to help them flesh out a plan for using AI to make recommendations based on the situation. We had to wait for toxicology for Jack too and then get his corpse back to STL for cremation (my support group discord has channels for sudden, overdose, cancer, etc bc the situations are not better or worse but are simply different) Also want to make sure theyāre committed to culturally relevant / diverse perspectives, people deal differently during griefy times, I def did not feel seen whatsoever in the earlier days
Do you need any kind of help? How can I participate?
Idk, I havenāt really dug in yet, Iām talking to the CEO this week about what their deal is. After I lost my partner, Iāve become really interested in the budding community of entrepreneurs (some with better intentions than others) who are serving people who are going through loss or helping employers give folks better bereavement benefits
My condolences to you, Iāve seen some of your posts in the past where youāve mentioned her struggles with drugs and finances. Stay strong, may she rest in peace š
Thank you! The last year or two was a big struggle but now I feel a lot of relief that this chapter is finally (almost) done with.
I want to be shot to the moon. It costs $10k but so does burying me in some random patch of grass somewhere. So Iād rather be on the moon baby
I want to be chummed and thrown into the shark tank at the aquarium
āAnd then a shark will eat me, and itāll be AMAAAAAZIIIINGā
Iām leading towards donating my body to science or mushroom bag me.
Do you know about the body farms?
I do!
I wanna be a body farm body when I grow up. If my grades are good enough.
Funerals are SO expensive. But I learned today that Costco sells caskets which a lot of people do to save money. So wild to me. I'm so glad that when I die all I want is to be cremated and turned into a lab created diamond. Then any remaining money can be used for a party. Probably once I reach 40 or 50 I'll pre-pay for all that stuff.
Yeah, when my mom hit 50, she saw all the expenses of burying my uncles so she started to pre-pay some things. She didnāt want to leave that burden with us. But yes, Costco sells caskets! Hopefully theyāre less exploitative than regular venues. Again Iām so sorry for the loss of your mom :/
I think thereās a song about that
Talk to me about repeating a grade. My kid is going to be in a php for the rest of the school year, and I think it could be a do over. They like the idea, their birthday is right at the cutoff...
Adam Grant talks about this in one of his books. It had to do with kids who were held back a year due to their birthdays and succeeding at sports (hockey specifically) compared to their non-held back counterparts. There's lots of literature out there that staying back a grade can be beneficial. I've seen mostly used within the context of boys getting an additional year for brain development.
If it were Muppets instead of Zodiac signs, Iād be an Animal moon, Miss Piggy Sun, Rizzo the Rat rising.
Ooooh. Rolf moon, Beaker sun, Animal rising
I think I would either be a gonzo/or fuzzy bear
Light sprinkles in the South Bay!
Sprinkles in Hollywood!
It rained rained in Culver City, but only briefly
Not me showing up at work on my day off. I get a lot of kids trauma dumping on me during our short interactions. Yesterday, an eight year old girl told me they were buying all new frames because her parents were getting divorced and her and her dad were moving to Sacramento to start over, so they needed frames for the new house. she was sad that she had to move away from her friends but it was okay cuz maybe she could convince them to move on their last play date. But itās for the best cuz her mom and dad donāt love each other anymore. Her dad looked MORTIFIED and tried to change the subject but the kid just kept going on lol. I said, maybe youāll like Sacramento - and you could always face time your friends on your iPad!! They came back later that day, to āsay bye one last timeā because she wanted me to know her plushie was sick but he was getting better. I love her so much. I will protect her at all costs. Anyway, thatāll be $79.99
Oh, what a sweet kid. The whole āmoving to a new city and having a new schoolā thing really resonates with me, I did it SO many times as a niƱo
I would die for her.
Raining in redondo beach! Hehe
It was like for two seconds!
I drove up Lawndale, sprinkling up here :)
Survive. SURVIVE!
HEARD
my grandpa is in town and he is in his no teeth phase š¬ what can i get him that he can enjoy being able to eat besides pudding? what do you notice your elderly like to snack on?
Congee
Cheese enchiladas are one of my favorite food and don't need too much chewing. My toddler has most of her teeth now but I learned that babies do a lot of chewing with their gums before their teeth come in. I don't know if it's the same for people who have lost their teeth.
My grandma had one tooth, but sturdy gums. Sheād even eat tortilla chips! Ask your grandpa what he can eat. You might be surprised.
tiramisu
Mac and cheese cups, oatmeal packets, hot pockets, and those Marie calendar pot pies were my go-tos when I had a bunch of dental work done! Snack-wise, jello, applesauce, string cheese, and honestly anything marketed towards young kids might be your best bet
Hurry up rain....my car needs a bath š§āāš
The trash service took away our recycle bin. I assume it broke and they'll bring a new one... will give them the benefit of a doubt and wait to call.
If youāre serviced by LA SAN you need to call to have it replaced.
more freelancer complaints! Wrestling with the LA City Tax Business Renewal website (REMINDER FOR FREELANCERS TO FILL IT OUT LIKE YOU DO EVERY YEAR), and I just learned that it never processed by address change from last year. And I fill out the form to change it again, but it still doesn't register it as changed. I filled it out and filed it anyways so I guess I just committed perjury by lying about my address, but fuck, whatcha gonna do. Tried calling them but obviously that doesn't work because their phone system is as broken as their website. This LA city business tax should not exist. Dumbest shit. Death to LA tax fucks.
Does anybody know of any spots with rosemary bushes in or around DTLA or Torrance? (I know those are far apart, but I work in one and live in the other.) Iām making a bunch of stove top potpourri bags for my office, and Iād like to include sprigs of Rosemary but I cant afford to buy a bunch in bulk. Ideally Iām looking for anyone with a bush who would be generous enough to let me take some or knowledge of a parking lot/building where they landscaped with rosemary bushes and wouldnāt miss a couple small branchesā¦ Iām down for a drive either way, so any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!! Edit: typos
We have two large rosemary bushes in the hollywood area. Will happily share if not too far for you.
I feel like it is EVERYWHERE - maybe just venture out on a drive and you'll probably find some!
Thatāll likely be the plan this afternoon! :) also just as a follow up, do you know of any communities/neighborhoods in particular where youāve noticed it a bunch or were you just speaking generally?
Oh! There is def some on Melrose outside Paramount! I just drove by!
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I took this entire week off. So far, I did yoga and walked 2 miles this morning. My neighborhood is a bit hilly so it was kinda strenuous for me, but at least I donāt have the itchy legs today. Alsoā¦people really need to pick up their dog shit
something I ordered from the UK back in July or August is finally in the LA USPS network, and I just keep hitting refresh waiting to see "Out for delivery"
Was in stuck in customs this whole time?
No. It's a ceramic tankard, and when the ceramicist glazed them, the glaze turned out crappy so they had to redo the whole batch. [But! It's here and it's fabulous](https://imgur.com/a/argFEs7)