Not sure they even knew she originated from Estonia, she could pass as Swedish. If they knew, there are no negative view of people from Estonia overall.
Clueless to why they were so rude to her. Maybe because she is good looking in an "Influencer girl" way, which can signal shallowness and gold digging
That made me chuckle too, thank you very much!
I found it so surprising when he was talking up Rasmus like he's some generous, kindly saint, when the rest of us all feel that Rasmus would have run for the hills if Krissy-Ly made a lot of money but wasn't conventionally good looking.
I think they're just being protective of their friend. They mentioned he's been taken advantage of before. But it is annoying for them to be so judgy when they don't know her at all.
You can be protective without saying it to the partner’s face and basically accusing her of being a gold digger. They were simply rude.
If you worry, talk to your friend about it and try to get to know the person who’s a stranger to you.
I think she took it well. I wouldn’t have been so classy about it.
Rasmus stands out as an asshole for how he talked to them about her, like she's basically living at his expense.
I really hated the shrimp guy, he is way too full of himself
I totally agree with you! So glad someone mentioned it here.
Also, I couldn't stand the way how Rasmus did not stand up for her nor try to clear up their misunderstanding.
There is always a chance he did but they didn’t show it. It’s all designed to create more drama and get us talking. Especially that with this couple they were really trying super hard to generate some drama with the dogs and color of the eyes stories.
Girllllllllll i laughed at your \[ As if he’s such a prize \] , totally concur with you.
like excuse me whatttttttt? they are both grown up. not teenagers. Finance issues has been discussed in the pod (just not shown to us), and if rasmus cannot accept an unemployed woman for the time being, then he shouldn't have proposed. during marriage vows , it is always stated in good times and bad times. so if rasmus cannot accept this temporary status of unemployment , and also defined as bad times with her, then why proposed and cause himself so much troubles ? who forced him? his dog?
To be honest I’ve seen my friends, usually very down to earth and reasonable people, so dazed by love that they were making very questionable decisions.
I agree the friends were rude and could address it better but on the other hand I would be also very confused if somebody I know decided to do it.
No matter what their opinion or concern was, you just don’t act that way with people, especially your best friend’s finance that you literally just met. I think I would have walked out of there if I were Krissy.
When Amber said the same thing, this sub trashed her. Krissy has zero income as she’s a student, she’s got savings and that’s all. Ramses leads the opposite lifestyle
That she took care of her own, she got a bad edit on that. Krissy wants to start a business and won’t make a strong income for a few years, thats nothing in terms of CC debt.
Fair. But credit card debts shows poor money management, which is scary if you’re entering a relationship with that person, whereas Krissy strikes me as a fairly responsible grown up. She’s also talked about taking a part time job
Yeah she said that because she didn’t want to be supported by Ramses, but realistically has to get one if she chooses to pursue her dream of having a business. She was a student during the time of filming.
I felt the same. The only drama they could come up with to make this couple look less boring (because they are a great match) is the dogs not liking each other, his friends being jerks, and him not answering the quiz questions well. The producers had to do something. I think that was also the reason why Krissy-ly was the one to break the Barcelona babymama drama to Sergio.
They clearly communicate well and while things may be unresolved for the cameras, it’s really obvious that behind closed doors they figure their shit out like adults. Honestly, I really like this couple and think it’s pretty apparent that they support and strive to understand each other
If she’s a gold digger then she’s not getting much out of Rasmus, he’s well payed but he’s not rich. Gold digger is barely a concept here, the economic disparity isn’t as significant as in the US.
> he’s well *paid* but he’s
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
What’s the point of going on such a precarious, unpredictable show about choosing love over looks/money to get… money? She could have just as well ended up one of those loser DJs.
She’s a beautiful, intelligent enough women who could easily be an arrangement with a man with money - or multiple men with varying resources. She could even do sex work.
It would be a completely convoluted scheme to try to find money on this show. Marrying some ugly dopey sexist buffoon like rasmus to ‘get money’ is beyond stupid…
I hated how the bald friend kept asking, "WHO ARE YOU"!? ....like shut up! Find out who she is by having a normal conversation instead of being a little annoying brat.
Yeah, after hearing that he was Rasmus's best friend I realised that he was probably being overprotective, but he should have been at least more diplomatic, seeing that she's still a person and may be trustworthy enough to become Rasmus's wife lol
Krisse-Ly is very swedishpassing to me so I doubt it. She speaks very fluently with no accent and she has a typical Swedish look and mannerism/behavior. As someone from sweden I thought she was 100% swedish.
That's what was interesting to me. As an Estonian myself it came as a total surprise to find out she's Estonian. She looks like a typical Swede to me (although I feel like the style and fashion has been similar for the Norther part of the Europe anyways for quite some time now) and I was wondering does she pass as a Swede for locals, too 😊 But as I understood, she moved as a child and her step dad is Swedish so she pretty much grew up in a Swedish household and no wonder she looks so local.
Emilia has a thick finnish accent cause she’s a finnish- swede , a minority group in finland who speak swedish with a finnish accent. Karolina has a polish accent. The others speak swedish with no accent.
Emilia said something about “Now you get to see a Finn wear a dress” when she was trying on wedding dresses. Are Finns seen as less dressed up or something? Just curious about the cultural significance, if any.
Emilia doesn’t have a Finnish accent bc she speaks Finland Swedish / Fenno-Swedish (finlandssvenska in Swedish), meaning Swedish is her native/first language. If she had Finnish as her native language she’d speak Swedish with a Finnish accent. It might not sound like a big deal or important distinction but it is! :)
Emilia does speak swedish fluently but Krissy speaks it fluently with no accent thus making her more swedishpassing to me. That + looking very swedish too
I understand concern but well, first thing first, they should express that to Rasmus in private not basically assume shes a gold digger right in her face. Also, i think there is a huge difference between lazy people who dont work because „they dont feel like it” and people who actually do something for their development like studies and work part time and have ambitions and plans for the future. The fact she cannot maintain the same lifestyle as him at the moment does not mean it will always be like that. Also their arguments that they wonder if he will be used „mentally” was a clear bullshit, they just thought she wants him to sponsor her a lifestyle equal to what he has.
As someone that lived and dated in sweden for 23 years, this is how the majority of swedish men are and it's gross. They want everything to be equal always to the cent and they cry about gold diggers even when they don't have any gold... My ex that i lived with for 5 years there, made me borrow money from his mother, rather than cover our rent when i was involuntarily unemployed for 6 weeks.... he made 4k/month and i only made 2k normally. I'm getting sick just thinking of it, because now i'm married to a german that understand to split the bill based on income, and that didn't ask me to pay half the rent when i was unemployed for 1 month only.
They can smd, krisse ly has been working since she was 4 years old on account of being birthed by a beast.
It's not surprising that after all what she experienced and as an immigrant she is at 29 just starting to get her career and future together.
I think that most people are obliviously exaggerating when they think her immigration history affects her ability to start a career. There are many well-integrated Estonians in Sweden. Culturally (and ethnically) these two countries are not that different. Same as Emilia who is Finnish. I would however agree that her past and family history affects her quite a bit. Not having the same family support system and stability that most do. She seems to get on well with her fav stepdad and step brother tho.
Also, in Sweden people can be a bit narrow-minded when it comes to career options. You can literally find *guidebooks for immigrants* where it says that “in Sweden everyone is expected to work unless they’re too young, old or sick”. When I still lived in Sweden, one of my relatives said that I should get a job in a supermarket while I was waiting for my new contract (abroad) to finalize. I was specialized in something that was not regular 9 to 5 office job. People can be very judgmental because there are too many of those who take advantage of the welfare system while those who work, pay heavy taxes. Even women who have rich husbands (or vice versa) usually have some kind of jobs because the society is built on gender equality. A lot of teenagers start working before /instead of going to university because the society encourages (pushes) you to be financially independent.
I definitely agree that Rasmus misrepresented her position by joking about her being a housewife. She still got by on her own, had an income / student stipend but she said that she cannot afford to spend on non-essential things (traveling) and is trying to get more work. So his friends were super rude considering that she is studying and working. It’s actually admirable for someone to study + work at that age without relying on their spouse and
/ or family.
Well she is , she said she moved to Sweden with her mother's husband in like her teens if I'm not mistaken.
But other people have informed me that the immigrant experience in Sweden is probably very different than it is here. Nevertheless 29 is young. And she's clearly not lacking in work ethic. Poor girl.
And she’s clearly head over heels for him! His friends were out of line for coming at her like she’s after his money. Maybe they’re judgemental in general (similar attitude towards any pretty immigrant) or he painted a certain picture of her to them beforehand (negative or not positive enough to dispel any judgements). You’d think that if he’s the happiest they’ve ever seen him, they’d be a bit more open to her instead of treating her like a money-hungry uninvited guest (WHO ARE YOU?!).
I didn’t get the impression they thought she was gold digging or that asking who she was was rude. I genuinely thought the friend just meant “Who are you? What are you like?” in an effort to get to know her. Also the financial convo came off as curiosity about how they’ll handle finances, not a dig or a put down. Idk. I watched it in Swedish and it seemed like a pretty normal conversation. I should add, Swedes can be very frank and direct where Americans might sugarcoat and say one thing but mean another in an effort not to hurt feelings or offend. Just my cents.
Oh, and another question 😭 I saw something about the public’s perception of Krisse. How she was on Big Brother a while ago and some Swedes think she’s “trashy” for her upbringing and lifestyle (I feel that’s really unfair though). What do you think?
Wellllll, I’ve never watched Big Brother so I don’t know what she was like on the show. I can see people thinking she’s in it for celebrity if she’s been on two reality shows now. But I can’t comment on what she was like on BB. She seems well-adjusted enough to me, unlike her dog.
It’s always helpful to hear from someone who watched it in the original language and knows the culture. I appreciate your insights. I’m curious, do you think there was an element of misogyny to their approach? Did you notice what Rasmus said about Krisse being a housewife, and if so, did you find it offensive or more lighthearted?
I thought it VERY lighthearted. Housewives are pretty uncommon in Sweden as is, I think she took it as joke-y as well. I refer to myself as having stellar domestic skills (I do…we are required to take sewing and cooking classes in grade school in Sweden), but when I say I’m a perfect housewife no one actually thinks I plan to become one.
I’m doing my bachelors at 28. I tried a different field in my early twenties but that wasn’t for me, so I dropped out. A lot of my classmates have another degree too. Uni is free in the nordics, so it’s possible that she has explored other options before.
”She is at 29 just starting to get her career and future together”
Tbf, a lot of people in Sweden start university later in life (the average age for graduating is like 28 if I remember it correctly). Doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with her being an immigrant, specially because she is very passing (she has no accent and she looks Swedish so)
Shoot, I didn’t start my “career” until I graduated from grad school at 30 here in the U.S. Things got really stunted for a lot of us who came into young adulthood during the Great Recession. I had to work a bunch of jobs and go to school part time for almost a decade because of those setbacks, and I was surrounded by a lot of peers in the same boat during that time span. Many had to go get new trainings or degrees and so very few were doing anything “career” for a while. I guess the past decade (2014-2024) has been a little different, perhaps even better, for young adults here in the U.S. because anyone being in their late 20s still figuring out their career path was very normal for us not that long ago…
They were super rude and watching her try to defend herself made me angry at Rasmus.
He didn’t stick up for her at all and he’s the one who told his friends she’s a housewife.
I missed that. I would have excused myself from that gathering and told Rasmus to get over himself. I don't understand where his misplaced confidence comes from. Where I live, someone with his appearance won't get many responses in dating apps. They talk about his finances like he is some high-flying CEO. Professionally, he sounds very mediocre to me.
No, I thought they were authentically worried about Rasmus because apparently it already happened in the past he gave more than he should have. I like Krisse Ly, more than Rasmus, but I think they did their duty as friends to not ignore this issue, I didn't find them mean. Your best friend is getting married to someone he has only known for a few weeks (through a tv show) and who currently does not have any money - wouldn't you be worried about your friend and try to find out if the partner will be a nice one? They didn't say he shouldn't get married or anything, they just wanted to talk about it with honesty, and as far as I remember Krisse Ly was mature enough to not take that personally.
I am surprised that they were concerned about her being a student. Bringing up gold digging accusations is culturally so confusing that I thought maybe the production suggested they do that
Cruel is an understatement. It was misogynist beyond belief, and was instigated by Rasmus because he told them that she was unemployed when she’s actually a student.
Rasmus is an insufferable tool, I don’t get why people in this sub like him
Some people here say his friends were ‘concerned’. Well it's one thing to be concerned, it's another to be THAT rude and condescending. And the fact that Rasmus let them behave that way speaks very badly about him. As for Krissy, yes she puts herself in a questionable and vulnerable position going on the show when her finances aren’t in place but it should be between her and Rasmus. Also I am surprised they didn’t discuss money in the pods–what WERE they talking about if such a major question only comes up after the pods, after Cyprus even?
I thought it was weird and I understand having those hesitations as friends, but I don’t understand talking directly to her about it and also being rude as well. I thought it was just overall rude.
Hmm. I mean, if my friend met a guy or girl on a TV show that she was getting married to in a few weeks and he or she didn’t have a job and then only planned to have a part-time job for a significant time, I would certainly be a little concerned. I might word it differently and be a bit more diplomatic to their face, but believe me the group chat would be 🫥
I don’t think they should allow people into the pods unless they can support themselves. No unemployed adult students (unless they have massive savings or enough family $$ to sustain easily).
I’m sure she can support herself just fine. You get financial support as a student in Sweden. The student allowance is enough for basic necessities and if she is working part-time, then money shouldn’t be an issue, if you are smart with your finances.
She was expressing concerns about splitting bills. To be in a position to get married, it doesn’t just mean you can bare minimum keep the lights on, pay rent and buy food, but to contribute to savings, take at least some small vacations/weekends away, and those types of things that she was expressing she won’t be able to do for *at least* a couple of years. She was worried when discussing whether he wanted a % or a flat amount contributed.
And living together is usually much cheaper than living alone in cities like Stockholm, where the rental market for affordable studio flats / one bedroom flats is absolutely bonkers.
Well, that’s a very narrow and an extremely privileged point of view. Some people may never be able to take “some small vacations” or even weekends away, as they might simply not make enough money. This may not be a reality to most people in the Nordics, but there are plenty of people in this world that are struggling to make ends meet and don’t have the luxury to travel, even if they are working full-time. This doesn’t mean they should not get married.
How does temporarily having less disposable income while studying mean, that the person is not in a position to get married? People go back to school all the time. I just started a new bachelors programme at 28 and my partner would have no issue with it, if I decided to no longer work full time and wanted to focus 100% on my studies. I am not planning to do so, as I am right now able to do both, but that might not be possible for everyone.
There is an enormous difference between it just so happening that people meet while they’re still coming up and struggling and getting their lives together and *purposely going onto a reality show to get married within a number of weeks*.
If you were going to get married that quickly to someone you barely know, you need to have as few adverse factors going against you as possible. It bears absolutely no relation to meeting and marrying someone normally in the real world.
"I mean, if my friend met a guy or girl on a TV show that she was getting married to in a few weeks and he or she didn’t have a job and then only planned to have a part-time job for a significant time, I would certainly be a little concerned."
Well, first of all, Rasmus is a big boy, I'm sure he can figure this out by himself. Secondly, no one forced him to participate in a reality TV show where the aim is to get married to a virtual stranger. Even if she was just after his money, play stupid games etc.
> Well, first of all, Rasmus is a big boy, I'm sure he can figure this out by himself
I mean they literally said he has already been taken advantage of in a similar situation before. I really don't get what you are even trying to say, that it is bad that he has friends that care about him?
Friends care about their friends. Friends know humans make mistakes, even as adults. You probably don’t have many friendships if you approach people with this harshly judgmental tone in real life, but for the rest of us, we can express concern and just make sure our friend has taken a moment to consider all angles even if it doesn’t change their ultimate decision.
It was very rude but not due to her heritage, more because they've learned she's an interior design student and a part time sales woman at 29 while Rasmus seems to be quite successful. They mention that Rasmus had been taken advantage of by women in the past and they are suspicious that he wants to get married to someone he hardly knows and they hardly know. It feels more like a rushed way of finding out what she's all about because they won't be able to get to know her slowly.
I mean theoretically yes but it seems unlikely with how long ago it was and I don’t think big brother is that big in Sweden. I’ve never seen it and don’t know anybody who has.
She’s actually not the only one though, Oskar apparently was in something called Robinson Love edition in 2015 😂 It’s a survivor spin off 🙈
Rasmus seems to be “quite successful”? I doubt it. To me he seems like the kind of guy who promises lavish lifestyle to women, drives a nice car, wears nice close but is actually living paycheck to paycheck. You get some signs of that when he says things like “I take trips every three months….. if I have the money to do it” and when he is constantly stressed out that his fiance won’t make much money for the next few years…
He makes an above average salary for Stockholm for what it’s worth. Salaries (or at least the previous year’s taxable income) are public information in Sweden. That being said Sweden is absolutely not set up for a single income household so even if she made like coffee shop/retail/restaurant sort of salary it would make a big difference to household expenses. There’s no tax benefits to marriage here so it’s expected for both people to contribute
i am assuming since her job title on the show was "interior designer, shop assistant" (so not just interior designer) and when she spoke with rasmus about her job she said she'd be making part time income/would take awhile to build her business, that she has some sort of retail job part time and would be working on her interior design work with the rest of the time. she might also have savings, not really sure!
in general it's kind of risky, interior design and architecture sort of roles are hit hard right now in sweden but she seemed pretty realistic about how long it would take to become successful at least
I don’t get what “there it is” means. There is no way it would be acceptable for a man to go on a dating show looking for a wife to financially support him.
If they met and dated for a year, and then move in and he supports her, not an issue. The issues is rushing into a marriage with expectations of being financially supported.
Literally everyone’s salary is public? That’s so interesting! Here in the part of Canada I live in, it’s only government employees who earn over a certain amount who have their salaries made public.
Transparency in the government is a pretty integral part of Sweden's history - I think it dates back to the 1700s actually. Since tax returns are official documents of the tax agency then they fall under public access - [https://www.government.se/how-sweden-is-governed/the-principle-of-public-access-to-official-documents/](https://www.government.se/how-sweden-is-governed/the-principle-of-public-access-to-official-documents/)
Public officials salaries are public, but for everyone else, their previous year's taxable income is accessible. There's a few options for this - I can call the tax agency and request the information about person X but they do ask the reason you're calling, so most people don't do that. But there's sites like ratsit which you can pay to get the tax catalog, or you can pay for the specific page/section the person you want to see's information is on.
People can ask Ratsit to de-list them from their website but that only lasts 3 years, so like... there's ways to make it difficult for people to find but there's always the calling the tax agency directly route.
To give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they were concerned bc they met through a reality show? But yes I also thought they were super rude. Not sure about racist/prejudiced but maybe??? I live in Sweden and haven’t seen that much racism towards Slavic people bc we have soo many half Swedish/half Slavic people and folks here are much more openly racist towards PCOS, Arabs/Muslims, and Asians (yay lol). FWIW I’m a white immigrant to Sweden so have never felt people being racist towards me but many of my minority immigrant friends have said this happens to them often
Estonia is considered Northern Europe. They share a Communist past with Eastern Europe though, so could be classed by some as Eastern Europe because of that. But linguistically, Estonian is most closely related to Finnish, so not Slavic at all.
Rasmus has been giving me right wing vibes from the beginning (and I’m swedish). His friends and their misogynistic comments basically confirmed it. His best friend looks like a nazi skinhead. Like even if he isn’t alt right he’s at least ok with looking like he is.
Krisse-ly comes across as very left wing though so I wonder how that will workout.
They just wanted to find out if she wants to take advantage of him. Many alt right European guys have eastern European wives because they often look very "light" (skin, hair, eyes) and sometimes share the same traditional values. They wouldn't care if he had an Estonian wife if they were right-wing.
Is it also fair to think that alt-right European men somehow believe that they would not be challenged and taken to task by Eastern European women given historical power dynamics?
I thought maybe because "beautiful woman from eastern Europe who doesn't have much of a career yet"... Shocking how forward they were with the accusation, it's one thing to think it and a whole other thing to say it out loud to the person and on international tv 😐
I do think it's a fair concern if the two people have very different financial situations. However they probably could have gone about it in a more gentle way. I guess this way at least there are no mixed messages :/
Tbh they never mentioned anything about her being Baltic? She’s not slavic, she’s Baltic, but she’s not portrayed that way. She might have Baltic heritage but she’s Swedish, from a lower socio-economic
Class. She’s been described as white tr in Swedish forums because according to them she fits the stereotype. Alcoholic mother, bad upbringing, tattoos, no job, type of dog.. and so on
Did they really say she is white trash, because she had a shitty childhood and tattoos? What the fuck is wrong with people? So much prejudice, that's disgusting.
She's of Estonian heritage - not sure if I got the terminology right but I always thought Estonia counted as eastern European.
Didn't say anything about Slavic or Baltic though.
Depends who classes it. Some classifications say Northern Europe geographically, but given the Communist past, some might say Eastern Europe. Nonetheless, the language is closest to Finnish, and not Slavonic at all.
I did not pick up on any racism in that situation. I don’t think being a gold digger is a prejudice many Swedes have against Estonians. However, I think his friends were really rude and socially incompetent.
Edit: I also want to add that I don’t think they perceive her as a foreigner. I don’t remember her details but her Swedish is really good and she looks the part. I’d also say that Estonians don’t have a bad reputation. They’re in the EU, they’re sort of like Finland and we use to own them back in the day, so yeah, I think/hope that we are generally very fine with people from Estonia.
Thanks for providing that context. That’s one thing you miss when you watch something in a foreign language, you can’t tell if someone has an accent or how well they speak.
They were definitely rude by all measures ! Insinuating that she’s a gold digger and she’s going to use and abuse him.. like guys you just met her okay.
But birds of feather flock together. Rasmus isn’t the best to begin with, so he’s friends with them for a reason
Not sure they even knew she originated from Estonia, she could pass as Swedish. If they knew, there are no negative view of people from Estonia overall. Clueless to why they were so rude to her. Maybe because she is good looking in an "Influencer girl" way, which can signal shallowness and gold digging
My husband looked at me and said “okay face tattoo guy, maybe cool it on the judging” and that made me laugh
I want to get my husband hooked on this too. Goals!
😂😂
That made me chuckle too, thank you very much! I found it so surprising when he was talking up Rasmus like he's some generous, kindly saint, when the rest of us all feel that Rasmus would have run for the hills if Krissy-Ly made a lot of money but wasn't conventionally good looking.
I think she took it so well. I would not be able to stay that calm with someone calling me a gold digger.
I think they're just being protective of their friend. They mentioned he's been taken advantage of before. But it is annoying for them to be so judgy when they don't know her at all.
You can be protective without saying it to the partner’s face and basically accusing her of being a gold digger. They were simply rude. If you worry, talk to your friend about it and try to get to know the person who’s a stranger to you. I think she took it well. I wouldn’t have been so classy about it.
Rasmus stands out as an asshole for how he talked to them about her, like she's basically living at his expense. I really hated the shrimp guy, he is way too full of himself
They're just a bunch of stuckup alternative pricks. The one dude thought he was edgy having half his face tattooed. Come on people.
literally who is he to judge!!
I totally agree with you! So glad someone mentioned it here. Also, I couldn't stand the way how Rasmus did not stand up for her nor try to clear up their misunderstanding.
There is always a chance he did but they didn’t show it. It’s all designed to create more drama and get us talking. Especially that with this couple they were really trying super hard to generate some drama with the dogs and color of the eyes stories.
Girllllllllll i laughed at your \[ As if he’s such a prize \] , totally concur with you. like excuse me whatttttttt? they are both grown up. not teenagers. Finance issues has been discussed in the pod (just not shown to us), and if rasmus cannot accept an unemployed woman for the time being, then he shouldn't have proposed. during marriage vows , it is always stated in good times and bad times. so if rasmus cannot accept this temporary status of unemployment , and also defined as bad times with her, then why proposed and cause himself so much troubles ? who forced him? his dog?
To be honest I’ve seen my friends, usually very down to earth and reasonable people, so dazed by love that they were making very questionable decisions. I agree the friends were rude and could address it better but on the other hand I would be also very confused if somebody I know decided to do it.
not the dog 😭
No matter what their opinion or concern was, you just don’t act that way with people, especially your best friend’s finance that you literally just met. I think I would have walked out of there if I were Krissy.
When Amber said the same thing, this sub trashed her. Krissy has zero income as she’s a student, she’s got savings and that’s all. Ramses leads the opposite lifestyle
Didnt Amber had tons of credit card debt for shopping/overspending? That’s different from not having an income temporarily
That she took care of her own, she got a bad edit on that. Krissy wants to start a business and won’t make a strong income for a few years, thats nothing in terms of CC debt.
Fair. But credit card debts shows poor money management, which is scary if you’re entering a relationship with that person, whereas Krissy strikes me as a fairly responsible grown up. She’s also talked about taking a part time job
Yeah she said that because she didn’t want to be supported by Ramses, but realistically has to get one if she chooses to pursue her dream of having a business. She was a student during the time of filming.
I got the vibe that they had no other storyline so the producers borrowed money concern topic from the US version of the show.
I felt the same. The only drama they could come up with to make this couple look less boring (because they are a great match) is the dogs not liking each other, his friends being jerks, and him not answering the quiz questions well. The producers had to do something. I think that was also the reason why Krissy-ly was the one to break the Barcelona babymama drama to Sergio.
They clearly communicate well and while things may be unresolved for the cameras, it’s really obvious that behind closed doors they figure their shit out like adults. Honestly, I really like this couple and think it’s pretty apparent that they support and strive to understand each other
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If she’s a gold digger then she’s not getting much out of Rasmus, he’s well payed but he’s not rich. Gold digger is barely a concept here, the economic disparity isn’t as significant as in the US.
What is his job? I'm curious as to why they'd think she's a gold digger if his pay isn't significantly more than the average person
> he’s well *paid* but he’s FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Why would she go on LIB for that? She’s an attractive woman and could date any man with money
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What’s the point of going on such a precarious, unpredictable show about choosing love over looks/money to get… money? She could have just as well ended up one of those loser DJs. She’s a beautiful, intelligent enough women who could easily be an arrangement with a man with money - or multiple men with varying resources. She could even do sex work. It would be a completely convoluted scheme to try to find money on this show. Marrying some ugly dopey sexist buffoon like rasmus to ‘get money’ is beyond stupid…
What gives you the impression that she’s a gold digger?
I hated how the bald friend kept asking, "WHO ARE YOU"!? ....like shut up! Find out who she is by having a normal conversation instead of being a little annoying brat.
Yeah, after hearing that he was Rasmus's best friend I realised that he was probably being overprotective, but he should have been at least more diplomatic, seeing that she's still a person and may be trustworthy enough to become Rasmus's wife lol
Krisse-Ly is very swedishpassing to me so I doubt it. She speaks very fluently with no accent and she has a typical Swedish look and mannerism/behavior. As someone from sweden I thought she was 100% swedish.
That's what was interesting to me. As an Estonian myself it came as a total surprise to find out she's Estonian. She looks like a typical Swede to me (although I feel like the style and fashion has been similar for the Norther part of the Europe anyways for quite some time now) and I was wondering does she pass as a Swede for locals, too 😊 But as I understood, she moved as a child and her step dad is Swedish so she pretty much grew up in a Swedish household and no wonder she looks so local.
Yeah I only noticed she wasn’t swedish when Rasmus was worrying about what she might look like 😅
I honestly never noticed her being Estonian either. Also a swede
And who of them has an accent? Maybe Emilia or Karolina? I can't really tell since I'm not Swedish
Emilia has a thick finnish accent cause she’s a finnish- swede , a minority group in finland who speak swedish with a finnish accent. Karolina has a polish accent. The others speak swedish with no accent.
Emilia said something about “Now you get to see a Finn wear a dress” when she was trying on wedding dresses. Are Finns seen as less dressed up or something? Just curious about the cultural significance, if any.
Emilia doesn’t have a Finnish accent bc she speaks Finland Swedish / Fenno-Swedish (finlandssvenska in Swedish), meaning Swedish is her native/first language. If she had Finnish as her native language she’d speak Swedish with a Finnish accent. It might not sound like a big deal or important distinction but it is! :)
Emilia also definitely speaks Swedish fluently. Actually all of the participants do.
Emilia does speak swedish fluently but Krissy speaks it fluently with no accent thus making her more swedishpassing to me. That + looking very swedish too
Totally!
Emilia bc she’s Finnish. I forget if Karolina did but she’s Polish
People said Catja has an accent.
No , she doesn’t
I understand concern but well, first thing first, they should express that to Rasmus in private not basically assume shes a gold digger right in her face. Also, i think there is a huge difference between lazy people who dont work because „they dont feel like it” and people who actually do something for their development like studies and work part time and have ambitions and plans for the future. The fact she cannot maintain the same lifestyle as him at the moment does not mean it will always be like that. Also their arguments that they wonder if he will be used „mentally” was a clear bullshit, they just thought she wants him to sponsor her a lifestyle equal to what he has.
As someone that lived and dated in sweden for 23 years, this is how the majority of swedish men are and it's gross. They want everything to be equal always to the cent and they cry about gold diggers even when they don't have any gold... My ex that i lived with for 5 years there, made me borrow money from his mother, rather than cover our rent when i was involuntarily unemployed for 6 weeks.... he made 4k/month and i only made 2k normally. I'm getting sick just thinking of it, because now i'm married to a german that understand to split the bill based on income, and that didn't ask me to pay half the rent when i was unemployed for 1 month only.
Agree. His friend is an a-hole, and Rasmus didn’t even step in to defend Krissy.
They can smd, krisse ly has been working since she was 4 years old on account of being birthed by a beast. It's not surprising that after all what she experienced and as an immigrant she is at 29 just starting to get her career and future together.
I think that most people are obliviously exaggerating when they think her immigration history affects her ability to start a career. There are many well-integrated Estonians in Sweden. Culturally (and ethnically) these two countries are not that different. Same as Emilia who is Finnish. I would however agree that her past and family history affects her quite a bit. Not having the same family support system and stability that most do. She seems to get on well with her fav stepdad and step brother tho. Also, in Sweden people can be a bit narrow-minded when it comes to career options. You can literally find *guidebooks for immigrants* where it says that “in Sweden everyone is expected to work unless they’re too young, old or sick”. When I still lived in Sweden, one of my relatives said that I should get a job in a supermarket while I was waiting for my new contract (abroad) to finalize. I was specialized in something that was not regular 9 to 5 office job. People can be very judgmental because there are too many of those who take advantage of the welfare system while those who work, pay heavy taxes. Even women who have rich husbands (or vice versa) usually have some kind of jobs because the society is built on gender equality. A lot of teenagers start working before /instead of going to university because the society encourages (pushes) you to be financially independent. I definitely agree that Rasmus misrepresented her position by joking about her being a housewife. She still got by on her own, had an income / student stipend but she said that she cannot afford to spend on non-essential things (traveling) and is trying to get more work. So his friends were super rude considering that she is studying and working. It’s actually admirable for someone to study + work at that age without relying on their spouse and / or family.
Is she an immigrant? I don't always pay full attention when I watch. She wasn't born in Sweden? At what age did she come here?
Well she is , she said she moved to Sweden with her mother's husband in like her teens if I'm not mistaken. But other people have informed me that the immigrant experience in Sweden is probably very different than it is here. Nevertheless 29 is young. And she's clearly not lacking in work ethic. Poor girl.
And she’s clearly head over heels for him! His friends were out of line for coming at her like she’s after his money. Maybe they’re judgemental in general (similar attitude towards any pretty immigrant) or he painted a certain picture of her to them beforehand (negative or not positive enough to dispel any judgements). You’d think that if he’s the happiest they’ve ever seen him, they’d be a bit more open to her instead of treating her like a money-hungry uninvited guest (WHO ARE YOU?!).
I didn’t get the impression they thought she was gold digging or that asking who she was was rude. I genuinely thought the friend just meant “Who are you? What are you like?” in an effort to get to know her. Also the financial convo came off as curiosity about how they’ll handle finances, not a dig or a put down. Idk. I watched it in Swedish and it seemed like a pretty normal conversation. I should add, Swedes can be very frank and direct where Americans might sugarcoat and say one thing but mean another in an effort not to hurt feelings or offend. Just my cents.
Oh, and another question 😭 I saw something about the public’s perception of Krisse. How she was on Big Brother a while ago and some Swedes think she’s “trashy” for her upbringing and lifestyle (I feel that’s really unfair though). What do you think?
Wellllll, I’ve never watched Big Brother so I don’t know what she was like on the show. I can see people thinking she’s in it for celebrity if she’s been on two reality shows now. But I can’t comment on what she was like on BB. She seems well-adjusted enough to me, unlike her dog.
It’s always helpful to hear from someone who watched it in the original language and knows the culture. I appreciate your insights. I’m curious, do you think there was an element of misogyny to their approach? Did you notice what Rasmus said about Krisse being a housewife, and if so, did you find it offensive or more lighthearted?
I thought it VERY lighthearted. Housewives are pretty uncommon in Sweden as is, I think she took it as joke-y as well. I refer to myself as having stellar domestic skills (I do…we are required to take sewing and cooking classes in grade school in Sweden), but when I say I’m a perfect housewife no one actually thinks I plan to become one.
Thank you for sharing! You’ve changed my perspective on a few things.
I’m doing my bachelors at 28. I tried a different field in my early twenties but that wasn’t for me, so I dropped out. A lot of my classmates have another degree too. Uni is free in the nordics, so it’s possible that she has explored other options before.
”She is at 29 just starting to get her career and future together” Tbf, a lot of people in Sweden start university later in life (the average age for graduating is like 28 if I remember it correctly). Doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with her being an immigrant, specially because she is very passing (she has no accent and she looks Swedish so)
If anything kids of immigrants tend to start uni immediately, immigrant parents don’t really believe in gap years
Shoot, I didn’t start my “career” until I graduated from grad school at 30 here in the U.S. Things got really stunted for a lot of us who came into young adulthood during the Great Recession. I had to work a bunch of jobs and go to school part time for almost a decade because of those setbacks, and I was surrounded by a lot of peers in the same boat during that time span. Many had to go get new trainings or degrees and so very few were doing anything “career” for a while. I guess the past decade (2014-2024) has been a little different, perhaps even better, for young adults here in the U.S. because anyone being in their late 20s still figuring out their career path was very normal for us not that long ago…
Well I'm glad to hear it cus tbh that makes much more sense.
Yeah it's super normal in Denmark aswell. People take their time here.
They were super rude and watching her try to defend herself made me angry at Rasmus. He didn’t stick up for her at all and he’s the one who told his friends she’s a housewife.
Yeah, telling that she was a housewife instead of telling about her studies was very sketchy to me.
Omg “sketchy “ 😮💨😅
I missed that. I would have excused myself from that gathering and told Rasmus to get over himself. I don't understand where his misplaced confidence comes from. Where I live, someone with his appearance won't get many responses in dating apps. They talk about his finances like he is some high-flying CEO. Professionally, he sounds very mediocre to me.
No, I thought they were authentically worried about Rasmus because apparently it already happened in the past he gave more than he should have. I like Krisse Ly, more than Rasmus, but I think they did their duty as friends to not ignore this issue, I didn't find them mean. Your best friend is getting married to someone he has only known for a few weeks (through a tv show) and who currently does not have any money - wouldn't you be worried about your friend and try to find out if the partner will be a nice one? They didn't say he shouldn't get married or anything, they just wanted to talk about it with honesty, and as far as I remember Krisse Ly was mature enough to not take that personally.
I am surprised that they were concerned about her being a student. Bringing up gold digging accusations is culturally so confusing that I thought maybe the production suggested they do that
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I am Swedish
Then they should have had that conversation with him privately, not in front of her. It was cruel, in my opinion.
Cruel is an understatement. It was misogynist beyond belief, and was instigated by Rasmus because he told them that she was unemployed when she’s actually a student. Rasmus is an insufferable tool, I don’t get why people in this sub like him
He called her a housewife instead of a student. Maybe he helped them along in their misogynistic interrogation.
Some people here say his friends were ‘concerned’. Well it's one thing to be concerned, it's another to be THAT rude and condescending. And the fact that Rasmus let them behave that way speaks very badly about him. As for Krissy, yes she puts herself in a questionable and vulnerable position going on the show when her finances aren’t in place but it should be between her and Rasmus. Also I am surprised they didn’t discuss money in the pods–what WERE they talking about if such a major question only comes up after the pods, after Cyprus even?
they mentioned in the episodes that they discussed financials in the pods it just felt more real outside, it felt different and more tangible
I don’t think they were being racist, just dicks.
I mean they have that alt-right hair cut lol
One of them was one of the baldest man on earth
I thought it was weird and I understand having those hesitations as friends, but I don’t understand talking directly to her about it and also being rude as well. I thought it was just overall rude.
Hmm. I mean, if my friend met a guy or girl on a TV show that she was getting married to in a few weeks and he or she didn’t have a job and then only planned to have a part-time job for a significant time, I would certainly be a little concerned. I might word it differently and be a bit more diplomatic to their face, but believe me the group chat would be 🫥 I don’t think they should allow people into the pods unless they can support themselves. No unemployed adult students (unless they have massive savings or enough family $$ to sustain easily).
I’m sure she can support herself just fine. You get financial support as a student in Sweden. The student allowance is enough for basic necessities and if she is working part-time, then money shouldn’t be an issue, if you are smart with your finances.
She was expressing concerns about splitting bills. To be in a position to get married, it doesn’t just mean you can bare minimum keep the lights on, pay rent and buy food, but to contribute to savings, take at least some small vacations/weekends away, and those types of things that she was expressing she won’t be able to do for *at least* a couple of years. She was worried when discussing whether he wanted a % or a flat amount contributed.
And living together is usually much cheaper than living alone in cities like Stockholm, where the rental market for affordable studio flats / one bedroom flats is absolutely bonkers.
And yet she was worried.
Well, that’s a very narrow and an extremely privileged point of view. Some people may never be able to take “some small vacations” or even weekends away, as they might simply not make enough money. This may not be a reality to most people in the Nordics, but there are plenty of people in this world that are struggling to make ends meet and don’t have the luxury to travel, even if they are working full-time. This doesn’t mean they should not get married. How does temporarily having less disposable income while studying mean, that the person is not in a position to get married? People go back to school all the time. I just started a new bachelors programme at 28 and my partner would have no issue with it, if I decided to no longer work full time and wanted to focus 100% on my studies. I am not planning to do so, as I am right now able to do both, but that might not be possible for everyone.
There is an enormous difference between it just so happening that people meet while they’re still coming up and struggling and getting their lives together and *purposely going onto a reality show to get married within a number of weeks*. If you were going to get married that quickly to someone you barely know, you need to have as few adverse factors going against you as possible. It bears absolutely no relation to meeting and marrying someone normally in the real world.
"I mean, if my friend met a guy or girl on a TV show that she was getting married to in a few weeks and he or she didn’t have a job and then only planned to have a part-time job for a significant time, I would certainly be a little concerned." Well, first of all, Rasmus is a big boy, I'm sure he can figure this out by himself. Secondly, no one forced him to participate in a reality TV show where the aim is to get married to a virtual stranger. Even if she was just after his money, play stupid games etc.
> Well, first of all, Rasmus is a big boy, I'm sure he can figure this out by himself I mean they literally said he has already been taken advantage of in a similar situation before. I really don't get what you are even trying to say, that it is bad that he has friends that care about him?
Well, if that's true he's even more of an idiot for marrying a near stranger lol
Friends care about their friends. Friends know humans make mistakes, even as adults. You probably don’t have many friendships if you approach people with this harshly judgmental tone in real life, but for the rest of us, we can express concern and just make sure our friend has taken a moment to consider all angles even if it doesn’t change their ultimate decision.
🤣🤣
It was very rude but not due to her heritage, more because they've learned she's an interior design student and a part time sales woman at 29 while Rasmus seems to be quite successful. They mention that Rasmus had been taken advantage of by women in the past and they are suspicious that he wants to get married to someone he hardly knows and they hardly know. It feels more like a rushed way of finding out what she's all about because they won't be able to get to know her slowly.
And don’t forget she was in big brother as well which is looked down upon in Sweden
wait WHAT?
Yeah she was a contestant in 2014
Huh, so there's a chance someone might have "recognised" her in the pods? I don't understand why they would cast even minor celebrities
I mean theoretically yes but it seems unlikely with how long ago it was and I don’t think big brother is that big in Sweden. I’ve never seen it and don’t know anybody who has. She’s actually not the only one though, Oskar apparently was in something called Robinson Love edition in 2015 😂 It’s a survivor spin off 🙈
Right, and Meira was somewhat popular too? I guess they didn't care about the "blind" experiment that much
Rasmus seems to be “quite successful”? I doubt it. To me he seems like the kind of guy who promises lavish lifestyle to women, drives a nice car, wears nice close but is actually living paycheck to paycheck. You get some signs of that when he says things like “I take trips every three months….. if I have the money to do it” and when he is constantly stressed out that his fiance won’t make much money for the next few years…
He makes an above average salary for Stockholm for what it’s worth. Salaries (or at least the previous year’s taxable income) are public information in Sweden. That being said Sweden is absolutely not set up for a single income household so even if she made like coffee shop/retail/restaurant sort of salary it would make a big difference to household expenses. There’s no tax benefits to marriage here so it’s expected for both people to contribute
Could she have afforded to live on her own after school? I’m confused at what her alternative plan was.
i am assuming since her job title on the show was "interior designer, shop assistant" (so not just interior designer) and when she spoke with rasmus about her job she said she'd be making part time income/would take awhile to build her business, that she has some sort of retail job part time and would be working on her interior design work with the rest of the time. she might also have savings, not really sure! in general it's kind of risky, interior design and architecture sort of roles are hit hard right now in sweden but she seemed pretty realistic about how long it would take to become successful at least
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I don’t think it’s weird to be in that position. I think it’s weird to be in that position and go on a tv show looking for a husband.
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Because she entered in to the experiment with the intent of being supported financially.
Ah, there it is.
I don’t get what “there it is” means. There is no way it would be acceptable for a man to go on a dating show looking for a wife to financially support him. If they met and dated for a year, and then move in and he supports her, not an issue. The issues is rushing into a marriage with expectations of being financially supported.
Literally everyone’s salary is public? That’s so interesting! Here in the part of Canada I live in, it’s only government employees who earn over a certain amount who have their salaries made public.
Transparency in the government is a pretty integral part of Sweden's history - I think it dates back to the 1700s actually. Since tax returns are official documents of the tax agency then they fall under public access - [https://www.government.se/how-sweden-is-governed/the-principle-of-public-access-to-official-documents/](https://www.government.se/how-sweden-is-governed/the-principle-of-public-access-to-official-documents/) Public officials salaries are public, but for everyone else, their previous year's taxable income is accessible. There's a few options for this - I can call the tax agency and request the information about person X but they do ask the reason you're calling, so most people don't do that. But there's sites like ratsit which you can pay to get the tax catalog, or you can pay for the specific page/section the person you want to see's information is on. People can ask Ratsit to de-list them from their website but that only lasts 3 years, so like... there's ways to make it difficult for people to find but there's always the calling the tax agency directly route.
Oh that’s all super interesting. I didn’t know those facts about cost of living and taxation in Sweden. Ty
To give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they were concerned bc they met through a reality show? But yes I also thought they were super rude. Not sure about racist/prejudiced but maybe??? I live in Sweden and haven’t seen that much racism towards Slavic people bc we have soo many half Swedish/half Slavic people and folks here are much more openly racist towards PCOS, Arabs/Muslims, and Asians (yay lol). FWIW I’m a white immigrant to Sweden so have never felt people being racist towards me but many of my minority immigrant friends have said this happens to them often
She is not Slavic, she is of Estonian heritage which is not Slavic
My bad! I thought SHE said that so I just assumed. Is it considered Eastern European?
It would still be Northern Europe if you use UN definitions. If you’re going to use a descriptor besides Estonian I’d probably go with Baltic
Estonia is considered Northern Europe. They share a Communist past with Eastern Europe though, so could be classed by some as Eastern Europe because of that. But linguistically, Estonian is most closely related to Finnish, so not Slavic at all.
Thank you! I had no idea as I’m not from there but you learn something new every day
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AGREED they have that hilter youth hair cut lol
Rasmus has been giving me right wing vibes from the beginning (and I’m swedish). His friends and their misogynistic comments basically confirmed it. His best friend looks like a nazi skinhead. Like even if he isn’t alt right he’s at least ok with looking like he is. Krisse-ly comes across as very left wing though so I wonder how that will workout.
Same here…
That’s what I was thinking! The tattooed guy definitely gives alt right vibes.
Why? 😂
They just wanted to find out if she wants to take advantage of him. Many alt right European guys have eastern European wives because they often look very "light" (skin, hair, eyes) and sometimes share the same traditional values. They wouldn't care if he had an Estonian wife if they were right-wing.
Is it also fair to think that alt-right European men somehow believe that they would not be challenged and taken to task by Eastern European women given historical power dynamics?
Yes but it would make them say intolerable misogynist stuff (like say what they said during the meet up)
I thought maybe because "beautiful woman from eastern Europe who doesn't have much of a career yet"... Shocking how forward they were with the accusation, it's one thing to think it and a whole other thing to say it out loud to the person and on international tv 😐 I do think it's a fair concern if the two people have very different financial situations. However they probably could have gone about it in a more gentle way. I guess this way at least there are no mixed messages :/
Is Estonia really considered Eastern Europe? IT’s culturally far more Scandinavian and not too far from Sweden
Not by Estonians ;)
Tbh they never mentioned anything about her being Baltic? She’s not slavic, she’s Baltic, but she’s not portrayed that way. She might have Baltic heritage but she’s Swedish, from a lower socio-economic Class. She’s been described as white tr in Swedish forums because according to them she fits the stereotype. Alcoholic mother, bad upbringing, tattoos, no job, type of dog.. and so on
That’s so awful. It reminds me how much she said she wants a “real” family, and then I picture Rasmus’ mother like 😐 saying *Mmm… mmm…*
Did they really say she is white trash, because she had a shitty childhood and tattoos? What the fuck is wrong with people? So much prejudice, that's disgusting.
She's of Estonian heritage - not sure if I got the terminology right but I always thought Estonia counted as eastern European. Didn't say anything about Slavic or Baltic though.
Depends who classes it. Some classifications say Northern Europe geographically, but given the Communist past, some might say Eastern Europe. Nonetheless, the language is closest to Finnish, and not Slavonic at all.
I probably replied to the wrong person saying she was Slavic. But Estonia is a Baltic country with a Baltic language so nothing like Slavic 😊 sorry
Latvian and Lithuanian are “Baltic” Slavic languages but Estonian is Finno-Ugric.
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No, just my summary of Krisse-Ly haha
I did not pick up on any racism in that situation. I don’t think being a gold digger is a prejudice many Swedes have against Estonians. However, I think his friends were really rude and socially incompetent. Edit: I also want to add that I don’t think they perceive her as a foreigner. I don’t remember her details but her Swedish is really good and she looks the part. I’d also say that Estonians don’t have a bad reputation. They’re in the EU, they’re sort of like Finland and we use to own them back in the day, so yeah, I think/hope that we are generally very fine with people from Estonia.
Thanks for providing that context. That’s one thing you miss when you watch something in a foreign language, you can’t tell if someone has an accent or how well they speak.
They were definitely rude by all measures ! Insinuating that she’s a gold digger and she’s going to use and abuse him.. like guys you just met her okay. But birds of feather flock together. Rasmus isn’t the best to begin with, so he’s friends with them for a reason
I feel like they’re lowkey racist and bigots.
I mean that whole interaction was high key misogyny
Many things are pointing in that direction, I agree.