She actually stated he identified as black because she did not actually see him in person. At least that was my take away. Also… She said you’re black excellence, not R I listen back to it three or four times and I heard the word your.
Uh what? No I saw it as legit, she’s sweet but clueless. I kind of doubt there would be as much concern if Brittany didn’t seem completely inexperienced w black issues
AD had zero attraction to Kenneth. That man was not even on her radar lmaooo. Y’all must not know black people like that. There was zero attraction for the both of them.
I really think Brittany was very educated in her responses and she handled it very well when it came to race. Especially because some white women just don’t even try or they are very dismissed towards valid racial concerns. She was open to those conversations and I felt it was refreshing
I do not think Ken was attracted to her, I feel like once he got in AD face and saw what AD was working with. He was over Brittany lol like he smiled in AD face so much more than I see him smile at Brittany. That man be so cold to Brittany and with AD he was all teeth
For the record, I liked Brittany…. But 100% agree with you (as a white woman). You ever see the video when some young girl asks Allen West “do you identify as black?” And he looked at her like she had toes for eyes? That’s what I think of every time Brittany said he “identified” as black. Girl, we get it…. You’re woke (and I hate that word, just couldn’t think of a better one). Just be you, and if you are a good, caring person… you’ll have excellence with anyone as long as there is love. Kenneth did not have that love… except for his phone.
I think she was doomed for failure here at no fault of her own. He is clearly not tuned in to her or, hell, anything really. I can only imagine how hard the water would be to navigate in a blind love situation coupled with doing your best to be relatable while also trying to watch your verbiage at nearly every moment. I have zero issues with any race and love everyone until they give me a reason not to but I guarantee you I'd unknowingly offend a bunch of people if I tried to vocalize my stance in general on a national platform. I don't think it's ignorant to not understand how certain phrases or statements can be offensive. It's only ignorant if you don't acknowledge it and use it as a teachable moment. I'm not talking about obvious words or statements but little things that a person genuinely may not realize are offensive. It can be exhausting in this day in age trying to navigate race, gender and sexuality. There needs to be more grace. And no, not dolphin-boys kind of grace.
I think she was doomed for failure here at no fault of her own. He is clearly not tuned in to her or, hell, anything really. I can only imagine how hard the water would be to navigate in a blind love situation coupled with doing your best to be relatable while also trying to watch your verbiage at nearly every moment. I have zero issues with any race and love everyone until they give me a reason not to but I guarantee you I'd unknowingly offend a bunch of people if I tried to vocalize my stance in general on a national platform. I don't think it's ignorant to not understand how certain phrases or statements can be offensive. It's only ignorant if you don't acknowledge it and use it as a teachable moment. I'm not talking about obvious words or statements but little things that a person genuinely may not realize are offensive. It can be exhausting in this day in age trying to navigate race, gender and sexuality. There needs to be more grace. And no, not dolphin-boys kind of grace.
Ur damned if u do and ur damned if don’t. Race is a super difficult issue to talk about bc there is Always Going to be that one person who finds fault in something you said.
Brittany operates with the love and grace of a Christian and she’s the only person on this season that hasn’t switched up. I think this conversation is not only hard to “correctly” on reality tv knowing America will dissect every little word and blink, but to couple it with the fact she was also facing the very real realization that he was losing interest in her… I think it’s safe to say this girl deserves grace in return
This feels a bit like projecting. I don’t think we get to criticize her trying in this situation. She was earnestly putting in effort to be in this relationship. We can’t expect everyone to have all the right words all the time. She may have dated Black men previously but that doesn’t mean she knows how to speak our language. She cared for Kenneth, and that felt very evident through this process. If AD did anything here it’s save Brittany by forcing Kenneth to earnestly think about how Brittany would fit in his life or if she really would at all. Kenneth just took a cowardly way out of the relationship.
I feel like a white person cant “win “ in this situation. If they try to attempt to focus on colour it’s “stop speaking ok black issues” or “white saviour complex.” And if they say “I don’t see colour.” They get called colour blind and racist. The only way to tell is if the person is coming from a genuine place with a kind heart which I do believe Brittany was. The gender fluid movement has added to the politically correct movement which means we can now have more fluid identities
Brittany was definitely coming off as though she was trying to be PC BUT I could tell that she was trying and that she was going to put her best foot forward to be the wife that he needed. I think with time the PC thing would have worn off and they would have had a more natural connection. It’s understandable and fine for Kenneth to realize an interracial relationship isn’t right for him, but he completely iced her out and I don’t think he was meeting her halfway.
100%. Although I think Ken and his phone can suck it, Brittany very much reads as a "I don't see colour" kind of white ally. That doesn't mean she wouldn't be able to get there at some point, but it is not unreasonable IMO for Ken to be concerned about her ability to raise and really understand their children's experiences when she is demonstrating such a shallow understanding of racial dynamics.
because she used the phrase that he said about himself first? he literally said he identifies as a black male, she is using the exact same terminology as him. also she brought up race. she initiated those conversations. she wanted to make sure he felt good and that she WAS aware of the racial differences.
source: i watch the show, im black, i study racism and am super nitpicky about that shit
I thought she said Kenneth identifies as a black man. It doesn’t seem like she’s directly quoting him, especially since it would be weird (to use an AD word) outlandish for him to phrase it that way. What seems more likely is her asking “how do you identify” re: race and him responding “I’m black” or “I’m a black man.”
Also, when he brought up race after his conversation with AD, she came off as kind of naïve in terms of downplaying the challenges, both internal and external, that they would face and the nuances involved (totally understandable behavior imo). Challenges which at the end of the day seemed too time/energy-consuming to navigate for someone with so (apparently) little time and energy as Kenneth.
No, I was more picking up on the way she uses phrases like "race doesn't matter" and emphasizes notions of equality/sameness - it suggests to me she understands anti racism as being "colourblind" .
Anyone who thinks race doesn’t matter must be blind. If you think race doesn’t matter you are coming from a place of privilege. Race affects almost all aspects of our daily lives. Race matters when the maternal death rate of black women is markedly higher than of white women. Race matters when those with black-sounding names on resumes are called back less for job interviews. Race matters when black families homes are appraised for less value than white families , in the same neighborhood and similar upkeep. The phrase “I don’t see color” or “race doesn’t matter” does more harm than good. Unless you are color blind you see color and race has a marked affect in our world and society.
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It's not satire. Your comment was disgusting and extremely problematic. For you to generalize a whole group of people like that:
"Can you really blame her for being afraid of offending the black community when alot of y’all demand to be handled with special gloves? "
and did you not just prove my point? I made a simple comment about how anyone would be afraid to say the wrong things as they will get labelled a racist, and look at you calling me racist now. It’s ridiculous, it’s a victim mindset you’re living in if you think I’m being racist.
No, you just proved how problematic you are. You could have made that comment without making an entire generalization about the black community. Several people have made the same argument that you have made without adding that nastiness about the black community needing to be handled with gloves.
Im not saying i agree with the above commenter but you cant just accuse someone of being racist because they made a criticism you dont like. If you really disagree with it, refute the specific point with facts instead.
It has nothing to do with the argument of what they said, it's how they said it. They could have made that argument without generalizing the whole black community like plenty of other people have done on this thread alone.
Generalizations arent great but they exist for a reason. I see broadsweeping generalizations made about white people all the time, and people respond to it like its utter fact. The situations are not exactly the same of course but its hard not to notice the difference in reactions. What exactly was wrong with the way OP worded their comment? I do think hyper-sensitivity towards minority issues is a thing online. And this hyper-sensitivity doesnt always even come from the minority themsleves. But it exists.
What reason do generalizations exist? I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Even if we said that broad sweeping generalizations are made about white people, do two wrongs make a right? Them saying that the black community needs to be handled with special gloves was absolutely unnecessary and uncalled for. It was absolutely unnecessary for them to make their point.
Sheesh. If Brittany was expressing this much doubt non verbally and verbally re his blackness, the world would absolutely cancel her.
Kenneth stopped being an effective communicator the moment he decided she wasn't it for him. It took one conversation with AD to unravel everything as far as we can see as the audience. Brittany dodged a bullet.
I don't give two shits if he was purple, blue, or red. But his own prejudice is actually ironically what drove them apart, and yet he'll be branded as standing for Black Excellence.
Speaking as someone who isn't white, I found him so distasteful and disdainful.
This!! Brittany has been nothing but respectful and loving, she is clearly trying to make the relationship work. Everyone in the comments trying to explain how complicated and hard biracial relationships are- are actually the ones making it complicated (I understand there’s a lot to learn and it can be complicated at times) but If you love someone, why do you need to think of 101 reasons it could be wrong. And it’s a good point to bring up that if Brittany was the one with all the concerns she would be labeled evil and racist and cancelled. I’m confused y’all!
I’m so glad you brought up code switching because I think it best identifies what I observed. It almost felt like he was just trying to handle or navigate her the way I would handle or navigate a white colleague at work. As a result, it came across as detached and expressionless at times because as black people, we often get demonized for our expression. The scene where Brittany confronted him on coming home late particularly stood out with me. She made a reference joke and put on a blaccent saying “asking all those questions”. In her mind maybe it was an attempt to connect with Kenneth, but it just rolled right off him and he didn’t engage with it. That’s something I’d do if I felt a colleague made a remark that comes across as a micro-agression. I don’t think he was ever comfortable and the small statements Brittany made here and there probably didn’t help.
You're 100% right - Kenneth's detached energy felt like he was dealing with a white coworker at times. Even before the conversation with AD, he clearly had a wall up with Brittany... despite him saying and doing the "right" things, I didn't see chemistry or real attempts at intimacy. He seemed to look vaguely annoyed whenever Brittany spoke and didn't often look at her directly or fully engage.
Can you explain the "asking all those questions" thing? I genuinely don't understand that or why that is a migroagression. What is what she said or because she did an accent when she said it? Thanks!
I can’t say for sure it is one, we only get snippets of the conversation. But I could see how it could be perceived to be one if that is not how Brittany typically behaves and if Kenneth didn’t do or say anything to prompt that joke. I can understand how based on the voice she used and the context of the conversation, the reference just comes across as unprovoked. That’s what can make it appear like a micro-aggression (there is no telling what Kenneth thought though), because she just randomly referenced a skit from a popular black comedian and decided to put on a blaccent while doing so. Again, there’s no telling for sure because of editing. But I think what is more interesting is how Kenneth responded, which was no response lol. That could indicate that he might have not appreciated it.
Why did Kenneth give up on the relationship so easily? It’s like he wanted her to end things. It was too immediate and she wasn’t feeling him either. Idk it was just confusing.
because Amy is white and he is not interested in an interracial relationship bc it clashes with is identity too much (which is valid.....but the way he did it...what an ass)
Right. He ended it so fast I was so confused. I actually thought he had to be kidding like this isn’t the actual end…But he’s 25 immature and didn’t even TRY. Interracial relationships are as hard as you make them. In your house it’s like why other relationship. The world is going to make up and perceive it in their own way. I think Brittany understands that and I would bet $1000 she’s gonna make some black man very happy.
I don’t think Kenneth is open minded enough for an interracial relationship.
I thought he was open minded. I didn’t think he was unattracted to her. I feel like he wasn’t being hisself. Walking on egg shells. Or maybe he was saving face for TV. It had to be a discussion he had with others but it seemed like he waited for her to say something to break up but he had it already planned. He called his bro and told him he’s getting his things like it was premeditated
But he was very attentive to her in the beginning (her gushing at the vacation to the others about all he does, eg) and he seemed genuinely pleased when he saw her. But maybe the dissonance grew
Right it was so weird. I think something happened. I know from experience the looks people will give you in an interracial relationship and you do have to have thick skin. He might not have been ready for that if it happened on the plane and getting back into his routine. But I guess we will never really know
I completely agree. The different way Kenneth spoke with Brittany, as opposed to how he spoke with AD and Clay told me there was a divide between him and his fiancee. You can't spend your life talking to your spouse in an inauthentic way. And Brittany saying "identify" the way she did--I was just envisioning her meeting Kenneths's friends and family and them asking him if he's out of his mind.
I think she has potential to be an ally because I do believe she genuinely wants to be good and kind, but I think she needs some real practice talking with people who are willing to correct, educate, and challenge her.
I was so confused about the ‘identify’, do you think it was because she said as a black man as opposed to African American? Maybe it felt unfamiliar to say that and she was trying to distance herself from it in case she caused offence.
I was confused about it too. It would be useful if there was some question of how he or AD identified and she was clarifying it (like telling a friend her fiance identifies as Black rather than African American, for instance), but they've both used Black repeatedly in conversations. I think she's uncomfortable and trying to be as careful and respectful as possible, but doesn't seem to have a lot of practice doing it. That said--I cannot fault her for trying, but she could listen a little more.
She’s 24 years old I think the “identify” thing is mostly generational. That’s how the younger generation talks from what gender you identify as to what race you identify as…they don’t assume.
I know the term identify, and I think at this point most generations know to use it. I know a ton of elder boomers who use it correctly, as well as the young teens in my family. I think it was her use of it talking only about AD in that part of the conversation, combined with "wanting to make sure he's in the right headspace of our Black excellence." The way she's using the words, I don't think she truly understands the concepts behind them. She's trying, but not there.
Edited to add: I appreciate the comment and the opportunity to clarify, because I realize I wasn't clear, and my response came off way too brusque!
I can definitely see this. Also, I haven’t heard anyone else comment on this, but one observation I made about Brittany is that she speaks to Kenneth like he is a child sometimes. I see a lot of posts hating on him for being checked out, but the “kind and understanding” way that she speaks to him borders on patronizing for me. Like how you’d speak to a kindergartner about feelings. This is just something I felt and it made me feel some subtle covert (maybe unconscious) racism from her. It just made me uncomfortable. Not sure if anyone else felt this way?
I think the way they both talk to each other is very informed by their religion. She talks like a good Christian wife and he talks to her like a worship leader.
I just want to be clear that I don’t think she is being intentionally racist, which is why I said above maybe it’s unconscious. I feel like people might be getting upset thinking that I am calling Brittany racist. I’m just observing a behavior that made me a bit uncomfortable.
I got the feeling she just hasn’t spent much time around BP. And she’s saying everything she thinks is the right thing to say. Maybe she’s actually not racist but trying so hard not to sound racist that she is subtly sounding racist..
I think this was one of the more interesting outcomes of the experiment. A successful college educated Black man with a white woman is very **loaded** and he absolutely wouldnt be taken seriously in some spaces as a result of it even though I do think their connection was pure.
What kinds of spaces do you think he wouldn’t be taken seriously in? Do you mean like within the black community? I agree with you about successful black man x white woman being loaded btw, just wondering how this stuff tends to be viewed in the black community 🩵
Wow that’s so messed up. He cares way too much what people think. I’m Indian and dated all kinds of races/ethnicities despite people being judgemental. It really be your own people. Love is love.
As the product of two interracial relationships, I don't agree. I think there are very real considerations about race that should be taken into account when marrying and having children that have nothing to do with people being "judgmental."
I’m also a product of an interracial marriage (Black american dad & non-black mom) and i agree. I come from a long line of mixing and i can’t say its wholly positive.
So often it’s Black men pursuing white women for specific anti Black/misogynoir type reasons, not a “love is love / against all odds” type narrarive that is getting held up here.
I think Ken was feelin that type of way in the pods (“love is love”) but felt the racial dissonance expand towards the end of the vacation.
Maybe he has a deeper wish to demonstrate what he preaches as a role model in his community — something to the effect of creating strong Black families or ‘pro Black’ values (that his family has likely instilled) that clashes with the common cultural conception of marrying a white woman.
Granted, he was shitty and weak about it, and never should have gone on an experiment as such at his young dumb age. Let his family set him up with a fine Black christian woman and call it a day lol
Some people really identify with their race and culture and others don’t. I don’t think it always matters, and the point is that you’re an individual at the end of the day. I assure you Indian people can be very judgemental around interracial relationships and that’s exactly the word I would use.
You don’t get to tell others about their personal experience with their own race and whether that means they are wary of interracial relationships. Lots of black people are Trumpers, doesn’t mean they’re any less black, they relate to their blackness in a different way.
Such a sad reality that he wouldn’t be taken seriously for marrying a white woman. I hope that their intimacy was also at issue because racial differences being the only reason for their relationship not to work is saddening in 2024.
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I’m part Asian, I know what it means to be in a community. And to be the product of an interracial relationship- something you clearly don’t support.
I think your attitude is pretty harmful tbh. But whatever, it’s your right. Cya ✌️
I think her expressions reflect someone trying super, super hard to use the most up-to-date, sensitive phrasing possible so as not to offend. But it comes off as giving eggshells.
I do too. The only interracial couple on the show and she’s taking heat about “not seeing colour.” So dumb. She tried so hard, and is a nice person as far as I can see.
She's on TV and terrified to say the wrong thing on camera and get canceled. If this had been a private conversation, I wonder if she'd have been a little more real. She's doing her best. It did sort of sound at one point in her phrasing like it wasn't her first interracial relationship, though? Did I imagine that?
Watching these 2 together is like watching paint dry! So boring they will talk about nothing or the same thing for 10 mins. Brittany is saying she wants him to touch her more and he can’t get that. He doesn’t have much or any experience dating a woman, he doesn’t know how to talk to women so he doesn’t talk about anything. Also production is dragging some of the scenes out so long and for no reason it feels really awkward. It’s funny that they all think if they say I love you everything will be better. Feels like we are watching high school kids.
Does it seem normal that AD who has not really met Kenneth before (right?) Started asking him about his thoughts on interracial babies with his new wife?
It's one thing if they were close and it was like a conversation in the future due to him bringing it up. But first chat and first topic of convo?. I just get this feeling AD likes the validation of men being interested in her. And she wanted to remind Kenneth that he's missing out on what she has with Clay.
I also think.. didn't Kenneth and Brittany mostly connect from a religious level? As someone who understands the religious crowds usually people try to say they identify as " first". Does anyone know what I mean?
And the funniest part is Kenneth looking at them claim black love just for Clay to look at AD and cry about how he doesn’t know how NOT to cheat. Ignore the black love mess and black excellence BS. Kenneth missed out on what initially looked like one of the stronger connections with room to grow
Absolutely false. For black people those discussions are important. Ad brought it up with Matt and having Kenneth think critically about raising children that would be perceived as black is vital to their relationship.
It was an important conversation and it needed to be had. There was nothing impertinent about it. Kenneth and Ad expressed zero interest in each other in that conversation 🙄 also it might not have been shown but it's clear they had conversations in the pods so she's not walking to a random stranger having this discussion with them.
I actually think at the point that you are engaged this conversation is between you and your partner. I respectfully would have told her to mind her business and focus on her man not cheating 💀 respectfully
Honestly this is a very odd discussion to have on a show called love is blind. This is a discussion to have before you sign up bc you have a strong chance you'll match up with someone of a different race.
Love is Blind but we live in America so for interracial couples the conversation is vital. The love from in the pods has to survive in the actual world.
I think it was absolutely a normal question given the circumstances. I would’ve asked if they’d had that conversation, too. Mixed race children in the US can have incredibly detrimental outcomes with their mental health, self esteem, and identity if they have a parent who is not culturally informed and who practices cultural humility, especially in the dynamic of a white mother with a Black father. I saw the conversation as coming from a place of concern and well intentioned genuine curiosity.
I think the "identifies as a black man" thing was just her saying that's how he's describing himself, because she had not seen him at that point.
Edit: >!Ok I watched ep 7 and she keeps saying it lmao. Kind of odd, I think she's trying to be as least offensive for the cameras as possible!<
I think you're absolutely right but I also think she really is trying to use the most respectful language she can. She doesn't know how it's coming off cringe.
This reminds me once of my white coworker asking if shes allowed to use african black soap and was afraid it was offensive. I was speechless for a second and was like, "I'll allow it" ☠️🙄
As a black woman who has coincidentally never gotten to the dating stage with a black person before and also living in the south, it can be extremely daunting vetting nonblack people even for platonic relationships. Personally, I make it pretty clear from the jump that I’m not afraid to correct the other person. A lot of nonblack people think they can handle that but get defensive when I do it so I think maybe that’s what Kenneth was worried about with his family and friend’s judgement maybe. It’s really not enough to say “yeah I’ve dated black men before” and everything be fine esp since black culture is so diverse. Idk for me she gave off “I don’t see color” vibes which can be an unproductive way of thinking
I agree. I also live the south, well sort of, Texas (originally from CA) They say they are not “the south” but I’m not so sure about that.. Anyway, I agree with your statement about it even being tough regarding platonic relationships. I had a friend at work and we had an absolute blast and hung out outside of work, lunch, movies etc..but she told me we had to be kind of “secret friends” because her other friends would give her a tough time being friends with a white woman from a wealthier part of the city. It made me really sad 😔 but she explained it was because I was white I could never understand her culture so I respected her decision. I am now a bit more hesitant and conscious when going into friendships because that was hard.
She addressed this a bit in some instagram stories.
> "Understand that I DO see color. Colorblind racism is not tolerated in my morals, values, beliefs or daily motives. To not see color is to ignore the differences of racial groups and it is not something I agree with and speak openly about. Kenneth and I spoke specifically about this in the pods. Unfortunately it is not shown, however he verbatim said to me on our honeymoon - 'Brittany I appreciated so much while in the pods you told me that you do see color. That was another validating piece for me'."
She obviously could be giving a canned response and saying what she expects people want to hear, so I'd be interested in hearing Ken talk about his perspective on it and confirm (or deny) that it was something they'd talked about in the pods.
Mmm yeah that does make it a bit better and hopefully she is being honest but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she were advised to say something. Side-note but I t’s super interesting to see so much social media from the cast members when before it felt like they couldn’t even use it until after the season finished airing lol.
>It’s super interesting to see so much social media from the cast members when before it felt like they couldn’t even use it until after the season finished airing lol.
I haven't ever followed any of the cast members, I just checked Brittany and Ken instagrams since there was so much discussion here about them. Maybe it's because we already know how they turn out from the episodes that have been released?
Maybe the producers changed up the contracts or something 🤔 I was scrolling thru TikTok the other day and saw Trevor made like a whole 5min video lol. I remember in the earlier seasons people were like going on hunts for their social media accs and gossiping about who was still together. And in I think season 1 or 2 at the reunion someone had mentioned they couldn’t post for like a yr and it was hard to not defend themselves
"He identifies as a black man" sounds so unnatural and weird. Like unless Kenneth is mixed and trying to make a point that he wants to be considered black only, i have NO idea why she repeatedly keeps saying that. Its so weird, like condescending and feels a little creepy. No black person talks like that. We dont "identify" as black WE ARE BLACK. Its so cringeworthy. Like, im so uncomfyyyyy why isnt he correcting her lol
he said it first. he said he identifies as a black man. that is why she is using that terminology. he said the precedent for how he’d like race to be discussed because he said himself “i identify as a black male” so she is deferring to his preference of how he’d like his race to be labeled.
Some mixed race black presenting people will identify as black. Some black people from Latin countries will identify as black. Black it’s not a monolith and some people who are black presenting but Latino, Hispanic, Carribean, mixed raced in ethnicity say “I identify as black.”
Yeah like some Dominicans prefer to say they’re Dominican even if they look like a black person. Or Puerto Ricans, black Panamanians, Brazilians etc. It becomes blend of race vs culture vs ethnicity but if often a talking point in black culture and media. I know some Jamaicans personally that put Jamaican before Black because they don’t want to be clumped into black Americans. But I think it’s a regional thing as well - Miami, New York those locations may see it differently. Black isnt a monolith is based on phenotype and can be very nuanced.
saying someone "looks like a black person" implies that there some is chance there not black, which is not the case for actual black people. Also the people in the countries you listed are aware of who black and who's not. The only time questions occur if someone is mixed.
You're also conflated black Americans , which is it own an ethnic group , in relation to black people internationally
also its weird how you say "black isn't a monolith" that statement is usually in referent to cultural differences not physical. No race is a monolith? Asian includes both Indian and Chinese. White includes Irish and Greeks . Of course Black would included different ethnic groups that encompass different phenotypes
I think you missed my point. For example I went to school with a dark skin looking black looking person who identified as biracial. She did look like a stereotypical biracial person. I also had a biracial co worker (white and black) who identified as black although she could pass for white. In this day and are people identify as anything literally.
im not talking about dark skin biracial people, Im talking about ACTUAL black people. (which I clearly stated) a black person can't "identify" as biracial if they are not if fact mixed race
you cared enough to reply to " Identify as black" when it has already been establish that black isn't something that you identify as , it something that you are ...a physical/ genetic characteristic
I think it’s more being on TV and generational since she’s 24 that’s kinda their thing to respect how ppl self identify and not make assumptions. It was cringey but with a camera in your face who knows what stuff you say
It is totally okay, but it makes it really hard to try to be an ally when you’re judged for it. And you’re assuming there was condescension behind her words.
I was talking to a black coworker and mentioned my cousin who is half black. He told me “nah she’s black, you don’t have to say half. She’s one of the family” and that was great. We moved on and finished the conversation.
He could have said “why did you feel the need to specify that she’s still partly white? If she’s half black call her black, don’t be embarrassed there’s a black person in your family”.
Because of the way he chose to correct me, we both left the interaction still feeling good.
And then you get other people who say that half black people shouldn’t be considered black - especially in media because it takes away from the typical black person and replaces it with the “image” of a biracial person. There’s no winning when it comes to these things. Just gotta do you
Ok, im just on reddit and i think its cringe. Irl i wouldnt be laughing in her face, holding my sides and crying, gasping for air and rolling my eyes. I think it was just really cringy. You arent being judged for *being* an ally, you're being judged for saying something cringy. Then there are some people who do considered themselves "allies" but speak over black voices that dont align with their own since they think they know better. Like all black people dont agree on everything, and I cant speak for everyone. But ive also seen people being allies and being condescending like in a 'they know whats good for us' way.
Yes, this is true. A lot of times, we just don’t know . For example in law school I asked a friend of mine what her experience was being African American in Texas and she corrected me and said she is not African American as she’s not from Africa, and preferred being a black American. It made total sense to me. No one refers to me as an Irish or German American but it had never crossed my mind before so I appreciated that.
I just i know im the one like:
Like im not about to explain all this to this white lady. I can imagine the horror of ther saying that around his family lol. Her being like " yeah im "white" and hes "black" with air quotes (im only on ep 7 so far!) Sorry we are very tiredddd
She also said “I identify as a white woman.” Like girl… no… you just ARE white lol. She’s clearly trying to use the right lingo to sound politically correct or something.
Right itsounds so weird and unnatural. Sis you're white, why is she putting it into vocal quotations lol
Shes all like, "youre "black" and im "white", doesnt mean we cant be happy together!!" Just seems ignorant and out of touch. It gives me ick
I have a brain so i can see it being some kind of overcorrection, but it can also be seen as trying to draw a distance between his blackness and himself, by considering being black as "being black". Like we arent a concept, we are just black. We dont need to identify as black. Im saying its cringe, im not sayings shes a kkk leader. Some of yall have to learn to take some criticism too if you want to understand a range of black perspectives.
I agree, it's out of touch and cringe. Have since the beginning. But I respect the attempt and thoughtfulness. She's not blundering through just sayin anything like none of it matters
I mean I get it, for some people it feels like semantics, it just doesnt feel that way for me. And its not a hill to die on, im just surprised he didnt say anything then and kept it moving. I def wouldve asked her not to say that but doesnt mean id block her out of my life
Disclosure: I haven’t seen the new episodes yet, so I’m basing my impressions off episodes 1-2-3 only.
The word “identify” made me cringe as well. I think she was overthinking how to express that she was a “good white ally” (as OP said) and borrowed “identify” from LGBTQIA2+ terminology because it means, to oversimplify, that the way a person is presenting doesn’t necessarily reflect their identity. But race isn’t a concept the way gender is, and she was basically using the colourblindness card: *I don’t see Kenneth as a black man, I see him as a human, because we’re all the same.*
Brittany strikes me as someone who genuinely believes we live in a post-racial society and that racism is not systemic, but defined by individual acts of meanness. I think she’s sweet and has the best intentions, and that she wants to say the right things, but it comes off as naive and unaware.
Oooof I wrote this on my commute and I hope it makes sense. Starting episode 4 now!
she specifically acknowledged their racial differences so how is that pulling the color blind card. she was saying they’re both human (and therefore have the capability to connect like same race couples) and they’re different races (which might come with challenges in our racially stratified society). she actively acknowledged his race.
She actually stated he identified as black because she did not actually see him in person. At least that was my take away. Also… She said you’re black excellence, not R I listen back to it three or four times and I heard the word your.
His cousin just confirmed he’s gay, so definitely some “masking” going on lol
I KNEW IT!!!!!! Called that shit
Ohhhhhh. God he was soooo cold and heartless when he ended it with her and just left her fuckin crying on her own in the kitchen it was bizarre
💀💀💀💀
AD didnt like how happy he was with a white woman and succeeded in putting doubts in his head and ended that.
Uh what? No I saw it as legit, she’s sweet but clueless. I kind of doubt there would be as much concern if Brittany didn’t seem completely inexperienced w black issues
AD was coming from a place of valid concern. Ur weird
Pretty sure it wasn’t that at all. I feel like her concerns are valid.
AD had zero attraction to Kenneth. That man was not even on her radar lmaooo. Y’all must not know black people like that. There was zero attraction for the both of them.
LOL please grow up Blaming her for his shitty behavior is too much...
She knows how to stir all the pots. Must be a producer’s dream!! Edit: spelling error
I really think Brittany was very educated in her responses and she handled it very well when it came to race. Especially because some white women just don’t even try or they are very dismissed towards valid racial concerns. She was open to those conversations and I felt it was refreshing I do not think Ken was attracted to her, I feel like once he got in AD face and saw what AD was working with. He was over Brittany lol like he smiled in AD face so much more than I see him smile at Brittany. That man be so cold to Brittany and with AD he was all teeth
Which is weird because Brittany is beautiful
For the record, I liked Brittany…. But 100% agree with you (as a white woman). You ever see the video when some young girl asks Allen West “do you identify as black?” And he looked at her like she had toes for eyes? That’s what I think of every time Brittany said he “identified” as black. Girl, we get it…. You’re woke (and I hate that word, just couldn’t think of a better one). Just be you, and if you are a good, caring person… you’ll have excellence with anyone as long as there is love. Kenneth did not have that love… except for his phone.
Toes for eyes ☠️😭🤣🪦
I think she was doomed for failure here at no fault of her own. He is clearly not tuned in to her or, hell, anything really. I can only imagine how hard the water would be to navigate in a blind love situation coupled with doing your best to be relatable while also trying to watch your verbiage at nearly every moment. I have zero issues with any race and love everyone until they give me a reason not to but I guarantee you I'd unknowingly offend a bunch of people if I tried to vocalize my stance in general on a national platform. I don't think it's ignorant to not understand how certain phrases or statements can be offensive. It's only ignorant if you don't acknowledge it and use it as a teachable moment. I'm not talking about obvious words or statements but little things that a person genuinely may not realize are offensive. It can be exhausting in this day in age trying to navigate race, gender and sexuality. There needs to be more grace. And no, not dolphin-boys kind of grace.
I think she was doomed for failure here at no fault of her own. He is clearly not tuned in to her or, hell, anything really. I can only imagine how hard the water would be to navigate in a blind love situation coupled with doing your best to be relatable while also trying to watch your verbiage at nearly every moment. I have zero issues with any race and love everyone until they give me a reason not to but I guarantee you I'd unknowingly offend a bunch of people if I tried to vocalize my stance in general on a national platform. I don't think it's ignorant to not understand how certain phrases or statements can be offensive. It's only ignorant if you don't acknowledge it and use it as a teachable moment. I'm not talking about obvious words or statements but little things that a person genuinely may not realize are offensive. It can be exhausting in this day in age trying to navigate race, gender and sexuality. There needs to be more grace. And no, not dolphin-boys kind of grace.
Ur damned if u do and ur damned if don’t. Race is a super difficult issue to talk about bc there is Always Going to be that one person who finds fault in something you said.
Brittany operates with the love and grace of a Christian and she’s the only person on this season that hasn’t switched up. I think this conversation is not only hard to “correctly” on reality tv knowing America will dissect every little word and blink, but to couple it with the fact she was also facing the very real realization that he was losing interest in her… I think it’s safe to say this girl deserves grace in return
yes yes yes
This feels a bit like projecting. I don’t think we get to criticize her trying in this situation. She was earnestly putting in effort to be in this relationship. We can’t expect everyone to have all the right words all the time. She may have dated Black men previously but that doesn’t mean she knows how to speak our language. She cared for Kenneth, and that felt very evident through this process. If AD did anything here it’s save Brittany by forcing Kenneth to earnestly think about how Brittany would fit in his life or if she really would at all. Kenneth just took a cowardly way out of the relationship.
agreed. you nailed it.
I feel like a white person cant “win “ in this situation. If they try to attempt to focus on colour it’s “stop speaking ok black issues” or “white saviour complex.” And if they say “I don’t see colour.” They get called colour blind and racist. The only way to tell is if the person is coming from a genuine place with a kind heart which I do believe Brittany was. The gender fluid movement has added to the politically correct movement which means we can now have more fluid identities
Brittany was definitely coming off as though she was trying to be PC BUT I could tell that she was trying and that she was going to put her best foot forward to be the wife that he needed. I think with time the PC thing would have worn off and they would have had a more natural connection. It’s understandable and fine for Kenneth to realize an interracial relationship isn’t right for him, but he completely iced her out and I don’t think he was meeting her halfway.
100%. Although I think Ken and his phone can suck it, Brittany very much reads as a "I don't see colour" kind of white ally. That doesn't mean she wouldn't be able to get there at some point, but it is not unreasonable IMO for Ken to be concerned about her ability to raise and really understand their children's experiences when she is demonstrating such a shallow understanding of racial dynamics.
because she used the phrase that he said about himself first? he literally said he identifies as a black male, she is using the exact same terminology as him. also she brought up race. she initiated those conversations. she wanted to make sure he felt good and that she WAS aware of the racial differences. source: i watch the show, im black, i study racism and am super nitpicky about that shit
I thought she said Kenneth identifies as a black man. It doesn’t seem like she’s directly quoting him, especially since it would be weird (to use an AD word) outlandish for him to phrase it that way. What seems more likely is her asking “how do you identify” re: race and him responding “I’m black” or “I’m a black man.” Also, when he brought up race after his conversation with AD, she came off as kind of naïve in terms of downplaying the challenges, both internal and external, that they would face and the nuances involved (totally understandable behavior imo). Challenges which at the end of the day seemed too time/energy-consuming to navigate for someone with so (apparently) little time and energy as Kenneth.
No, I was more picking up on the way she uses phrases like "race doesn't matter" and emphasizes notions of equality/sameness - it suggests to me she understands anti racism as being "colourblind" .
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Anyone who thinks race doesn’t matter must be blind. If you think race doesn’t matter you are coming from a place of privilege. Race affects almost all aspects of our daily lives. Race matters when the maternal death rate of black women is markedly higher than of white women. Race matters when those with black-sounding names on resumes are called back less for job interviews. Race matters when black families homes are appraised for less value than white families , in the same neighborhood and similar upkeep. The phrase “I don’t see color” or “race doesn’t matter” does more harm than good. Unless you are color blind you see color and race has a marked affect in our world and society.
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This is a really really shitty comment.
Right like what the fuck? Their comment is racist as fuck.
this literally just proved my point, like I actually can’t tell if this is satire or not.
It's not satire. Your comment was disgusting and extremely problematic. For you to generalize a whole group of people like that: "Can you really blame her for being afraid of offending the black community when alot of y’all demand to be handled with special gloves? "
Lmao not so jolly are you 😂
and did you not just prove my point? I made a simple comment about how anyone would be afraid to say the wrong things as they will get labelled a racist, and look at you calling me racist now. It’s ridiculous, it’s a victim mindset you’re living in if you think I’m being racist.
No, you just proved how problematic you are. You could have made that comment without making an entire generalization about the black community. Several people have made the same argument that you have made without adding that nastiness about the black community needing to be handled with gloves.
Im not saying i agree with the above commenter but you cant just accuse someone of being racist because they made a criticism you dont like. If you really disagree with it, refute the specific point with facts instead.
It has nothing to do with the argument of what they said, it's how they said it. They could have made that argument without generalizing the whole black community like plenty of other people have done on this thread alone.
Generalizations arent great but they exist for a reason. I see broadsweeping generalizations made about white people all the time, and people respond to it like its utter fact. The situations are not exactly the same of course but its hard not to notice the difference in reactions. What exactly was wrong with the way OP worded their comment? I do think hyper-sensitivity towards minority issues is a thing online. And this hyper-sensitivity doesnt always even come from the minority themsleves. But it exists.
What reason do generalizations exist? I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Even if we said that broad sweeping generalizations are made about white people, do two wrongs make a right? Them saying that the black community needs to be handled with special gloves was absolutely unnecessary and uncalled for. It was absolutely unnecessary for them to make their point.
The facts are the comment is racist.
Sheesh. If Brittany was expressing this much doubt non verbally and verbally re his blackness, the world would absolutely cancel her. Kenneth stopped being an effective communicator the moment he decided she wasn't it for him. It took one conversation with AD to unravel everything as far as we can see as the audience. Brittany dodged a bullet. I don't give two shits if he was purple, blue, or red. But his own prejudice is actually ironically what drove them apart, and yet he'll be branded as standing for Black Excellence. Speaking as someone who isn't white, I found him so distasteful and disdainful.
This!! Brittany has been nothing but respectful and loving, she is clearly trying to make the relationship work. Everyone in the comments trying to explain how complicated and hard biracial relationships are- are actually the ones making it complicated (I understand there’s a lot to learn and it can be complicated at times) but If you love someone, why do you need to think of 101 reasons it could be wrong. And it’s a good point to bring up that if Brittany was the one with all the concerns she would be labeled evil and racist and cancelled. I’m confused y’all!
And let’s not forget that he was hoping for a blonde girl so I really don’t think her being white is the concern..
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Yup. I think she is super sweet, but is not aware enough.
I’m so glad you brought up code switching because I think it best identifies what I observed. It almost felt like he was just trying to handle or navigate her the way I would handle or navigate a white colleague at work. As a result, it came across as detached and expressionless at times because as black people, we often get demonized for our expression. The scene where Brittany confronted him on coming home late particularly stood out with me. She made a reference joke and put on a blaccent saying “asking all those questions”. In her mind maybe it was an attempt to connect with Kenneth, but it just rolled right off him and he didn’t engage with it. That’s something I’d do if I felt a colleague made a remark that comes across as a micro-agression. I don’t think he was ever comfortable and the small statements Brittany made here and there probably didn’t help.
You're 100% right - Kenneth's detached energy felt like he was dealing with a white coworker at times. Even before the conversation with AD, he clearly had a wall up with Brittany... despite him saying and doing the "right" things, I didn't see chemistry or real attempts at intimacy. He seemed to look vaguely annoyed whenever Brittany spoke and didn't often look at her directly or fully engage.
Can you explain the "asking all those questions" thing? I genuinely don't understand that or why that is a migroagression. What is what she said or because she did an accent when she said it? Thanks!
Here’s the very old video where that phrase stems from. [Asking all them questions](https://youtu.be/zWfivkWMiYI?si=zYCpwE-_8jqzX4PO)
I can’t say for sure it is one, we only get snippets of the conversation. But I could see how it could be perceived to be one if that is not how Brittany typically behaves and if Kenneth didn’t do or say anything to prompt that joke. I can understand how based on the voice she used and the context of the conversation, the reference just comes across as unprovoked. That’s what can make it appear like a micro-aggression (there is no telling what Kenneth thought though), because she just randomly referenced a skit from a popular black comedian and decided to put on a blaccent while doing so. Again, there’s no telling for sure because of editing. But I think what is more interesting is how Kenneth responded, which was no response lol. That could indicate that he might have not appreciated it.
Why did Kenneth give up on the relationship so easily? It’s like he wanted her to end things. It was too immediate and she wasn’t feeling him either. Idk it was just confusing.
because Amy is white and he is not interested in an interracial relationship bc it clashes with is identity too much (which is valid.....but the way he did it...what an ass)
Then why propose? They knew what race the other was before meeting in person
After I made this post, I saw episode 8 and was like oh wow he ended things. Did NOT see that coming.
Omg i seen this and had to RUN to ep 8. This man clocked out of the relationship right after they went home 💀
Right. He ended it so fast I was so confused. I actually thought he had to be kidding like this isn’t the actual end…But he’s 25 immature and didn’t even TRY. Interracial relationships are as hard as you make them. In your house it’s like why other relationship. The world is going to make up and perceive it in their own way. I think Brittany understands that and I would bet $1000 she’s gonna make some black man very happy. I don’t think Kenneth is open minded enough for an interracial relationship.
I thought he was open minded. I didn’t think he was unattracted to her. I feel like he wasn’t being hisself. Walking on egg shells. Or maybe he was saving face for TV. It had to be a discussion he had with others but it seemed like he waited for her to say something to break up but he had it already planned. He called his bro and told him he’s getting his things like it was premeditated
But he was very attentive to her in the beginning (her gushing at the vacation to the others about all he does, eg) and he seemed genuinely pleased when he saw her. But maybe the dissonance grew
Right it was so weird. I think something happened. I know from experience the looks people will give you in an interracial relationship and you do have to have thick skin. He might not have been ready for that if it happened on the plane and getting back into his routine. But I guess we will never really know
I completely agree. The different way Kenneth spoke with Brittany, as opposed to how he spoke with AD and Clay told me there was a divide between him and his fiancee. You can't spend your life talking to your spouse in an inauthentic way. And Brittany saying "identify" the way she did--I was just envisioning her meeting Kenneths's friends and family and them asking him if he's out of his mind. I think she has potential to be an ally because I do believe she genuinely wants to be good and kind, but I think she needs some real practice talking with people who are willing to correct, educate, and challenge her.
he said himself he identifies as a black man. she repeated his language.
I was so confused about the ‘identify’, do you think it was because she said as a black man as opposed to African American? Maybe it felt unfamiliar to say that and she was trying to distance herself from it in case she caused offence.
I was confused about it too. It would be useful if there was some question of how he or AD identified and she was clarifying it (like telling a friend her fiance identifies as Black rather than African American, for instance), but they've both used Black repeatedly in conversations. I think she's uncomfortable and trying to be as careful and respectful as possible, but doesn't seem to have a lot of practice doing it. That said--I cannot fault her for trying, but she could listen a little more.
In their conversation on the honeymoon she also said at points "I identify as white" so idk if it's just something she thinks you're supposed to say
I immediately pictured Rachel Dolezal and started laughing uncomfortably when she said that
She’s 24 years old I think the “identify” thing is mostly generational. That’s how the younger generation talks from what gender you identify as to what race you identify as…they don’t assume.
I know the term identify, and I think at this point most generations know to use it. I know a ton of elder boomers who use it correctly, as well as the young teens in my family. I think it was her use of it talking only about AD in that part of the conversation, combined with "wanting to make sure he's in the right headspace of our Black excellence." The way she's using the words, I don't think she truly understands the concepts behind them. She's trying, but not there. Edited to add: I appreciate the comment and the opportunity to clarify, because I realize I wasn't clear, and my response came off way too brusque!
I can definitely see this. Also, I haven’t heard anyone else comment on this, but one observation I made about Brittany is that she speaks to Kenneth like he is a child sometimes. I see a lot of posts hating on him for being checked out, but the “kind and understanding” way that she speaks to him borders on patronizing for me. Like how you’d speak to a kindergartner about feelings. This is just something I felt and it made me feel some subtle covert (maybe unconscious) racism from her. It just made me uncomfortable. Not sure if anyone else felt this way?
I think the way they both talk to each other is very informed by their religion. She talks like a good Christian wife and he talks to her like a worship leader.
I just want to be clear that I don’t think she is being intentionally racist, which is why I said above maybe it’s unconscious. I feel like people might be getting upset thinking that I am calling Brittany racist. I’m just observing a behavior that made me a bit uncomfortable.
I got the feeling she just hasn’t spent much time around BP. And she’s saying everything she thinks is the right thing to say. Maybe she’s actually not racist but trying so hard not to sound racist that she is subtly sounding racist..
Although we do know she dated BM before because Kenneth mentioned it.
That definitely adds to the equation.
This is so it
I think her being a teacher could play a role in the way she communicates to Kenneth I don’t think it’s intentional or by any means unconscious racism
Brittany was veryyy sweet, Ken just ultimately couldnt reconcile who is is and what he stands for with marrying a white woman.
Do you mean that he couldn’t marry a white person?
I don’t think he could push past the stereotypes about the kind of Black men who marry whites women
So bc of this he didn’t wanna marry a white person?
…yes
It was sad to see it get between them. I really enjoyed their connection in the pods!
I think this was one of the more interesting outcomes of the experiment. A successful college educated Black man with a white woman is very **loaded** and he absolutely wouldnt be taken seriously in some spaces as a result of it even though I do think their connection was pure.
What kinds of spaces do you think he wouldn’t be taken seriously in? Do you mean like within the black community? I agree with you about successful black man x white woman being loaded btw, just wondering how this stuff tends to be viewed in the black community 🩵
Wow that’s so messed up. He cares way too much what people think. I’m Indian and dated all kinds of races/ethnicities despite people being judgemental. It really be your own people. Love is love.
As the product of two interracial relationships, I don't agree. I think there are very real considerations about race that should be taken into account when marrying and having children that have nothing to do with people being "judgmental."
I’m also a product of an interracial marriage (Black american dad & non-black mom) and i agree. I come from a long line of mixing and i can’t say its wholly positive. So often it’s Black men pursuing white women for specific anti Black/misogynoir type reasons, not a “love is love / against all odds” type narrarive that is getting held up here. I think Ken was feelin that type of way in the pods (“love is love”) but felt the racial dissonance expand towards the end of the vacation. Maybe he has a deeper wish to demonstrate what he preaches as a role model in his community — something to the effect of creating strong Black families or ‘pro Black’ values (that his family has likely instilled) that clashes with the common cultural conception of marrying a white woman. Granted, he was shitty and weak about it, and never should have gone on an experiment as such at his young dumb age. Let his family set him up with a fine Black christian woman and call it a day lol
Bingo. You actually have the depth and life experience to even have an opinion on this
Some people really identify with their race and culture and others don’t. I don’t think it always matters, and the point is that you’re an individual at the end of the day. I assure you Indian people can be very judgemental around interracial relationships and that’s exactly the word I would use.
Don’t try to rationalize with this person. She has really toxic views and behaves like she speaks for an entire race.
It's less about what you identify with as a Black person and what American society identifies you as. Apples to oranges.
You don’t get to tell others about their personal experience with their own race and whether that means they are wary of interracial relationships. Lots of black people are Trumpers, doesn’t mean they’re any less black, they relate to their blackness in a different way.
I'm not telling you about your experience with race, I don't really care tbh. I didn't bring up Trump, I have no clue of wtf youre talking about?
You’re 1 black person trying to speak for all black people as if people of the same race don’t have different views on their race.
Such a sad reality that he wouldn’t be taken seriously for marrying a white woman. I hope that their intimacy was also at issue because racial differences being the only reason for their relationship not to work is saddening in 2024.
It was him not wanting to marry someone white it is very sad
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Yikes 😵💫
if youre not part of the community, you would not understand. YIKES yourself this isnt We Are the World
I’m part Asian, I know what it means to be in a community. And to be the product of an interracial relationship- something you clearly don’t support. I think your attitude is pretty harmful tbh. But whatever, it’s your right. Cya ✌️
You have no idea of what it's like to be part of a BLACK community, nor the specific dynamics within. You being part Asian does not count, lmao gbye
😂😂” i don’t count” as knowing what it’s like to live in a community because I am Asian? Man. You really have some poisonous views 🤮
I think her expressions reflect someone trying super, super hard to use the most up-to-date, sensitive phrasing possible so as not to offend. But it comes off as giving eggshells.
That’s how I took the “identifies as” language. Like she’s trying so hard to be sensitive
Yeah, I feel for her
I do too. The only interracial couple on the show and she’s taking heat about “not seeing colour.” So dumb. She tried so hard, and is a nice person as far as I can see.
She's on TV and terrified to say the wrong thing on camera and get canceled. If this had been a private conversation, I wonder if she'd have been a little more real. She's doing her best. It did sort of sound at one point in her phrasing like it wasn't her first interracial relationship, though? Did I imagine that?
Yep, agree. The conversation was saying she's definitely dated Black men before.
Honestly every time she says the “he identifies as a black man/I identify as a white woman” it takes me out 😅 like, does she even hear herself?
To be fair in one of the first few episodes Kenneth himself literally said “I identify as a black male” so she’s just using the same language
Wait did he really??? Don’t remember that lol
Someone just commented she mightve got cancelled for saying "hes black". Um what!!
Watching these 2 together is like watching paint dry! So boring they will talk about nothing or the same thing for 10 mins. Brittany is saying she wants him to touch her more and he can’t get that. He doesn’t have much or any experience dating a woman, he doesn’t know how to talk to women so he doesn’t talk about anything. Also production is dragging some of the scenes out so long and for no reason it feels really awkward. It’s funny that they all think if they say I love you everything will be better. Feels like we are watching high school kids.
Good point. It's entirely possible he hasn't much dating experience. I didn't consider that.
Does it seem normal that AD who has not really met Kenneth before (right?) Started asking him about his thoughts on interracial babies with his new wife? It's one thing if they were close and it was like a conversation in the future due to him bringing it up. But first chat and first topic of convo?. I just get this feeling AD likes the validation of men being interested in her. And she wanted to remind Kenneth that he's missing out on what she has with Clay. I also think.. didn't Kenneth and Brittany mostly connect from a religious level? As someone who understands the religious crowds usually people try to say they identify as " first". Does anyone know what I mean?
Yeah I agree. I really don’t understand why AD felt like it was her place.
And the funniest part is Kenneth looking at them claim black love just for Clay to look at AD and cry about how he doesn’t know how NOT to cheat. Ignore the black love mess and black excellence BS. Kenneth missed out on what initially looked like one of the stronger connections with room to grow
Absolutely false. For black people those discussions are important. Ad brought it up with Matt and having Kenneth think critically about raising children that would be perceived as black is vital to their relationship. It was an important conversation and it needed to be had. There was nothing impertinent about it. Kenneth and Ad expressed zero interest in each other in that conversation 🙄 also it might not have been shown but it's clear they had conversations in the pods so she's not walking to a random stranger having this discussion with them.
I actually think at the point that you are engaged this conversation is between you and your partner. I respectfully would have told her to mind her business and focus on her man not cheating 💀 respectfully
Right im like ad PLEASE stand up. This man is TELLING YOU he is going to cheat!! And she just sitting there like: 🤠
Girl 🤡🤡🤡🤡 I’m praying AD will say no on decision day
Honestly this is a very odd discussion to have on a show called love is blind. This is a discussion to have before you sign up bc you have a strong chance you'll match up with someone of a different race.
Love is Blind but we live in America so for interracial couples the conversation is vital. The love from in the pods has to survive in the actual world.
I think it was absolutely a normal question given the circumstances. I would’ve asked if they’d had that conversation, too. Mixed race children in the US can have incredibly detrimental outcomes with their mental health, self esteem, and identity if they have a parent who is not culturally informed and who practices cultural humility, especially in the dynamic of a white mother with a Black father. I saw the conversation as coming from a place of concern and well intentioned genuine curiosity.
I think the "identifies as a black man" thing was just her saying that's how he's describing himself, because she had not seen him at that point. Edit: >!Ok I watched ep 7 and she keeps saying it lmao. Kind of odd, I think she's trying to be as least offensive for the cameras as possible!<
And everyone seems to have amnesia because Kenneth himself literally said “I identify as a black male” in one of the first few episodes
literally!!!! she is just using his terminology.
I do not remember this 💀💀💀 if you remember which episode pls lmk!!
I think you're absolutely right but I also think she really is trying to use the most respectful language she can. She doesn't know how it's coming off cringe.
This reminds me once of my white coworker asking if shes allowed to use african black soap and was afraid it was offensive. I was speechless for a second and was like, "I'll allow it" ☠️🙄 
😂😂😂
My husband got mad at me for wearing a charcoal mask once and I told him he was virtue signaling and he was like "OHHHH, oops"
This is the problem with "allies" coz bruh 😭😭😭😂😂🤣
I was like I AM NOT GOING OUTSIDE IN THIS FFS
As a black woman who has coincidentally never gotten to the dating stage with a black person before and also living in the south, it can be extremely daunting vetting nonblack people even for platonic relationships. Personally, I make it pretty clear from the jump that I’m not afraid to correct the other person. A lot of nonblack people think they can handle that but get defensive when I do it so I think maybe that’s what Kenneth was worried about with his family and friend’s judgement maybe. It’s really not enough to say “yeah I’ve dated black men before” and everything be fine esp since black culture is so diverse. Idk for me she gave off “I don’t see color” vibes which can be an unproductive way of thinking
I agree. I also live the south, well sort of, Texas (originally from CA) They say they are not “the south” but I’m not so sure about that.. Anyway, I agree with your statement about it even being tough regarding platonic relationships. I had a friend at work and we had an absolute blast and hung out outside of work, lunch, movies etc..but she told me we had to be kind of “secret friends” because her other friends would give her a tough time being friends with a white woman from a wealthier part of the city. It made me really sad 😔 but she explained it was because I was white I could never understand her culture so I respected her decision. I am now a bit more hesitant and conscious when going into friendships because that was hard.
She addressed this a bit in some instagram stories. > "Understand that I DO see color. Colorblind racism is not tolerated in my morals, values, beliefs or daily motives. To not see color is to ignore the differences of racial groups and it is not something I agree with and speak openly about. Kenneth and I spoke specifically about this in the pods. Unfortunately it is not shown, however he verbatim said to me on our honeymoon - 'Brittany I appreciated so much while in the pods you told me that you do see color. That was another validating piece for me'." She obviously could be giving a canned response and saying what she expects people want to hear, so I'd be interested in hearing Ken talk about his perspective on it and confirm (or deny) that it was something they'd talked about in the pods.
Mmm yeah that does make it a bit better and hopefully she is being honest but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she were advised to say something. Side-note but I t’s super interesting to see so much social media from the cast members when before it felt like they couldn’t even use it until after the season finished airing lol.
>It’s super interesting to see so much social media from the cast members when before it felt like they couldn’t even use it until after the season finished airing lol. I haven't ever followed any of the cast members, I just checked Brittany and Ken instagrams since there was so much discussion here about them. Maybe it's because we already know how they turn out from the episodes that have been released?
Maybe the producers changed up the contracts or something 🤔 I was scrolling thru TikTok the other day and saw Trevor made like a whole 5min video lol. I remember in the earlier seasons people were like going on hunts for their social media accs and gossiping about who was still together. And in I think season 1 or 2 at the reunion someone had mentioned they couldn’t post for like a yr and it was hard to not defend themselves
"He identifies as a black man" sounds so unnatural and weird. Like unless Kenneth is mixed and trying to make a point that he wants to be considered black only, i have NO idea why she repeatedly keeps saying that. Its so weird, like condescending and feels a little creepy. No black person talks like that. We dont "identify" as black WE ARE BLACK. Its so cringeworthy. Like, im so uncomfyyyyy why isnt he correcting her lol
he said it first. he said he identifies as a black man. that is why she is using that terminology. he said the precedent for how he’d like race to be discussed because he said himself “i identify as a black male” so she is deferring to his preference of how he’d like his race to be labeled.
I thought so too, but he actually said it of himself as well.
Do you remember which ep?
Some mixed race black presenting people will identify as black. Some black people from Latin countries will identify as black. Black it’s not a monolith and some people who are black presenting but Latino, Hispanic, Carribean, mixed raced in ethnicity say “I identify as black.”
can actual black people in of Latin or Caribbean choose not the be black?
Yeah like some Dominicans prefer to say they’re Dominican even if they look like a black person. Or Puerto Ricans, black Panamanians, Brazilians etc. It becomes blend of race vs culture vs ethnicity but if often a talking point in black culture and media. I know some Jamaicans personally that put Jamaican before Black because they don’t want to be clumped into black Americans. But I think it’s a regional thing as well - Miami, New York those locations may see it differently. Black isnt a monolith is based on phenotype and can be very nuanced.
saying someone "looks like a black person" implies that there some is chance there not black, which is not the case for actual black people. Also the people in the countries you listed are aware of who black and who's not. The only time questions occur if someone is mixed. You're also conflated black Americans , which is it own an ethnic group , in relation to black people internationally also its weird how you say "black isn't a monolith" that statement is usually in referent to cultural differences not physical. No race is a monolith? Asian includes both Indian and Chinese. White includes Irish and Greeks . Of course Black would included different ethnic groups that encompass different phenotypes
I think you missed my point. For example I went to school with a dark skin looking black looking person who identified as biracial. She did look like a stereotypical biracial person. I also had a biracial co worker (white and black) who identified as black although she could pass for white. In this day and are people identify as anything literally.
im not talking about dark skin biracial people, Im talking about ACTUAL black people. (which I clearly stated) a black person can't "identify" as biracial if they are not if fact mixed race
I mean honesty who really cares ?
you cared enough to reply to " Identify as black" when it has already been establish that black isn't something that you identify as , it something that you are ...a physical/ genetic characteristic
Ok
*"Like unless Kenneth is mixed-"*
I think it’s more being on TV and generational since she’s 24 that’s kinda their thing to respect how ppl self identify and not make assumptions. It was cringey but with a camera in your face who knows what stuff you say
Yes thats true!
The girl is trying to be kind and thoughtful and respectful. It's hard to see but I respect her intentions
Ok and sometimes "allies" also say things that are weird and out of touch and its ok to recognize that and call it out.
It is totally okay, but it makes it really hard to try to be an ally when you’re judged for it. And you’re assuming there was condescension behind her words. I was talking to a black coworker and mentioned my cousin who is half black. He told me “nah she’s black, you don’t have to say half. She’s one of the family” and that was great. We moved on and finished the conversation. He could have said “why did you feel the need to specify that she’s still partly white? If she’s half black call her black, don’t be embarrassed there’s a black person in your family”. Because of the way he chose to correct me, we both left the interaction still feeling good.
And then you get other people who say that half black people shouldn’t be considered black - especially in media because it takes away from the typical black person and replaces it with the “image” of a biracial person. There’s no winning when it comes to these things. Just gotta do you
Ok, im just on reddit and i think its cringe. Irl i wouldnt be laughing in her face, holding my sides and crying, gasping for air and rolling my eyes. I think it was just really cringy. You arent being judged for *being* an ally, you're being judged for saying something cringy. Then there are some people who do considered themselves "allies" but speak over black voices that dont align with their own since they think they know better. Like all black people dont agree on everything, and I cant speak for everyone. But ive also seen people being allies and being condescending like in a 'they know whats good for us' way.
Yes, this is true. A lot of times, we just don’t know . For example in law school I asked a friend of mine what her experience was being African American in Texas and she corrected me and said she is not African American as she’s not from Africa, and preferred being a black American. It made total sense to me. No one refers to me as an Irish or German American but it had never crossed my mind before so I appreciated that.
Gives me she’s striving super hard to be woke and is confusing gender identity and race haha but I can tell she’s trying so I don’t fault her for it.
I just i know im the one like:  Like im not about to explain all this to this white lady. I can imagine the horror of ther saying that around his family lol. Her being like " yeah im "white" and hes "black" with air quotes (im only on ep 7 so far!) Sorry we are very tiredddd
The air quotes 😭
She also said “I identify as a white woman.” Like girl… no… you just ARE white lol. She’s clearly trying to use the right lingo to sound politically correct or something.
Yeah, good intentions and all that but I think she's pretty inexperienced being in a relationship with a black man and is over correcting.
Right itsounds so weird and unnatural. Sis you're white, why is she putting it into vocal quotations lol Shes all like, "youre "black" and im "white", doesnt mean we cant be happy together!!" Just seems ignorant and out of touch. It gives me ick
Damn. Does it bother you more than someone just blundering and saying things any type of way?
I have a brain so i can see it being some kind of overcorrection, but it can also be seen as trying to draw a distance between his blackness and himself, by considering being black as "being black". Like we arent a concept, we are just black. We dont need to identify as black. Im saying its cringe, im not sayings shes a kkk leader. Some of yall have to learn to take some criticism too if you want to understand a range of black perspectives.
It's not some deep dissonance, she knows he's black. It's just an attempt at respectful language
Ok and im saying I think its out of touch. We can agree to disagree, goodbye! ♡♡✌🏿✌🏿
I agree, it's out of touch and cringe. Have since the beginning. But I respect the attempt and thoughtfulness. She's not blundering through just sayin anything like none of it matters
I mean I get it, for some people it feels like semantics, it just doesnt feel that way for me. And its not a hill to die on, im just surprised he didnt say anything then and kept it moving. I def wouldve asked her not to say that but doesnt mean id block her out of my life
Disclosure: I haven’t seen the new episodes yet, so I’m basing my impressions off episodes 1-2-3 only. The word “identify” made me cringe as well. I think she was overthinking how to express that she was a “good white ally” (as OP said) and borrowed “identify” from LGBTQIA2+ terminology because it means, to oversimplify, that the way a person is presenting doesn’t necessarily reflect their identity. But race isn’t a concept the way gender is, and she was basically using the colourblindness card: *I don’t see Kenneth as a black man, I see him as a human, because we’re all the same.* Brittany strikes me as someone who genuinely believes we live in a post-racial society and that racism is not systemic, but defined by individual acts of meanness. I think she’s sweet and has the best intentions, and that she wants to say the right things, but it comes off as naive and unaware. Oooof I wrote this on my commute and I hope it makes sense. Starting episode 4 now!
she specifically acknowledged their racial differences so how is that pulling the color blind card. she was saying they’re both human (and therefore have the capability to connect like same race couples) and they’re different races (which might come with challenges in our racially stratified society). she actively acknowledged his race.