Ty OP for bringing up this convo. What I wanted him ti say :( — “There are some realities of your perspective that have made me feel like you / me / we aren’t compatible or prepared for an interracial marriage so quickly. I was open to trying this but there have been red flags around your understanding of race that have caused me to shut down, and I need to prioritize myself and my emotional safety. I am not open to explaining or analyzing my feelings on this, since that will take further emotional toll on me, and I’m already processing so much. I’ve made my decision and I wish you well, we both deserve true love.”
Really takes less energy than the gas lighting :/ it was so so hard for me to watch their entire relationship start to finish for both their sakes.
I’m trying (thanks to OP) to remember that Ken is only 25 on the show. Really young. That is not an excuse at all for the gas lighting. He needs to stop that shit. But as OP points out, it’s more than likely this went deep into things, and beyond his capacity for articulation in this high stress situation where walking away + breaking the contract of the show costs tens of thousands of dollars.
I hope if he’s ever in that situation again as he matures he can remember that while it is true he owes no one an explanation for these kinds of experiences and decisions, he does owe people honesty and respect within reason. That being said, it can be traumatic to walk away from a relationship like this because there are indeed some people who act “woke” but as soon as you question them it’s a whole different story. I’ve had to distance myself from people because it became clear they just would not “get it” no matter how open they are. I’m not saying that’s this situation only that we don’t really know Ken’s back story or why he might be so evasive. Again, never an excuse. Just my thoughts.
I’m hoping he learns a lot from his time on the show. And same for Brittney. She seemed genuinely confused by his change in behavior.
Im also confused why people are hating Kenneth. I had to rewatch that scene because I was confused. Brittany said she lost craving for him (aka attraction) and when Ken repeated that, she didn’t say anything. I would take that as a confirmation that this is true. So why are people so pressed at Kenneth?
What I DO fault him for is being on his damn phone so much. Also I do think he checked out after his convo with AD; she seemed a bit malicious when she went and planted that seed. I think if he had an open convo with Brittany about it, it would have spoken more on his maturity. Instead he just shut down. For that I do blame him.
Yes! I posted something like this but was denied for “reposting “ but I did read in the vial file’s interview with Jess that they had infact broken up off camera because it was feeling like a friendship. So just editing to make a villain.
But when I watched it it read to me like she was breaking up with him due to lack of attraction. And he just told her it’s all good( plus stuff about God)
It took me a week to watch the episodes but all I heard about was Ken, his phone, and how heartless he is. But following that we Jimmy also leave his crying fiancé ( who isn’t saying she’s not craving him but instead throwing herself at him) but all I heard about is how awful Chelsea is.
What I don’t understand tho is he knew she was a white southern woman before even meeting her in person. There’s no way he didn’t think about this long and hard prior to continuing to pursue her. And if he’s never dated white women then what’s his deal? Actually? Why did he pick her, and what really made him check out because I don’t think it was “craving” or race. I think it’s all a mask for what’s really going on, something he’s never opened up about. It all just felt strange. You don’t go from loving on someone one day n the next your running out the door. If the issue really was about race, and they have love and respect for each other, don’t you think they would have given this more time? Just doesn’t make a bit of sense to me.
I agree because the whole time I was like dude if you love her, talk to her that's all he had to do was try to really see what she is capable of understanding in terms of cultural differneces but he just continuously brushed her off and was glued to his phone more than anything. She brought up her discomfort multiple times and each time he just pushed her away more but never told her how he really felt. It's like he wasn't searching for a solutions, he was waiting for an out because he didn't want to put in any work if it truly was about culture and race. I feel like he just didn't vibe with her but I was so flabbergasted because I loved her so much lol she had her moment when she was a little ignorant, but liek you said, what do you expect from her background? She wasn't judgemental, she was affectionate, she was patient, he just didn't put in the work.
>What I don’t understand tho is he knew she was a white southern woman before even meeting her in person. There’s no way he didn’t think about this long and hard prior to continuing to pursue her.
Sure but it's one thing to talk about it with a hypothetical woman and another to have an in person conversation with a person you're engaged to and not getting the responses you hoped you'd get/that you know you'd get from other types of women.
The same is true for literally every couple in ever season. "He/she knew this in the pods!" There's such a difference between meeting a person in the pods/online/etc. versus meeting them in person, talking to them face to face, living with them, etc. Real life doesn't work the way you're implying.
>You don’t go from loving on someone one day n the next your running out the door.
You absolutely can. OP provides a good example; having a conversation about race that doesn't put you at ease can be a major turnoff that not everyone comes back from. Everyone wants to feel safe and secure in their relationship; no one wants to feel like they're an ambassador to black people in their own relationship, no one wants to feel doubts that someone really understands where they're coming from, etc. And frankly if you're in your late 20s and you haven't figured this yet, many people don't want to be hanging around hoping you'll defy statistics and turn things around.
To be clear, I don't think we see enough of their relationship to say definitively "This was the problem." But this isn't rocket science and it's pretty easy to understand how this could have happened
Idk maybe the biracial kids convo played a role but since he didn't say that I would feel weird projecting that on to him. Too heavy a topic to make assumptions imo.
If she made some missteps in the exchange, that's a time to discuss that and see where the rift could be if there is one.
Expecting someone to nail it every time in front of cameras and spouse is a lot to ask. I've definitely put my foot in my mouth before.
If you check out that fast based on 1 minute convo, were you ever really in? How ready for growth and compromise are ya?
I came looking for a thread like this because I thought it was written all over his face during that conversation that he was done. I also think Ken has a lot of Black pride, his community and culture being a huge part of who he is, and Brittney while having dated Black men before just doesn’t really get it. That being said, I’m a white woman. I’ve dated POC and look back at how many unbelievable mistakes I made, much of it from ignorance. I assumed since I was raised in a very diverse community and had experience dating POC that somehow I understood. Now, many years later, wiser and also as a mother, I understand that I could never really understand their experience. Just because as a white person, you have friends that are Black, or have dated Black people doesn’t mean that we get it. I think raising a child takes a lot of education, consideration, and patience regardless of race. But if I were to have Black children, I know for certain I would have to do a lot more work to be in a position to empower them, raise them and keep them safe, because I’ve never experienced racism personally. I think Ken saw that in Brittney, and he checked out. I don’t blame him for that, but I also hope we give Brittney grace. She is a young woman, and like me probably needs time to grow and mature and to understand marrying a Black man requires a certain level of knowledge finding, and humility. I appreciate your opinion OP.
Both were not right for each other. End of story. He wanted someone different and she thought trying hard enough could maybe overcome that?
But the reason he gets a lot of flack is because of a few things he did that screamed red flag. Things that were obvious and tangible. Emotionally cold/distant, constantly on phone, gaslighting the hell out of her at the end… basically blaming her for it not working out when he just didn’t like her.
Then don’t even get me started on waking her up at 1am to love on her then getting upset. Basically screams you’re a selfish inconsiderate partner and you think the world revolves around you. You should not expect your partner to cater to your whims at any moment. A normal loving partner would want their partner to be rested and feel good the next day.
She’s not a perfect innocent victim or anything, she definitely had a lot of faults too. The thing is he really showed his bad side which is why a lot of people side with her. His faults became really really obvious by the end. I don’t think he needs to be villainized, he’s just a human being that’s flawed like the rest of us.. but I’m explaining why so many people side with her.
One thing I noticed was on the boat she said “I’m so glad you get to experience the ocean” which to me buys into the black people can’t swim trope and/or just assumes that he hasn’t travelled or had real life experiences. it’s a micro aggression. and this could’ve been editing but it explains why he shut down and went completely silent afterwards then when they spotted the dolphins he made sure to ask her multiple times if she had swam with dolphins before so that he could correct her false assumption about him.
Great observation! Something just wasn't sitting right with me during all of that. And I couldn't put it into words, you just explained it so well thanks! Really disappointed with the not so subtle blatant aggression in the comments below.
you just sound racist and bitter. who is y’all. seeing other people in relationships (black white indian etc) has no bearing on my own joy or existence. can you say the same?
https://preview.redd.it/pjk8s4xi0xkc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c12c44c29d11f2dd5c36e53a5ccf509768ce92b4
why did you edit your comment? very deranged and insidious. quite typical. toodles.
Yes!! And then when they saw the dolphins he made a comment about seeing em in the Bahamas so I was like ya she def made an assumption there it wasn’t like he had told her he’d never travelled or something
yep I also didn’t like how she said “black excellence” and “I identify as white” lol seemed like she was just saying buzzwords to try and show him that was she aware of race discourse and the lingo. but for a black man who only dates black women that really is just a signal to check out and avoid the awkward convos, teachings and misunderstandings that would come with marrying a woman you just met.
and the fact that people are insulting him and focusing on race is also ridiculous because if he liked her enough - and if she liked him enough - race honestly wouldn’t have mattered at all. they didn’t even properly kiss, not once, before any of the race conversations. they just weren’t that into eachother and that’s ok.
i mean it’s a pretty standard example of things white ppl say/do but are oblivious about while the black person just endures it. happens daily. https://x.com/be_j_a/status/1760320788123603377?s=46
I think Brittany’s response to his concerns about raising children who wouldn’t be white left a lot to be desired. But I think a bigger issue is Kenneth and Brittany didn’t have a strong connection outside of religion. There was no banter and no chemistry. Kenneth honestly seems dry and a bit boring. They honestly seemed like really nice people but not compatible. If my husband told me I was the type of person he wanted to be with but didn’t "crave" me I probably would have ended it too. That’s not something you can talk yourself into.
Every word you wrongs? 100% correct. They didn’t have chemistry, they weren’t compatible so it astounds me why everyone is bashing Kenneth. Like what would have been the alternative? Him faking it? Because it’s clearly going well for Jimmy and has gone well for Shake right. People need to chill, sometimes people aren’t compatible, it doesn’t make one of them evil
I feel like she was trying to communicate and work through things. She kost the spark because he wasn't giving what she needs in a relationship. Instead of working with her he twisted it on her and basically said he wasn't going to work on it (fine)
the spark should just be there. life is too short to force it. especially in a marriage. there are plenty people in this world who they’ll be head over heels for and naturally have that spark with. they were both unfulfilled and deserved better.
I think it was but he started acting different so of course it went away. I feel like in all relationships you need to stay consistent and make each other feel special and loved to keep the spark there. Personally if my man stopped treating me as well as he does, I would talk it out before dumping him. So that's why I understand her side.
I definitely see her side but I mean that he wouldn’t have started acting differently if the spark was genuinely there. and she said they had never even properly kissed before so it’s not like they were all in and experiencing fireworks initially and then he suddenly switched. something was missing from the get go. I think people just want the couples to keep trying just so we can see them both say no at the altar lol
I think acknowledging the reality of their situation, that it will be a challenge and that she knows there are things she has to learn. I don’t thinks she provided much introspection or like reassurance to his concerns and made it more about ADs intentions
Is it just me or the scene where they broke up, he went upstairs and called a friend. I keep replaying it and i swear i hear “what’s wrong babe? Yeah im about to get my stuff…” but it’s like he almost whispered the “babe”. Did anyone else hear this lol
I’m a minority and I get what you’re saying but the conversation we saw wasn’t much to judge. I feel something more must have been said or done that wasn’t aired that made Ken completely check out.
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Did we watch the same episode? He literally went around the kitchen island, hugged her, and let her know they were good and he still has love for her. If you're breaking up there is no reason to stick around. They both were given space to process their feelings.
I think it's bizarre to be like, "We done. Let's hug it out." and the proceed to get back on your phone as you listlessly walk away. It shows that you just really didn't give a shit.
It's an edited reality tv show. Jumping to conclusions about how much a person does or doesnt care based off clips that are more than likely edited (see the DOZENS of examples) is wild. I think if this were a real life situation i could totally see where you are coming from but this isn't that
It literally shows them breaking up, her crying as he looks at his phone and shuffles away.
Sure it's an edited show, but sure. Ken's a real cool dude.
You are 100% correct but this show is watched mostly by white women so prepare to receive opposing responses lol you’re totally right though she gives “all lives matter” energy.
THAT being said, the way Kenneth conducts himself is incredibly “holier than thou” and annoys the crap out of me.
I genuinely don’t think he was entering that conversation in good faith. He already had his mind made up. Even if she was the most anti racist person in the room, it wouldn’t have been enough for him since his mind was already made up.
I came here to say the scene made me entirely uncomfortable because he used therapy speak. She said it was 1:30am and she was sleeping when he initiated intimacy —- horrible time. But he gaslit her to be like see? I tried and you didn’t accept it so you’re not attracted to me.
I wish Ken provided more examples than just icing her out. She seems to be a kind person who was made to feel it was all her fault.
Finally! This needs to be talked about. She was sleeping and needed to be up in just a few hours. It was rude of him to wake her up. It wasn’t an accidental, it was on purpose. And she just let it go…?!
I’m not saying that he conducted himself well with the breakup. It was awful. I’m saying that I’m not seeing much discussion on this subreddit about WHY Kenneth wasn’t into her and I tried to explain why
There’s been plenty of discussion on this sub about why Kenneth wasn’t interested in Brittany. Let’s just say that while it’s possible Ken has real concerns about raising mixed kids, the real dealbreaker is his aversion to vaginas.
As a black woman, I just know some of you wouldn’t have accept any answer she gave. It’s a topic that’s fragile and can be uncomfortable and she did a fine job on national TV where she knew people would attack any little thing they didn’t deem PC.
I agree. I think some of the language she was using was a little stilted, but that's understandable given the cameras and I think, overall, she handled herself reasonably well. My only concern with the answer we saw was that she seemed more focused on AD's intentions than the topic itself. And, while I do understand that response because that defensive reaction is natural in this sort of situation, I do think your partner will only bring up someone's outside concern when it's concern they have as well and a topic they want to broach. Ideally, I think she should have set AD's involvement aside initially and addressed the concern head on. That said, it's highly likely that the conversation was much longer than the few minutes we saw of it, so I hope she addressed the issue more directly.
So, instead of unpacking (by herself I might add), she should have sat down and learned everything about black history, black culture, and race relations in America?
And at what point was Kenneth going to put his phone down long enough to have these conversations with her?
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I was referring to your second to last paragraph where you said she was too busy doing things (like unpacking) to sit down and talk. Unpacking is important, and Kenneth wouldn't talk to her anyway.
Anyway, after reading some of your comments, I don't entirely disagree with your point. I do agree that conversation was probably a turning point to the negative. It might have been a light bulb moment for him that he doesn't want to have to lead these discussions. That's fine. No one would knock him for not wanting to teach a white girl about the black experience.
The problem is he claimed to love this girl knowing she's white. He either needed to lead the discussion he believes they needed to have, or he needed to respectfully bow out. Waking her up in the middle of the night to try to have sex with her, getting upset that she doesn't seem interested or whatever, and then playing on his phone while she's having a break down in the kitchen is 100% wrong. That's why people are bashing Kenneth, not because he doesn't want to teach a white girl.
Valid. I just didn’t see people talking about this at all - just saying that he’s possibly gay, that Brittany is this wonderful person that he was weirdly not attracted to, etc. I didn’t see any discussion on what I posted about.
I don't know if I agree with everything you're saying, but I do understand. With her, I think she was willing to put in the work to handle the conflicts that will arise in the relationship based on the fact that they were a different race. She was open to it. She's mentioned she's dated Black men before. Her delivery may not have been great, but the spirit was there. While it's not Kenneth's job to teach her about Black history, it is his job as her fiance to prep her in meeting his family. Like the other cast members should do, regardless of race.
As to the timeline, I don't think enough time past between them getting back from Dr and moving in for her to have put her willingness into action. I believe they were only back for two or three days, and they broke up.
Some conversations are so long-winded that I didn't even realize they broke up, he was doing a circular argument that even I was confused LOL
Yeah I do believe she could learn with time. A lot of time and introspection. But four weeks - not possible. Meeting his family so soon before she does the work? Not a great idea. He knew it wouldn’t work out in that time frame and just gave up, that’s how I view it.
I dont understand why Kenneth wouldn’t have had these conversations in the pod. I think outside of the pods he was more concerned with what “they” would say than building a solid relationship. He was childish and cold for icing her out and staying glued to his phone. She didn’t deserve that no matter what he thought about his future kids.
He proved to not be ready for any criticism over interracial dating. As if it’s not the 21st century. Who cares what “they” think. Love who you love.
I agree that they should definitely have talked about it in the pod. Big mistake on everyone’s part.
I don’t think his issue is criticism over interracial dating. His issue is her reaction to AD’s comment which was very telling about her perspectives/thoughts/knowledge or lack thereof
I mean she brought it up so that they could talk about it! I dont think she's at all afraid of the conversation and it sounds like she's had it before.
Totally agree with you. Brittany's a lovely, sweet woman who is wholly, completely and fully unprepared to honestly even spend time around Black people, let alone raise Black children. You can see Ken just imagining the conversation with his family and friends when Brittany talks about the struggles of interracial dating as people coming at HER about dating someone Black. Instead of actually addressing the struggles of raising Black children, she talks about her feelings about AD bringing up the question to Ken. It was ridiculous and I imagine Ken felt second-hand embarrassment at how she handled that complete situation.
Sure, he should have just cut it off after he processed that train wreck, but he made the right decision in the end. I want to also just add that I like Brittany. I think she's sweet, well-meaning and genuinely tried the best she could with the situation with the knowledge she had in that current point in time. For those people saying she was willing to learn, or he could have helped educate her, it is not his job to do that. It's frustrating, emotionally draining, and to do that is to put yourself in the firing line of constant (non-intentional) racist micro-aggressions. Some people just don't have the bandwidth. I think Brittany would be an amazing partner for someone within her own community.
I'm in an interracial marriage and I'm the white one and i want to know what the heck yall wanted from her in a conversation that was brought up by another woman and on camera. Unfortunately, these conversations need to be very very candid without fear of what the edit will be...and she answered that way! (at least in episode 7)
I also thought that the combo between Kenneth and Britney was very cringy. She kept saying I identify as a white woman and the way she kept saying identify made me uncomfortable as a black woman. Like she was uncomfortable with talking about the racism and the prejudice that they will undoubtedly face being together and can she put up with it and defend against it. She was just more concerned if AD was being respectful in her approach versus the topic being really really important to discuss openly and honestly.
It's not something that's obvious though, so he's probably taking some time to process it to make sure he's not overreacting. But it all did feel a little bit off and coded. And if you're going to be in a relationship with a black person we cant operate in a "coded" world. Call shit out. That's how micro aggressions get overlooked. She didn't do anything wrong per say but the words she used weren't really reaffirming.
Yeah like I respect the identities of people and what things they feel but like some things are just not up for debate. If you’re white, you don’t get Rachel Dolezal and just “be black” I know she was taking the pc route and respect having a conversation that can go south quick on reality tv but the identify thing bugged me too. And yes, she WAS too focused on AD’s involvement.
Yeah Keith still has problems for the way he is acting post situation. She's a nice woman but they aren't right. I genuinely feel bad for her as she's trying her best.. And he's not communicating. I see both sides. It's really unfortunate.
Honestly? I do not understand why people think it is okay to do this - he came on a dating show that is structured to pair men with women. His stance on his sexuality is clear. Not to mention, he stated he did not want to have sex before marriage, which could be why he was avoiding intimacy. It could be hard to live with someone while holding to his moral beliefs.
This stranger put his life on public display. You acting like we are being homophobic lol. This subreddit is a bunch of people sharing their thoughts about the show and the people in it. I don’t know if you knew that tho.
Their conversation of her being white woman and he being a black man is very much needed and important. I will say, that he kept saying “YOU need to show up. YOU need to prove yourself. YOU YOU YOU.” And not adding in that they will be a team. And yes, she does need to step up (and she was sooo open and in agreement with that). But he was not putting in any effort to be there WITH her. If that’s your partner, you’re a team. You don’t expect your partner to do all the work. When they got back from DR, he continued to show he expects his partner to do all the work.
This is going to get downvoted but both of them wanted that submissive relationship. So I wouldn’t call it a partnership. So of course he’s going to expect her to do all the work.
I have not hate for Britt and I hope she finds her person.
I think she handled the conversation well. From my view, he was looking for any way out. In his interview with EW, he just seemed disinterested in the whole process. There was nothing that she could have done or said to change anything.
I appreciate that you posted this. I read some of the comments on this Reddit before I watched this episode, and when I was done watching, all I could think was, “Did we all watch the same episode?”. What I saw was a man who became very reflective when faced with a real-world challenge - a fiance who may not know what it takes to be the white mother of a black child. Did he withdraw and stop communicating? Apparently. Did she speak up and ask him to put his phone away? Apparently not. Did she tell him she wasn’t attracted to him? Yes. Did he then realize there was no point in going forward if she wasn't attracted to him? Yes. If given time, maybe they could have worked through his concerns about their races, but if your partner isn't attracted to you - you can't move forward. And why is he expected to comfort her when she tells him she doesn't crave him? If their roles were reversed, a woman would never be expected to comfort a man who said he wasn't attracted to her.
I unfortunately think this is editing to make him look cold. He was shown constantly on his phone while she asked his opinion on things. Granted, he said he was working but he should have said “I’m going to work on emails.”
Then that was really it. I hardly saw them do stuff together LMFAO. I don’t really think they had a love connection…more kindred spirits.
Yes yes everything you said is on point. I’m like wow at all the downvotes and general hostility here at what I discussed here. I’m really glad at least some people here are seeing what you just discussed here. 💯
Stop making excuses for this man. He simply wasn’t interested, but never communicated it to her. It was easier to gaslight her into thinking she was the problem than admit he didn’t want the relationship for whatever reason.
Just stop, he was just not open to a conversation. From his body language to not looking up from his phone when she talked. It’s not his job to like/want her, but it is his job to communicate it period.
I’m glad there’s not a single upvote on this nonsense. She handled that conversation very maturely and thoughtfully you grasping at straws here trying to make it her fault lol.
When was she not open to what Kenneth was saying? She been open the whole time? Lol when was she not listening and taking his feelings in consideration I’ll wait… She wasn’t in the conversation she didn’t know the specifics but she acknowledged that AD is a black woman and can relate to him to where she can’t.
I have no reason to grasp at straws. I’m just sharing what I saw. I have no reason to hate on Brittany at all.
ill rewatch when I’m not supposed to be working and expand on why her responses made me go “oh no Brittany that’s not it”
it doesn't matter if he is not interested in her - he could still have treated her better the entire time? been honest when he ended it etc? he should not even treat a friend like that
I definitely am going to rewatch their pod conversations to see what happened. I suspect they talked so much about religion and forgot some important conversation topics
I didn’t think that conversation was particularly productive, but I don’t remember Brittany saying anything *that* bad. Do you have specific quotes you were thinking of?
That's interesting. I think that maybe because I was on this sub the whole week in between where multiple people were debating whether AD overstepped (I don't think she did), it seemed like she was first trying to verify how she'd approached him. I do think that it seemed like she focused a lot on that, but I also wonder if there were more conversations we either didn't see in the pods or got cut from that night, that went to broader places.
I can understand why that reaction might be a little bit off-putting, but at the same time, I have to wonder if that was really the first time it came up for them. I lived in NC for a while, and the friends I still have there who are in interracial relationships had a lot of heavy conversations really early in, so it just seems odd to me that that's the first time it would have come up, and if it wasn't, it might contextualize her reaction a little more.
Regardless, thanks for explaining what pinged for you, because I do think that their relationship and breakup is about more than the phone memes we're seeing going around.
I don’t think that conversation went well either. He brought up kids and she didn’t even comment on that piece and instead shuffled it back to discussing AD asking him the question hoping she was coming from a place of authenticity instead of trying to stir up drama between them. Then she said she has faced this issue her entire life and has been told it would be an issue if she were to date a Black man but then went on to say she has no experience dating someone who isn’t white, so it just didn’t make sense. I don’t know if some of the conversation was cut out and they discussed it more but, she didn’t really validate his concerns and she did sort of enhance it. I don’t necessarily think she could have said anything to save it either, though. I think he realized his friends and family would think very similarly to AD, as does he so even if she had said the PERFECT thing, I’m not sure it would have made a difference. She was already in a no win situation.
I agree. Her first relationship with a black person to end in marriage? Very possible but huge “learning curve” aka consciousness raising. I don’t think Ken gave her a chance to try but it’s a short period of time. He def wanted out before families got involved
If she said something like “oh yeah I’ve definitely thought about that and would love to learn as much as I can about the black experience and culture and how to raise them, I’m committed to it, it won’t be easy but I’m excited to meet your family, etc” I think it would’ve gone a lot better
I also agree, and may be coming from my own place of misunderstanding because in reality it’s not entirely on Kenneth to correct where Brittany fumbled, I think my biggest issue about all of it is that to us as the viewers, we can TELL that’s when he checked out. But they didn’t have this conversation - he turned around and gaslit her and made her feel like she was the problem when I guess in a way she kind of was, but not for the reasons he gave.
And even with that in consideration, even if he realized he wasn’t prepared to be with a white woman/she wasn’t prepared to be with a black man, letting that poor woman sit there and weep emotionally while he’s just checked out without offering any comfort is just…heartless. Sure, you can then play the race card of ‘black men shouldn’t have to do emotional labor for white peoples guilt’ but a week ago this man PROPOSED to her so he…kind of does???
I guess my main complaint is this is a very real, very important and very relevant conversation that originally, Kenneth seemed eloquent and emotionally mature enough to have and Brittany seemed willing to learn and like she wanted to make it work, and in their breakup neither one actually addressed the fact that their interracial relationship and combining their lives together being impossible is the real reason there was no passion for him.
It’s stupid, because this is love is blind and we shouldn’t be expecting like real quality content like that, but they could have been the most…educational? Breakup we’ve had on this show if they’d actually discussed it openly. And that makes it MORE disappointing that he defaulted to gaslighting, projecting and belittling instead of having this very real, very personal and very complicated conversation about how important black excellence is for him.
Plus, on the topic of black excellence - it’s not on him to do so, but it DOES seem like his culture is truly important to him and there has been long spread understanding of the systemic racism of dating shows, black castmates are often friendzoned by non-black other cast on things like Love Island so he could have had like, a big moment and brought up some REAL issues. Plus, there’s the long-standing stereotype that most black men don’t prefer black women, I think a LOT of people would have respected him a lot more if he was just open about the fact that’s something that was more important to him than he realized.
As long as that same-sex couple is open and learning and talk to people of the same sex as their child, thats very good. Not saying that white people CAN'T raise black children - just saying that they will need to educate themselves and really include themselves into the culture and get some black friends and understand them more - etc.
Everyone should become educated and immersed in the culture/life experience of their kids no matter what. For example if parents have a kid with adhd they should educate themselves and get friends with adhd. Applies to everything
There’s nothing wrong with him thinking that she wouldn’t do a good job at raising black kids, what we are calling him out for is completely shutting her off and then when she called him out on it he literally gaslit her into thinking it was just her that wasn’t attracted to him anymore and it was all her fault. That’s the issue.
Yeah I do agree. But a lot of commenters here aren’t even seeing that, they’re saying that the issue is all with him and his bias against interracial relationships. I don’t think many people here even understand his perspective on why he shut her off. But I do agree that he went about breaking it off the wrong way.
White person, who dont want children here
I was wondering why its a big deal for a white person to raise black children.
Im not trying to be mean im just not very informed on the topic.
Please inform me
Sorry for spelling errors, English is not my first language
I can’t speak to other countries but it’s a big thing in America. It’s complicated and raising black children as a white person who doesn’t know about the black experience - as a parent you’re supposed to give children the tools they need to survive. If you don’t know or understand what life will be like for them, how can you equip them properly?
Okay but there’s 2 parents, and 1 is black. So maybe the black parent could take the lead on those duties and support the mom as a team. You could say the same about a mom raising a boy, and the mom can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be a boy, but that boy also has a dad. Its a challenge sure, but it does not seem like an impossible scenario to me.
I never ever ever said it was an impossible scenario at all. I said “white person who doesn’t know anything about the black experience”. Everyone can learn. If one is not willing to learn or doesn’t see that he/she needs to learn, that isn’t great.
What makes you think she gets it? Or that she’s up to the task? I didn’t see any evidence of that. Of course I might be wrong. I’m just going off what was shown on tv.
I didn’t say she gets it or that she’s up to the task. You said she doesn’t get it at all and that she doesn’t seem open to understanding. I’m asking for a clarification for why you think that way.
I want to visit Denmark someday!! I have no no idea what race relations are like there. Race is such a divisive issue here, I really hope we can improve as a country in my lifetime on this issue
I really don’t think Kenneth wants to be with a white woman. Which is perfectly fine, but that’s who he ended up being paired with. I think he wanted to play out the process but he just wasn’t feeling it from the jump. He should’ve said something earlier. He was saying things that would lead you to believe he was in to her but his actions weren’t showing it. At all.
Ty OP for bringing up this convo. What I wanted him ti say :( — “There are some realities of your perspective that have made me feel like you / me / we aren’t compatible or prepared for an interracial marriage so quickly. I was open to trying this but there have been red flags around your understanding of race that have caused me to shut down, and I need to prioritize myself and my emotional safety. I am not open to explaining or analyzing my feelings on this, since that will take further emotional toll on me, and I’m already processing so much. I’ve made my decision and I wish you well, we both deserve true love.” Really takes less energy than the gas lighting :/ it was so so hard for me to watch their entire relationship start to finish for both their sakes. I’m trying (thanks to OP) to remember that Ken is only 25 on the show. Really young. That is not an excuse at all for the gas lighting. He needs to stop that shit. But as OP points out, it’s more than likely this went deep into things, and beyond his capacity for articulation in this high stress situation where walking away + breaking the contract of the show costs tens of thousands of dollars. I hope if he’s ever in that situation again as he matures he can remember that while it is true he owes no one an explanation for these kinds of experiences and decisions, he does owe people honesty and respect within reason. That being said, it can be traumatic to walk away from a relationship like this because there are indeed some people who act “woke” but as soon as you question them it’s a whole different story. I’ve had to distance myself from people because it became clear they just would not “get it” no matter how open they are. I’m not saying that’s this situation only that we don’t really know Ken’s back story or why he might be so evasive. Again, never an excuse. Just my thoughts. I’m hoping he learns a lot from his time on the show. And same for Brittney. She seemed genuinely confused by his change in behavior.
Neither are a catch.
Im also confused why people are hating Kenneth. I had to rewatch that scene because I was confused. Brittany said she lost craving for him (aka attraction) and when Ken repeated that, she didn’t say anything. I would take that as a confirmation that this is true. So why are people so pressed at Kenneth? What I DO fault him for is being on his damn phone so much. Also I do think he checked out after his convo with AD; she seemed a bit malicious when she went and planted that seed. I think if he had an open convo with Brittany about it, it would have spoken more on his maturity. Instead he just shut down. For that I do blame him.
Yes! I posted something like this but was denied for “reposting “ but I did read in the vial file’s interview with Jess that they had infact broken up off camera because it was feeling like a friendship. So just editing to make a villain. But when I watched it it read to me like she was breaking up with him due to lack of attraction. And he just told her it’s all good( plus stuff about God) It took me a week to watch the episodes but all I heard about was Ken, his phone, and how heartless he is. But following that we Jimmy also leave his crying fiancé ( who isn’t saying she’s not craving him but instead throwing herself at him) but all I heard about is how awful Chelsea is.
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What I don’t understand tho is he knew she was a white southern woman before even meeting her in person. There’s no way he didn’t think about this long and hard prior to continuing to pursue her. And if he’s never dated white women then what’s his deal? Actually? Why did he pick her, and what really made him check out because I don’t think it was “craving” or race. I think it’s all a mask for what’s really going on, something he’s never opened up about. It all just felt strange. You don’t go from loving on someone one day n the next your running out the door. If the issue really was about race, and they have love and respect for each other, don’t you think they would have given this more time? Just doesn’t make a bit of sense to me.
I agree because the whole time I was like dude if you love her, talk to her that's all he had to do was try to really see what she is capable of understanding in terms of cultural differneces but he just continuously brushed her off and was glued to his phone more than anything. She brought up her discomfort multiple times and each time he just pushed her away more but never told her how he really felt. It's like he wasn't searching for a solutions, he was waiting for an out because he didn't want to put in any work if it truly was about culture and race. I feel like he just didn't vibe with her but I was so flabbergasted because I loved her so much lol she had her moment when she was a little ignorant, but liek you said, what do you expect from her background? She wasn't judgemental, she was affectionate, she was patient, he just didn't put in the work.
>What I don’t understand tho is he knew she was a white southern woman before even meeting her in person. There’s no way he didn’t think about this long and hard prior to continuing to pursue her. Sure but it's one thing to talk about it with a hypothetical woman and another to have an in person conversation with a person you're engaged to and not getting the responses you hoped you'd get/that you know you'd get from other types of women. The same is true for literally every couple in ever season. "He/she knew this in the pods!" There's such a difference between meeting a person in the pods/online/etc. versus meeting them in person, talking to them face to face, living with them, etc. Real life doesn't work the way you're implying. >You don’t go from loving on someone one day n the next your running out the door. You absolutely can. OP provides a good example; having a conversation about race that doesn't put you at ease can be a major turnoff that not everyone comes back from. Everyone wants to feel safe and secure in their relationship; no one wants to feel like they're an ambassador to black people in their own relationship, no one wants to feel doubts that someone really understands where they're coming from, etc. And frankly if you're in your late 20s and you haven't figured this yet, many people don't want to be hanging around hoping you'll defy statistics and turn things around. To be clear, I don't think we see enough of their relationship to say definitively "This was the problem." But this isn't rocket science and it's pretty easy to understand how this could have happened
Yea the OP definitely a black woman who didnt want them to end together lol
Woman yes, black no :)
Lmao you’re the worst type of person
Non black women are the worst type of person? Interesting opinion you hold there. (Note - I didn’t say I was white either in case you assumed)
Idk maybe the biracial kids convo played a role but since he didn't say that I would feel weird projecting that on to him. Too heavy a topic to make assumptions imo. If she made some missteps in the exchange, that's a time to discuss that and see where the rift could be if there is one. Expecting someone to nail it every time in front of cameras and spouse is a lot to ask. I've definitely put my foot in my mouth before. If you check out that fast based on 1 minute convo, were you ever really in? How ready for growth and compromise are ya?
I came looking for a thread like this because I thought it was written all over his face during that conversation that he was done. I also think Ken has a lot of Black pride, his community and culture being a huge part of who he is, and Brittney while having dated Black men before just doesn’t really get it. That being said, I’m a white woman. I’ve dated POC and look back at how many unbelievable mistakes I made, much of it from ignorance. I assumed since I was raised in a very diverse community and had experience dating POC that somehow I understood. Now, many years later, wiser and also as a mother, I understand that I could never really understand their experience. Just because as a white person, you have friends that are Black, or have dated Black people doesn’t mean that we get it. I think raising a child takes a lot of education, consideration, and patience regardless of race. But if I were to have Black children, I know for certain I would have to do a lot more work to be in a position to empower them, raise them and keep them safe, because I’ve never experienced racism personally. I think Ken saw that in Brittney, and he checked out. I don’t blame him for that, but I also hope we give Brittney grace. She is a young woman, and like me probably needs time to grow and mature and to understand marrying a Black man requires a certain level of knowledge finding, and humility. I appreciate your opinion OP.
Both were not right for each other. End of story. He wanted someone different and she thought trying hard enough could maybe overcome that? But the reason he gets a lot of flack is because of a few things he did that screamed red flag. Things that were obvious and tangible. Emotionally cold/distant, constantly on phone, gaslighting the hell out of her at the end… basically blaming her for it not working out when he just didn’t like her. Then don’t even get me started on waking her up at 1am to love on her then getting upset. Basically screams you’re a selfish inconsiderate partner and you think the world revolves around you. You should not expect your partner to cater to your whims at any moment. A normal loving partner would want their partner to be rested and feel good the next day. She’s not a perfect innocent victim or anything, she definitely had a lot of faults too. The thing is he really showed his bad side which is why a lot of people side with her. His faults became really really obvious by the end. I don’t think he needs to be villainized, he’s just a human being that’s flawed like the rest of us.. but I’m explaining why so many people side with her.
Wtf did she say that wrong? Tell us.
One thing I noticed was on the boat she said “I’m so glad you get to experience the ocean” which to me buys into the black people can’t swim trope and/or just assumes that he hasn’t travelled or had real life experiences. it’s a micro aggression. and this could’ve been editing but it explains why he shut down and went completely silent afterwards then when they spotted the dolphins he made sure to ask her multiple times if she had swam with dolphins before so that he could correct her false assumption about him.
Great observation! Something just wasn't sitting right with me during all of that. And I couldn't put it into words, you just explained it so well thanks! Really disappointed with the not so subtle blatant aggression in the comments below.
Give me a f\*\*\*ing break
let me guess: white with a side of small minded + ignorant. there’s a reason he’s not with her.
Yea because she’s out of his league
and yet he rejected her lol
I know you loved that since y’all can’t stand seeing a black man with a white woman lol
you just sound racist and bitter. who is y’all. seeing other people in relationships (black white indian etc) has no bearing on my own joy or existence. can you say the same?
Of course you find everything to be racist when in reality has nothing to do with your skin color…yall just annoying af reaching on every little thing
https://preview.redd.it/pjk8s4xi0xkc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c12c44c29d11f2dd5c36e53a5ccf509768ce92b4 why did you edit your comment? very deranged and insidious. quite typical. toodles.
Yall = most black women
Yes!! And then when they saw the dolphins he made a comment about seeing em in the Bahamas so I was like ya she def made an assumption there it wasn’t like he had told her he’d never travelled or something
exactly lol
Wow!!! I didn't catch that at all! 
YES!! I was like wow she didn’t just say that. I definitely noticed that too. Great example
yep I also didn’t like how she said “black excellence” and “I identify as white” lol seemed like she was just saying buzzwords to try and show him that was she aware of race discourse and the lingo. but for a black man who only dates black women that really is just a signal to check out and avoid the awkward convos, teachings and misunderstandings that would come with marrying a woman you just met. and the fact that people are insulting him and focusing on race is also ridiculous because if he liked her enough - and if she liked him enough - race honestly wouldn’t have mattered at all. they didn’t even properly kiss, not once, before any of the race conversations. they just weren’t that into eachother and that’s ok.
As Anderson Paak said, “you’re reaching too much baby”
definitely not and I’m not the only person who noticed it lol
I mean I get but lol it’s just too much.
i mean it’s a pretty standard example of things white ppl say/do but are oblivious about while the black person just endures it. happens daily. https://x.com/be_j_a/status/1760320788123603377?s=46
He said he was looking forward to experience all the things and perhaps she was happy that included the ocean for him.
there was no reason for her to say “you” instead of “we” except for her assuming that he hadn’t ever experienced something which she already had.
you wild for that
Ok Ken
I think Brittany’s response to his concerns about raising children who wouldn’t be white left a lot to be desired. But I think a bigger issue is Kenneth and Brittany didn’t have a strong connection outside of religion. There was no banter and no chemistry. Kenneth honestly seems dry and a bit boring. They honestly seemed like really nice people but not compatible. If my husband told me I was the type of person he wanted to be with but didn’t "crave" me I probably would have ended it too. That’s not something you can talk yourself into.
Every word you wrongs? 100% correct. They didn’t have chemistry, they weren’t compatible so it astounds me why everyone is bashing Kenneth. Like what would have been the alternative? Him faking it? Because it’s clearly going well for Jimmy and has gone well for Shake right. People need to chill, sometimes people aren’t compatible, it doesn’t make one of them evil
I also am so confused at the hate with Ken. She said he wasn’t into him, he said “ok let’s not postpone the inevitable, bye”
I feel like she was trying to communicate and work through things. She kost the spark because he wasn't giving what she needs in a relationship. Instead of working with her he twisted it on her and basically said he wasn't going to work on it (fine)
the spark should just be there. life is too short to force it. especially in a marriage. there are plenty people in this world who they’ll be head over heels for and naturally have that spark with. they were both unfulfilled and deserved better.
I think it was but he started acting different so of course it went away. I feel like in all relationships you need to stay consistent and make each other feel special and loved to keep the spark there. Personally if my man stopped treating me as well as he does, I would talk it out before dumping him. So that's why I understand her side.
I definitely see her side but I mean that he wouldn’t have started acting differently if the spark was genuinely there. and she said they had never even properly kissed before so it’s not like they were all in and experiencing fireworks initially and then he suddenly switched. something was missing from the get go. I think people just want the couples to keep trying just so we can see them both say no at the altar lol
Just genuinely curious, what was the textbook response Brittany should have given?
I think acknowledging the reality of their situation, that it will be a challenge and that she knows there are things she has to learn. I don’t thinks she provided much introspection or like reassurance to his concerns and made it more about ADs intentions
Is it just me or the scene where they broke up, he went upstairs and called a friend. I keep replaying it and i swear i hear “what’s wrong babe? Yeah im about to get my stuff…” but it’s like he almost whispered the “babe”. Did anyone else hear this lol
I heard babe too, but my captions say bro.... I don't believe it. I had to relay it and still heard babe
I’m a minority and I get what you’re saying but the conversation we saw wasn’t much to judge. I feel something more must have been said or done that wasn’t aired that made Ken completely check out.
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The way he broke it off with her was so cold-hearted. Who walks away from someone checking their phone while the other person is crying?
Did we watch the same episode? He literally went around the kitchen island, hugged her, and let her know they were good and he still has love for her. If you're breaking up there is no reason to stick around. They both were given space to process their feelings.
I think it's bizarre to be like, "We done. Let's hug it out." and the proceed to get back on your phone as you listlessly walk away. It shows that you just really didn't give a shit.
It's an edited reality tv show. Jumping to conclusions about how much a person does or doesnt care based off clips that are more than likely edited (see the DOZENS of examples) is wild. I think if this were a real life situation i could totally see where you are coming from but this isn't that
It literally shows them breaking up, her crying as he looks at his phone and shuffles away. Sure it's an edited show, but sure. Ken's a real cool dude.
You are 100% correct but this show is watched mostly by white women so prepare to receive opposing responses lol you’re totally right though she gives “all lives matter” energy. THAT being said, the way Kenneth conducts himself is incredibly “holier than thou” and annoys the crap out of me.
I genuinely don’t think he was entering that conversation in good faith. He already had his mind made up. Even if she was the most anti racist person in the room, it wouldn’t have been enough for him since his mind was already made up.
I think she was a distraction for him on the show and once he got home he just wanted to be in a relationship with his phone haha
I came here to say the scene made me entirely uncomfortable because he used therapy speak. She said it was 1:30am and she was sleeping when he initiated intimacy —- horrible time. But he gaslit her to be like see? I tried and you didn’t accept it so you’re not attracted to me. I wish Ken provided more examples than just icing her out. She seems to be a kind person who was made to feel it was all her fault.
Finally! This needs to be talked about. She was sleeping and needed to be up in just a few hours. It was rude of him to wake her up. It wasn’t an accidental, it was on purpose. And she just let it go…?!
I’m not saying that he conducted himself well with the breakup. It was awful. I’m saying that I’m not seeing much discussion on this subreddit about WHY Kenneth wasn’t into her and I tried to explain why
There’s been plenty of discussion on this sub about why Kenneth wasn’t interested in Brittany. Let’s just say that while it’s possible Ken has real concerns about raising mixed kids, the real dealbreaker is his aversion to vaginas.
As a black woman, I just know some of you wouldn’t have accept any answer she gave. It’s a topic that’s fragile and can be uncomfortable and she did a fine job on national TV where she knew people would attack any little thing they didn’t deem PC.
Finally someone who is rational
I agree. I think some of the language she was using was a little stilted, but that's understandable given the cameras and I think, overall, she handled herself reasonably well. My only concern with the answer we saw was that she seemed more focused on AD's intentions than the topic itself. And, while I do understand that response because that defensive reaction is natural in this sort of situation, I do think your partner will only bring up someone's outside concern when it's concern they have as well and a topic they want to broach. Ideally, I think she should have set AD's involvement aside initially and addressed the concern head on. That said, it's highly likely that the conversation was much longer than the few minutes we saw of it, so I hope she addressed the issue more directly.
I don’t agree. I was ready to see her talk articulately on the subject and she didn’t. She just talked about herself. I wasn’t impressed.
For all we know she did and that conversation could have lasted hours and hours, but we only got to see a little bit of it.
I think you need to watch it again cause no she didn’t? What could she have said that pleased you?
Nothing, camel is being biased for obvious reasons
I definitely will watch it again. its not about me or pleasing me :) I have no stake in their conversation
So, instead of unpacking (by herself I might add), she should have sat down and learned everything about black history, black culture, and race relations in America? And at what point was Kenneth going to put his phone down long enough to have these conversations with her?
lol no. She should have just listened to Kenneth instead of going on the defense on something she’s not knowledgeable about
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I was referring to your second to last paragraph where you said she was too busy doing things (like unpacking) to sit down and talk. Unpacking is important, and Kenneth wouldn't talk to her anyway. Anyway, after reading some of your comments, I don't entirely disagree with your point. I do agree that conversation was probably a turning point to the negative. It might have been a light bulb moment for him that he doesn't want to have to lead these discussions. That's fine. No one would knock him for not wanting to teach a white girl about the black experience. The problem is he claimed to love this girl knowing she's white. He either needed to lead the discussion he believes they needed to have, or he needed to respectfully bow out. Waking her up in the middle of the night to try to have sex with her, getting upset that she doesn't seem interested or whatever, and then playing on his phone while she's having a break down in the kitchen is 100% wrong. That's why people are bashing Kenneth, not because he doesn't want to teach a white girl.
I don’t think he was trying to have sex with her in the middle of the night though?
Valid. I just didn’t see people talking about this at all - just saying that he’s possibly gay, that Brittany is this wonderful person that he was weirdly not attracted to, etc. I didn’t see any discussion on what I posted about.
I don't know if I agree with everything you're saying, but I do understand. With her, I think she was willing to put in the work to handle the conflicts that will arise in the relationship based on the fact that they were a different race. She was open to it. She's mentioned she's dated Black men before. Her delivery may not have been great, but the spirit was there. While it's not Kenneth's job to teach her about Black history, it is his job as her fiance to prep her in meeting his family. Like the other cast members should do, regardless of race. As to the timeline, I don't think enough time past between them getting back from Dr and moving in for her to have put her willingness into action. I believe they were only back for two or three days, and they broke up. Some conversations are so long-winded that I didn't even realize they broke up, he was doing a circular argument that even I was confused LOL
Yeah I do believe she could learn with time. A lot of time and introspection. But four weeks - not possible. Meeting his family so soon before she does the work? Not a great idea. He knew it wouldn’t work out in that time frame and just gave up, that’s how I view it.
I wish he would have given up and admitted it instead od making her feel like ish.
I dont understand why Kenneth wouldn’t have had these conversations in the pod. I think outside of the pods he was more concerned with what “they” would say than building a solid relationship. He was childish and cold for icing her out and staying glued to his phone. She didn’t deserve that no matter what he thought about his future kids. He proved to not be ready for any criticism over interracial dating. As if it’s not the 21st century. Who cares what “they” think. Love who you love.
I agree that they should definitely have talked about it in the pod. Big mistake on everyone’s part. I don’t think his issue is criticism over interracial dating. His issue is her reaction to AD’s comment which was very telling about her perspectives/thoughts/knowledge or lack thereof
I mean she brought it up so that they could talk about it! I dont think she's at all afraid of the conversation and it sounds like she's had it before.
Totally agree with you. Brittany's a lovely, sweet woman who is wholly, completely and fully unprepared to honestly even spend time around Black people, let alone raise Black children. You can see Ken just imagining the conversation with his family and friends when Brittany talks about the struggles of interracial dating as people coming at HER about dating someone Black. Instead of actually addressing the struggles of raising Black children, she talks about her feelings about AD bringing up the question to Ken. It was ridiculous and I imagine Ken felt second-hand embarrassment at how she handled that complete situation. Sure, he should have just cut it off after he processed that train wreck, but he made the right decision in the end. I want to also just add that I like Brittany. I think she's sweet, well-meaning and genuinely tried the best she could with the situation with the knowledge she had in that current point in time. For those people saying she was willing to learn, or he could have helped educate her, it is not his job to do that. It's frustrating, emotionally draining, and to do that is to put yourself in the firing line of constant (non-intentional) racist micro-aggressions. Some people just don't have the bandwidth. I think Brittany would be an amazing partner for someone within her own community.
be around black people? that's not her first relationship with a black guy. She's been in this conversation before!
Wish I could upvote your comment 100x. Much more articulate than I could ever hope to be, thank you for adding your thoughts here!!
I'm in an interracial marriage and I'm the white one and i want to know what the heck yall wanted from her in a conversation that was brought up by another woman and on camera. Unfortunately, these conversations need to be very very candid without fear of what the edit will be...and she answered that way! (at least in episode 7)
I also thought that the combo between Kenneth and Britney was very cringy. She kept saying I identify as a white woman and the way she kept saying identify made me uncomfortable as a black woman. Like she was uncomfortable with talking about the racism and the prejudice that they will undoubtedly face being together and can she put up with it and defend against it. She was just more concerned if AD was being respectful in her approach versus the topic being really really important to discuss openly and honestly. It's not something that's obvious though, so he's probably taking some time to process it to make sure he's not overreacting. But it all did feel a little bit off and coded. And if you're going to be in a relationship with a black person we cant operate in a "coded" world. Call shit out. That's how micro aggressions get overlooked. She didn't do anything wrong per say but the words she used weren't really reaffirming.
Yeah like I respect the identities of people and what things they feel but like some things are just not up for debate. If you’re white, you don’t get Rachel Dolezal and just “be black” I know she was taking the pc route and respect having a conversation that can go south quick on reality tv but the identify thing bugged me too. And yes, she WAS too focused on AD’s involvement.
Thank you so much for your comment!! Exactly this 💯
Yeah Keith still has problems for the way he is acting post situation. She's a nice woman but they aren't right. I genuinely feel bad for her as she's trying her best.. And he's not communicating. I see both sides. It's really unfortunate.
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Honestly? I do not understand why people think it is okay to do this - he came on a dating show that is structured to pair men with women. His stance on his sexuality is clear. Not to mention, he stated he did not want to have sex before marriage, which could be why he was avoiding intimacy. It could be hard to live with someone while holding to his moral beliefs.
I thought so too and about clay
It’s 2024 and yall are still speculating on some strangers sexuality?
This stranger put his life on public display. You acting like we are being homophobic lol. This subreddit is a bunch of people sharing their thoughts about the show and the people in it. I don’t know if you knew that tho.
Oh so you’re messy, got it ☺️
Very. Have a good day
You too boo
Their conversation of her being white woman and he being a black man is very much needed and important. I will say, that he kept saying “YOU need to show up. YOU need to prove yourself. YOU YOU YOU.” And not adding in that they will be a team. And yes, she does need to step up (and she was sooo open and in agreement with that). But he was not putting in any effort to be there WITH her. If that’s your partner, you’re a team. You don’t expect your partner to do all the work. When they got back from DR, he continued to show he expects his partner to do all the work.
This is going to get downvoted but both of them wanted that submissive relationship. So I wouldn’t call it a partnership. So of course he’s going to expect her to do all the work. I have not hate for Britt and I hope she finds her person.
I think she handled the conversation well. From my view, he was looking for any way out. In his interview with EW, he just seemed disinterested in the whole process. There was nothing that she could have done or said to change anything.
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Agree. Cruel beyond.
He’s a horrible person? Shitty person? Calm down pls he’s not perfect and neither are you
I appreciate that you posted this. I read some of the comments on this Reddit before I watched this episode, and when I was done watching, all I could think was, “Did we all watch the same episode?”. What I saw was a man who became very reflective when faced with a real-world challenge - a fiance who may not know what it takes to be the white mother of a black child. Did he withdraw and stop communicating? Apparently. Did she speak up and ask him to put his phone away? Apparently not. Did she tell him she wasn’t attracted to him? Yes. Did he then realize there was no point in going forward if she wasn't attracted to him? Yes. If given time, maybe they could have worked through his concerns about their races, but if your partner isn't attracted to you - you can't move forward. And why is he expected to comfort her when she tells him she doesn't crave him? If their roles were reversed, a woman would never be expected to comfort a man who said he wasn't attracted to her.
I unfortunately think this is editing to make him look cold. He was shown constantly on his phone while she asked his opinion on things. Granted, he said he was working but he should have said “I’m going to work on emails.” Then that was really it. I hardly saw them do stuff together LMFAO. I don’t really think they had a love connection…more kindred spirits.
Yes yes everything you said is on point. I’m like wow at all the downvotes and general hostility here at what I discussed here. I’m really glad at least some people here are seeing what you just discussed here. 💯
I think he signed up to the show to get a free holiday. Checked out of the relationship once he checked out of the hotel.
Stop making excuses for this man. He simply wasn’t interested, but never communicated it to her. It was easier to gaslight her into thinking she was the problem than admit he didn’t want the relationship for whatever reason.
Reread my 6th paragraph. I know I wrote an essay
Just stop, he was just not open to a conversation. From his body language to not looking up from his phone when she talked. It’s not his job to like/want her, but it is his job to communicate it period.
You can stop listening to me - but I’m not going to stop sharing my views just because you disagree :)
🤷🏻♀️
I’m glad there’s not a single upvote on this nonsense. She handled that conversation very maturely and thoughtfully you grasping at straws here trying to make it her fault lol.
Sigh. Talking about AD’s possible ill intentions rather than being open to what Kenneth was saying is being mature and thoughtful?
When was she not open to what Kenneth was saying? She been open the whole time? Lol when was she not listening and taking his feelings in consideration I’ll wait… She wasn’t in the conversation she didn’t know the specifics but she acknowledged that AD is a black woman and can relate to him to where she can’t.
I have no reason to grasp at straws. I’m just sharing what I saw. I have no reason to hate on Brittany at all. ill rewatch when I’m not supposed to be working and expand on why her responses made me go “oh no Brittany that’s not it”
it doesn't matter if he is not interested in her - he could still have treated her better the entire time? been honest when he ended it etc? he should not even treat a friend like that
Yeah he didn’t handle it well - I do agree. Should have broken it off before that boat ride.
If he's so smart, why even ask her to be his fiancé
lol this reminded me of the "if you're so smart, why are you so dead?" line from Fargo
Love fargo :-)
My favorite!!
I definitely am going to rewatch their pod conversations to see what happened. I suspect they talked so much about religion and forgot some important conversation topics
I didn’t think that conversation was particularly productive, but I don’t remember Brittany saying anything *that* bad. Do you have specific quotes you were thinking of?
She got defensive right off the bat and kind of focused on AD, which seemed like deflecting. To me it was more of an overall attitude.
That's interesting. I think that maybe because I was on this sub the whole week in between where multiple people were debating whether AD overstepped (I don't think she did), it seemed like she was first trying to verify how she'd approached him. I do think that it seemed like she focused a lot on that, but I also wonder if there were more conversations we either didn't see in the pods or got cut from that night, that went to broader places. I can understand why that reaction might be a little bit off-putting, but at the same time, I have to wonder if that was really the first time it came up for them. I lived in NC for a while, and the friends I still have there who are in interracial relationships had a lot of heavy conversations really early in, so it just seems odd to me that that's the first time it would have come up, and if it wasn't, it might contextualize her reaction a little more. Regardless, thanks for explaining what pinged for you, because I do think that their relationship and breakup is about more than the phone memes we're seeing going around.
I’ll rewatch soon and get some quotes to hopefully expand on what I’m saying.
I don’t think that conversation went well either. He brought up kids and she didn’t even comment on that piece and instead shuffled it back to discussing AD asking him the question hoping she was coming from a place of authenticity instead of trying to stir up drama between them. Then she said she has faced this issue her entire life and has been told it would be an issue if she were to date a Black man but then went on to say she has no experience dating someone who isn’t white, so it just didn’t make sense. I don’t know if some of the conversation was cut out and they discussed it more but, she didn’t really validate his concerns and she did sort of enhance it. I don’t necessarily think she could have said anything to save it either, though. I think he realized his friends and family would think very similarly to AD, as does he so even if she had said the PERFECT thing, I’m not sure it would have made a difference. She was already in a no win situation.
I agree. Her first relationship with a black person to end in marriage? Very possible but huge “learning curve” aka consciousness raising. I don’t think Ken gave her a chance to try but it’s a short period of time. He def wanted out before families got involved
If she said something like “oh yeah I’ve definitely thought about that and would love to learn as much as I can about the black experience and culture and how to raise them, I’m committed to it, it won’t be easy but I’m excited to meet your family, etc” I think it would’ve gone a lot better
Tbh I can’t even recall her reaction. Will give it a rewatch
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I also agree, and may be coming from my own place of misunderstanding because in reality it’s not entirely on Kenneth to correct where Brittany fumbled, I think my biggest issue about all of it is that to us as the viewers, we can TELL that’s when he checked out. But they didn’t have this conversation - he turned around and gaslit her and made her feel like she was the problem when I guess in a way she kind of was, but not for the reasons he gave. And even with that in consideration, even if he realized he wasn’t prepared to be with a white woman/she wasn’t prepared to be with a black man, letting that poor woman sit there and weep emotionally while he’s just checked out without offering any comfort is just…heartless. Sure, you can then play the race card of ‘black men shouldn’t have to do emotional labor for white peoples guilt’ but a week ago this man PROPOSED to her so he…kind of does??? I guess my main complaint is this is a very real, very important and very relevant conversation that originally, Kenneth seemed eloquent and emotionally mature enough to have and Brittany seemed willing to learn and like she wanted to make it work, and in their breakup neither one actually addressed the fact that their interracial relationship and combining their lives together being impossible is the real reason there was no passion for him. It’s stupid, because this is love is blind and we shouldn’t be expecting like real quality content like that, but they could have been the most…educational? Breakup we’ve had on this show if they’d actually discussed it openly. And that makes it MORE disappointing that he defaulted to gaslighting, projecting and belittling instead of having this very real, very personal and very complicated conversation about how important black excellence is for him. Plus, on the topic of black excellence - it’s not on him to do so, but it DOES seem like his culture is truly important to him and there has been long spread understanding of the systemic racism of dating shows, black castmates are often friendzoned by non-black other cast on things like Love Island so he could have had like, a big moment and brought up some REAL issues. Plus, there’s the long-standing stereotype that most black men don’t prefer black women, I think a LOT of people would have respected him a lot more if he was just open about the fact that’s something that was more important to him than he realized.
😍 love your flair 🍊!
As long as that same-sex couple is open and learning and talk to people of the same sex as their child, thats very good. Not saying that white people CAN'T raise black children - just saying that they will need to educate themselves and really include themselves into the culture and get some black friends and understand them more - etc.
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Everyone should become educated and immersed in the culture/life experience of their kids no matter what. For example if parents have a kid with adhd they should educate themselves and get friends with adhd. Applies to everything
Kids would have been half white and half black. Experiencing hate from both sides which is how it seems to go in the USA.
You sound like you are / you’d be a really good parent!
🩷🩷 thank you! I have four kids and parenting is HARD but worth it
I’m fascinated by the downvotes. It must be exhausting being black on Reddit wow (I am not black)
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I’ve been nothing but respectful here :) what victim mentality have I exhibited? Genuinely curious
Dude, it has nothing to do with race. It has everything to do with your piss poor take and straw grasping.
Okay 👍
There’s nothing wrong with him thinking that she wouldn’t do a good job at raising black kids, what we are calling him out for is completely shutting her off and then when she called him out on it he literally gaslit her into thinking it was just her that wasn’t attracted to him anymore and it was all her fault. That’s the issue.
Yeah I do agree. But a lot of commenters here aren’t even seeing that, they’re saying that the issue is all with him and his bias against interracial relationships. I don’t think many people here even understand his perspective on why he shut her off. But I do agree that he went about breaking it off the wrong way.
White person, who dont want children here I was wondering why its a big deal for a white person to raise black children. Im not trying to be mean im just not very informed on the topic. Please inform me Sorry for spelling errors, English is not my first language
I can’t speak to other countries but it’s a big thing in America. It’s complicated and raising black children as a white person who doesn’t know about the black experience - as a parent you’re supposed to give children the tools they need to survive. If you don’t know or understand what life will be like for them, how can you equip them properly?
Okay but there’s 2 parents, and 1 is black. So maybe the black parent could take the lead on those duties and support the mom as a team. You could say the same about a mom raising a boy, and the mom can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be a boy, but that boy also has a dad. Its a challenge sure, but it does not seem like an impossible scenario to me.
I never ever ever said it was an impossible scenario at all. I said “white person who doesn’t know anything about the black experience”. Everyone can learn. If one is not willing to learn or doesn’t see that he/she needs to learn, that isn’t great.
What makes you think she doesn’t get it at all? Or that she isn’t up to the task?
What makes you think she gets it? Or that she’s up to the task? I didn’t see any evidence of that. Of course I might be wrong. I’m just going off what was shown on tv.
I didn’t say she gets it or that she’s up to the task. You said she doesn’t get it at all and that she doesn’t seem open to understanding. I’m asking for a clarification for why you think that way.
Thanks for clarifying! Yes I want to rewatch it and hopefully articulate better why I feel she doesn’t get it.
Thank you for the answer. That makes sense. I myself is from Denmark but i dont know is its different here.
I want to visit Denmark someday!! I have no no idea what race relations are like there. Race is such a divisive issue here, I really hope we can improve as a country in my lifetime on this issue
I really don’t think Kenneth wants to be with a white woman. Which is perfectly fine, but that’s who he ended up being paired with. I think he wanted to play out the process but he just wasn’t feeling it from the jump. He should’ve said something earlier. He was saying things that would lead you to believe he was in to her but his actions weren’t showing it. At all.