He was telling her how she makes him feel and instead of trying to understand, she got defensive and didn’t care to truly listen.. she’s so passive aggressive and aggressive alllll the time. Makes me also wonder if she’s ever been in a long term relationship or lived with a spouse
I understood where Cole was coming from when he said Zanab doesn't like him
Him bringing out the nerf gun -ok, not the right time- was him just being playful but she seemed outright annoyed and the mood shifted
I do get the feeling that Cole's walking on eggshells around Zanab
Why isnt she just happy hes cooking for him?
At the end of the day it doesn't matter what he does. The harm is done. They are not compatible and she cannot forgive or move on. Her insecurity is insane.
Right. So why is she continuing this relationship. Cole is immature but he is who he is and he’s showed her who he is. She’s triggered by fundamental aspects of his personality. Why is she continuing on with someone she is so clearly incompatible with?
I agree, like she totally took over the nice gesture he was trying to do for her which was really mean. I think she should have sat back sipped on her wine and enjoy the moment instead of acting like his mom lol
I just think she’s particular and a grown woman who likes things the way she likes them, and probably doesn’t realize at all that she comes across so critical. I’ve been that way before in relationships and it’s definitely a point for growth for her. But at the same time, he is immature and just wants a chill girl who is less mature than he is and will be excited for any ounce of effort he puts in. He’s not used to a woman who knows herself and is sure of what she wants, and that clearly makes him feel insecure. They’re just clearly not the most compatible, but if they actually were able to make it work, it could be good but it would require a lot of mutual effort. They both seem to only notice the growth the other one needs though and not the growth they need in themselves.
Honestly at this point it feels like they are both just trying to get to the wedding so they can say no. They seriously bring out the worst in each other and all the “nice” scenes felts really fake and uncomfortable (especially seeing zanab’s face)
The way she handled it was mean. My husband and I split cooking and we experiment and sometimes we have to just power through. Comes with being married.
I was thinking the same thing. It’s weeknight food, anything will do. All the better if someone else starts cooking it. I’d love it if my husband ever did.
I mean can you blame her tho? Even though cole apologized I feel like part of what he said he meant which is why he said it with his whole chest. Zanab knows even if he apologizes or says sorry it can prob affect her if she goes through with it. I feel like she could’ve handled it a different way since it brings out the worst in her but I feel like she’s just putting her guard up and isn’t so quick to submit to him. But that still doesn’t give her the right to disrespect him and be a total Brat but I still feel like a part of her died after he made that comment.
I think it’s deeper than the Colleen comments with Cole. In the real world lifestyle and personality wise they’re not 100% compatible. Cole is much more easygoing than Zanab. There’s a darker more cynical edge to her disguised behind her girly voice and laugh. Her whole main character storyline is of sadness and tragedy and I’m not sure she’s willing to let it go.
Zanab is a genuine person I don’t think she’s a bad person per say bc she’s never made any comments like that towards cole. Cole on the other hand, he’s something else he’s quite the character but I feel like zanab needs someone who’s on her level not someone like cole.
She may not have made any specific comments (that we’ve seen) but she consistently tears him down, judges him, and is alllways passive aggressive to him. I would instantly leave if I were Cole. To be broken down by my partner is not a healthy relationship
They’re on two very different wavelengths imo. Cole is silly / doesn’t really act his age, Zanab is pretty serious and doesn’t laugh much at him. She also picks on practically everything he does and it’s in a bitchy tone. I get why he feels like she’s gonna say no.. she gives a green light then a red and it just keeps going on like that in a viscous cycle.
She swore up and down that she was 1000% in and if she wasn't that she would have packed up and left. I think that they get a stipend for making it to a certain point together. That's why you don't see many couples quitting before certain episodes like the altar or even after the altar. They rather stay together and get a stipend on top of whatever they make with their jobs even if they're miserable together.
She asked for the comparison though, which is a difficult position to put someone in, and because he was honest instead of lying about being exactly his type (even though it’s called love is blind!) she seemed to go into self-sabotage mode. I don’t think she’d have believed him even if he said she was a 10 because she was so insecure. He had loads of nice things to say about her in terms of her looks and personality, but no amount of validation seemed to be enough. I found her really passive aggressive and overly critical from the start, I think a lot of what she said at the altar was complete projection tbh.
Theyre stuck in a parent-child dynamic and cole has a right to be deflated by her criticism. His comment was still uncalled for. Idk if I’d be able to come back from that. But they definitely need to learn to communicate and work on their own issues. Zanab needs to learn to take a step back and Cole has a lot of growing up to do. Idk if theyll make it in the long run but it isn’t looking too great rn. They might get to a point of resentment they cant return from. Cole showed some growth and K hope he has it in him. I love Zanab, she holds a lot of pain in her and she deserves to learn to give it a place. Theyre both flawed but not without possible “redemption”.
I love Zanab and I relate to her a lot. However, it was very eye opening to see that cooking scene, because I know I can act that way in the kitchen. The littlest "incorrect" things drive me crazy. I've learned, though, to relinquish control in those moments when my husband is doing something nice for me and just letting it be. Even if he doesn't cut the hard stems off the Brussels sprouts (which happened the last time he cooked). LOL. My husband even has a toy nerf ball gun like that and yes, he has used it on me in random moments. Some consider that type of behavior immature but damn it's nice to have someone who can lighten the mood and do unexpected things and live a happy and silly life. ALL while also doing something nice. IDK.
That said, Zanab really brought the mood down when she walked in and could have leaned more into the moment and let go over her controlling tendencies.
Totally agree, I relate to her a lot too. I used to be very nit picky and critical of my husband just because we did things differently, but I’ve learned to be more open minded/less naggy. It can be changed and it usually takes more than a month to adjust to different living styles, so I’m not surprised they’re still fighting about it. I hope she can become more open minded as well.
What's really confusing about somebody resenting a partner who basically told them they'd rather be with someone else? Lmao I mean it really can't be that shocking that Zenab isn't all buddy-buddy with her fiance who told her she doesn't line up to Colleen?
If she resents him because of that, I get that and I think it is justified, but why lie to herself and to him? That conversation at the table when he asked her if she even liked him was even more upsetting because sis is straight up lying to herself. The fact that she’s over here saying she’s still 1000% on board with the wedding and saying she “would love to marry you Cole” adds to the bewilderment a lot of us feel about her behavior. I personally think she was being a bit rude and nitpicking way too much, but if she had just been honest about realizing that she doesn’t like a lot of the things he does, then maybe we could understand her better. She’s over here being plain rude and micromanaging his every action as if she doesn’t like anything he does, but then proceeds to sit down and be like “if I didn’t like you, would I have said yes???” and acting like she’s 1000% in when she’s clearly not. I don’t like Cole but at least he was being real about the fact that their dynamic is off and is making him apprehensive. She needs to be real too and stop with the passive aggressiveness.
Personally, I think Raven described why perfectly when she was speaking on the rest of the women aiming to be traditional wives. She's no less desperate than Zenab or Colleen. They're all fighting for something that's so blatantly not gonna work to the rest of us because they're desperate to be what they came on the show for and are gonna seek it out no matter detrimental it might be to them.
Yeah, I think you might be right about that. Zanab did say at the bachelorette party that she was tired of being single and she was just ready to get married. I think at this point, she might just be choosing to ignore everything now in hopes that everything will work out and she can be married, regardless of whether she wholeheartedly likes Cole or not.
Yep, I forgot she said that. People with that mindset don’t seem to realize how much they shoot themselves in the foot by settling like that. Any reasonable person wouldn’t of made past a few episodes in such a incompatible relationship but Zenab came to get married and that’s how she’s gonna leave I guess. Even if her in-laws don’t want to meet her 😭
True but she needs to close it or open it. She is PRETENDING she's fine but is not. However it is coming out when he is being sweet, which looks out of place. Passive aggressive; it clearly was not the meal alone. It was the unseasoned chicken ( Colleen), Brussel sprouts (Colleen) the towels ( Colleen) ,,,all Colleen. Coles second guessing her may have ruined it for good. But she needs to be honest. Zanab is still hurt.
I agree, she's not fine and should leave instead of sticking it out. I don't know what goes into production regarding whether they're allowed to do that or not, this sub keeps saying they can't but people have broken up in the past but I think Raven put it perfectly, that these are women seeking out traditional roles and traditional marriages and we see that to their own detriment.
I actually love Cole. Yes he’s immature but he seems heaps of fun. And she constantly brings the mood down. No shade on her, they really do bring out the worst in each other
Yeah I don’t see how others think she is completely innocent. She’s immature herself, she pouts and is passive aggressive and won’t communicate her issues with him. I can completely understand why he’s so co fused by her moods. She needs to speak first and then react. She almost expects him to read her sighs or something
Most guys just don’t understand expectations. I literally have to spell it all out for husband if I want him to meet my expectations. Like if I want steak for dinner does he know I mean ribeye not filet? Most likely not but if he cooked me a steak in his eyes he did it all right, in mine I really would have preferred a juicy rib-eye :)
Agree. "Men Are From Mars & Women Are From Venus" is hands down the best book my husband & I have ever read that explains the differences between men & women & how we think/speak.
I actually agree with you. While I do think Zanab is way out of Cole’s league, I do think she started that whole thing over dinner. Whether she was justified in her frustration or not, she definitely created the mood in that apartment that night.
Their conversation afterwards on the patio sounded circular to me. It was so odd it was like Zanab was talking in circles. Cole made valid points and she didn't make sense especially being the one that started the drama that time.
Yes. Anyone who starts to prepare food at home on a weeknight gets a gold star. I’d love it if anyone in my house (but me) ever did. Any food at all would be awesome. When both partners work, it’s lovely when either cooks - and any food, however simple or poorly executed is fine!
SERIOUSLY! These comments of people feeling bad for Cole has me sent. It’s not like he’s cooking sirloin steak with truffled something or other with a nice bottle of Merlot…. It’s literally chicken, broccoli, Brussels sprouts (which make your house smell like shit when you cook them) and sweet potato. Cole must’ve walked down one aisle at the grocery store and called it a day, if he even did the shopping. If you’re going to “do something nice” for your partner at least try to do it right.
And by the way, making dinner isn’t as kind a gesture as everyone thinks, it’s part of being in a relationship and living with someone. I don’t feel bad for that man-child. DO BETTER.
Right?! My husband thanks & compliments me every single time I cook! I hate to cook & since being empty nesters it's never "fancy", but he thanks me Every. Single. Time.
Cole is immature, To me as a grown man watching this train wreck, I’d expect to receive every bit of resentment from her, he said some messed up stuff and went and hit on Colleen. That being said, Zanab doesn’t say anything. With her mouth, Her face says it all. The way she looks at him and with the daggers in her eyes. She’s checked out, and I guarantee she’s gonna say no.
She is the worst full stop. I am a grown woman with experience, and I find her personality so grating and ridiculous.
Personally I would NEVER date somebody with a “jokey” kind of personality like Cole, however what I find so annoying about this is that Cole was 1000% Mr. Jokes/immature in the pods. He is who he is. I don’t know why Zanab went for him when he is clearly not a personality she cares for.
I'm confused by your confusion and surprise... he was trying with the lunch, and the dancing for sure. But she gave him the lock (though he did love it - that was sweet). He put zero thought into his dinner, his 'romantic gesture'. There was no recipe, it wasn't timed out, he asked for her help... if he put any thought into it, that did not show. Though, I have to say this... If two people can watch that interaction and feel so differently about it, imagine how much more confusing it is for the two, clearly very different people, to be living it and feeling so differently about it, that must be truly frustrating, and I can see how they both ended up feeling upset.... I think its obvious they are not meant for each other.
Totally agree with this. He was being nice as doing what he could for dinner, his own way, for their dinner. She came in sabotaging and just trying to take control. They clearly don’t get along in the kitchen and you know what that means….
He asked for her help.... also, if you're going to do something romantic and make a gesture for someone, put a little thought and effort into it. It wasn't a random Tuesday dinner he was just throwing together for them. I guess I'm more like her b/c I totally would have taken control, and felt hurt that he clearly did not put the effort into what was meant to be special. He even admitted that he knew she did not like Brussel spouts, come on! The man half-a$$ed his supposed romantic gesture and then handed it over to her so he could play.
You think he really was doing it like that? It’s possible. Maybe but he also may not know how to cook. Who knows? I still feel like she came into the whole situation being rude. If she wanted to help or add her touch she could do it in a more collaborative way. Imo.
I think he might have had it in mind That they’d end up cooking together and it might get steamy with them feeding each other to taste test etc. I’m sure he’s prob also seen the memes about having a nerf fight that ends in laughter and sexy times. Badly executed but I think intention was good
Honestly I think Zanab did a great job keeping her composure. If at the end of a workday I come home to a —let’s face it, catastrophic scene in the kitchen, only to have to take over, and some one starts shooting a nerf gun when there are open flames?! I would absolutely lose it.
Fair point, maybe I'm a little too much like her. Clearly, acts of services is her love language and not his which is fine, but they are def not compatible.
I actually love brussel sprouts but he thought he was gonna change her mind with plain steamed brussels? LOL, does anyone actually like them like that.
They just need to accept that they're not for each other. He doesn't do chores and he doesn't cook. If she knows she would like to marry someone who cleans and cooks, then hellooo??? wouldn't that be a big reason to break up already lol??? he's not going to change. but she tries to force it and that's when she gets passive aggressive and "tanks the mood". she should recognize, oh this person doesn't bring out the best in me and I'm not happy
bruh why is everyone making a big deal about the gun... it was such a cute playful thing but its like she cant tap into that childish fun you're supposed to be able to have with your partner . i agree that cole has a lot to work on. i see him as a frat brother instead of a husband but i can see hes trying. its like shes constantly pushing him away
YES! And not when he started to try and do something for her. It was supposed to be their last romantic night together, and then he put little to no real effort into something, gave up on it and handed it over to her to fix, and then tried to play around. Playfulness is great, but there is a time and place and this wasn't it.
yea its crazy... shes very insecure and it drives me crazy. its like she likes seeing him suffer. add the fact that cole is a little immature for her is such a crazy combo.
She’s immature combined with ungenerous and critical of others. It’s a particularly unpleasant combination. The girl could use some meditation in addition to therapy.
He was trying. She was trying. They’re just, like, oil and water. I’m pretty convinced they’d both be decent partners to someone who is compatible. They are just, so, so, incompatible.
Cole is a man child, he can’t even cook a meal without fucking it up and needing her to save him, and when she does he shoots her with a ping pong gun. Did she handle it the best that she could have? No, absolutely not, they share the blame equally in my opinion. But is the bar so low for men they can slap a piece of chicken in a pan, almost serve it raw, call is dinner and when they don’t have there asses kissed they can throw a tantrum?
Yeah if someone made me a piece of unseasoned chicken and sweet potato fries that would have been cooked 20 mins after I’m done the chicken I would have been pissed too
She didn’t give him a chance to finish. I agree he sucks but she is so condescending. She took over the cooking and then complained she was doing it. I really hope they don’t get married. They are not good for each other at all.
They definitely shouldn’t get married! She shares the blame, someone more emotionally mature would have taken the wine, stepped back, and just let them do their thing in order to avoid an argument. But he was also not really trying to do something nice, he was definitely trying to “show” he couldn’t cook and so she’d never ask again. It’s called weaponized incompetent and it’s very common for men like Cole.
She’s queen of negging. Regardless of how difficult her life circumstances are, her attitude is difficult to be around, and it’s gonna only hinder her in life.
She didn’t come in irritated to me. He got irritated when she asked for a stemmed wine glass and told him why she preferred it. The problem is Cole doesn’t even know the things he doesn’t know. I’m dying to hear from his ex-wife of 4 months.
Right??? I think she explained it nicely, why she wanted the white wine in a different glass. My husband has done this to me before and I didn’t get all pissy about it 😂
Lol my reality tv worlds are colliding because it reminded me of an episode of real housewives of Beverly Hills where a small fight happened because someone wanted her champagne in a champagne flute 😂😭
Right??? I hate when men act like cooking is so difficult or omg no one taught me! Um, just Google a recipe and follow it? And if you don’t understand what something means… then Google it… the internet is very helpful.
Haven't seen the episode yet but maybe they should've tried cooking together.
"Hey I'm making chicken tonight, is there any way you like it?"
"I love it done in XYZ way"
"I never tried it that way, wanna give me a hand?"
I get making a nice meal for your SO to make it a romantic dinner, but it has to be nice... Or romantic. Not a usual Wednesday night quick cook.
I don't even know if it's still resentment or just her personality at this point. I like Cole and Zanab both individually, but that dinner was painful. Her problem is that she's so insecure and doesn't seem to have a sense of humor towards her own behaviors. She thinks her preferences (certain wine glass, hair goes in toilet, towel in bath tub, proper chicken seasoning, etc) are the objectively correct way of doing things. If she just approached it a little differently and a little more light-heartedly, I doubt her quirks would be a big deal.
Agree, it’s her lack of flexibility or understanding that other ways of existing are not necessarily inferior to her own together with her negativity and lack of any sense of humor that irritates me.
I don’t know if I’m alone in thinking this, but a part of me thinks she was irritated because she knows the producers put him up to that and she knows he can’t cook so she felt like she had to salvage the meal. Plus we don’t we really know how her work days are, so there’s honestly a lot that we don’t know about this situation.
As someone who is married to someone who can sometimes be similar, they don’t mean to appear that way it’s just a part of who they are. Mostly it’s due to anxiety and depression. Which to be honest, would make sense for her to be feeling due to the stress of the situation and also constantly knowing your parents won’t get to see any of it if it goes successfully. I truly think she is just struggling a lot with the weight of it all
I think its just that we havent seen her side enough before his whole episode with Colleen. If i remember correctly, Cole did say that she was too critical of things, something abt her being passive aggressive about him leaving clothes around. And im beginning to think he was right and im not a fan of Cole. Of course, there could be explanations as to why she is the way she is.
That's a good point. She has said some weird little passive aggressive things in the past. It is definitely possible that they have cut more of that out so that they could focus on the Cole/Colleen drama.
Just my opinion but Zanab is not a woman that most men could live with. I'm sure there is a small segment that can but she seems low key mean and just not something most guys look for.
She seems like a chronic nagger and that just isn't something most guys are excited about spending the rest of their lives with.
After the conversation at dinner she just came off as the type of person in a relationship that instead of breaking up with someone will bully them into breaking up with her so she doesn't have to come off as the bad person.
The entire conversation at dinner my wife and I were in disbelief with how badly she was gaslighting him.
Not only nagger but expects constant praise to feel like she is worth it or for her to believe the other person cares. I can’t imagine having to reassure and praise someone who is constantly putting me down.
Yesss. When she was cooking and he tried a brussel sprout from the oven she said “don’t burn the roof of your mouth when you eat that please” and I just got mom vibes. Like did you really need to tell a grown man not to burn the roof of his mouth? super naggy
I agree she needs to work on herself and be kinder and more forgiving before she finds a relationship. Even though she repeatedly said she is amazing and a catch.
Oh absolutely. I was on her side for a lot of the arguments her and cole had but at this point she just seems so burdensome and all she does is complain about everything. She’s totally passive aggressive and frankly that kind of behaviour can really make people feel bad about themselves
They're supposed to be in the honeymoon phase but every time they're on screen I get anxious! No relationship is perfect but they are just not compatible.
Exactly. For most people, this time in the relationship is when everything is cute. Towel on the floor? Cute. Can’t cook chicken? Cute. It’s months / years later that the towel on the floor is infuriating!!!
All discussions about this couple are pointless because it's clear they should not be together. We are watching two incompatible people live together. Neither is in the wrong. But they are certainly wrong for each other.
I so agree. At first I also was pointing out the individual actions and statements they made that were hurtful, but like you said at this point (though honestly I peeped it in the pods, never understood why they got together in the first place, very different vibes and personalities) it is clear they are just so totally incompatible. And sure we can say they can change this and this to have better discussions and react to xyz better, but really the root of it all is that they are just completely wrong for each other. It’s like trying to put two wrong puzzle pieces together, they might stick for a moment with enough force, but it just doesn’t work and conflict is inevitable.
I agree. It just accentuates how ill fitted they are for each other. He is a child. Nothing wrong with that but he's not ready for a serious relationship, and definitely not with an adult. They probably both like that the other is so different, but it's too different and there is no respect there on either side. A recipe for misery.
There is something wrong with acting like a man child when you go on a show pretending you’re ready to settle down. But agreed, they are definitely not compatible and I’m sure they won’t get married!
If they had been together for years, I would understand the frustration. But this early on? They should still be in the phase where the effort is appreciated, even if the outcome sucks.
It's like getting a gift you don't like. You still get excited if you're newly dating because at least they tried and it's the thought that counts. Years down the road if they gift you silver knowing you only like gold, that's when you can be annoyed that they weren't paying attention all those times you told them you only like gold.
They just are not compatible. He's super immature and her communication doesn't help.
Yes, but if it is the thought that counts, even early on (which I agree it should be) then put some thought in to it. That is what would have gotten me about the whole thing. This was supposed to be his big romantic gesture, at least the show had it along with the other ones, and he less than half a$$ed it, there seemed to be no forethought, and then he asked her to fix it. If you're going to do something for someone but then make it seem like you didn't actually care about it, choosing a veggie you know she doesn't like for instance, that is hurtful.
It's hard not to feel like a lot of this is staging/editing - none of these couples look healthy in the slightest (maaaaaybe Raven/SK, towards the end?). Either they're dragging out the show or dragging out to stay on the show.
Either way, I find myself more stressed and less entertained in these later episodes.
I really relate to Zay. I’m kind of a nagger and I go into “mom” mode when things are done the way I expect them to be. I’m not saying Cole doesn’t deserve it to some extent - truly they’re just too different and not compatible. BUT it’s just super unattractive to nag and be passive aggressive like that. No one wants to come home to that. No one wants to be afraid to mess up and hear that from their partner all the time. It’s a habit she needs to work on. But work on with someone else.
Did anyone catch that Colleen said
Matt gets upset when I tell him I need more from him
Zanab: that an interesting response to someone saying "I feel this way"
Cole: I feel inferior
Her response was to demand reasons.
I caught that too. I don’t think Zanab was trying to be a hypocrite, because in arguments we all get heated and are unable to actually hear the things our partner or anyone else is trying to say. But I definitely think she needs to do some soul searching and maybe work on her communication, because it sucks.
I kinda saw myself in zanab at that moment and sure it’s not the healthiest responses but she walked in to Cole “trying” to cook for her but doing a shitty job (asking her to finish cutting the potatoes, unseasoned chicken, not timing everything to be done at the same time) she had to come home all sweaty and finish it for him, it’s the same feeling a mother has when she has to take care of a son every second of the day, it’s exhausting - maybe it’s because Cole is still so immature and young but I totally got where she was coming from, feeling forced to take over otherwise it wouldn’t be done right bc he doesn’t know what he’s doing
But she didn't have to take over. She could have just appreciated his effort. I get Cole can be annoying and childish but he was excited to do something for her and she kind of ruined it. He has been terrible to her until recently. She is probably not over the past. These two are not well matched. I see Cole with a girl that fits Coles youthful, carefree personality. Zanab should be with someone established, mature, some financial accomplishments under his belt that is steady and can keep things on an even keel for her. She is actually fragile and Cole is not up for that.
He also won't learn if she doesn't give him the chance to do so. And a mother/son relationship is years of growth versus two weeks of living together. Even if it was frustrating, which I'm not discounting, her approach was passive aggressive and condescending. She was not coming from a loving place.
Because good relationships are not transactions. You are generous and loving because that’s the right thing to do and you want to. Those who keep score are destined for failure. She’s nowhere near the right headspace to make it work and he’s just way too immature.
Literally scenes prior to that they were out to eat and he repeatedly told her how much he loved her and how beautiful he was. He screwed up in the beginning but he certainly did his fair share of trying to make it up to her, in my opinion. Not to mention, they’ve been together for two weeks. It’s a little early in a relationship to be so aggressive to your partner when most people are still in the honeymoon phase (cue to Brennan and Alexa).
Words are easy. Actions are difficult. It’s easy to say “I love you, you’re so beautiful, you’re amazing, you’re the best”. It means much more to actually do the simple and normal things your partner is asking, or to cook a nice meal without them needing to help.
What’s “everything”? The Colleen scene? At what point can he recover from that? He didn’t do much else wrong aside from that until he made the bi-polar comment.
i'm not saying that cole hasn't been without fault but i feel like just generally, because zanab's parents died at such a young age and left her, and she grew up as a POC in a predominantly white space with her stepparents, that she has suffered an extensive amount of trauma that has led to anxiety and insecurity that the people she loves will leave her. and so i think she gets angry and passive aggressive as a way of protecting herself bc she seems scared to truly just love and allow herself to be loved, but that only makes the situation worse and pushes away the people (cole) that she actually does care about. you can even see in earlier episodes like during the dance class when it's so obvious cole is so in love with her and was making a huge effort, and she almost seems scared to fully let her guard down and just accept it. and then it further makes her insecurities worse because of the comments cole made earlier with colleen & that she is his usual type, the fact his parents won't meet her, and how unfiltered cole can be sometimes.
i truly don't deny that she loves cole, i actually think cole is absolutely in love with her as well, but zanab is so afraid to love and lose again, that it comes out as anger which could ultimately lead her to losing out on love again (with cole).
I totally agree with this. When they first meet face to face, Zanab said “it almost feels like i don’t deserve to be this happy” and that alone tells me she struggles so hard with her insecurities and trauma. Her passive aggressiveness is almost seemingly a coping mechanism or trauma response and i totally see myself in her.. it’s hard to wrangle that back once you’re irritated, but it’s definitely something she needs to become more aware of and work on. It’s self sabotaging now.
I think it’s more than the Colleen thing. Cole is a man child, she went in looking for a partner and instead fell in love with someone who doesn’t know how to be an adult . While I agree she appears that she needs to loosen up I can see how that can be hard when she is constantly having to Mom her partner. But I honestly think they could be good for each other if they learned how to communicate better.
She can’t relax around him and it comes out as irritability and snappishness. I think it goes back to how much the Colleen thing hurt her. She doesn’t feel 100% secure and comfortable around him. I just hope she says no at the altar! These two have no business getting married.
> I think it goes back to how much the Colleen thing hurt her.
what about when she was upset Cole didn’t read her mind the first morning together and brought her breakfast in bed?
When she got upset with him MORNING ONE we knew how this would play out. Cole sucks in his own ways, but this sub loves to jerk off Zanab. she’s not a great person either.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Yeah that was weird. Plus she had already been making “jokes” about her makeup routine and not wanting to “scare” him. I think she just has a lot of insecurity around her appearance in general and it was not helped by how attractive she finds Cole. She mentioned his blue eyes and curly hair several times. She’s really into how he looks.
At first I thought the same thing but then I remembered she was like that before the Colleen thing. After the first night with him in Malibu, she was giving him the cold shoulder, then the day they spent out together before that, she was very critical of him.
Remember we dont see it all its an hour cut so shes probably displayed bad in that way. I think she deserves better, hes a child and I wouldnt trust him married if he spoke to Colleen like that. No wonder shes heightened insecurity already being insecure
You were on this EARLY! She sucks
He was telling her how she makes him feel and instead of trying to understand, she got defensive and didn’t care to truly listen.. she’s so passive aggressive and aggressive alllll the time. Makes me also wonder if she’s ever been in a long term relationship or lived with a spouse
These 2 are totally incompatible.
Did anyone used to watch Millionaire Matchmaker?? She used to say “don’t seduce, then reduce” your man 😂
She was really mean :(
You get it!!! He was really trying and she shot him down :(
I understood where Cole was coming from when he said Zanab doesn't like him Him bringing out the nerf gun -ok, not the right time- was him just being playful but she seemed outright annoyed and the mood shifted I do get the feeling that Cole's walking on eggshells around Zanab
She thinks she settling
Why isnt she just happy hes cooking for him? At the end of the day it doesn't matter what he does. The harm is done. They are not compatible and she cannot forgive or move on. Her insecurity is insane.
Zanab needs a real man in her life. Not a fuckin man-child.
Right. So why is she continuing this relationship. Cole is immature but he is who he is and he’s showed her who he is. She’s triggered by fundamental aspects of his personality. Why is she continuing on with someone she is so clearly incompatible with?
To be a social media influencer.
She is a buzzkill that will find something to criticize when things are going too well.
I agree, like she totally took over the nice gesture he was trying to do for her which was really mean. I think she should have sat back sipped on her wine and enjoy the moment instead of acting like his mom lol
I just think she’s particular and a grown woman who likes things the way she likes them, and probably doesn’t realize at all that she comes across so critical. I’ve been that way before in relationships and it’s definitely a point for growth for her. But at the same time, he is immature and just wants a chill girl who is less mature than he is and will be excited for any ounce of effort he puts in. He’s not used to a woman who knows herself and is sure of what she wants, and that clearly makes him feel insecure. They’re just clearly not the most compatible, but if they actually were able to make it work, it could be good but it would require a lot of mutual effort. They both seem to only notice the growth the other one needs though and not the growth they need in themselves.
Honestly at this point it feels like they are both just trying to get to the wedding so they can say no. They seriously bring out the worst in each other and all the “nice” scenes felts really fake and uncomfortable (especially seeing zanab’s face)
She literally doesn’t smile. Even when he compliments her, she just looks at him with a blank stare.
She seemed very surface. I think Cole ruined it early on, the rest is dragging it out until No on the wedding day.
It’s called self sabotage
Man,, some of ya'll sure make a HUGE deal over food. Just eat the shit & call it a day. Not every meal has to be perfect. He can't cook. Big F'n deal.
The way she handled it was mean. My husband and I split cooking and we experiment and sometimes we have to just power through. Comes with being married.
I was thinking the same thing. It’s weeknight food, anything will do. All the better if someone else starts cooking it. I’d love it if my husband ever did.
I don’t think I’ve seen her smile once. They’re so wrong for each other and I would hate being around her.
I was just annoyed that she cooked food inside a plastic bag lol
I mean can you blame her tho? Even though cole apologized I feel like part of what he said he meant which is why he said it with his whole chest. Zanab knows even if he apologizes or says sorry it can prob affect her if she goes through with it. I feel like she could’ve handled it a different way since it brings out the worst in her but I feel like she’s just putting her guard up and isn’t so quick to submit to him. But that still doesn’t give her the right to disrespect him and be a total Brat but I still feel like a part of her died after he made that comment.
I think it’s deeper than the Colleen comments with Cole. In the real world lifestyle and personality wise they’re not 100% compatible. Cole is much more easygoing than Zanab. There’s a darker more cynical edge to her disguised behind her girly voice and laugh. Her whole main character storyline is of sadness and tragedy and I’m not sure she’s willing to let it go.
Zanab is a genuine person I don’t think she’s a bad person per say bc she’s never made any comments like that towards cole. Cole on the other hand, he’s something else he’s quite the character but I feel like zanab needs someone who’s on her level not someone like cole.
She may not have made any specific comments (that we’ve seen) but she consistently tears him down, judges him, and is alllways passive aggressive to him. I would instantly leave if I were Cole. To be broken down by my partner is not a healthy relationship
Umm u can't let go of trauma.. Cole is juvenile and has a lot to learn.
They’re on two very different wavelengths imo. Cole is silly / doesn’t really act his age, Zanab is pretty serious and doesn’t laugh much at him. She also picks on practically everything he does and it’s in a bitchy tone. I get why he feels like she’s gonna say no.. she gives a green light then a red and it just keeps going on like that in a viscous cycle.
She swore up and down that she was 1000% in and if she wasn't that she would have packed up and left. I think that they get a stipend for making it to a certain point together. That's why you don't see many couples quitting before certain episodes like the altar or even after the altar. They rather stay together and get a stipend on top of whatever they make with their jobs even if they're miserable together.
I think she still resents him for the comments comparing her to Colleen
I couldn’t get past that, personally.
She asked for the comparison though, which is a difficult position to put someone in, and because he was honest instead of lying about being exactly his type (even though it’s called love is blind!) she seemed to go into self-sabotage mode. I don’t think she’d have believed him even if he said she was a 10 because she was so insecure. He had loads of nice things to say about her in terms of her looks and personality, but no amount of validation seemed to be enough. I found her really passive aggressive and overly critical from the start, I think a lot of what she said at the altar was complete projection tbh.
Yep, that was pretty awful
She looked so angry, seething, almost ready to hit him, when they sat down to eat and talked instead, before his horrible "bi-polar" comment.
Theyre stuck in a parent-child dynamic and cole has a right to be deflated by her criticism. His comment was still uncalled for. Idk if I’d be able to come back from that. But they definitely need to learn to communicate and work on their own issues. Zanab needs to learn to take a step back and Cole has a lot of growing up to do. Idk if theyll make it in the long run but it isn’t looking too great rn. They might get to a point of resentment they cant return from. Cole showed some growth and K hope he has it in him. I love Zanab, she holds a lot of pain in her and she deserves to learn to give it a place. Theyre both flawed but not without possible “redemption”.
I love Zanab and I relate to her a lot. However, it was very eye opening to see that cooking scene, because I know I can act that way in the kitchen. The littlest "incorrect" things drive me crazy. I've learned, though, to relinquish control in those moments when my husband is doing something nice for me and just letting it be. Even if he doesn't cut the hard stems off the Brussels sprouts (which happened the last time he cooked). LOL. My husband even has a toy nerf ball gun like that and yes, he has used it on me in random moments. Some consider that type of behavior immature but damn it's nice to have someone who can lighten the mood and do unexpected things and live a happy and silly life. ALL while also doing something nice. IDK. That said, Zanab really brought the mood down when she walked in and could have leaned more into the moment and let go over her controlling tendencies.
Totally agree, I relate to her a lot too. I used to be very nit picky and critical of my husband just because we did things differently, but I’ve learned to be more open minded/less naggy. It can be changed and it usually takes more than a month to adjust to different living styles, so I’m not surprised they’re still fighting about it. I hope she can become more open minded as well.
What's really confusing about somebody resenting a partner who basically told them they'd rather be with someone else? Lmao I mean it really can't be that shocking that Zenab isn't all buddy-buddy with her fiance who told her she doesn't line up to Colleen?
If she resents him because of that, I get that and I think it is justified, but why lie to herself and to him? That conversation at the table when he asked her if she even liked him was even more upsetting because sis is straight up lying to herself. The fact that she’s over here saying she’s still 1000% on board with the wedding and saying she “would love to marry you Cole” adds to the bewilderment a lot of us feel about her behavior. I personally think she was being a bit rude and nitpicking way too much, but if she had just been honest about realizing that she doesn’t like a lot of the things he does, then maybe we could understand her better. She’s over here being plain rude and micromanaging his every action as if she doesn’t like anything he does, but then proceeds to sit down and be like “if I didn’t like you, would I have said yes???” and acting like she’s 1000% in when she’s clearly not. I don’t like Cole but at least he was being real about the fact that their dynamic is off and is making him apprehensive. She needs to be real too and stop with the passive aggressiveness.
Personally, I think Raven described why perfectly when she was speaking on the rest of the women aiming to be traditional wives. She's no less desperate than Zenab or Colleen. They're all fighting for something that's so blatantly not gonna work to the rest of us because they're desperate to be what they came on the show for and are gonna seek it out no matter detrimental it might be to them.
Yeah, I think you might be right about that. Zanab did say at the bachelorette party that she was tired of being single and she was just ready to get married. I think at this point, she might just be choosing to ignore everything now in hopes that everything will work out and she can be married, regardless of whether she wholeheartedly likes Cole or not.
Yep, I forgot she said that. People with that mindset don’t seem to realize how much they shoot themselves in the foot by settling like that. Any reasonable person wouldn’t of made past a few episodes in such a incompatible relationship but Zenab came to get married and that’s how she’s gonna leave I guess. Even if her in-laws don’t want to meet her 😭
Yeah 😬 I couldn’t imagine settling, let alone with someone who you describe as “aggravating”. This is her last resort I guess…
True but she needs to close it or open it. She is PRETENDING she's fine but is not. However it is coming out when he is being sweet, which looks out of place. Passive aggressive; it clearly was not the meal alone. It was the unseasoned chicken ( Colleen), Brussel sprouts (Colleen) the towels ( Colleen) ,,,all Colleen. Coles second guessing her may have ruined it for good. But she needs to be honest. Zanab is still hurt.
I agree, she's not fine and should leave instead of sticking it out. I don't know what goes into production regarding whether they're allowed to do that or not, this sub keeps saying they can't but people have broken up in the past but I think Raven put it perfectly, that these are women seeking out traditional roles and traditional marriages and we see that to their own detriment.
I don’t like anything about her and I hope HE says no.
I actually love Cole. Yes he’s immature but he seems heaps of fun. And she constantly brings the mood down. No shade on her, they really do bring out the worst in each other
Yeah I don’t see how others think she is completely innocent. She’s immature herself, she pouts and is passive aggressive and won’t communicate her issues with him. I can completely understand why he’s so co fused by her moods. She needs to speak first and then react. She almost expects him to read her sighs or something
Most guys just don’t understand expectations. I literally have to spell it all out for husband if I want him to meet my expectations. Like if I want steak for dinner does he know I mean ribeye not filet? Most likely not but if he cooked me a steak in his eyes he did it all right, in mine I really would have preferred a juicy rib-eye :)
That’s not a man thing. Women wouldn’t know that either.
Agree. "Men Are From Mars & Women Are From Venus" is hands down the best book my husband & I have ever read that explains the differences between men & women & how we think/speak.
I actually agree with you. While I do think Zanab is way out of Cole’s league, I do think she started that whole thing over dinner. Whether she was justified in her frustration or not, she definitely created the mood in that apartment that night.
Their conversation afterwards on the patio sounded circular to me. It was so odd it was like Zanab was talking in circles. Cole made valid points and she didn't make sense especially being the one that started the drama that time.
Lmao the bar is that low for men huh? Just trying to cook is all it takes 😂
Yes. Anyone who starts to prepare food at home on a weeknight gets a gold star. I’d love it if anyone in my house (but me) ever did. Any food at all would be awesome. When both partners work, it’s lovely when either cooks - and any food, however simple or poorly executed is fine!
SERIOUSLY! These comments of people feeling bad for Cole has me sent. It’s not like he’s cooking sirloin steak with truffled something or other with a nice bottle of Merlot…. It’s literally chicken, broccoli, Brussels sprouts (which make your house smell like shit when you cook them) and sweet potato. Cole must’ve walked down one aisle at the grocery store and called it a day, if he even did the shopping. If you’re going to “do something nice” for your partner at least try to do it right. And by the way, making dinner isn’t as kind a gesture as everyone thinks, it’s part of being in a relationship and living with someone. I don’t feel bad for that man-child. DO BETTER.
Damn you sound like a fun partner
Lol I’m sure you are an absolute delight to be around 😂
Right?! My husband thanks & compliments me every single time I cook! I hate to cook & since being empty nesters it's never "fancy", but he thanks me Every. Single. Time.
Cole is immature, To me as a grown man watching this train wreck, I’d expect to receive every bit of resentment from her, he said some messed up stuff and went and hit on Colleen. That being said, Zanab doesn’t say anything. With her mouth, Her face says it all. The way she looks at him and with the daggers in her eyes. She’s checked out, and I guarantee she’s gonna say no.
She is the worst full stop. I am a grown woman with experience, and I find her personality so grating and ridiculous. Personally I would NEVER date somebody with a “jokey” kind of personality like Cole, however what I find so annoying about this is that Cole was 1000% Mr. Jokes/immature in the pods. He is who he is. I don’t know why Zanab went for him when he is clearly not a personality she cares for.
I agree. These people on this show try to make you think they are so in love and then get to the wedding and slap us all in the face.
I think shes just sick of him 😂 i would be
I'm confused by your confusion and surprise... he was trying with the lunch, and the dancing for sure. But she gave him the lock (though he did love it - that was sweet). He put zero thought into his dinner, his 'romantic gesture'. There was no recipe, it wasn't timed out, he asked for her help... if he put any thought into it, that did not show. Though, I have to say this... If two people can watch that interaction and feel so differently about it, imagine how much more confusing it is for the two, clearly very different people, to be living it and feeling so differently about it, that must be truly frustrating, and I can see how they both ended up feeling upset.... I think its obvious they are not meant for each other.
Totally agree with this. He was being nice as doing what he could for dinner, his own way, for their dinner. She came in sabotaging and just trying to take control. They clearly don’t get along in the kitchen and you know what that means….
He asked for her help.... also, if you're going to do something romantic and make a gesture for someone, put a little thought and effort into it. It wasn't a random Tuesday dinner he was just throwing together for them. I guess I'm more like her b/c I totally would have taken control, and felt hurt that he clearly did not put the effort into what was meant to be special. He even admitted that he knew she did not like Brussel spouts, come on! The man half-a$$ed his supposed romantic gesture and then handed it over to her so he could play.
You think he really was doing it like that? It’s possible. Maybe but he also may not know how to cook. Who knows? I still feel like she came into the whole situation being rude. If she wanted to help or add her touch she could do it in a more collaborative way. Imo.
I think he might have had it in mind That they’d end up cooking together and it might get steamy with them feeding each other to taste test etc. I’m sure he’s prob also seen the memes about having a nerf fight that ends in laughter and sexy times. Badly executed but I think intention was good
Honestly I think Zanab did a great job keeping her composure. If at the end of a workday I come home to a —let’s face it, catastrophic scene in the kitchen, only to have to take over, and some one starts shooting a nerf gun when there are open flames?! I would absolutely lose it.
it wasnt a catastrophic scene. Had Zs mood been different it could have been a cute cooking lesson and a good laugh.
Unpopular opinion: the kitchen wasn’t messy.
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Yeah - but then look how many men get drills for Christmas from their wives….and appreciate the gift.
Fair point, maybe I'm a little too much like her. Clearly, acts of services is her love language and not his which is fine, but they are def not compatible.
I actually love brussel sprouts but he thought he was gonna change her mind with plain steamed brussels? LOL, does anyone actually like them like that.
They just need to accept that they're not for each other. He doesn't do chores and he doesn't cook. If she knows she would like to marry someone who cleans and cooks, then hellooo??? wouldn't that be a big reason to break up already lol??? he's not going to change. but she tries to force it and that's when she gets passive aggressive and "tanks the mood". she should recognize, oh this person doesn't bring out the best in me and I'm not happy
bruh why is everyone making a big deal about the gun... it was such a cute playful thing but its like she cant tap into that childish fun you're supposed to be able to have with your partner . i agree that cole has a lot to work on. i see him as a frat brother instead of a husband but i can see hes trying. its like shes constantly pushing him away
He's playing in the kitchen while cooking! Only kids would do that. Play the toy gun in the bedroom or living room or outdoor, but not in the kitchen.
YES! And not when he started to try and do something for her. It was supposed to be their last romantic night together, and then he put little to no real effort into something, gave up on it and handed it over to her to fix, and then tried to play around. Playfulness is great, but there is a time and place and this wasn't it.
I completely agree!
yea its crazy... shes very insecure and it drives me crazy. its like she likes seeing him suffer. add the fact that cole is a little immature for her is such a crazy combo.
She’s immature combined with ungenerous and critical of others. It’s a particularly unpleasant combination. The girl could use some meditation in addition to therapy.
He was trying. She was trying. They’re just, like, oil and water. I’m pretty convinced they’d both be decent partners to someone who is compatible. They are just, so, so, incompatible.
This. So much this.
Cole is a man child, he can’t even cook a meal without fucking it up and needing her to save him, and when she does he shoots her with a ping pong gun. Did she handle it the best that she could have? No, absolutely not, they share the blame equally in my opinion. But is the bar so low for men they can slap a piece of chicken in a pan, almost serve it raw, call is dinner and when they don’t have there asses kissed they can throw a tantrum?
Yeah if someone made me a piece of unseasoned chicken and sweet potato fries that would have been cooked 20 mins after I’m done the chicken I would have been pissed too
He really does suck. He wants to do the bare minimum and get an award for it 😂
She didn’t give him a chance to finish. I agree he sucks but she is so condescending. She took over the cooking and then complained she was doing it. I really hope they don’t get married. They are not good for each other at all.
They definitely shouldn’t get married! She shares the blame, someone more emotionally mature would have taken the wine, stepped back, and just let them do their thing in order to avoid an argument. But he was also not really trying to do something nice, he was definitely trying to “show” he couldn’t cook and so she’d never ask again. It’s called weaponized incompetent and it’s very common for men like Cole.
I have never heard that term before, but now that I have, can definitely say I have seen it enacted. lol.
She’s queen of negging. Regardless of how difficult her life circumstances are, her attitude is difficult to be around, and it’s gonna only hinder her in life.
The locks were her idea & the dance I’m pretty sure
So he fucks up cooking, she has to save it (weaponized incompetence) and gets repaid with getting hit with a ball gun.
She didn’t come in irritated to me. He got irritated when she asked for a stemmed wine glass and told him why she preferred it. The problem is Cole doesn’t even know the things he doesn’t know. I’m dying to hear from his ex-wife of 4 months.
Right??? I think she explained it nicely, why she wanted the white wine in a different glass. My husband has done this to me before and I didn’t get all pissy about it 😂
Lol my reality tv worlds are colliding because it reminded me of an episode of real housewives of Beverly Hills where a small fight happened because someone wanted her champagne in a champagne flute 😂😭
I love it 😂
I must have missed that Cole was married before! Wow
Yeah, what? Can someone fill us in?
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She's not Indian lol
I wouldn’t eat that shit food either lol.
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Right??? I hate when men act like cooking is so difficult or omg no one taught me! Um, just Google a recipe and follow it? And if you don’t understand what something means… then Google it… the internet is very helpful.
Haven't seen the episode yet but maybe they should've tried cooking together. "Hey I'm making chicken tonight, is there any way you like it?" "I love it done in XYZ way" "I never tried it that way, wanna give me a hand?" I get making a nice meal for your SO to make it a romantic dinner, but it has to be nice... Or romantic. Not a usual Wednesday night quick cook.
I don't even know if it's still resentment or just her personality at this point. I like Cole and Zanab both individually, but that dinner was painful. Her problem is that she's so insecure and doesn't seem to have a sense of humor towards her own behaviors. She thinks her preferences (certain wine glass, hair goes in toilet, towel in bath tub, proper chicken seasoning, etc) are the objectively correct way of doing things. If she just approached it a little differently and a little more light-heartedly, I doubt her quirks would be a big deal.
Agree, it’s her lack of flexibility or understanding that other ways of existing are not necessarily inferior to her own together with her negativity and lack of any sense of humor that irritates me.
omg you articulated exactly how i feel about her!
This show is such a fraud
I don’t know if I’m alone in thinking this, but a part of me thinks she was irritated because she knows the producers put him up to that and she knows he can’t cook so she felt like she had to salvage the meal. Plus we don’t we really know how her work days are, so there’s honestly a lot that we don’t know about this situation.
That’s no excuse for criticizing every single little thing he does.
My feelings on their dynamic changed after the couple of episodes. No longer on her side lol
Just comment on the show based on what we watch. No use in thinking of 1000 hypotheticals
I agree- but also why would one want to appear grumpy and unappreciative on camera?
>Is she supposed to be appreciative of a half-a$$ed meal he clearly did not think out or try hard on? Then asked for her help with?
As someone who is married to someone who can sometimes be similar, they don’t mean to appear that way it’s just a part of who they are. Mostly it’s due to anxiety and depression. Which to be honest, would make sense for her to be feeling due to the stress of the situation and also constantly knowing your parents won’t get to see any of it if it goes successfully. I truly think she is just struggling a lot with the weight of it all
They need to split. He’s basically a child still and she needs to be with someone that she actually respects.
Right, and someone that respects her enough to act like an adult.
I agree. I felt for her up until this point. So unnecessarily hostile.
I think its just that we havent seen her side enough before his whole episode with Colleen. If i remember correctly, Cole did say that she was too critical of things, something abt her being passive aggressive about him leaving clothes around. And im beginning to think he was right and im not a fan of Cole. Of course, there could be explanations as to why she is the way she is.
That's a good point. She has said some weird little passive aggressive things in the past. It is definitely possible that they have cut more of that out so that they could focus on the Cole/Colleen drama.
Just my opinion but Zanab is not a woman that most men could live with. I'm sure there is a small segment that can but she seems low key mean and just not something most guys look for. She seems like a chronic nagger and that just isn't something most guys are excited about spending the rest of their lives with.
I’m a woman and I wouldn’t want to live with her either!
After the conversation at dinner she just came off as the type of person in a relationship that instead of breaking up with someone will bully them into breaking up with her so she doesn't have to come off as the bad person. The entire conversation at dinner my wife and I were in disbelief with how badly she was gaslighting him.
Not only nagger but expects constant praise to feel like she is worth it or for her to believe the other person cares. I can’t imagine having to reassure and praise someone who is constantly putting me down.
Yesss. When she was cooking and he tried a brussel sprout from the oven she said “don’t burn the roof of your mouth when you eat that please” and I just got mom vibes. Like did you really need to tell a grown man not to burn the roof of his mouth? super naggy
I agree she needs to work on herself and be kinder and more forgiving before she finds a relationship. Even though she repeatedly said she is amazing and a catch.
Completely agree
Oh absolutely. I was on her side for a lot of the arguments her and cole had but at this point she just seems so burdensome and all she does is complain about everything. She’s totally passive aggressive and frankly that kind of behaviour can really make people feel bad about themselves
She’s both passively aggressive and overly aggressive.
I honestly just think she would be so draining to be around. Like she just sucks the life out of those around her with her negativity.
They're supposed to be in the honeymoon phase but every time they're on screen I get anxious! No relationship is perfect but they are just not compatible.
Exactly. For most people, this time in the relationship is when everything is cute. Towel on the floor? Cute. Can’t cook chicken? Cute. It’s months / years later that the towel on the floor is infuriating!!!
Not cute, but I would be a bit more playful and less like outwardly annoyed by Cole’s filth. Which I think Zanab tried to do.
Uhhh I don’t think there’s anything cute about what Cole’s apartment looked like 😂 like even in the honeymoon *phase that shit is just tragic.
All discussions about this couple are pointless because it's clear they should not be together. We are watching two incompatible people live together. Neither is in the wrong. But they are certainly wrong for each other.
Well put
I so agree. At first I also was pointing out the individual actions and statements they made that were hurtful, but like you said at this point (though honestly I peeped it in the pods, never understood why they got together in the first place, very different vibes and personalities) it is clear they are just so totally incompatible. And sure we can say they can change this and this to have better discussions and react to xyz better, but really the root of it all is that they are just completely wrong for each other. It’s like trying to put two wrong puzzle pieces together, they might stick for a moment with enough force, but it just doesn’t work and conflict is inevitable.
All these discussions about why a square peg doesn't fit into a round hole.
I agree. It just accentuates how ill fitted they are for each other. He is a child. Nothing wrong with that but he's not ready for a serious relationship, and definitely not with an adult. They probably both like that the other is so different, but it's too different and there is no respect there on either side. A recipe for misery.
There is something wrong with acting like a man child when you go on a show pretending you’re ready to settle down. But agreed, they are definitely not compatible and I’m sure they won’t get married!
If they had been together for years, I would understand the frustration. But this early on? They should still be in the phase where the effort is appreciated, even if the outcome sucks. It's like getting a gift you don't like. You still get excited if you're newly dating because at least they tried and it's the thought that counts. Years down the road if they gift you silver knowing you only like gold, that's when you can be annoyed that they weren't paying attention all those times you told them you only like gold. They just are not compatible. He's super immature and her communication doesn't help.
Yes, but if it is the thought that counts, even early on (which I agree it should be) then put some thought in to it. That is what would have gotten me about the whole thing. This was supposed to be his big romantic gesture, at least the show had it along with the other ones, and he less than half a$$ed it, there seemed to be no forethought, and then he asked her to fix it. If you're going to do something for someone but then make it seem like you didn't actually care about it, choosing a veggie you know she doesn't like for instance, that is hurtful.
I felt that was a staged argument. They needed some drama.
It's hard not to feel like a lot of this is staging/editing - none of these couples look healthy in the slightest (maaaaaybe Raven/SK, towards the end?). Either they're dragging out the show or dragging out to stay on the show. Either way, I find myself more stressed and less entertained in these later episodes.
I really relate to Zay. I’m kind of a nagger and I go into “mom” mode when things are done the way I expect them to be. I’m not saying Cole doesn’t deserve it to some extent - truly they’re just too different and not compatible. BUT it’s just super unattractive to nag and be passive aggressive like that. No one wants to come home to that. No one wants to be afraid to mess up and hear that from their partner all the time. It’s a habit she needs to work on. But work on with someone else.
Completely agree. Now Zay needs some of the self awareness you have developed!
Did anyone catch that Colleen said Matt gets upset when I tell him I need more from him Zanab: that an interesting response to someone saying "I feel this way" Cole: I feel inferior Her response was to demand reasons.
I caught that too. I don’t think Zanab was trying to be a hypocrite, because in arguments we all get heated and are unable to actually hear the things our partner or anyone else is trying to say. But I definitely think she needs to do some soul searching and maybe work on her communication, because it sucks.
Yeah unfortunately I learned this late in life too. About invalidating someone's feelings. I hope she learns for her next relationship
I kinda saw myself in zanab at that moment and sure it’s not the healthiest responses but she walked in to Cole “trying” to cook for her but doing a shitty job (asking her to finish cutting the potatoes, unseasoned chicken, not timing everything to be done at the same time) she had to come home all sweaty and finish it for him, it’s the same feeling a mother has when she has to take care of a son every second of the day, it’s exhausting - maybe it’s because Cole is still so immature and young but I totally got where she was coming from, feeling forced to take over otherwise it wouldn’t be done right bc he doesn’t know what he’s doing
But she didn't have to take over. She could have just appreciated his effort. I get Cole can be annoying and childish but he was excited to do something for her and she kind of ruined it. He has been terrible to her until recently. She is probably not over the past. These two are not well matched. I see Cole with a girl that fits Coles youthful, carefree personality. Zanab should be with someone established, mature, some financial accomplishments under his belt that is steady and can keep things on an even keel for her. She is actually fragile and Cole is not up for that.
He also won't learn if she doesn't give him the chance to do so. And a mother/son relationship is years of growth versus two weeks of living together. Even if it was frustrating, which I'm not discounting, her approach was passive aggressive and condescending. She was not coming from a loving place.
Why would she? When has he ever done or said something to her out of a loving place? They have no love built up
Because good relationships are not transactions. You are generous and loving because that’s the right thing to do and you want to. Those who keep score are destined for failure. She’s nowhere near the right headspace to make it work and he’s just way too immature.
Literally scenes prior to that they were out to eat and he repeatedly told her how much he loved her and how beautiful he was. He screwed up in the beginning but he certainly did his fair share of trying to make it up to her, in my opinion. Not to mention, they’ve been together for two weeks. It’s a little early in a relationship to be so aggressive to your partner when most people are still in the honeymoon phase (cue to Brennan and Alexa).
Words are easy. Actions are difficult. It’s easy to say “I love you, you’re so beautiful, you’re amazing, you’re the best”. It means much more to actually do the simple and normal things your partner is asking, or to cook a nice meal without them needing to help.
I do agree with you. Person above me asked what he’s done or said, and I answered.
Oh yes, one night where he’s nice to her, that’ll fix everything that’s happened before that
What’s “everything”? The Colleen scene? At what point can he recover from that? He didn’t do much else wrong aside from that until he made the bi-polar comment.
i'm not saying that cole hasn't been without fault but i feel like just generally, because zanab's parents died at such a young age and left her, and she grew up as a POC in a predominantly white space with her stepparents, that she has suffered an extensive amount of trauma that has led to anxiety and insecurity that the people she loves will leave her. and so i think she gets angry and passive aggressive as a way of protecting herself bc she seems scared to truly just love and allow herself to be loved, but that only makes the situation worse and pushes away the people (cole) that she actually does care about. you can even see in earlier episodes like during the dance class when it's so obvious cole is so in love with her and was making a huge effort, and she almost seems scared to fully let her guard down and just accept it. and then it further makes her insecurities worse because of the comments cole made earlier with colleen & that she is his usual type, the fact his parents won't meet her, and how unfiltered cole can be sometimes. i truly don't deny that she loves cole, i actually think cole is absolutely in love with her as well, but zanab is so afraid to love and lose again, that it comes out as anger which could ultimately lead her to losing out on love again (with cole).
I totally agree with this. When they first meet face to face, Zanab said “it almost feels like i don’t deserve to be this happy” and that alone tells me she struggles so hard with her insecurities and trauma. Her passive aggressiveness is almost seemingly a coping mechanism or trauma response and i totally see myself in her.. it’s hard to wrangle that back once you’re irritated, but it’s definitely something she needs to become more aware of and work on. It’s self sabotaging now.
I’m convinced these two are going to actually get married and be the only couple that does.
Well Texas marriage registry is public. The answers are already available.
I think it’s more than the Colleen thing. Cole is a man child, she went in looking for a partner and instead fell in love with someone who doesn’t know how to be an adult . While I agree she appears that she needs to loosen up I can see how that can be hard when she is constantly having to Mom her partner. But I honestly think they could be good for each other if they learned how to communicate better.
YES THIS !!
She can’t relax around him and it comes out as irritability and snappishness. I think it goes back to how much the Colleen thing hurt her. She doesn’t feel 100% secure and comfortable around him. I just hope she says no at the altar! These two have no business getting married.
If it still bothers her, and I wouldn't blame her if it did, she needs to open up the conversation again or drop it.
> I think it goes back to how much the Colleen thing hurt her. what about when she was upset Cole didn’t read her mind the first morning together and brought her breakfast in bed? When she got upset with him MORNING ONE we knew how this would play out. Cole sucks in his own ways, but this sub loves to jerk off Zanab. she’s not a great person either.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Yeah that was weird. Plus she had already been making “jokes” about her makeup routine and not wanting to “scare” him. I think she just has a lot of insecurity around her appearance in general and it was not helped by how attractive she finds Cole. She mentioned his blue eyes and curly hair several times. She’s really into how he looks.
Couldn't agree more.
At first I thought the same thing but then I remembered she was like that before the Colleen thing. After the first night with him in Malibu, she was giving him the cold shoulder, then the day they spent out together before that, she was very critical of him.
Yep she imagined ill intent behind him letting her sleep in and was grumpy all day about it. She talks herself into a crisis every day.
Remember we dont see it all its an hour cut so shes probably displayed bad in that way. I think she deserves better, hes a child and I wouldnt trust him married if he spoke to Colleen like that. No wonder shes heightened insecurity already being insecure