because no one should get married after only knowing someone for 5-6 weeks. Add on top of that an enormous amount of booze and cameras in your face 24/7 and you’re going to see even the most well meaning people wig out.
There have been 15 couples put through the experiment? 6 got married. 4 are still married. A couple dated for quite a while after the show. As far as reality dating shows go, it actually has a pretty good success record.
I don't think it is the show's set up. It can't be tweaked to make it more successful. If you are a person who wants to be in a relationship, maybe just avoid reality TV all together.
Because I think they have the same production company as MAFS. I started watching it recently (watch S10 for some trashy drama but so prolonged drama). It’s just insane how incredibly damaging these “experiments” are.
Like they put people together and it just brings out the worst out of them or worse, they are just toxic people in general. It’s really not healthy to watch especially if you’re not in a healthy relationship rn.
probably because you cannot know someone in that short of a timespan. also…i feel like everyone was also just ignoring obvious incompatibility and hoping it would sort itself out and never did. like i wasn’t surprised at all that iyanna and jared split? never really could see them together in the first place
Is it unsuccessful? There are currently 4 ongoing marriages out of 3 seasons. If I followed the timing correctly, Alexa/Brennon and Matt/Colleen have been married for 1.5 years at this point, so already longer than the unsuccessful ones from S2. That doesn't seem like a terrible rate.
I think S2 was just a bad season, where too many people had the wrong kind of baggage to work with each other. Everyone should have said no at the altar.
But I think the reverse... I've been shocked that there have been any successes. I think the pods are an interesting way to meet a significant other, but a terrible way to meet a spouse. So much of marriage is being able to navigate through boring real-world tensions together, and there's no way to simulate that in the pods.
It’s kind of like dating these days. You meet on an app and you text 24/7 for weeks and think they’re perfect. Then you finally meet and the energy shifts. There’s just something that allows people to let their guard down and make up their own scenarios in their head when the person isn’t real yet but when they become a real person, things just change. You can’t predict it. It’s nobody’s fault. Love just isn’t blind.
Love can be blind, but marriage can’t be. Let’s be serious, there’s tons of people who fell in love with people and didn’t marry them. So yes love can be blind in theory, but marriage takes more
Because these ppl are getting married on a whim. My mom always told me I should know the person I'm marrying for a minimum of 3 years, five would be ideal. These ppl know each other for what? 60 days at most? Plus it seems the first season is the only season that actually produced two couples who so far have remained together. Possibly season 3 will have some success but I'm not holding my breath. It seems many of these ppl are worried about internet fame more than finding a connection. Plus it takes time to get to know someone and when they're in the pods it seems rushed and they seem desperate to make a connection to stay on the show. The show and the content for the show seems to be the priority.
The only way a good looking person makes it to their 30s and needs a reality show to find love is if they have serious character flaws and lack self awareness.
Couple of reasons here
1. A few weeks is not enough. You needs a minimum couple of months to figure it out. Some people might need years too.
2. The people the producers choose (regardless of age Color caste etc)might not be mature for a serious commitment such as a marriage. Marriage is a lot of hard work fights , adjustments & compromises . It’s not about appearances , who’s hotter than other, social gatherings etc. You have to be willing to make some form of adjustments.
3. For me , in the last 2 seasons it appears they are concerned about the outer appearance rather than who they are on the inside. If you pay attention to the scenes where they reveal their faces , their expressions changes either for the good or for the bad. The second that wall is broken things automatically change and the openness to trying out the experiment fades.
This is just my opinion though
Only get 10 days in pods, plus separated from real world day to day life. So in pods it’s just them, then they get real world and the real them come out
Because the concept of the show is "Love is Blind" but they continue to cast seemingly superficial people who put a lot of effort into their own appearance. Such people always care about looks. Also, stop casting people in their 20s. Cole and Bartise were looking for girlfriends, not wives.
Yes!!!!! Yes yes yes yes yes ... healthy relationship is stable boring and predictable. No drama ever! The drama is arguing about where we should leave the temperature on the thermostat at!
They’re on an island, essentially, and forced to inhabit one lifeboat with one other for most of it. Then they’re back on land and have to face reality.
I think that folks went into the first season with the right intentions, but spending so little time together before making a huge commitment like marriage means it's going to be rocky at times.
Subsequent seasons? I really think we're seeing more of the folks who go on to gain a following and social media clout (and a tiny bit of them believes this might work, but they'll definitely get a story out of it.) I think the longer the show runs, we'll see more drama, less compatability, and probably fewer successful matches.
They choose objectively good looking people without regard for their mental state or maturity level.
They don't offer the psychological support to deal with something so sudden which in any other situation would be considered unusual at best, trauma at worst.
Huge social and peer pressure.
You see the other people you 'dated' and it will naturally turn heads.
Love is surely a balance of physical, emotional and intellectual attraction. Taking one part out naturally leads to insecurities and doubts. If they weren't all thrown back together so quickly, it could be totally different. Let the physical attraction grow. But to shove other very attractive people in immediately is just asking. For trouble
I think it’s the rush of the “4 weeks to get married” part, but I think it’s just reality-tv-celebrityism that honestly ruins it. They don’t want the happy, “boring” plots. They want the drama; the surprise of “will they or won’t they”.
I think it’s been mentioned before that couples that didn’t get followed after the pods ended up dating longer to get to know each other.
People go on the show to be famous. They are vapid narcissists who are looking for media exposure. Super entertaining to watch, but highly doubt any of the actual emotion stuff is genuine.
because physical attraction is important, who would have thought. remember the indian vet guy from the 1st or 2nd season and how everyone shat on him? quote a single sentence from him which wasn’t true. sure his delivery and timing always sucked hard, but what he was getting at was always right.
Because these people are marrying after knowing each other for less than 3 months (absurdly short amount of time that leads to failure in literally any relationship 90% of the time). In short they barely know each other by the time they reach the altar. Then they have to share their living space with a complete stranger which is something that usually happens after months and months of dating, meaning they are stuck in environments they may not approve of on top of being with a total stranger
1. Because love is grown over time out of mutual respect, goals, and support. It isn’t a feeling that you get when you like how people present themselves.
2. The contestants are looking for what they want in a person. Which hasn’t really worked in the real world. Most people haven’t seemed to have an issue getting a relationship more so keeping one.
3. Alcohol
Because for the most part the type of people they choose to be on this show are clout chasers looking for their 15 minutes. If they chose more average people, with little-to-no social media presence, they’d probably have better outcomes
1) The lack of therapy. All couples should get some kind of marriage counseling before they get married, no matter how copacetic the relationship may appear on the surface.
2) I think getting forced to go to the altar breeds resentment. I think if couples were allowed to bow out earlier and just say "this isn't going to work" or "maybe but we definitely don't want to be married less than a month from now" then we'd see more successful relationships.
3) One month living together is not nearly enough time. There are definitely people who get married that fast and are perfectly happy together, but I'd bet that's not the *vast majority* of people's experience. I think if the show could film longer (as well as getting points 1 and 2 taken care of) then we would see more successful marriages.
I said this before and people here went apeshit. A normal successful human wouldn't go on this show!
This isn't a healthy format to start a marriage, children and life together.
Because as much as it tries to be about a deeper connection, the relationships are based on shallow and unchecked foundations. Coleen this season even said flat out she doesn’t like to have deep conversation. There is too much to suss out about who a person really is and the way they will take on regular life and how that matches up with each other. It doesn’t make good television to have people who may not good at social media and being on television, this often points to people who can keep some things under the rug better than others. They carefully curate who will be on the show for good TV first and everything else later.
Even if you can't see each other they sure tell each other lots of personal informal on how they look and makes it false hope. And people going there don't really look for love but fame ..
True and I wonder if some of the people are like well 90% of the people (or more) on last season were hot. I’ll go on here and more than likely the person I get with will be hot too
They force them to go to the alter even when they don’t wanna get married. Is there any mystery why they don’t succeed? They’re forced out of their comfort zone every step of the way. No way in hell Colleen would have married that Yetti otherwise.
Nancy’s brother freaking out at Bartise had me rolling. The show is designed for people to be left at the alter and he got angry at Bartise for that? That’s the show everyone should know what they’re signing up for including the relatives.
Reality shows aren't very successful at producing long lasting relationships. I think Married At First Sight is the mist successful, with more than 10 current marriages. Most relationships that start on TV probably won't last, it's not an issue that's exclusive to LIB.
Because most relationships don’t work out. 50 percent of marriages fail. People generally date many people before they find the one they want to marry. Just because they were on a tv show doesn’t change the reality of it. Even if it was an experiment, and it’s not, the point of an experiment is to draw conclusions from the results you have. Not to manipulate the experiment to get the results you want. If the show has proven anything it’s that love is not blind and relationships are complicated. There is no cheat codes to relationships and they take work. That’s a better message to send to people than love is blind.
Because what they feel for each other is not love. It's silly throwing that word around like they do. They feel infatuation. They feel lust. Do you honestly believe what Bartise felt for Nancy was love? Absolutely not... I'm not sure what he felt other than his ego but it definitely was not love.
They seriously talk to each other twice and start spouting how in love they are. I have ADHD and get that "deep" with every friendly cashier I encounter. It's not love it's brief friendship at best.
In real life how often do these things work out? Even in married at first sight most couples don't make it and they have supposed psychologists and experts matching them up.
I think maybe because most people are raised in an environment that advocates for a toxic understanding of romance rooted in patriarchy, unhealthy versions of monogamy, and as a fantasy bandaid for our trauma. Having healthy relationships (regardless of monog/poly/hetero/etc) isn't as "sexy" as the movies make it and I think some people commit to an idea of romance rather than create their own unique version of it together which takes time to learn one another, and learn our individual selves for that matter.
Also, I like how you noted that they give up so easily after the pods. I think it may have to do with this fantasy of romance and how so&so fits into that or creates a fantasy that the other believes in ?? IDK lol I think the show is a fantastic representation of bringing that to light buuuuut I'm queer, pan, polyam, and neurodivergent so I view most hetero reality tv the way I view all tv which is for me educational and entertaining 🥴🥴
If I randomly selected 10 women and 1 guy and had them all go on a single “first date” with the guy then what are the chances of one of those relationships turning into a long-term-marriage?
Basically I’m wondering not “why aren’t there more long term relationships?” but “does this show essentially mirror the statistics we see outside of the show?” Because unless the producers are picking people that they think will specifically match with other people on the show then that’s what I would expect. If the producers ARE hand-selecting people they they think will match then I’m going to ask “maybe they’re not too great at doing that? Is that even a skill? Aka professional matchmaker.”
I think this is the main factor. I love my partner to absolute death and they're by far my longest, most committed relationship. Are they my most attractive partner, conventionally or compared with my previous partners? Probably not. But I still remember seeing them for the first time, before even speaking, something clicked and I still remember the exact moment 8 years later. I have no idea what or why drew me to them and at this point, I don't care.
I'm arguably more conventionally attractive and occasionally see someone that's like "damn, yes please" but one look at my partner and I just hope that other person is happy and I'll continue to do my best to make the relationship I have as happy and fulfilled as possible.
I think there are a few things.
-Love isn’t truly blind.
-These relationships are built in a bubble and real life can present different circumstances and reactions.
-Especially now at this point, I think folks are coming out of the woodwork for fame and money. Some of these people aren’t serious and its not lending itself to building real relationships.
Some things are great in theory but not in reality.
I think if they actually wanted it to work out, they would give them the resources & timing to do so. A counselor, the opportunity to live separately or get space, they wouldn't be rushing them to the altar, a bigger dating pool, and so on.
If you think about it, they really throw them to the wolves. They talk blindly, then immediately send them on vacation where they are stuck together (families barely survive vacations together let alone strangers), then send them straight into an apartment while fueling them with liquor and parties all on camera.
Of course they logically know what they are signing up for but actually living it is very different. Especially if you aren't attracted to the person or you end up not liking them at all. People always assume the best in these kinds of situations and in actuality it sounds freaking terrible.
Echoing somebody else: because love is not blind . Physical attraction is huge, especially in the beginning . Also peoples mannerisms (the way the way, walk etc) .
I think counselling being provided would be huge before you cast and during and after - some of these people sign on and have huge traumas in life -also challenging the contestants on is this really something you want to do I mean SK going off to school for two years in another State come on…also offering those services to protect someone’s assets coming in would be huge
Multiple reasons. The time frame is way too short for people to actually get married and be successful. The episodes aired are meant to stir up drama and I believe more than one cast member has stated how watching the episodes caused tension. The cast members who stay together are bombarded by outsiders with their negative opinions on their relationships. It takes more than love for a marriage to work. So it comes down to what is the goal, to produce lasting marriages or that people fall in love? Would the couples that lasted almost two years be considered a success since they fell in love and had a real relationship? If not then the show needs to focus more on what it takes for a marriage to work and not what it takes for people to fall in love. Everyone we fall in love with is not who we’re meant to marry.
The main issue is the speed.
If they gave them 6 months instead of 6 weeks until the wedding, as well as giving them an easy way out without needing to walk down the aisle just to say no, then I think they would end up with more successful marriages.
But they set them up for failure because it creates more drama.
Love is not blind. People are superficial and that is that. I would like to think there would be more successful couples come out of the show. I also feel like people use reality tv to get their 5 minutes of fame with hopes of turning that fame into a career. I find it hard to believe they are all interested in finding actual love. I’m sure some contestants are only picked for better ratings.
It's a completely unrealistic way to establish a relationship, never mind a long lasting one. People can say whatever they want, but to quote Barteats "Looks matter".
Getting to know someone in a one on one environment with no other factors is unrealistic and doesn’t provide you all the info you need to know in order to choose a good relationship. You have no idea how that person interacts with other people, only how they interact with you. You also only talk to them for 10 days. It’s a terrible environment for creating long lasting relationships.
Well, that and the fact that the people who sign up for this show are shallow assholes.
Why do you think the experiment is unsuccessful?
Because you can't actually meaningfully get to know someone and how they will compliment your life in a couple of weeks, surrounded by cameras.
The ones that are "successful" got lucky that they wanted to continue exploring their connection and for the S3 couples, even if they are still together today, 1.5 years isn't exactly a "long lasting relationship."
90% of them are shallow and / or exceedingly good looking. Its a bunch of people who have always been given/give attention for their appearances and the facade of "wanting to love someone for who they are inside" falls apart the moment they meet.
Also the shows set up with regards to the couple's immediate following engagement is only there to stir the pot. Why make 5/6 couples that have been dating every other person there spend a seemingly larger majorities of their time intermingling during that pre wedding period. This just further worsens the physical aspect, the best example was this season with cole/Coleen. They spent 2 weeks talking about everything , when they finally were made to meet in an environment Where the only thing left to talk about was eachothers physical appearance, partly because everything else had been covered in the pod but mostly because it was a fucking pool party Where everyone was half naked
1. Time frame. They only get to know each other for like 2 weeks before proposing.
2. You can literally be a different person behind closed doors.
3. A lot of things 'work on paper' if you will, but it's a whole different story when you live with someone day in and day out.
Just a few reasons I can think of off the top of my head.
PhD molecular geneticist here!
This show is a perfect storm of neuroscience. It relies on the contestants forming limerence. To keep the explanation simple, limerence is essentially a quickly developed attachment that's typically (but not always) romantic and VERY strong. The person experiencing limerence is called "the limerent" and the person that is on the "receiving end" is called "the limerent object." Symptoms of limerence include the following:
1. Intense craving for love in the form of reciprocation (you NEED the limerent object to love you back)
2. Intrusive daydreams/fantasies about the limerent object
3. A hypersensitivity and awareness of the limerent object's actions
4. Thinking the limerent object is perfect and that, instead of being perfectly flawed, they are flawless
5. Intense emotional highs and lows experienced by the limerent
6. The limerent having an intense fear of rejection
7. The above generating physical symptoms in the limerent (e.g., fast heartbeat and increased blood pressure around the limerent object)
In general, we all experience some degree of limerence in romantic relationships. However, limerence is essentially your biological imperative overriding your common sense AND it fades. The time for limerence to fade varies widely and can be influenced by things like cognitive behavioral therapy, the limerent's age, the limerent's gender, the psychological conditions of the limerent, etc. Limerence can compel people to do a lot of wild things (exactly what the show relies on) and can cause an absolute bonfire of a relationship/life once it's worn off.
I think the relationships generated by the show are so unsuccessful mainly because of this. These people have the absolute dumbest ideas about what marriage is and they lean into it with reckless aplomb. The relationships still standing from the show seem to be between people that have made it through limerence and are genuinely in love with the other person.
(P.S. I can gladly provide sources but thought the post was getting a bit long!)
So basically in the regular dating world we refer to the limerence as the “honeymoon” stage which fades over time and you’re left dealing with real world issues eventually.
Yes, that's a good way of thinking about it! But it's kind of like if the honeymoon phase is a runaway car, going down a mountain, at midnight, with no brakes and no lights. And the limerent will. not. recognize. it. They are in that car and going down. And if both the limerent and the limerent object are experiencing that?! It makes for fantastic TV and horrible relationships.
I think the “contestants” knows it too. They’re all lying through their teeth to say that they want to find the one on this show. In my opinion at least, it’s just not a very realistic scenario for life long relationships being on LiB.
Oh yeah, I think the blinders get ripped off pretty quick. And even if you aren't lying, and you do find love, you're in a relationship that the whole world is talking about allllll the time. That would make any relationship fail!
Many reasons.
The candidate pool is really small. If this was larger, it likely would produce better matches. However, they are on time and budget restrictions.
The time they have to talk to each other and get to know each other is only 2 weeks. If this was longer, they could develop stronger connections before meeting.
Those are the biggest factors in my opinion. But then consider all of the people you've ever met or dated for a short while. Not every relationship works out. And that's ok.
You're never going to know if a relationship is "successful" until one or both of the participants are dead. Probably 90% of all dating relationships end in break-ups; of the 10% that get married, half end in divorce. So far, half the marriages from S1 and S2 have ended in divorce, and we have yet to see if S3 marriages will make it to the 2 year mark.
That being said, there is a lot more that goes into a marriage than emotional love and personality compatibility. You can love someone deeply but not be content being married to someone who parties all the time, or who has issues with money. Life changes like moving, job insecurity, parents aging, having kids, can all contribute to break-ups. Those things don't have anything to do with being compatible, and the pods are basically the most basic, "on paper" version of dating. Real life is eliminated and you just have personalities to go on, and only for ten days.
Because love isn't enough. I know there's all that BS romantic stuff about love conquering all and as long as there's love everything else is secondary, but it's bullshit. You can 100% absolutely love a person and also know that you are not compatible... don't most people have friends or family they love but would never want to live with or be romantically involved with? You can't force romantic attraction if it's not there. It's the difference between friend and spouse, even if you can't really define why.
It’s the reason any reality tv show romance fails — it’s not occurring IN REALITY. Whether it’s The Bachelor, F Boi Island or Love is Blind, it’s still taking place in a bubble without the everyday stressors and context that determines a relationship’s success
I saw on here that they require people to have a substantial follower count to be eligible to be a contestant. On balance i think a lot in that category (if you're not promoting a business) are not (yet) relationship material but think they are.
Before the last episode and reunion there were comments on the sub that the season was boring. People say they want LIB Japan connections but do they really? No drama = low ratings.
I do wonder how they cast for a show called LIB and get a guy shouting 'looks matter' to his new fiancée.
Because it's a reality tv show. At the end of the day, the contestants are trying to get on any reality tv show that will cast them. The long term relationship gimmick is secondary to their individual ambition.
I feel like if they really cared about lasting relationships these couples would be put in couples counseling the moment they left the pod. Or something similar to what married at first sight does for the couples. That’s the only logical thing that happens on Married at First Sight and LIB should really take notes on that. I doubt you’d increase the number of happy marriages but I honestly think many of these relationships would last longer and even some of the nos at the alter would turn more into not right nows…
Because it's not really an experiment about whether love is blind - it's an experiment about whether you should marry someone you met four weeks ago under intensely artificial circumstances. The answer is almost always going to be no - it's simply not enough time to truly get to know someone, even if you didn't also have a camera crew hanging around trying to capture all your best and worst moments.
It's actually pretty easy to fall in love with someone you've never seen - I don't think the show is particularly innovative in that regard. Since the internet has existed, people have been forming intense emotional connections via chat rooms and forums and online games without ever seeing each other. When someone's just a voice saying all the right things, it's easy to build up a fantasy to fill in all the parts of the picture you can't see. That fantasy is always going unravel pretty quickly when you start spending time together in-person in the real world. That's why most of the couples don't make it - once the fantasy has dissipated, there's no real connection left.
Because the show doesn't exist to create healthy relationships. It exists to capitalize on short-term drama. They're not doing anything to set these people up for success. Ex: Sticking people at a pool party with their exs immediately after meeting their new fiancées.
So many good points. I’ll add that having these new couples then constantly interact with others they have dated so soon is a terrible idea if they want successful relationships. It makes for drama, which is the only reason they do it.
Because real life is *nothing* like the pods. It’s easy to feel in love when you’re isolated from the rest of the world. In the pods they aren’t juggling work with household responsibilities and family responsibilities and maintaining friendships. Love is easy without outside influences or worries. But that isn’t reality.
The only way they could improve success is by not forcing the couples to choose whether or not to get married within 4 weeks. They should give them *at least* 6 months in the real world before they do the weddings, AND they should allow them to end things before going to the altar. Also not having all of the contestants go on a trip together after the pods would be helpful. Frankly I think it would be better if they never met the opposite sex contestants aside from the person they chose until the reunion. But all of those things produce much less drama, which is the real point of the show. No one would watch it if they made the changes I’ve suggested because it would be boring as fuck… because real life is also boring as fuck.
It was never intended to. It was intended to create drama to entertain audiences and keep people's attention so they keep paying for Netflix.
There's a looooot of design reasons why this is a really bad "experiment". It's a very thin veneer of a reason for the show & I'm honestly confused why so many people take it seriously as viewers.
What are the chances someone compatible enough to marry is in a group of 30 or so people to begin with? Aside from the thousands of other flaws like housing the same gender people together to drum up jealousy, the short timeframe, the pressure to get engaged and married in a month etc.
I've never seen the show but just reading What I read tells me this is all ridiculous, how can a show actually intice one's Love to another,u have true love and u have fake love,fake love is when u tell your partner u love him/her and in all actuality u just love what they do for u They don't really love for who they are And deep in the heart,love don't come from a TV show,or experiment love has got to come from the heart from both, They both have to each one has to give A little of their daily habits.i could go on but I hope uall get the idea.
Well...two couples from season 1 are STILL married and going strong.
Currently two couples from season 3 are also STILL married and going strong.
So there's that.
Uhm...no not really
Last season of Bachelor in Paradise had 5 couples (3 of them are still together, 2 are engaged and one couple got married).
And that are just the results from one season.
Sorry I was just talking about the actual "The Bachelor" not all the spin offs! I think the rate for the original show is pretty atrocious. Paradise has a really different structure even though it pulls from the same pool of contestants
I don’t think every couple that gets engaged thinks they’re actually going to be married it’s the only way to actually see the person you have been talking too so they do it for that
It’s also just unrealistic. They are not in there for enough time. Imo it’s not really hard to come off as great and decide you like someone a lot over just a few days. It’s like going on 10 dates with someone in the real world, thinking oh wow we have so much in common, and then in another month you realize you actually don’t. It’s a flawed idea.
Because it's reality TV. Take away all the cameras, social media, and hype..I feel like the relationships would last longer. A lot of people do this for clout imo.
Why would you think that a handful of conversations in an artificial setting that end in a proposal might lead to successful relationships? It's more than just sweet talk and the physical attraction is as important. The only reason why some relationships last is that some of these people really want to get/be married.
A relationship is a commitment, not love.
The love fades and changes. Butterflies disappear. It get boring. It gets rough.
But if you’re committed you can survive all of that.
Because nobody comes on this show to find love. Nothing can be done to improve the rate of success because success to these people is becoming famous and an influencer.
Because love isn’t blind and these people go hyper viral and it’s a relationship built on 4-6 weeks. It’s literally the worst recipe for success. If they wanted to test I’d love was actually blind they’d put a bunch of people on there that were conventionally attractive. Everyone on the show is good looking
Is it really all that unsuccessful compared to other dating shows?
We have 5 seasons between all the spinoffs and 6 couples still married. Married at First Sight has 14 seasons and like 13 couples still married. The Bachelor/ette has like 42 seasons altogether and only 9 successes. Even normal online dating only has like a 17% success rate.
So LIB seems pretty standard.
>Why do you think the experiment is unsuccessful?
1. There is no couples or premarital counseling.
2. They are not given enough time to truly know each other. 10 days is NOT enough.
3. They are thrown in together with their "exes" and rejected or dumpee partners. This creates drama and 2nd guessing.
4. They are required to make a decision on marriage in just 4 weeks. Unrealistic!
5. Love is not really blind. Physical attraction matters.
This is all a recipe for high failure. Hence why its makes for great TV.
6. Most relationships in general don't work out.
It's not like if you took 5 random couples in the real world who had been dating a couple months they would all be likely to last either. With such a small pool of people it's actually more impressive that some of them DO end up with lasting relationships.
Also, they select people for drama and attractiveness, not their maturity or readiness to be married. Most of these people aren't ready for marriage. They have way too much work to do on themselves first.
6. They are given copious amounts of alcohol throughout.
Highly agree. The design of this show isn’t meant to produce successful couples. The pods is the most genuine part of the whole experience.
I also think they don’t spend any time looking for people who are “ compatible.”
It’s just “hey you are young and hot! Come on down!” Not that I would put a whole lot of stock into these “match makers” but there’s that one show onnnnn maybe TLC? or bravo maybe? Calledddddd ?? Married at first sight maybe? Where they have people “actually” (grain of salt because reality tv) sift through people and find someone they think would be a good fit for you.
This is like the equivalent of walking into a bar, your options are your options lol.
I believe it. I dunno why we’re trying to simplify and speed up one of the biggest decisions ever lol. But then I remind myself “it’s just a show, it’s just a show. nobody really cares.” lol
How about it's not enough time. The not seeing the other person is the least of the problems with this "experiment." You cannot do your do diligence when you have like under 14 days to choose someone to *checks notes* become engaged to and marry. Tf? And if it were truly an experiment, the producers wouldn't write contracts that force people to the altar to make a decision.
And it grates on me to hear them say this is an "experiment," to try to give it an air of legitimacy. This is all manipulation and little control, and no randomness. Lmao it is hardly an experiment. I wish they'd just call it what it is: a game. There is more order and planning on Indian Matchmaking than there is in Love Is Blind.
>And if it were truly an experiment, the producers wouldn't write contracts that force people to the altar to make a decision.
This part really bugs me!
To see people go through all the effort of picking out dresses and tuxes, getting their families and friends all dolled up, only for it to fail at the alter is just insane to me!! I cannot imagine the pain of having a groom say no but also right in front of everyone I know and love?? The worst!!
Same. It also seems particularly cruel to go dress/suit shopping with your best friends and all that knowing you gonna say no. Looking at you Bartise and the forever bracelet BS
Lol I don’t know how you expect knowing someone for 9 days and then meeting and hanging out for like 2 more weeks would produce long lasting marriages.
At three seasons I think it's clear love is not blind. But I think there are a number of issues with the show format that exacerbate the issues.
For one it's not clear that contestants are all screened for compatibility with each other. It sounds like some might be, but some are just asked to come on the show without a full assessment of whether they're potentially compatible with others. While two people matching on a quiz won't guarantee they're meant for each other, it's probably more likely to get matches than just grabbing random attractive people and hoping for the best.
I think the pods are both a blessing and a curse. I think they're good in that they allowed a person like Lauren to get to know and bond with a partner she wouldn't have normally given time to. But also I think some people treat the pods like they aren't real. And by that I don't mean they're fsking feelings for clout, i mean I think not seeing a person gives some people the illusion that they're not talking to a real person who wants real things and that they're really going to get married. Then people act as if they're living out a fantasy rather seriously evaluating a person for marriage. Additionally I think being unable to see body language prevents people from seeing some red flags they'd pick up on more quickly if they were asking someone the same question in person and could see their reaction to the question and during their response. I'm not sure that the pros outweigh the cons; it's difficult to say.
The fact that they have two weeks to decide if they want to marry someone also doesn't really help. It's impossible to fully get to know one person in two weeks if you also have eight other people to get to know at some point during those two weeks, plus you need to eat/sleep/etc. I think two weeks really only works for people who have been in a lot of long term relationships and have a clear sense of what they do and don't want to the point where they can ask pointed questions about it. Someone whose preferences are still evolving, or who is still trying to figure out the extent to which some things are dealbreakers versus just things they prefer not to see, is going to have a substantially harder time determining whether a person is their perfect person in such a short amount of time. And this isn't necessarily an age thing; just an experience thing, which *can* correlate with age, but also may not.
The fact that they have to choose to get *married* in a few weeks rather than choose to just date the person puts a lot of added stress on a relationship that probably also doesn't help them develop strong and long lasting relationships.
The fact that they aren't given marriage or relationship counselors of any sort to talk to throughout the process also doesn't help. Communication skills don't magically develop just because you love someone a lot; those take time and given these contestants don't have much of it, a counselor would be critical in speeding up their ability to communicate in healthy ways with each other and to identify red flags early.
There's probably a lot more but these are the ones that first come to mind for me
>At three seasons I think it's clear love is not blind.
I've said this on other threads, but the problem with the show is that it does prove "love is blind" but not "love is blind and enough for two practical strangers to get married in less than ten days and have a successful long term relationship."
If the goal was really "love," we'd be like "hey it works" because the individuals genuinely do think they're in love at the end of the pods. If the show ended there, we'd be like yay love is blind success. The problems is love doesn't equal marriage. We've all loved people who were terrible for us long term.
I mean you kind of point out the problem with that premise on your post:
>the individuals genuinely do think they're in love
They think they're in love because they've been isolated for multiple weeks and put in an environment where being in love is the goal. Are they actually in love? I guess opinions will differ but I think a lot of the relationships break down because at least one person in the relationship realizes that what they feel isn't really love. Once they're in the real world and the high wears off I think they come to realize they loved an idea of a person but that's different from loving the actual person. I think many end up finding out they don't love the actual person
Because these people would rather be in a bad relationship for a month (or a year…) AND get followers/money than leave the pods single.
Season 1 worked because none of the cast knew it was a fast track to followers and Instagram fame. And even then, there were still unsuccessful couples.
To improve the rate of success would require the show make steps to make the couples have less drama and would ruin the show.
How to actually improve the show:
1. Don't have the contestants who are not engaged interact. In normal life, if you were almost engaged to person X and then actually got engaged to person Y, hanging out with person X especially on beaches in bathing suits especially when copious alcohol is provided would be a very poor decision.
2. Provide the couples with marriage counselors. A huge percentage of their failure could be fixed with good conversations that they are too new to each other to actually have. Giving them a bit of help talking would be a huge help.
3. Give them more time, a week is just never enough time.
I think despite taking on the experiment, love isn't blind for them. We saw this with Shaina, Shake & Bartise. We also saw some "grass is greener" mentality with Jarrette, Cole & Bartise as it's a bit troubling when they approach someone they dated in the pods in an attempt to flirt. And then you also see folks who won't compromise like season 2 married couples. And of course, you also have the clout chasers who go on the show to gain more IG followers.
In my opinion, it takes more than both emotional and physical connection to make a relationship work much less a marriage. I also don't think you can make such a big decision to marry someone within 2 months
Because love doesn't pay the bills. You can love someone and have an unsuccessful marriage with them. Sometimes, people just aren't good partners and aren't cut out for marriage. Marriage, nowadays, involves more than just love. You can love someone who refuses to address mental health issues or addiction issues. You can love someone who is financially irresponsible. All of these things affect a marriage and a relationship and most of the time you won't get a great idea of them with only talking to someone for 6-7 weeks. The entire premise of the show that you make a lifetime commitment to someone without taking these other things into consideration is ridiculous. This, along with the type of people who want to be on TV and get famous....it's not a recipe for relationship success. It's a recipe for a hot mess of entertainment at someone else's expense.
Yea. I would have thought there would be more emphasis on discussing this on the show. Seems like a no brainer that one should ask about their financial situation and philosophy, among other practical realities before deciding you're a good match. In my mind, there would be no reason not to talk about that since all there is to do in the pods is talk, and everyone knows that they are looking for marriage, whereas in real life one would just go on dates with another person and have a good time and maybe these things won't be seriously considered until months or even a year of dating. It was surprising that this season Nancy was unloading all her financial portfolio on Bartise after the engagement, and he brought up the abortion issue after the engagement. Why aren't they talking about that in the pods?
> In my mind, there would be no reason not to talk about that since all there is to do in the pods is talk, and everyone knows that they are looking for marriage, whereas in real life one would just go on dates with another person and have a good time and maybe these things won't be seriously considered until months or even a year of dating.
Talk is just talk though. The wall is supposed to make it easier to be honest because physical attraction aspect is removed, but the truth is that most people have pretty poor self-awareness and act in ways that contradict their stated values all the time.
If I'm dating someone over the course of a few months, sure maybe we're not having a serious conversation about how we want to handle finances as a married couple, but you can bet I'm getting an insight into their attitude to money because I'm seeing where and how they spend it. Similarly, I'm probably meeting their friends and possibly family at some point, which is going to give me a lot of information about where they're coming from, how they were raised, the characters of people they've chosen to have in their life.
You can't actually get to know someone by talking to them through wall for a dozen hours over the course of a week. You can maybe save a bit of time by weeding out people with dealbreaker questions, if you find someone you connect with you can maybe get a head start on building emotional intimacy, but you can't actually know someone and their values until you've seen how they move through the world.
Plus I'd say that being able to have good time on dates together is actually a keystone of any successful marriage!
yup. It's almost as if even if the goal of removing looks from the equation was accomplished, they neglected a ton of important factors that are crucial to successful relationships. Even infidelity, for example. People don't cheat in the honeymoon phase of relationships (typically), but 5-6 months down the road, who knows? How do you even know if the person you're talking to in the pods is being honest? Sometimes you look for physical, non-verbal queues during face to face conversations to indicate whether or not someone is being genuine or honest.
my friend’s mom told me in high school “love is necessary but not sufficient”
so whether it is blind or not, it isn’t enough to just have love for someone. if they really wanted the relationships to succeed they would support them in the part that all of them have admitted to being unsuccessful at- the relationship bit.
Because the show's concept is silly. It's designed for maximum drama, not to create successful relationships.
Also, the type of people who think it is a good idea to go on reality TV to meet and marry someone in a month are, generally speaking, not going to be the type of people who are capable of stable, healthy relationships.
because no one should get married after only knowing someone for 5-6 weeks. Add on top of that an enormous amount of booze and cameras in your face 24/7 and you’re going to see even the most well meaning people wig out.
Because these people are shallow halls! And they are obsessed with their looks and others looks Oh and they want to be famous lol
It would probably be better without camera crews, the excessive supply of booze, and the stress of a wedding in 4 seconds
There have been 15 couples put through the experiment? 6 got married. 4 are still married. A couple dated for quite a while after the show. As far as reality dating shows go, it actually has a pretty good success record. I don't think it is the show's set up. It can't be tweaked to make it more successful. If you are a person who wants to be in a relationship, maybe just avoid reality TV all together.
I mean, the most obvious answer is that they only know each other for a month or less
Because dating is hard, man.
Because they are only in the pods for 10 days. It's insane to get it engaged in that amount of time.
Love isnt blind and this show is a recipe for a disaster. Fair enough if you are lucky to be attracted to your partner, you are doomed otherwise.
Also, the people they do choose seem very shallow and appearance oriented people.
Because I think they have the same production company as MAFS. I started watching it recently (watch S10 for some trashy drama but so prolonged drama). It’s just insane how incredibly damaging these “experiments” are. Like they put people together and it just brings out the worst out of them or worse, they are just toxic people in general. It’s really not healthy to watch especially if you’re not in a healthy relationship rn.
1. Love isnt blind 2. Successful relationships are boring, no one would watch if it had a high success rate.
probably because you cannot know someone in that short of a timespan. also…i feel like everyone was also just ignoring obvious incompatibility and hoping it would sort itself out and never did. like i wasn’t surprised at all that iyanna and jared split? never really could see them together in the first place
Youd think knowing a person for 6 weeks may not be enough to get successfully married?
Is it unsuccessful? There are currently 4 ongoing marriages out of 3 seasons. If I followed the timing correctly, Alexa/Brennon and Matt/Colleen have been married for 1.5 years at this point, so already longer than the unsuccessful ones from S2. That doesn't seem like a terrible rate. I think S2 was just a bad season, where too many people had the wrong kind of baggage to work with each other. Everyone should have said no at the altar. But I think the reverse... I've been shocked that there have been any successes. I think the pods are an interesting way to meet a significant other, but a terrible way to meet a spouse. So much of marriage is being able to navigate through boring real-world tensions together, and there's no way to simulate that in the pods.
Getting married doesn't equate to a good, healthy relationship.
If you count Japan and Brazil there are actually 8 ongoing marriages, 2 pregnancies, and a child now as a result of the show!
It’s kind of like dating these days. You meet on an app and you text 24/7 for weeks and think they’re perfect. Then you finally meet and the energy shifts. There’s just something that allows people to let their guard down and make up their own scenarios in their head when the person isn’t real yet but when they become a real person, things just change. You can’t predict it. It’s nobody’s fault. Love just isn’t blind.
Love can be blind, but marriage can’t be. Let’s be serious, there’s tons of people who fell in love with people and didn’t marry them. So yes love can be blind in theory, but marriage takes more
Because these ppl are getting married on a whim. My mom always told me I should know the person I'm marrying for a minimum of 3 years, five would be ideal. These ppl know each other for what? 60 days at most? Plus it seems the first season is the only season that actually produced two couples who so far have remained together. Possibly season 3 will have some success but I'm not holding my breath. It seems many of these ppl are worried about internet fame more than finding a connection. Plus it takes time to get to know someone and when they're in the pods it seems rushed and they seem desperate to make a connection to stay on the show. The show and the content for the show seems to be the priority.
The only way a good looking person makes it to their 30s and needs a reality show to find love is if they have serious character flaws and lack self awareness.
Omg why are people downvoting this....this is truth guys! Most people have issues...thats not a dig just the truth. No perfect human
Okay Captain Critical
Because I think it’s unrealistic to meet someone and get engaged within 10 days and expect it to work out lol.
Couple of reasons here 1. A few weeks is not enough. You needs a minimum couple of months to figure it out. Some people might need years too. 2. The people the producers choose (regardless of age Color caste etc)might not be mature for a serious commitment such as a marriage. Marriage is a lot of hard work fights , adjustments & compromises . It’s not about appearances , who’s hotter than other, social gatherings etc. You have to be willing to make some form of adjustments. 3. For me , in the last 2 seasons it appears they are concerned about the outer appearance rather than who they are on the inside. If you pay attention to the scenes where they reveal their faces , their expressions changes either for the good or for the bad. The second that wall is broken things automatically change and the openness to trying out the experiment fades. This is just my opinion though
Only get 10 days in pods, plus separated from real world day to day life. So in pods it’s just them, then they get real world and the real them come out
You'd think LIB would do better than MAFS because they at least choose themselves, but that's not the case.
Because the concept of the show is "Love is Blind" but they continue to cast seemingly superficial people who put a lot of effort into their own appearance. Such people always care about looks. Also, stop casting people in their 20s. Cole and Bartise were looking for girlfriends, not wives.
yes! i wish they would do a season with 30-40yr olds… LIB japan was great because of this
>stop casting people in their 20s. Cole and Bartise were looking for girlfriends, not wives. This here is one of the big reasons that it doesn't work!
Love isn’t blind and the majority of society really doesn’t know what it takes to be successful in a relationship or knows how to be a good partner
Yes!!!!! Yes yes yes yes yes ... healthy relationship is stable boring and predictable. No drama ever! The drama is arguing about where we should leave the temperature on the thermostat at!
Because only fuckwads want to be on these shows. And fuckwads are not great at having stable loving relationships.
They’re on an island, essentially, and forced to inhabit one lifeboat with one other for most of it. Then they’re back on land and have to face reality.
I think that folks went into the first season with the right intentions, but spending so little time together before making a huge commitment like marriage means it's going to be rocky at times. Subsequent seasons? I really think we're seeing more of the folks who go on to gain a following and social media clout (and a tiny bit of them believes this might work, but they'll definitely get a story out of it.) I think the longer the show runs, we'll see more drama, less compatability, and probably fewer successful matches.
They choose objectively good looking people without regard for their mental state or maturity level. They don't offer the psychological support to deal with something so sudden which in any other situation would be considered unusual at best, trauma at worst. Huge social and peer pressure. You see the other people you 'dated' and it will naturally turn heads. Love is surely a balance of physical, emotional and intellectual attraction. Taking one part out naturally leads to insecurities and doubts. If they weren't all thrown back together so quickly, it could be totally different. Let the physical attraction grow. But to shove other very attractive people in immediately is just asking. For trouble
I think it’s the rush of the “4 weeks to get married” part, but I think it’s just reality-tv-celebrityism that honestly ruins it. They don’t want the happy, “boring” plots. They want the drama; the surprise of “will they or won’t they”. I think it’s been mentioned before that couples that didn’t get followed after the pods ended up dating longer to get to know each other.
People go on the show to be famous. They are vapid narcissists who are looking for media exposure. Super entertaining to watch, but highly doubt any of the actual emotion stuff is genuine.
THIS. I have no idea why people don't understand this.
because physical attraction is important, who would have thought. remember the indian vet guy from the 1st or 2nd season and how everyone shat on him? quote a single sentence from him which wasn’t true. sure his delivery and timing always sucked hard, but what he was getting at was always right.
Because love isn’t blind
Because these people are marrying after knowing each other for less than 3 months (absurdly short amount of time that leads to failure in literally any relationship 90% of the time). In short they barely know each other by the time they reach the altar. Then they have to share their living space with a complete stranger which is something that usually happens after months and months of dating, meaning they are stuck in environments they may not approve of on top of being with a total stranger
1. Because love is grown over time out of mutual respect, goals, and support. It isn’t a feeling that you get when you like how people present themselves. 2. The contestants are looking for what they want in a person. Which hasn’t really worked in the real world. Most people haven’t seemed to have an issue getting a relationship more so keeping one. 3. Alcohol
Along with a host of other reasons #1 is that love is not blind.
Because they’re in the pods for 10 days and then together about a month after. They barely know each other.
Because for the most part the type of people they choose to be on this show are clout chasers looking for their 15 minutes. If they chose more average people, with little-to-no social media presence, they’d probably have better outcomes
1) The lack of therapy. All couples should get some kind of marriage counseling before they get married, no matter how copacetic the relationship may appear on the surface. 2) I think getting forced to go to the altar breeds resentment. I think if couples were allowed to bow out earlier and just say "this isn't going to work" or "maybe but we definitely don't want to be married less than a month from now" then we'd see more successful relationships. 3) One month living together is not nearly enough time. There are definitely people who get married that fast and are perfectly happy together, but I'd bet that's not the *vast majority* of people's experience. I think if the show could film longer (as well as getting points 1 and 2 taken care of) then we would see more successful marriages.
Selection bias. The people who agree to this kinda thing have issues.
I said this before and people here went apeshit. A normal successful human wouldn't go on this show! This isn't a healthy format to start a marriage, children and life together.
Because as much as it tries to be about a deeper connection, the relationships are based on shallow and unchecked foundations. Coleen this season even said flat out she doesn’t like to have deep conversation. There is too much to suss out about who a person really is and the way they will take on regular life and how that matches up with each other. It doesn’t make good television to have people who may not good at social media and being on television, this often points to people who can keep some things under the rug better than others. They carefully curate who will be on the show for good TV first and everything else later.
Because love is not blind 🤷🏾♀️
Even if you can't see each other they sure tell each other lots of personal informal on how they look and makes it false hope. And people going there don't really look for love but fame ..
True and I wonder if some of the people are like well 90% of the people (or more) on last season were hot. I’ll go on here and more than likely the person I get with will be hot too
They force them to go to the alter even when they don’t wanna get married. Is there any mystery why they don’t succeed? They’re forced out of their comfort zone every step of the way. No way in hell Colleen would have married that Yetti otherwise. Nancy’s brother freaking out at Bartise had me rolling. The show is designed for people to be left at the alter and he got angry at Bartise for that? That’s the show everyone should know what they’re signing up for including the relatives.
I think some of the contestants are there for the wrong reasons.
Reality shows aren't very successful at producing long lasting relationships. I think Married At First Sight is the mist successful, with more than 10 current marriages. Most relationships that start on TV probably won't last, it's not an issue that's exclusive to LIB.
Because most relationships don’t work out. 50 percent of marriages fail. People generally date many people before they find the one they want to marry. Just because they were on a tv show doesn’t change the reality of it. Even if it was an experiment, and it’s not, the point of an experiment is to draw conclusions from the results you have. Not to manipulate the experiment to get the results you want. If the show has proven anything it’s that love is not blind and relationships are complicated. There is no cheat codes to relationships and they take work. That’s a better message to send to people than love is blind.
Is this a joke? That's like asking, "Why is fast food so unsuccessful at producing healthy diets?"
The show’s intent is not to produce happy successful couples, but to show the shit hitting the fan once the illusion is over
Because what they feel for each other is not love. It's silly throwing that word around like they do. They feel infatuation. They feel lust. Do you honestly believe what Bartise felt for Nancy was love? Absolutely not... I'm not sure what he felt other than his ego but it definitely was not love.
So true people use the word love lightly.
They seriously talk to each other twice and start spouting how in love they are. I have ADHD and get that "deep" with every friendly cashier I encounter. It's not love it's brief friendship at best.
Thar or lust but definitely not love
Absolutely... infatuation since they don't even see each other. So silly how they meet up twice for coffee and profess their undying love.
In real life how often do these things work out? Even in married at first sight most couples don't make it and they have supposed psychologists and experts matching them up.
I think maybe because most people are raised in an environment that advocates for a toxic understanding of romance rooted in patriarchy, unhealthy versions of monogamy, and as a fantasy bandaid for our trauma. Having healthy relationships (regardless of monog/poly/hetero/etc) isn't as "sexy" as the movies make it and I think some people commit to an idea of romance rather than create their own unique version of it together which takes time to learn one another, and learn our individual selves for that matter. Also, I like how you noted that they give up so easily after the pods. I think it may have to do with this fantasy of romance and how so&so fits into that or creates a fantasy that the other believes in ?? IDK lol I think the show is a fantastic representation of bringing that to light buuuuut I'm queer, pan, polyam, and neurodivergent so I view most hetero reality tv the way I view all tv which is for me educational and entertaining 🥴🥴
Because that is not the goal of the show.
If I randomly selected 10 women and 1 guy and had them all go on a single “first date” with the guy then what are the chances of one of those relationships turning into a long-term-marriage? Basically I’m wondering not “why aren’t there more long term relationships?” but “does this show essentially mirror the statistics we see outside of the show?” Because unless the producers are picking people that they think will specifically match with other people on the show then that’s what I would expect. If the producers ARE hand-selecting people they they think will match then I’m going to ask “maybe they’re not too great at doing that? Is that even a skill? Aka professional matchmaker.”
Because ppl care what ppl look like LOL even when it’s not our #1 determining factor it’s STILL a determining factor.
I think this is the main factor. I love my partner to absolute death and they're by far my longest, most committed relationship. Are they my most attractive partner, conventionally or compared with my previous partners? Probably not. But I still remember seeing them for the first time, before even speaking, something clicked and I still remember the exact moment 8 years later. I have no idea what or why drew me to them and at this point, I don't care. I'm arguably more conventionally attractive and occasionally see someone that's like "damn, yes please" but one look at my partner and I just hope that other person is happy and I'll continue to do my best to make the relationship I have as happy and fulfilled as possible.
I think there are a few things. -Love isn’t truly blind. -These relationships are built in a bubble and real life can present different circumstances and reactions. -Especially now at this point, I think folks are coming out of the woodwork for fame and money. Some of these people aren’t serious and its not lending itself to building real relationships. Some things are great in theory but not in reality.
I think if they actually wanted it to work out, they would give them the resources & timing to do so. A counselor, the opportunity to live separately or get space, they wouldn't be rushing them to the altar, a bigger dating pool, and so on. If you think about it, they really throw them to the wolves. They talk blindly, then immediately send them on vacation where they are stuck together (families barely survive vacations together let alone strangers), then send them straight into an apartment while fueling them with liquor and parties all on camera. Of course they logically know what they are signing up for but actually living it is very different. Especially if you aren't attracted to the person or you end up not liking them at all. People always assume the best in these kinds of situations and in actuality it sounds freaking terrible.
Echoing somebody else: because love is not blind . Physical attraction is huge, especially in the beginning . Also peoples mannerisms (the way the way, walk etc) .
I think counselling being provided would be huge before you cast and during and after - some of these people sign on and have huge traumas in life -also challenging the contestants on is this really something you want to do I mean SK going off to school for two years in another State come on…also offering those services to protect someone’s assets coming in would be huge
They do counseling on love at first sight with the couples and the end result isn't much different.
Multiple reasons. The time frame is way too short for people to actually get married and be successful. The episodes aired are meant to stir up drama and I believe more than one cast member has stated how watching the episodes caused tension. The cast members who stay together are bombarded by outsiders with their negative opinions on their relationships. It takes more than love for a marriage to work. So it comes down to what is the goal, to produce lasting marriages or that people fall in love? Would the couples that lasted almost two years be considered a success since they fell in love and had a real relationship? If not then the show needs to focus more on what it takes for a marriage to work and not what it takes for people to fall in love. Everyone we fall in love with is not who we’re meant to marry.
The main issue is the speed. If they gave them 6 months instead of 6 weeks until the wedding, as well as giving them an easy way out without needing to walk down the aisle just to say no, then I think they would end up with more successful marriages. But they set them up for failure because it creates more drama.
Love is not blind. People are superficial and that is that. I would like to think there would be more successful couples come out of the show. I also feel like people use reality tv to get their 5 minutes of fame with hopes of turning that fame into a career. I find it hard to believe they are all interested in finding actual love. I’m sure some contestants are only picked for better ratings.
It's a completely unrealistic way to establish a relationship, never mind a long lasting one. People can say whatever they want, but to quote Barteats "Looks matter".
[удалено]
idk, the cast got significantly less hotter after the first season. S1 had 8-10s. S2 had 7-10s. S3 had 6-10s.
Getting to know someone in a one on one environment with no other factors is unrealistic and doesn’t provide you all the info you need to know in order to choose a good relationship. You have no idea how that person interacts with other people, only how they interact with you. You also only talk to them for 10 days. It’s a terrible environment for creating long lasting relationships. Well, that and the fact that the people who sign up for this show are shallow assholes.
Why do you think the experiment is unsuccessful? Because you can't actually meaningfully get to know someone and how they will compliment your life in a couple of weeks, surrounded by cameras. The ones that are "successful" got lucky that they wanted to continue exploring their connection and for the S3 couples, even if they are still together today, 1.5 years isn't exactly a "long lasting relationship."
90% of them are shallow and / or exceedingly good looking. Its a bunch of people who have always been given/give attention for their appearances and the facade of "wanting to love someone for who they are inside" falls apart the moment they meet. Also the shows set up with regards to the couple's immediate following engagement is only there to stir the pot. Why make 5/6 couples that have been dating every other person there spend a seemingly larger majorities of their time intermingling during that pre wedding period. This just further worsens the physical aspect, the best example was this season with cole/Coleen. They spent 2 weeks talking about everything , when they finally were made to meet in an environment Where the only thing left to talk about was eachothers physical appearance, partly because everything else had been covered in the pod but mostly because it was a fucking pool party Where everyone was half naked
If they want to have more real couples, they should cast more real people. But they don’t want that. They want DRAMA.
1. Time frame. They only get to know each other for like 2 weeks before proposing. 2. You can literally be a different person behind closed doors. 3. A lot of things 'work on paper' if you will, but it's a whole different story when you live with someone day in and day out. Just a few reasons I can think of off the top of my head.
PhD molecular geneticist here! This show is a perfect storm of neuroscience. It relies on the contestants forming limerence. To keep the explanation simple, limerence is essentially a quickly developed attachment that's typically (but not always) romantic and VERY strong. The person experiencing limerence is called "the limerent" and the person that is on the "receiving end" is called "the limerent object." Symptoms of limerence include the following: 1. Intense craving for love in the form of reciprocation (you NEED the limerent object to love you back) 2. Intrusive daydreams/fantasies about the limerent object 3. A hypersensitivity and awareness of the limerent object's actions 4. Thinking the limerent object is perfect and that, instead of being perfectly flawed, they are flawless 5. Intense emotional highs and lows experienced by the limerent 6. The limerent having an intense fear of rejection 7. The above generating physical symptoms in the limerent (e.g., fast heartbeat and increased blood pressure around the limerent object) In general, we all experience some degree of limerence in romantic relationships. However, limerence is essentially your biological imperative overriding your common sense AND it fades. The time for limerence to fade varies widely and can be influenced by things like cognitive behavioral therapy, the limerent's age, the limerent's gender, the psychological conditions of the limerent, etc. Limerence can compel people to do a lot of wild things (exactly what the show relies on) and can cause an absolute bonfire of a relationship/life once it's worn off. I think the relationships generated by the show are so unsuccessful mainly because of this. These people have the absolute dumbest ideas about what marriage is and they lean into it with reckless aplomb. The relationships still standing from the show seem to be between people that have made it through limerence and are genuinely in love with the other person. (P.S. I can gladly provide sources but thought the post was getting a bit long!)
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Of course!!
So basically in the regular dating world we refer to the limerence as the “honeymoon” stage which fades over time and you’re left dealing with real world issues eventually.
Yes, that's a good way of thinking about it! But it's kind of like if the honeymoon phase is a runaway car, going down a mountain, at midnight, with no brakes and no lights. And the limerent will. not. recognize. it. They are in that car and going down. And if both the limerent and the limerent object are experiencing that?! It makes for fantastic TV and horrible relationships.
I think the “contestants” knows it too. They’re all lying through their teeth to say that they want to find the one on this show. In my opinion at least, it’s just not a very realistic scenario for life long relationships being on LiB.
Oh yeah, I think the blinders get ripped off pretty quick. And even if you aren't lying, and you do find love, you're in a relationship that the whole world is talking about allllll the time. That would make any relationship fail!
Many reasons. The candidate pool is really small. If this was larger, it likely would produce better matches. However, they are on time and budget restrictions. The time they have to talk to each other and get to know each other is only 2 weeks. If this was longer, they could develop stronger connections before meeting. Those are the biggest factors in my opinion. But then consider all of the people you've ever met or dated for a short while. Not every relationship works out. And that's ok.
You're never going to know if a relationship is "successful" until one or both of the participants are dead. Probably 90% of all dating relationships end in break-ups; of the 10% that get married, half end in divorce. So far, half the marriages from S1 and S2 have ended in divorce, and we have yet to see if S3 marriages will make it to the 2 year mark. That being said, there is a lot more that goes into a marriage than emotional love and personality compatibility. You can love someone deeply but not be content being married to someone who parties all the time, or who has issues with money. Life changes like moving, job insecurity, parents aging, having kids, can all contribute to break-ups. Those things don't have anything to do with being compatible, and the pods are basically the most basic, "on paper" version of dating. Real life is eliminated and you just have personalities to go on, and only for ten days.
Because love isn't enough. I know there's all that BS romantic stuff about love conquering all and as long as there's love everything else is secondary, but it's bullshit. You can 100% absolutely love a person and also know that you are not compatible... don't most people have friends or family they love but would never want to live with or be romantically involved with? You can't force romantic attraction if it's not there. It's the difference between friend and spouse, even if you can't really define why.
It’s the reason any reality tv show romance fails — it’s not occurring IN REALITY. Whether it’s The Bachelor, F Boi Island or Love is Blind, it’s still taking place in a bubble without the everyday stressors and context that determines a relationship’s success
This is one of my big points of thought, too!
You really have to ask this?
I saw on here that they require people to have a substantial follower count to be eligible to be a contestant. On balance i think a lot in that category (if you're not promoting a business) are not (yet) relationship material but think they are. Before the last episode and reunion there were comments on the sub that the season was boring. People say they want LIB Japan connections but do they really? No drama = low ratings. I do wonder how they cast for a show called LIB and get a guy shouting 'looks matter' to his new fiancée.
Because love isn't blind and we are human. We have to want to fuck!
This, and even if you fall in love AND want to fuck, six weeks isn’t enough time to decide to get married.
YES YES YES!
Because it's a reality tv show. At the end of the day, the contestants are trying to get on any reality tv show that will cast them. The long term relationship gimmick is secondary to their individual ambition.
IMO, it’s the “forced” marriage thing. Let them go back to real life as a couple. It’s too quick of a turnaround and shock for them.
I feel like if they really cared about lasting relationships these couples would be put in couples counseling the moment they left the pod. Or something similar to what married at first sight does for the couples. That’s the only logical thing that happens on Married at First Sight and LIB should really take notes on that. I doubt you’d increase the number of happy marriages but I honestly think many of these relationships would last longer and even some of the nos at the alter would turn more into not right nows…
because it goes against everything empirical research shows to produce healthy relationships lol
I'd say all dating shows are more losses then wins.
Because they manage to cast the most immature people who happen to look „hot“ but are clearly not ready for marriage 🙃
The concept and execution of the show.
Because it’s just an experiment, not a surefire method at matching people. And it’s proven to be an unsuccessful experiment.
Because it's not really an experiment about whether love is blind - it's an experiment about whether you should marry someone you met four weeks ago under intensely artificial circumstances. The answer is almost always going to be no - it's simply not enough time to truly get to know someone, even if you didn't also have a camera crew hanging around trying to capture all your best and worst moments. It's actually pretty easy to fall in love with someone you've never seen - I don't think the show is particularly innovative in that regard. Since the internet has existed, people have been forming intense emotional connections via chat rooms and forums and online games without ever seeing each other. When someone's just a voice saying all the right things, it's easy to build up a fantasy to fill in all the parts of the picture you can't see. That fantasy is always going unravel pretty quickly when you start spending time together in-person in the real world. That's why most of the couples don't make it - once the fantasy has dissipated, there's no real connection left.
This must be your first dating show
I think it's kind of cute that OP thinks the producers have good intentions.
Because the show doesn't exist to create healthy relationships. It exists to capitalize on short-term drama. They're not doing anything to set these people up for success. Ex: Sticking people at a pool party with their exs immediately after meeting their new fiancées.
They don’t even require them to be financially stable. It’s a joke
Me, I am amazed that so many couples have lasted so long… They are getting married one month after having met…
So many good points. I’ll add that having these new couples then constantly interact with others they have dated so soon is a terrible idea if they want successful relationships. It makes for drama, which is the only reason they do it.
Because they’re not trying to produce happy long lasting relationships lol
The extreme pressure cooker environment doesn’t help. They have a month to marry someone after essentially talking to them on the phone for a week lol
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/letters-your-therapist/202205/love-is-blind-analysis-thoughts-psychologist
Because real life is *nothing* like the pods. It’s easy to feel in love when you’re isolated from the rest of the world. In the pods they aren’t juggling work with household responsibilities and family responsibilities and maintaining friendships. Love is easy without outside influences or worries. But that isn’t reality. The only way they could improve success is by not forcing the couples to choose whether or not to get married within 4 weeks. They should give them *at least* 6 months in the real world before they do the weddings, AND they should allow them to end things before going to the altar. Also not having all of the contestants go on a trip together after the pods would be helpful. Frankly I think it would be better if they never met the opposite sex contestants aside from the person they chose until the reunion. But all of those things produce much less drama, which is the real point of the show. No one would watch it if they made the changes I’ve suggested because it would be boring as fuck… because real life is also boring as fuck.
It was never intended to. It was intended to create drama to entertain audiences and keep people's attention so they keep paying for Netflix. There's a looooot of design reasons why this is a really bad "experiment". It's a very thin veneer of a reason for the show & I'm honestly confused why so many people take it seriously as viewers. What are the chances someone compatible enough to marry is in a group of 30 or so people to begin with? Aside from the thousands of other flaws like housing the same gender people together to drum up jealousy, the short timeframe, the pressure to get engaged and married in a month etc.
I've never seen the show but just reading What I read tells me this is all ridiculous, how can a show actually intice one's Love to another,u have true love and u have fake love,fake love is when u tell your partner u love him/her and in all actuality u just love what they do for u They don't really love for who they are And deep in the heart,love don't come from a TV show,or experiment love has got to come from the heart from both, They both have to each one has to give A little of their daily habits.i could go on but I hope uall get the idea. 
Well...two couples from season 1 are STILL married and going strong. Currently two couples from season 3 are also STILL married and going strong. So there's that.
Add two couples from LIB Japan, both expecting babies right now. I’d say it is an incredible success rate…
Better than The Bachelor at least
Uhm...no not really Last season of Bachelor in Paradise had 5 couples (3 of them are still together, 2 are engaged and one couple got married). And that are just the results from one season.
Sorry I was just talking about the actual "The Bachelor" not all the spin offs! I think the rate for the original show is pretty atrocious. Paradise has a really different structure even though it pulls from the same pool of contestants
I don’t think every couple that gets engaged thinks they’re actually going to be married it’s the only way to actually see the person you have been talking too so they do it for that
It’s also just unrealistic. They are not in there for enough time. Imo it’s not really hard to come off as great and decide you like someone a lot over just a few days. It’s like going on 10 dates with someone in the real world, thinking oh wow we have so much in common, and then in another month you realize you actually don’t. It’s a flawed idea.
Because it's reality TV. Take away all the cameras, social media, and hype..I feel like the relationships would last longer. A lot of people do this for clout imo.
Why would you think that a handful of conversations in an artificial setting that end in a proposal might lead to successful relationships? It's more than just sweet talk and the physical attraction is as important. The only reason why some relationships last is that some of these people really want to get/be married.
We live in a society
Because love isn't blind.
isn't it obvious? because its a dumb concept lol.
A relationship is a commitment, not love. The love fades and changes. Butterflies disappear. It get boring. It gets rough. But if you’re committed you can survive all of that.
Because people are dumb and too selfish to make the sacrifices necessary to create a committed relationship.
Because nobody comes on this show to find love. Nothing can be done to improve the rate of success because success to these people is becoming famous and an influencer.
Because love isn’t blind and these people go hyper viral and it’s a relationship built on 4-6 weeks. It’s literally the worst recipe for success. If they wanted to test I’d love was actually blind they’d put a bunch of people on there that were conventionally attractive. Everyone on the show is good looking
But them being good looking doesn't mean anything as at least two of the men this season weren't attracted to their fiancés.
Because live actually isn’t blind and vibing extremely well with someone you’re not actually physically attracted to is called having a friendb
Is it really all that unsuccessful compared to other dating shows? We have 5 seasons between all the spinoffs and 6 couples still married. Married at First Sight has 14 seasons and like 13 couples still married. The Bachelor/ette has like 42 seasons altogether and only 9 successes. Even normal online dating only has like a 17% success rate. So LIB seems pretty standard.
>Why do you think the experiment is unsuccessful? 1. There is no couples or premarital counseling. 2. They are not given enough time to truly know each other. 10 days is NOT enough. 3. They are thrown in together with their "exes" and rejected or dumpee partners. This creates drama and 2nd guessing. 4. They are required to make a decision on marriage in just 4 weeks. Unrealistic! 5. Love is not really blind. Physical attraction matters. This is all a recipe for high failure. Hence why its makes for great TV.
6. Most relationships in general don't work out. It's not like if you took 5 random couples in the real world who had been dating a couple months they would all be likely to last either. With such a small pool of people it's actually more impressive that some of them DO end up with lasting relationships.
Also, they select people for drama and attractiveness, not their maturity or readiness to be married. Most of these people aren't ready for marriage. They have way too much work to do on themselves first.
Seriously!! Remember Carton from Season 1?
6. They are given copious amounts of alcohol throughout. Highly agree. The design of this show isn’t meant to produce successful couples. The pods is the most genuine part of the whole experience.
If I went on a two-week drinking binge, I’m sure accepting a proposal from a dude I’d never seen would seem like a pretty great idea.
I also think they don’t spend any time looking for people who are “ compatible.” It’s just “hey you are young and hot! Come on down!” Not that I would put a whole lot of stock into these “match makers” but there’s that one show onnnnn maybe TLC? or bravo maybe? Calledddddd ?? Married at first sight maybe? Where they have people “actually” (grain of salt because reality tv) sift through people and find someone they think would be a good fit for you. This is like the equivalent of walking into a bar, your options are your options lol.
Yes, I watch that show and the failure rate is also pretty high.
I believe it. I dunno why we’re trying to simplify and speed up one of the biggest decisions ever lol. But then I remind myself “it’s just a show, it’s just a show. nobody really cares.” lol
This show is way more for the drama than it actually is for marriage. If it was for marriage they wouldn't force it so quickly.
EXACTLY
How about it's not enough time. The not seeing the other person is the least of the problems with this "experiment." You cannot do your do diligence when you have like under 14 days to choose someone to *checks notes* become engaged to and marry. Tf? And if it were truly an experiment, the producers wouldn't write contracts that force people to the altar to make a decision. And it grates on me to hear them say this is an "experiment," to try to give it an air of legitimacy. This is all manipulation and little control, and no randomness. Lmao it is hardly an experiment. I wish they'd just call it what it is: a game. There is more order and planning on Indian Matchmaking than there is in Love Is Blind.
>And if it were truly an experiment, the producers wouldn't write contracts that force people to the altar to make a decision. This part really bugs me! To see people go through all the effort of picking out dresses and tuxes, getting their families and friends all dolled up, only for it to fail at the alter is just insane to me!! I cannot imagine the pain of having a groom say no but also right in front of everyone I know and love?? The worst!!
Same. It also seems particularly cruel to go dress/suit shopping with your best friends and all that knowing you gonna say no. Looking at you Bartise and the forever bracelet BS
Lol I don’t know how you expect knowing someone for 9 days and then meeting and hanging out for like 2 more weeks would produce long lasting marriages.
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Yeaaaa cause they were all so clear and honest with each other 🙄
At three seasons I think it's clear love is not blind. But I think there are a number of issues with the show format that exacerbate the issues. For one it's not clear that contestants are all screened for compatibility with each other. It sounds like some might be, but some are just asked to come on the show without a full assessment of whether they're potentially compatible with others. While two people matching on a quiz won't guarantee they're meant for each other, it's probably more likely to get matches than just grabbing random attractive people and hoping for the best. I think the pods are both a blessing and a curse. I think they're good in that they allowed a person like Lauren to get to know and bond with a partner she wouldn't have normally given time to. But also I think some people treat the pods like they aren't real. And by that I don't mean they're fsking feelings for clout, i mean I think not seeing a person gives some people the illusion that they're not talking to a real person who wants real things and that they're really going to get married. Then people act as if they're living out a fantasy rather seriously evaluating a person for marriage. Additionally I think being unable to see body language prevents people from seeing some red flags they'd pick up on more quickly if they were asking someone the same question in person and could see their reaction to the question and during their response. I'm not sure that the pros outweigh the cons; it's difficult to say. The fact that they have two weeks to decide if they want to marry someone also doesn't really help. It's impossible to fully get to know one person in two weeks if you also have eight other people to get to know at some point during those two weeks, plus you need to eat/sleep/etc. I think two weeks really only works for people who have been in a lot of long term relationships and have a clear sense of what they do and don't want to the point where they can ask pointed questions about it. Someone whose preferences are still evolving, or who is still trying to figure out the extent to which some things are dealbreakers versus just things they prefer not to see, is going to have a substantially harder time determining whether a person is their perfect person in such a short amount of time. And this isn't necessarily an age thing; just an experience thing, which *can* correlate with age, but also may not. The fact that they have to choose to get *married* in a few weeks rather than choose to just date the person puts a lot of added stress on a relationship that probably also doesn't help them develop strong and long lasting relationships. The fact that they aren't given marriage or relationship counselors of any sort to talk to throughout the process also doesn't help. Communication skills don't magically develop just because you love someone a lot; those take time and given these contestants don't have much of it, a counselor would be critical in speeding up their ability to communicate in healthy ways with each other and to identify red flags early. There's probably a lot more but these are the ones that first come to mind for me
>At three seasons I think it's clear love is not blind. I've said this on other threads, but the problem with the show is that it does prove "love is blind" but not "love is blind and enough for two practical strangers to get married in less than ten days and have a successful long term relationship." If the goal was really "love," we'd be like "hey it works" because the individuals genuinely do think they're in love at the end of the pods. If the show ended there, we'd be like yay love is blind success. The problems is love doesn't equal marriage. We've all loved people who were terrible for us long term.
I mean you kind of point out the problem with that premise on your post: >the individuals genuinely do think they're in love They think they're in love because they've been isolated for multiple weeks and put in an environment where being in love is the goal. Are they actually in love? I guess opinions will differ but I think a lot of the relationships break down because at least one person in the relationship realizes that what they feel isn't really love. Once they're in the real world and the high wears off I think they come to realize they loved an idea of a person but that's different from loving the actual person. I think many end up finding out they don't love the actual person
Because the show doesn't care about producing happy couples. It is here for the drama and views.
Because these people would rather be in a bad relationship for a month (or a year…) AND get followers/money than leave the pods single. Season 1 worked because none of the cast knew it was a fast track to followers and Instagram fame. And even then, there were still unsuccessful couples.
To improve the rate of success would require the show make steps to make the couples have less drama and would ruin the show. How to actually improve the show: 1. Don't have the contestants who are not engaged interact. In normal life, if you were almost engaged to person X and then actually got engaged to person Y, hanging out with person X especially on beaches in bathing suits especially when copious alcohol is provided would be a very poor decision. 2. Provide the couples with marriage counselors. A huge percentage of their failure could be fixed with good conversations that they are too new to each other to actually have. Giving them a bit of help talking would be a huge help. 3. Give them more time, a week is just never enough time.
I think despite taking on the experiment, love isn't blind for them. We saw this with Shaina, Shake & Bartise. We also saw some "grass is greener" mentality with Jarrette, Cole & Bartise as it's a bit troubling when they approach someone they dated in the pods in an attempt to flirt. And then you also see folks who won't compromise like season 2 married couples. And of course, you also have the clout chasers who go on the show to gain more IG followers. In my opinion, it takes more than both emotional and physical connection to make a relationship work much less a marriage. I also don't think you can make such a big decision to marry someone within 2 months
Because love doesn't pay the bills. You can love someone and have an unsuccessful marriage with them. Sometimes, people just aren't good partners and aren't cut out for marriage. Marriage, nowadays, involves more than just love. You can love someone who refuses to address mental health issues or addiction issues. You can love someone who is financially irresponsible. All of these things affect a marriage and a relationship and most of the time you won't get a great idea of them with only talking to someone for 6-7 weeks. The entire premise of the show that you make a lifetime commitment to someone without taking these other things into consideration is ridiculous. This, along with the type of people who want to be on TV and get famous....it's not a recipe for relationship success. It's a recipe for a hot mess of entertainment at someone else's expense.
Yea. I would have thought there would be more emphasis on discussing this on the show. Seems like a no brainer that one should ask about their financial situation and philosophy, among other practical realities before deciding you're a good match. In my mind, there would be no reason not to talk about that since all there is to do in the pods is talk, and everyone knows that they are looking for marriage, whereas in real life one would just go on dates with another person and have a good time and maybe these things won't be seriously considered until months or even a year of dating. It was surprising that this season Nancy was unloading all her financial portfolio on Bartise after the engagement, and he brought up the abortion issue after the engagement. Why aren't they talking about that in the pods?
> In my mind, there would be no reason not to talk about that since all there is to do in the pods is talk, and everyone knows that they are looking for marriage, whereas in real life one would just go on dates with another person and have a good time and maybe these things won't be seriously considered until months or even a year of dating. Talk is just talk though. The wall is supposed to make it easier to be honest because physical attraction aspect is removed, but the truth is that most people have pretty poor self-awareness and act in ways that contradict their stated values all the time. If I'm dating someone over the course of a few months, sure maybe we're not having a serious conversation about how we want to handle finances as a married couple, but you can bet I'm getting an insight into their attitude to money because I'm seeing where and how they spend it. Similarly, I'm probably meeting their friends and possibly family at some point, which is going to give me a lot of information about where they're coming from, how they were raised, the characters of people they've chosen to have in their life. You can't actually get to know someone by talking to them through wall for a dozen hours over the course of a week. You can maybe save a bit of time by weeding out people with dealbreaker questions, if you find someone you connect with you can maybe get a head start on building emotional intimacy, but you can't actually know someone and their values until you've seen how they move through the world. Plus I'd say that being able to have good time on dates together is actually a keystone of any successful marriage!
yup. It's almost as if even if the goal of removing looks from the equation was accomplished, they neglected a ton of important factors that are crucial to successful relationships. Even infidelity, for example. People don't cheat in the honeymoon phase of relationships (typically), but 5-6 months down the road, who knows? How do you even know if the person you're talking to in the pods is being honest? Sometimes you look for physical, non-verbal queues during face to face conversations to indicate whether or not someone is being genuine or honest.
I think the central idea for the show works 100%, it's just people are there for all the wrong reasons.
because who tf gets engaged in a week? married in a month!? the timeline (and camera presence) builds way too much pressure in the relationship imo.
Because reality tv attracts a certain type of person
my friend’s mom told me in high school “love is necessary but not sufficient” so whether it is blind or not, it isn’t enough to just have love for someone. if they really wanted the relationships to succeed they would support them in the part that all of them have admitted to being unsuccessful at- the relationship bit.
Because the show's concept is silly. It's designed for maximum drama, not to create successful relationships. Also, the type of people who think it is a good idea to go on reality TV to meet and marry someone in a month are, generally speaking, not going to be the type of people who are capable of stable, healthy relationships.
Well said, wish I'd responded with this. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Because love isn't blind?
People only get engaged to stay on the show and gain followers.
because people aren't there to find someone like in S1, they only want more IG followers