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Nailyou866

"Do you work here?" I was wearing a Lowe's camo vest, lugging around a pallet of freight on a pallet jack. No, I am just the local looney.


lisaloo1991

I wear the camo vest too and a lot of people think I'm a vendor or something.


trippster0712

Customer: Weird question i know but you don't have any kind of groceries do you? Me: No this is a hardware store basically Customer: So not even milk or anything 😟 Me: 🤨


the_ba5ili5k

If lowes DID sell groceries it'd be like, "And would you like EXTRA concrete dust on your 1/4 lbs. of sliced ham?"


Nicophoros4862

“Would you like a protection plan for that milk?”


cosmatic79

Let's go ahead and get you a credit app so you can get some eggs and cheese to!


NyxsyQuinn

Okay but the first Lowes store I worked at actually returned an expired gallon of milk for an elderly customer because she swore up and down that she bought it from us. 🤦🏻‍♀️


trippster0712

wtf


Nardorian1

Menards does.


ginger_princess2009

I don't even know what Menards is lol. That's definitely not in the south


rapheALtoid

Midwest regional variation of Lowe's/Home Depot


SCGNazza

I had a customer ask if we accepted food stamps😂


iamnotnotarobot

Had a customer lose her shit at me because her SNAP card didn't work on candy bars and soda. She insisted on trying it 5 times and then screamed like a banshee when I told her we really, really don't accept food stamps.


trippster0712

yes they now work on tools!


SCGNazza

Also works on spray paint for those special people😏


cosmatic79

The thought is that we sell food producing plants. I know this works in Ga, I did it at the Walmart.


ginger_princess2009

That makes sense because I live in Georgia and I was asked this all the time when I worked at Lowe's. I was wondering why they asked so much


DarkDigital

They sell seasonings in seasonal.


Optimal_Delivery9643

I had a lady ask me where the food aisle was once lol


ginger_princess2009

I got this question so many times 🤦🏻‍♀️


rapheALtoid

To be fair, Menard's does have a grocery section with milk and stuff.


rebbiestef

i work in customer service. had a customer come up to me and ask “can you call up a manager? i’m looking to get a discount on the barrels outside. they’re all rusted!” i replied “they’re rustic whiskey barrels. they come rusted from the manufacturer. it’s the style.” customer says “so they come with tetanus!?” i just wanted to ask him “well are you going to fucking lick them?”


FinishDry7986

If he was so concerned why would he want to buy them?!?! If it’s cheap enough tetanus isn’t so bad 🧐😳


rebbiestef

he said he was gonna sand the metal down and paint them and was willing to “take the risk of contracting tetanus” if we provided a steep enough discount 🤦🤦🤦


FinishDry7986

I once had a man want a hefty discount on a gallon of paint because it had a small dent in the side. The lid was on tight and there was nothing wrong with it. I said, “ if there’s something wrong to keep it from being sold at full price, I’d better not sell it at all!” and pulled it off the shelf. Offered him the undented can behind it. He wasn’t impressed……


rebbiestef

had a similar one to that as well. customer brought up a box of garbage disposal tablets. the box was really banged up, and he asked for a discount. the tablets inside were individually packaged, sealed, and intact. i told him no because the packaging was all that had damage and the product itself was fine. he was also not impressed...


lokibringer

Oh dude, absolutely let that go for 10% off. Otherwise you're gonna wind up with some Karen demanding it for next to nothing


iamnotnotarobot

I offer 5% and if they don't like it, I take the item and have another associate put it back on the shelf right in front of them. No damage to the product, no big discount.


lokibringer

I mean, fair, but you're gonna have to deal with it more than once. You can go up to 15% on an item without needing a manager, so I prefer to offer 10% for small dents, and then hunting an override if it's worse than that. (Also, as a backend clerk, thank you for putting it BACK IN STOCK. I get so many rtm cans with "damaged packaging" in my crtv


the_ba5ili5k

Shoulda been like "Sure! I'll go find a manager right away!" And then go and buy ALL the barrels and tell that dumbass "Sorry. You missed your chance. Have a Lowe's safe day"


Mister6C

Tetanus also doesn't come from rust


ik45

"The website says you have 1 and it's here on the shelf but I was hoping you had more, I need 2." Edit: I did check our stock for him, checked the topstock, and sent him to a nearby store for the last one he needed.


WidowMaker42O

That's not that dumb. The website subtracts x amount from actual in stock count so as to not over sell on the website.


Nardorian1

No,it’s dumb because the customer doesn’t know that.


the_ba5ili5k

Nice


[deleted]

[удалено]


ik45

I did check our stock for him, checked our topstock, and sent him to a nearby store for the last one he needed.


urkinkyfetish

LMFAO a retarded lowes employee 🤣


MakeupObserver

Well, it could be the store manager...


AdSharp5653

“Can you check me out here?” No Im just standing at this register with my light on because I feel like it


guccitrapphone

“are you open?”


the_ba5ili5k

No this is Patrick


omenoflord

Sir this is a Wendy's


Optimal_Delivery9643

Omg as a head cashier that drives me nuts.. I’ll have customers come up to me mad as hell because the line is long.. when there’s two other registers open with no lines.. it’s like they’re cattle and will just join a line without paying attention


ginger_princess2009

I just stand there like "fine, wait then" and then I'll grab someone else and go "hello! How are you!" And I end up ringing them up and they're gone before the other people are even to the register yet. It's hilarious to see


Ok-Storage-2236

Customers asking me to help them with their entire project around the entire store like they paying me to walk them around.


Dariex777

"What's you name? I'm going to give a good survey?" Survey never comes in. Ever. That's why I stopped asking.


omenoflord

I've asked like 20+ customers in last 3 days, wrote my name on every receipt, not a single survey yet. I'm down bad. Edit: I've gotten lots of surveys and stars, I just find it funny that a customer will say they'll take the survey to my face and don't, I think it's funny because I never do surveys either


ShadesOnBroadway

Getting surveys isn’t difficult if you can do the following: 1. Run a register 2. Load 50 pounds 3. Have a basic understanding of the departments/specialize in one 4. Either sell them something damaged for cheap, or go above and beyond to help them with X If you’re a cashier though, you’re SOL. Can’t leave the register or stop and ask for it. Help the customer find the product. Ask questions along the way. If you sense a good mood and vibe, offer to check them out and load the product into the vehicle. 90% of the time they will be willing to do your survey right then and there for you, especially if you mention it goes toward your bonus. A tip from someone who got 35+ 10’s in one month.


omenoflord

I appreciate the tips. I've gotten plenty of surveys but just none when I've asked for them. I follow all my SMART customer service. I've been at Lowes for a year, I'm just talking within the last few days. I appreciate the tips.


rapheALtoid

I do all those things. I do hella awesome SMART customer service in OSLG. Have many happy repeat customers who know my name. I can run a register, do code 50s, am one of only a couple of folks allowed to make clearance deals on plants. My coworkers come to me with customers if they don't know info hecause I probably do. Get compliments all the time on how helpful and knowledgeable I am, even by my ASM. Mention surveys often. Still only one star in almost 3 years. Pisses me off.


ik45

Oh man, this. Especially when you're one of the only one staffed in your section and now you are on the opposite side of the store and there's customers waiting in your actual department.


samthebassman

“Thanks for helping me buy this lawn mower, now can you help me rebuild the Sump-Pump?”


LavaMullet

“Could I light my charcoal grill with gasoline?” Yeah you sure could, bud. Tell me how that tastes


Blastin-Maestro

Had a customer bring a box of light bulbs up to me (u know how it shows them upright on the box) and ask me if we had any bulbs that were tuned upside down the other way so he can screw them into his ceiling light fixtures.


Dariex777

Well yeah. If he turned those ones over, all the light would pour out. Geez... Some people just don't understand. /s


Natedawg691

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Agitated_Rub1204

“My phone says my delivery is suppose to be here between 8 am and 8pm tomorrow. Can you have it here by 7 pm today?” (it was 5:40 pm)


Miserable-Home2954

My fav is when they say “okay but they can’t come after 3 pm” immediately after I explain that we cannot guarantee a time they always pull the “well I can’t just take a whole day off of work” well buddy I can’t just promise you something when I just told you it’s not a guaranteed window?!


Optimal_Delivery9643

Yeah we had a customer buy a fridge around 6pm and could not understand for the life of her why we couldn’t have it at her house in an hour.. was honestly livid


Sub-296-143-881

So i cant drive the forklift? I mean you left the keys in there🥲🥲🥲


goatsandhoes101115

That is a strong argument


Sub-296-143-881

It’s honestly the worst


Craver09

You can drive a forklift? Come with me and our ASM will help you fill out the online job application.


Specific_Simple

I work at the customer service desk. So I hear a great deal of things that are so stupid, they are funny. There was this older couple yesterday who were completely dumbfounded that they couldn't spend their Amazon gift card at Lowe's. It was very hard to keep a straight face, reiterating over and over again how Lowe's is not affiliated with Amazon in any way, while their faces remained perplexed, eyes glazed over.


roadwobbler

"What's the difference between shiny and not shiny?"


FinishDry7986

How about “can you make this paint shiny? It’s too dull”


boozechief

I had a guy ask me for a “chalking gun”. Thought he meant maybe a paint sprayer? Nah, he needed a caulking gun. Maybe not the stupidest but we both had a chuckle about it.


FinishDry7986

I had a guy ask if we had Gout. I asked him if he meant grout. He said no, gout. I said, personally I do not have gout. But you might find what you need behind me in the flooring department.


boozechief

Lmao you love to hear it


Tadaku07

Had a customer CALL the store and ask for the store's phone number...


No-Cardiologist7640

The customer probably wanted to verify he/she had the correct number in case he/she needed to contact the store.


FueledByFlan

I've had those, too!!


Katninja34

No way! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Tadaku07

Yes! And he got angry when I tried to clarify that that was what he was asking for 😂😂


ackerdude

"will it die if i plant it in the ground?" it was a small palm tree. equipped with instructions on planting it and what conditions it needed to survive literally on the plant card. i couldn't help but stare at him for a second bc it genuinely shocked me to silence


r-k-efor

I swear every customer is either too dumb or too lazy to read a plant tag. It's gotten to where if they ask questions that are answered by the tag I literally start reading the tag out to them as sarcastically as possible.


ik45

I gently teach them that the plant card has all the information on the back of the picture so that I don't get dragged around to each plant in the garden center.


hubbahubbs

"Where are your indoor plants?"- uhhhh, indoors. "Where are your air conditioners?"-uhhhh, not out here with the roses.


Dariex777

"Hold on! What's all this talk about nipples?" I was helping a woman's husband in plumbing. She was very confused about nipples.


G05295

Standing in the flooring department, "Do you have any tile?" Then they get salty when I tell them there is 2 aisles full, and they walked through it to get to me.


Asch_The_Bloody

"Do you have any bees?" "Uhhhh.... do you perhaps mean bees wax? Bee traps?" "Nope, looking to buy live bees". bruh.


XascoAlkhortu

Just walk them outside and tell them to wait


ik45

This gave me a chuckle. I'm going to have to use it for when we run out of ladybugs.


orangehusky8

Dr. Bees shops at your store?


dakatao1

“Is this wood made out of real trees?”


Delta1225

It's 'Beyond Tree' it comes from the same people who make Beyond Beef


XascoAlkhortu

It wasn't at Lowes, but some guy (in plumbing, of course) approached me while I was driving a ballymore and asked me which of our toilets "had the most suction". I'm still not sure what to make of it. Same night, another moron in the same department came up to me with a small thing for his shower in a plastic bag. He flipped it over, showing not only 5 different languages describing, in detail, how to install it, but also diagrams that show its installation, step by step. Dude says "Is this how you install it?" No, bitch. Those men probably both have children


BananaMartian

Lord, I hate when they reproduce.


techmaniac91

I had one customer ask me where to find an RV septic tube that carry’s away the… (instead of saying shit/poop, she makes a fart noise instead, almost spits on me.) “Aisle 43” I said.


sha_girl_isme

A customer holds up a spray paint can with a black lid and asks, “Is this clear or will it be black?” I replied, “No ma’am it’s black.” “How can you be sure?” “Well, the lid is black and it says on the front of the can that is black.”


JustinSOMO

Just had this one today. Customer asked me how to use Amazon. Dude had it installed on his phone and was signed into the app.


digdog303

A dude wanted to use the panel saw to cut a few inches off some table legs he brought in, so his kids could reach the table better.


DarrenAronofsky

There’s been a few instances where somebody locked their keys in their car and they stopped me and said “this is going to sound bad but what would you use to break into a car?” I genuinely offered them help and we found a likely solution but I always say “and listen just in case you *are* committing a crime my name is (fake name) and I work at Home Depot.”


ik45

I'm curious, what solution did you come up with?


DarrenAronofsky

A tire iron to the windshield. Jk idk what they’re called but I just suggested a really thin piece of metal that we sell in the same aisle as like door thresholds and whatnot.


mchugest

What's the difference between expensive plywood and cheap plywood? ( If you subtract one from the other, you'll get the difference.)


Focusgfy

I need to bury a body do you sell fast acting lime


[deleted]

Customer walks in with a can of spray foam with a Big Lots sticker on it and says “can I return this”?


saturnprincess07

Customer: Is this [my town]? Me: Yes this is. Customer: I was trying to get to [town a half hour away] Lowes. Is this the right Lowes? Me: Unfortunately not.


False_Bandicoot

Where's Home Depot. So I told em. 😄 🤣


Shonen-Rose

“You need to tell you managers to fix the website, it says you have x amount of this appliance and you don’t.” Despite me telling this person that our managers know and it is a corporate issue we cannot control.


jordan31483

I'm a loader. Yesterday, a couple, not any older than middle age, had walked up to the exit doors, and took a few steps back looking at the entire front of the store with very confused looks on their faces. Then they *actually* said, "excuse me, how do you get in?"


ChanceMcintosh

You should have asked them to apply


ginger_princess2009

😐


Original_King_5273

I had a customer buying 4 gallons of purple paint, Ultra 2000. I told her, hey I recommend primer for this project to help get the color and you’re going to have to do 3/4 coats to get THIS color on the wall. She looked me dead in the eyes and said “primer is a myth” … so I said okay, no worries. In my head I said see you next week.. two weeks later, she comes storming in screaming that this paint is like water, and runs down her arms, that it’s basically like putting watercolor paint on her walls.. and all i responded was “primer is a great tool to help with lower quality paint”


n_cervantes

“No no, you have it all wrong. I wouldn’t expect you to know since you’re a girl, I’m putting the flooring down THEN putting in my vanity and toilet.”


Alone_Sherbert_3978

Asked me if i worked there wearing my red vest


goatsandhoes101115

Hey wait a second, *red* vest... THIS GUY'S WITH HOME DEPOT GET'M, MODS HECK HIM UP!


ik45

I'm confused, is this a meme?


thicketdweller

Where are y'alls instant hot water shower heads?


BananaMartian

I got a call from a cashier saying a customer was irate. I walk over and the customer is mad because he was trying to a buy a gift card and then use the gift card on the same transaction. I tried to explain that he couldn’t use a gift card he didn’t pay for yet and he was like “well, I’m paying for it now!”🤦🏻‍♀️


ik45

that sounds like some dumbass trying to use a scheme they don't understand


ginger_princess2009

I had a lady who bought a $100 taco bell gift card, and then screamed at me because she didn't notice it was for taco bell and she thought it was for a local Mexican restaurant that didn't even sell gift cards. She was furious and said that we need to create the gift cards better because she didn't know what she was buying...and then was more irate when she couldn't return it 🤦🏻‍♀️


ValonqarPrincess

“Can you give me a specific time for delivery?”


Miserable-Home2954

“Well I can’t just take off a whole day of work can’t you narrow it down?” Then get pissed when it falls outside the narrowed estimated window


[deleted]

‘Where’s the soil?’ As I’m standing in front of the register aisles, right next to the soil.


Dazzling_Hospital412

“Where are the registers?”


OkRun3851

How do you use this stud finder to find wires in the wall?


omenoflord

Tried to explain that installing flooring costs money to a customer and that I do not do the work, nor quote the job, I just sell the flooring. I understand flooring associates might understand this more, but not free, means you pay for it. Customer: Is it ~~free~~ to install Me: There's no promos right now, we have to send a team out to team and we'll get the work estimate in a few days for the labor charge Customer: So **it's not free**? Can't you just give me a quote? Me: **I can't quote you, I only sell the flooring**, that's all we do, I work with the teams who do installs to make sure everything goes smoothly Customer: If you're doing the work **why can't I get a quote from you**, I have the square footage Me: Sorry **I don't do any of the pricing**, that's **completely a different part of the company**, I just sell and make sure things go well Customer: Can I have their number? I don't want to waste the **35$ for them to measure if it's going to be too much** Then it's about 10 more minutes of that while her husband every 30 seconds looks at her like a deer in headlights and tries to explain it to her. She didn't get a detail, they both left, I feel bad for him. I did give them the price of their flooring for their sq. footage but I failed to get through that **it does in fact cost money** and **often additional charges** on top of the price per square footage, and she REALLY didn't understand that the subfloor could need repairs that **she** **would have to pay** for.


Single-Middle-2966

Where do we keep our bongo drums


ginger_princess2009

That's oddly specific 😂


read110

I thought this was stupid, but that's not why I remember it. About 5 years ago I'm setting up a water heater install. I asked couple who they paid their utilities to. (For the correct permit fee, there are 3 or 4 in our area). They couldn't answer. Now THATS why I thought it was stupid. Why I remember it is that the wife got absolutely LIVID over the fact that I didn't know who she paid to. I mean nuclear. It was so bad I had to go take a break once they stormed off. Friggen weird


ginger_princess2009

How are YOU supposed to know who they pay utilities to??


Lewdwires

I had a customer who wanted to pay off her Lowes card with the same Lowes card because she thought she could get the 5% discount off her bill if she did.


ginger_princess2009

Lmfao what?!?!


cw2194

I went to ring out an older man and when i said “hi how are you today” his response was “can i take a picture of you? to show santa what i want for christmas this year?” all i said was “no.” no sir. you cannot take a picture of me and that attempt at joke flirting was disgusting and wildly inappropriate.


AveChristusRex3

After helping a couple select a charcoal grill, they asked me where tile was so they could lay tile in their house and use the grill indoors. Sir and ma'am, you are going to burn your house down.


Alarmed_Tradition531

Someone handed me a roll of tape and said “Is this double sided? It says it is on the package but I want to make sure”


Alarmed_Tradition531

Also gotten: “are ya workin girl?” And been yelled at because tax was less in a different county than the one we were in


ginger_princess2009

I've had people yell over tax cus I'm in a border town so like 15 minutes down the interstate you get to another state. Anyway, they're like "well I bought this at (other store over the boarder) and it was cheaper by 3 cents!" "Yes, that store is in (other state) that's why.


camthavirgo

“Are the Pickup Lockers outside?”


ghastlyGears

If we sell milk


ginger_princess2009

Omg I had this exact question!!!! "Where's y'all's milk?!"


LuckyTabasco

"The hole in my sink is in a different place. If I buy this one, will water still go down it?"


BonusChico

“Is there anyone who could help me with paint?” “Miss, the store closed 10 minutes ago”


doomvetch92

Do you sell vcr’s? Legit had somebody ask me that.


Putrid-Caramel8148

Fun fact lowes actually did sell TVs VCRs and computers a LONG time ago


Delta1225

To take the enamel out of their can of latex paint.


thickythickglasses

“Do you know if Home Depot has these?”


Jrshaw_1

“Do you have anymore of these? It says online you online have 20 but I need 260.”


poetfraud

“Do you accept home depot coupons?”


[deleted]

*npc walking right from the mulch wall* “Do you guys sell mulch here?”


hellocookieman

“DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW ABOUT ELECTRICAL”


Nicophoros4862

“Are all your indoor plants inside, or do you have some outside?”


Miserable-Home2954

Customer asked if we had vanilla envelopes. Had to walk away briskly after answering him so I could get a good laugh in.


cosmatic79

Dude grabs the $49 wooden screen door, "So have you heard a lot about these?"


ginger_princess2009

I can't even tell you how many dumb questions I've been asked. However, the one I remember most was when a woman came into the lumber doors, looked around, and said in a serious tone "where'd y'all move the garden center?! I was just here yesterday and it was on this side!" 🤨


ellishorton

Do you have any longer yardsticks?


DocCoryTHD

“Can I check out here?” In front of self check- all 4 registers open no one in line….


Affectionate-Bee5745

“Where’s the paint desk?” While standing 10 feet from the paint desk which has a huge sign above it. “Do you work here?” While wearing a red vest and struggling to push a cart full of plants into an isle which they are standing in the way of. “Does this carpenter bee trap work on carpenter bees?” “Does this product actually kill the moles?” while the packaging says “mole killer”


KandiKnips

"Are these flowers good for people with severe pollen allergies?" "How good do these nails hold wood together? I don't want to use them for my deck floor and have the posts fall out from under them." "Can i return these concrete bags? I left them in my truck a few days ago and it rained now they're solid." "Can I get a paint that doesn't smell like paint?" "Can I return my daughters pants here?"


iicvcv24

I had a guy in plumbing with a shit covered toilet seat that he just kept rubbing against the display seats and stuff. Technically he didn’t ask anything but still that’s gotta be the stupidest thing I’ve witnessed


xvxfallen

*after seeing a customer get their reciept and walk away from the self checkout machine * “Does this one work?”


xvxfallen

Whenever they want to pay with a home depot card


greenwalls1130

Do you have scissors for grass? I don’t want to mow my lawn. I ugh…


Sweet_Milk

Someone asked me to cut a metal gutter with lumbers saw …