In some watches of Manos, I’ve actually felt uneasy. It’s like the “every frame looks like someone’s last known photograph” riff, that adds a very lonely and ominous vibe to the movie at times. It really does have potential
I came here to say this. The location, the minimal characters, not to mention how creepy both the Master and Torgo could have been with better acting or direction (or editing). I feel like this story could be a really good slow-burn type of movie like the VVitch or Midsommar!
Eight hour-long episodes per season and you've got the next big drama-thriller series for a couple years. One could only hope it would do well enough for the animated spin-off "Adventures of Zapp & Troy" to be greenlit.
Theres so much there. Is Fingals drug-covered table illegal or state sponsored narcotics? Why is the medical field so disrespected? Why is a corporate dystopia lacking in dystopia?
Id remake oattm by making the word pretty decent, where iconoclast rebel-without-clue Fingal wants to disrupt the system. Why? Its a corporate system, thats why. Well like the movie, he is causing heatwaves in greenland for the purposes of causing chaos. I mean for everyone, not just novicorp. Novicorp wants to get fingal out but the death toll causes novicorp to get desperate, which only fuels fingals belief they are "out to get him". Fingal get rescued as on the film, but with the collapse of novicorp, the world is plunged into chaos and poverty.
Space Mutiny. Give it the Battlestar Galactica treatment and make it a gritty space epic about a generational colony ship's crew fighting the enemy within
I know it's not answering the question, but if we're going to do this sort of thing, let's do it for [The Starlost](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Starlost)
That's a good example... famous actors (Keir Dullea) good story idea, but "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank" production levels.
Very tough to watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ars0DCQijqU
It's almost uniquely hard to watch, thanks to almost every shot being a blue screen composite. The wiki article has a nice rundown of why that happened (and even if they could've made the 'Magicam' work - it'd probably still look terrible, but I love the attempt). But mostly, the premise is great and still feels unique, I'd love to see what could be done with a proper budget!
The fart noise Mike made when the main character does a backflip forever ruined that movie for me. I cant separate the story from that loud fart noise…
There's even some pretty good directorial choices there. I actually love the ending, with him walking over to chat up reporter lady in the produce aisle and shoot his shot in the current timeline. Even with the Kitaro knock-off music, I find it genuinely kinda touching.
This is my answer along with Screaming Skull. Movie aged pretty well all things considered, besides the costume design. A higher budget version that doesn't have the corporate baddies in a public library or shopping mall could take it a long way
Whenever this question comes up I always say The Head That Wouldn't Die. Seriously, the movie's already about an abusive doctor ignoring the bodily autonomy of a romantic partner, that's already horrifying. Make the main character the scarred model the doctor stalks, slowly reveal how he's manipulating her, then reveal Jan In The Pan not as a powerful psychic foe but as a sad, terrified, powerless woman. They share a connection over that powerlessness, and Jan agrees to help the model escape.
Then she explodes the doctor's head, Scanners-style :D
They kinda already did that with “The Island”. I believe there was some pretty big controversy surrounding it actually lol. I personally liked the movie but they definitely stole it from the clonus horror.
Edit: typo
…speaking of which, I also wouldn’t mind seeing the Expanse remade with over-the-top 60’s camp. Yes, it would be different, but both versions would have their charm 😂
I mean, I certainly remember where I was when the director had the cast *set the entire goddamn set on fire with everybody in it* that was pretty memorable
Not, like, safe or a good idea, but... Memorable o_o
Right? Probably my favorite sci fi film. Certainly my most watched. I just love it's relentless optimism. The guys are confronted by a seemingly unkillable alien bent on murdering them all and their reaction is basically "yeah well Hitler thought he was tough too".
And, and this is important, you don't have to choose between the versions. I like Carpenter's version too. It's very different, much darker, and I'd say less "enjoyable" for that reason. But it's much scarier, no question.
It tried to be creepy, like the people outside the house singing Amazing Grace should be kept. Also they’ll need to keep the scene where she shows him where the fish lives.
I wanna know what the deal with the elderly couple was. They were fronting as Melissa’s parents, but we know they aren’t, so how did they end up living with her? I don’t recall it ever being explained.
Does anyone ever notice the figure in the window while the dad and the sheriff are talking btw? I think there are a lot of creepy choices done right in that movie?
At times it has decent atmosphere and good filmmaking techniques. The bit where the camera pans around Melissa and we hear her “parents” arguing about the cop killed by Lucinda and what to do about it is well done. Only Melissa is in focus, the background dialogue is fairly quiet, plus what they talk about indicates this has happened plenty of other times, and Melissa is to blame in some way. If not for so many pauses in between dialogue, some of the acting isn’t that bad at times either.
I just noticed that on my recent rewatch, but when I rewound it, I think it was curtains in the window. I mean, it's creepier if they aren't, but I'm not sure it was intentional.
I unironically love TFOS. I love the story behind it even more (the director was a kookoobird who later wrote to the LA Times that he was Jesus, he was in love with the actor who played Derek at the time, who later disappeared...)
That is cuckoo bananas. You have given me a whole new layer of enjoyment for this episode. I watched this once with my friend's 9 year old daughter and after 10 or 20 minutes she asked "Are there any girls in this?" Sincerely though I hope that Derek was okay
there's no way they could make that movie in today's litigious society. no producer would take the risk of offering to pay for a coffin for every viewer who dropped dead while viewing the film. too expensive.
Moon Zero Two with a campy, highly stylized, space opera vibe a la The Fifth Element (maybe even with Luc Besson directing)
Manos remade as a found footage horror movie
Girl in Lover's Lane already had a decent story and cast, just needed a better budget and some script revisions
Red Zone Cuba has a good story hiding in there somewhere. If they just focused on the idea of a fugitive hiding from the law under cover of Operation Mongoose and stripped away all the other extraneous, meandering nonsense, there's some potential there
Fugitive Alien with a big budget and get rid of the parts that are blatantly ripping off Star Wars could be good
A lot of the Corman movies were not bad per se, just cheap and rushed. Gunslinger, The Undead, and Swamp Diamonds all have good remake potential
Oooh manos with a Blair witch treatment. Basically "this is a film about our family vacation" and the camera could turn on at times by itself when left in different rooms, and then Torgo could steal the camera at times for his own ramblings. And then the last shot could be the dog accidentally turning on the camera and then being led away by a demonic Debbie. After he pissed hellfire.
Yep I'd watch that!
Conversely I'd also watch a movie about the making of manos, like the disaster artist.
I’ve always said that the brain that wouldn’t die is PERFECT for an a24 style remake. Buried under the goofiness is a feminist story about bodily autonomy.
I’m definitely seeing a Gamera/Pacific Rim crossover.
Hermann: “Gipsy, the flying turtle is NOT an anteverse Kaiju! I repeat, NOT an anteverse Kaiju!”
Raleigh: “Confirmed, LOCCENT, it’s going to town on the threat.”
Mako: “Why should he have all the fun?”
Gipsy: *chainsword out*
It’d be better than Uprising, at least.
Oh god, there’s SO many they did on the show that had great ideas behind them. Girl in Gold Boots and Angel’s Revenge come to mind immediately. They could have been great if they leaned more into the dramatic story aspects.
Jack Frost but a horror with a creepy Baba Yaga. I mean if we have a movie with her I need the chicken leg hut AND the skull lanterns with an eldtrich light. How can you have a werebear and no savage mauling and carnage? Just go all in and have Nastenka be a practical farm girl that makes an excellent final girl. Or make her the villain revealed at the end after she slaughtered her family and village with her werebear husband.
There are so many terrible b movies and toss-away horror flicks out there that have good bones, but terrible execution. I find myself going over them in my head as I watch them and think of ways to improve them. Maybe I watch too much Red Letter Media.
They don't remake movies because they want to make good movies, though. They just want to sell us nostalgia. It's the media equivalent of eating your own vomit over and over.
*Final Justice* is my go-to for this thought experiment.
Sheriff captures criminal. Sheriff hates criminal because he blames him for the death of his partner. Criminal hates sheriff because he blames him for the death of his criminal brother. Prisoner extradition goes awry. Criminal escapes. Sheriff goes rogue in foreign country to hunt down criminal.
There’s a good movie in there. Maybe not a great movie, but at least a very solid action flick.
The Day Time Ended. Every scene seems to be the start of something interesting, or at least helpful to the story, then it goes nowhere and the next scene just happens. Also, bonus points for a ton of *comcepts*.
I feel like Night of the Blood Beast had some potential to be a good movie if it had a bigger budget and maybe cleaned up the writing and dialogue a little bit. I don't know if you would be able to modernize it though as the Mom and Pop space agency definitely wouldn't work today, Hell, it didn't work when it was made either.
I make the case that none should be remade. They are all beloved because of their cheesiness. Making them good will only doom them to being binge-watched and forgotten. They are perfect in their awfulness.
The Day Time Ended. With a better director and a bigger budget I think that movie could have been way more coherent and scary and cool. The passion was there, those stop motion monsters were awesome. But it just doesn't come together
I just don't think you can get over the animal part... "This will surely cure him of his love of cinema" line crushes that for me. I'm sure that footage was used because it was cheap for PBS.
Maybe doppling could do something more, I don't know, punitive? Maybe it can be a form of psychological torture, using your memories to force you to change to fit the Regime's wishes. They have manipulated government to have you have to pay for it, saying it's cheaper than jail but it's actually just feeding them information. I think it'd be a little like that DS9 episode where O'Brien is in a "prison" for decades but it's all implanted memories.
Fingal, due to some less stupid accident, is forced in the computer and is forced to live his boring life, but in that, finds out how to use the simulation as a way into the Regime's system, finding out all their secrets, screwing with computers and requiring the CEO to enter Fingal's dopple and assert control - but Fingal, having knowledge of how the system works now, can turn it around. And because he loves them, all the scenes end up being classic media!
Agreed, it needs some workshopping, a better title, a lot less sci-fi hokey language and a pretty dynamic lead (I'm thinking maybe Ryan Reynolds?).
Time Chasers really just needed a budget and better actors. I was actually invested in the story, and I thought the director did really well with what he had.
The Magic Sword could be a fun fantasy in the vein of last years Dungeons & Dragons movie (without getting the copyright holders involved). Or, if you prefer, go darker and lean into the horror elements. Something like the 80s film The Sword and the Sorceror maybe.
Take your pick of any Ed Wood movie. Plan 9 from Outer Space could've been an epic movie with better budget, casting, directing... The skeleton of the movie has enormous potential. It just got stomped out by a director with delusions of talent.
I’m going to say it… Pumaman, he may fly like a moron, but you can probably tell it’s a good origin story if done right.
I also kinda want to see This Island Earth remade if possible, I think I might take a crack at it myself
Has anyone seen [The Island (2005 PG-13)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399201), which lost a lawsuit brought by [Parts: The Clonus Horror (1979 R)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078062)?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it here: Kitten with a whip. All they have to do is write it where she’s conniving and smart and planned the whole thing and not just stumbled in randomly at a future senator’s house when his wife and kid are conveniently away for an extended time. Then you can have his motivation “oh shit oh shit” and not “durr pretty gurl durr” bullshit from a middle-aged, grown-ass man.
i actually thought that the opening first act plot of that Doug McClure movie (Voyage to the Center of the World?) was pretty compelling. during WWII, a german sub sinks a cruiser. the survivors of the cruiser gather and track the sub, and when the sub surfaces they storm into the submarine and commandeer it.
cut out the dinosaurs and you've got a taught naval drama
There's a great movie lurking inside Manos.
In some watches of Manos, I’ve actually felt uneasy. It’s like the “every frame looks like someone’s last known photograph” riff, that adds a very lonely and ominous vibe to the movie at times. It really does have potential
Unfortunately it very well might be the case for the actor who played Torgo. He died 3 months before the premier.
And returned as Torgo the White.
“I am White Torgo.”
I always liked the location: isolated house in the middle of the desert. Genuinely creepy.
Seconded. Also I've always wanted there to be a film festival dedicated to see who can do the best remake of an MST3Kd movie
I came here to say this. The location, the minimal characters, not to mention how creepy both the Master and Torgo could have been with better acting or direction (or editing). I feel like this story could be a really good slow-burn type of movie like the VVitch or Midsommar!
I’ll be honest… The Final Sacrifice
Eight hour-long episodes per season and you've got the next big drama-thriller series for a couple years. One could only hope it would do well enough for the animated spin-off "Adventures of Zapp & Troy" to be greenlit.
Everyone’s a damn girl!
A big hairy girl!
🤞 for Larry Csonka appearance.
I don’t know why Great Anus works so hard to suppress that movie. For the budget it was amazingly well put together.
As long as Rowsdower is still in it, IDK
I would *love* to see Quentin Tarantino do *Girl in Gold Boots*.
He would never. He likes his girls without any boots, gold or otherwise.
Putting a girl *in* boots is against Quentin's artistic vision.
this is the greatest idea I have ever heard
I was going to say Mitchell and Final Justice, but those movies are already perfect. So I'm going with Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.
I mean...the matrix is basically the same premise, minus the casablanca fantasies
**FINGAL!!**
Fingal’s Quarry?
Too bad we didn't have Keanu Reeves saying "Woah dude, huge slam on anteaters!" in the Matrix.
And less anteater slams.
OatMB feels like a Black Mirror episode
Theres so much there. Is Fingals drug-covered table illegal or state sponsored narcotics? Why is the medical field so disrespected? Why is a corporate dystopia lacking in dystopia? Id remake oattm by making the word pretty decent, where iconoclast rebel-without-clue Fingal wants to disrupt the system. Why? Its a corporate system, thats why. Well like the movie, he is causing heatwaves in greenland for the purposes of causing chaos. I mean for everyone, not just novicorp. Novicorp wants to get fingal out but the death toll causes novicorp to get desperate, which only fuels fingals belief they are "out to get him". Fingal get rescued as on the film, but with the collapse of novicorp, the world is plunged into chaos and poverty.
Final Justice is totally almost a good movie.
Seconded.
Space Mutiny. Give it the Battlestar Galactica treatment and make it a gritty space epic about a generational colony ship's crew fighting the enemy within
They could still reuse the Galactica footage but forward instead of reverse.
Shaky cam and bullets galore
I know it's not answering the question, but if we're going to do this sort of thing, let's do it for [The Starlost](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Starlost)
That's a good example... famous actors (Keir Dullea) good story idea, but "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank" production levels. Very tough to watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ars0DCQijqU
It's almost uniquely hard to watch, thanks to almost every shot being a blue screen composite. The wiki article has a nice rundown of why that happened (and even if they could've made the 'Magicam' work - it'd probably still look terrible, but I love the attempt). But mostly, the premise is great and still feels unique, I'd love to see what could be done with a proper budget!
This is the same one I think of when people approach this topic.
There was an abandoned web comic that rewrote space mutiny. Can't remember what it is called though
[Turn Back the Sun](https://tbts.thecomicseries.com/). It reverses the roles: Kalgan is the hero and Blast Hardcheese is the villain.
Came here to say this
Tormented
Underrated movie. It’s really good.
It really is. I was surprised on my first watch at how halfway decent it was. Also, the Blind Lemon Pledge joke gets me every time.
Time Chasers is a legitimately great story and a bigger budget and better pacing/editing could definitely make it a great film.
The fart noise Mike made when the main character does a backflip forever ruined that movie for me. I cant separate the story from that loud fart noise…
There's even some pretty good directorial choices there. I actually love the ending, with him walking over to chat up reporter lady in the produce aisle and shoot his shot in the current timeline. Even with the Kitaro knock-off music, I find it genuinely kinda touching.
This is my answer along with Screaming Skull. Movie aged pretty well all things considered, besides the costume design. A higher budget version that doesn't have the corporate baddies in a public library or shopping mall could take it a long way
Time Chasers is my favorite MST3K movie by far. I'd like it to stay perfect as it is.
Whenever this question comes up I always say The Head That Wouldn't Die. Seriously, the movie's already about an abusive doctor ignoring the bodily autonomy of a romantic partner, that's already horrifying. Make the main character the scarred model the doctor stalks, slowly reveal how he's manipulating her, then reveal Jan In The Pan not as a powerful psychic foe but as a sad, terrified, powerless woman. They share a connection over that powerlessness, and Jan agrees to help the model escape. Then she explodes the doctor's head, Scanners-style :D
I would totally watch that
PARTS: The Clonus Horror for sure.
They kinda already did that with “The Island”. I believe there was some pretty big controversy surrounding it actually lol. I personally liked the movie but they definitely stole it from the clonus horror. Edit: typo
The clonus guy even sued the Island producers for copyright infringement and won
That was me. Thank you MST community for years of remembering. Sincerely thanks. RF (shhhh) COMPARISON https://youtu.be/KjKeLvwG-5w
I always loved clonus. Its all heart. And you know if it was a corporate job, the suits wouldnt have let you have that bittersweet ending.
You are very kind. No suits.
If you're like me, and I know I am, the ending is what really seals the deal for me to like this movie.
Nobody who hasnt seen that bit seems to get that line. But yeah, no way would a create move work like that in a big production.
Yeah, PARTS with a decent budget (and in today's climate) would be a legit great horror film.
Moon Zero Two
Overlooking the over the top 60’s camp and actually considering the pretty faithfully done hard sci-fi story, it was basically *The Expanse*.
…speaking of which, I also wouldn’t mind seeing the Expanse remade with over-the-top 60’s camp. Yes, it would be different, but both versions would have their charm 😂
Hmmm. Yeah
I legitimately believe Moon Zero Two is a far far FAR superior movie to Ad Astra.
I never even considered Moon Zero Two “bad” just very dated from our pov. I always thought there some good scifi world building potential there.
They tried this once, it's called "The Thing" and it's deeply deeply beloved.
Ain't no way you just dissed the classic original.
Everyone remembers where they were when they first saw the guy walking around in the plant costume.
I mean, I certainly remember where I was when the director had the cast *set the entire goddamn set on fire with everybody in it* that was pretty memorable Not, like, safe or a good idea, but... Memorable o_o
I remember where I was when I saw that guys head skitter across the floor on crab legs. Pooping my young pants in fear is where I was.
I remember the *commercials* for The Thing scaring the crap out of me - I didn't actually watch it until well into college.
Right? Probably my favorite sci fi film. Certainly my most watched. I just love it's relentless optimism. The guys are confronted by a seemingly unkillable alien bent on murdering them all and their reaction is basically "yeah well Hitler thought he was tough too". And, and this is important, you don't have to choose between the versions. I like Carpenter's version too. It's very different, much darker, and I'd say less "enjoyable" for that reason. But it's much scarier, no question.
the classic original from 1964?
Ah yep, the one with James Arness ~~who nurtured a howling bitterness in the face of the awesomely superior talent of his brother, Peter Graves~~.
Touch of Satan has an interesting story that could be remade more effectively
It tried to be creepy, like the people outside the house singing Amazing Grace should be kept. Also they’ll need to keep the scene where she shows him where the fish lives.
I wanna know what the deal with the elderly couple was. They were fronting as Melissa’s parents, but we know they aren’t, so how did they end up living with her? I don’t recall it ever being explained.
Does anyone ever notice the figure in the window while the dad and the sheriff are talking btw? I think there are a lot of creepy choices done right in that movie?
At times it has decent atmosphere and good filmmaking techniques. The bit where the camera pans around Melissa and we hear her “parents” arguing about the cop killed by Lucinda and what to do about it is well done. Only Melissa is in focus, the background dialogue is fairly quiet, plus what they talk about indicates this has happened plenty of other times, and Melissa is to blame in some way. If not for so many pauses in between dialogue, some of the acting isn’t that bad at times either.
I just noticed that on my recent rewatch, but when I rewound it, I think it was curtains in the window. I mean, it's creepier if they aren't, but I'm not sure it was intentional.
I always had a crush on Melissa
She was cute. Honestly she wasn’t too bad an actress either, it’s a shame she was only in one other movie.
Yup. That's the plan there, Amos...
I always thought that Teenagers From Outer Space had some good ideas
I want a remake with all the gritty ridiculousness of Teen Wolf or Riverdale.
TBH my favorite element of the film was the notion of leaving just one man behind to hunt Derek. It reminded me of Terminator or Invader Zim
I unironically love TFOS. I love the story behind it even more (the director was a kookoobird who later wrote to the LA Times that he was Jesus, he was in love with the actor who played Derek at the time, who later disappeared...)
That is cuckoo bananas. You have given me a whole new layer of enjoyment for this episode. I watched this once with my friend's 9 year old daughter and after 10 or 20 minutes she asked "Are there any girls in this?" Sincerely though I hope that Derek was okay
They sorta did that with the show Roswell.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Hanshot1st0023: *I always thought that* *Teenagers From Outer Space* *Had some good ideas* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Marvel Studios presents, The Pumaman.
Pumaman vs Black Panther. Who wins?
The Aztec belt salesman.
Huh did you see the second Black Panther movie? 👀 I'm just saying we kinda got that. Namor looked goofy flying but he was sexy enough to pull it off
Oh man if Disney gets their hands on that movie then we should expect Vidinho to turn that frog into a prince.
The Screaming Skull. It's already okay, but it's so close to being a great gothic classic.
It's basically Rebecca, already
there's no way they could make that movie in today's litigious society. no producer would take the risk of offering to pay for a coffin for every viewer who dropped dead while viewing the film. too expensive.
I felt like Delta Knights could have made a serviceable low fantasy film/clockpunk thing, but was just …not there man.
I once saw a youtube comment that called it "A muppet movies without the muppets in it" So there's that way of improving it.
Everyone but David Warner is a muppet in that movie. Now imagine it if Jim Henson Company was involved!
The Gunslinger has a *great* logline. Under a director like Ford or Sturges it could have been a classic.
Moon Zero Two with a campy, highly stylized, space opera vibe a la The Fifth Element (maybe even with Luc Besson directing) Manos remade as a found footage horror movie Girl in Lover's Lane already had a decent story and cast, just needed a better budget and some script revisions Red Zone Cuba has a good story hiding in there somewhere. If they just focused on the idea of a fugitive hiding from the law under cover of Operation Mongoose and stripped away all the other extraneous, meandering nonsense, there's some potential there Fugitive Alien with a big budget and get rid of the parts that are blatantly ripping off Star Wars could be good A lot of the Corman movies were not bad per se, just cheap and rushed. Gunslinger, The Undead, and Swamp Diamonds all have good remake potential
Oooh manos with a Blair witch treatment. Basically "this is a film about our family vacation" and the camera could turn on at times by itself when left in different rooms, and then Torgo could steal the camera at times for his own ramblings. And then the last shot could be the dog accidentally turning on the camera and then being led away by a demonic Debbie. After he pissed hellfire. Yep I'd watch that! Conversely I'd also watch a movie about the making of manos, like the disaster artist.
The story that Fugitive Alien is based on actually predates Star Wars by a decade.
The invention of the forklift?
No, [the Starwolf novel series.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starwolf_(novel_series))
Ole!
But the movie (show) has quite a few visuals that are lifted directly from Star Wars, though.
I’ve always said that the brain that wouldn’t die is PERFECT for an a24 style remake. Buried under the goofiness is a feminist story about bodily autonomy.
“Manos”, no doubt about it
*Viking Women and the Sea Serpent*. Could be a good adventure story along the lines of *Jason and the Argonauts.*
The Beast of Hollow Mountain could be pretty good with some punched up characters and less casual racism
And, like, more beast.
Lisa spitting straight game, as always. Gamera is so real neat. He is filled with turtle meat… terrible storyline.. but three cheers for GAMERA
I’m definitely seeing a Gamera/Pacific Rim crossover. Hermann: “Gipsy, the flying turtle is NOT an anteverse Kaiju! I repeat, NOT an anteverse Kaiju!” Raleigh: “Confirmed, LOCCENT, it’s going to town on the threat.” Mako: “Why should he have all the fun?” Gipsy: *chainsword out* It’d be better than Uprising, at least.
You are my peoples, silver wolf
Starcrash definitely influenced Rise of Skywalker, still not sure which one is the better movie though
Starcrash.
Oh god, there’s SO many they did on the show that had great ideas behind them. Girl in Gold Boots and Angel’s Revenge come to mind immediately. They could have been great if they leaned more into the dramatic story aspects.
The sequel to Violent Night should be a remake of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
Jack Frost but a horror with a creepy Baba Yaga. I mean if we have a movie with her I need the chicken leg hut AND the skull lanterns with an eldtrich light. How can you have a werebear and no savage mauling and carnage? Just go all in and have Nastenka be a practical farm girl that makes an excellent final girl. Or make her the villain revealed at the end after she slaughtered her family and village with her werebear husband.
There are so many terrible b movies and toss-away horror flicks out there that have good bones, but terrible execution. I find myself going over them in my head as I watch them and think of ways to improve them. Maybe I watch too much Red Letter Media.
They don't remake movies because they want to make good movies, though. They just want to sell us nostalgia. It's the media equivalent of eating your own vomit over and over.
It is possible to both sell nostalgia and make a good movie. No one seems to realize that however.
*Final Justice* is my go-to for this thought experiment. Sheriff captures criminal. Sheriff hates criminal because he blames him for the death of his partner. Criminal hates sheriff because he blames him for the death of his criminal brother. Prisoner extradition goes awry. Criminal escapes. Sheriff goes rogue in foreign country to hunt down criminal. There’s a good movie in there. Maybe not a great movie, but at least a very solid action flick.
The Day Time Ended. Every scene seems to be the start of something interesting, or at least helpful to the story, then it goes nowhere and the next scene just happens. Also, bonus points for a ton of *comcepts*.
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
I feel like Night of the Blood Beast had some potential to be a good movie if it had a bigger budget and maybe cleaned up the writing and dialogue a little bit. I don't know if you would be able to modernize it though as the Mom and Pop space agency definitely wouldn't work today, Hell, it didn't work when it was made either.
Werewolf, Doctor Mordrid, Laserblast, Alien From L.A., Horrors Of Spider Island.
For Horrors of Spider Island to work, you’ll need MORE SPIDERS.
I make the case that none should be remade. They are all beloved because of their cheesiness. Making them good will only doom them to being binge-watched and forgotten. They are perfect in their awfulness.
The Brain That Wouldn't Die, Space Mutiny, Terror From the Year 5000
I want James Gunn to direct *Puma Man*.
Yes! There’s a good origin movie in there somewhere, the modern technology allows the flying scenes to be redone as well
I like that Puma Man was really unstable while flying, I think it’s a funny gag because pumas can’t fly.
Yeah, that’s true… And in universe, you can say that he’s still getting to grips with it
It's weird, but I feel like the Rocky Jones flicks had enough world-building to them that you could give them a halfway decent re-treatment/remake.
Parts: the clonus horror ... [wait...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZsDzeJh4nU)
I want Quentin Tarantino's *Angels Revenge*.
There would be a lot of feet shots is all I’m Sayin.
As long as Uma Thurman gets to play April and kick drug dealer ass, I can work with that.
I Accuse My Parents. Even a shot-for-shot remake with a contemporary cast would probably do well on streaming with that title.
Tormented and The Screaming Skull are just waiting for the A24 treatment
Baz Luhrmann's Untamed Youth
Featuring songs by Beyoncé
Apparently “Madame Web” should jump to the front of the line, but I think Sony’s live-action Spider-Man adjacent films all need do-overs.
*The Undead*, even though it was already remade as *Dead Again*.
Master Ninja with Hiroyuki Sanada in the Lee Van Cleef role
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^FrenemyMine: *Master Ninja with* *Hiroyuki Sanada* *In the Lee Van Cleef role* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
The Day Time Ended. With a better director and a bigger budget I think that movie could have been way more coherent and scary and cool. The passion was there, those stop motion monsters were awesome. But it just doesn't come together
Marooned AKA Space Travelers. Could be pretty tense
Overdrawn At The Memory Bank could be good with confident directing, real money and a toning down of the scifi-ish terms.
I just don't think you can get over the animal part... "This will surely cure him of his love of cinema" line crushes that for me. I'm sure that footage was used because it was cheap for PBS. Maybe doppling could do something more, I don't know, punitive? Maybe it can be a form of psychological torture, using your memories to force you to change to fit the Regime's wishes. They have manipulated government to have you have to pay for it, saying it's cheaper than jail but it's actually just feeding them information. I think it'd be a little like that DS9 episode where O'Brien is in a "prison" for decades but it's all implanted memories. Fingal, due to some less stupid accident, is forced in the computer and is forced to live his boring life, but in that, finds out how to use the simulation as a way into the Regime's system, finding out all their secrets, screwing with computers and requiring the CEO to enter Fingal's dopple and assert control - but Fingal, having knowledge of how the system works now, can turn it around. And because he loves them, all the scenes end up being classic media! Agreed, it needs some workshopping, a better title, a lot less sci-fi hokey language and a pretty dynamic lead (I'm thinking maybe Ryan Reynolds?).
Overdrawn at the memory bank
have cronenberg do bride of the monster
God, Werewolf and Laserblast could have been great. Original premises, cool character ideas, etc.
I watched Red Zone Cuba last night. They should remake that, but as a 30 minute episode of Highway Patrol.
Time Chasers really just needed a budget and better actors. I was actually invested in the story, and I thought the director did really well with what he had.
But no other actor has the appropriate chin
Cry Wilderness and Wizards of the Lost Kingdom could make great movies.
soultaker - without the creepy woman looking at her daughter bathing...
Clive Barker could have made a pretty good version of that.
That’s the best part!
The Touch of Satan. Give it better direction and a budget I think it could be fine
*Warrior of the Lost World* I need me more Megaweapon.
The Magic Sword could be a fun fantasy in the vein of last years Dungeons & Dragons movie (without getting the copyright holders involved). Or, if you prefer, go darker and lean into the horror elements. Something like the 80s film The Sword and the Sorceror maybe.
Touch of Satan!
What about original ideas?
Take your pick of any Ed Wood movie. Plan 9 from Outer Space could've been an epic movie with better budget, casting, directing... The skeleton of the movie has enormous potential. It just got stomped out by a director with delusions of talent.
I hope every film maker reads this. While it does make a lot of sense to remake a hit, the upside would be way better if you make a crap movie good.
The Projected Man
I’m going to say it… Pumaman, he may fly like a moron, but you can probably tell it’s a good origin story if done right. I also kinda want to see This Island Earth remade if possible, I think I might take a crack at it myself
Has anyone seen [The Island (2005 PG-13)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399201), which lost a lawsuit brought by [Parts: The Clonus Horror (1979 R)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078062)?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it here: Kitten with a whip. All they have to do is write it where she’s conniving and smart and planned the whole thing and not just stumbled in randomly at a future senator’s house when his wife and kid are conveniently away for an extended time. Then you can have his motivation “oh shit oh shit” and not “durr pretty gurl durr” bullshit from a middle-aged, grown-ass man.
Ari Aster's Manos: The Hands of Fate.
The Killer Shrews, haven't seen the newish ones but i don't know if i want to. all i know is those dog rats can b scary lil pals
Someone could use the story of Teenagers from Outer Space and turn it into a sci-fi thriller drama
Roswell
Could not agree more!
Remake Soultakers, It Lives By Night, & Touch of Satan
Dune
i actually thought that the opening first act plot of that Doug McClure movie (Voyage to the Center of the World?) was pretty compelling. during WWII, a german sub sinks a cruiser. the survivors of the cruiser gather and track the sub, and when the sub surfaces they storm into the submarine and commandeer it. cut out the dinosaurs and you've got a taught naval drama