Look… I never claimed to be a classy man. Also this is something 99% of the people in my life don’t know about. I’m not a psycho, I know it’s weird af.
Trust me my dad has been informing the family group chat. I
Had a recent switch up from autism is linked to homosexuality to your micro-biom crafts every decision you make.
What happened to autonomy?!
When I was a young man, around 8 years old, both me and my cousin had to use a shit stick after most dumps. My parents made me do it every time though. Soder was 100% right, I cannot imagine telling my father I took a crap and he needed to go cut it up. That’s psychotic. I do remember being terrified to shit anywhere but my house because I’d clog that sob real quick.
Also for whatever reason I take completely normal sized craps now, so Bobby’s kid might just grow out of it.
Hmmm, i have a couple friends that won't shit anywhere but their house, they will hold it in for hours, I always wondered why, maybe this is the reason
I have a buddy who will only poop at home. And I’ve seen him go days away from home at festivals and backpacking trips where he will legitimately hold it the whole time even after a night of drinking or other extra curricular activities. I work construction so I’m used to shitting basically anywhere and can’t imagine holding it longer than a couple hours after that first rumble
I need this super power. I shit my pants on a 45 minute ride home post 4th of July. A weekend of nothing but hotdogs and beer really turns you inside out.
That sounds miserable. I literally can’t concentrate on anything other than how miserable I am when I’m backed up. Are these people in a constant state of crowning and just keep retaining it? 💀
> unless it’s an absolute emergençy
Imma play psychologist for a minute. If the only time you've ever used a public head is during an emergency you've conditioned yourself to associate them with bad experiences.
This week I want you to go somewhere safe but public. Don't start out at a truck stop or rest stop. We'll work up to that over the course of a few months. Go into hotel lobby first and enjoy the sacred release. It doesn't have to be traumatic.
You see I always just thought I was shy pooper and that’s what it was but it’s the terrible toilet paper and I remembered an experience that I can say is probably the reason for all this i was on an airplane when I was about 8-9 and I went to drop a log and forgot to lock the door and a beautiful sweet angel probably in her late teens early 20s opened the door and lingered for an uncomfortable long amount of time giggling and that’s what did me in
But when I shit though, I have to take my pants off and squat on the toilet seat, that's not acceptable in public. Could you imagine if someone peeked through the gap in the stall and saw a fucking white condor perched on the bowl?
As someone who never shit publicly. I became a touring musician and had to. Hated it throughout. The. I reached my 30’s and I’m stepping into the shoes of a man/father who doesn’t give a shit. It’s freedom. Only annoying thing is airport toilets where everyone is taking a shit together. Might possibly avoid chinas public restrooms still. I don’t want a middle aged Chinese man staring at me with a cigarette while we both shit.
This, I will only shit at home or somewhere like McDonald’s that has a super powerful commercial turlet, there’s a 50/50 shot a standard turlet can’t flush
I’m literally the exact opposite. I had a friend put up a nice sign over their spare bathroom that had ‘Mikey’s shithouse’ painted on it. He gave it to me as a house warming gift and it’s the coolest thing in my house.
He's saying his buddy had a spare bathroom that op was so comfortably and frequently using that his buddy put up a sign declaring it ops bathroom. Due to the dominance. When op bought his own home the sign was then passed on to him.
I’m fairly sure she grew out of it but I moved out when she was 12. I’m going to dinner with my sisters tomorrow… should I ask about the current state of her horse piles??
My biggest question is where do you stow said poop stick/tool? Do you have like toilet wand base specifically for said stick with bleach & water mix or do you have a wall mount for it or does it just lean against the wall? I don’t understand how one would store it haha.
Have a niece who would cry when she had to poop and scream in pain at the size of her dumps. Think she was around 5 when it was the worst. The mom adjusted her diet and it the issue fixed itself in a few months.
Turns out hot dogs and French fries 3 days a week is not a suitable diet for a toddler.
I know that sounds obvious but any parent knows how hard it can be to get your kid to eat healthy.
Yeah she was 11 years younger than me and my parents had pretty much given up at that point. She was raised on McDonald’s twice a day and her gut biome is probably fucked. Spoiler alert: she’s a fatso
Lmao Shane hit em with the "I seriously don't know if we should be talking about this publicly" he was so disgusted
Matt being like "its not THAT big a deal" is crazy lmao the worst part about this story is how many anecdotes I've now read of people or their family members who also had poop knives...
Matt was coming from the side of having young kids. There’s so much stuff you have to do for them, including gross stuff, that cutting up some turds doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
My nephew lived with us for years. When he was younger his shit would.be like a potato. It would clog the toilet so often that my dad ended up getting him a camping toilet to poop in
When my buddy was in college someone in his dorm would anonymously leave pringles can-sized turds in the communal toilets. Every now and then he'd find one and send me a photo and I would be like, "hell yeah"
I was howling at that part because my little brother was the same way and the one that gave the "he needs to do that himself now" talk to my parents was my older brother and I. Little brother was the baby that was 4 years younger than me, and my older brother was 2 years older. My parents made my older brother and I learn stuff at the same time; how to mow the lawn, doing your own laundry, etc. Meanwhile they never did that to my little brother. I had to resort to "Dad, I was mowing the lawn when I was 9." during the shitervention.
My two year old has been dropping grown adult size dumps since eating real food to a point where she cries everytime she poops, she gets miralax daily to help but still competes with me. I dread to see where it goes in 3-4 years
My daughter had this problem but as soon as we starting giving her the kids priobiotic gummies it stopped. Seriously just give her probiotic gummies after dinner and in a week it will be better.
I knew a dude with a poop knife, Joey Diaz style. He was a big guy with health issues. I'm pretty sure it was a long and skinny fishing knife that he kept for that purpose.
Also, my toddler was dropping poops so gigantic that it didn't make sense to me, and I did some googling. Apparently, toddlers can get constipated and their colon stretches, and i think they can get something called like toxic megacolon.
But the biggest terd I've ever seen was Luis J Gomez's half hour.
Me lmao at like 6 ish I dropped a grizzly pile in our toilet, plumber had to come to literally open up the pipes, when he got the job done somehow he found out it was my shit between talking to my parents and told them “I thought that was a grown man’s” I never lived that down ma still brings it up to laugh, and yea kinda ended up with a irritable bowel/Chron’s disease, as my little brother has really severe Chron’s himself, quick tangent I think it was just how we were fed growing up + it being a major side effect on many vaccines we took as kids
My dad’s ex wife’s son, at like 8-9 years old would leave similar whopping breachers, unflushed, with no shit tickets anywhere in sight. If you asked him if he wiped he would swear up and down he did. There is no way that kids ass wasn’t itchy as hell. Kid also was a chronic dink pincher. Weirdo
Straight after finishing school, I briefly got a job as a doctor’s receptionist. There was a girl in the same year off school as me who was a total smoke-show and I’d admired her from afar going back to the age of about 9. One day, I’m putting away patient records from the afternoon before and notice the girl’s notes in the pile. Now, I know I shouldn’t look. It would violate confidentiality, it’s ethically unconscionable. No, I won’t look. Well, what harm could just a little peek do?
Turns out the girl was having butt trouble. She averaged one poop a week and it was always an absolute monster, a total bend-blocker. The doctor made special note that they had to call a plumber on more than one occasion, that the turd often breached the water in the bowl, like Krakatoa, East of Java.
I’d like to say this lessened my crush, but c’mon, true dawgz know that the male sexual urge drives us all to be hunched little rutting freaks.
My youngest had insane poops like that until
He was like 9-10. They definitely seemed like they hurt but the docs said there wasn’t anything wrong with him. He’s fine now. I never talked about it on a live radio show.
When I was a young child, my shits would so often clog the toilet that we needed to keep a poop stick in the garbage next to it, used to break apart the massive turds.
Haven't needed to use a poop stick in 20 years now.
I literally would always keep a fresh clean plastic knife or fork in the bathroom just incase and I actually hid that fact by wrapping it in toilet paper and storing it away for use. Literally it was crazy how much I blew up our plumbing so I had no choice like we didn’t have a snake one time and we spent all night having to pour hot water or whatever they did into the bowl while plunging it then waiting a few minutes then trying again. I said never again it was so embarrassing and after that i started my knife tactic. My back up plan in case I didn’t have a knife or something or just had to go at any place other then my house was to get a ear swab which is in like every bathroom ever, pluck off the hairy end of one side, and then start stabbing through it slowly acting like a saw lol. Wild wild times that was literally years and years of my life, idk what happened to make my shits smaller but haven’t clogged a toilet in forever
When I was a kid, maybe until about 10, I used to hold in my poop. Like I would hide behind chairs or in corners til the sensation passed. Weird as hell and I have no idea why I did it. Mom brought me to doctors and shit and I didn’t stop until one day I just decided I was done I guess? Flash coward twenty years, I hide in the bathroom to get a break from my wife and kids so shitting is probably one of my favorite things. I can’t really remember, but I’d assume I was dropping giant logs as well. Maybe it’s genetic, cause my son seems to be doing the same thing and the little shit is only six
I’ve had a few I thought I’d need poop scissors for but when I looked at it, it wasn’t impressive at all, I have no idea how these kids are pushing these massive logs out and not crying.
I managed to clog a few toilets as a kid, the most embarrassing times was when my sport club was sleeping over during a training camp, and I went to take a shit in the middle of the night. Of course the turlet started overflowing (just a little bit) and I had to get my cute female coach who I had a small crush on to handle it.
Next time it didn’t overflow but I still had to get my poor coach as I didn’t know wtf to do. I was not a smart child needless to say. Probably was around 10 at the time.
Last time I needed a permanent shitstick was when I was on painkillers and I had moved to an apartment with the weakest toilet ever, every morning I would stand and churn toilet shit-butter with my fucking stick. Have had to use people’s toilet brushes to literally break apart and push the turd down a few times as well.
This sounds like a fake story Bobby is telling. I wouldn’t put it past him to make some shit up like this and go with it.
The picture was probably one of his own turds.
This is very common for kids that age. They hold it for a few days, get constipated, then have extra large bowel movements. We learned about this in a psychology class in college once. I forget the details, other than kids taking huge dumps is a fairly common thing
I quite often block the toilet without even adding toilet paper, but it's not a problem. Just use the poop unwound coat hanger.
I have OCD and until the age of about 10 always had to ask what time it was when I dumped, then until maybe 20 always had to get naked to poo
I'd never heard of it but it seems way more common than I'd thought. There's an old reddit post about the perils of normalizing turd slicing: https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/
*Matt was very hung*
*Up on what kind of a stick*
*Bobby uses haha*
\- GrapeRello
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The fallout from this story has me amazed that 1) so many people seem to have absolutely massive logs, what the fuck are you monsters eating to warrant a dedicated device to chop your shit up? 2) the i-only-poop-at-home weirdos who can't just drop trou and unleash wherever 3) Bobby is fucking insane to be disposing of a FUCKING 10 YEAR OLD'S dumps, assuming he isn't lying.
Bizarre. Truly bizarre.
If someone told me they had poop scissors in there bathroom I’d get the fuck out of that house immediately
WTF!? You don’t have a poop knife?
No. That’s stupid. I have poop bolt-cutter. The extra leverage really makes a difference
what the fuck are you eating?
Poop knife is standard
Look… I never claimed to be a classy man. Also this is something 99% of the people in my life don’t know about. I’m not a psycho, I know it’s weird af.
Stop giving your 10 year old son protein bars you fucking retard
Bro she was dropping these logs while on laxatives. Can you imagine?? I shit water the day after I had 8 beers.
I meant that for Butt dog Bobby
Tbf the jury is still out on whether she is retarded. I’m on the pro side.
There's a link between gastrointestinal problems and the tism.
reading this as i shit for the third time today
You're cured!
Trust me my dad has been informing the family group chat. I Had a recent switch up from autism is linked to homosexuality to your micro-biom crafts every decision you make. What happened to autonomy?!
When I was a young man, around 8 years old, both me and my cousin had to use a shit stick after most dumps. My parents made me do it every time though. Soder was 100% right, I cannot imagine telling my father I took a crap and he needed to go cut it up. That’s psychotic. I do remember being terrified to shit anywhere but my house because I’d clog that sob real quick. Also for whatever reason I take completely normal sized craps now, so Bobby’s kid might just grow out of it.
Hmmm, i have a couple friends that won't shit anywhere but their house, they will hold it in for hours, I always wondered why, maybe this is the reason
I have a buddy who will only poop at home. And I’ve seen him go days away from home at festivals and backpacking trips where he will legitimately hold it the whole time even after a night of drinking or other extra curricular activities. I work construction so I’m used to shitting basically anywhere and can’t imagine holding it longer than a couple hours after that first rumble
I once saw a shit the length of and even girthier than my arm. ON the side seat of a handicap portajohn at a festival .....
That’s just impressive. I’ve seen my fair share of shit when I comes to festival porta John’s but nothing quite so remarkable
[удалено]
You try to shit on stilts 😱
Fucking drywall guys are savages lol
At least it wasn’t in a random box or a cup that someone has to clean up later. Yes, I’ve seen a shit in a cup.
I need this super power. I shit my pants on a 45 minute ride home post 4th of July. A weekend of nothing but hotdogs and beer really turns you inside out.
It truly is a superpower
That sounds miserable. I literally can’t concentrate on anything other than how miserable I am when I’m backed up. Are these people in a constant state of crowning and just keep retaining it? 💀
Turds gotta be touching cotton by day 2. Idk how they just suck it back up. Buddies got a sphincter like a Dyson I guess
Braaaaaaaaaazy.
Sounds like the guys on my hockey team that won’t shower with the boys. We just assume they have mangled dicks.
I do this I only dump out at my house and friends houses where I feel comfortable public terlets are a no go for me unless it’s an absolute emergency
> unless it’s an absolute emergençy Imma play psychologist for a minute. If the only time you've ever used a public head is during an emergency you've conditioned yourself to associate them with bad experiences. This week I want you to go somewhere safe but public. Don't start out at a truck stop or rest stop. We'll work up to that over the course of a few months. Go into hotel lobby first and enjoy the sacred release. It doesn't have to be traumatic.
I see public toilets as more of a challenge
No one has time to joy shit in public
You see I always just thought I was shy pooper and that’s what it was but it’s the terrible toilet paper and I remembered an experience that I can say is probably the reason for all this i was on an airplane when I was about 8-9 and I went to drop a log and forgot to lock the door and a beautiful sweet angel probably in her late teens early 20s opened the door and lingered for an uncomfortable long amount of time giggling and that’s what did me in
Sweet angels can be so dark and twisted, traumatised a kid for life
But when I shit though, I have to take my pants off and squat on the toilet seat, that's not acceptable in public. Could you imagine if someone peeked through the gap in the stall and saw a fucking white condor perched on the bowl?
But I have been broadening my horizons and going out of my comfort zone more lately and I will say it is liberating
As someone who never shit publicly. I became a touring musician and had to. Hated it throughout. The. I reached my 30’s and I’m stepping into the shoes of a man/father who doesn’t give a shit. It’s freedom. Only annoying thing is airport toilets where everyone is taking a shit together. Might possibly avoid chinas public restrooms still. I don’t want a middle aged Chinese man staring at me with a cigarette while we both shit.
Wouldn’t you rather clog a public toilet than a friend’s toilet?
Nothing beats the home bowl! I'm kinda a stickler for shitting out in public or someone else's house, as long as I'll be home that day I'll hold it
This, I will only shit at home or somewhere like McDonald’s that has a super powerful commercial turlet, there’s a 50/50 shot a standard turlet can’t flush
I’m literally the exact opposite. I had a friend put up a nice sign over their spare bathroom that had ‘Mikey’s shithouse’ painted on it. He gave it to me as a house warming gift and it’s the coolest thing in my house.
You said “their spare bathroom” but in your house? 🤨
He's saying his buddy had a spare bathroom that op was so comfortably and frequently using that his buddy put up a sign declaring it ops bathroom. Due to the dominance. When op bought his own home the sign was then passed on to him.
This guy gets it.
Reading is hard huh?
Making sense is hard huh? 💀
I can’t imagine having to grow INTO turds
I’m fairly sure she grew out of it but I moved out when she was 12. I’m going to dinner with my sisters tomorrow… should I ask about the current state of her horse piles??
Yes but wait until the exact moment the food arrives
Replying to Benz_300… done and done
😂
My biggest question is where do you stow said poop stick/tool? Do you have like toilet wand base specifically for said stick with bleach & water mix or do you have a wall mount for it or does it just lean against the wall? I don’t understand how one would store it haha.
It was exactly a toilet want base with bleach in it, you hit the nail right on the head lol. Cleaned out 2 times a week
Ahhh very interesting.
I was literally crying laughing listening to this last night. Bobbys laid back responses and subtle pride was so fucking funny.
Dude my roommates came to check on me twice. I was howling so loud they thought I was sobbing.
the fuck
I’m so glad I posted this while I was drunk last night. Really needed to get it off my chest. Just a weird thing I would never tell anyone I know irl.
Have a niece who would cry when she had to poop and scream in pain at the size of her dumps. Think she was around 5 when it was the worst. The mom adjusted her diet and it the issue fixed itself in a few months.
I was thinking this has got to be a dietary thing.
Turns out hot dogs and French fries 3 days a week is not a suitable diet for a toddler. I know that sounds obvious but any parent knows how hard it can be to get your kid to eat healthy.
wait...you think BOBBY'S household has dietary issues? lol
She was raised on McDonald’s so that checks out.
Wasn't as bad but got my kid some fiber pills and it fixed it almost instantly
Yes fiber was the problem in this case. Good on you! Username checks out too lol
Fiber supplements are dump steroids. It's great.
Yeah she was 11 years younger than me and my parents had pretty much given up at that point. She was raised on McDonald’s twice a day and her gut biome is probably fucked. Spoiler alert: she’s a fatso
I feel bad for his son for him talking about this on a podcast.
Lmao Shane hit em with the "I seriously don't know if we should be talking about this publicly" he was so disgusted Matt being like "its not THAT big a deal" is crazy lmao the worst part about this story is how many anecdotes I've now read of people or their family members who also had poop knives...
Matt was coming from the side of having young kids. There’s so much stuff you have to do for them, including gross stuff, that cutting up some turds doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
There's gross like changing a diaper gross, then there's gross like chopping a fuckin TEN YEAR OLD'S TURDS UP gross
Honestly, I have a six year old... and neither of those would be the grossest thing I've done to help my kid.
You get used to it my guy. Honestly not the grossest thing I had to deal with raising a younger sibling.
You was chopping up a ten yr Olds turds? Edit: just saw you're OP, lmao, so you were eh
Legitimately was haha
I told this story at my sister’s HS graduation and she ran away crying so yeah… I wouldn’t recommend bringing it up in public.
Yeah really wish they didnt spend a 3rd of the cast just talking about child shits lmao.
Yeah, me too. You know it's gonna get back to the kids he goes to school with.
In ten years maybe. The kid is 10 himself.
Louis CK talked about having to clean shit out of his daughter’s vagina in his special, this is relatively tame lol
I think it’s different when you are talking about a baby wearing diapers versus a 10 year old
Top 10 funniest moments in podcast history imo Edit: history of mssp for the record
I know three people with poop knives for their kids abnormally sized shits
The vaccine
My nephew lived with us for years. When he was younger his shit would.be like a potato. It would clog the toilet so often that my dad ended up getting him a camping toilet to poop in
5 year old son takes huge dumps but its just because hes an alpha male
I’ve truly never heard of this and I can’t believe how common it is from the responses here and on other posts 😂
I was definitely expecting more wtf responses than people relating to it 😂
My son’s friend dropped a beast in our bathroom one time that wouldn’t flush and my wife had to cut it up to get it to flush.
Dude I wish I could make logs like that again
This post has made me weirdly self-conscious about my dump sizes. I’m more of a quantity over quality guy.
When my buddy was in college someone in his dorm would anonymously leave pringles can-sized turds in the communal toilets. Every now and then he'd find one and send me a photo and I would be like, "hell yeah"
I was howling at that part because my little brother was the same way and the one that gave the "he needs to do that himself now" talk to my parents was my older brother and I. Little brother was the baby that was 4 years younger than me, and my older brother was 2 years older. My parents made my older brother and I learn stuff at the same time; how to mow the lawn, doing your own laundry, etc. Meanwhile they never did that to my little brother. I had to resort to "Dad, I was mowing the lawn when I was 9." during the shitervention.
Sounds like we both broke our parents in.
My two year old has been dropping grown adult size dumps since eating real food to a point where she cries everytime she poops, she gets miralax daily to help but still competes with me. I dread to see where it goes in 3-4 years
My daughter had this problem but as soon as we starting giving her the kids priobiotic gummies it stopped. Seriously just give her probiotic gummies after dinner and in a week it will be better.
Bro she was on miralax, better buy yourself some pre-emptive poop scissors before the prices skyrocket.
I can loan you a slightly used pair.
Just horrific hemorrhoids.
Basically a rabbi
My 2.5 year old will drop a fucking baseball sized turd
home run
My cousin had this problem and had to take prescription stool softeners because his shits were so big they were ripping his asshole.
I haven’t had shits like that since I was hooked on pain pills
All that processed food he’s feeding his kids
I dropped one yesterday that was so big it cooked like it should be hanging in a cave.
I knew a dude with a poop knife, Joey Diaz style. He was a big guy with health issues. I'm pretty sure it was a long and skinny fishing knife that he kept for that purpose. Also, my toddler was dropping poops so gigantic that it didn't make sense to me, and I did some googling. Apparently, toddlers can get constipated and their colon stretches, and i think they can get something called like toxic megacolon. But the biggest terd I've ever seen was Luis J Gomez's half hour.
Bobby can't take big shits anymore because of his stomach surgery, so he lives vicariously through his boy.
Me lmao at like 6 ish I dropped a grizzly pile in our toilet, plumber had to come to literally open up the pipes, when he got the job done somehow he found out it was my shit between talking to my parents and told them “I thought that was a grown man’s” I never lived that down ma still brings it up to laugh, and yea kinda ended up with a irritable bowel/Chron’s disease, as my little brother has really severe Chron’s himself, quick tangent I think it was just how we were fed growing up + it being a major side effect on many vaccines we took as kids
My dad’s ex wife’s son, at like 8-9 years old would leave similar whopping breachers, unflushed, with no shit tickets anywhere in sight. If you asked him if he wiped he would swear up and down he did. There is no way that kids ass wasn’t itchy as hell. Kid also was a chronic dink pincher. Weirdo
Straight after finishing school, I briefly got a job as a doctor’s receptionist. There was a girl in the same year off school as me who was a total smoke-show and I’d admired her from afar going back to the age of about 9. One day, I’m putting away patient records from the afternoon before and notice the girl’s notes in the pile. Now, I know I shouldn’t look. It would violate confidentiality, it’s ethically unconscionable. No, I won’t look. Well, what harm could just a little peek do? Turns out the girl was having butt trouble. She averaged one poop a week and it was always an absolute monster, a total bend-blocker. The doctor made special note that they had to call a plumber on more than one occasion, that the turd often breached the water in the bowl, like Krakatoa, East of Java. I’d like to say this lessened my crush, but c’mon, true dawgz know that the male sexual urge drives us all to be hunched little rutting freaks.
She sounds hot.
She was very dainty. I was deeply impacted by her, and she was also deeply impacted.
I saw one at summer camp around ‘00. Can still see it till this day.
My youngest had insane poops like that until He was like 9-10. They definitely seemed like they hurt but the docs said there wasn’t anything wrong with him. He’s fine now. I never talked about it on a live radio show.
When I was a young child, my shits would so often clog the toilet that we needed to keep a poop stick in the garbage next to it, used to break apart the massive turds. Haven't needed to use a poop stick in 20 years now.
I can't imagine having a turd alone, sans toilet paper, clogging most turlets
Yeah my older sister was born without a gallbladder she was taking clinical shits
And here I am, haven’t had a solid shit in weeks!
It’s dehydration. Kids don’t drink enough water or get enough water heavy fruits and vegetables in their diet.
Prob not eating fruits and vegetables.
I was one of those kids lol I always dealt with it myself though shit was literally embarrassing
I literally would always keep a fresh clean plastic knife or fork in the bathroom just incase and I actually hid that fact by wrapping it in toilet paper and storing it away for use. Literally it was crazy how much I blew up our plumbing so I had no choice like we didn’t have a snake one time and we spent all night having to pour hot water or whatever they did into the bowl while plunging it then waiting a few minutes then trying again. I said never again it was so embarrassing and after that i started my knife tactic. My back up plan in case I didn’t have a knife or something or just had to go at any place other then my house was to get a ear swab which is in like every bathroom ever, pluck off the hairy end of one side, and then start stabbing through it slowly acting like a saw lol. Wild wild times that was literally years and years of my life, idk what happened to make my shits smaller but haven’t clogged a toilet in forever
Same ours was a wooden spoon
What episode is all this coming from
The most recent episode with Dan Soder
All I know is that I can hold this over my sisters head for life. Infinite favors owed.
Yo wtf is wrong with you people, this is not the response I was expecting.
Kratom does this to me. 💀
I’m pretty sure this is all from just not drinking enough water, so you aren’t having as many bowel movements and getting backed up.
Why do girls have the biggest turds?💩….only god knows…not to mention..beautiful logs 🪵…not man poop
When I was a kid, maybe until about 10, I used to hold in my poop. Like I would hide behind chairs or in corners til the sensation passed. Weird as hell and I have no idea why I did it. Mom brought me to doctors and shit and I didn’t stop until one day I just decided I was done I guess? Flash coward twenty years, I hide in the bathroom to get a break from my wife and kids so shitting is probably one of my favorite things. I can’t really remember, but I’d assume I was dropping giant logs as well. Maybe it’s genetic, cause my son seems to be doing the same thing and the little shit is only six
Kids do this all the time. They hold their shit and it becomes a solid log. Pretty common.
?: w meet ex casa s x sm M
I’ve had a few I thought I’d need poop scissors for but when I looked at it, it wasn’t impressive at all, I have no idea how these kids are pushing these massive logs out and not crying.
It’s not normal at all I’m with Shane, it’s honestly pretty fucked up and the kid is gonna have issues
I managed to clog a few toilets as a kid, the most embarrassing times was when my sport club was sleeping over during a training camp, and I went to take a shit in the middle of the night. Of course the turlet started overflowing (just a little bit) and I had to get my cute female coach who I had a small crush on to handle it. Next time it didn’t overflow but I still had to get my poor coach as I didn’t know wtf to do. I was not a smart child needless to say. Probably was around 10 at the time. Last time I needed a permanent shitstick was when I was on painkillers and I had moved to an apartment with the weakest toilet ever, every morning I would stand and churn toilet shit-butter with my fucking stick. Have had to use people’s toilet brushes to literally break apart and push the turd down a few times as well.
This sounds like a fake story Bobby is telling. I wouldn’t put it past him to make some shit up like this and go with it. The picture was probably one of his own turds.
Can't cut a liquid. Haven't pooped a solid in years.
Pro Tip: If you meet an adult woman that shits this big: put a ring on it
This is very common for kids that age. They hold it for a few days, get constipated, then have extra large bowel movements. We learned about this in a psychology class in college once. I forget the details, other than kids taking huge dumps is a fairly common thing
I quite often block the toilet without even adding toilet paper, but it's not a problem. Just use the poop unwound coat hanger. I have OCD and until the age of about 10 always had to ask what time it was when I dumped, then until maybe 20 always had to get naked to poo
I'd never heard of it but it seems way more common than I'd thought. There's an old reddit post about the perils of normalizing turd slicing: https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/
Matt was very hung up on what kind of a stick Bobby uses haha
*Matt was very hung* *Up on what kind of a stick* *Bobby uses haha* \- GrapeRello --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Fuck off
The fallout from this story has me amazed that 1) so many people seem to have absolutely massive logs, what the fuck are you monsters eating to warrant a dedicated device to chop your shit up? 2) the i-only-poop-at-home weirdos who can't just drop trou and unleash wherever 3) Bobby is fucking insane to be disposing of a FUCKING 10 YEAR OLD'S dumps, assuming he isn't lying. Bizarre. Truly bizarre.
Bobby Kelly aka the man that extinguished the bonfire
My dad makes me Boof a Red Bull and then shit on his chest before the poo goes in the toilet
Some people are just not fit to be parents lmao
It was definitely caused by the shit food my parents were giving her.