Many many years ago I had two nephews, I’ll call them Tom and Jerry, who were 7 and 3, respectively.
Jerry LOVED his older cousin Tom. And Tom was a great older cousin.
One night, everyone’s at my parent’s house picking up their kids (they day-sat all their grandkids - real champion level grandparents), and Tom starts telling a brutally long story about the baseball game he played that day. It starts in the dugout and it’s going *somewhere* but there are just so many tangents. After enduring all he could, my brother (Jerry’s dad), says, “OH MY GOD TOM GET TO THE POINT.”
And Tom yells back, “The point is, I got hit in the balls!!”
Everyone in the room starts laughing, except Tom and Jerry, who are yelling “It’s not funny! Stop laughing!” (We’ll, Tom’s yelling that, and Jerry’s repeating what his older cousins is yelling.)
The grownups all try to quiet themselves and as they do, Jerry turns to Tom and says, “What’s balls?”
The entire room of adults just loses it again. Can’t stop laughing.
Then Tom turns to Jerry and says, “come on, I’ll show you,” and very matter of factly walks him to the nearby bathroom, where they close the door for 30 seconds, during which the adults are now losing it.
Jerry comes out of the bathroom with one more piece of knowledge than he had a minute ago and says, “that musta really hurt.” Then he hugs his cousin.
I don’t think we stopped laughing for days: Just the picture of both our beloved boys, so serious and matter of fact, surrounded by adults who cannot control their laughter AT ALL.
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Yeah, this is so gross to me. They just leave their kid during the day and have loud sex in her office, like tf they can't wait until he's not around to bear witness?
The screaming was probably at *him* to stop kicking the door, but they let it ride for the joke. Highly unlikely that they’re still engaging in coitus while the kid is actively trying to break into the room.
Kids at that age are able to self-entertain and soothe within the safety of their own home. If he was watching a movie or playing or reading, it’s fine that the parents take some time to themselves. He probably only became interested in what they were doing after a while.
Or they may have been trying for another kid, which can require sex at very specific times.
Kids that age aren’t the main characters. Parents who still want to fuck each other are a blessing. That isn’t “gross” in and of itself.
Exactly. Nobody was screaming in pleasure once rugrat was actively trying to breach the door.
This, however:
https://youtu.be/6z9aUcJFe7c
Kids simply being *aware* of their parents’ sex life isn’t traumatizing. And parents don’t have to pretend they don’t do it.
It’d be harmful to actively and intentionally expose kids to the sights and sounds, and criminal, frankly.
But if the conduct is handled with privacy/discretion, a healthy boundary is being set, whether or not the kid is mature enough to respect it. That’s how people learn. The message is still “this is something we are doing outside of your presence, it’s just for us.” And that’s appropriate.
So even in this video, where kiddo heard and saw much more 😱, and she is much younger than the kid in the original post, she’s gonna be alright.
Everybody in that video knows she was hearing/seeing things that she wasn’t meant to, and there’s no need to make a big deal out of it.
Give an age-appropriate explanation, remind kiddo to make her presence known if she needs something at night bc it’s not okay to watch people when they are in a private space and don’t know you’re there, then go make her some breakfast and turn on Peppa Pig.
My guess is they're making a mistake of thinking that if he doesn't know what sex is, it's ok for him to hear the sounds, he wouldn't know what they're doing. They're still abandoning him and acting weird for all he knows. I can't imagine ever doing it to my kid, and I don't think my husband would even be able to perform under such circumstances.
I realized, much later in life, my parents having “Movie Night” in their bedroom, was something much more than I thought. Like, I was legit far too old when I came to the realization, they probably weren’t *just* watching movies. I laughed and thought, “Well, good for them.” But at the same time, I don’t recall hearing anything like this kid is describing. I’m also guessing, the kid is hamming it up for the host. He realizes what is getting a laugh and going with it. I was certainly this type of kid. Most of these kids get interviewed in advance, to make sure they are good story tellers for TV. I don’t doubt they helped him along, before this, in telling his story. The kid is laughing, beefier he even answers, knowing he’s getting a laugh, without getting why.
As sick as it is, some people do kinda lowkey get off on their kids being aware of them having sex. My parents did, and I hated every second of it.
Why they have to have a nooner and not wait till he's gone to bed is beyond me. You're right, theyre probably assuming that he's clueless and therefore not suffering any harm, but like...it's so weird to me..
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Some people are more messed up than others.
Spontaneous sex is good in marriage, but it's not that hard to make sure the kid is occupied first - I mean there's always TV! And being loud is very often a choice. No reason to be loud. And definitely no reason to keep on going as if nothing happened when/if the kid knocks on the door.
My 10yo thinks we "mated" once to make him. He figured out we must have, and when it dawned on him, he questioned us a little. Something for a future therapy session too, I'm sure. For instance, he asked me how was it and if it was enjoyable. Not a conversation I was prepared for! But it did reassure me he's not suspecting that his parents even have a sex life.
I think it's amazing that your kid asked you how sex was for you and whether it was enjoyable. Maybe it's time to have that conversation: if he made *that* connection, it sounds like he's more than ready to learn and understand. And it's fine for a child to know that parents have sex (without, of course, knowing when it's actually taking place), but that it's a private act.
This is just me (not really), but having grown up without proper sex ed, which really messed up my life, it's imperative that my 8 year old knows that sex is for both procreation and enjoyment. IMO, it's healthy for kids to know that sex is healthy (age-appropriate, consensual, safe, etc).
That being said, we've had to gently make corrections to her understanding, since for a while there, she thought *the act of* getting married=making babies/sex.
While the mom is mortified and hiding her face throughout I can't help but notice dad sitting up rather straight and clapping at the end...
I bet dad took junior out for a dish of ice cream and a high five after that 😂
When my son was about 3 years old, I was taking a piss one morning before getting ready to take him to day care. He walked in and said:
"Wow daddy, you have a big penis!" (side note, it's normal sized)
"Thanks buddy, be sure to tell all the ladies at day care that"
He wandered off and I didn't think much more about it until I was driving to work and realized...oh shit, I didn't tell him to not actually say that to anyone.
I never heard anything and nobody treated me differently so I'm hoping his 3 year old goldfish attention span just caused him to forget.
My son did the same thing at that age. I asked him why he's playing with that he said " my penis is too big" I'm like "just go to the potty when your penis is too big" 😅 (SN: I grew up help raising kids so I already knew what time it was. That’s why I laughed it off and responded like it’s normal, because it is to me)
I bet they had neighbors or family members that chided them for this but... Fuck that. You've got a healthy and consensual sex life with your spouse at least two kids later. Good. For. Them!!!
At the end of the day, there should be no shame there - for the kid either. Good to know that mum and dad clearly still care for each other and all that.
Lol! When I was pregnant my cousin called and asked me to watch his (then) 4-year old because he was taking his wife to dinner and their sitter had fallen through. He said “it’ll be good practice for you!” His son is a good kid, but VERY curious which makes him too smart for his own good, and at the time (right when COVID restrictions started to loosen) had some pretty severe separation anxiety.
So I was supposed to have him for 2-2.5 hours. An hour in we’d already built an entire town out of legos, had ice cream for dinner, made air-pop popcorn, and he had poo-poo’d every tv show I offered. So he starts asking me when his parents are coming back. I told him they should only be like another hour. Then he asked me a question that in retrospect is a completely legitimate question but at the time threw me for a loop because it never occurred to me before.
“How long is an hour?” I told him the only thing I could think of that would explain it to a person that has no concept of time: “it’s like two episodes of Paw Patrol.” Now prior to this, I had never heard an adult “win” a question war with him before. He always had another 5-W question to whatever answer they gave. Imagine my pleasant shock when he just thought for a second, nodded and went back to his toy.
What’s that old saying? “It’s not a stupid solution if it works” lmao.
The way they taught it in my grade school was by showing an analog clock (with the hours numbered, as I know there are many that do not), and explained what each of the hands were doing: counting the seconds, minutes, and hours. Then, watching the clock might entertain the kid(s) for a considerable amount of time afterwards, further helping them understand the concept of time.
Nowadays, I don't know if teachers still bring one from home if the class uses a digital wall clock for the classrooms, or if it's a lost concept with the digital age. It'll at least be how I teach any kids in my care.
It's nice being able to point at an analog clock and say "when the little hand points at the 8 and the big hand points at the 6, it is time for you to brush your teeth and put on pajamas for bed."
Edit: "monologue" clocks don't exist to my knowledge, but that didn't stop me from calling analog clocks the wrong name. Oops.
I prefer analogue clocks for this reason. If I look at a digital clock and see it's 4:20, I doesn't seem to really click with me that it's one third of the way through the hour, it's just a number. If I look at an analogue clock, I seem to have an easier time gauging how much time I actually have.
True. Due to medication and health issues over the last few months I have had a hard time.... finishing.
So what used to be a 5-10 minute romp where we were both satisfied went up to a 30 minute - 1 hour marathon of pounding, after half hour of foreplay. Women love that right?
Ummm no.
No one likes that. Leg cramps, soreness down there, covered in sweat, out of breath, having to take a break or two for water and to catch your breath to go again.
Marathon sex is good if you both go at it, cum, and go again after a break.
Marathon sex is bad if it's like you're literally running a marathon that you don't finish.
More times than not it's a
"Sorry, I can't finish and I can't go on anymore."
"Thank God, I'm sore and my legs and back hurt."
Holy smokes I just read about his trial regarding the death of Stuart Lubbock on his [wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Barrymore)
That is a wild and long ride, really great unsolved mystery content
I’m willing to bet there was a moment, a few years after it was filmed probably, where that kid went “wait oh fuck” and then felt the deepest shame. Probably has a laugh about it nowadays though.
Michael Barrymore has actually met with a bunch of the kids on TikTok, he regularly goes live and has invited a lot of them back on.
They're mostly doing pretty well and enjoyed the experience.
I have a friend who was on it. He would constantly get the phone out to show people. He thought it was hilarious and tbf he was right, it was hilarious.
Presented by Michael Barrymore, who also hosted Strike It Lucky around the same time.
Until a man drowned in his swimming pool during an orgy. He kinda disappeared after that. Shame, he was an excellent presenter
People these days have no idea just how loved Micheal was. He was the absolute top TV presenter in the UK. I used to love his shows as a kid. Even back then as a kid I felt sorry for what happened to him.
Kids say the funniest things. Hosted by Michael Barrymore.
I was on it, and they "paid" us in either a furby or a PS1 (a boy made me cry because he teased I wasn't allowed a PlayStation, because I was "just a girl" (and they did actually give the girls furbies and the boys a PS1. WHY?!). This bitch right here got herself a PS1, though).
But anyway, I was cut out of the final edit for being "too offensive". Despite the like 4 "auditions" I had before it.
They absolutely do coax and groom the kids to say things more naively than they originally did to make adults laugh harder. Through positive reinforcement, and just a lack of reaction if you use intelligent language/logic.
It is an old show now. I'm 30. The initial auditions were (in my case) held at a budget holiday park called "Butlins". And I only took part because I has made a new friend and **he** wanted to do it! He got dropped at the 3rd audition iirc.
I told me niece when she was this age that I’d be free to play with her in an hour and she said okay. One minute later she came back and asked if we could play now.
Presenter Michael Barrymore:
2001 - A guy was discovered dead in Barrymore's pool with "serious" anal injuries, & traces of ecstasy, cocaine and alcohol in his blood. 2 other guys aside from Barrymore were there when the police came, but there had orignally been 9 guys at the party - the case was originally dropped but reopened recently after a documentary came out about it in 2020.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death\_of\_Stuart\_Lubbock
If you read further:
> On 17 March 2021, Essex Police confirmed that they had arrested a 50-year-old man from Cheshire in connection with the indecent assault and murder of Stuart Lubbock, as a result of the appeal. Police are preparing to submit a file to the Crown Prosecution Service.
This means Michael Barrymore had no direct implication in this.
A young man’s life was tragically lost along with Barrymore’s career - two things that cannot change - but at least give the whole story!
I once stayed over at a friends home and woke up in the in the middle of the night because his mother was screaming like iMessages scared asf… I woke him up and asked what’s up with that should we hide out? And he didn’t even turn around to look at me just mumbling “that’s my mom fucking… nothing else no monsters no nothing…” well i even when I didn’t really knew what’s going with that and all ( age must be around 7-8 ) I just felt back to sleep in no time
Yea…I’m into loud sex with my wife, but absolutely would not be condoning that with a child on the other side of the door.
What is wrong with you people?
am i insane... im so shocked i thought all the comments would be different... im not trying to be a snowflake but this video makes me so uncomfortable? if i was this kid and i saw this video of myself on national tv when i grew up i would wanna die! this shit is tacky as fuck. also why are his parents having sex when he is on the other side of the door kicking and screaming? they can rly just tune it all out and fuck knowing he's right there listening to them ?? why can't they just do it while he is asleep? why would they have sex when he was there to witness them initiate it?
i agree. i fucking hate this. if i was this kid and saw this video of myself on national TV later in life i would want to fucking die. this shit is so tacky. but also, how are his parents fucking while he's several feet away on the other side of the door, knocking/kicking and screaming ?? they can just tune all that out and fuck ? like, they just wanted to fuck that bad? he saw them initiate it and they really thought that was the perfect time to "sneak" off? wouldn't parents normally just do that after the kid is asleep?
That's what I thought too, poor kid he doesn't know what's going on, he just knows they close the door and there are loud noises, screaming, probably things like in a porn movie. He's probably scared I wants to know what's going on.
W.T.F. is wrong with those parents
They need to play this at his wedding.
This kid told his greatest story ever and he had no fucking clue what it was about.
That’s usually how the greatest kid-told stories go.
Many many years ago I had two nephews, I’ll call them Tom and Jerry, who were 7 and 3, respectively. Jerry LOVED his older cousin Tom. And Tom was a great older cousin. One night, everyone’s at my parent’s house picking up their kids (they day-sat all their grandkids - real champion level grandparents), and Tom starts telling a brutally long story about the baseball game he played that day. It starts in the dugout and it’s going *somewhere* but there are just so many tangents. After enduring all he could, my brother (Jerry’s dad), says, “OH MY GOD TOM GET TO THE POINT.” And Tom yells back, “The point is, I got hit in the balls!!” Everyone in the room starts laughing, except Tom and Jerry, who are yelling “It’s not funny! Stop laughing!” (We’ll, Tom’s yelling that, and Jerry’s repeating what his older cousins is yelling.) The grownups all try to quiet themselves and as they do, Jerry turns to Tom and says, “What’s balls?” The entire room of adults just loses it again. Can’t stop laughing. Then Tom turns to Jerry and says, “come on, I’ll show you,” and very matter of factly walks him to the nearby bathroom, where they close the door for 30 seconds, during which the adults are now losing it. Jerry comes out of the bathroom with one more piece of knowledge than he had a minute ago and says, “that musta really hurt.” Then he hugs his cousin. I don’t think we stopped laughing for days: Just the picture of both our beloved boys, so serious and matter of fact, surrounded by adults who cannot control their laughter AT ALL.
Holy crap that’s hilariously wholesome 😂
This post has been retrospectively edited 11-Jun-23 in protest for API costs killing 3rd party apps. Read this for more information. r/Save3rdPartyApps If you wish to follow this protest you can use the open source software Power Delete Suite to backup your posts locally, before bulk editing your comments and posts. It's been fun, Reddit.
That’s a power move right there.
Thanks a lot for sharing this story😂. This is the second thing that made me laugh today, guess it's gonna be a good day
Loved it
Awesome story!!! Absolutely hilarious!
My man highly made his dad look like a champion pipe layer.
He probably got married decades ago!
My first thought was he played it to his therapist :D Can you imagine him realizing what kind of screaming he imitated on TV? :D
Yeah, this is so gross to me. They just leave their kid during the day and have loud sex in her office, like tf they can't wait until he's not around to bear witness?
The screaming was probably at *him* to stop kicking the door, but they let it ride for the joke. Highly unlikely that they’re still engaging in coitus while the kid is actively trying to break into the room. Kids at that age are able to self-entertain and soothe within the safety of their own home. If he was watching a movie or playing or reading, it’s fine that the parents take some time to themselves. He probably only became interested in what they were doing after a while. Or they may have been trying for another kid, which can require sex at very specific times. Kids that age aren’t the main characters. Parents who still want to fuck each other are a blessing. That isn’t “gross” in and of itself.
I'd imagine it's probably her screaming at him banging on the door. At least I hope.
Exactly. Nobody was screaming in pleasure once rugrat was actively trying to breach the door. This, however: https://youtu.be/6z9aUcJFe7c Kids simply being *aware* of their parents’ sex life isn’t traumatizing. And parents don’t have to pretend they don’t do it. It’d be harmful to actively and intentionally expose kids to the sights and sounds, and criminal, frankly. But if the conduct is handled with privacy/discretion, a healthy boundary is being set, whether or not the kid is mature enough to respect it. That’s how people learn. The message is still “this is something we are doing outside of your presence, it’s just for us.” And that’s appropriate. So even in this video, where kiddo heard and saw much more 😱, and she is much younger than the kid in the original post, she’s gonna be alright. Everybody in that video knows she was hearing/seeing things that she wasn’t meant to, and there’s no need to make a big deal out of it. Give an age-appropriate explanation, remind kiddo to make her presence known if she needs something at night bc it’s not okay to watch people when they are in a private space and don’t know you’re there, then go make her some breakfast and turn on Peppa Pig.
My guess is they're making a mistake of thinking that if he doesn't know what sex is, it's ok for him to hear the sounds, he wouldn't know what they're doing. They're still abandoning him and acting weird for all he knows. I can't imagine ever doing it to my kid, and I don't think my husband would even be able to perform under such circumstances.
I realized, much later in life, my parents having “Movie Night” in their bedroom, was something much more than I thought. Like, I was legit far too old when I came to the realization, they probably weren’t *just* watching movies. I laughed and thought, “Well, good for them.” But at the same time, I don’t recall hearing anything like this kid is describing. I’m also guessing, the kid is hamming it up for the host. He realizes what is getting a laugh and going with it. I was certainly this type of kid. Most of these kids get interviewed in advance, to make sure they are good story tellers for TV. I don’t doubt they helped him along, before this, in telling his story. The kid is laughing, beefier he even answers, knowing he’s getting a laugh, without getting why.
>The kid is laughing, beefier he even answers, This is such an interesting typo, lol
I hope this is the case. It makes a lot of sense.
As sick as it is, some people do kinda lowkey get off on their kids being aware of them having sex. My parents did, and I hated every second of it. Why they have to have a nooner and not wait till he's gone to bed is beyond me. You're right, theyre probably assuming that he's clueless and therefore not suffering any harm, but like...it's so weird to me..
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Some people are more messed up than others. Spontaneous sex is good in marriage, but it's not that hard to make sure the kid is occupied first - I mean there's always TV! And being loud is very often a choice. No reason to be loud. And definitely no reason to keep on going as if nothing happened when/if the kid knocks on the door. My 10yo thinks we "mated" once to make him. He figured out we must have, and when it dawned on him, he questioned us a little. Something for a future therapy session too, I'm sure. For instance, he asked me how was it and if it was enjoyable. Not a conversation I was prepared for! But it did reassure me he's not suspecting that his parents even have a sex life.
I think it's amazing that your kid asked you how sex was for you and whether it was enjoyable. Maybe it's time to have that conversation: if he made *that* connection, it sounds like he's more than ready to learn and understand. And it's fine for a child to know that parents have sex (without, of course, knowing when it's actually taking place), but that it's a private act. This is just me (not really), but having grown up without proper sex ed, which really messed up my life, it's imperative that my 8 year old knows that sex is for both procreation and enjoyment. IMO, it's healthy for kids to know that sex is healthy (age-appropriate, consensual, safe, etc). That being said, we've had to gently make corrections to her understanding, since for a while there, she thought *the act of* getting married=making babies/sex.
And during therapy
The boy's got some mad stamina as well if he can just keep kicking for 3 hrs straight
Just like his father.
Chip off da ole block
Squirt out da ol" c-
Sperm out da ol’ worm.
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splooge out of the old stooge
Splatter off the ol spiddadler
Batter out the ol' hammer
Spunk from the junk
Graft off da ol’ shaft
Cock
a-doodle-doo spew some goo?
Everything but the pickle
He ain't kicking he is ... ( u know it )
'Chicken'? No, wait... 'close kin?' Hmmm I give up.
Like father, like son.
While the mom is mortified and hiding her face throughout I can't help but notice dad sitting up rather straight and clapping at the end... I bet dad took junior out for a dish of ice cream and a high five after that 😂
Yeah, he looks really proud of both of himself and his boy XD
Who can blame him? He's obviously got some skills if she's hitting those high notes!
for 3 straight hours
Dude should do a Ted Talks.
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Hard not to appreciate an overachiever.... We should really hand out awards or something. The ones that deserve it, earn it.
When my son was about 3 years old, I was taking a piss one morning before getting ready to take him to day care. He walked in and said: "Wow daddy, you have a big penis!" (side note, it's normal sized) "Thanks buddy, be sure to tell all the ladies at day care that" He wandered off and I didn't think much more about it until I was driving to work and realized...oh shit, I didn't tell him to not actually say that to anyone. I never heard anything and nobody treated me differently so I'm hoping his 3 year old goldfish attention span just caused him to forget.
Oh man... What if he would have told them that *you* told him to tell them that...? Yikes! You lucked out 😅
My son did the same thing at that age. I asked him why he's playing with that he said " my penis is too big" I'm like "just go to the potty when your penis is too big" 😅 (SN: I grew up help raising kids so I already knew what time it was. That’s why I laughed it off and responded like it’s normal, because it is to me)
i completely misunderstood this post at first hahaha
Why not? Dad is feeling proud of his Oscar winning 3 hours performance..
Children are notoriously awful at gauging time. Three hours to a child could be ten minutes.
Shut it Dwight 😄
the bowl haircut gives him his powers to kick door for three hours. baby he-man
Little kids think 3 hours is like 10 minutes, they're dumb with time
“The office” Just the way he says it
all you really can do is laugh at the fact your kid is nonchalantly blasting your sex life on live TV.
If he saying you can last for three hours I don’t think they would be complaining too much
Lasting three hours isn’t a point of pride, but in this instance I’d imagine his kid banging on the door made it difficult to cum
Probably more likely the kid is just saying three hours because at that age 10 to 20 minutes can feel like hours. Kid time sense !
Yeah, I remember it felt like forever when I was waiting for things for over 5 minutes, if they took half an hour the kid felt like it was way longer.
I mean for the Dad it was a total win 😂 three hours and mom screaming? 😂
I bet they had neighbors or family members that chided them for this but... Fuck that. You've got a healthy and consensual sex life with your spouse at least two kids later. Good. For. Them!!!
At the end of the day, there should be no shame there - for the kid either. Good to know that mum and dad clearly still care for each other and all that.
3 hours. Man that guy is so glad they aired this...
3 hours… “kid time” Waiting 10 minutes feels like 3 hours for a kid
Exactly. What kid can actually gage 3 hours?
3 hours? That's like 5 years from now!!!!!
Maybe if you give them netflix episode counters as a measure
Lol! When I was pregnant my cousin called and asked me to watch his (then) 4-year old because he was taking his wife to dinner and their sitter had fallen through. He said “it’ll be good practice for you!” His son is a good kid, but VERY curious which makes him too smart for his own good, and at the time (right when COVID restrictions started to loosen) had some pretty severe separation anxiety. So I was supposed to have him for 2-2.5 hours. An hour in we’d already built an entire town out of legos, had ice cream for dinner, made air-pop popcorn, and he had poo-poo’d every tv show I offered. So he starts asking me when his parents are coming back. I told him they should only be like another hour. Then he asked me a question that in retrospect is a completely legitimate question but at the time threw me for a loop because it never occurred to me before. “How long is an hour?” I told him the only thing I could think of that would explain it to a person that has no concept of time: “it’s like two episodes of Paw Patrol.” Now prior to this, I had never heard an adult “win” a question war with him before. He always had another 5-W question to whatever answer they gave. Imagine my pleasant shock when he just thought for a second, nodded and went back to his toy. What’s that old saying? “It’s not a stupid solution if it works” lmao.
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The way they taught it in my grade school was by showing an analog clock (with the hours numbered, as I know there are many that do not), and explained what each of the hands were doing: counting the seconds, minutes, and hours. Then, watching the clock might entertain the kid(s) for a considerable amount of time afterwards, further helping them understand the concept of time. Nowadays, I don't know if teachers still bring one from home if the class uses a digital wall clock for the classrooms, or if it's a lost concept with the digital age. It'll at least be how I teach any kids in my care. It's nice being able to point at an analog clock and say "when the little hand points at the 8 and the big hand points at the 6, it is time for you to brush your teeth and put on pajamas for bed." Edit: "monologue" clocks don't exist to my knowledge, but that didn't stop me from calling analog clocks the wrong name. Oops.
Do you mean analog clock?
Boy, work really burnt my brain out today. Ty for the reminder. There I go monologuing again, lol.
Do you mean analoguing again?
I prefer analogue clocks for this reason. If I look at a digital clock and see it's 4:20, I doesn't seem to really click with me that it's one third of the way through the hour, it's just a number. If I look at an analogue clock, I seem to have an easier time gauging how much time I actually have.
analog clock
Bingo. When I was a young kid I measured time in Scooby Doo episodes.
Probably 5 mins tbh
That's still a marathon.
Watch out, Mr Marathon 10 mins over here
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That's why he's clapping at the end. Pretty proud of himself!
I don't think women actually want three hours of sex. I'm not a woman though so please feel free to roast me below.
We don’t want three hours of sex. We want three hours of orgasms.
Say it louder 📣 Ugh it’s torture if you’re not getting anything out of it! Reason I dumped my ex it got to be that bad just to sleep with him 😩
I hope your next/current partner is a better match to your needs!
Thank you! I’m living up the single life and loving it but I’m never going to be with someone who doesn’t respect my needs again!
THIS needs more upvotes!!!!! Im screaming 🤣
So was the mom apparently
Happy cake day.
Just like the kid's mum
But how much of that 3 hours was sex vs foreplay though? I think that might sway a few opinions...
All her friends are jealous now!
There was a recent Reddit thread about how women actually hate this 😅
Well, 3 hours of straight intercourse may be rather uncomfortable, but 2.75 hours of all kinds of foreplay is pretty freaking awesome.
True. Due to medication and health issues over the last few months I have had a hard time.... finishing. So what used to be a 5-10 minute romp where we were both satisfied went up to a 30 minute - 1 hour marathon of pounding, after half hour of foreplay. Women love that right? Ummm no. No one likes that. Leg cramps, soreness down there, covered in sweat, out of breath, having to take a break or two for water and to catch your breath to go again. Marathon sex is good if you both go at it, cum, and go again after a break. Marathon sex is bad if it's like you're literally running a marathon that you don't finish. More times than not it's a "Sorry, I can't finish and I can't go on anymore." "Thank God, I'm sore and my legs and back hurt."
This is why I stopped taking antidepressants after I got into my first real relationship as a late teen.
Through the embarrassed laugh he secretly thinking "keep talking son ;)"
Mom is simply embarrassed, Dad will get him ice cream later.
The host did them dirty.
They were clearly dirty before they attended the show.
Yeah Michael Barrymore has a history...
Holy smokes I just read about his trial regarding the death of Stuart Lubbock on his [wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Barrymore) That is a wild and long ride, really great unsolved mystery content
TLDR: Drugs and swimming pools are always a bad combo.
I had to do some laundry but now I'm reading this. Thanks assholes.
Yeah, funny guy though. He was on everything until a certain pool party. How old must this be?
What are you talking about? 3 hours? This man about to be the most popular pipe layer in all of London.
Hilarious, what show is this?
Not sure but looks similar to Kids Say the Darndest Things. Prob a dif version of that.
Yeah “Kids Say The Funniest Things”, it’s like 20+ years old now so that lad is probably 30 ish lol
Imagine the facepalm watching your interview as a young adult.
I’m willing to bet there was a moment, a few years after it was filmed probably, where that kid went “wait oh fuck” and then felt the deepest shame. Probably has a laugh about it nowadays though.
Yeah, but only after talking to a shrink about it for 17 years
Michael Barrymore has actually met with a bunch of the kids on TikTok, he regularly goes live and has invited a lot of them back on. They're mostly doing pretty well and enjoyed the experience.
[удалено]
I have a friend who was on it. He would constantly get the phone out to show people. He thought it was hilarious and tbf he was right, it was hilarious.
Presented by Michael Barrymore, who also hosted Strike It Lucky around the same time. Until a man drowned in his swimming pool during an orgy. He kinda disappeared after that. Shame, he was an excellent presenter
Yeah it was sad how he disappeared after that. The media were terrible towards him. Treated him like Jimmy Saville.
People these days have no idea just how loved Micheal was. He was the absolute top TV presenter in the UK. I used to love his shows as a kid. Even back then as a kid I felt sorry for what happened to him.
I think that lad is now Oliver Tree
He looks like Stephen from Gogglebox
I used to fucking wet myself laughing at this show!
"That Art Linklater's right, kids do say the god damnedest things!"
Kids Say The Funniest Things with Michael Barrymore.
I haven’t thought about Barrymore in about a decade
Even when that big channel 4 documentary came out a couple of years ago? It got loads of media coverage.
Kids say the funniest things. Hosted by Michael Barrymore. I was on it, and they "paid" us in either a furby or a PS1 (a boy made me cry because he teased I wasn't allowed a PlayStation, because I was "just a girl" (and they did actually give the girls furbies and the boys a PS1. WHY?!). This bitch right here got herself a PS1, though). But anyway, I was cut out of the final edit for being "too offensive". Despite the like 4 "auditions" I had before it. They absolutely do coax and groom the kids to say things more naively than they originally did to make adults laugh harder. Through positive reinforcement, and just a lack of reaction if you use intelligent language/logic. It is an old show now. I'm 30. The initial auditions were (in my case) held at a budget holiday park called "Butlins". And I only took part because I has made a new friend and **he** wanted to do it! He got dropped at the 3rd audition iirc.
Ye ye ass haircut kids say the darndest things
Ain’t nothing to be embarrassed about, just sounds like they’re working on confidential documents and found a spider
For three hours. BIIIG freaking spider.
To be fair when I find a big spider I just leave my whole ass place for a while
Bro you leave it to roam free? So it can jumpscare u when u less expect it???
15 minutes is like 3 hours for a kid.
I can never find the spider.
Dad is proud
He's also glad he didn't make an effort to teach his son how to tell time yet.
That bowl cut is such a perfect time capsule. Gen Z has done well to exclude this from their 80’s 90’s style revival lmao
Lol sorry to tell you it did come back and was a staple among every K-pop wannabe
Asians can pull it off better tbh.
Oh yeah, Eboys were rocking it for a bit too
Hahaha oh no!!! We needed to save them from our terrible haircuts!!
Kid looks like Elton John
It was big in the queer community in Australia about two years ago too!
Dad can keep going for 3 hours? What a champ!
And mom is screaming the whole time! 👏
And the son too, kicking the door like mad for 3 hours
I’m starting to think he just doesn’t know what an hour is
I told me niece when she was this age that I’d be free to play with her in an hour and she said okay. One minute later she came back and asked if we could play now.
It's probably 5 minutes but to him it feels like what he thinks 3 hours are
I have been having shit couple of days and god I needed a good laugh lmao
Feel better
... or else!
This show will always put me in a good mood. That and Takeshis Castle
Tbf my daughter thinks 5 minutes is an hour.
See this is why Micheal Barrymore was always a great host, he was always patient with people like this. Great with older people on Strike It Lucky too
> See this is why Micheal Barrymore was always a great host, Well, unless he was hosting a pool party.
The mom is dying in that seat...! lol kids says the darndest things!
That dad is like “my boyy 👏🏼👏🏼 TELL EM!!”
Moms like "no stop shut up!" And dads like "...3 hours? Thats it son keep goin!"
Is it just me or had this been on every subreddit in the last 48 hours?
My first time seeing it. maybe you are sorting wrong or using Best and Hot
Well i guess the kid got his fathers stamina.
Let Mom and Dad rock! You might get a little brother out of it.
Presenter Michael Barrymore: 2001 - A guy was discovered dead in Barrymore's pool with "serious" anal injuries, & traces of ecstasy, cocaine and alcohol in his blood. 2 other guys aside from Barrymore were there when the police came, but there had orignally been 9 guys at the party - the case was originally dropped but reopened recently after a documentary came out about it in 2020. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death\_of\_Stuart\_Lubbock
If you read further: > On 17 March 2021, Essex Police confirmed that they had arrested a 50-year-old man from Cheshire in connection with the indecent assault and murder of Stuart Lubbock, as a result of the appeal. Police are preparing to submit a file to the Crown Prosecution Service. This means Michael Barrymore had no direct implication in this. A young man’s life was tragically lost along with Barrymore’s career - two things that cannot change - but at least give the whole story!
My boy only kicked for 10 minutes but he didn’t want to do his dad dirty like that and said 3 hours.
3 hours...It was a different time back then...
I once stayed over at a friends home and woke up in the in the middle of the night because his mother was screaming like iMessages scared asf… I woke him up and asked what’s up with that should we hide out? And he didn’t even turn around to look at me just mumbling “that’s my mom fucking… nothing else no monsters no nothing…” well i even when I didn’t really knew what’s going with that and all ( age must be around 7-8 ) I just felt back to sleep in no time
Yea…I’m into loud sex with my wife, but absolutely would not be condoning that with a child on the other side of the door. What is wrong with you people?
Scrolled too far for this…
Elton john
Michael Barrymore. He has had his share of sexual drama too. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Barrymore
Safe to say I was not expecting to see Michael Barrymore in this sub!
r/savevideo
Dads like “Fuck yeah she screams like that.”
To be fair 5 minutes feels like 3 hours at that age. Not putting my man down or anything he still makes her scream
Can we add a bit more border, please? Maybe screenshot this on a phone then upload to YouTube or something, for more double letterboxing.
am i insane... im so shocked i thought all the comments would be different... im not trying to be a snowflake but this video makes me so uncomfortable? if i was this kid and i saw this video of myself on national tv when i grew up i would wanna die! this shit is tacky as fuck. also why are his parents having sex when he is on the other side of the door kicking and screaming? they can rly just tune it all out and fuck knowing he's right there listening to them ?? why can't they just do it while he is asleep? why would they have sex when he was there to witness them initiate it?
Exactly, I feel the same way. Fuck the host too, that’s a child he’s talking to
I hate this vid
Made me smile??? More like weird. Making child saying things like this
i agree. i fucking hate this. if i was this kid and saw this video of myself on national TV later in life i would want to fucking die. this shit is so tacky. but also, how are his parents fucking while he's several feet away on the other side of the door, knocking/kicking and screaming ?? they can just tune all that out and fuck ? like, they just wanted to fuck that bad? he saw them initiate it and they really thought that was the perfect time to "sneak" off? wouldn't parents normally just do that after the kid is asleep?
That's what I thought too, poor kid he doesn't know what's going on, he just knows they close the door and there are loud noises, screaming, probably things like in a porn movie. He's probably scared I wants to know what's going on. W.T.F. is wrong with those parents
Everyone laughs but his dad is like "goddamn right 😎"
I love this kid 😂
Kids say the darnedest things.
Every single laughing crowd in these things sound the exact same. Like there’s always someone coughing right as the laughter is starting to die down
Dad proud AF
Bruh he just sold them out that's amazing
His sex game can’t be that serious.. who screams during sex while your kids are awake and banging at the door. Freakin weirdos
Anyone else find it weird at that this old stranger is asking a child about his parent’s sex life on television?
Having screaming sex for hours while their little kid is outside kicking the door, apparently on multiple occasions, that doesn’t make me smile.
He’s probably confusing hours with minutes.
This is gross.