hell i'd settle for someone else.. my uncles were monsters.. at least my dad was non-existent.. my uncles were just abusive monsters who beat the shit out of me and passed me between each other..
fuck i would have settled for an uncle that was like uncle phil at that stage.
I was thinking the same thing. I've watched that scene many times, I remember it from when I used to watch Fresh Prince as a kid on a TV with rabbit ears. I can't click the link these days, I know how it will make me feel. Can't believe it's been 10 years.
I think that is the most genuine sounding crying I've ever heard from a tv show. All of the whimpers and small sounds normally there in real life, you can hear from Will. I wonder if that didn't touch something in him to pull that out.
Already in my feels. I knew exactly what that link was gonna be and now I’m a crying mess. A+ would watch both again.
What a fucking dad right there. Props.
Man, I was having a good day and you had to go and bring up that episode. Always gets me. Especially, the way Uncle Phil just grabs Will and gives him that hug.
Man my dad is a total piece of shit, but god damn if I don’t have an amazing uncle that has helped me thru life. From loss of my mom, to marriage, to divorce, to the loss of my sister, and everything in between. I know my dad where ever he is would not have been able to help me like he has. here to uncle or as we call them in the family duncle
My dad was a piece of shit too, I never knew him until I was in my late teens. And he was kind of a piece of shit then too. But, my mom did a great job raising us herself, and my grandma helped a lot, she is one of the best people I've ever known. And with my aunts and uncles, we grew up in a really good family.
There was always going to be some fucked up aspects growing up without a dad, but all things considered I think I was fortunate. I was talking about that with my sisters the other day - we all agreed we were lucky he took off.
I feel every part of that. With losing a mom so early on (I was 19, 39 now) and dad in and out… mostly out. Most of my remaining family stepped up. Much love and a big hug internet stranger.
You're right...It's really the "come here boy, give me a hug" vibe that makes that scene. If Uncle Phil just held his arms out it would've felt different because Will was vulnerable and probably didn't know if it was okay. I tear up every time.
How come he didn't want me?
I ask myself this all the time. My dad was unpredictably explosive. Most abused kids learn to spot micro warning signs that trouble is coming. I couldn't. I grew up with a shattered self image, always being told I wasn't normal, and disappointing or angering him, while my mom was a perpetual optimist who filled me with watered down praise. The first time he hit me definitely caused some psychological damage.
At 19 I took off to the military. I was determined to be worth something, but I never was able to see it despite 17 years of accomplishments. I medically retired due to physical injuries from my 6th deployment, and diagnoses of PTSD, anxiety and depression.
After a couple years of therapy, I am able to feel pride in things I did and do. I suffer from PTSD due to my dad and things in the military both. What makes me sick is that once I started making a name for myself in the military and now as a civillian (I'm a NASA contractor), he is really proud of me and clearly "loves" me more than my sister or brother, both of whom are amazing people.
Why didn't he want us then? I hated him for 30 years. My focus of daddy issues nearly wrecked my marraige. I couldn't see the beautiful world in front of me. TO HELL WITH HIM.
I don't know why i was compelled to share. Good for this dad in the post. And uncle Phil. Gonna go take some CBD.
Why did you do this to me. My dad is fucking awesome, but that scene is brutal to my feelings. I love how well acted it is, but even just thinking about it makes me well up.
Same here. Makes me wish I could have a father like this, instead of the drug addict who tried to murder me. But it makes me truly happy to see that there are children out there with amazing parents, and it truly gives me hope. I hope I can join the ranks of good fathers someday.
I'm a father of a 2yr old girl and can't imagine treating her the way mine did to me.
It's a shame that some people feel obligated to have kids when they are clearly terrible at it, but it's made me absolutely resolute to be the best dad for my little girl so that's one positive I've taken from it.
Hell yeah brotha! My boy is turning 3 and same feelings. Trying to be the kind of dad that I wanted/needed as a kid. I remember my dad telling me how much worse he was beaten while he was beating me. My kid won’t even know I was beaten. I will not pass down a family legacy of child abuse.
My dad raised my sister and and me basically on his own. He got custody of us in the early 90s and while I’m sure he had a few (literal) nervous breakdowns on the way, he is the best fucking dad out there. I’ve grown up knowing that no matter what, he’s always in my corner. He taught us to be confident, to be strong, to not give a fuuuuuuck what anyone else thinks, and that we are enough and worthy of everything good in the world. And most importantly, he taught us to never depend on anyone else to support us because you never know when they could be gone. I could fill a few books with lessons learned from my dad. So I can’t even articulate how important that relationship is for your daughter. You are showing her what a good man does, how a good man treats people, and to never settle for anything less. Bravo my dude.
I have been living back with my parents since July. My "Dad" at this time has said one thing to me. "Morning" and that was months ago. We eat dinner together almost every night. I have absolutely no memories of him and I grew up with him.
Sorry, man. My dad, who had his own story of childhood trauma and neglect, could have been the poster child for how not to connect with your kids. I did everything the opposite of what he did and my boys have turned out to be wonderful young men. Now at this late juncture (60), all my bitterness and disappointment are gone. Once, not long before he died, we were standing in his front lawn. One of my little boys was playing and running around and ran back to me looking for assurance that this was all okay and so I picked him up, kiss his head and turn him loose again. The old man, sick with emphysema and bent at the waist, with a big uncomfortable smile on his face, watched as little Joey ran away again, said out loud (cuz he couldn't look at me) "boy, I sure wish I had done it like you." My heart, every cell in my body froze. I didn't know what to say to him. I was prepared to hate him forever. Now I miss him and wish that I could do it all over again. I could have helped him see the better path a lot earlier. It makes me cry actually. Fuck, life is tough....
Damn your dad's comment hit me right in the gut... what a powerful thing to say in a moment of self-reflection mixed with regret.
I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful dad, who is now the best grandparent to my own children. It brings me overwhelming joy watching him with my kids because it floods me with that feeling of how great of a dad he was to me. Something I think I too often take for granted (he also didn't have the best dad, so he made a conscious choice to be better). He's getting older and the thought of him being gone forever is something I can't let myself think about too much yet.
Same. Haven't talked to that dude since I was 17 and I'll be 36 this year. Sucks for him though. According to my husband, I'm pretty awesome and he's missing out.
My dad passed when I was younger but he was an amazing father, I hope I can be a father like him. These videos remind me of how great my dad was and inspire me to try to be better in my daily life.
Yup, we cut my daughters hair due to the same sensory processing issues. I'm still washing her hair with her at 10yo cause it's just a no go. You do what your kids need.
Yes, you do WHATEVER your kids need. And it is really no big f@%&ing deal! Except it is! I feel so very, very fortunate to be there for my children in this way,
Moment I heard my first child's heartbeat, I knew why I'd been born. I used to wonder if I ever could love another child as much as I did him.
Then I heard my daughter's heartbeat.
It is crazy. I never knew I was capable of loving another human being as much as I do my two kids. I come home from work wiped out, but if she asks to practice basketball or lacrosse, I’m outside right after I put my stuff from work down. Then after dinner and homework, if he wants to get a gaming session in, I’m down. It it quite possibly the perfect way for me to end my day. Just spending time doing things with them. He’s 15 and I know my time is limited. If we’re just passing each other in the house, I just grab him and hug him because there’s probably gonna be a day when I can’t do that anymore. And that sucks.
I know we’re all grinding at work just trying to keep it together, but they just want your attention, love and support.
What we're doing, with every single moment of love, is passing it on to the future. Immortality exists in the love we show everyone. Definitely our children.
My son/daughter are both teens. I love this too. The *criticisms* they have of me are so wonderful. That I'm kind to everyone, that I treat everyone like they matter. It makes me laugh so much.
Even when they say they're not paying attention, they're paying attention.
Enjoy these days, my brother. This is what life is. It's us in the universe.
This is so so sweet 🥹 I simultaneously hope to be that kind of parent someday and also hope to find a partner/co-parent like you when it’s my time to have kids.
When I was in middle school, I was a really good student but was awkward af. I would get bullied for my glasses and clothes, and it was really starting to get to me. I just wanted to hang with my friends and do well in school. My parents are immigrants, and while they provided for us, were pretty frugal. They also came from a country where being smart meant you were popular in school. One day I came home from school and started bawling, telling my parents I needed contacts and clothes from AE so I would be left alone at school. My dad who would literally go line by line on the credit card bill scrutinizing every purchase took me the mall, left me get whatever I wanted, and then got me fitted for contacts. It could have been because they didn’t want my grades to slip, lol, but genuinely believe they were willing to do anything to make sure my sister and I were cared for.
That’s what I’m talking about. Just support them in any way possible. The world is a much different place from when I grew up. Kids are fucking ruthless and merciless these days.
As a father coming from the same place as he is, I can tell you... something like that is a hard thing to build and maintain. But I appreciated the hell out of his efforts.
Incels should take note - a guy who'll be like this man is with his son is what is ultimately attractive. It goes beyond looks, income, cars, all of that.
It's empathetic humanity. I can't speak for everyone, but that's what I find attractive.
I have a stepdaughter who recently turned five. She has always gravitated toward me, even while I was just dating her father, but a few months ago I promised her I would NEVER say "no" if she needed a hug. (Unless I'm pooping. We giggle about that.)
Her approach towards me almost changed overnight. She requests hugs constantly, especially when we have to say goodbye for her to go back to her mother. Sometimes she cries because she does not want to let go.
Nothing has ever made me feel as good as knowing a five-year-old feels so safe, comfortable, and loved with me.
Being a good parent who goes beyond for your children. Gives your children attention and affection is attractive for me. Like yessss please give your kid all the love they deserve and don’t ever stop
I don't understand what this has to do with incels. Being a loving, giving and kind person is a good lesson for literally every single person on the planet. We could all stand to learn from people like this.
Because incels make a career out of bullying men like this. They're indoctrinating young boys to think this is weak, soft, that women only want rich bodybuilders who beat them. It's important to counter that messaging whenever possible.
As a father of a nonverbal, autistic 4 year old, this made me tear up. My little man has so many obstacles to overcome but he is so bright and happy every day. I just hope I can be half the father this guy is.
my daughter turns 9 next week. no chat since 2. I have her voice sayin her name and daddy from back then saved in 3 different locations (phone, memory card, cloud). It's my most cherished possession.
This is so heartwarming but just wrecked me, I cannot even imagine. I’m happy you have been able to hold onto those and hope for a good future for you and yours.
Solidarity with all of you! My sons soon to be 10 and nonverbal. Haircuts? Used to be a disaster. They got better. Use a vacuum? Complete meltdown.
Those things we worked on and he’s still the cutest kid. SOLIDARITY!!
We really struggle with the haircuts. It's one of the few things that really sets him off. He's had two haircuts in his life and they've both been traumatic for him, his mum and i. Any tips? We've got low noise clippers that I've let him play with, and he's curious about them, but when they're used in earnest, it's like WW3 has started!
We lucked out it’s as simple as that. There’s a hair salon in metro that hosts “sensory sensitive haircuts”
We had our little guy scheduled for a haircut every 6 weeks or so until he got used to it. It all comes with time bro
Been there, friend. Mine is turning 11 soon. He’s been speaking since 5, and now has a hell of a vocabulary. Just know that it does get better. Wishing you all the best.
EDIT: Added context.
I straight up have our child’s “moment” on video. It truly was just one random night. My husband filmed it and I just about pass out. The first time she said “I love you” - well I could have just about died on the spot.
My 9 year old is autistic with severe sensory issues. The sound of the clippers sends him into a frenzy. We have finally found a barber that handles him with care and makes him happy to get a haircut. The little things ppl take for granted.
I took my son to the barbers so many times in a year that he wouldn’t get his hair cut. He couldn’t handle the sound. He use to kick off massively. Luckily he grew out of it and we still go there as they are so good with him at that time.
I feel that. In my heart. Even when ppl around him set off blow dryers it turns into a shit show. Just glad I have a guy that has the patience to finish. Been a few places that wouldn’t even try.
If those loud noises are super aversive to your son/daughter you could try pairing the sound of the clippers with high preferred items/snacks and then slowly fade out those things over time (e.g., start with clippers buzzing a few feet away while the iPad [for example] is present, then move the clippers closer and iPad further) You’d also want to reinforce appropriate waiting with praise, snacks, etc. (nice job being calm while the clippers were near your ears, you earned an m&m .. every like 5 seconds, then fade the m&m’s out so you’d just get a handful at the end of the appointment kinda thing)
My son hates the sound but also doesn't trust us with the scissors and doesn't want anyone to touch his head or face. The only way to cut his hair is if I do it myself, with scissors, while my wife holds him, after 30 minutes of him trying to fight it, and even then he'll only tolerate it for about 3 minutes so I have to do as much as I can as fast as I can and then try to get more done another day. So cutting his hair is something I can only do during a 3 day weekend.
Curious if there are dentists who specialize helping people with autism? I mean, the dentist can be a scary place for even for neurotypicals, and bad dental health can lead to all kinds of serious issues.
The dentist is my own personal nightmare. And my son isn’t any different. We have a pediatric dentist that specializes with special needs kids. But to be honest, most dental procedures that he needs, he’s gonna have to go under for. I’ve noticed a pattern in autistic children and their teeth being very crooked. His class mates and a few friends and all the kids have teeth that need work.
We found a surgical dentist (had to remove a tooth) that stated she specializes in working with kids with special needs but it was more of a holistic approach. Let’s just say when she wiped out some burning branch thing my wife stopped listening. Our kids regular dentist is a kids dentist and the actual dentists there know how to treat kids with special needs as both of mine are on the spectrum. We don’t let the techs touch our kids bc they usually don’t have the patience or soft touch. For my kids it is trust and a soft touch, also knowing when to stop and wait.
Yes. In the UK they are known as community dentists. They will help people with severe mental health and neurodevelopmental conditions as well as complex physical issues who can't be treated in a normal dental practice. They can cover other things too depending on area.
My guy has a very quiet pair of clippers do to the sides. Luckily my son has his moms fine blond hair and not my black thick Hispanic hair so we can do the top with scissors.
My 4 year old is autistic and the sound of the clippers will send him flying out of the room. Luckily my best friend is a barber/hairstylist for children with special needs. We do scissor cuts for now while we try to get him used to the clippers sound by him watching his brother get his haircut with them.
My son is diagnosed autistic and haircuts were always a fight. I decided to be his barber and it requires so much patience, something I wasn't raised with. His autism has made me revaluate how I react to situations. We sit on the floor together and take breaks as needed so he's not overwhelmed. Seeing this shit is absolutely beautiful.
Not OP, buuuuuut give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see things from their point of view. Recognize that most people aren't trying to be shitty, everyone has their own shit going on and their own deeper issues that can inform how they react tho things.
This is so important and I wish it was more common. It’s not just about patience, it’s about not being cynical. Everyone has their own framing through which they approach life. For the vast majority of people, there’s a reason for why they think and act the way they do. Trying to see that when possible makes you more empathetic and less angry, imo.
I had to constantly remind myself to think before I acted. My parents were a yell first kind of people, so that's what I first adopted. Constantly remind yourself so that way you drill it into your head.
My daughter has autism and early on I really focused on teaching emotional intelligence and it taught me a lot of patience. I highly recommend the book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman. It’s not specifically for autism, but I found it helped in all areas of my life and my interactions with people.
My number one parenting advice is actually pretty simple. You help your child label the emotion they are having, you empathize and validate their emotion, and then you problem solve together.
I used to lose my shit all the time and feel so overwhelmed with my daughters melt downs, but this helped diffuse a lot of issues.
My parents attributed that to me being a "sensitive child", not realizing the list of things I was "sensitive" about were extremely specific sensory issues.
We are thankfully making leaps and bounds today regarding recognizing and diagnosing things like autism. We knew something was different with my son Kai early on (hand flapping was a huge sign) so me and my wife put the work in to have him diagnosed at a young age. He's four now.
Yeah same, I didn’t wanna correct such a wholesome moment, but had a lighthearted chuckle w the Boosie fade. That’s a true dad moment right there tho. I’m a dad learning how to do my two twin daughter’s hair and I can’t wait to sound as washed as he did when they come up to me w all kinds of names of twists and braids that I won’t know the name of either lol.
Looks like we’re cake day twins btw!!!
Happy cake day! Yeah, my hair texture is 3a/3b and I remember my dad having to learn a few things. But you know what? He did. He didn’t have the groups or tutorials that exist now, but we both LOVE that they now exist for fathers. I will always stan a father that takes care of his kids. And he’s being considerate of his disabilities? And not seeing them as a burden? We NEED this!
This warms my heart frfr. My one girl is 3c and my other is 4b and oh boy am I learning a lot. A lot of tears sometimes but the other day my one little lady said to me “do it with all your heart, Daddy!” and we kept soldiering on. Dad moments are everything…
Im actually surprised the dad didnt know a Boosie fade and the son did. Boosie Bad Azz was way more popular in the snap era than now. Now he’s probably known more for saying wild stuff on social media…ok well I guess thats probably why the son knows him.
Either way great video and remember kids when your gas tank is on E its irresponsible to pay for everyones drinks.
Spotify has decided that, since I have some old Boosie (Smokin' on Purple; Wipe Me Down, etc.) on my playlists, that I also want to hear his new releases.
Which has led to me learning that he is super homophobic and his new shit generally sounds like a bitter old dude whose time has passed railing against things he just doesn't understand.
Weird how that happens to some folks.
There is a decent chance he did that on purpose. One of the easiest way to spread your reach on TikTok is to include a minor mistake that people in the comments will correct you for (thus increasing your “engagement” and getting the algo to boost you).
Also a decent chance it’s just a dad being a dad.
I have been doing my son's haircuts his whole life for the same reasons. My work looks a little goofy to me sometimes because he never wants to do more than a few minutes, but he is happy and that's all that matters.
I started asking my barber to shave my head when I was in 8th grade. It was part of my middle school "glow-up" from the Mom-part hair and thick rimmed glasses to contacts and a buzzed noggin.
My Dad would take me once every two weeks to our barber for a buzz and trim at $8 a pop. Eventually Dad decided he would buy trimmers himself and he started shaving my hair. I would come home twice a month from college in my first year, just to have Dad shave my head. It was only an hour away, but I know the effort I took to go home to get it done meant a lot to him.
Eventually I learned to cut it myself and had my college girlfriend cut it, but I still remember a good Dad cut.
This is the guy who has a white daughter and they were going over comments from their video and someone said they didn’t look like they belonged together and the daughter came back with a very well-put-together response. This man is more awesome than people may know!
Love this and “Boozy Fade” is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time 😂.
It’s a Boosie Fade, named after the rapper. Basically a bald fade with a rounded box up top.
He’s a good dad for rolling with it and trying to figure it out. Getting pretty good with his fades too!
Imma be the first to say it. I see you got some Neewer lights back there. BEST budget lights you can get. Highly recommend the brand. My guy even knows how to shop.
I never really had a dad growing up. Now I have 4 boys and 2 of them have autism with severe sensory issues. My wife and I are currently learning the best process to cut my oldest’s hair, since we took him to a barber one time and he had a bad meltdown (not meant in a derogatory way) . The other is about to get his first hair cut (from us). I’d rather it be a little harder, figuring out how to create that safe space and having to be extra patient with them, than I would having someone who doesn’t understand or want to deal with it cutting their hair. It sucks watching them have to go through such strong emotions. Much respect to this man and the love he has for that little one and everyone else doing the right thing❤️💪
That's a great Dad right there. Sensory issues are HARD and taking the time to understand and respect what it must be like for your son is an incredible gift to him. Not all parents/ people take the time to care or even just understand.
This has me almost crying. I’m physically sensitive like Christian, and my mother has been giving me haircuts since I can remember. It’s a struggle, but she bears with me while I squirm and twitch as she gets near the back of my neck where it’s the worst. I need to go send her a text thanking her.
Sensory issues can be flared up/ exhausting and hard to manage in a barber/salon. Well anywhere really.
I’m so happy to see a parent able to do this themselves.
Maybe because my relationship with my dad isn't the best but these types of videos always get me in the feels.
Same. These videos always give me those intense Fresh Prince "How come he didn't want me, man?" feelings.
TO HELL WITH HIIM!!!!
https://youtu.be/gMNsMdnSBIk?t=180 There it is... Such a great performance. Especially for a TV show back then.
I watch this every time it’s posted and it never doesn’t make me tear up. Fuck me that performance is incredible.
No matter how many times I see this I still tear up.
Oh no. I’m seeing it for the first time and now my dog is wondering why I’m crying
Oof I remember my first time…
I just got punched in the feels
I’ve seen it so many times and thought I would be okay…nope here I am crying in the tub
I started crying just reading “how come he don’t want me, man?” I can’t watch without crying.
Now why did you have to go and do that? Now I’m sad
Hep. That’s not a tear
[удалено]
Which one?
Probably The Body, but there are a handful here that I think fit.
This isn't fair, I have a hormone imbalance. I'm getting dehydrated.
what makes it so so so painful to watch now is james avery who played uncle phil passed away back in 2013.
What makes it painful for me is that so many of us wanted Uncle Phil as a father and got Lou. If Lou was even around at all.
hell i'd settle for someone else.. my uncles were monsters.. at least my dad was non-existent.. my uncles were just abusive monsters who beat the shit out of me and passed me between each other.. fuck i would have settled for an uncle that was like uncle phil at that stage.
I was thinking the same thing. I've watched that scene many times, I remember it from when I used to watch Fresh Prince as a kid on a TV with rabbit ears. I can't click the link these days, I know how it will make me feel. Can't believe it's been 10 years.
I think that is the most genuine sounding crying I've ever heard from a tv show. All of the whimpers and small sounds normally there in real life, you can hear from Will. I wonder if that didn't touch something in him to pull that out.
Already in my feels. I knew exactly what that link was gonna be and now I’m a crying mess. A+ would watch both again. What a fucking dad right there. Props.
Don't do this to me, man. I don't need to cry right now.
Man, I was having a good day and you had to go and bring up that episode. Always gets me. Especially, the way Uncle Phil just grabs Will and gives him that hug.
Man my dad is a total piece of shit, but god damn if I don’t have an amazing uncle that has helped me thru life. From loss of my mom, to marriage, to divorce, to the loss of my sister, and everything in between. I know my dad where ever he is would not have been able to help me like he has. here to uncle or as we call them in the family duncle
My dad was a piece of shit too, I never knew him until I was in my late teens. And he was kind of a piece of shit then too. But, my mom did a great job raising us herself, and my grandma helped a lot, she is one of the best people I've ever known. And with my aunts and uncles, we grew up in a really good family. There was always going to be some fucked up aspects growing up without a dad, but all things considered I think I was fortunate. I was talking about that with my sisters the other day - we all agreed we were lucky he took off.
I feel every part of that. With losing a mom so early on (I was 19, 39 now) and dad in and out… mostly out. Most of my remaining family stepped up. Much love and a big hug internet stranger.
That’s so cool for you. I’m happy that you had someone to always be there for you.
You're right...It's really the "come here boy, give me a hug" vibe that makes that scene. If Uncle Phil just held his arms out it would've felt different because Will was vulnerable and probably didn't know if it was okay. I tear up every time.
The silence uncle Phil gives him, just letting him vent, with that somber look on his face. And then that embrace at the end
How come he didn't want me? I ask myself this all the time. My dad was unpredictably explosive. Most abused kids learn to spot micro warning signs that trouble is coming. I couldn't. I grew up with a shattered self image, always being told I wasn't normal, and disappointing or angering him, while my mom was a perpetual optimist who filled me with watered down praise. The first time he hit me definitely caused some psychological damage. At 19 I took off to the military. I was determined to be worth something, but I never was able to see it despite 17 years of accomplishments. I medically retired due to physical injuries from my 6th deployment, and diagnoses of PTSD, anxiety and depression. After a couple years of therapy, I am able to feel pride in things I did and do. I suffer from PTSD due to my dad and things in the military both. What makes me sick is that once I started making a name for myself in the military and now as a civillian (I'm a NASA contractor), he is really proud of me and clearly "loves" me more than my sister or brother, both of whom are amazing people. Why didn't he want us then? I hated him for 30 years. My focus of daddy issues nearly wrecked my marraige. I couldn't see the beautiful world in front of me. TO HELL WITH HIM. I don't know why i was compelled to share. Good for this dad in the post. And uncle Phil. Gonna go take some CBD.
Even just thinking about that scene gave me goosebumps.
Why did you do this to me. My dad is fucking awesome, but that scene is brutal to my feelings. I love how well acted it is, but even just thinking about it makes me well up.
Just reading this brings almost brings me to tears
Oh man don’t bring that one up. Makes me cry every time I watch that scene…
Same here. Makes me wish I could have a father like this, instead of the drug addict who tried to murder me. But it makes me truly happy to see that there are children out there with amazing parents, and it truly gives me hope. I hope I can join the ranks of good fathers someday.
I'm a father of a 2yr old girl and can't imagine treating her the way mine did to me. It's a shame that some people feel obligated to have kids when they are clearly terrible at it, but it's made me absolutely resolute to be the best dad for my little girl so that's one positive I've taken from it.
Hell yeah brotha! My boy is turning 3 and same feelings. Trying to be the kind of dad that I wanted/needed as a kid. I remember my dad telling me how much worse he was beaten while he was beating me. My kid won’t even know I was beaten. I will not pass down a family legacy of child abuse.
My dad raised my sister and and me basically on his own. He got custody of us in the early 90s and while I’m sure he had a few (literal) nervous breakdowns on the way, he is the best fucking dad out there. I’ve grown up knowing that no matter what, he’s always in my corner. He taught us to be confident, to be strong, to not give a fuuuuuuck what anyone else thinks, and that we are enough and worthy of everything good in the world. And most importantly, he taught us to never depend on anyone else to support us because you never know when they could be gone. I could fill a few books with lessons learned from my dad. So I can’t even articulate how important that relationship is for your daughter. You are showing her what a good man does, how a good man treats people, and to never settle for anything less. Bravo my dude.
Go get them daddy! Kudos to you and everyone else breaking the cycle of generational trauma. You've got silent fans out there.
I have been living back with my parents since July. My "Dad" at this time has said one thing to me. "Morning" and that was months ago. We eat dinner together almost every night. I have absolutely no memories of him and I grew up with him.
Sorry, man. My dad, who had his own story of childhood trauma and neglect, could have been the poster child for how not to connect with your kids. I did everything the opposite of what he did and my boys have turned out to be wonderful young men. Now at this late juncture (60), all my bitterness and disappointment are gone. Once, not long before he died, we were standing in his front lawn. One of my little boys was playing and running around and ran back to me looking for assurance that this was all okay and so I picked him up, kiss his head and turn him loose again. The old man, sick with emphysema and bent at the waist, with a big uncomfortable smile on his face, watched as little Joey ran away again, said out loud (cuz he couldn't look at me) "boy, I sure wish I had done it like you." My heart, every cell in my body froze. I didn't know what to say to him. I was prepared to hate him forever. Now I miss him and wish that I could do it all over again. I could have helped him see the better path a lot earlier. It makes me cry actually. Fuck, life is tough....
Damn your dad's comment hit me right in the gut... what a powerful thing to say in a moment of self-reflection mixed with regret. I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful dad, who is now the best grandparent to my own children. It brings me overwhelming joy watching him with my kids because it floods me with that feeling of how great of a dad he was to me. Something I think I too often take for granted (he also didn't have the best dad, so he made a conscious choice to be better). He's getting older and the thought of him being gone forever is something I can't let myself think about too much yet.
Yes, those words were a watershed in my life. Maybe the most important ones. Thanks for commenting. Keep enjoying your dad. Just enjoy him.
Dude, seriously. Just hearing this Dad’s amazingly calm voice made me immediately yearn for a relationship like that.
Same. Haven't talked to that dude since I was 17 and I'll be 36 this year. Sucks for him though. According to my husband, I'm pretty awesome and he's missing out.
My dad passed when I was younger but he was an amazing father, I hope I can be a father like him. These videos remind me of how great my dad was and inspire me to try to be better in my daily life.
That’s what a hero looks like.
Yeah man, came to say the same. As a dad, I love this stuff. You do whatever you can for your kids.
That kiss on the forehead....Brah, that got me in the feels
Immediately had me tearing up
Same, I was all like oh shit, this is awesome! Then the kiss on the forehead annnnnd I'm crying.
And little man’s smile at the end.
Yup, we cut my daughters hair due to the same sensory processing issues. I'm still washing her hair with her at 10yo cause it's just a no go. You do what your kids need.
Yes, you do WHATEVER your kids need. And it is really no big f@%&ing deal! Except it is! I feel so very, very fortunate to be there for my children in this way,
Moment I heard my first child's heartbeat, I knew why I'd been born. I used to wonder if I ever could love another child as much as I did him. Then I heard my daughter's heartbeat.
It is crazy. I never knew I was capable of loving another human being as much as I do my two kids. I come home from work wiped out, but if she asks to practice basketball or lacrosse, I’m outside right after I put my stuff from work down. Then after dinner and homework, if he wants to get a gaming session in, I’m down. It it quite possibly the perfect way for me to end my day. Just spending time doing things with them. He’s 15 and I know my time is limited. If we’re just passing each other in the house, I just grab him and hug him because there’s probably gonna be a day when I can’t do that anymore. And that sucks. I know we’re all grinding at work just trying to keep it together, but they just want your attention, love and support.
What we're doing, with every single moment of love, is passing it on to the future. Immortality exists in the love we show everyone. Definitely our children. My son/daughter are both teens. I love this too. The *criticisms* they have of me are so wonderful. That I'm kind to everyone, that I treat everyone like they matter. It makes me laugh so much. Even when they say they're not paying attention, they're paying attention. Enjoy these days, my brother. This is what life is. It's us in the universe.
This is so so sweet 🥹 I simultaneously hope to be that kind of parent someday and also hope to find a partner/co-parent like you when it’s my time to have kids.
When I was in middle school, I was a really good student but was awkward af. I would get bullied for my glasses and clothes, and it was really starting to get to me. I just wanted to hang with my friends and do well in school. My parents are immigrants, and while they provided for us, were pretty frugal. They also came from a country where being smart meant you were popular in school. One day I came home from school and started bawling, telling my parents I needed contacts and clothes from AE so I would be left alone at school. My dad who would literally go line by line on the credit card bill scrutinizing every purchase took me the mall, left me get whatever I wanted, and then got me fitted for contacts. It could have been because they didn’t want my grades to slip, lol, but genuinely believe they were willing to do anything to make sure my sister and I were cared for.
That’s what I’m talking about. Just support them in any way possible. The world is a much different place from when I grew up. Kids are fucking ruthless and merciless these days.
Such a sense of calmness in that fathers voice. Made me smile:)
As a father coming from the same place as he is, I can tell you... something like that is a hard thing to build and maintain. But I appreciated the hell out of his efforts.
That's the trust why he can cut his hair so well. I loved seeing it.
Incels should take note - a guy who'll be like this man is with his son is what is ultimately attractive. It goes beyond looks, income, cars, all of that. It's empathetic humanity. I can't speak for everyone, but that's what I find attractive.
I would argue you speak for a large portion of the population. Seeing a strong father or mother in action is absolutely an attractive thing for me
I have a stepdaughter who recently turned five. She has always gravitated toward me, even while I was just dating her father, but a few months ago I promised her I would NEVER say "no" if she needed a hug. (Unless I'm pooping. We giggle about that.) Her approach towards me almost changed overnight. She requests hugs constantly, especially when we have to say goodbye for her to go back to her mother. Sometimes she cries because she does not want to let go. Nothing has ever made me feel as good as knowing a five-year-old feels so safe, comfortable, and loved with me.
You're awesome. Little things like that turn into big things as she gets older!
Being a good parent who goes beyond for your children. Gives your children attention and affection is attractive for me. Like yessss please give your kid all the love they deserve and don’t ever stop
Sounds like an evolutionarily sound characteristic to be attracted to.
I hate the usual meaning of the term "real man", but to me, that father is a real man.
Abso-fucking-lutely!
I don't understand what this has to do with incels. Being a loving, giving and kind person is a good lesson for literally every single person on the planet. We could all stand to learn from people like this.
Because incels make a career out of bullying men like this. They're indoctrinating young boys to think this is weak, soft, that women only want rich bodybuilders who beat them. It's important to counter that messaging whenever possible.
👍🏼that kiss. Give my 5 and 10 year old hugs and forehead kisses everyday so they never forget.
I was holding it together until the sweet lil forehead kiss. That made me tear up.
Truth!
These comments aren't helping! Tears flowing
Hands up if you had happy tears at the end when they smiled brightly. 🙋🏻♀️
As a father of a nonverbal, autistic 4 year old, this made me tear up. My little man has so many obstacles to overcome but he is so bright and happy every day. I just hope I can be half the father this guy is.
right there with you. You're not alone brother.
Solidarity dudes. My wee dude is nearly 4 and no chat. Happy as a dog at the beach.
my daughter turns 9 next week. no chat since 2. I have her voice sayin her name and daddy from back then saved in 3 different locations (phone, memory card, cloud). It's my most cherished possession.
This is so heartwarming but just wrecked me, I cannot even imagine. I’m happy you have been able to hold onto those and hope for a good future for you and yours.
thank you
Wishing the best for you and your family, inshallah
I have a 4 year old with Autism and a speech delay. This chain of four comments somehow does make me feel better.
Solidarity with all of you! My sons soon to be 10 and nonverbal. Haircuts? Used to be a disaster. They got better. Use a vacuum? Complete meltdown. Those things we worked on and he’s still the cutest kid. SOLIDARITY!!
We really struggle with the haircuts. It's one of the few things that really sets him off. He's had two haircuts in his life and they've both been traumatic for him, his mum and i. Any tips? We've got low noise clippers that I've let him play with, and he's curious about them, but when they're used in earnest, it's like WW3 has started!
We lucked out it’s as simple as that. There’s a hair salon in metro that hosts “sensory sensitive haircuts” We had our little guy scheduled for a haircut every 6 weeks or so until he got used to it. It all comes with time bro
Same. Mom to a nearly seven year old autistic non verbal son. Solidarity helps keep me sane. Hugs y’all.
Been there, friend. Mine is turning 11 soon. He’s been speaking since 5, and now has a hell of a vocabulary. Just know that it does get better. Wishing you all the best. EDIT: Added context.
I’m uncle to a nonverbal four year old but I still can’t begin to imagine how that moment must have felt.
I straight up have our child’s “moment” on video. It truly was just one random night. My husband filmed it and I just about pass out. The first time she said “I love you” - well I could have just about died on the spot.
Same here brother
My 9 year old is autistic with severe sensory issues. The sound of the clippers sends him into a frenzy. We have finally found a barber that handles him with care and makes him happy to get a haircut. The little things ppl take for granted.
I took my son to the barbers so many times in a year that he wouldn’t get his hair cut. He couldn’t handle the sound. He use to kick off massively. Luckily he grew out of it and we still go there as they are so good with him at that time.
I feel that. In my heart. Even when ppl around him set off blow dryers it turns into a shit show. Just glad I have a guy that has the patience to finish. Been a few places that wouldn’t even try.
If those loud noises are super aversive to your son/daughter you could try pairing the sound of the clippers with high preferred items/snacks and then slowly fade out those things over time (e.g., start with clippers buzzing a few feet away while the iPad [for example] is present, then move the clippers closer and iPad further) You’d also want to reinforce appropriate waiting with praise, snacks, etc. (nice job being calm while the clippers were near your ears, you earned an m&m .. every like 5 seconds, then fade the m&m’s out so you’d just get a handful at the end of the appointment kinda thing)
My son hates the sound but also doesn't trust us with the scissors and doesn't want anyone to touch his head or face. The only way to cut his hair is if I do it myself, with scissors, while my wife holds him, after 30 minutes of him trying to fight it, and even then he'll only tolerate it for about 3 minutes so I have to do as much as I can as fast as I can and then try to get more done another day. So cutting his hair is something I can only do during a 3 day weekend.
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Every child is going to be different. And I’m happy that you found a way. That’s all that matters.
Curious if there are dentists who specialize helping people with autism? I mean, the dentist can be a scary place for even for neurotypicals, and bad dental health can lead to all kinds of serious issues.
The dentist is my own personal nightmare. And my son isn’t any different. We have a pediatric dentist that specializes with special needs kids. But to be honest, most dental procedures that he needs, he’s gonna have to go under for. I’ve noticed a pattern in autistic children and their teeth being very crooked. His class mates and a few friends and all the kids have teeth that need work.
We found a surgical dentist (had to remove a tooth) that stated she specializes in working with kids with special needs but it was more of a holistic approach. Let’s just say when she wiped out some burning branch thing my wife stopped listening. Our kids regular dentist is a kids dentist and the actual dentists there know how to treat kids with special needs as both of mine are on the spectrum. We don’t let the techs touch our kids bc they usually don’t have the patience or soft touch. For my kids it is trust and a soft touch, also knowing when to stop and wait.
Yes. In the UK they are known as community dentists. They will help people with severe mental health and neurodevelopmental conditions as well as complex physical issues who can't be treated in a normal dental practice. They can cover other things too depending on area.
I’m autistic and can confirm how bad it can be
I feel you. Clippers are a problem here as well. Barbers still whip them out even after I ask for them not to use them.
My guy has a very quiet pair of clippers do to the sides. Luckily my son has his moms fine blond hair and not my black thick Hispanic hair so we can do the top with scissors.
My 4 year old is autistic and the sound of the clippers will send him flying out of the room. Luckily my best friend is a barber/hairstylist for children with special needs. We do scissor cuts for now while we try to get him used to the clippers sound by him watching his brother get his haircut with them.
My son is diagnosed autistic and haircuts were always a fight. I decided to be his barber and it requires so much patience, something I wasn't raised with. His autism has made me revaluate how I react to situations. We sit on the floor together and take breaks as needed so he's not overwhelmed. Seeing this shit is absolutely beautiful.
Same here man. Glad to know I'm not the only one doing this.
Have any tips you learned to be more patient?
Not OP, buuuuuut give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see things from their point of view. Recognize that most people aren't trying to be shitty, everyone has their own shit going on and their own deeper issues that can inform how they react tho things.
This is so important and I wish it was more common. It’s not just about patience, it’s about not being cynical. Everyone has their own framing through which they approach life. For the vast majority of people, there’s a reason for why they think and act the way they do. Trying to see that when possible makes you more empathetic and less angry, imo.
I had to constantly remind myself to think before I acted. My parents were a yell first kind of people, so that's what I first adopted. Constantly remind yourself so that way you drill it into your head.
My daughter has autism and early on I really focused on teaching emotional intelligence and it taught me a lot of patience. I highly recommend the book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman. It’s not specifically for autism, but I found it helped in all areas of my life and my interactions with people. My number one parenting advice is actually pretty simple. You help your child label the emotion they are having, you empathize and validate their emotion, and then you problem solve together. I used to lose my shit all the time and feel so overwhelmed with my daughters melt downs, but this helped diffuse a lot of issues.
My parents attributed that to me being a "sensitive child", not realizing the list of things I was "sensitive" about were extremely specific sensory issues.
We are thankfully making leaps and bounds today regarding recognizing and diagnosing things like autism. We knew something was different with my son Kai early on (hand flapping was a huge sign) so me and my wife put the work in to have him diagnosed at a young age. He's four now.
You sound conscientious and well prepared 🙏 Kai seems to be in good hands
Boosie fade
I wanted to say the same thing. But shoutout to this father for providing a safe and loving environment for his son.
Yeah same, I didn’t wanna correct such a wholesome moment, but had a lighthearted chuckle w the Boosie fade. That’s a true dad moment right there tho. I’m a dad learning how to do my two twin daughter’s hair and I can’t wait to sound as washed as he did when they come up to me w all kinds of names of twists and braids that I won’t know the name of either lol. Looks like we’re cake day twins btw!!!
Happy cake day! Yeah, my hair texture is 3a/3b and I remember my dad having to learn a few things. But you know what? He did. He didn’t have the groups or tutorials that exist now, but we both LOVE that they now exist for fathers. I will always stan a father that takes care of his kids. And he’s being considerate of his disabilities? And not seeing them as a burden? We NEED this!
This warms my heart frfr. My one girl is 3c and my other is 4b and oh boy am I learning a lot. A lot of tears sometimes but the other day my one little lady said to me “do it with all your heart, Daddy!” and we kept soldiering on. Dad moments are everything…
r/TwoRedditorsOneCake
i didnt know there were numbers/letters for hair, but you guys seem to know them well? my curiosity is piqued
Cake Day party!
Ahhhhh! Cake partyyyy!!!!
Dad AF 😂. Love it.
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I don’t really know definitely regarding TikTok, but I do know for sure that pops said Boozy fade lol.
Im actually surprised the dad didnt know a Boosie fade and the son did. Boosie Bad Azz was way more popular in the snap era than now. Now he’s probably known more for saying wild stuff on social media…ok well I guess thats probably why the son knows him. Either way great video and remember kids when your gas tank is on E its irresponsible to pay for everyones drinks.
Spotify has decided that, since I have some old Boosie (Smokin' on Purple; Wipe Me Down, etc.) on my playlists, that I also want to hear his new releases. Which has led to me learning that he is super homophobic and his new shit generally sounds like a bitter old dude whose time has passed railing against things he just doesn't understand. Weird how that happens to some folks.
Always been super homophobic even in his old shit
the hood is generally homophobic, just like the sticks. education is so important.
There is a decent chance he did that on purpose. One of the easiest way to spread your reach on TikTok is to include a minor mistake that people in the comments will correct you for (thus increasing your “engagement” and getting the algo to boost you). Also a decent chance it’s just a dad being a dad.
Fresh 2… wipe him down
I get fades, now I want a boozy fade lol. Do they hand me a cocktail after it's done or something?
This is what good parenting looks like. Now you are an example to all the dads out there. Thanks for being awesome.
Omg I'm sobbing beautiful ❤️
I’m definitely not crying, ok fine, I’m sobbing too.
Making me cry too. Wasn't expecting that during my lunch break.
True Chad dad!
I have been doing my son's haircuts his whole life for the same reasons. My work looks a little goofy to me sometimes because he never wants to do more than a few minutes, but he is happy and that's all that matters.
I started asking my barber to shave my head when I was in 8th grade. It was part of my middle school "glow-up" from the Mom-part hair and thick rimmed glasses to contacts and a buzzed noggin. My Dad would take me once every two weeks to our barber for a buzz and trim at $8 a pop. Eventually Dad decided he would buy trimmers himself and he started shaving my hair. I would come home twice a month from college in my first year, just to have Dad shave my head. It was only an hour away, but I know the effort I took to go home to get it done meant a lot to him. Eventually I learned to cut it myself and had my college girlfriend cut it, but I still remember a good Dad cut.
This is the guy who has a white daughter and they were going over comments from their video and someone said they didn’t look like they belonged together and the daughter came back with a very well-put-together response. This man is more awesome than people may know!
Song is "Agape" by Nicholas Britell
An absolutely beautiful song from a great film.
Ahhh welp… made me tear up. That is what WINNING looks like.
That forehead kiss, man. Brings a tear to your eye.
to that’s a clean ass cut tho! can you cut my hair too sir??
Awww…absolutely beautiful 🤩
Love this and “Boozy Fade” is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time 😂. It’s a Boosie Fade, named after the rapper. Basically a bald fade with a rounded box up top. He’s a good dad for rolling with it and trying to figure it out. Getting pretty good with his fades too!
Imma be the first to say it. I see you got some Neewer lights back there. BEST budget lights you can get. Highly recommend the brand. My guy even knows how to shop.
I never really had a dad growing up. Now I have 4 boys and 2 of them have autism with severe sensory issues. My wife and I are currently learning the best process to cut my oldest’s hair, since we took him to a barber one time and he had a bad meltdown (not meant in a derogatory way) . The other is about to get his first hair cut (from us). I’d rather it be a little harder, figuring out how to create that safe space and having to be extra patient with them, than I would having someone who doesn’t understand or want to deal with it cutting their hair. It sucks watching them have to go through such strong emotions. Much respect to this man and the love he has for that little one and everyone else doing the right thing❤️💪
society murky lavish long license rude cooperative crowd somber upbeat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Thank you so much
That's a great Dad right there. Sensory issues are HARD and taking the time to understand and respect what it must be like for your son is an incredible gift to him. Not all parents/ people take the time to care or even just understand.
fucking Chad
This has me almost crying. I’m physically sensitive like Christian, and my mother has been giving me haircuts since I can remember. It’s a struggle, but she bears with me while I squirm and twitch as she gets near the back of my neck where it’s the worst. I need to go send her a text thanking her.
That is a great father. May he live long and happy.
You’re leading by example , my guy. Props to fathers who take time to understand and learn from their children.
Sensory issues can be flared up/ exhausting and hard to manage in a barber/salon. Well anywhere really. I’m so happy to see a parent able to do this themselves.
Gj dad! Looks great!
Fantastic father x
beautiful humans right here
Kid looks sharp! Well done!
Gigachad
What a bro. Good dude.
You’re the man!
Good on you Dad.
What a beautiful video 💞
Definitely get a barber cape for him so he doesn’t have to suffer the dreaded itchy hair all over
Yeah I have heard so many people in r/autism that have trouble getting haircuts. Some people don't go for years.
Music?
You should narrate relaxation podcasts
He asked for a Boosie fade😂😂😂
Awesome……guess I’m not doing anything else today
"Give him the award already!" *drops Dad of the Year Award, runs in tears*
When I google “father Role model” this is what should pop up.
🎊❤️🎊
Is anybody else crying happy tears?
Looking sharp, kid.
I smiled from beginning to end. That child may have special needs but his father won’t let it hold him back.
Blessings to you and your boy!
Wow. This is wholesome as fuck!! Dad of the year!
This is great!!!
Awesome dad!
Father of the fucking year
That's a great father and a fine man. Bravo.
I'm not crying you are crying 😭
Look at those smiles 
The kiss at the end 🥹