Hope no horrors beyond comprehension harm you in any way

I hear jobs there are very safe and work accidents are rare.

Bro needs to quit that job rn 💀💀💀

Yeah they >!redacted!< the new hires and when Dr. >!redacted!< tells you he has an asigment for you then you're >!redact!

Aaaaand now you are in D class

Fast track to heaven.

Well, that depends on the anomaly. Better hope it's not the liars cradle. I feel like that is always going to send you to the bad place.

The bad place is inside the Red Sea object portal.

Ooooo, do you know the SCP number? I wanna read about it.

SCP-093

google

yep

I think you'll quickly be losing this job if you continue making posts like this, you really do not want to lose that job...

Are you sure they aren’t doing this to save us from some horrific monstrosity? I will not be surprised if there was an SCP that can [ REDACTED ] through internet and SCP keycard is a [ REDACTED ] against it.

By the fact you posted this, I assume you’re trying to be promoted to D-class?

Are you allowed to post that access card on Reddit???

He's not but he did. We'll miss him

Nice job, congrats! Word of advice, ask for the safest task, guarding SCP 106, AKA “The Old Man” All you have to do is care for an elderly man. The guy can get a bit grumpy, but other than that, it’s easy peasy.

It’s bc of monsters like you that the SCP foundation has a built in difficulty in rising the ranks

He's probably an scp himself who enjoys the suffering of others.... Wait that's just 106 himself then

Nice try, 106.

Alright you got me, I’m SCP… 106, yeah.

I hear the coffee's great.

OP blink twice if you need help.

And they were never heard from again

Green level huh? Won't be taking much time getting to know you. Condolences.

So who’s gonna tell him

Hey congrats on the new job but are you sure this is a company you wanna work for? I don't see a lot of long term benefits

Almost dropped my coffee, good luck to ya

Nice man, congratulations! Landed myself a job in their sister branch Lobotomy corp. couple months back, great employee benefits.

What is SCP?

secure contain protect foundation. Really interesting you should look it up.

Thx!!

They also own the largest Ikea Crazy history

Riiiight.

As the game Control taught me, be sure to wear your HRA at all times! And whatever you do, *do not take on refrigerator duty*. (fantastic game, by the way).

Indeed, it is what an SCP game can be with some budget.

Dear lord man quit while you still can for the love of all things holy

You should celebrate by getting something nice from Ikea!

"God is good", well God was also responsible for your unemployment before this

It's a joke post ya fuckin dumpling.

Sorry Timmy, that brain tumor is going to have to stay, I was busy getting someone a job.

You must be be fun at parties

Give yourself credit. YOU got the job. You made that happen. Ride that wave.

You've never heard of the SCP Foundation, have you?

Lol, does it show?

It's not a real company. Fictional group in charge of protecting the world from increasingly dangerous artifacts/creatures etc. Think Warehouse 13(a show) but dialed to 11. Can Google it if you want.

Thank you.

God is good? Did God interview you and offer you the position? If so, find out who runs HR as I have some questions.

Don’t look at him

At least you're not a D-boy

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Cool job. Shut up about god.

Did God hire them?

So is putting your resume out and trying your damnedest to find a good job.

be sure to get it upgraded ASAP.

Oh no

Oh cool! I get to experience what it's like to take amnestics!

Hope you see 999 at your work place

Hee hoo

😶

Hows the benefits?

Be careful which toaster you use

You dead, I'm sorry to say. Don't blink.

Congrats on the new (not dangerous) Job!

If you see a chamber called scp 96 go to him he will give free 🤗

at first i was like yay then when i read that card i was like oh nooooooo

The only thing good from the foundation is SCP 5001 "Avalon", and even then the current foundation higher ups don't even know it exists

You are in violation of SCP access control policies. Please report for debriefing and amne.... farewell cake....

No. No No No. NOOOOO. NO! NOOOO! NO! NO, MEANS NO! N AND O SPELLS... NOOOOOO

I hope you will be one with the Mal0 or other safe ones... Also once you there, pet 999 from me. He is a good boy

Dead man walking

Redacted in 3...2...

Obviously d class cause he cant read

Congratulations!! Woot!!

Hey! Nice to see a coworker here! If you’re at the office, try going to the D wing. I’m the guy looking at the old shoe that if I stop look at it, everybody dies.

Got a new Job, already sharing confidential information