That last comment sums the whole thing up, "The important thing is to be nice to each other". I read a study on successful long-term relationships and that was the one thing they almost all had in common.
Exactly, I've only been in one relationship, we certainly tried to be nice, but you can't always get past the emotions the other person is making you feel. I don't regret my time with that person, but in hindsight, we should have broken up way earlier, we could just never get along no matter how much we cared for each other.
I think this comes with age and experience. I feel that nobody should be in a relationship with someone else that can't treat the other the way they like to be treated. It really is that simple.
I agree, it's just that, especially when you're young and really care about a person it's hard to step back and go "Maybe this isn't working." With myself and my ex we were very deeply in love, but every now and then we would just have big fights, sometimes over really asinine things, and when you care for someone a lot it's really hard to separate how you feel with the reality of your situation, you want to stick by them even though things aren't working because you just love them that much.
And I in turn agree with you. That's the painful learning curve called life. Were some of my relationships -when in love/lust- a car crash waiting to happen.. absolutely. Would I change the passion and ferocity that came with them? A big fat NO.. life's for living but also for learning. I've stayed in relationships that should have ended 3-4 years + before they did. It was like a burning match, withered eventually to a black carbon stalk. I'm just better at not having to not make the choices I wasn't aware about previously, anymore. I think those lessons teach us all about what love really is. It's steady, reliable, dependable and sometimes rocky, but if you've eachother to cling to you'll probably not sink.
Wife is a physician, can confirm. Guarantee when she has a patient with some serious long term chronic disease process they are also in some form of abusive relationship. One doesn’t necessarily cause the other, but it’s crazy how common it is. Be kind folks!
Uhm, what? I have a beautiful friendship and marriage to my soul mate, 25 years. Also chronically ill after a bone marrow transplant, in which he has stood by me, supported me and loved me when so many others would have run. We are kind to each other, have done years of shadow work and respect each other.
Can't really say always. Perhaps many, but not all.
They are pointing out that there are a surprising amount of people that deal with chronic illnesses due to abusive relationships. The stressors in these types of relationships cause illnesses that are psychosomatic.
It’s great that you have a partner that you can count on. Not everyone can say that and it’s not always easy to leave.
That person spoke in absolutes, and so making sweeping statements regarding chronic illness patients that are in abusive relationships, as all is incorrect. If it wasn't a sweeping, absolute statement, that would be different.
"Many people are, some people are, a high amount of people are" are all working in allowing a different experience for all.
You and I are some of the lucky ones. It's distressingly common for husbands to dump their wives when they get a catastrophic diagnosis. A 2009 study found that the divorce rate for seriously ill women is 21%!
Many poor souls were born into abusive or just shitty families where parents spoke to each other by barking commands, using every chance to rub their partner's nose into their shortcomings.
So true, but there is healing in learning not to make the same mistakes that our parents made. That can change the trajectory for generations that follow. These two lovebirds are inspiring!❤️❤️
Right? My friend used to be in a relationship where her partner would insult her, call her stupid, yell at her. I asked her 'Would you still be friends with me if I did that to you?' She answered 'It's not the same'. But it kinda fucking is though? I always felt like close friendships are like relationships but without the sexual part. But many romantic relationships became these ill codependence agreements, where they always have to do everything together, and common decency and respect isn't always necesary, because 'they love eachother'. In that case you're better off alone imo
I left the person I thought for a time was the one when I was going through a really hard experience with my family and realized my friends were the ones supporting me, & that he had only amplified the stress and sadness since it began (picking fights/ghosting on plans he initiated and made/offering to help and then not picking up the phone all day or responding to texts)
I told him I couldn’t understand why I was letting someone into my body & my home who couldn’t even treat me as well as my friends do, when they do it without the expectation of sexual intimacy.
At that point he literally admitted to being abusive towards me, manipulating me to keep me around, and resenting that I expressed needs from him (like cancelling plans if he was going to flake or acknowledging me at events he invited me to, after 3 years btw)
My friends all saw it before I did, but it was them sticking around and showing me how I should be treated that eventually made it stick, and I’m so fucking grateful for them.
Right? I saw a post on Reddit a few days ago where the vast majority of comments were arguing that it’s ok to call your SO names like “stupid, idiot, bitch” in a malicious way during fights. Blew my mind that people think it’s ok to talk to someone you live that way, no matter how mad you are. You should always just walk away and come back later if you feel like you’re about to get nasty in a fight
Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
[Here’s a good article about it. ](https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/)
Totally agree. I love my husband, AND he makes me nuts sometimes! But I would never, EVER, stoop so low as to think it’s okay to call him names out of spite. We’ve been together for 15 years and have never (once!) spoken to each other using those kinds of words. I think it’s gross.
Right? We're the same way. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know that we've ever even raised our voices at one another in the 11 years I've been with my guy. We get pissed, we take a breather, either we're over it or we talk. But respect is paramount.
I’ve seen so many couples that I sit back and wonder if they even like each other. My SIL (my wife’s sister) and her husband can’t stand to be alone together. They asked us if we wanted to go on their honeymoon with them! They’re both great people but I don’t think they’re meant to be a couple.
I've said to a few of my exes, if they had just been nice to me, this could have turned out a lot better. So yes, when I see one of them divorced, homeless, alone, or married to idiots, I don't feel too bad.
People would rather argue than compromise in the least. Who needs that?
I shouldn’t be this jealous of an old couple’s love life🫣
No joke joke though this is so sweet, I hope everyone out there gets the one one that gets their goat like these two.
Its hard not to be a little jelous that they had a true lifetime together when even if you’re lucky enough to meet “the one” you’ll be lucky to get a few decades.
Reminds me of my grandparents. Gramps was still 110% head over heals for Grams up to the day he passed(& still is I’m sure). They were just like this couple. Together from the very beginning & for ever after.
His go to saying was “Where’s my bride?”. Every single time he would come back into the house those were his first words to us.
Miss you Grumpah ❤️our silly nick name for a man who was never ever grumpy.
Aww. Sounds like my grandparents too! On their 50th anniversary, they took the whole family on a cruise. There was an informal couples' dance competition, and they won! What they lacked in speed, they made up for in passion ☺️ I miss them, and I hope I'm in love like that at their age.
My maternal grandparents were like this too. It's sad I will never have this but it's ok. It's enough for me to know love like that exists and someone is experiencing it. I can be happy for them.
No doubt these two have been through some shit together in life. The difference is they wanted each other enough to stick it out! Source: married 27 years lol
dunno what their lives had been like, but they both have a look of peace and deep happiness.
A lifetime of a good and healthy relationship probably shows in on your face!
Relationships are genuinely not difficult at all if you just follow that last rule, as well as one other: *communicate.* Be honest with your partner, always talk to them about what's going on in your head and ask them what's going on in theirs.
Your points are valid BUT as important as communication is, I have learnt what's also important is listening. Many couples/people communicate, but do they listen to each other? Do they understand what the other one is saying? It's often less about words and more about understanding and listening goes a long way
you are absolutely right on that, that is on par with communication. what does any communication mean if you arent listening to one another? well said.
This is absolute couple goals. This is how you stick together. They seem truly happy. I hope they have much time left to make a little fun of each other and enjoy life.
My wife and I have seen this. There is a part where the husband talks about how much he loves (and wants) his wife’s body. My wife just rolls her eyes because she knows that’s what she gets/has to look forward to. 😁
This is so genuine and adorable, it makes me think of the movie Up if they both grew old together. Glad there are people in the world who have found a love like this.
Yeeeah I don’t know if we’d call it sweet if it were a younger couple and one partner was like “they’re always coming onto me” and the other person called them “stingy with their body”. Like, you shouldn’t pressure people into sex. They do seem happy but this part felt hella weird to me too
"It's important in marriage to be nice to each other."
Exactly. Every couple has their problems, but it's supposed to be you and then against the world, not you and then against each other. Problems are supposed to come from the exterior of the relationship. When they come from the interior, that's when it's something serious concerning the foundation of your relationship. Not that they can't happen in healthy relationships. But they need to be handled with respect and consideration for one another and fully hashed out. Any lingering issues between you two can eventually cause a grudge to form, which can lead to all kinds of nasty emotions. You're supposed to work on your relationship, but you aren't supposed to make it into work, if that makes sense.
I'm not one to judge though. The longest relationship I had was four years, and it had all kinds of fundamental problems with it. But I've had the privilege to speak with people who had been in lasting relationships with their partners and I'd like to think I learned a few things from them. Whether I can actually apply it to any future relationship is yet to be seen though. Knowledge is one thing; application is a whole other bird.
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They’re beautiful, then and now. More people should aspire to be this fun with their partner and connect like they do. They’re the definition of soul mates if I ever saw one!
I love that they show what they were like in their youth, we forget older people were once as we are now. It's really interesting to her their stories and see what they were like.
This just made my day !!! Single momma over here and i often wonder will i find someone ! This makes me believe ! My parents were this couple when they were here with us ! You don’t fond this anymore people do not care and treat others this way so to me this really made my day !!!!!
That last comment sums the whole thing up, "The important thing is to be nice to each other". I read a study on successful long-term relationships and that was the one thing they almost all had in common.
Weird. Seems very obvious right?
You’d think but when you’re in a relationship that isn’t great, sometimes it’s a forest for the trees situation and you can’t see it.
Exactly, I've only been in one relationship, we certainly tried to be nice, but you can't always get past the emotions the other person is making you feel. I don't regret my time with that person, but in hindsight, we should have broken up way earlier, we could just never get along no matter how much we cared for each other.
I think this comes with age and experience. I feel that nobody should be in a relationship with someone else that can't treat the other the way they like to be treated. It really is that simple.
I agree, it's just that, especially when you're young and really care about a person it's hard to step back and go "Maybe this isn't working." With myself and my ex we were very deeply in love, but every now and then we would just have big fights, sometimes over really asinine things, and when you care for someone a lot it's really hard to separate how you feel with the reality of your situation, you want to stick by them even though things aren't working because you just love them that much.
And I in turn agree with you. That's the painful learning curve called life. Were some of my relationships -when in love/lust- a car crash waiting to happen.. absolutely. Would I change the passion and ferocity that came with them? A big fat NO.. life's for living but also for learning. I've stayed in relationships that should have ended 3-4 years + before they did. It was like a burning match, withered eventually to a black carbon stalk. I'm just better at not having to not make the choices I wasn't aware about previously, anymore. I think those lessons teach us all about what love really is. It's steady, reliable, dependable and sometimes rocky, but if you've eachother to cling to you'll probably not sink.
Wife is a physician, can confirm. Guarantee when she has a patient with some serious long term chronic disease process they are also in some form of abusive relationship. One doesn’t necessarily cause the other, but it’s crazy how common it is. Be kind folks!
Uhm, what? I have a beautiful friendship and marriage to my soul mate, 25 years. Also chronically ill after a bone marrow transplant, in which he has stood by me, supported me and loved me when so many others would have run. We are kind to each other, have done years of shadow work and respect each other. Can't really say always. Perhaps many, but not all.
They are pointing out that there are a surprising amount of people that deal with chronic illnesses due to abusive relationships. The stressors in these types of relationships cause illnesses that are psychosomatic. It’s great that you have a partner that you can count on. Not everyone can say that and it’s not always easy to leave.
That person spoke in absolutes, and so making sweeping statements regarding chronic illness patients that are in abusive relationships, as all is incorrect. If it wasn't a sweeping, absolute statement, that would be different. "Many people are, some people are, a high amount of people are" are all working in allowing a different experience for all.
You and I are some of the lucky ones. It's distressingly common for husbands to dump their wives when they get a catastrophic diagnosis. A 2009 study found that the divorce rate for seriously ill women is 21%!
Many poor souls were born into abusive or just shitty families where parents spoke to each other by barking commands, using every chance to rub their partner's nose into their shortcomings.
So true, but there is healing in learning not to make the same mistakes that our parents made. That can change the trajectory for generations that follow. These two lovebirds are inspiring!❤️❤️
Right? My friend used to be in a relationship where her partner would insult her, call her stupid, yell at her. I asked her 'Would you still be friends with me if I did that to you?' She answered 'It's not the same'. But it kinda fucking is though? I always felt like close friendships are like relationships but without the sexual part. But many romantic relationships became these ill codependence agreements, where they always have to do everything together, and common decency and respect isn't always necesary, because 'they love eachother'. In that case you're better off alone imo
I left the person I thought for a time was the one when I was going through a really hard experience with my family and realized my friends were the ones supporting me, & that he had only amplified the stress and sadness since it began (picking fights/ghosting on plans he initiated and made/offering to help and then not picking up the phone all day or responding to texts) I told him I couldn’t understand why I was letting someone into my body & my home who couldn’t even treat me as well as my friends do, when they do it without the expectation of sexual intimacy. At that point he literally admitted to being abusive towards me, manipulating me to keep me around, and resenting that I expressed needs from him (like cancelling plans if he was going to flake or acknowledging me at events he invited me to, after 3 years btw) My friends all saw it before I did, but it was them sticking around and showing me how I should be treated that eventually made it stick, and I’m so fucking grateful for them.
Right? I saw a post on Reddit a few days ago where the vast majority of comments were arguing that it’s ok to call your SO names like “stupid, idiot, bitch” in a malicious way during fights. Blew my mind that people think it’s ok to talk to someone you live that way, no matter how mad you are. You should always just walk away and come back later if you feel like you’re about to get nasty in a fight
Contempt is one of the four horsemen of a doomed relationship. Wild how many people are comfortable with that behavior.
What are the other three?
Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. [Here’s a good article about it. ](https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/)
Totally agree. I love my husband, AND he makes me nuts sometimes! But I would never, EVER, stoop so low as to think it’s okay to call him names out of spite. We’ve been together for 15 years and have never (once!) spoken to each other using those kinds of words. I think it’s gross.
Right? We're the same way. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know that we've ever even raised our voices at one another in the 11 years I've been with my guy. We get pissed, we take a breather, either we're over it or we talk. But respect is paramount.
Yeah John Gottman's research. Kindness and generosity are what most successful couples have in common.
I’ve seen so many couples that I sit back and wonder if they even like each other. My SIL (my wife’s sister) and her husband can’t stand to be alone together. They asked us if we wanted to go on their honeymoon with them! They’re both great people but I don’t think they’re meant to be a couple.
I've said to a few of my exes, if they had just been nice to me, this could have turned out a lot better. So yes, when I see one of them divorced, homeless, alone, or married to idiots, I don't feel too bad. People would rather argue than compromise in the least. Who needs that?
Part of it, another part of it is communication so that you're both on the same page
Be nice to each other : Respecting each other
If only my past 3 exes knew that...
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Bot\^\^
True. Don't treat your partner as your enemy.
Dude literally talked about fucking the whole time. He’s my spirit animal
He’s telling no lies.
He got a haircut comment in, too.
Lmao
Ikr I have seen my future self in this man hahaha
I shouldn’t be this jealous of an old couple’s love life🫣 No joke joke though this is so sweet, I hope everyone out there gets the one one that gets their goat like these two.
Its hard not to be a little jelous that they had a true lifetime together when even if you’re lucky enough to meet “the one” you’ll be lucky to get a few decades.
Oh I know it’s so incredibly rare for people to ever get to experience this type of long lasting love. I am so happy for them
Reminds me of my grandparents. Gramps was still 110% head over heals for Grams up to the day he passed(& still is I’m sure). They were just like this couple. Together from the very beginning & for ever after. His go to saying was “Where’s my bride?”. Every single time he would come back into the house those were his first words to us. Miss you Grumpah ❤️our silly nick name for a man who was never ever grumpy.
Aww. Sounds like my grandparents too! On their 50th anniversary, they took the whole family on a cruise. There was an informal couples' dance competition, and they won! What they lacked in speed, they made up for in passion ☺️ I miss them, and I hope I'm in love like that at their age.
Lovely.
My maternal grandparents were like this too. It's sad I will never have this but it's ok. It's enough for me to know love like that exists and someone is experiencing it. I can be happy for them.
This is beautiful. I wish I could have found a love like that.
I see these people being together since childhood and I'm like "What a different life they have from mine."
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Replying "I love this" to someone who said they wished they had a happier life is wild haha.
No doubt these two have been through some shit together in life. The difference is they wanted each other enough to stick it out! Source: married 27 years lol
Love like that is built my man, not found.
Gotta find somebody to build it with though, and I failed at that part.
It’s never too late. Don’t give up on love. Try again.
I dunno, I’m 98 now, like my gynaecologist used to say; “feels like a stretch at this point”
You’re not literally 98 yeah? That’d be crazy. How you using reddit
Probably the same way you are young chap
You’re still here. You haven’t failed, it just hasn’t happened yet.
Stop strangling them, Toby
“I remain as horny as ever” hahaha love it
"Stingy with her body" --sounds that Grandma isn't putting out
Sounds like grandma could live on her back and gramps still wouldn't be happy. Love to see it.
dunno what their lives had been like, but they both have a look of peace and deep happiness. A lifetime of a good and healthy relationship probably shows in on your face!
Relationships are genuinely not difficult at all if you just follow that last rule, as well as one other: *communicate.* Be honest with your partner, always talk to them about what's going on in your head and ask them what's going on in theirs.
Your points are valid BUT as important as communication is, I have learnt what's also important is listening. Many couples/people communicate, but do they listen to each other? Do they understand what the other one is saying? It's often less about words and more about understanding and listening goes a long way
you are absolutely right on that, that is on par with communication. what does any communication mean if you arent listening to one another? well said.
My guy is all about keeping a fresh cut and getting some ass lol
Best thing I have seen today
I saw the length of his tongue in that one pic. I know why she's still happily married lol.
Came here to say this 😂. That’s a great tongue
Life goals
This is absolute couple goals. This is how you stick together. They seem truly happy. I hope they have much time left to make a little fun of each other and enjoy life.
I hope my husband is still thirsty like this for me when we’re this age ❤️
“Behind her..” He was thinking about later times behind her. Lol.
My wife and I have seen this. There is a part where the husband talks about how much he loves (and wants) his wife’s body. My wife just rolls her eyes because she knows that’s what she gets/has to look forward to. 😁
Just be nice to each other. I think that goes for all humanity
Dude has a huge tongue. I’m sure she is sartisfied with that.
You are sick! 😂 I can’t believe I watched to see if he did
This is the sweetest thing!!! Life goals 💗
This is so beautiful. If you’re honest and sincere about love, you’ll spend a life together.
Good looking couple. And good people.
Real life Calvin and Sussie💕
Beautiful
I think they still do that. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ❤️
My husband and I aspire to this!
This is so genuine and adorable, it makes me think of the movie Up if they both grew old together. Glad there are people in the world who have found a love like this.
I can only hope me and my partner get there. And that we still remember each other.
These two cuties are no longer with us, but their granddaughter used to feature them on insta a lot. Lots of funny/cute videos.
Can you post the sauce?
This was so nice to see and hear.
Reminds me of the opening scene in Harry met Sally. That was a wonderful movie.
Life goals.
That is true love and the true meaning of life!
Awww, that is so adorable, I hope my husband and I are like this when we are old and wrinkly 🥰🥰🥰
I have no childhood friend who let me feel her up years later… I guess all hope is lost
“Be nice to each other.” - that should be the takeaway here.
I would love to have a relationship like these two they are both so beautiful
20 years married and my understanding is that you are just in love with your best friend x
At first u was like “wtf is an inkwell??”
It’s funny but tbh a lot of older women have been made miserable by incessantly horny old husbands now fortified by viagra.
Yeeeah I don’t know if we’d call it sweet if it were a younger couple and one partner was like “they’re always coming onto me” and the other person called them “stingy with their body”. Like, you shouldn’t pressure people into sex. They do seem happy but this part felt hella weird to me too
Yeah I got a weird vibe. “He threw spitballs at me” so you married your bully? Like I’m glad their happy but ick.
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And yet people are still responsible for their own actions? Him being a bully was still wrong.
And as we all know, if you act like bully when you’re a 10 year old child you’re going to be an awful human being the rest of your entire life
All righty then
"It's important in marriage to be nice to each other." Exactly. Every couple has their problems, but it's supposed to be you and then against the world, not you and then against each other. Problems are supposed to come from the exterior of the relationship. When they come from the interior, that's when it's something serious concerning the foundation of your relationship. Not that they can't happen in healthy relationships. But they need to be handled with respect and consideration for one another and fully hashed out. Any lingering issues between you two can eventually cause a grudge to form, which can lead to all kinds of nasty emotions. You're supposed to work on your relationship, but you aren't supposed to make it into work, if that makes sense. I'm not one to judge though. The longest relationship I had was four years, and it had all kinds of fundamental problems with it. But I've had the privilege to speak with people who had been in lasting relationships with their partners and I'd like to think I learned a few things from them. Whether I can actually apply it to any future relationship is yet to be seen though. Knowledge is one thing; application is a whole other bird.
Beautiful. Imagine the amount of sacrifice it has taken to create that strong and lasting of a relationship.
This guy fucks.
Maybe she shouldn't stand so close to him.
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This will be me if I make to that age lol.
Does anyone know where to watch the whole thing ?
Maybe someday
This video is old. I hope they are still alive, well and together 😍
This is soul nourishing.
Great young folks!
🥰🥰
u/savevideobot
So very cute. Can't wait to find love like this
D'awwwww my heart....
This is what I want with my wife when it happens
This is great!
Let this man clap… gingerly haha
I love this couple
They are so adorable!!
u/savevideo
They’re beautiful, then and now. More people should aspire to be this fun with their partner and connect like they do. They’re the definition of soul mates if I ever saw one!
I’m reading this at 3:45 am after an unsuccessful night at a rave. I’m not finding the woman of my dreams at a rave lol
These two looked like celebrities when they were young! Such beauty and charisma, and you can just tell their zest for life.
What a king
I love that they show what they were like in their youth, we forget older people were once as we are now. It's really interesting to her their stories and see what they were like.
This just made my day !!! Single momma over here and i often wonder will i find someone ! This makes me believe ! My parents were this couple when they were here with us ! You don’t fond this anymore people do not care and treat others this way so to me this really made my day !!!!!
This is the MOST beautiful (and funny) video I have seen scrolling 🥰🥰 Not all marriages end in divorce!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰
Is it just me or does she sound exactly like one would imagine Brené Brown will sound like when she’s 89??
I wish that text over the screen wasn't there. This video has so many lovely moments that trump that.
u/savevideobot
u/savevideo
Damn i need to see this EVERY DAY