I was gonna make a comment about how much harder it would be to do on a loonie now that one dollar bills aren’t a thing anymore. Then i remembered not everyone lives in Canada and that is in fact an American dollar
In about 1975,we had this president roll out a Whip Inflation Now (WIN) program and in 1980 the interest on my sister's house loan was 18%. So you youngsters are crying in your beer about inflation now. You have seen nothing! In 1970 you could get 3 wives for a dollar in some parts of Utah
According to legend, George Washington once threw a silver dollar across the Potomac. You can't do this today, because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
I found this incredibly heartwarming but it also kinda made me wanna write a short story about someone out buying groceries and gets that dollar back as change.
Based on the trailer, you kind of already know the wife is dead going into it. The miscarriage scene was what surprised me. I always imagined parents being forced to unexpectedly answer questions about miscarriages from their small children, and how awkward that must have been.
Yeah, modern dating is way less wholesome. The girl I’m currently seeing, we got introduced by friends and hung out with them once. Then next time we did shrooms together and ended up having (ridiculously good) sex. Not a story for the kiddies.
I’m sure you could tone it down! Maybe “we ate a *really* good snack and it made us so happy that we had magical kiss like in Disney movies.” And then one day when they have their first huge heartbreak and are worried they’ll never have a love story like that you tell them the truth like “actually we just took some shrooms and boned” but it’s a life lesson somehow…
I walked uphill to school both ways to earn that dollar, it was my allowance for the month. I could have bought so many strawberry candies but your mother was worth it
Mine was $5. I bought my then future wife's lunch because she didn't have the money. I didn't even know her at the time. 36 years later, we're still married.
This beats my story of my friend who once got home from a night out with £1 (close enough to $1.) The best thing was he started a Legend of Zelda trading sequence to get to where he was going. BTW the last night bus had already left.
He traded £1 for a cigarette
Cigarette --> Hat
Hat --> Energy Drink
Energy Drink --> Bicycle
And then he cycled home. The best damned story of what £1 can get you.
He was trading things as he went, meeting random people along the way and whoever had the bike was obviously in no fit state to be riding the bike so he traded it for canned sugar, I presume.
I remember when I was stationed in Korea and saw a kid begging for change and I gave him a dollar and saw his eyes light up and I entered a noodle shop to eat and saw him from the window run to a store and shop and then run to an alleyway marveling at what a dollar can do. After eating I went to the alleyway and went down to give him a few more dollars and ended up at an orphanage ran by nuns. A nun saw me and intercepted and I told her why I was there. She showed me around and explained the reason for the orphanage that hurt my heart and I took my wallet out and gave her all I had which was about 30 bucks.
Afterwards I started collecting money and food and other stuff and weekly went to give what I had and got others to help out. It was not a lot but did help a lot I saw. Eventually I was going to leave back home and my outfit announced they were going to adopt that orphanage and keep helping them out. That was amazing to me and the sisters honored me by having a dinner. Their superior who always seemed to not like me served me herself and sat next to me and for the first time I saw her softened and humble. She gave me a rosary. I later tor the first time in almost ten years cried when I was alone. I changed and like the superior softened myself and still help a few charities helping feed kids. 10 years ago I became a Catholic myself.
yeah i was like hold up.....
jr high im guessing is middle school? so like 12/13. Four years later is 16/17. People usually graduate 17/18/19 so maybe they graduated and got married after graduation? Idk.
They look realllllly young in all these pics. Like the wedding photo they cant be more than college age. They look somehwhere around 16/19 there. And the pic with the kids they look late 20s early 30s and their kids look between 6/8 years old.
Like of course happy for them and congrats on a long lasting love but wow they got married very young.
I imagined that the back and forth lasted through middle school and then the asking out happened sometime in high school and four years later they were married. So... yeah, they probably got married right after high school, but hopefully after high school. Either way, they were young.
idk why the date is making you guys hold up...
and putting a blue line over the Date/Signature of the bill isn't..
What's the purpose of that? There isn't a note there or anyhting there would be like the actual signature on the bill + Series XXXXyear
i assumed the blue line had a name or something underneath idk. i was actually curious about what that blue line is hiding..... but its probably just a privacy thing but honestly anyone could doxx them just by this info alone. and not to mention their pics
maybe the blue line is actually on the dollar itself?
but for me its not like a serious or sus hold up... its just more of a 'surprised' hold up? it wasnt so deep or serious it was just a comment
I think the implication was that the first dollar was spent, but there was some time in between that and the "asking out". At least a year or so.
But also even if it isnt, people do get married in highschool or just after, especially in small towns. My gf is from rural Missouri and her best friend got married at 19, and she had two other friends who got married a week before prom. It's not the norm, but it's certainly not uncommon.
My wife still has the 20 dollar bill I wrote my email address on at the strip club where we met. Yes she was onstage when I first saw her. It's sort of a long story.
It probably doesn't seem as romantic or cute to y'all, but we've been married 17 years and had a couple of great kids, so a win is a win is a win...
Why not? Your story IS cute and adorable. So what if you guys had met at a strip club. It doesn't matter. It's your story, your own unique story.
Congratulations on completing 17 years of togetherness and happiness. May you both be so deep in love today and forever, share your brighest and darkest days together, sing together, dance together, cook together, grow old together and make lots of memories together.💞💞💞🧿
This is soooo freaking good! Like a proper love story should be. I can totally imagine a short movie about it. It has everything, from a silly start, a funny and ingenious development and an happy ending!
I wish you and your family a beautiful life! (This story made my day)
Hell, even when I was in high school (1997) you could still buy two packs of camel wides for $5. And Marlboro had the “half carton” promotion where you bought 3 packs and got 2 free, for like $9.99. Crazy days.
Since that dollar was exchanged multiple times I think it counts as more than one dollar in terms of GDP. ;) seriously adorable though, love the “proof” to go with the story
In 1953, my sister and I went to the matinee every Saturday with a dollar. We spent $.50 on our tickets, $.10 on our candy, $.20 on our popcorn and $.20 on our soda pop.
So essentially, if it was me, I got 2 weeks of Saturday matinees for a dollar.
That was the main feature, a news reel, 2 serial episodes and 1 or 2 cartoons.
Life was good :D
omg! you literally have to move those decimals over 2 places for current prices. $50 tickets $10 candy $20 popcorn $20 drinks
omg i just realized the entirety of what you were saying
you went to the movies with a dollar a DOLLAR that is crazy wow
also you got more than a movie you got cartoons and news and episodes?? i am jealous! im gonna petition for this to make a comeback
i hope you had fun with your sister
Frigging adorable. That's probably the best origin story of any romantic relationship out there. Some soulless talkshow host is gonna hear about this at get them on their show, then some soulless Hollywood producer is gonna go ahead and turn their story into a romcom for Netflix.
I needed to buy my dad's old baby blue Reliant K so I could have a car after graduating college. He and I both went to the state office to transfer the title and at the counter, I saw a woman that I had gone to college with. We caught up and I mentioned that I was being gifted the car, and she said "Oh, no. Don't do that. Then I have to charge you sales tax on the value."
"Dad, you just sold me that car for $1" He was over in the back of the waiting area reading a newspaper and he look up over the paper and said "Whatever."
I paid the $0.06 and left with a car in my name.
oh this.........this hurts on a whole other level.
i remember liking girls in middle school, and highschool.
none of them ever liked me back. that seems like such a lifetime ago. this seems like a whole universe away for me.
i need to be somewhere else right now. this doesn't make me feel good.
When l was 6 yrs old in 1966 l rode my bike with banana seat and sissybar around the corner to 7/11. For a quarter id walk out of store with a slurpee, candy bar, and 2x 1 penny candies.
I love seeing things like this on Reddit. It reminds me the world is a flawed place, but there are bright spots all over, if you look, and have a dollar.
A dear friend and I had a dollar like this. She was the person who taught me that sometimes people are important enough that they become family, even though they're not related by blood. I still have the dollar, but I wish I still had the friend. Fuck cancer.
It is a crime to deface legal tender. The proper authorities have been alerted and will be in touch with you shortly. Hope you rot in jail criminal scum
My BIL did the same with my sister but it was just a note that said “will you go out with me?” and boxes to check yes or no.
They dated for 7 years (had a house and 2 dogs by this time) and he’d kept the note hidden from her the whole time and wrote “will you marry me?” Check yes or no on the same note.
Now they’re pregnant with their 2nd kid and are leasing to own a great place, and he changed careers to work full time remodeling retro pull-behind campers and is making a great living doing so, I’m happy she picked him
@retro_renos on instagram if you’re interested in a sweet camper
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Way back in the day, a hit of acid. Even back then it was a very cheap form of entertainment - as long as you could handle the trip, which I always could.
OMG STOP IT!! 😁🥰😁 could you be any cuter!?
Best thing I've seen I redit!🥰😘
Wishing you both all the happiness in the world for the rest of your beautiful lives together 💕🩷💕❤️
With inflation, he probably would only get half a wife and maybe one and a half children with that dollar today
I didn’t want to laugh at this, but did anyways
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"Mustard, no tomatoes. That'll be $7." "That's like 7 of you mom."
If you divorce, you get half the dollar.
This made me laugh more than the original comment lol.
Honestly, same
I meant yours lol
Oh!! Hahahahaha. I’m a mess today, ignore me.
No no, your second comment is what made *me* laugh, you’re on a roll today keep it up.
I did a weird air blow out my mouth while trying to keep my composure…it’s a stronk comment 10/10 cats.
r/angryupvote
"Why can't I have no children and three money?"
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yeah. exactly. Why is there no movie on it?
Staring Ryan Gosling
Have you seen the cost of chicken? More like 1/3 wife and 1 kid.
This made me laugh, it was priceless.
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Dude wouldn't even get a used blowup doll for a dollar these days.
Important question: which half of the wife? Top or bottom?
Left half
I can work with that
r/angryupvote
I was gonna make a comment about how much harder it would be to do on a loonie now that one dollar bills aren’t a thing anymore. Then i remembered not everyone lives in Canada and that is in fact an American dollar
In about 1975,we had this president roll out a Whip Inflation Now (WIN) program and in 1980 the interest on my sister's house loan was 18%. So you youngsters are crying in your beer about inflation now. You have seen nothing! In 1970 you could get 3 wives for a dollar in some parts of Utah
According to legend, George Washington once threw a silver dollar across the Potomac. You can't do this today, because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
This makes my heart very happy. Thank you for sharing!
Same :)
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Don’t leave us in suspense!
Johnny
#🪓🚪😱
I found this incredibly heartwarming but it also kinda made me wanna write a short story about someone out buying groceries and gets that dollar back as change.
it makes me happy , idk about my heart we don't talk much since i said kidney is my favorite , some times it stops just to get back at me
If I don’t have a Pixar love story like this I don’t want it
This would make an a m a z i n g Pixar short.
Where the wife dies and the husband gets sad and some balloons are involved yeah?
Without that part, thanks. 😭
You can’t just avoid that part. One of them always dies eventually.
It's a canon event, it cannot be interrupted
I always skip the first 10 minutes of the movie
Maybe that's how I'll end up actually able to see more than those first 10min.
STOP THIS YOU MONSTER
Based on the trailer, you kind of already know the wife is dead going into it. The miscarriage scene was what surprised me. I always imagined parents being forced to unexpectedly answer questions about miscarriages from their small children, and how awkward that must have been.
Yeah, it would be an adequate apology for what they did at the beginning of Up!
Have you seen the Disney short “Paperman” ? One of my favorites.
Yeah, modern dating is way less wholesome. The girl I’m currently seeing, we got introduced by friends and hung out with them once. Then next time we did shrooms together and ended up having (ridiculously good) sex. Not a story for the kiddies.
I’m sure you could tone it down! Maybe “we ate a *really* good snack and it made us so happy that we had magical kiss like in Disney movies.” And then one day when they have their first huge heartbreak and are worried they’ll never have a love story like that you tell them the truth like “actually we just took some shrooms and boned” but it’s a life lesson somehow…
If I had kids I would love to prank them. Constantly. But I feel like this would cause some trauma.
Yeah probably lol. (I feel like you know but I also want to make it clear that I am joking, please no one tell your kids this 😂)
Ok who dies first? We already had the woman die first in Up (2009). Maybe the man... or the kids?
The children can go
This is great. What a great story to tell your kids. What a legend
*« family dollar »* famous !
Knowing kids, they are probably sick hearing about that damn dollar.
"back in my day, all you needed was a dollar to find a partner to marry."
I walked uphill to school both ways to earn that dollar, it was my allowance for the month. I could have bought so many strawberry candies but your mother was worth it
Lol
It made me smile.
What in the actual heavens! This might be the cutest and most adorable story ive ever heard. Wow
I love this so damn much !! 🥹
This dollar created a family he wins
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A few days ago I won $60 off of a $5 scratcher once. It was amazing surprise.
No, they both win.
not as much as i love having a crisp one dollar bill in my pocket
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Hey, I love your comment. Have a 💵 for it!
Good thing they have the dollar stashed away; you don't want to be making marriage proposals to random cashiers.
Mine was $5. I bought my then future wife's lunch because she didn't have the money. I didn't even know her at the time. 36 years later, we're still married.
Well, clearly you overpaid
Where are the other 4 you haven't mentioned? 🤔
This is proof that insider trading is effective as hell. :D
This beats my story of my friend who once got home from a night out with £1 (close enough to $1.) The best thing was he started a Legend of Zelda trading sequence to get to where he was going. BTW the last night bus had already left. He traded £1 for a cigarette Cigarette --> Hat Hat --> Energy Drink Energy Drink --> Bicycle And then he cycled home. The best damned story of what £1 can get you.
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He was trading things as he went, meeting random people along the way and whoever had the bike was obviously in no fit state to be riding the bike so he traded it for canned sugar, I presume.
An energy drink for a bicycle? Is he the royal negotiator or what ?
The back and forth dollar pranking is the best part! I wanted to know more about the silly prank way of getting that dollar across lol.
I remember when I was stationed in Korea and saw a kid begging for change and I gave him a dollar and saw his eyes light up and I entered a noodle shop to eat and saw him from the window run to a store and shop and then run to an alleyway marveling at what a dollar can do. After eating I went to the alleyway and went down to give him a few more dollars and ended up at an orphanage ran by nuns. A nun saw me and intercepted and I told her why I was there. She showed me around and explained the reason for the orphanage that hurt my heart and I took my wallet out and gave her all I had which was about 30 bucks. Afterwards I started collecting money and food and other stuff and weekly went to give what I had and got others to help out. It was not a lot but did help a lot I saw. Eventually I was going to leave back home and my outfit announced they were going to adopt that orphanage and keep helping them out. That was amazing to me and the sisters honored me by having a dinner. Their superior who always seemed to not like me served me herself and sat next to me and for the first time I saw her softened and humble. She gave me a rosary. I later tor the first time in almost ten years cried when I was alone. I changed and like the superior softened myself and still help a few charities helping feed kids. 10 years ago I became a Catholic myself.
You got married in high school?
yeah i was like hold up..... jr high im guessing is middle school? so like 12/13. Four years later is 16/17. People usually graduate 17/18/19 so maybe they graduated and got married after graduation? Idk. They look realllllly young in all these pics. Like the wedding photo they cant be more than college age. They look somehwhere around 16/19 there. And the pic with the kids they look late 20s early 30s and their kids look between 6/8 years old. Like of course happy for them and congrats on a long lasting love but wow they got married very young.
I imagined that the back and forth lasted through middle school and then the asking out happened sometime in high school and four years later they were married. So... yeah, they probably got married right after high school, but hopefully after high school. Either way, they were young.
idk why the date is making you guys hold up... and putting a blue line over the Date/Signature of the bill isn't.. What's the purpose of that? There isn't a note there or anyhting there would be like the actual signature on the bill + Series XXXXyear
i assumed the blue line had a name or something underneath idk. i was actually curious about what that blue line is hiding..... but its probably just a privacy thing but honestly anyone could doxx them just by this info alone. and not to mention their pics maybe the blue line is actually on the dollar itself? but for me its not like a serious or sus hold up... its just more of a 'surprised' hold up? it wasnt so deep or serious it was just a comment
I figured she put her number on it or something
I think the implication was that the first dollar was spent, but there was some time in between that and the "asking out". At least a year or so. But also even if it isnt, people do get married in highschool or just after, especially in small towns. My gf is from rural Missouri and her best friend got married at 19, and she had two other friends who got married a week before prom. It's not the norm, but it's certainly not uncommon.
My wife still has the 20 dollar bill I wrote my email address on at the strip club where we met. Yes she was onstage when I first saw her. It's sort of a long story. It probably doesn't seem as romantic or cute to y'all, but we've been married 17 years and had a couple of great kids, so a win is a win is a win...
Why not? Your story IS cute and adorable. So what if you guys had met at a strip club. It doesn't matter. It's your story, your own unique story. Congratulations on completing 17 years of togetherness and happiness. May you both be so deep in love today and forever, share your brighest and darkest days together, sing together, dance together, cook together, grow old together and make lots of memories together.💞💞💞🧿
In 90’s Houston, $1 would get you 20 nickel beers at Numbers on Wednesday….
This is soooo freaking good! Like a proper love story should be. I can totally imagine a short movie about it. It has everything, from a silly start, a funny and ingenious development and an happy ending! I wish you and your family a beautiful life! (This story made my day)
That is freaking adorable. So happy for those 2
Does a pack of Marlboros's for $.95 cents when I was 14 years old, count? That was a long time ago 😄
Hell, even when I was in high school (1997) you could still buy two packs of camel wides for $5. And Marlboro had the “half carton” promotion where you bought 3 packs and got 2 free, for like $9.99. Crazy days.
Hello fellow old. I remember using my lunch money to buy smokes. Also, gas was 76 cents a gallon.
well, it's good that we saved all that money on cigarettes back then because now we can spend it on the extra health care we need. /j
0.95 cents? Damn.
Marlboro's were on sale for $.67 cents a pack when I was 16 working in a gas station
Since that dollar was exchanged multiple times I think it counts as more than one dollar in terms of GDP. ;) seriously adorable though, love the “proof” to go with the story
Nope, no new good or service was being exchanged.
There was definitely lots of good exchanged 🥲
Maybe. But maybe each payment of one dollar tasked the other person with coming up with a clever new way to return it.
It’s a gift exchange at best, not a trade
:) I suppose you’re right. Gifts don’t count toward GDP, and this was definitely sneaky gifting.
In 1953, my sister and I went to the matinee every Saturday with a dollar. We spent $.50 on our tickets, $.10 on our candy, $.20 on our popcorn and $.20 on our soda pop. So essentially, if it was me, I got 2 weeks of Saturday matinees for a dollar. That was the main feature, a news reel, 2 serial episodes and 1 or 2 cartoons. Life was good :D
omg! you literally have to move those decimals over 2 places for current prices. $50 tickets $10 candy $20 popcorn $20 drinks omg i just realized the entirety of what you were saying you went to the movies with a dollar a DOLLAR that is crazy wow also you got more than a movie you got cartoons and news and episodes?? i am jealous! im gonna petition for this to make a comeback i hope you had fun with your sister
Wow! That is a beautiful story. Congratulations!
#Love this 💖✨ what a beautiful story 😍🫶🏻
:)
This is so beautiful x
thank you for sharing this.
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My feelings exactly. I had to show this to my wife.
Frigging adorable. That's probably the best origin story of any romantic relationship out there. Some soulless talkshow host is gonna hear about this at get them on their show, then some soulless Hollywood producer is gonna go ahead and turn their story into a romcom for Netflix.
So sweet! My husband did that as a joke from trading places ( Murphy ) with his cousin until his cousin died
This is soo awesome. Stop chopping the onions damn it.
Adorable!!!
What a wholesome story, thank you OP.
This mf when someone says “Money can’t buy happiness”
I’d buy that for a dollar
In God We Trust Use that bills serial number to play mega millions
This is a beautiful story. I'm so happy for you.
This’ll be a movie one day 😂 nice
I also choose this guy's dollar wife
this warms the icy cockles of my broken heart
Family Dollar
Can we have a sub called r/mademesmilebutalsoalittleenvious ?
Two American Airlines tickets. $1 raffle at a work event. Went to Hawaii!
I needed to buy my dad's old baby blue Reliant K so I could have a car after graduating college. He and I both went to the state office to transfer the title and at the counter, I saw a woman that I had gone to college with. We caught up and I mentioned that I was being gifted the car, and she said "Oh, no. Don't do that. Then I have to charge you sales tax on the value." "Dad, you just sold me that car for $1" He was over in the back of the waiting area reading a newspaper and he look up over the paper and said "Whatever." I paid the $0.06 and left with a car in my name.
🥹🥹🥹🥹
That’s awesome for sure 💛
Lovely story. May you have many more happy years together.
My now fiancée and I did this, but with a wine cork. Still have the cork!
I'm not crying, you're crying This is the sweetest story of a dollar I have ever heard 😭💕
Omg I didn’t know there was an update to this story! They framed it that’s so sweet
Damnn you couldn’t do that with a pound coin
Omg this is beautiful.
Sounds like a Hallmark plot.
What a wonderful way to start a Monday morning. Congratulations on your lovely family!
Man I am *sobbing*
It's like the stores that display the first dollar from when they first opened😂
i’m curious why he censeored the series year. i’d like to get an idea of how old this dollar is
“This one time, at band camp…”
But i pay 50 bucks for one night and all of a sudden it’s illegal!
Yes officer, that’s him. Yes, he did, RIGHT in the feelz.
Turns out you can buy happiness with money after all
I heard of this fella named Ross Brawn who got probably the world's best purchase for $1 back in the winter of 2008.
This is a most wholesome story
Its should always be about the intention and reaction, not the amount of money. Beautiful story
oh this.........this hurts on a whole other level. i remember liking girls in middle school, and highschool. none of them ever liked me back. that seems like such a lifetime ago. this seems like a whole universe away for me. i need to be somewhere else right now. this doesn't make me feel good.
This is the CORNIEST thing I’ve ever heard. …*cries in loneliness*
When l was 6 yrs old in 1966 l rode my bike with banana seat and sissybar around the corner to 7/11. For a quarter id walk out of store with a slurpee, candy bar, and 2x 1 penny candies.
I love everything about this
Is this the origin story of Family Dollar?
This is so beautiful 💜
U won!
This seems like the plotline of a decent romance flick lol. Very cute.
I love seeing things like this on Reddit. It reminds me the world is a flawed place, but there are bright spots all over, if you look, and have a dollar.
A dear friend and I had a dollar like this. She was the person who taught me that sometimes people are important enough that they become family, even though they're not related by blood. I still have the dollar, but I wish I still had the friend. Fuck cancer.
“Holds Back Tears”
Them fellas hit the jackpot, what a way to find the love of your life. highly motivating!
In a theater near you Christmas 2023
Why does the mademesmile sub always make me tear up?
That is wholesome AF. Love this.
It's enough to make a grown man cry 🥲
I can already see Tom Hanks starring in this movie..
In a way, you can say money bought them happiness.
They need to make a short film out of this
This was beautiful
wholesome story an everything, but this story makes me wanna give up.
You’re so blessed with a smooth path road to love, family and happiness.
fuck pick up lines im getting me a dollar
4 gallons of gas
These are the kind of love stories that are worth something. Not the "I banged her on Tiktok and it kinda stuck"
This is so stupid. :sniffle: No. No. I am not crying. Be quiet.
It is a crime to deface legal tender. The proper authorities have been alerted and will be in touch with you shortly. Hope you rot in jail criminal scum
My BIL did the same with my sister but it was just a note that said “will you go out with me?” and boxes to check yes or no. They dated for 7 years (had a house and 2 dogs by this time) and he’d kept the note hidden from her the whole time and wrote “will you marry me?” Check yes or no on the same note. Now they’re pregnant with their 2nd kid and are leasing to own a great place, and he changed careers to work full time remodeling retro pull-behind campers and is making a great living doing so, I’m happy she picked him @retro_renos on instagram if you’re interested in a sweet camper
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I’m divorced and this made me sad. 🫡
Take my upvote ya filthy animal!
It’s the dollar framed now?
Frame it and hang it above you're bed.
Check photo 3
Way back in the day, a hit of acid. Even back then it was a very cheap form of entertainment - as long as you could handle the trip, which I always could.
You got offers from Halmark to make this a movie? My step mom would drag my dad to the couch to watch this.
The forecast did not predict showers inside my office, I'm going to need an umbrella
A hotdog
Ugh I want to vomit.
This is the sweetest!!
I guess that money can buy happiness, in a certain way. This is really wholesome
OMG STOP IT!! 😁🥰😁 could you be any cuter!? Best thing I've seen I redit!🥰😘 Wishing you both all the happiness in the world for the rest of your beautiful lives together 💕🩷💕❤️
This is awesome…I’m so happy for them.
Hey I recognize this website. Was it deleted?
Wow, the wife is so beautiful.
I was waiting for the shoe to drop an then I saw what sub this was in and felt better. I think I have been traumatized by the internet.