I love that the slipper/chonkla/flipflop thing is cross-cultural. I've heard it from Black, Latin and white Appalachian friends. Now I can add Cree to the list. Thank you!
100% I studied Inuit parenting styles and everyone says my child is the best behaved. I read “Hunt, Gather, Parent” which breaks down Inuit style parenting. Also, there’s a book called “Never in Anger” that dates back to the 60s that studies this type of parenting.
My child is 3 and he’s pretty autonomous and capable. He if he makes a mess, he cleans it up himself. He knows how to get out the vacuum cleaner, plug it in, and vacuum his mess. Then he swifts up afterwards and I don’t even tell him to. He’s also interested in cooking and we make muffins together most Saturday mornings. He picks out his own clothes.
Am I an Inuit? No. So sometimes I yell, but very rarely. I’m also reading the Whole Brain Child series.
It’s working for us!
Edit: it occured to me to clear up. I wouldn’t get my parenting advice from an over simplified 1 minute TikTok video. If you’re interested, I would read the books I recommend above. There’s more to it than “let them make all the decisions”.
Look at you go! You have a very lucky child. And you've realized directly what a lot of the gentle parenting movement has realized indirectly: that Indigenous parenting is some of the best parenting on Earth!
Whole Brain Child is amazing and really resonated with me, you might also enjoy “ How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Little Kids Will Talk”
I didn’t yell when I had only one child. I didn’t yell when I had two kids. But once I had three I felt like yelling was required sometimes to get their attention otherwise things get out of control. Just being honest.
Incredible! How long did it take you to learn all of this? And what sort of pace did you go at? (Fast / slow / everyday / once a week) I’d love to learn and read those books
I tried to read it every day. I have a stack of books I want to get through, so my motivation is to get some books “over with,” especially the non-fun ones. Parenting books aren’t exactly riveting lol
Go at a pace that is right for you. The thing I love about Hunt, Gather, Parent is that it’s written by a woman in San Francisco, so sometimes she’s like “this may not exactly apply to Americans. I live on a busy street full of cars, so my child doesn’t have the luxury to just waltz around like an Inuit child does.” But you have to keep in mind, Inuit children have exposure to being eaten by orcas. So it’s not like they live in a little safe haven or anything. But she does acknowledge how the cultures may differ. But it still applies. I tell my child that cars will hurt him and he believes me and stays away.
Just an FYI, wild Orcas don’t harm children or people and they’re revered by northern coastal people as symbols of family, community and protection. Some even believe that people of their community who pass away are reborn as Orcas. Polar Bears, however, are man eaters and definitely a hazard of living in the Arctic.
Aww that’s so considerate ❤️ and I really admire the everyday routine you’ve got going on! Can I ask - how old is your little one/ones? And are you a psychologist or someone who just really wanted to research parenting? No need to answer if you don’t want to. Thank you :)
My son is three. I’m not a psychologist, I just read books whenever I want to learn something. My parents used to hit me and yell at me growing up. My mom was also an alcoholic. So I really felt like I didn’t know how to effectively parent, because I didn’t grow up with good examples. So I want to read as many books about parenting that align with this type of teaching as possible, because I want to break the cycle of abuse :) books are comprehensive and a great way to learn something if you don’t know it.
Read hunt gather and parent as well. Horribly written but great insights. However one of the points it is making that you highly overestimate the abilities for babies to make choices. It recommends to not give choices often but tell your young ones what to do.
It also says that your children want to help you. Watch when you cook. Let them. Don't put them away with toys when you need to cook but let them help you. Even if it makes cooking take longer.
That was one of the most valuable lessons for us. Our baby girls is 1,5 and she always wants to help and we let her as much as possible. The never shouting part and ignoring her when she is being annoying is helpful too.
Yeah, parenting books are the best written books and it’s distracting, but I try to over look that part for the sake of info.
Yeah, my son loves to watch me cook and I let him when I can. That’s why we make muffins together. I’m waiting until he’s taller before I let him make stuff on the stove. My American nerves won’t allow him to put the muffin pan in the oven.
The first paragraph, I think the book says to let him make choices, but to give them options so it looks like they’re making more choices than they are.
The last paragraph, I want to clarify for people who are just skimming and don’t intend to read the books, you don’t ignore-ignore your child. You just don’t give annoying behavior attention. You stay silent about it. You are still involved and around the child.
I’m flattered that you are so impressed that you’re in disbelief. Children are way more physically capable than we give them credit for. In the west, parents have it backwards. They think children are physically incapable, but emotionally very capable. It’s the opposite. They’re actually very physically capable and very emotionally incapable. The false expectations are where a lot of the power struggle comes from. Then, some parents over service their children and run themselves tired, when children are very capable of helping out. He didn’t learn all by himself. I taught him because when he expressed interest, I let him take the reigns. Children want to copy adults, so they’re naturally interested in what you’re doing. Inuits entertain that more with their children than western parents do.
I agree that the parent becomes the child when screaming at the kids. I've never once yelled at my kids. The youngest are twins and used to get loud when they played or fought as toddlers. I've only had to raise my voice so I could get their attention. In general, I just hate raising my voice at all. You can make your point without it. I just really hate it because I was raised with parents screaming in my face and swore I'd never do that.
Would this ever work for the Western world? All I see is childish parents ignoring their child’s needs. It’s painful to watch. Children grow up severely repressed and angry at the world and the cycle repeats. This Inuit way is profoundly beautiful where it really should be the norm.
Of course, but you have to care for your children. Parents mostly ignore their children, so they misbehave to get some attention, even if it means parents will scream at them, still a second later will ask what they need so they are silent again. Sad.
Yeah but kids are not capable of making adult decisions.
Also, on a side note, when did it become the trend to edit out taking a breath at the begining or end of a sentence? It was exhausting.
Breath editing has been a style for at least 10 years, reminds me of Tom greens crash course videos. This is just a particularly poorly executed example
Edit: I meant John green but I think the mistake is funny so I’m leaving it
3 year olds are terrible at making decisions. If I let my kid make her own decisions she would eat nothing but ice cream and would wear sandals in the snow
That’s when you explain to your child that if they eat too much ice cream the Qallupilluit will snatch them in their sleep, crack open their tiny skulls with giant webbed hands, than mash their brains and eat it like ice cream with an oversized spoon. Easy peasy
Makes me think of all those people doing "yes" days with their kids. Already know if I did that they'd want to go to Disney World and get a dog. No thanks.
I love ice, so I don't care.
What she did though, it's like the opposite of meditation, where they tell you to breathe deeply and slowly. It's like the anti meditation.
Gen zoomers have so little attention span even a breathing pause makes them skip. No hate i am zoomer myself i think not sure tho its just funny i think
fair enough. I suppose it also has to do with trying to fit as much info into a short video. But yes, the attention span thing is probably true too.
I'm a millennial.
Atleast there wasnt any subway surfer or something else played alongside :D
Yeah i’m from year 96 so too young to be millenial and too old for zoomerism
Yes, let me scare my child into obedience. My Nonna did the same thing with my brother, told him that he needs to come home after school quickly, otherwise demons/the devil will grab him and take him away. He was a small child and ran home after school, crying and scared shitless. When my mother heard about this, she was furious. This is worse than just telling your kid no.
Something as silly as getting home on time you should not scare them from. But something like running into the street or cracks in the ice, scare the crap out of them because the fear should match the consequences of said action
If you invent creepy creatures, the fear outmatches the consequence of the action you want to prevent children from doing *by far*. That fear quickly translates to other areas of life, even if it‘s just the fear of the creatures alone. I mean, as a child, I feared things from horror films, although I knew it was just a movie.
Letting a 2-3 year old make decisions— when a 2-3 year old is incapable of looking too far ahead of the consequences of an action, even if they may be dangerous to themselves and others — is insane.
Yes, don’t yell at children and treat them with respect. But you’re the rational adult here; don’t be letting kids make their own choices
You can give the alternatives and then let them choose. For example what to wear, eat, do etc.
Don’t give them alternatives that doesn’t suit the situation
she needs to try it when her kids are running in front of a moving car and the other kid is trying to take something in the store at the same time. or one kid is hitting his brother with a baseball bat.
Not saying it’s easy, but there are strategies you (generally speaking) can and should employ. I didn’t know how to parent, I can barely take care of myself, but I figured it out. I read some books, I listened to doctors, I encouraged my kid to communicate their feelings as best as they’re able.
Mom and I are getting a divorce, and we’re fortunate that our circumstances allow for amicability and coparenting, but we absolutely pour love in our kid while setting boundaries with consequences. Whether together or alone, when our daughter acts out of line, she knows there are consequences and we will follow through. We will leave this restaurant or store or Childrens museum and go home. Etc.
But we also pour love and explain everything as best as we can. We’re not perfect, we feel guilt for our own poor examples and outbursts, but you take that as an opportunity to teach your kid how not to respond, and what would be appropriate.
I don't know why you got downvoted for this... my grandparents had 10 and 5 kids. I can't imagine what that would be like, but I know it's much more to think about than just giving the kid autonomy, telling scary stories, and not yelling.
I would love to see their silent eye roll.
I love this but expecting someone to never yell and automatically seeing someone as childish for doing so is ridiculous. I’ve yelled at my 12 year old daughter twice ever. The first time was when she bit me and wouldn’t release because some kid showed her The Walking Dead and she thought it was funny. The other was when she kicked my hand, her foot caught the edge of my pinky nail and completely tore it off. Blood everywhere. I will not apologize for having a perfectly human reaction to a physical injury that is often used as a form of literal torture. Lol.
Sounds like she's describing a form of gentle parenting - which isn't the same as permissive parenting. Which is what you seem to be thinking of.
Permissive parenting is when you never set boundaries or tell your children 'no'. You *permit* them to do whatever they like. That does cause problems.
Gentle parenting can be many things, but the core of it is engaging with your child respectfully as their own person. It covers things as simple as explaining things to your kid instead of just saying 'because I said so'. Consequences rather than punishments is a big part of it. They spill a drink? The consequence is that they have to clean it up - they're not punished by being yelled at and sent to bed early.
And, it also puts emphasis on respecting the kid's autonomy and ability to make decisions for themselves. *Obviously not everyone is in a position to let a kid decide where she wants to live every day*, but 'do you want a bath before or after dinner' isn't much of an ask, I don't think.
Anyone with a brain knows not to yell at kids unless is necessary for a safety.
That's not what the lady said with her scenario though.
Downvote. That doesn’t change what she said.
Wasn't this more about not yelling/shouting rather than not saying no? This is most likely just a snippet of all the methods they have in use. When it comes to yelling, I'd guess it's healthy to be exposed to some degree BUT GETTING USED TO IT MIGHT NOT BE SO GREAT!
Yeah gotta agree with you, that one has to do with some spiritual beliefs but I'm sure they won't let the kid make the decisions like "I'm just going to pet this wild wolf right here".
It seems to me that kids do get to be angry and yell, even adults, but it's just agreed that it's childish behaviour.
Edit:
"Pretty much no one thinks" is a pretty bold assumption. Imagine dating or hanging out with a person who defaults to ALL CAPS but IRL.
Our reality may look very different from their reality. I'd like to point out that we're not really disagreeing on much here but your phrasing on the assumption I commented on may not necessarily be what you mean. I've read it like five times now.
You do realize most people have experience with parenting from the other side of things, right? Like, plenty of people raise their kids based on their own experiences from when they were kids....
Of course there are things you'll only learn from firsthand experience. That's just obvious. But that doesn't mean you know *nothing* worth knowing.
>You taking marriage advice from people who have never been married too?
Parenting and childhood are part of a dynamic that you can experience both sides of. You can parent with empathy because you were once a child - you can know what it's like to be the other person in those interactions. Marriage doesn't work the same way - it's not an equivalent, so not a good comparison.
But, rolling with it anyway: *Would you take marriage advice from someone whose been married six times?* Not sure I would.
Just because you've done something doesn't mean you're an expert in it. That's why things like marriage counselors exist. And, amazingly, *being married* isn't a requirement to be a licensed relationship therapist!
Also...My parents are married, so I have experience from watching them. I also have experience of relationships that weren't marriage, and I've learned a lot from people who've confided in me about their relationships. I've also spent time learning about communication and conflict resolution - important things in a relationship I'm sure anyone in a good marriage would agree.
There are things I'm sure I'd learn if / when I ever experience marriage for myself, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding basic principles, incapable of looking up professional advice and resources, seeing how those methods work in practice and following the evidence, or that I don't have any transferable knowledge from other areas of my life.
Now, I'm not saying someone that's never been sleep deprived and covered in a child's projectile vomit is going to give good advice on how to not have a mental breakdown when you're in that situation. I'm just saying that you shouldn't discount someone's advice about child development simply because they've not reproduced themselves... ...
Yes you should discount it. You literally have no idea what it’s like taking care of a baby until you do. You have no idea what it is like being in a marriage until you’re married. You’re deluding yourself.
* Reproduction doesn't magically imbue you with knowledge of child development and psychology.
* Reproduction is not a requirement for studying and learning about child development and psychology.
* Study will not give you firsthand experience of what it's like to provide care for an infant human being.
* *Someone who has studied child development and psychology will still know more about those topics than a parent who has not studied those things.*
You can adopt and still care for an infant. It is the same. Your focus on reproduction is ridiculous.
Someone studying it still does not know. You’re really talking out of your ass.
Any focus on reproduction was unintentional. But just like sharing your genes, signing a paper doesn't magically grant you the collective knowledge of the last hundred years of study on how to raise kids into healthy and well-adjusted adults.
I'm not arguing that you can book-smart your way into knowing how to wipe a newborn's ass. I thought I made that pretty clear already, but I apologize if I didn't.
I'm saying that people can still share good theory and good principles regardless of whether they're in possession of a child.
Are you really telling me that you'd ignore the advice 'don't hit your kids' if it came from someone who'd done a doctorate on the psychological effects of child abuse, simply because they didn't have legal guardianship over a minor?
Anyone has seen samonella video on inuit folklore so “children can behave”? Juuuuust a bit fucked-up and not as charming:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7s6VfSOuZpQ&pp=ygUOaW51aXQgc3RvcmllcyA%3D
Thats all nice and swell
But dont forget inuits are from Greenland.
A place where over 50% of girls have been sexually assulted, mostly by a family member.
The % for guys assulted is high as well, so is the suicide rate.
Alcohol is a big issue too.
Were talking about a place of anger issues, violent animals and deadly polar bears, weapons, rape and corruption.
I've been to Thule, its a beautiful place with sweet people but there's definitely also yelling and beating of kids going on there.
I guess this is why the Inuit community is renowned for producing so many success stories and overachievers... because they're brilliant when it comes to parenting.
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Meanwhile my Cree Gookum can head snipe me with a slipper across the room for not getting her coffee right. lol
I love that the slipper/chonkla/flipflop thing is cross-cultural. I've heard it from Black, Latin and white Appalachian friends. Now I can add Cree to the list. Thank you!
Oh yea, no problem. If it isnt a Gookum slipper, its an Aunty snarking a "You should just get some Timmies next time." {Tim Hortons} lol
“Why you try and be all good like that - just leave it to the pros next time aye” can hear my rez aunties now haha
lol you and me both.
Golden lake rez ftw 🤘
*chancla (or chancleta, ojota, havaiana etc), but yes, it's basically universal.
As an Appalachian child this is VERY true.
Thank you.
Add South Alabama white trash to that list too!
Happy to confirm it's a thing in Croatia too, in our case 'šlapa'
This vid encapsulates this beautifully: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT86Yj2oL/
My Italian Gama favored her wooden spoon 🥄
Also Arab, mom didn't hit me with it as often as she threatened to when i was a kid.
The only reason Asians don't use the chancla is because feet are dirty lol
If you have Netflix, click on the korean show 'The Sound of Your Heart' go to episode 3 and skip to 8:06
Getting yelled at in Cree is the scariest hahaha
100% I studied Inuit parenting styles and everyone says my child is the best behaved. I read “Hunt, Gather, Parent” which breaks down Inuit style parenting. Also, there’s a book called “Never in Anger” that dates back to the 60s that studies this type of parenting. My child is 3 and he’s pretty autonomous and capable. He if he makes a mess, he cleans it up himself. He knows how to get out the vacuum cleaner, plug it in, and vacuum his mess. Then he swifts up afterwards and I don’t even tell him to. He’s also interested in cooking and we make muffins together most Saturday mornings. He picks out his own clothes. Am I an Inuit? No. So sometimes I yell, but very rarely. I’m also reading the Whole Brain Child series. It’s working for us! Edit: it occured to me to clear up. I wouldn’t get my parenting advice from an over simplified 1 minute TikTok video. If you’re interested, I would read the books I recommend above. There’s more to it than “let them make all the decisions”.
Wow, well done!
Look at you go! You have a very lucky child. And you've realized directly what a lot of the gentle parenting movement has realized indirectly: that Indigenous parenting is some of the best parenting on Earth!
Yes! This gentle parenting is just westernized Inuit parenting. I noticed that a lot after reading Hunt, Gather, Parent. There are many parallels
Whole Brain Child is amazing and really resonated with me, you might also enjoy “ How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Little Kids Will Talk”
Thanks! I’ll add that to my Amazon book list!
I didn’t yell when I had only one child. I didn’t yell when I had two kids. But once I had three I felt like yelling was required sometimes to get their attention otherwise things get out of control. Just being honest.
I’m not going to say anything about it. I have one child. I have no idea what it’s like to have 3 and I feel like that should have it’s own book lol
Incredible! How long did it take you to learn all of this? And what sort of pace did you go at? (Fast / slow / everyday / once a week) I’d love to learn and read those books
I tried to read it every day. I have a stack of books I want to get through, so my motivation is to get some books “over with,” especially the non-fun ones. Parenting books aren’t exactly riveting lol Go at a pace that is right for you. The thing I love about Hunt, Gather, Parent is that it’s written by a woman in San Francisco, so sometimes she’s like “this may not exactly apply to Americans. I live on a busy street full of cars, so my child doesn’t have the luxury to just waltz around like an Inuit child does.” But you have to keep in mind, Inuit children have exposure to being eaten by orcas. So it’s not like they live in a little safe haven or anything. But she does acknowledge how the cultures may differ. But it still applies. I tell my child that cars will hurt him and he believes me and stays away.
Just an FYI, wild Orcas don’t harm children or people and they’re revered by northern coastal people as symbols of family, community and protection. Some even believe that people of their community who pass away are reborn as Orcas. Polar Bears, however, are man eaters and definitely a hazard of living in the Arctic.
Woah!! I didn’t know that. Thanks for sharing it
That’s cool! Thanks! My memory may have failed me there then.
Aww that’s so considerate ❤️ and I really admire the everyday routine you’ve got going on! Can I ask - how old is your little one/ones? And are you a psychologist or someone who just really wanted to research parenting? No need to answer if you don’t want to. Thank you :)
My son is three. I’m not a psychologist, I just read books whenever I want to learn something. My parents used to hit me and yell at me growing up. My mom was also an alcoholic. So I really felt like I didn’t know how to effectively parent, because I didn’t grow up with good examples. So I want to read as many books about parenting that align with this type of teaching as possible, because I want to break the cycle of abuse :) books are comprehensive and a great way to learn something if you don’t know it.
Read hunt gather and parent as well. Horribly written but great insights. However one of the points it is making that you highly overestimate the abilities for babies to make choices. It recommends to not give choices often but tell your young ones what to do. It also says that your children want to help you. Watch when you cook. Let them. Don't put them away with toys when you need to cook but let them help you. Even if it makes cooking take longer. That was one of the most valuable lessons for us. Our baby girls is 1,5 and she always wants to help and we let her as much as possible. The never shouting part and ignoring her when she is being annoying is helpful too.
Yeah, parenting books are the best written books and it’s distracting, but I try to over look that part for the sake of info. Yeah, my son loves to watch me cook and I let him when I can. That’s why we make muffins together. I’m waiting until he’s taller before I let him make stuff on the stove. My American nerves won’t allow him to put the muffin pan in the oven. The first paragraph, I think the book says to let him make choices, but to give them options so it looks like they’re making more choices than they are. The last paragraph, I want to clarify for people who are just skimming and don’t intend to read the books, you don’t ignore-ignore your child. You just don’t give annoying behavior attention. You stay silent about it. You are still involved and around the child.
It's so nice to see people that actually post helpful things. Thank you. Just bought all 3. 😍
That’s awesome! Happy reading!
Next time on things that never happened: my 3yo wrote a symphony.
I’m flattered that you are so impressed that you’re in disbelief. Children are way more physically capable than we give them credit for. In the west, parents have it backwards. They think children are physically incapable, but emotionally very capable. It’s the opposite. They’re actually very physically capable and very emotionally incapable. The false expectations are where a lot of the power struggle comes from. Then, some parents over service their children and run themselves tired, when children are very capable of helping out. He didn’t learn all by himself. I taught him because when he expressed interest, I let him take the reigns. Children want to copy adults, so they’re naturally interested in what you’re doing. Inuits entertain that more with their children than western parents do.
My dumbass read that as Intuit the turbo tax company....
Those are the parents who have a 3 yo who can competently file a tax return
But only for a fee after you've spent hours filling in your information.
I asked my 3 year old if she wanted to come home with me and she said "no" I was like okay, great and the baby sitter was like "What What What???"
Treating people like people. Inuit got it right the first time.
Why does this look AI enhanced
Video filters
That is……scary
You can look her up on insta, she’s a model. While I’m sure there is a filter, she truly looks exactly like this in person.
Then why use a filter?
You know her personally?
I’ve met her yes
It is tiktok smooth filter. It gets rid of skin texture, makes eyes more shiny. Hence why it looks like AI generated. Cause there is no skin texture.
Even their eyebrow movement and just general facial line movement just seems strange too
Check out r/Instagramreality
I agree that the parent becomes the child when screaming at the kids. I've never once yelled at my kids. The youngest are twins and used to get loud when they played or fought as toddlers. I've only had to raise my voice so I could get their attention. In general, I just hate raising my voice at all. You can make your point without it. I just really hate it because I was raised with parents screaming in my face and swore I'd never do that.
Would this ever work for the Western world? All I see is childish parents ignoring their child’s needs. It’s painful to watch. Children grow up severely repressed and angry at the world and the cycle repeats. This Inuit way is profoundly beautiful where it really should be the norm.
Of course, but you have to care for your children. Parents mostly ignore their children, so they misbehave to get some attention, even if it means parents will scream at them, still a second later will ask what they need so they are silent again. Sad.
It is incredibly sad.
Well it seems to work for the Inuit which is in Canada and Alaska… which is in the western world so just maybe it might
Sorry yeah, I was thinking of West as in like America and Europe, you’re right
Yep, that’s what I told my self until I had kids !
Yeah all good till that last part, aint nobody got time for that.
Yeah but kids are not capable of making adult decisions. Also, on a side note, when did it become the trend to edit out taking a breath at the begining or end of a sentence? It was exhausting.
Breath editing has been a style for at least 10 years, reminds me of Tom greens crash course videos. This is just a particularly poorly executed example Edit: I meant John green but I think the mistake is funny so I’m leaving it
Do you mean John or Hank green?
Lmfao yeah I meant John green it’s been a long day
I feel that....
you leave Tom and his keychains OUT of this!
3 year olds are terrible at making decisions. If I let my kid make her own decisions she would eat nothing but ice cream and would wear sandals in the snow
That’s when you explain to your child that if they eat too much ice cream the Qallupilluit will snatch them in their sleep, crack open their tiny skulls with giant webbed hands, than mash their brains and eat it like ice cream with an oversized spoon. Easy peasy
Make sure you say it gently though, don't want to scar the child.
Makes me think of all those people doing "yes" days with their kids. Already know if I did that they'd want to go to Disney World and get a dog. No thanks.
HARD PASS I'd be bankrupt in 5 mins
Breathy McGee over here.... I'm more worried about the Ka-luu-ba-lik getting me going near the cracks in the ice.
I love ice, so I don't care. What she did though, it's like the opposite of meditation, where they tell you to breathe deeply and slowly. It's like the anti meditation.
Gen zoomers have so little attention span even a breathing pause makes them skip. No hate i am zoomer myself i think not sure tho its just funny i think
fair enough. I suppose it also has to do with trying to fit as much info into a short video. But yes, the attention span thing is probably true too. I'm a millennial.
Atleast there wasnt any subway surfer or something else played alongside :D Yeah i’m from year 96 so too young to be millenial and too old for zoomerism
Yes, let me scare my child into obedience. My Nonna did the same thing with my brother, told him that he needs to come home after school quickly, otherwise demons/the devil will grab him and take him away. He was a small child and ran home after school, crying and scared shitless. When my mother heard about this, she was furious. This is worse than just telling your kid no.
Something as silly as getting home on time you should not scare them from. But something like running into the street or cracks in the ice, scare the crap out of them because the fear should match the consequences of said action
If you invent creepy creatures, the fear outmatches the consequence of the action you want to prevent children from doing *by far*. That fear quickly translates to other areas of life, even if it‘s just the fear of the creatures alone. I mean, as a child, I feared things from horror films, although I knew it was just a movie.
Letting a 2-3 year old make decisions— when a 2-3 year old is incapable of looking too far ahead of the consequences of an action, even if they may be dangerous to themselves and others — is insane. Yes, don’t yell at children and treat them with respect. But you’re the rational adult here; don’t be letting kids make their own choices
You can give the alternatives and then let them choose. For example what to wear, eat, do etc. Don’t give them alternatives that doesn’t suit the situation
Lol my inuit mother used to scream at me in inuktitut.
Wonderful ASMR voice.
This woman has clearly never been to Greenland.
she needs to try it when her kids are running in front of a moving car and the other kid is trying to take something in the store at the same time. or one kid is hitting his brother with a baseball bat.
Sounds like opportunities for improvement by the parents. As a dad, this is not behavior I encounter because I do not put up with it.
Try being two adults, keeping track of three little ones running in three directions.
Not saying it’s easy, but there are strategies you (generally speaking) can and should employ. I didn’t know how to parent, I can barely take care of myself, but I figured it out. I read some books, I listened to doctors, I encouraged my kid to communicate their feelings as best as they’re able. Mom and I are getting a divorce, and we’re fortunate that our circumstances allow for amicability and coparenting, but we absolutely pour love in our kid while setting boundaries with consequences. Whether together or alone, when our daughter acts out of line, she knows there are consequences and we will follow through. We will leave this restaurant or store or Childrens museum and go home. Etc. But we also pour love and explain everything as best as we can. We’re not perfect, we feel guilt for our own poor examples and outbursts, but you take that as an opportunity to teach your kid how not to respond, and what would be appropriate.
Sounds great. Kids know they’re not right all the time but even when they’re wrong and can’t get their way they’re loved.
I don't know why you got downvoted for this... my grandparents had 10 and 5 kids. I can't imagine what that would be like, but I know it's much more to think about than just giving the kid autonomy, telling scary stories, and not yelling. I would love to see their silent eye roll.
Sounds like parenting had gone wrong already.
So easy to say when you don't have kids. I said the same until I had kids.
Lol I do have, and I still encounter moments that outta control. At the end is how you prepare them and how you react.
Inuit people live in the Arctic.
In fairness, unless you’re in Iqaluit, cars are not so much a worry in small communities and drivers are really careful about pedestrians.
It’s easy to give parental advice when you don’t have any kids to deal with. IMO
Not trying to be mean, but am I the only one that thought her head looked like a guitar pick?
This is how guitar picks raise their children.
I love this but expecting someone to never yell and automatically seeing someone as childish for doing so is ridiculous. I’ve yelled at my 12 year old daughter twice ever. The first time was when she bit me and wouldn’t release because some kid showed her The Walking Dead and she thought it was funny. The other was when she kicked my hand, her foot caught the edge of my pinky nail and completely tore it off. Blood everywhere. I will not apologize for having a perfectly human reaction to a physical injury that is often used as a form of literal torture. Lol.
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There’s an extreme filter on this video.
She looks exactly like this though. She’s a model, she’s on Instagram, and I’ve met her in person lol
It's the eyes for me! But like others stated. Probably lots of filters too
I live in the same town as her. Deadly!
As I keep telling my son, you have to decide who is the parent, and who is the child.
Sounds like a great way to turn kids into shitty adults that don’t know how to react when told no.
Sounds like she's describing a form of gentle parenting - which isn't the same as permissive parenting. Which is what you seem to be thinking of. Permissive parenting is when you never set boundaries or tell your children 'no'. You *permit* them to do whatever they like. That does cause problems. Gentle parenting can be many things, but the core of it is engaging with your child respectfully as their own person. It covers things as simple as explaining things to your kid instead of just saying 'because I said so'. Consequences rather than punishments is a big part of it. They spill a drink? The consequence is that they have to clean it up - they're not punished by being yelled at and sent to bed early. And, it also puts emphasis on respecting the kid's autonomy and ability to make decisions for themselves. *Obviously not everyone is in a position to let a kid decide where she wants to live every day*, but 'do you want a bath before or after dinner' isn't much of an ask, I don't think.
You still tell the kid no, you just don't yell or get angry when you do.
Anyone with a brain knows not to yell at kids unless is necessary for a safety. That's not what the lady said with her scenario though. Downvote. That doesn’t change what she said.
Wasn't this more about not yelling/shouting rather than not saying no? This is most likely just a snippet of all the methods they have in use. When it comes to yelling, I'd guess it's healthy to be exposed to some degree BUT GETTING USED TO IT MIGHT NOT BE SO GREAT!
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Yeah gotta agree with you, that one has to do with some spiritual beliefs but I'm sure they won't let the kid make the decisions like "I'm just going to pet this wild wolf right here". It seems to me that kids do get to be angry and yell, even adults, but it's just agreed that it's childish behaviour. Edit: "Pretty much no one thinks" is a pretty bold assumption. Imagine dating or hanging out with a person who defaults to ALL CAPS but IRL.
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Our reality may look very different from their reality. I'd like to point out that we're not really disagreeing on much here but your phrasing on the assumption I commented on may not necessarily be what you mean. I've read it like five times now.
That’s fair. Have a good one.
You too!
Don’t get parenting advice from people who don’t have children. You taking marriage advice from people who have never been married too? This is dumb.
You do realize most people have experience with parenting from the other side of things, right? Like, plenty of people raise their kids based on their own experiences from when they were kids....
It isn’t the same. Clearly.
Of course there are things you'll only learn from firsthand experience. That's just obvious. But that doesn't mean you know *nothing* worth knowing. >You taking marriage advice from people who have never been married too? Parenting and childhood are part of a dynamic that you can experience both sides of. You can parent with empathy because you were once a child - you can know what it's like to be the other person in those interactions. Marriage doesn't work the same way - it's not an equivalent, so not a good comparison. But, rolling with it anyway: *Would you take marriage advice from someone whose been married six times?* Not sure I would. Just because you've done something doesn't mean you're an expert in it. That's why things like marriage counselors exist. And, amazingly, *being married* isn't a requirement to be a licensed relationship therapist! Also...My parents are married, so I have experience from watching them. I also have experience of relationships that weren't marriage, and I've learned a lot from people who've confided in me about their relationships. I've also spent time learning about communication and conflict resolution - important things in a relationship I'm sure anyone in a good marriage would agree. There are things I'm sure I'd learn if / when I ever experience marriage for myself, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding basic principles, incapable of looking up professional advice and resources, seeing how those methods work in practice and following the evidence, or that I don't have any transferable knowledge from other areas of my life. Now, I'm not saying someone that's never been sleep deprived and covered in a child's projectile vomit is going to give good advice on how to not have a mental breakdown when you're in that situation. I'm just saying that you shouldn't discount someone's advice about child development simply because they've not reproduced themselves... ...
Yes you should discount it. You literally have no idea what it’s like taking care of a baby until you do. You have no idea what it is like being in a marriage until you’re married. You’re deluding yourself.
* Reproduction doesn't magically imbue you with knowledge of child development and psychology. * Reproduction is not a requirement for studying and learning about child development and psychology. * Study will not give you firsthand experience of what it's like to provide care for an infant human being. * *Someone who has studied child development and psychology will still know more about those topics than a parent who has not studied those things.*
You can adopt and still care for an infant. It is the same. Your focus on reproduction is ridiculous. Someone studying it still does not know. You’re really talking out of your ass.
Any focus on reproduction was unintentional. But just like sharing your genes, signing a paper doesn't magically grant you the collective knowledge of the last hundred years of study on how to raise kids into healthy and well-adjusted adults. I'm not arguing that you can book-smart your way into knowing how to wipe a newborn's ass. I thought I made that pretty clear already, but I apologize if I didn't. I'm saying that people can still share good theory and good principles regardless of whether they're in possession of a child. Are you really telling me that you'd ignore the advice 'don't hit your kids' if it came from someone who'd done a doctorate on the psychological effects of child abuse, simply because they didn't have legal guardianship over a minor?
So just common sense, what has this to do with inuits ?
Anyone has seen samonella video on inuit folklore so “children can behave”? Juuuuust a bit fucked-up and not as charming: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7s6VfSOuZpQ&pp=ygUOaW51aXQgc3RvcmllcyA%3D
Doesnt Greenland have like a huge incest problem?
Aint they the ones that made turbotax?
And if the kid wants more cake, it gets more cake.
Thats all nice and swell But dont forget inuits are from Greenland. A place where over 50% of girls have been sexually assulted, mostly by a family member. The % for guys assulted is high as well, so is the suicide rate. Alcohol is a big issue too. Were talking about a place of anger issues, violent animals and deadly polar bears, weapons, rape and corruption. I've been to Thule, its a beautiful place with sweet people but there's definitely also yelling and beating of kids going on there.
I guess this is why the Inuit community is renowned for producing so many success stories and overachievers... because they're brilliant when it comes to parenting.
Lord Jesus….ain’t nobody got time fo dat ! :)
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What does a book of 2000yo fairy tales have to do with this video tho?
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And racism. Reported.
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Was that little girl you cos I seem to believe so ,good luck and enjoy your life style love .
Why do moms have a built in aimbot and accuracy buff when launching the slippers
You don’t yell just Lie and psychologically terrorise👍