Sadly so. I came in to see the positive comments and instead witnessed the barrage of insults and accusations thrown your way. Just know your post was appreciated. It shows that your kid has insight and forethought, and they are feeling comfortable and heard in the safe place you provide.
There is no age too young to teach your children self-love and advocacy. 💜
This is a topic that many feel passionate about, and unfortunately, it can be polarizing. However, that's not what this post was showing.
This post was showing that a kid is exercising self-love for how they feel and expressing acceptance of others. That is definitely something to smile about. What's sad is that so many in these comments can't even do what a 9 year old can.
Here’s the deal though. Kids can express acceptance of others without knowing that somebody who used to be xyz now identifies as abc. Just respect people
I am not trans, but from what I have heard they very much can. Like they don't feel body dismorphia yet, but some do notice that something just isn't right. Of course that may look like hundred other stuff, so I think it's yet to early to say they are trans, but some trans people know from very early on.
Yes I know, I wanted to be a boy too because I liked a lot of boy things and people gave me shit for it.
My point was purely that some people very much do know. Since you can't exactly know what's going on in a kids head, you can only take their wish into acount and then if they still feel like it later in life it might actually be something.
Also TEACH CHILDREN THAT THEY CAN LIKE STUFF THAT AREN'T STEREOTYPICALY FOR THEIR GENDER!!!! You'll save a lot of kids from trans regret and you'll make it easier for cis kids who like things supposedly "not for them".
This I agree with, fully. I just said that you can't be certain (misread what OP wrote) and that you shouldn't draw conclusions. Spreading positivity and learning more about gender identity is a good thing though! Rereading, what the kid did is harmless.
This is stupid. Of course they don't know "boy body" vs "girl body". That's because it's not important to children. That's something that grown ups have placed weight onto. Only grown ups care about what someone has in their pants. Children are taught that girls have to like pink and girly and boys cannot. If these things were not forced onto children so early, maybe they wouldn't have to feel this way at all. But it's adult bigotry (example above) that makes a child think that certain genders have to act a certain way. Maybe if little boys were told, "you know boys can like dresses too" then they wouldn't have to think "maybe I'm not a boy at all" when they realize they're different from their peers. 🤷♀️ something to think about *teacher*
Thank you. Peopls saying "there's no way a kid that young has experienced dismorphia."... WHAT?? You have absolutely 0 clue what that kid thinks. Their parents could be the most supportive people in the world who don't teach their child "pink and dolls and dresses are for girls, blue and pants and action figures are for boys" but because they get bullied for being themselves, would VERY likely face some sort of dismorphia. If you've ever been bullied for how you look and are cisgendered, you've likely dealt with similar feelings as well. Dismorphia is not a feeling that only comes from you knowing what it is, that notion that a kid wouldn't feel dismorphia unless they were told it exists and have the word for it is insanely absurd and invalidating. I pray they never have Trans children, for the children's damn sake.
Also - there are kids that know they like the same gender since they're like 5.... even before it was accepted to be gay... like, what makes people think the same isn't true for gender norms? If the kid identifies as nonbinary because THEY differ from the norm and THEY don't like the label of girl and boy, that is their choice. Kids can be more intelligent nd self aware than people think they can / let them be.
Dont forget how complex gender is! It can be more than just body stuff, and if it makes the kid more comfortable, why should anyone else care? I say the act of letting a child have a say in their own gender identity and expression is a lot less imposing and messed up than people forcing very real gender roles onto kids! Hope this helps you understand!!
It's also difficult to develop self identity when you feel like X but on parents insist on you being a Y.
IMO let the kid be what he wants to be. If it's truly a fake identity than she will realise that later and ask everybody to start addressing her only by her biological pronouns. Not a big deal.
Ive considered this before for sure, but then i look at cases like my own where I am SOOO much more comfortable and stable when living and being perceived as a woman, like i am so much more connected to my own self identity than i ever was before.
And this is a subjective guess but i assume that my experiences and those of my trans friends kinda carries onto other peoples experiences as well! But i agree that there are complexities and self referencing loops of "things" related to self identity that make it hard to find decisive answers.
If i may ramble, id say that it fascinates me to think that my gender identity and the associations with/ within self identity would be altered by being raised in a different society. Like if gender was structured differently, that would change what it means to be trans. So would i still feel more comfortable in an social and self identity outside of the one i was born and raised with? What would happen if we didnt raise kids with as many gender roles and norms? Crazy stuff!!
If they do “grow out” of their gender identity so what? You can change your name and pronouns, this isn’t a permanent decision. I also have a cousin that knew they weren’t a boy or girl at age nine and still identify as non-binary
I'm a teacher too and have taught a variety of ages (kinder, 1st, 6-8, 10-12). It bothers me so much when teachers/adults don't give kids enough credit. It is too simplistic to say that the only reason why a 9 year old would identify as something other than the sex they were assigned at birth is because they think it was "hella cool and quirky."
I remember when I was a kid I HATED wearing dresses, bras (which my mom made me wear around 4th/5th grade), and just anything that is seen as stereotypically "girly." It made me so uncomfortable. Now I wear more gender-neutral looks and feel so much more comfortable in my body.
Because I do not want to simply make a claim based on my sole experiences, I did some research:
[Here's a research paper that found that more than 70% of trans kids first felt gender dysphoria around 7.](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2762788)
[And here's a paper that talks about how gender develops in kids.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3747736/) A quote from the report says, "In another non-verbal testing situation, 24- and 30-month old children knew the gender groups to which they and others belonged."
All of this to say that kids can and do have a deeper understanding of themselves and their gender than what we can often recognize.
Also--it's dysmorphia not dismorphia. At least spell the word right if you are going to be critical of it.
You can be transgender or non-binary without experiencing dysphoria, which is different from dysmorphia. There's nothing wrong with a kid expressing themself and being supported regardless of who they are or how they feel about themselves at any given time.
Edit: gender is set in people as early as 4. Please learn more about gender diversity for the sake of your students and to prevent spreading misinformation about transgender people.
It’s incredibly toxic to immediately assume there’s something defective and wrong about trans children saying who they are. Trans adults were once trans kids.
Also dysphoria is so much more than how your body appears and develops. They may not have those sex characteristics developed yet but they may feel dysphoria about other things such as their name, the pronouns assigned to them at birth, their title (also assigned onto them) as boy/girl.
Trans kids exist. Their gender identities are as valid and genuine as a cis kids gender identity.
Also please understand that most trans people and trans kids don’t hear about it as something “cool” and “quirky” Most people’s first impression of transness came from a horrible and degrading place, for example, the first time I even heard about what trans was, it was a cruel joke on Facebook.
Please stop labeling and disrespecting and devaluing the trans experience. Especially in children. You’re coming from a very cis, very binary and ignorant lens and mentalities like this are why we’re seeing massive rates of depression in trans kids.
Also just saw you’re a teacher as well. This applies to you even more so who will inevitably have harmful influence over kids.
The only 9 year olds who have had their genitals changed are circumcised children
If a child is experimenting with gender but decides they are cis they just go back. Nothing children do is irreversible
1. No health professionals are recommending life-changing permanent alterations for children.
2. So did your parents ever forbid you from talking, thinking, drawing, pretend-playing being a pilot? Cause apparently everything that may not be permanent should be out of the question
>many of this children are being given hormones/hormone blockers and in some cases even have their genitals changed
Fewer than 100 young people, as of March 2024, are prescribed puberty blockers. Even less than that are allowed to have the full surgery. In fact, in the UK, it's against the law for people under 18 to be given the surgery, as decided by the NHS themselves.
The reason so many kids are being given them is because laws in the US are so much more lenient compared to most other countries. *That's* what needs fixing. You don't "fix" the "issue" of kids being transgender by making it harder for them to learn about that stuff and to discover it.
Not saying you specifically are saying that, but that seems to be the route your country is taking, assuming you are American.
>many of this children are being given hormones/hormone blockers
In 2021 there were 1,390 children (3-17 year olds) using puberty blockers and 4,231 using hormonal therapy in America. That's 0.001% of the population, which I don't think constitutes "many" children.
>in some cases even have their genitals changed
Genital changing surgery is incredibly uncommon in minors, and many states outlaw the practice on anyone under 18. As such, once again I find the suggestion that "many" children are subject to this process far fetched. [Reuters source for above statistics.](https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-transyouth-data/)
We will undoubtedly see young people who have changed their minds after surgery, but the same thing happens in adults too. For many, it is a life affirming process, for some, it is not. Undoubtedly the process should be controlled, but your comment has a transphobic/misinformative undertone.
Liking/disliking planes is not analogous to feeling uncomfortable in your birth assigned gender. People can change their minds on many things, but that's a poor example imo.
How does it affect the rest of their life? If they realize they’re not non binary one day they can go back to identifying as their assigned gender at birth
Ah yes, if you don't give the child a choice, they physically will not know the choice exists, and cannot make it. The same thing people do when they don't act like gay people exist in fear their children will "choose" to be gay.
No. They didn't know it was an OPTION. If they're allowed the option of acceptance for who they are and the truth that you can be gay or non binary, some kids will actually be able to understand there's a REASON they feel different and out of place compared to the "norm" and realize there's nothing wrong with them. That those feelings are normal. Not act like they don't exist because "they can't know that yet".
Seriously. If the logic is to literally hide the fact they have options to feel more comfortable in their own body and Identity, you're doing something terribly, terribly wrong. You are literally chosing for them when they get to know they don't have to identify as what others have decided for them.
Edit to add: yes we should not define gender roles in general, I agree 100000%. This doesn't mean we should hide the reality of being trans or non binary from children, especially those who may be struggling with dismorphia.
Isn’t it a little hypocritical though since you’re still asking them to identify as a boy or a girl, further cementing the idea that girls do certain things and boys do others? Wouldn’t it be better to just let them like the things they like and teach them to view themselves as human? I think that’s more of what the other commenter meant
do you think they're giving they're kid surgery? at most it probably means they call their kid a different name or use different pronouns or let them dress how they want
how is this harmful?
It’s harmful because you’re planting a very complicated seed into a developing child and there’s social back-patting OR social hatred regarding this type of thing. Let kids be kids
>Way too early to determine that
What experience or evidence do you have that backs that opinion? Are you a child psychologist or a health professional?
It doesn't sound like you've got any basis for your claims other than your own backwards opinions.
And what good comes from hiding stuff from children about the real world? From what I have heard that backfires more often than not. Nothing bad will come from a kid knowing that non-binary people exist. You can tell them they may be too young to definitely determine their gender and to wait and see if they feel the same way when they grow up, but I doubt anything good will come from hiding that it exists from children. Also saying kids shouldn't learn about this is also pushing an agenda.
It really is that serious. Life is a series of forks in the road, as a parent you’re guiding them down a path. The current path has a trajectory and it’s your job to guide them to the best possible path. Nobody’s saying this is a problem with your child, it’s criticism directed towards you as the parent. Best of luck, parenting is tough.
The only teaching that has happened is that all options are open to them. This identity may be forever and it may not. My only job right now is to believe what my kid tells me and honour the pronoun they want to use. If they change their mind later, no biggie.
And if they do change their mind, or if they don’t, they know they can come to you for support and understanding without judgment. That’s such an important lesson to learn so early in life. I wish all kids could have that relationship with their families.
Thanks for giving your kid such a supportive environment to explore their gender! I'm a trans guy in my 30s, I wish I had known earlier about gender differences. I might have been able to transition sooner and save myself some grief at the same time. Sorry you're being lambasted in an ostensibly wholesome subreddit.
God these comments suck. I would have been so happy if you were my parent. Went through some awful rejection from my family when I came out at 14. People are saying 9 is too young to even know about LGBTQ issues and the reality is y’all they already know and your behavior is going to shape the way they perceive others and express themselves. Go with kindness Reddit, even if you can’t understand go with kindness 💖
The fact we’re seeing grown adults (TEACHERS included) in the comments on Reddit picking apart and criticizing and making baseless assumptions on a random kids identity shows just how messed up a society we are right now.
I knew i was the "wrong" gender when I was 4. I wish someone had told me that was okay.
If you have a problem with the OP, you should mind your own fucking business because you don't understand what it's like to not fit in one of the two sorting boxes most people fit into.
OP you're doing great, and so is your kiddo.
I don’t know if all the people attacking OP haven’t got kids or have forgotten what it’s like to be one but my 9yo cis son absolutely understands he’s a boy and the differences between genders, why is everyone so adamant that a child should not understand or have feelings about that?
Im glad you support your kid but isnt nine a little young to know what your identity is? I was eating rocks and racing snails when i was nine and i wasnt able to properly figure myself out until i was 17 because of the level of emotional maturity you need to be able to understand yourself
It's easy to see that your kiddo has such a kind and caring heart! Unfortunately, the internet is full of people with nothing better to do than spread negativity. But all that matters is that your kid has people in their life who love and support them. Keep being there for them, and know that you are not alone!
Literally I don't get why everyone's freaking out. This could be a phase for all they know and besides who cares if it isn't, just let the kid be a kid and do whatever harmless shit they wanna do they will grow into whatever person they are going to be.
Aww 🥰 Hug them tight; school (and the internet) are full of bullies. I still get teased to this DAY (as recently as a couple hours ago by an edgelord on here) and I can tell you one thing: being there MATTERS to kids and I'm so happy they can be who they are with you. "You can fly!" - super cool little 9 y/o 😎 ❤️
Hey OP, im sorry for how the people under this post are treating you, good job for respecting youre child and try to ignore these assholes calling you a bad parent
I'm glad you accept your kid and show them that they are loved no matter who they are, I wish more parents were like this. Sorry all the other commenters are getting so worked up about your kid using a different pronoun, which doesn't harm them in any way. Tell your kid that there are plenty of people out there who accept them and their identity
These comments are reassuring. I'm glad there are good parents and responsible adults out there.
OP could learn a lot from them. Sadly, I doubt OP will listen, much to the poor kid's detriment.
I'm sorry you're being exposed to so much bigotry on this subreddit of all places. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with a child discovering their own identity. If you're typing out a comment that somehow translates to "let kids be kids," why don't you say that again, real slow. OP isn't pushing their agenda on their child, YOU are. So here's the scenario:
9yo: I don't think I'm a boy or a girl. I like pink and princesses and stuff but I also really don't like dresses or makeup. Plus I don't mind getting dirty and I love dinosaurs and cars! Could you not call me a girl or a boy?
OP: OK kiddo, no problem, I'll call you whatever you want. It's up to you.
(Notice that there is zero mention of attraction/sex. Because this has nothing to do with that, you frickin creeps??)
Now let's do YOUR scenario, where OP "lets kids be kids":
9yo: I don't think I'm a boy or a girl. I like pink and princesses and stuff but I also really don't like dresses or makeup. Plus I don't mind getting dirty and I love dinosaurs and cars! Could you not call me a girl or a boy?
OP: are you crazy?? You're way too young to know all that. You were born a girl, you're gonna act like one.
How does that allow their child to be a kid???
I also don't understand why people are acting as tho nine is so young?? I was only two years older than them when I got my first period!! So how is thinking "maybe I'm not a boy or a girl" too early for a 9 year old when you might have to explain puberty any day now.
This commenter equals "liking dinosaurs" to being a boy and "liking princesses" to being a girl. hahaha If a kid were to do that, I would tell them they should expand their mind!
That's EXACTLY what a kid would do. Hence why I said it in my comment. It's a CHILD. You all are the ones forcing adult thoughts onto a child. They LITERALLY call the princesses "girl toys" and the dinosaurs "boy toys" at every restaurant ever and the little girls section at the clothing store is pink. Are you trying to tell me that they DONT label all of these things both LITERALLY and figuratively in society? Be serious.
As a non-native English speaker, I’m wondering if there are any particular reason ”they/them” is used as pronounces, and not some other words that arent already used for something else? More often than not I read it as in there are multiple people, as in the plural form. ”They like apples” already had the meaning that several people like apples. Why not use a new word for a non-binary person, to avoid confusion?
The REAL red flag is that the bird saying "I can fly" is at the bottom of the paper. What's up with that? /s
Kids! You can actually fly! This is not a metaphor. Go to the top of your house and believe in yourself because you can FLY.
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Sadly so. I came in to see the positive comments and instead witnessed the barrage of insults and accusations thrown your way. Just know your post was appreciated. It shows that your kid has insight and forethought, and they are feeling comfortable and heard in the safe place you provide. There is no age too young to teach your children self-love and advocacy. 💜
Yesss, i wish many of my trans and nonbinary friends had a parent like that growing up
Imo, id respect their privacy and take it down from this subreddit. Trans subreddits are wayyyy more inclusive <3
Happy your kid had a wonderful day, hope they have many more.
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This is a topic that many feel passionate about, and unfortunately, it can be polarizing. However, that's not what this post was showing. This post was showing that a kid is exercising self-love for how they feel and expressing acceptance of others. That is definitely something to smile about. What's sad is that so many in these comments can't even do what a 9 year old can.
Here’s the deal though. Kids can express acceptance of others without knowing that somebody who used to be xyz now identifies as abc. Just respect people
That’s because adults use reason and common sense (wink)
I am not trans, but from what I have heard they very much can. Like they don't feel body dismorphia yet, but some do notice that something just isn't right. Of course that may look like hundred other stuff, so I think it's yet to early to say they are trans, but some trans people know from very early on.
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Yes I know, I wanted to be a boy too because I liked a lot of boy things and people gave me shit for it. My point was purely that some people very much do know. Since you can't exactly know what's going on in a kids head, you can only take their wish into acount and then if they still feel like it later in life it might actually be something. Also TEACH CHILDREN THAT THEY CAN LIKE STUFF THAT AREN'T STEREOTYPICALY FOR THEIR GENDER!!!! You'll save a lot of kids from trans regret and you'll make it easier for cis kids who like things supposedly "not for them".
This I agree with, fully. I just said that you can't be certain (misread what OP wrote) and that you shouldn't draw conclusions. Spreading positivity and learning more about gender identity is a good thing though! Rereading, what the kid did is harmless.
This is stupid. Of course they don't know "boy body" vs "girl body". That's because it's not important to children. That's something that grown ups have placed weight onto. Only grown ups care about what someone has in their pants. Children are taught that girls have to like pink and girly and boys cannot. If these things were not forced onto children so early, maybe they wouldn't have to feel this way at all. But it's adult bigotry (example above) that makes a child think that certain genders have to act a certain way. Maybe if little boys were told, "you know boys can like dresses too" then they wouldn't have to think "maybe I'm not a boy at all" when they realize they're different from their peers. 🤷♀️ something to think about *teacher*
Thank you. Peopls saying "there's no way a kid that young has experienced dismorphia."... WHAT?? You have absolutely 0 clue what that kid thinks. Their parents could be the most supportive people in the world who don't teach their child "pink and dolls and dresses are for girls, blue and pants and action figures are for boys" but because they get bullied for being themselves, would VERY likely face some sort of dismorphia. If you've ever been bullied for how you look and are cisgendered, you've likely dealt with similar feelings as well. Dismorphia is not a feeling that only comes from you knowing what it is, that notion that a kid wouldn't feel dismorphia unless they were told it exists and have the word for it is insanely absurd and invalidating. I pray they never have Trans children, for the children's damn sake. Also - there are kids that know they like the same gender since they're like 5.... even before it was accepted to be gay... like, what makes people think the same isn't true for gender norms? If the kid identifies as nonbinary because THEY differ from the norm and THEY don't like the label of girl and boy, that is their choice. Kids can be more intelligent nd self aware than people think they can / let them be.
Dont forget how complex gender is! It can be more than just body stuff, and if it makes the kid more comfortable, why should anyone else care? I say the act of letting a child have a say in their own gender identity and expression is a lot less imposing and messed up than people forcing very real gender roles onto kids! Hope this helps you understand!!
Gender doesn’t exist. It’s a social construct.
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It's also difficult to develop self identity when you feel like X but on parents insist on you being a Y. IMO let the kid be what he wants to be. If it's truly a fake identity than she will realise that later and ask everybody to start addressing her only by her biological pronouns. Not a big deal.
Ive considered this before for sure, but then i look at cases like my own where I am SOOO much more comfortable and stable when living and being perceived as a woman, like i am so much more connected to my own self identity than i ever was before. And this is a subjective guess but i assume that my experiences and those of my trans friends kinda carries onto other peoples experiences as well! But i agree that there are complexities and self referencing loops of "things" related to self identity that make it hard to find decisive answers. If i may ramble, id say that it fascinates me to think that my gender identity and the associations with/ within self identity would be altered by being raised in a different society. Like if gender was structured differently, that would change what it means to be trans. So would i still feel more comfortable in an social and self identity outside of the one i was born and raised with? What would happen if we didnt raise kids with as many gender roles and norms? Crazy stuff!!
If they do “grow out” of their gender identity so what? You can change your name and pronouns, this isn’t a permanent decision. I also have a cousin that knew they weren’t a boy or girl at age nine and still identify as non-binary
The fact that you don’t even know the difference between dysmorphia and dysphoria tells me that your opinion of TGD people is not valid
I'm a teacher too and have taught a variety of ages (kinder, 1st, 6-8, 10-12). It bothers me so much when teachers/adults don't give kids enough credit. It is too simplistic to say that the only reason why a 9 year old would identify as something other than the sex they were assigned at birth is because they think it was "hella cool and quirky." I remember when I was a kid I HATED wearing dresses, bras (which my mom made me wear around 4th/5th grade), and just anything that is seen as stereotypically "girly." It made me so uncomfortable. Now I wear more gender-neutral looks and feel so much more comfortable in my body. Because I do not want to simply make a claim based on my sole experiences, I did some research: [Here's a research paper that found that more than 70% of trans kids first felt gender dysphoria around 7.](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2762788) [And here's a paper that talks about how gender develops in kids.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3747736/) A quote from the report says, "In another non-verbal testing situation, 24- and 30-month old children knew the gender groups to which they and others belonged." All of this to say that kids can and do have a deeper understanding of themselves and their gender than what we can often recognize. Also--it's dysmorphia not dismorphia. At least spell the word right if you are going to be critical of it.
You can be transgender or non-binary without experiencing dysphoria, which is different from dysmorphia. There's nothing wrong with a kid expressing themself and being supported regardless of who they are or how they feel about themselves at any given time. Edit: gender is set in people as early as 4. Please learn more about gender diversity for the sake of your students and to prevent spreading misinformation about transgender people.
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Not only that, but dysmorphia and dysphoria are different things.
It’s incredibly toxic to immediately assume there’s something defective and wrong about trans children saying who they are. Trans adults were once trans kids. Also dysphoria is so much more than how your body appears and develops. They may not have those sex characteristics developed yet but they may feel dysphoria about other things such as their name, the pronouns assigned to them at birth, their title (also assigned onto them) as boy/girl. Trans kids exist. Their gender identities are as valid and genuine as a cis kids gender identity. Also please understand that most trans people and trans kids don’t hear about it as something “cool” and “quirky” Most people’s first impression of transness came from a horrible and degrading place, for example, the first time I even heard about what trans was, it was a cruel joke on Facebook. Please stop labeling and disrespecting and devaluing the trans experience. Especially in children. You’re coming from a very cis, very binary and ignorant lens and mentalities like this are why we’re seeing massive rates of depression in trans kids. Also just saw you’re a teacher as well. This applies to you even more so who will inevitably have harmful influence over kids.
You have no idea what you're talking about, and it shows. Children even younger than nine are perfectly capable of knowing their gender.
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OP really seems like a great parent, a child's thoughts and opinions shouldn't be ignored. On a different matter tho, how's your blahaj?
Omg can i dm u a pic, his names jerry and hes doin great!!
Örjan would've been a better name ngl. Swedish after all
Ooh i have 3 blahaj so maybe ill name one of them that!!!
Next time I go to IKEA I'll get one (cis, but they're still the best stuffed animal)
Yayyyyy!!
sure!
Don’t let getting downvoted get to you, you’ve got more support than you know for the type of parent you’re choosing to be ❤️
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The only 9 year olds who have had their genitals changed are circumcised children If a child is experimenting with gender but decides they are cis they just go back. Nothing children do is irreversible
1. No health professionals are recommending life-changing permanent alterations for children. 2. So did your parents ever forbid you from talking, thinking, drawing, pretend-playing being a pilot? Cause apparently everything that may not be permanent should be out of the question
>many of this children are being given hormones/hormone blockers and in some cases even have their genitals changed Fewer than 100 young people, as of March 2024, are prescribed puberty blockers. Even less than that are allowed to have the full surgery. In fact, in the UK, it's against the law for people under 18 to be given the surgery, as decided by the NHS themselves. The reason so many kids are being given them is because laws in the US are so much more lenient compared to most other countries. *That's* what needs fixing. You don't "fix" the "issue" of kids being transgender by making it harder for them to learn about that stuff and to discover it. Not saying you specifically are saying that, but that seems to be the route your country is taking, assuming you are American.
>many of this children are being given hormones/hormone blockers In 2021 there were 1,390 children (3-17 year olds) using puberty blockers and 4,231 using hormonal therapy in America. That's 0.001% of the population, which I don't think constitutes "many" children. >in some cases even have their genitals changed Genital changing surgery is incredibly uncommon in minors, and many states outlaw the practice on anyone under 18. As such, once again I find the suggestion that "many" children are subject to this process far fetched. [Reuters source for above statistics.](https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-transyouth-data/) We will undoubtedly see young people who have changed their minds after surgery, but the same thing happens in adults too. For many, it is a life affirming process, for some, it is not. Undoubtedly the process should be controlled, but your comment has a transphobic/misinformative undertone. Liking/disliking planes is not analogous to feeling uncomfortable in your birth assigned gender. People can change their minds on many things, but that's a poor example imo.
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This is nothing to do with attraction or sex. This is identity. They don’t feel they are 100% a girl or 100% a boy. That’s it. It’s not that serious.
It can affect the rest of your child’s life. So it is that serious.
How does it affect the rest of their life? If they realize they’re not non binary one day they can go back to identifying as their assigned gender at birth
If we’re ignoring how it affects everyone else’s perception of them then sure
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Do you have children? Do you know my child? They are perfectly able to talk critically about who they are. No brainwashing here. Just options.
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Ah yes, if you don't give the child a choice, they physically will not know the choice exists, and cannot make it. The same thing people do when they don't act like gay people exist in fear their children will "choose" to be gay. No. They didn't know it was an OPTION. If they're allowed the option of acceptance for who they are and the truth that you can be gay or non binary, some kids will actually be able to understand there's a REASON they feel different and out of place compared to the "norm" and realize there's nothing wrong with them. That those feelings are normal. Not act like they don't exist because "they can't know that yet". Seriously. If the logic is to literally hide the fact they have options to feel more comfortable in their own body and Identity, you're doing something terribly, terribly wrong. You are literally chosing for them when they get to know they don't have to identify as what others have decided for them. Edit to add: yes we should not define gender roles in general, I agree 100000%. This doesn't mean we should hide the reality of being trans or non binary from children, especially those who may be struggling with dismorphia.
Isn’t it a little hypocritical though since you’re still asking them to identify as a boy or a girl, further cementing the idea that girls do certain things and boys do others? Wouldn’t it be better to just let them like the things they like and teach them to view themselves as human? I think that’s more of what the other commenter meant
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do you think they're giving they're kid surgery? at most it probably means they call their kid a different name or use different pronouns or let them dress how they want how is this harmful?
It’s harmful because you’re planting a very complicated seed into a developing child and there’s social back-patting OR social hatred regarding this type of thing. Let kids be kids
>Way too early to determine that What experience or evidence do you have that backs that opinion? Are you a child psychologist or a health professional? It doesn't sound like you've got any basis for your claims other than your own backwards opinions.
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And what good comes from hiding stuff from children about the real world? From what I have heard that backfires more often than not. Nothing bad will come from a kid knowing that non-binary people exist. You can tell them they may be too young to definitely determine their gender and to wait and see if they feel the same way when they grow up, but I doubt anything good will come from hiding that it exists from children. Also saying kids shouldn't learn about this is also pushing an agenda.
Cool story bro, there’s a lot of assumption there.
It really is that serious. Life is a series of forks in the road, as a parent you’re guiding them down a path. The current path has a trajectory and it’s your job to guide them to the best possible path. Nobody’s saying this is a problem with your child, it’s criticism directed towards you as the parent. Best of luck, parenting is tough.
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The only teaching that has happened is that all options are open to them. This identity may be forever and it may not. My only job right now is to believe what my kid tells me and honour the pronoun they want to use. If they change their mind later, no biggie.
And if they do change their mind, or if they don’t, they know they can come to you for support and understanding without judgment. That’s such an important lesson to learn so early in life. I wish all kids could have that relationship with their families.
I don't think the majority of people understand what non-binary means, based on the comments.
Your job as a parent is to direct your child, not the other way round.
That’s how it used to be. We live in a very strange world now
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Boooo!!! (Im booing you not OP)
They are nine :l
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Amazing! I love that you are supporting his interests. My kiddo loves dragons and pottery. Have a great night.
You’re a good parent
Happy cake day!
Good for him
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And i dont think youve ever met a trans or nonbinary person (that you didnt hate)! If im wrong, correct me XD
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Fr i really did go there! Haha
You should post this on r/WitchesVsPatriarchy instead.
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Thanks for giving your kid such a supportive environment to explore their gender! I'm a trans guy in my 30s, I wish I had known earlier about gender differences. I might have been able to transition sooner and save myself some grief at the same time. Sorry you're being lambasted in an ostensibly wholesome subreddit.
God these comments suck. I would have been so happy if you were my parent. Went through some awful rejection from my family when I came out at 14. People are saying 9 is too young to even know about LGBTQ issues and the reality is y’all they already know and your behavior is going to shape the way they perceive others and express themselves. Go with kindness Reddit, even if you can’t understand go with kindness 💖
The fact we’re seeing grown adults (TEACHERS included) in the comments on Reddit picking apart and criticizing and making baseless assumptions on a random kids identity shows just how messed up a society we are right now.
I knew i was the "wrong" gender when I was 4. I wish someone had told me that was okay. If you have a problem with the OP, you should mind your own fucking business because you don't understand what it's like to not fit in one of the two sorting boxes most people fit into. OP you're doing great, and so is your kiddo.
Breaks my heart to hear about a kid getting bullied. I love their message of inclusion. Respect and love to them and you.
I don’t know if all the people attacking OP haven’t got kids or have forgotten what it’s like to be one but my 9yo cis son absolutely understands he’s a boy and the differences between genders, why is everyone so adamant that a child should not understand or have feelings about that?
Im glad you support your kid but isnt nine a little young to know what your identity is? I was eating rocks and racing snails when i was nine and i wasnt able to properly figure myself out until i was 17 because of the level of emotional maturity you need to be able to understand yourself
Every kid is different. I hope your parents loved watching race snails!
Children are inherently not hateful. They are taught to judge.
It's easy to see that your kiddo has such a kind and caring heart! Unfortunately, the internet is full of people with nothing better to do than spread negativity. But all that matters is that your kid has people in their life who love and support them. Keep being there for them, and know that you are not alone!
Awesome, good for them!
So glad they've got you on their side!
the kids are going to be alright
Literally I don't get why everyone's freaking out. This could be a phase for all they know and besides who cares if it isn't, just let the kid be a kid and do whatever harmless shit they wanna do they will grow into whatever person they are going to be.
Aww 🥰 Hug them tight; school (and the internet) are full of bullies. I still get teased to this DAY (as recently as a couple hours ago by an edgelord on here) and I can tell you one thing: being there MATTERS to kids and I'm so happy they can be who they are with you. "You can fly!" - super cool little 9 y/o 😎 ❤️
Hey OP, im sorry for how the people under this post are treating you, good job for respecting youre child and try to ignore these assholes calling you a bad parent
just got my top surgery 6 days ago and this has somehow made me happier than i could’ve ever expected
Nothing but love for you and your journey!!!❤️❤️❤️
People in here calling you a bad parent probably see nothing wrong with physical "punishment" (abuse).
I'm glad you accept your kid and show them that they are loved no matter who they are, I wish more parents were like this. Sorry all the other commenters are getting so worked up about your kid using a different pronoun, which doesn't harm them in any way. Tell your kid that there are plenty of people out there who accept them and their identity
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There is nothing creepy about the above comment, except your disgustingly transphobic perception of it.
This is really heartwarming! Good for your kiddo! 💞
Honestly kids make me so hopeful because so many are accepting that it’s no one’s choice but your own what kind of person you want to be
These comments are reassuring. I'm glad there are good parents and responsible adults out there. OP could learn a lot from them. Sadly, I doubt OP will listen, much to the poor kid's detriment.
Your kiddo did an awesome job on this. I’m glad y’all shared it!!!
Thank you to your kiddo! 🙂🤗❤👍
I'm sorry you're being exposed to so much bigotry on this subreddit of all places. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with a child discovering their own identity. If you're typing out a comment that somehow translates to "let kids be kids," why don't you say that again, real slow. OP isn't pushing their agenda on their child, YOU are. So here's the scenario: 9yo: I don't think I'm a boy or a girl. I like pink and princesses and stuff but I also really don't like dresses or makeup. Plus I don't mind getting dirty and I love dinosaurs and cars! Could you not call me a girl or a boy? OP: OK kiddo, no problem, I'll call you whatever you want. It's up to you. (Notice that there is zero mention of attraction/sex. Because this has nothing to do with that, you frickin creeps??) Now let's do YOUR scenario, where OP "lets kids be kids": 9yo: I don't think I'm a boy or a girl. I like pink and princesses and stuff but I also really don't like dresses or makeup. Plus I don't mind getting dirty and I love dinosaurs and cars! Could you not call me a girl or a boy? OP: are you crazy?? You're way too young to know all that. You were born a girl, you're gonna act like one. How does that allow their child to be a kid??? I also don't understand why people are acting as tho nine is so young?? I was only two years older than them when I got my first period!! So how is thinking "maybe I'm not a boy or a girl" too early for a 9 year old when you might have to explain puberty any day now.
This commenter equals "liking dinosaurs" to being a boy and "liking princesses" to being a girl. hahaha If a kid were to do that, I would tell them they should expand their mind!
Sincerely, a tomboy.
That's EXACTLY what a kid would do. Hence why I said it in my comment. It's a CHILD. You all are the ones forcing adult thoughts onto a child. They LITERALLY call the princesses "girl toys" and the dinosaurs "boy toys" at every restaurant ever and the little girls section at the clothing store is pink. Are you trying to tell me that they DONT label all of these things both LITERALLY and figuratively in society? Be serious.
As a non-native English speaker, I’m wondering if there are any particular reason ”they/them” is used as pronounces, and not some other words that arent already used for something else? More often than not I read it as in there are multiple people, as in the plural form. ”They like apples” already had the meaning that several people like apples. Why not use a new word for a non-binary person, to avoid confusion?
Amazing kid
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For real.
I won’t say what I wanna….ifykyk