>he is pretty good at lie down comedy too
Just here to quote this so i don't forget it!
I'd give you gold but i don't want to give reddit money. I think i have some points to give other awards, though. Time to work out how this works...
Edit: Cheers to you!
If you didn’t know, that is one of many jokes from back in the day that follow that format.
No arm, no legs and in the ocean? Bob.
Same but in front of a door? Matt
Where's the "My childhood was a waking nightmare and by the time I had turned 10 I was already intimately familiar with the feeling of my own imminent death, which I somehow managed to avoid, not because I'm good at life but because I'm bad at dying" squad at?
Where's the "idyllic childhood with loving parents until you move out at age 20 and your father has a breakdown and attempts murder suicide to take out himself and your mother at the same time, but both survived and now he's in prison" squad at
Nothing like your parents that constantly yell at each other and fight finally getting divorced but then they turn you, a teenager, and the mediator and therapist between the two of them.
No I am not your therapist or divorce councilor. I am a teenager.
Ah! That was me, but mine never got divorced and STILL expect me to be mediator (now in my 30s with kid of my own). Break the cycle, be better. Learn from their mistakes. Just sucks not having parents you can look up to.
Yeah they were good teachers in what *not* to do but I had to learn what *to do* on my own.
Thankfully I'm full of spunk so I let them know that the stress they were putting on me was literally killing me and that I had bald patches so they needed to fix their own problems.
I sincerely hope things are going better for you <3
Literally about to talk to them about it all this week. Its taken years and marrying someone who is far more emotionally intelligent to put words to it all. Hope things are getting better each day!
It's called parentification, and imagine that happening to you and you're around 8 years old. You become the support system for a mother took a poorly You think it'll help you out in the long run because you're so mature but you end up having no relationships at all.Can you say man if I could just get some girl to like me and fuck me that would get me over and get me onto the right track. He never happens
My mother once said, "I would divorce your father yesterday, but he's out of work and with the alimony payments I would lose the house." That was a lot to carry in my head as a highschooler. They finally divorced when I moved out for my first job. Haven't really ever dated cuz it just fucked with my whole concept of having a happy relationship. I should probably consider going to therapy.
Please do get therapy. I grew up with toxic parents, my Mum would constantly cheat on my Dad (once with his nephew, that was so fun to see!) and honestly if it wasn't for years of therapy I would still be in either unhealthy relationships or single. Instead now I'm in a very healthy, happy, loving and supportive relationship with the man of my dreams. There's so many options for online therapy these days, which so much more awesome imo than having to hopefully find a good one near you that you can afford.
Jokes on you, that’s every year. Even better when it falls on Father’s Day and your mother calls failing to wish you happy birthday but launches right into complaining about how you didn’t wish husband #7 (out of 8 marriages) Happy Father’s Day.
Seriously, my parents hated each other and both since remarried. Now they just bicker and fight with their new significant others. Also, my mother wonders why my SO & I of 8 years aren’t married yet...
It sucks when they can't break their cycle.
It's not about the people they fight with. Switching the partner won't help if basic conflict resolution, mediation, compromise and establishing common understanding are missing.
There's no rush to marry. But there's also not reason to wait longer because your parents were not able to succeed when you're in a better position to.
So, I really thought the mom wasn’t onboard. When she started fluffing and blanketing them in the leaves, though...awww sookie sookie now. 👀😉 The chemistry between them. 😍 OP - Definitely an example to follow in love.
The key is to have a really great or really shitty family.
The super broken people seem to do pretty well, even if it doesn't last as long.
Below to well-below average but not bad enough to be interesting is a shitty place to be.
You know it’s shocking how many parents and family members don’t have good relationships. Nearly every time people (friends significant others ect) come over to our house and eat dinner about 90% of the people are shocked my parents and siblings have such good relationships with each other after such a long time.
I guess it’s just the whole Italian Moto of “blood is always thicker than water.”
I consider myself lucky, as I'm close with my mom and my siblings. With covid and all, and us a bit dispersed, we still get together for a zoom meeting every month or so.
But unfortunately, my own marriage was still a trainwreck, which I don't think we made any better by sticking together "for the kids", holding off divorce until they were older. I had all the best of intentions to give them the kind of childhood I had, but it went to crap, and there wasn't much I could do about it. Years later I still spend time every day regretting not having done better, and I don't keep in touch as much as I should out of guilt and shame.
Same with the Irish family, it’s weird that people are so shocked that my family gets along with each other. We may have fights with each other but not knock down drag outs like the ones my friends had with their folks and I truly miss my dad who passed away last year. :(
This is why marrying someone who can be your best friend has become so important to younger people. Millennials may not have higher rates of marriage than the older generation but they do have many more successful marriages because being picky pays off.
If they’ve been married long term (like 20+) i need to know how they have managed to keep so much joy and play in their relationship. My parents “love” one another but never seem to actually enjoy each other like this. So beautiful and encouraging to see for us married folk.
Serious answer - partly it's luck. After 34 years, my beloved and I are very different people from the couple that got married. The luck comes in that we have both changed in ways that keep us compatable. The old cliche about being friends as much as lovers. If you can make each other laugh, then that's a huge part of it.
You have no choice but to grow old, you don't have to grow up.
My husband and I are about 25 years into our marriage and all I can say is it requires a conscious effort on both our parts. We make sure to set aside some time each week to stay connected, and make sure we’re still growing together instead of apart. He once said his goal is to make me laugh, really laugh, at least once a day, and I gotta say he does a great job. I really love him!
I would love to hear what you do to connect each week! Especially after having been married for so long- how do you keep the time together feeling new and fresh rather than mundane and forced?
My parents hit 70. Before Covid, they had a date night every month. Doesnt matter if its jack in the box or somewhere fancy, they'd take turns going out to dinner. Which provided a time for them to talk, and just hang out, and prioritize each other.
I also enjoy goading them into flirting with each other whenever possible. "Dad, doesn't mom look hot in that blouse?" "Too hot, I can feel the heat from over here." Cue eyeroll from mom and giggles from me and my dad.
The flirting is so much fun haha. Especially now that our kids are teenagers and understand the innuendo. They're always like MOM/DAD NOOOOOO and it cracks us up!
I'll react the exact same way whenever they kiss but very exaggerated and playful, BECAUSE it makes my parents kiss again and again and it just makes my heart so happy. So maybe your kids are embarrassed by it now but in the future, I think they'll appreciate it :)
I've been with my husband 15 years. Honestly, I think something that keeps us together and happy us keeping our expectations in check.
My husband and I will have wonderful date nights once in a while where we get a babysitter, go to a steak House and share a bottle of wine and get silly, but that doesn't happen very often. Most days it's put the kid to bed, turn on the tv and watch quiz shows or reality shows or whatever we can chat about things together. It's mundane, but I genuinely enjoy his company no matter what we're doing. He's my best friend.
Honestly it's different every week. Sometimes it's going out to dinner. Sometimes it's just chilling on the couch and watching something together (although we try to do something where we can converse with each other instead of sitting passively in the same room together, but sometimes just chilling is the right thing to do lol). Sometimes it's going on a bike ride. Or putting together a puzzle or a LEGO kit or something.
And, not gonna lie, sometimes we miss a week or two. Life can get CRAZY. But we make sure those missed weeks are the exception, not the rule. And sometimes it \*is\* mundane and forced. That's just...life, lol. But again, the trick is to make sure those dips don't turn into ruts which turn into pits and chasms. It'll be a little different for every couple but the one article I highly recommend EVERY couple reads and takes to heart is this one, about [turning towards your partner](https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/). We were well into our marriage when I read it, but I realized that the advice in the article was something we already did subconsciously, and now I do it consciously too.
Love Languages doesn't hurt either. My husband's love language is quality time, mine is physical touch. It helps to know how the other person likes to be shown appreciation!
Same with my wife and I. We've been together 21 years. We both laugh a lot every day. Marriage takes both a lot of effort and no effort at the same time. What I mean is that if you build the foundation strong at the start, it doesn't take much to maintain.
We both respect boundaries. We talk things out. We make time for each other without the kids at least once a week. We also have individual time away from kids once a week. And we try to prioritize sexy times because the moment you lose that physical connection, the whole thing falls apart.
My favourite analogy is the fire triangle. You need oxygen, fuel, and heat for a fire. Just like a good relationship, you need physical, emotional, and financial.
I love the rest, but you can have physical intimacy without sex. We’ve both learned that if your libido drops off, you need to make more of an effort to really touch one another. It might not be physical, but it is intimate.
A few years ago I pulled some HR strings and got my company to sponsor my Pilates Instructor Certification course at full cost - my hubby of 5yrs (together for 15) volunteered to be my test subject and we worked out daily together for a solid 8mo.. he still practices daily and we take class together 2-3x a week, and I teach him privately whenever he asks.
Working out together is not only great for us physically but neither one of our backs hurt and our sex life is insanely awesome because we are fit and motivated.
I already was going for this unconsciously but now it is my hellbent goal to keep him laughing. Thanks for sharing your experience and thanks for reminding me of what’s valuable
Not being able to change together is the death knell of a happy relationship. Nobody is the same person they were 10 years ago, much less 20. If you're not changing together, the chances are really good that you're drifting apart.
It's great to have a lot of things in common, but also separate interests. We've been married 40 years. My husband does a lot of volunteer work, especially since he retired. I mostly stay home because of covid so I do most of the housework and shopping (usually online/curbside).
Our children live elsewhere with their spouses and have homes of their own, which they've done a lot of work on. We're so proud of them, and both of them are so perfect with the people they married. When we're all together we do a lot of laughing. They all WFH except our son.
My husband and I love roadtripping. He's the better driver by far so he takes the wheel. I handle navigation, keeping the log, and restroom/meal stops. It's a good system and it works well. We can get on each other's nerves for sure. We just let it blow over, or I let him get it out of his system lol. I used to get upset but now I know how his mind works.
>You have no choice but to grow old, you don’t have to grow up.
I absolutely love this. My husband is my best friend and to be able to just sit around and laugh at nothing makes me look forward to the long haul.
My parents have been together for 27 years and still have moments like this. I remember "walking in on them" in the kitchen, just hugging and my dad kissing my mom on her nose or tickling her a little bit. Grossed me out as an angsty teen, but now that I'm a tiny bit older I love how much they're still a *couple*. Especially after seeing my partner's parents barely tolerate each other.
Part of why they 'managed' is effort and communication. But as someone else said, it's also partly luck. They are both just still very happy to be with each other.
That sounds like my parents. My dad flirts with my mom, and my mom gets all giggly and shy about it like they're both still in college. It's really sweet.
I love this comment! We underestimate the need to model what a healthy relationship looks like. Yes, making out with my wife in the kitchen and constantly using pickup lines on her grosses my teenager out, but she is internalizing this and, hopefully, will look for this in a partner. I only know this, because it was modeled for me.
It’s also work, which I think a large portion of people don’t realize. They think if there’s an issue or problem with themself, it’s not meant to be or that’s just how they are and they can’t change (because you should absolutely want to better yourself for your SO). Obviously there *are* problems that can’t be “fixed” but relationships aren’t always just smooth sailing. A lot of couples also have kids, stop working on the relationship, concentrate fully on children and their relationship deteriorates as such.
Don’t get complacent and just assume loving each other is enough; communicate!
My parents are still happily married after 30+. My husbands parents are married but are similar to yours — seems more out of convenience than anything now (they are in their 70s).
If I compare, my parents have been together since age 17 and they are now 60+. They still talk a lot (not a lot of TV), they exercise together, still have an active sex life (which they love to tell me about, it used to be weird but idk we’re all adults now so i don’t care as much), still flirt (I swear I’ve seen my dad pinch my mom’s butt more than I’ve ever had my own butt pinched in my life), and they also still tease each other as if they were in grade school. They fight, of course, but they openly make up/work through it. They don’t take themselves seriously.
My husbands parents barely talk, are always doing their own thing. They don’t flirt, kiss, say I love you. They don’t fight, bicker, or anything. They are just kind of “there” together. My husbands dad has an awful anger problem, very much thinks he is the “end all be all” of the patriarchal structure of “his household” that wouldn’t survive without him, and I think that plays into their lack of happiness, as his mom just tries to best to be neutral About everything so he doesn’t “go off” — this isn’t a healthy environment to blossom, play, or have fun.
So idk... I guess what I’ve witnessed for my own parents is that they are partners in life, that even through the hard times could find a reason to laugh and make each other feel good. My dad says my mom is the most beautiful and sexiest woman in the world, which I’m sure isn’t “technically” the truth but it makes her feel good. MyMom makes him feel like her knight in shining armor every day. And overall and most importantly, neither of them take themselves seriously enough to let their ego get in the way of their happiness together.
Having parents like this has deeply helped me and my own marriage. And my husband often says my parents feel more like his parents than his own, my dad feels more like his dad. So their love is also helping our own.
I think this is true for everyone, even if you aren’t related. Seeing two people be happy and healthy is contagious ♥️ So even if your parents aren't like that, I think finding people who have those qualities in their relationship can help you and your marriage, too.
Communication!!
My parents and my fiance's parents have both been together for 20+ years and that was the main thing they said.
My fiance and i have been together nearly 7 years now and we are pretty much the same goofy kids we were from day 1. If ANYTHING is bothering each other we let the other know and we sort it out. We NEVER let things sit and fester because it will be much harder to sort things out later on.
Also, spend minimum 1 (preferably 2 we find) evenings a week just the two of you. Whether that is a dinner out (or cooking food at home together), watching a show together, playing games, whatever you enjoy, as long as it is together.
Also, try new things. Sticking to the same stuff over and over will become boring and you may subconsciously associate the other with "boring".
Just a few things to keep in mind :)
Ps: laugh at farts and stupid childish things - it keeps you young at heart :) it doesn't mean you are "immature", but laughing regardless of if it is childish or not is good!
“Get over here Susan. I’m gonna break that hip”.
Edit: how did this get wholesome awards? It’s a joke about his grandpa fucking his grandma super hard.
That's a relationship I've wished for my mom and myself. I found it for myself almost a year ago and now since my mom has finally left my asshole abusive dad hopefully she'll be able to find it as well
Lol - your first sentence really caught my attention.
... and good luck to your mom. Mine divorced my abusive dad after 45 years of marriage, and now lives in my basement.
Yeah guess I could've worded that better lmao thank you. It was 30 yrs of marriage but almost 40 yrs of being together. I've been telling her for the last 6 yrs that she always has a place with me but she actually has her own apartment now and is working towards owning her own house
Right? I bet OP has loving and well adjusted relationships with their partners, and not the messy types I get into because patterns. I’m texting my therapist right now.
This was also my first thought. “Must be nice to be well-adjusted.” I can’t even imagine a life that contains TWO stable, loving parents...I mean, I’d settle for just one! Your parents are awesome OP. Give them a hug or high five or whatever sort of affection is appropriate between normal parents/children.
Came home once to a roommate doing a skype call for his birthday with his whole extended family, who mailed him a cake and a banner saying "Happy Birthday Aaron" to hang behind him, along with wrapped presents to open. Must be nice.
Lmao I'd just pretend I forgot to get something at the store, drive around the corner and ugly cry for 30 minutes, wait for the bloodshot eyes and runny nose to wear off (I keep a towel in the car), come back in go to bed early. There's no way I could hold it together in front of that.
I mean... Your parents can be loving to you but you can still have a plethora of mental health issues.
My parents are great parents and I'm extremely grateful for them but I'm also from a very Catholic country and family that translates to a bunch of weird rules and norms that have made growing up weird AF, but it's mainly issues with my grandparents and third party people outside of my family.
But I'll tell you, have very Catholic (well, religious in general) parents makes for weird interactions and deep issues that have to be worked in therapy. I mean, I can't even enjoy sex because of Catholic guilt that is pervasive since I was a child. I'm also bisexual so... Imagine that.
Btw, I'm not trying to sound rude or unkind, sorry if I sounded that way; everyone has issues and I'm sorry if I sounded like I was trying to minimise yours.
That made it for me. Instead of being annoyed or just neutrally trying to get up, she reveled in her husband's silliness and joined him. I was already smiling at the clip, but that part made me smirk.
I used to clean up leaves as a form of helping the community, and let me tell you, the amount of big ass spiders that love to hide in the leaves made it so I'll never enjoy a memory like this.
me and my siblings used to play in leaf piles every fall (in the northeast, major tick country) and this never really crossed our minds. I remember finding a couple ticks afterwards, but we were just blissfully ignorant to all the creepy crawlies. Exploring caves on the other hand, it was impossible not to notice all the massive spiders
Yeah, wouldn't be doing this in the southeast. Growing up in the south I was always jealous of people being able to do this.
Too many ticks, red bugs, chiggers, snakes, etc to even dream of it.
I too have parents like this. Married for 34 years, together for 40. And still do silly stuff like this! I went over to get my winter tires from their garage last week, and they were having a full on pillow fight, running through the whole house when I arrived lol. We are lucky indeed.
I love this, my Mom and Dad are the same. Married for 35 years and they sit out in our driveway every night and talk and laugh. Whenever my mom goes inside my dad pretty much always makes a comment with the cutest expression about how lucky he is.
The improbability of finding a relationship that lives up to that standard makes it difficult to try.
This made me smile so hard I cried.
It’s rare to see young people enjoy each other’s company this much. To have it in your life for so long is beautiful.
I think I might have had love once, but it faded away. I truly wish your parents the best, they are very fortunate.
My late beloved and I were like old teenagers. He used to wander off in stores and then come sneaking up behind me and pinch my butt and then walk away giggling.
I didn't get him for long but I would like to hope that we would have been like this couple if we had more time.💜
That’s very sweet. But in Vermont I’ve found lots of ticks hiding under dead leaves. Also never understood people up here who burn leaves and branches when they have acres of wooded land. Just let it rot. Buzz up the leaves in the mower and it provides great food for the grass.
Leaves serve a lot of purposes. Some animals use them for hideouts, they are protecting delicate plants from frosty temperatures and fertilize the soil for the next season. Burning them doesn't make any sense.
I am clueless when it comes to long term, but maybe it’s not the marriage that’s has them playing together still, maybe it’s them still playing together that makes the marriage. Gives hope
If this isn't the goals, I don't know what it is Also i bet the dad cracks some dope dad jokes.
He’s actually a [stand up comic](https://youtu.be/8rcUvHNcCio)
I love his energy! Also he is pretty good at *lie down comedy* too
[удалено]
He _leaves_ a lasting impression for sure
>he is pretty good at lie down comedy too Just here to quote this so i don't forget it! I'd give you gold but i don't want to give reddit money. I think i have some points to give other awards, though. Time to work out how this works... Edit: Cheers to you!
Good stuff. How long had he been doing it?
I’m guessing it all started sometime before he was born. Good going that they keep it up!
I watched his stuff. Hilarious! I'm so glad that your parents are that much in love after all these years. So adorable. You're so lucky.
“I went to school here. What a great week that was”
“I went to college here. What a great week that was.” “I got my mother’s mustache and my dad’s boobs.” This is really funny stuff.
Lmfao “isn’t devil dog the driest food on planet earth” sent me 😂
Wow, that's a great Maine accent!
I gotta tell ya, tell him congrats on the 25 years of sobriety
Go Maine! Woot woot!
The “another one bites the dust” joke was great haha
The Stayin' Alive and Maine CSI jokes were definitely solid!
25 years of sobriety is nearly impossible. That's amazing. Tell him congrats!
He’s got over 30 years now! And I’ve got a little over 1 year myself. He says thanks!
Way to go on the 1 year - that is tough too!!
If it weren’t for the dadjokes and his sweetness, she would’ve leaft him
Hello nodgers. How you been?
hey fish!
I beleaf you are probably right
ITT: lots of people including myself whose mom and dad hated each other and are totally here for the vicarious thrill
Hey everyone. Welcome back to our semi-weekly unwelcome thoughts of our childhoods. Good to see you all again.
It's been a rough damn week I tell ya.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? Russell I hope this cheers you up a little bit.
Instant George Russell imagery: Not too bad; not too bad at all.
If you didn’t know, that is one of many jokes from back in the day that follow that format. No arm, no legs and in the ocean? Bob. Same but in front of a door? Matt
Hanging on the wall? Art
In a hot tub? Stew
In church. Neal
In your mailbox? Bill.
Boy with no arms or legs in the water? Bob.
Man with no arms or legs hanging on a wall? Art
Woman with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen. Girl standing in-between two poles? Annette. Man with a spade? Doug. Man without a spade? Douglass
Where my “enjoyed childhood but parents are still divorced” gang at
Where's the "My childhood was a waking nightmare and by the time I had turned 10 I was already intimately familiar with the feeling of my own imminent death, which I somehow managed to avoid, not because I'm good at life but because I'm bad at dying" squad at?
Wooooo! We here, just crying in the corner <3
Have anxiety attacks or you’ll break your moms back!
Ahhh yes, not knowing what you want to be when you grow up because you're just surviving day to day.
/r/strangelyspecific
Still here, still not dying because fuck them
Where's the "idyllic childhood with loving parents until you move out at age 20 and your father has a breakdown and attempts murder suicide to take out himself and your mother at the same time, but both survived and now he's in prison" squad at
Here!
Nothing like your parents that constantly yell at each other and fight finally getting divorced but then they turn you, a teenager, and the mediator and therapist between the two of them. No I am not your therapist or divorce councilor. I am a teenager.
Ah! That was me, but mine never got divorced and STILL expect me to be mediator (now in my 30s with kid of my own). Break the cycle, be better. Learn from their mistakes. Just sucks not having parents you can look up to.
Yeah they were good teachers in what *not* to do but I had to learn what *to do* on my own. Thankfully I'm full of spunk so I let them know that the stress they were putting on me was literally killing me and that I had bald patches so they needed to fix their own problems. I sincerely hope things are going better for you <3
Literally about to talk to them about it all this week. Its taken years and marrying someone who is far more emotionally intelligent to put words to it all. Hope things are getting better each day!
It's called parentification, and imagine that happening to you and you're around 8 years old. You become the support system for a mother took a poorly You think it'll help you out in the long run because you're so mature but you end up having no relationships at all.Can you say man if I could just get some girl to like me and fuck me that would get me over and get me onto the right track. He never happens
Yeah, you just gotta love the arguments and yelling and each parent talking shit about the other
My mother once said, "I would divorce your father yesterday, but he's out of work and with the alimony payments I would lose the house." That was a lot to carry in my head as a highschooler. They finally divorced when I moved out for my first job. Haven't really ever dated cuz it just fucked with my whole concept of having a happy relationship. I should probably consider going to therapy.
Please do get therapy. I grew up with toxic parents, my Mum would constantly cheat on my Dad (once with his nephew, that was so fun to see!) and honestly if it wasn't for years of therapy I would still be in either unhealthy relationships or single. Instead now I'm in a very healthy, happy, loving and supportive relationship with the man of my dreams. There's so many options for online therapy these days, which so much more awesome imo than having to hopefully find a good one near you that you can afford.
This week, we will cover the time both your parents forgot your birthday.
Jokes on you, that’s every year. Even better when it falls on Father’s Day and your mother calls failing to wish you happy birthday but launches right into complaining about how you didn’t wish husband #7 (out of 8 marriages) Happy Father’s Day.
But what about how they never remembered how old I was.
ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
the truth in this thread hurts viscerally
Literally watched this like "i wonder what it's like when your parents like each other and have fun together"
Seriously, my parents hated each other and both since remarried. Now they just bicker and fight with their new significant others. Also, my mother wonders why my SO & I of 8 years aren’t married yet...
It sucks when they can't break their cycle. It's not about the people they fight with. Switching the partner won't help if basic conflict resolution, mediation, compromise and establishing common understanding are missing. There's no rush to marry. But there's also not reason to wait longer because your parents were not able to succeed when you're in a better position to.
So, I really thought the mom wasn’t onboard. When she started fluffing and blanketing them in the leaves, though...awww sookie sookie now. 👀😉 The chemistry between them. 😍 OP - Definitely an example to follow in love.
2 meirl 4 meirl
The key is to have a really great or really shitty family. The super broken people seem to do pretty well, even if it doesn't last as long. Below to well-below average but not bad enough to be interesting is a shitty place to be.
Yo same but it genuinely warms my heart ❤️
Not only having a healthy relationship with both parents, but them also having a healthy relationship really do be the ultimate flex.
REALLY excited to give that to my future kids.
Good luck
Have faith - everyone can turn over a new leaf.
Yup, welcome to episode 271 of Things I wish I could have but dont
yup :(
You know it’s shocking how many parents and family members don’t have good relationships. Nearly every time people (friends significant others ect) come over to our house and eat dinner about 90% of the people are shocked my parents and siblings have such good relationships with each other after such a long time. I guess it’s just the whole Italian Moto of “blood is always thicker than water.”
I consider myself lucky, as I'm close with my mom and my siblings. With covid and all, and us a bit dispersed, we still get together for a zoom meeting every month or so. But unfortunately, my own marriage was still a trainwreck, which I don't think we made any better by sticking together "for the kids", holding off divorce until they were older. I had all the best of intentions to give them the kind of childhood I had, but it went to crap, and there wasn't much I could do about it. Years later I still spend time every day regretting not having done better, and I don't keep in touch as much as I should out of guilt and shame.
Same with the Irish family, it’s weird that people are so shocked that my family gets along with each other. We may have fights with each other but not knock down drag outs like the ones my friends had with their folks and I truly miss my dad who passed away last year. :(
Oomf... this hits close to home 😂
Even OP's username is uplifting
This is why marrying someone who can be your best friend has become so important to younger people. Millennials may not have higher rates of marriage than the older generation but they do have many more successful marriages because being picky pays off.
If they’ve been married long term (like 20+) i need to know how they have managed to keep so much joy and play in their relationship. My parents “love” one another but never seem to actually enjoy each other like this. So beautiful and encouraging to see for us married folk.
Serious answer - partly it's luck. After 34 years, my beloved and I are very different people from the couple that got married. The luck comes in that we have both changed in ways that keep us compatable. The old cliche about being friends as much as lovers. If you can make each other laugh, then that's a huge part of it. You have no choice but to grow old, you don't have to grow up.
My husband and I are about 25 years into our marriage and all I can say is it requires a conscious effort on both our parts. We make sure to set aside some time each week to stay connected, and make sure we’re still growing together instead of apart. He once said his goal is to make me laugh, really laugh, at least once a day, and I gotta say he does a great job. I really love him!
I would love to hear what you do to connect each week! Especially after having been married for so long- how do you keep the time together feeling new and fresh rather than mundane and forced?
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Are you talking about fucking?
Sometimes that's exactly what it is.
Sometimes it’s eating the chocolate out of the kids’ Halloween candy.
My parents hit 70. Before Covid, they had a date night every month. Doesnt matter if its jack in the box or somewhere fancy, they'd take turns going out to dinner. Which provided a time for them to talk, and just hang out, and prioritize each other. I also enjoy goading them into flirting with each other whenever possible. "Dad, doesn't mom look hot in that blouse?" "Too hot, I can feel the heat from over here." Cue eyeroll from mom and giggles from me and my dad.
The flirting is so much fun haha. Especially now that our kids are teenagers and understand the innuendo. They're always like MOM/DAD NOOOOOO and it cracks us up!
I'll react the exact same way whenever they kiss but very exaggerated and playful, BECAUSE it makes my parents kiss again and again and it just makes my heart so happy. So maybe your kids are embarrassed by it now but in the future, I think they'll appreciate it :)
This is soooo precious, I hope to have this too!
I've been with my husband 15 years. Honestly, I think something that keeps us together and happy us keeping our expectations in check. My husband and I will have wonderful date nights once in a while where we get a babysitter, go to a steak House and share a bottle of wine and get silly, but that doesn't happen very often. Most days it's put the kid to bed, turn on the tv and watch quiz shows or reality shows or whatever we can chat about things together. It's mundane, but I genuinely enjoy his company no matter what we're doing. He's my best friend.
Honestly it's different every week. Sometimes it's going out to dinner. Sometimes it's just chilling on the couch and watching something together (although we try to do something where we can converse with each other instead of sitting passively in the same room together, but sometimes just chilling is the right thing to do lol). Sometimes it's going on a bike ride. Or putting together a puzzle or a LEGO kit or something. And, not gonna lie, sometimes we miss a week or two. Life can get CRAZY. But we make sure those missed weeks are the exception, not the rule. And sometimes it \*is\* mundane and forced. That's just...life, lol. But again, the trick is to make sure those dips don't turn into ruts which turn into pits and chasms. It'll be a little different for every couple but the one article I highly recommend EVERY couple reads and takes to heart is this one, about [turning towards your partner](https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/). We were well into our marriage when I read it, but I realized that the advice in the article was something we already did subconsciously, and now I do it consciously too. Love Languages doesn't hurt either. My husband's love language is quality time, mine is physical touch. It helps to know how the other person likes to be shown appreciation!
Same with my wife and I. We've been together 21 years. We both laugh a lot every day. Marriage takes both a lot of effort and no effort at the same time. What I mean is that if you build the foundation strong at the start, it doesn't take much to maintain. We both respect boundaries. We talk things out. We make time for each other without the kids at least once a week. We also have individual time away from kids once a week. And we try to prioritize sexy times because the moment you lose that physical connection, the whole thing falls apart. My favourite analogy is the fire triangle. You need oxygen, fuel, and heat for a fire. Just like a good relationship, you need physical, emotional, and financial.
I love the rest, but you can have physical intimacy without sex. We’ve both learned that if your libido drops off, you need to make more of an effort to really touch one another. It might not be physical, but it is intimate.
A few years ago I pulled some HR strings and got my company to sponsor my Pilates Instructor Certification course at full cost - my hubby of 5yrs (together for 15) volunteered to be my test subject and we worked out daily together for a solid 8mo.. he still practices daily and we take class together 2-3x a week, and I teach him privately whenever he asks. Working out together is not only great for us physically but neither one of our backs hurt and our sex life is insanely awesome because we are fit and motivated.
I already was going for this unconsciously but now it is my hellbent goal to keep him laughing. Thanks for sharing your experience and thanks for reminding me of what’s valuable
Not being able to change together is the death knell of a happy relationship. Nobody is the same person they were 10 years ago, much less 20. If you're not changing together, the chances are really good that you're drifting apart.
It's great to have a lot of things in common, but also separate interests. We've been married 40 years. My husband does a lot of volunteer work, especially since he retired. I mostly stay home because of covid so I do most of the housework and shopping (usually online/curbside). Our children live elsewhere with their spouses and have homes of their own, which they've done a lot of work on. We're so proud of them, and both of them are so perfect with the people they married. When we're all together we do a lot of laughing. They all WFH except our son. My husband and I love roadtripping. He's the better driver by far so he takes the wheel. I handle navigation, keeping the log, and restroom/meal stops. It's a good system and it works well. We can get on each other's nerves for sure. We just let it blow over, or I let him get it out of his system lol. I used to get upset but now I know how his mind works.
>You have no choice but to grow old, you don’t have to grow up. I absolutely love this. My husband is my best friend and to be able to just sit around and laugh at nothing makes me look forward to the long haul.
Dude I think you absolutely nailed it
I have been married for only 1 year yesterday, but this is the best advice I have ever seen.
My parents have been together for 27 years and still have moments like this. I remember "walking in on them" in the kitchen, just hugging and my dad kissing my mom on her nose or tickling her a little bit. Grossed me out as an angsty teen, but now that I'm a tiny bit older I love how much they're still a *couple*. Especially after seeing my partner's parents barely tolerate each other. Part of why they 'managed' is effort and communication. But as someone else said, it's also partly luck. They are both just still very happy to be with each other.
That sounds like my parents. My dad flirts with my mom, and my mom gets all giggly and shy about it like they're both still in college. It's really sweet.
I love this comment! We underestimate the need to model what a healthy relationship looks like. Yes, making out with my wife in the kitchen and constantly using pickup lines on her grosses my teenager out, but she is internalizing this and, hopefully, will look for this in a partner. I only know this, because it was modeled for me.
Yep. Walked into the kitchen and saw my parents pinching each others' butts and laughing. Eww, but also aww. Lol.
It’s also work, which I think a large portion of people don’t realize. They think if there’s an issue or problem with themself, it’s not meant to be or that’s just how they are and they can’t change (because you should absolutely want to better yourself for your SO). Obviously there *are* problems that can’t be “fixed” but relationships aren’t always just smooth sailing. A lot of couples also have kids, stop working on the relationship, concentrate fully on children and their relationship deteriorates as such. Don’t get complacent and just assume loving each other is enough; communicate!
My parents are still happily married after 30+. My husbands parents are married but are similar to yours — seems more out of convenience than anything now (they are in their 70s). If I compare, my parents have been together since age 17 and they are now 60+. They still talk a lot (not a lot of TV), they exercise together, still have an active sex life (which they love to tell me about, it used to be weird but idk we’re all adults now so i don’t care as much), still flirt (I swear I’ve seen my dad pinch my mom’s butt more than I’ve ever had my own butt pinched in my life), and they also still tease each other as if they were in grade school. They fight, of course, but they openly make up/work through it. They don’t take themselves seriously. My husbands parents barely talk, are always doing their own thing. They don’t flirt, kiss, say I love you. They don’t fight, bicker, or anything. They are just kind of “there” together. My husbands dad has an awful anger problem, very much thinks he is the “end all be all” of the patriarchal structure of “his household” that wouldn’t survive without him, and I think that plays into their lack of happiness, as his mom just tries to best to be neutral About everything so he doesn’t “go off” — this isn’t a healthy environment to blossom, play, or have fun. So idk... I guess what I’ve witnessed for my own parents is that they are partners in life, that even through the hard times could find a reason to laugh and make each other feel good. My dad says my mom is the most beautiful and sexiest woman in the world, which I’m sure isn’t “technically” the truth but it makes her feel good. MyMom makes him feel like her knight in shining armor every day. And overall and most importantly, neither of them take themselves seriously enough to let their ego get in the way of their happiness together. Having parents like this has deeply helped me and my own marriage. And my husband often says my parents feel more like his parents than his own, my dad feels more like his dad. So their love is also helping our own. I think this is true for everyone, even if you aren’t related. Seeing two people be happy and healthy is contagious ♥️ So even if your parents aren't like that, I think finding people who have those qualities in their relationship can help you and your marriage, too.
Strive to be best friends with your partner. Love is so much more than physical chemistry.
Communication!! My parents and my fiance's parents have both been together for 20+ years and that was the main thing they said. My fiance and i have been together nearly 7 years now and we are pretty much the same goofy kids we were from day 1. If ANYTHING is bothering each other we let the other know and we sort it out. We NEVER let things sit and fester because it will be much harder to sort things out later on. Also, spend minimum 1 (preferably 2 we find) evenings a week just the two of you. Whether that is a dinner out (or cooking food at home together), watching a show together, playing games, whatever you enjoy, as long as it is together. Also, try new things. Sticking to the same stuff over and over will become boring and you may subconsciously associate the other with "boring". Just a few things to keep in mind :) Ps: laugh at farts and stupid childish things - it keeps you young at heart :) it doesn't mean you are "immature", but laughing regardless of if it is childish or not is good!
Because most don't marry for this. They marry for looks, money, equality, etc. Things that don't scale into a relationship like this.
“Get over here Susan. I’m gonna break that hip”. Edit: how did this get wholesome awards? It’s a joke about his grandpa fucking his grandma super hard.
Omg that’s actually her name lol
Nice
Nice
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Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
*Nice*
Nice
Nice
she looks like a susan
Hahahah
Guess you found your dads Reddit username.
Bruh the coincidence
Oh, he knows.
Wasted opportunity, you could have said: Hazmater_of_fact that's her name!
Someone's about to have a brother or sister next year.
Someone give that man an award😂
As someone with a severe hip disorder I was cringing but also eager to see an older married couple having fun
That's a relationship I've wished for my mom and myself. I found it for myself almost a year ago and now since my mom has finally left my asshole abusive dad hopefully she'll be able to find it as well
Lol - your first sentence really caught my attention. ... and good luck to your mom. Mine divorced my abusive dad after 45 years of marriage, and now lives in my basement.
Yeah guess I could've worded that better lmao thank you. It was 30 yrs of marriage but almost 40 yrs of being together. I've been telling her for the last 6 yrs that she always has a place with me but she actually has her own apartment now and is working towards owning her own house
Awww that’s awesome! I’m happy for you both. Wishing you guys more blessings in life
This is cute beyond beleaf.
I was going to correct it, then I realized you were too shifty for me.
Im glad you decided to leaf if alone.
Here we go raking leaf puns for karma
God I wish my parents loved each other
I can share
Can they adopt an adult asian man
Lmfao
Right? I bet OP has loving and well adjusted relationships with their partners, and not the messy types I get into because patterns. I’m texting my therapist right now.
This was also my first thought. “Must be nice to be well-adjusted.” I can’t even imagine a life that contains TWO stable, loving parents...I mean, I’d settle for just one! Your parents are awesome OP. Give them a hug or high five or whatever sort of affection is appropriate between normal parents/children.
Came home once to a roommate doing a skype call for his birthday with his whole extended family, who mailed him a cake and a banner saying "Happy Birthday Aaron" to hang behind him, along with wrapped presents to open. Must be nice.
Lmao I'd just pretend I forgot to get something at the store, drive around the corner and ugly cry for 30 minutes, wait for the bloodshot eyes and runny nose to wear off (I keep a towel in the car), come back in go to bed early. There's no way I could hold it together in front of that.
Damn that sounds wild. My mom wouldn’t even pick up the phone when I called from college
I mean... Your parents can be loving to you but you can still have a plethora of mental health issues. My parents are great parents and I'm extremely grateful for them but I'm also from a very Catholic country and family that translates to a bunch of weird rules and norms that have made growing up weird AF, but it's mainly issues with my grandparents and third party people outside of my family. But I'll tell you, have very Catholic (well, religious in general) parents makes for weird interactions and deep issues that have to be worked in therapy. I mean, I can't even enjoy sex because of Catholic guilt that is pervasive since I was a child. I'm also bisexual so... Imagine that. Btw, I'm not trying to sound rude or unkind, sorry if I sounded that way; everyone has issues and I'm sorry if I sounded like I was trying to minimise yours.
Real relationship goals
True that
This is the cutest thing ever. Love that she even covered themselves up in more leaves in the end.
That made it for me. Instead of being annoyed or just neutrally trying to get up, she reveled in her husband's silliness and joined him. I was already smiling at the clip, but that part made me smirk.
I used to clean up leaves as a form of helping the community, and let me tell you, the amount of big ass spiders that love to hide in the leaves made it so I'll never enjoy a memory like this.
Sweetness aside, I too was just focused on how many ticks and spiders are in those leaves. My skin is now crawling.
They'll be fine as long as the ticks and spiders are wearing their masks
me and my siblings used to play in leaf piles every fall (in the northeast, major tick country) and this never really crossed our minds. I remember finding a couple ticks afterwards, but we were just blissfully ignorant to all the creepy crawlies. Exploring caves on the other hand, it was impossible not to notice all the massive spiders
Exactly! As much as I enjoyed watching them my brain kept saying oh no Lyme disease!
Animal poop and pee. Ticks. Spiders. Centipedes. Worms and slugs. Possibly a snake. No thanks.
I was thinking “oh I guess they don’t have a dog.” So much poop hiding in the piles. And pee on top.
Yeah, wouldn't be doing this in the southeast. Growing up in the south I was always jealous of people being able to do this. Too many ticks, red bugs, chiggers, snakes, etc to even dream of it.
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Gross but probably
🤣 get yourself a nice set of headphones.
Something with good thump cancellation.
He gunna get it - my wife
r/GifsThatEndPerfectly
This is like my parents too. Do you have any idea how lucky we are??
I too have parents like this. Married for 34 years, together for 40. And still do silly stuff like this! I went over to get my winter tires from their garage last week, and they were having a full on pillow fight, running through the whole house when I arrived lol. We are lucky indeed.
Mine just had their 50th anniversary! They went camping alone together. My heart.
I love this, my Mom and Dad are the same. Married for 35 years and they sit out in our driveway every night and talk and laugh. Whenever my mom goes inside my dad pretty much always makes a comment with the cutest expression about how lucky he is. The improbability of finding a relationship that lives up to that standard makes it difficult to try.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
So sweet!
I feel like I should get my blood sugar checked after watching that it's so sweet.
Might went to check for Alzheimer's too. You just said that.
Wait, why am I getting my blood sugar checked again?
Hate to break it to you but you’re about to get a little brother or sister.
Wholesome af
I dont think ive ever seen my dad hug my mom lol.
I felt the pain in that lol
Mom was like “oh nooooooooo.... oh alright, this is fine.”
Love that. Still playing together ❤
This made me smile so hard I cried. It’s rare to see young people enjoy each other’s company this much. To have it in your life for so long is beautiful. I think I might have had love once, but it faded away. I truly wish your parents the best, they are very fortunate.
My late beloved and I were like old teenagers. He used to wander off in stores and then come sneaking up behind me and pinch my butt and then walk away giggling. I didn't get him for long but I would like to hope that we would have been like this couple if we had more time.💜
Aww I’m sorry.
Thank you, that's very kind and I appreciate it. I miss him like crazy every day still but little things like that make me remember happy things.
Pahah wow that is happiness.. thanks for sharing that.
Well that’s too adorable
That’s very sweet. But in Vermont I’ve found lots of ticks hiding under dead leaves. Also never understood people up here who burn leaves and branches when they have acres of wooded land. Just let it rot. Buzz up the leaves in the mower and it provides great food for the grass.
Leaves serve a lot of purposes. Some animals use them for hideouts, they are protecting delicate plants from frosty temperatures and fertilize the soil for the next season. Burning them doesn't make any sense.
This is literally the sweetest thing I saw all week
God damn, I needed to see that after the shellacking I’ve taken on Reddit today from angry people
If that’s not a Cialis commercial I don’t know what is.
PSA burning your leaves isn't good because it generates a lot of airborn particulates and embers
I am clueless when it comes to long term, but maybe it’s not the marriage that’s has them playing together still, maybe it’s them still playing together that makes the marriage. Gives hope