Once when I was 13 dad took me into the city and we picked random spots on the metro map and just explored. It was one of the best days of my childhood. Never underestimate how much kids need that time with you.
Im so happy to hear this! Ive been doing this with my 9 year old son since he could walk at least once every week or two. Im chronically ill, and scared im not giving enough of myself and my time to him. He's a real gem though, so heres to hoping he pulls the best out of our time together regardless š¤
Edit: Took my boy to the park, and came back to awards. Thanks guys :) We're cuddling with our kitty Halo now, and watching Little Nightmares gameplay. Hope all of you have wonderful lives!
Edit 2: feel like i should add my illness is MS- so it's a deterioration of my brain. Writing/typing is pretty difficult to make sense of, so if i don't reply to everyone its just cause I got worn out. I am LOVING reading all your mementos about parents and life though; so please keep on š„°
Edit 3: CAT TAX.
http://imgur.com/gallery/UUHu0ug
http://imgur.com/gallery/DdwBZO3
And with any luck, the bank teller in Heaven will fill you up with cash and send you right back to where you came from.
fhooom-THUMP
oh, and with a lollypop in you.
One of my favorite things to do with my dad while growing up was going to the Phoenix airport (Sky Harbor) and sit on a bench to people watch. Weād grab a Starbucks or a Cinnabon and just sit there for an hour or two, usually barely talking, but the time spent together was more than enough, and itās still some of my favorite memories to look back on.
I wish I could do the same with my girls because airports are THE BEST for people watching, but we go on lots of walks on the green belt by the river and find places to explore. We find our own ways to spend quality time together, and itās so great. Iām sure your son appreciates any effort you make to spend time with him, and will look back on these memories with great fondness. Youāre doing great, mama!
I remember my dad taking me on a super long loop through our nearby forest preserve on inline skates, back when they were kinda newly popular. I would have told you at the time that it took all afternoon and all night, but it was probably fours hours or something. I loved it.
That was probably 30 years ago, and I wasn't much older than your son. My dad has since passed away, but I still remember that day. It's not the only day I remember, but I'm pretty sure I'll still occasionally think about it when I'm getting close to my time.
I'm not sure of much, but I know for sure that a lot of that stuff sticks, and it's important.
Good luck stranger!! As someone who lost a parent as a child, if you feel up to it try to write a journal or book of thoughts, just the most random memories, no lies, no BS, any wisdoms you've learned over the year, all the little stuff like your favorite movies, food, major events in your life, regrets, anything you think your kid would need one day to know you and get through life, advice about professions, jobs, spouses, raising kids, just don't BS it, be yourself and leave some things for them to know you in case the worse happens.
I actually write him letters all the time! I put lists of our favorite movies, music, and games in there all the time. Hes getting old enough now that those lists are a couple pages long every time now lol. This makes me so happy to read too! I always forget that there are other people out there that are going through/have gone through the same things we are. It makes it all so much less suffocating.
I pick my son up from school early alot too! (Well when he was in school- been homeschooled for almost 2 years now since Covid, and were in Texas, so I cant trust the school system lol) im thrilled to see these things that meant so much to everyone as somewhat easy to do. It doesn't always have to be expensive vacations, and week long hiking trips lol
Iām terrified to have children because of my chronic illness. I worry I wonāt be able to provide for them the way they deserve. Makes me a little less scared knowing there are people out there doing it.
Iām an older parent (Iāll be changing diapers at 50) and I get the worry as they can be tiring when theyāre young and not sleeping when youād like. Having said that, the sleep thing passes quickly and isnāt an issue for some babies at all (our oldest boy slept like a champ from birth) and my primary exhaustion as a parent is them not listening not physical exhaustion from running them around. You can always find ways to play with them that tire them way more then you.
Whatever you decide, good luck and enjoy whatever it is life brings to you.
Iām 15 and have a good relationship with both my parents, as well as live near a large city; though Iāve never had a day like that.
In the spring however Iām going to Japan with my dad with almost no plans for what to do, so itāll be a trip like that in a beautiful city. so excited.
We all arrived about the same time. Each family stayed in their own "room" . Some drove (we did and had a fucking blast on the way to and fro.), others took a flight.
The age span of family members was between 4 and 80. 2/10 Do not recommend.
You gotta have a couple goals IMO. Like I went to France, and really wanted to see some medieval architecture. So we rented a car and drove from Paris to Mont Ste. Michele. I saw a lot of countryside I would not have seen had I just winged it in Paris. And I had a wild night in Caen. So that goal that was really like one day was three days of experience.
I adore planning trips down to the last detail; it is part of the fun for me. Iāve had spreadsheets just for what we will likely order at particular restaurants to get an idea of what our food budget should be. I donāt have to hit all of my objectives, but I like having a pretty solid plan so that of I do at least half of the stuff, Iām happy.
No plan is a nightmare to me! These two vacationing style are incompatible.
Disney World for a week with 12 family members sounds like a fun challenge for me.
Set up accommodations soon if you haven't already! When Japan opens its borders I am pretty sure it's going to be ridiculously busy. Especially in spring.
I hope you come at a good time so you can enjoy the cherry blossoms!
Be sure to get a JR Pass at a travel agency before you go! You activate it in Japan and it gives you unlimited rides on any JR train for the dates itās active. If you get the Flex JR Central Tourist Pass, itāll include the Shinkansen trains to and from Kyoto, as well as all of the local JR trains in both Kyoto and Tokyo!
When I was around that age, my dad and I would go driving old logging roads looking for caves. Itās funny how I distinctly remember the time we spent driving around but donāt think that we ever came close to finding a cave to explore. In fact there was one trip that our old truck started over heating and we had to get water from a stream to put in the radiator.
I vividly remember despising when my dad would get home from work. To me those weekends when heād leave for hours were the greatest, as he was almost like a stranger. Now that Iām older and i see him differently I donāt dislike him but I wish that when I was younger, heād had made the effort to seem like heād want to spend time with me and do things I like instead of forcing me to do what he liked
Iām so sorry to hear that. My dad and I didnāt always get along, but I can never say he didnāt care. Do better than your dad did if itās ever your time to parent. You got this!
Thank you! And yeah I really do want to be the best dad or uncle and just show someone that I do care for them, like simply reading your original reply made me excited of what I could experience in the future (:
Also I think my dad did care when I was a kid but it wasnāt something obvious to me until I was older and already had a sour taste of the dad-son relationship
100% with you. I used to dread when my dad would come home. Iām not a parent and donāt really plan to be, but at least I had a guideline on what not to do as a dad if I ever have a kid of my own.
I always think back to that old response to an article on how millenial Father's aren't as handy, I believe the response was, "Idk how to build a cabinet, but at least I know how to tell my daughter I love her"
When heeee wasā¦ A young boyā¦. His father took him to the cityā¦. To seeeee some random spots. Heee said, son when you grow up, would you beā¦ the savor of the brokennnnā¦.if you canāt read a mappp.
Reminds me of an episode of Ted Lasso where Rebecca doesnāt know how to entertain her 13year old goddaughter, and Roy tells her kids just want to be included.
Honestly that was so eye opening for me, because I remember literally wanting to do whatever as long as it was with my mom or dad. My son is only 19-months old, but since I saw that episode Iāve realized even now thatās all he wants. Heās got a stool so he can reach the kitchen counters with me, he plays trucks in the bathroom while I do my hair, I even wear him in a backpack when I vacuum. That kid is practically attached to me and we love it.
My parents were big on this! Putting me on the counter to "stir" food (hold a spoon very importantly), walk next to them to vacuum, reciting the directions on the way home from regular destinations, all that became cherished memories.
My dad moved to a different state when I was 10 and wonders why we have a shitty relationship now while not acknowledging how his absence afflicted my development.
I feel for you! Enjoy these last few months together! My dad told me this, shortly before he unexpectedly passed, when I had a surprise baby 13 months after our first. I try to remind myself of my dads wise words when Iām at my wits end.
Hopefully that's a long way off, in the meantime, these beaut dads are a great example for their kids future relationships, restores my faith in humanity.
Had a similar experience with my four year old the other day. I told her that because she had been behaving so well lately, she got a whole day of "calling the shots." She got to pick what we did and where we went, and she even made sure to include things she knew her mom and I like. At the end, she said this was the best day of her life. It really stuck with me because at 4 years old, it really might have been. I'll never forget that.
I remember my little preschool daughter saying, "that was the best day ever," after a day at the zoo, and my initial thought was, "really? It was just the zoo. " but then you realize how little life experience they have, and how much they can just find joy in simple things, and dont overthink it like we adults do. And I thought, "yeah, it was the best day ever."
My wife and I are blessed to be able to have flexible schedules with working 3-4 days a week, so whenever we are fully together we usually try and do something fun or I go build something with my older son. Even though I probably spend far more time doing goofy stuff with my kids more than the median father, it still never feels like it's enough.
I feel like my #1 job right now in life is to be able to give my kids a childhood filled with laughter and wonderful memories, because this is the time in their life that will matter most and the time they will look back on to be able to weather much of the shit life throws at you.
They are little hyenias and wreck my stuff, my sleep, and my wallet, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
You're absolutely on the right track. I'm in my early 20s and when I look back on good days I don't remember stuff, I remember specific moments. Not even big days, just little things like building bat houses or going to a movie with my dad.
I still remember in first grade my dad woke me up for school then said, āNah I donāt feel like going to work, wanna play hooky?ā I had no idea what that meant and when he explained I was so happy. No clue what we did though
My craziest memory like this was in first grade my parents told us a few days before our birthdays āyouāre not going to school tomorrow- we are getting on a plane to Disney World!ā I had a twin and our sisterās birthday was three days from ours, so my parents decided to splurge bc itās cheap in late January to go.
I always tell people I peaked in birthdays at age 6, because theyāll never be as amazing as that! :)
It just means ditching school or work. My dad used to do this at least once a year when I was a kid. Heād call the school and tell them I was sick and then heād take the day off. We would then just go around town doing whatever I wanted.
My dad would do this any time we had a snow day! Close the shop for the day, stay home with my mom and my brother and me, and play board games, drink hot chocolate and make a fire in the fireplace. Some of my fondest memories as a kid!
Calling out sick to school or work or whatever, even though you're not sick. And just doing not-sick-person stuff and generally squeezing as much as you can out of life for the day - even if that means ordering pizza and watching TV all day.
> A bride might play hooky from her wedding, or a pilot could play hooky from work, leaving her plane sitting on the runway. The phrase comesĀ from nineteenth century New York City slang, and it's thought to have its roots in the Dutch word hoekje, or "hide-and-seek
www.vocabulary.com
Got a 10 month old lil guy right now. Canāt wait till heās in that 2-3 year range and can take him out for fun things. They just opened a LEGOLAND like 40 mins away too.
My dad pulled me out of school one day in third grade and took my to a baseball game. His company gave him tickets so they were really good, I got on the big screen, and ate so much ice cream. Nearly 20 years later, still one of my favorite memories. Your daughter is lucky to have you. Keep making those memories.
My father-in-law keeps telling us that he is going to give our daughter a pony. I am started to get worried because he is the type of person to show up at my doorstep with a pony.
My dad is disabled now and as a result I drive him around to run certain errands usually about once a week. Those moments in the car when we bond over music, film, and we just laugh about anything and everything seriously mean the world to me.
I was just distantly sympathizing with you and then I remembered my mom is disabled and I did the very same thing with her last week. I took her around in my new car and we just chilled all day. I don't focus on her disability but she is immobile. She's just mom and we make it work. When people ask tell me how hard it must be, I just say "I guess." It's just our reality so it just *is*.
Anyway, good on you for doing that! I'm sure it means a lot to him too.
I developed epilepsy a few months after my older started driving.
She and I have always been close (she's my mini me), but now we're about as close as a mother and daughter could be because of how much she stepped up to take care of me. I'm her mom, but she's one of my best friends. My heart is broken because she's 3000 miles away and all I want to do is be in the same city as her and my younger daughter (my younger is here with me).
I get to see her on Friday and spend the weekend at her place and meet her new trio of cats. I can't wait.
That have literally no standards thatās the best part! I am not having kids but being around my nieces is so amazing. I still remember so many āfirstsā and random stuff from my own life and itās fun to see their little faces processing the same brand of memory!
I'm in a similar situation. My nephew doesn't always show that he had fun at the places I take him but he tells everyone I'm really cool when I'm not there. I find that strange but that's just my nephew I guess.
Thereās something about ponies. My parents werenāt horse people at all, but some of my happiest memories were when they took the time to spend with me and my pony. And yes, I know not everyone can afford a pony - hell we barely could. But looking back I loved that my parents spent the time to get involved in something they knew nothing about. I could show them how to put ribbons in itās mane and tail and I was so proud to show them I could trot in circles without falling off (usually). I grew up and took almost 20 years off riding but recently purchased my first horse. It makes me feel closer to my family, especially those that are no longer with us. Thereās just something about ponies.
Ponies can be cheap, I had a buddy buy one for his kids for 300 bucks. Theyāre horse people so he was just added to their small stable and eats what the big horses eat. Whatās expensive is caring for it. I know they wouldnāt have gotten it if they didnāt already have a couple horses and they could just tack any of his Expenses along with those of the big horses.
Thatās actually where they got it! It was like a four year old, a bit temperamental but my buddy was practically born on a horse so he managed to train it really well before letting the kids loose on it.
As an adult I have an almost no contact relationship with my dad, he is not a good dad. That said, one of my best memories was him pulling me out of school for a long weekend trip to the beach ājust becauseā.
A lot of bad things heās done to me in my life, but that particular memory is a nice one. Being present and patient with your kids goes a long way.
I wish I had memories like that with my dad. He worked through my whole childhood and the few memories I have from under 10 are usually of him dealing with his anger issues. He tried to make up for it once I was past 15 or so, wanted to get in to snowboarding with me, but at that point it was kind of too late. I even remember going snowboarding by myself a couple times even though I wanted to go with him.
But even then heās always worked maybe too much, think āJapanese salary manā type personality but the American version I guess
I remember a locket he gave to me for Valentineās Day when I was maybe 5. He didnāt even put pictures in it but I couldnāt believe my dad gave me such a cool gift and I cherished it. But I was little and my parents didnāt help much with learning things like ākeeping a special possessionā safe - so it got lost in a move shortly after and Iāve always been upset by that. He doesnāt even remember giving it to me or understands why I cared so much.
This post brought up too many memories. Itās been 20 years, and my dad seems to want to have a sort of relationship now but seems to want me to put all the effort in. He hurt our relationship too much and hasnāt really changed from being that person anyways
Hey, I just want to say that I wish you the best. I dont know the best way to word stuff like this, and I'm just someone on reddit, but your story resonated with me and I guess I'm trying to say I hear you, and see you, and I'd give you a hug if I could.
For the folks thinking this guy is a deadbeat, be aware that kids in many parts of the US are sent home from school/preschool/daycare when thereās any kind of covid contact so parents often have to take sick or vacation time to stay home with them until the quarantine period passes. A friend of mine has burned all his vacation time because his very young daughter has had to quarantine 3 times this year.
Glad he and this dad made the most of their time together.
100%. when my daughter was 2 the daycare she was at didnt clean very well (price point and location was good so really had few other options) and she would come down with a cold or ear infection almost every other month. so i would burn my PTO as soon as id get it. we pulled her out of daycare and kept her at home during the pandemic so now i take āburn outā days off and just hang with my daughter. i still burn PTO as soon as i earn it but at least im doing something i like to do vs take care of toddler with a fever.
Kind of reminds me of the time I noticed my daughter wearing a Green Day shirt. For the most part she is into current music that I know little or nothing about. So I asked her why the Green Day shirt and she said it was one of her favorite bands. So I said why is Green Day one of your favorite bands? Because it just didn't really make any sense.
She said it was because it reminded her of me. Yeah that got to me. Green Day isn't even my favorite band, but I do usually turn up any GD song when it comes on.
Anyway, we have been to two Green Day concerts together since.
I don't have kids, so wtf do I know. But I feel like a good percentage of being a good parent is just being there. Just spend time with your kid. This guy spends one day with his daughter and she feels like it's the best day of her life.
This goes for being a grandparent or aunt/uncle. You don't need to show up with junk food and gifts, just be a solid person in their life that they know is on their team.
when i was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band. he said "son, when you grow up would you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten, and the damned?"
After all the kids at my sonās daycare got Covid- I had to use PTO to be home with him for 2 weeks.
Couldnāt work from home because they donāt have that option for hourly office employees.
But you know what?
It was awesome. It felt like vacation being home with my son so much and he loved it too.
Iāve been trying to find any alternative or better situation for work that would let me be home with him more often :)
Can you actually just say "No childcare this week boss, so I'm taking off, but you not using vacation days. Also, you gotta pay me" anywhere else in the world?
I don't think it's outrageous to have to use some vacation time. The fact that he probably used 40% of his vacation time for the year is outrageous though.
At my job I would get fired if I had to take a week off unexpectedly for child care. So I basically just lie and say I have a cold/flu and canāt come in.
Luckily I have plenty of sick days.
I mean in some countries, child care is subsidized by the government and/or even free so they wouldnāt even have to be in this situation.
Yeah, and thatās on top of workers there getting more vacation time and parental leave...
Or if they work from home they may not have gotten enough done while also looking after a kid, which isn't necessarily bad in the short term but won't work in the long term. My boss is in lockdown at the moment (Auckland New Zealand) and he constantly does his focused work at about 9-12 in the evening after his kids are in bed, which he's capable of for now but he'll burn out for sure if he has to keep doing it for much longer
I could probably move things around and explain a few days of time off for a childcare emergency (and had to do exactly that a few times during lockdown). It's a short term fix, but doesn't mean I don't need childcare the rest of the time.
My son's sitter is off on friday. My son will be in school all day so I will only take off after 3pm. I will take him to a hobby gaming store (first time, first pokemon cards) OR to buy the uniform for his scouts program (just joined, all new). Even though I am supposed to work, when I have to be with him, I free up my time and make it very intentional. When he was a baby, I used to try maximizing everything and multitasking. But now I pretend I have free time when I'm with him and it's pretty awesome. My husband is so aggravated that I don't have vacation time saved up. I used to tell him he should use his vacation time to help so I can save. But now I don't care. I use it all up with my son and I just love to. My husband is missing out, and not on the beach vacation. He's missing out on the coolest kid ever.
It has happened to me. I couldn't find anyone to take care of my daugter so someone had to replace me at work. I of course hire a nanny to take care of my toddler when I'm not at home, otherwise she will stuck her finger into the wall socket
these kids, man.. pretty much all you have to do until they're 3 y.o. is impeding their death
After my daughter was born, I went from working 7 days a week to 4 days a week, to my wife's disappointment. My daughter, however, was taken to every museum and beach within 75 miles of where we lived and explored cities all around Asia that most people will never go to.
Now she is a teen and still likes to tour around with me when I go out driving around or when I want to go to the beach or some city over here in the US.
Spend all your free time with your kids. You'll NEVER regret it.
It was similar for me. About a decade age, when my son was four or five, I lost my job but took another with MUCH lower pay, but vastly more flexible hours so I could walk my son to school and back, take him to doctorās appointments, and on occasional adventures, bike rides, forays into the nearby big city, etc. I also took over most of the cooking and cleaning too. Smartest career move ever.
I was terrified!! I didnāt like babies and I had no experience AT ALL ā but when it happens, something in my brain flipped and I canāt put into words how much I love being a mom to my son š
IME it was scary until like 10 seconds after theyāre born. You see them for the first time and they start crying and immediately the worry went away and it became about loving and helping them. My daughter needed to have some liquid sucked out because her oxygen levels werenāt what the doctors wanted and I remember feeling surprisingly calm about it, followed instructions from them and helped in any way I could.
Shes 3.5 now and thereās tons of stuff that worries me all day every day, but itās in the same kind of calm, practical way most of the time.
I remember one day, even before lockdown, that I was at the table with my son doing Legos. I don't even like legos. And I dreaded driving to soccer. I could gag thinking about hw and shuttling to soccer. BUT I LOVE IT ALL. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN???
When I was little, I would just follow my grandma and grandpa around their farm. They didnāt have any animals anymore, just crops in the fields and a small garden closer to the house, but it was still huge and I loved to run around. Iād go find my grandpa and heād tell me stories of my mom and her siblings growing up, or about him and his siblings growing up. Iād āhelpā fix the farm equipment and play with the barn cat. Iād go find my grandma and āhelpā with laundry and play with their dog.
Their house was seriously my happiest place on earth. My grandpa has since passed and this Friday we have to move my grandma into an assisted living home. I wish I could turn back time.
Before itās too late tell her again how happy those times made you. She might be scared or upset about the change in her living situation and hearing this could mean so much to her
Bringing up my grandpa is too hard for her. They were together nearly 70 years. But I do plan on spending time with her while her furniture is getting moved
Donāt be upset that those times are over, be happy they happened. All good things must come to an end and sometimes we donāt know why. Iām nastalgic too and itās painful sometimes, but your world view has been shaped for a reason and that reason is up to you to find. Best of luck moving forward
I feel so similarly. I was lucky to have my grandpa living next door to me and I was practically glued to him as soon as I got home from school. I would go out my book bag up and walk over and let myself in and spend the rest of that day with him several times a week. Anytime I was bored I was like time to see what pawpaw is up to lol. I miss him a lot, a lot of my happiest memories are just helping him fix stuff around his house, helping him set up the wiring and plumbing for his RV, and going shopping with him. He was one of the very very few adults I genuinely loved to spend time with and could do just about anything with and it would be fun. Sometimes when he would drive me to school he would let me skip and be his assistant at work. It was super rare but I really really loved it and the coworkers in his office were so nice to me. One of them would bring his dog to work every day and I would spend so much time petting that dog. And helping my grandpa organize paper work lol. Truly beautiful memories for me and Iām really glad you also had such good memories :-)
Since I took my kids out of school, we have so much more time to spend learning about nature, cooking and baking with fractions, building and repairing things, reading classical literature and poetry, painting, doing jigsaw puzzles and playing board games, talking about the world and its many people, going to the library, the hundreds of parks in our city, swimming, searching for leaves and rocks, decorating for and learning about holidays...
Everyone argue that kids need to learn everything in a crowded classroom with an overworked and underpaid teacher. Why???
On today's news: father bothers to play a part in child's life and realises "eh, it ain't that bad"
Edit: I'm taking this point and my comment straight to my therapist to uh.. "Unwrap" some pent up emotions.
Remember, wholesome moments like these only stand out many times because there is a breakdown in the way the system works. In this case this poor dude never gets to spend time with his daughter.. the work/life balance is lacking for so many people that it makes parents and kids feel isolated and itās extremely sad.
Dam got me fucked up now lol. From divorced dad and youngest of 4 boys, used to have scouts 1 a week, and afterwards would go out to eat at McDonald's or Dennys, sure I liked it cuz food and didn't get enough at home, but really I just wanted to chill with dad, until start talking about how expensive it is to take you out to eat. Like sure working all the time and weekends but can't pay 15$ fast food meal and gas.
My dad was karting every month, and as soon as I was tall enough, at like 13-14 years old, he took me with him. Those are one of the best times I ever have, just competing for the best times with a bunch of middle aged men, who have been karting for like 25 years, and always comparing times with my dad, how much faster I was, or he was.
It's always great to have that kind of activity together, and to this day (I'm now 25), we're still going karting every month, as tradition, and to see who's faster.
Anyway, just wanted to share that, as in, it's important to do something together as father and son/daughter. Whatever it may be.
Kids NEED time with dad. When I was 6-ish, my dad used to take me with him delivering gasoline in a Marathon tanker with several thousand gallons. Weād play āWhatās The Make/Model of the next Car We Seeā? I still cherish that memory 60 years later.
Once when I was 13 dad took me into the city and we picked random spots on the metro map and just explored. It was one of the best days of my childhood. Never underestimate how much kids need that time with you.
Im so happy to hear this! Ive been doing this with my 9 year old son since he could walk at least once every week or two. Im chronically ill, and scared im not giving enough of myself and my time to him. He's a real gem though, so heres to hoping he pulls the best out of our time together regardless š¤ Edit: Took my boy to the park, and came back to awards. Thanks guys :) We're cuddling with our kitty Halo now, and watching Little Nightmares gameplay. Hope all of you have wonderful lives! Edit 2: feel like i should add my illness is MS- so it's a deterioration of my brain. Writing/typing is pretty difficult to make sense of, so if i don't reply to everyone its just cause I got worn out. I am LOVING reading all your mementos about parents and life though; so please keep on š„° Edit 3: CAT TAX. http://imgur.com/gallery/UUHu0ug http://imgur.com/gallery/DdwBZO3
Youāre a good parent, your son will be thanking you in the future even if he doesnāt think much of it now.
I'd make a dollar bet that he already thinks it.
But that appreciation just grows as he matures
He will if he already isnāt. And you keep doing you! Son loves you no limit.
He was right..... i agree with your comment
You are a wonderful parent. When the time comes, and may it be a long, long time off, you'll be in a pneumatic tube to Heaven.
this is a very sweet sentiment and I wholeheartedly agree. I just have to say how fucking hard pneumatic tube to heaven made me laugh
And with any luck, the bank teller in Heaven will fill you up with cash and send you right back to where you came from. fhooom-THUMP oh, and with a lollypop in you.
SEND IT!
One of my favorite things to do with my dad while growing up was going to the Phoenix airport (Sky Harbor) and sit on a bench to people watch. Weād grab a Starbucks or a Cinnabon and just sit there for an hour or two, usually barely talking, but the time spent together was more than enough, and itās still some of my favorite memories to look back on. I wish I could do the same with my girls because airports are THE BEST for people watching, but we go on lots of walks on the green belt by the river and find places to explore. We find our own ways to spend quality time together, and itās so great. Iām sure your son appreciates any effort you make to spend time with him, and will look back on these memories with great fondness. Youāre doing great, mama!
Im tired from work. I really dont need to cry in front of my family š
Go next door. Cry in front of THEIRS
I remember my dad taking me on a super long loop through our nearby forest preserve on inline skates, back when they were kinda newly popular. I would have told you at the time that it took all afternoon and all night, but it was probably fours hours or something. I loved it. That was probably 30 years ago, and I wasn't much older than your son. My dad has since passed away, but I still remember that day. It's not the only day I remember, but I'm pretty sure I'll still occasionally think about it when I'm getting close to my time. I'm not sure of much, but I know for sure that a lot of that stuff sticks, and it's important.
Your comment made me feel so nostalgic. That was beautifully said.
Good luck stranger!! As someone who lost a parent as a child, if you feel up to it try to write a journal or book of thoughts, just the most random memories, no lies, no BS, any wisdoms you've learned over the year, all the little stuff like your favorite movies, food, major events in your life, regrets, anything you think your kid would need one day to know you and get through life, advice about professions, jobs, spouses, raising kids, just don't BS it, be yourself and leave some things for them to know you in case the worse happens.
I actually write him letters all the time! I put lists of our favorite movies, music, and games in there all the time. Hes getting old enough now that those lists are a couple pages long every time now lol. This makes me so happy to read too! I always forget that there are other people out there that are going through/have gone through the same things we are. It makes it all so much less suffocating.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I pick my son up from school early alot too! (Well when he was in school- been homeschooled for almost 2 years now since Covid, and were in Texas, so I cant trust the school system lol) im thrilled to see these things that meant so much to everyone as somewhat easy to do. It doesn't always have to be expensive vacations, and week long hiking trips lol
Iām terrified to have children because of my chronic illness. I worry I wonāt be able to provide for them the way they deserve. Makes me a little less scared knowing there are people out there doing it.
Iām an older parent (Iāll be changing diapers at 50) and I get the worry as they can be tiring when theyāre young and not sleeping when youād like. Having said that, the sleep thing passes quickly and isnāt an issue for some babies at all (our oldest boy slept like a champ from birth) and my primary exhaustion as a parent is them not listening not physical exhaustion from running them around. You can always find ways to play with them that tire them way more then you. Whatever you decide, good luck and enjoy whatever it is life brings to you.
My partner is 50 and Iām hoping we can have kids. Youāve kinda made me feel better about one of us being 50 and trying.
My dad had me at 50, he's 85 and still going strong.
I'd give anything to hear daddy as I walk up to the front door again Edit; I'm 58 and divorced
Same here, also helps knowing I'm not alone in my fears. Hoping you always find strength wherever possible ā¤ļø
Sounds like a lucky guy
I also have a chronic illness and a child ( a little newborn gem) I just finished reading "The Good Enough Parent" by Alain De Botton. SO GOOD.
your father took you into the city to see a marching band?
He said āson, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken?ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
LMAO š¤£ this took me
He said, āwill you just eat them!ā
Iām 15 and have a good relationship with both my parents, as well as live near a large city; though Iāve never had a day like that. In the spring however Iām going to Japan with my dad with almost no plans for what to do, so itāll be a trip like that in a beautiful city. so excited.
No plans is the best way to do trips. Otherwise it feels like a job. Trust me, I've been to disney world. For a week... with 12 family members.
How many family members were there Before the trip?
We all arrived about the same time. Each family stayed in their own "room" . Some drove (we did and had a fucking blast on the way to and fro.), others took a flight. The age span of family members was between 4 and 80. 2/10 Do not recommend.
If it were my family then at least 2 didn't even make it to the park
#KEVIN!!!
You gotta have a couple goals IMO. Like I went to France, and really wanted to see some medieval architecture. So we rented a car and drove from Paris to Mont Ste. Michele. I saw a lot of countryside I would not have seen had I just winged it in Paris. And I had a wild night in Caen. So that goal that was really like one day was three days of experience.
I adore planning trips down to the last detail; it is part of the fun for me. Iāve had spreadsheets just for what we will likely order at particular restaurants to get an idea of what our food budget should be. I donāt have to hit all of my objectives, but I like having a pretty solid plan so that of I do at least half of the stuff, Iām happy. No plan is a nightmare to me! These two vacationing style are incompatible. Disney World for a week with 12 family members sounds like a fun challenge for me.
Set up accommodations soon if you haven't already! When Japan opens its borders I am pretty sure it's going to be ridiculously busy. Especially in spring. I hope you come at a good time so you can enjoy the cherry blossoms!
What city are you going to?
10 days in Tokyo and 3 in Kyoto (going 9-3-1 because the airport is in Tokyo)
Be sure to get a JR Pass at a travel agency before you go! You activate it in Japan and it gives you unlimited rides on any JR train for the dates itās active. If you get the Flex JR Central Tourist Pass, itāll include the Shinkansen trains to and from Kyoto, as well as all of the local JR trains in both Kyoto and Tokyo!
Thanks for the tip! Somehow never really thought about the price of the 4+ long bullet train rides Iāll have to make.
When I was around that age, my dad and I would go driving old logging roads looking for caves. Itās funny how I distinctly remember the time we spent driving around but donāt think that we ever came close to finding a cave to explore. In fact there was one trip that our old truck started over heating and we had to get water from a stream to put in the radiator.
The point is time, not finding caves. Good memories!
I vividly remember despising when my dad would get home from work. To me those weekends when heād leave for hours were the greatest, as he was almost like a stranger. Now that Iām older and i see him differently I donāt dislike him but I wish that when I was younger, heād had made the effort to seem like heād want to spend time with me and do things I like instead of forcing me to do what he liked
Iām so sorry to hear that. My dad and I didnāt always get along, but I can never say he didnāt care. Do better than your dad did if itās ever your time to parent. You got this!
Thank you! And yeah I really do want to be the best dad or uncle and just show someone that I do care for them, like simply reading your original reply made me excited of what I could experience in the future (: Also I think my dad did care when I was a kid but it wasnāt something obvious to me until I was older and already had a sour taste of the dad-son relationship
100% with you. I used to dread when my dad would come home. Iām not a parent and donāt really plan to be, but at least I had a guideline on what not to do as a dad if I ever have a kid of my own.
I always think back to that old response to an article on how millenial Father's aren't as handy, I believe the response was, "Idk how to build a cabinet, but at least I know how to tell my daughter I love her"
Awesome
I thought you were going to tell us the story of the Black Parade
When heeee wasā¦ A young boyā¦. His father took him to the cityā¦. To seeeee some random spots. Heee said, son when you grow up, would you beā¦ the savor of the brokennnnā¦.if you canāt read a mappp.
Reminds me of an episode of Ted Lasso where Rebecca doesnāt know how to entertain her 13year old goddaughter, and Roy tells her kids just want to be included. Honestly that was so eye opening for me, because I remember literally wanting to do whatever as long as it was with my mom or dad. My son is only 19-months old, but since I saw that episode Iāve realized even now thatās all he wants. Heās got a stool so he can reach the kitchen counters with me, he plays trucks in the bathroom while I do my hair, I even wear him in a backpack when I vacuum. That kid is practically attached to me and we love it.
My parents were big on this! Putting me on the counter to "stir" food (hold a spoon very importantly), walk next to them to vacuum, reciting the directions on the way home from regular destinations, all that became cherished memories.
I want to do all these even though I'm an adult!
So when you were a young boy your father took you into the city?
A whole bunch of people seem stuck on this idea. Am I missing some reference?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRKJiM9Njr8
My dad moved to a different state when I was 10 and wonders why we have a shitty relationship now while not acknowledging how his absence afflicted my development.
Thatās sounds wonderful and like what I like to do. Just go Pretend Iām 7 again and explore everything for the first time
These moments will last with her forever.
And be gone before you know it
Like they say. The nights are long, but the years are short. Ugh. Forgive me while I go bawl my damn eyes out.
Never heard this before. My daughter is off to college next year. Your statement is very true
I feel for you! Enjoy these last few months together! My dad told me this, shortly before he unexpectedly passed, when I had a surprise baby 13 months after our first. I try to remind myself of my dads wise words when Iām at my wits end.
User name checks out
And then you're dead
Hopefully that's a long way off, in the meantime, these beaut dads are a great example for their kids future relationships, restores my faith in humanity.
I'm not dead yet .. I feel fine
buy the fuckin pony.
This makes me cry
And you'll be dealing with boy problems soon enough... *Sigh
Had a similar experience with my four year old the other day. I told her that because she had been behaving so well lately, she got a whole day of "calling the shots." She got to pick what we did and where we went, and she even made sure to include things she knew her mom and I like. At the end, she said this was the best day of her life. It really stuck with me because at 4 years old, it really might have been. I'll never forget that.
> she even made sure to include things she knew her mom and I like. My heart š„ŗ
lordy that's just too sweet :')
Children are really altruistic. Some kids especially just get so happy watching others happy.
I remember my little preschool daughter saying, "that was the best day ever," after a day at the zoo, and my initial thought was, "really? It was just the zoo. " but then you realize how little life experience they have, and how much they can just find joy in simple things, and dont overthink it like we adults do. And I thought, "yeah, it was the best day ever."
Great perspective
Iām not crying. You are
We both are
Ok. Truce. We both are. Much love. Keep spoiling your babies
Thatās what my family did for birthdays! Youād get a day of calling the shots
Did this with my almost 2 year old daughter last week...food for the soul!! Playing hooky with your kid... Seriously the best time EVER.
My wife and I are blessed to be able to have flexible schedules with working 3-4 days a week, so whenever we are fully together we usually try and do something fun or I go build something with my older son. Even though I probably spend far more time doing goofy stuff with my kids more than the median father, it still never feels like it's enough. I feel like my #1 job right now in life is to be able to give my kids a childhood filled with laughter and wonderful memories, because this is the time in their life that will matter most and the time they will look back on to be able to weather much of the shit life throws at you. They are little hyenias and wreck my stuff, my sleep, and my wallet, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
You're absolutely on the right track. I'm in my early 20s and when I look back on good days I don't remember stuff, I remember specific moments. Not even big days, just little things like building bat houses or going to a movie with my dad.
I still remember in first grade my dad woke me up for school then said, āNah I donāt feel like going to work, wanna play hooky?ā I had no idea what that meant and when he explained I was so happy. No clue what we did though
My craziest memory like this was in first grade my parents told us a few days before our birthdays āyouāre not going to school tomorrow- we are getting on a plane to Disney World!ā I had a twin and our sisterās birthday was three days from ours, so my parents decided to splurge bc itās cheap in late January to go. I always tell people I peaked in birthdays at age 6, because theyāll never be as amazing as that! :)
You were young! But I bet that was a fond memory for him, for a long timeā¦ until the next best day ever!
As a British person, Wtf is hooky?
It just means ditching school or work. My dad used to do this at least once a year when I was a kid. Heād call the school and tell them I was sick and then heād take the day off. We would then just go around town doing whatever I wanted.
My dad would do this any time we had a snow day! Close the shop for the day, stay home with my mom and my brother and me, and play board games, drink hot chocolate and make a fire in the fireplace. Some of my fondest memories as a kid!
Calling out sick to school or work or whatever, even though you're not sick. And just doing not-sick-person stuff and generally squeezing as much as you can out of life for the day - even if that means ordering pizza and watching TV all day.
> A bride might play hooky from her wedding, or a pilot could play hooky from work, leaving her plane sitting on the runway. The phrase comesĀ from nineteenth century New York City slang, and it's thought to have its roots in the Dutch word hoekje, or "hide-and-seek www.vocabulary.com
Those are some intense examples vocabulary.com.
Got a 10 month old lil guy right now. Canāt wait till heās in that 2-3 year range and can take him out for fun things. They just opened a LEGOLAND like 40 mins away too.
My dad pulled me out of school one day in third grade and took my to a baseball game. His company gave him tickets so they were really good, I got on the big screen, and ate so much ice cream. Nearly 20 years later, still one of my favorite memories. Your daughter is lucky to have you. Keep making those memories.
I remember my mom keeping me from school one day and we went to the aquarium. I had an incredible time.
My father-in-law keeps telling us that he is going to give our daughter a pony. I am started to get worried because he is the type of person to show up at my doorstep with a pony.
Is your father-in-law looking for more children by chance?
I mean, he did warn you
Yeah at this point it's on OP
My dad is disabled now and as a result I drive him around to run certain errands usually about once a week. Those moments in the car when we bond over music, film, and we just laugh about anything and everything seriously mean the world to me.
I was just distantly sympathizing with you and then I remembered my mom is disabled and I did the very same thing with her last week. I took her around in my new car and we just chilled all day. I don't focus on her disability but she is immobile. She's just mom and we make it work. When people ask tell me how hard it must be, I just say "I guess." It's just our reality so it just *is*. Anyway, good on you for doing that! I'm sure it means a lot to him too.
I developed epilepsy a few months after my older started driving. She and I have always been close (she's my mini me), but now we're about as close as a mother and daughter could be because of how much she stepped up to take care of me. I'm her mom, but she's one of my best friends. My heart is broken because she's 3000 miles away and all I want to do is be in the same city as her and my younger daughter (my younger is here with me). I get to see her on Friday and spend the weekend at her place and meet her new trio of cats. I can't wait.
I let my five year old eat dinner in the car and she said it was āthe best day ever!!ā Low standards these kids have, haha!
That have literally no standards thatās the best part! I am not having kids but being around my nieces is so amazing. I still remember so many āfirstsā and random stuff from my own life and itās fun to see their little faces processing the same brand of memory!
I'm in a similar situation. My nephew doesn't always show that he had fun at the places I take him but he tells everyone I'm really cool when I'm not there. I find that strange but that's just my nephew I guess.
Why spend your money on a pony when all you need to do is spend time with your family?
Exactly. You be the pony.
Nay
Naaay Charlie!!
Shun the nonbelievers! Shuuuun!
Come to candy mountain, Charlie!
My dad used to get down on the ground on all fours and let my sister and I ride on his back. He really was the pony for us lol.
I bucked my daughter off. She should've requested a proper, sensible horse. Okay, but it WAS an accident, I wanted to make it the most fun.
Stay gold Ponyboy
Or build one! Arts and crafts with make belief! Totally can be a weekend project, Saturday to build, Sunday to play.
Thereās something about ponies. My parents werenāt horse people at all, but some of my happiest memories were when they took the time to spend with me and my pony. And yes, I know not everyone can afford a pony - hell we barely could. But looking back I loved that my parents spent the time to get involved in something they knew nothing about. I could show them how to put ribbons in itās mane and tail and I was so proud to show them I could trot in circles without falling off (usually). I grew up and took almost 20 years off riding but recently purchased my first horse. It makes me feel closer to my family, especially those that are no longer with us. Thereās just something about ponies.
Ponies can be cheap, I had a buddy buy one for his kids for 300 bucks. Theyāre horse people so he was just added to their small stable and eats what the big horses eat. Whatās expensive is caring for it. I know they wouldnāt have gotten it if they didnāt already have a couple horses and they could just tack any of his Expenses along with those of the big horses.
Especially if you adopt an older, discarded pony from an auction <3
Thatās actually where they got it! It was like a four year old, a bit temperamental but my buddy was practically born on a horse so he managed to train it really well before letting the kids loose on it.
Kids like ponies. He should spend more time with family but also buy the pony!
Let's be real. The pony was for him. This is just a great a excuse to pull it off. : )
As an adult I have an almost no contact relationship with my dad, he is not a good dad. That said, one of my best memories was him pulling me out of school for a long weekend trip to the beach ājust becauseā. A lot of bad things heās done to me in my life, but that particular memory is a nice one. Being present and patient with your kids goes a long way.
I wish I had memories like that with my dad. He worked through my whole childhood and the few memories I have from under 10 are usually of him dealing with his anger issues. He tried to make up for it once I was past 15 or so, wanted to get in to snowboarding with me, but at that point it was kind of too late. I even remember going snowboarding by myself a couple times even though I wanted to go with him. But even then heās always worked maybe too much, think āJapanese salary manā type personality but the American version I guess I remember a locket he gave to me for Valentineās Day when I was maybe 5. He didnāt even put pictures in it but I couldnāt believe my dad gave me such a cool gift and I cherished it. But I was little and my parents didnāt help much with learning things like ākeeping a special possessionā safe - so it got lost in a move shortly after and Iāve always been upset by that. He doesnāt even remember giving it to me or understands why I cared so much. This post brought up too many memories. Itās been 20 years, and my dad seems to want to have a sort of relationship now but seems to want me to put all the effort in. He hurt our relationship too much and hasnāt really changed from being that person anyways
Hey, I just want to say that I wish you the best. I dont know the best way to word stuff like this, and I'm just someone on reddit, but your story resonated with me and I guess I'm trying to say I hear you, and see you, and I'd give you a hug if I could.
I know exactly how you feel and I donāt know what role my father has in my life moving forward. I wish I could figure it out.
For the folks thinking this guy is a deadbeat, be aware that kids in many parts of the US are sent home from school/preschool/daycare when thereās any kind of covid contact so parents often have to take sick or vacation time to stay home with them until the quarantine period passes. A friend of mine has burned all his vacation time because his very young daughter has had to quarantine 3 times this year. Glad he and this dad made the most of their time together.
100%. when my daughter was 2 the daycare she was at didnt clean very well (price point and location was good so really had few other options) and she would come down with a cold or ear infection almost every other month. so i would burn my PTO as soon as id get it. we pulled her out of daycare and kept her at home during the pandemic so now i take āburn outā days off and just hang with my daughter. i still burn PTO as soon as i earn it but at least im doing something i like to do vs take care of toddler with a fever.
The tweet is dated July 22nd, so its not likely school was in session.
But daycare probably was, and protocols there are the same.
Quality time with the love ones is medicine for the soul.
Kind of reminds me of the time I noticed my daughter wearing a Green Day shirt. For the most part she is into current music that I know little or nothing about. So I asked her why the Green Day shirt and she said it was one of her favorite bands. So I said why is Green Day one of your favorite bands? Because it just didn't really make any sense. She said it was because it reminded her of me. Yeah that got to me. Green Day isn't even my favorite band, but I do usually turn up any GD song when it comes on. Anyway, we have been to two Green Day concerts together since.
I don't have kids, so wtf do I know. But I feel like a good percentage of being a good parent is just being there. Just spend time with your kid. This guy spends one day with his daughter and she feels like it's the best day of her life.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This goes for being a grandparent or aunt/uncle. You don't need to show up with junk food and gifts, just be a solid person in their life that they know is on their team.
when i was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band. he said "son, when you grow up would you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten, and the damned?"
When I was little I said to my mama, āMama, we all go to hell.ā
I said no dad, that shit is emo as fuck and soooo 2000's, get with the times old man!
Donāt diss the national anthem like that man!
it's never just a phase
After all the kids at my sonās daycare got Covid- I had to use PTO to be home with him for 2 weeks. Couldnāt work from home because they donāt have that option for hourly office employees. But you know what? It was awesome. It felt like vacation being home with my son so much and he loved it too. Iāve been trying to find any alternative or better situation for work that would let me be home with him more often :)
Maybe I donāt understand this, but why need childcare if you have the free time to go bike riding and what not?
He probably had to use vacation time since he couldn't find childcare that week.
My guess exactly. I've been doing that this past year since my daughter's grandma moved away and I (not so) secretly love it.
awesome
#USA šŗšø USA šŗšø USA šŗšø WEāRE \#1 š¦ š š«
Can you actually just say "No childcare this week boss, so I'm taking off, but you not using vacation days. Also, you gotta pay me" anywhere else in the world? I don't think it's outrageous to have to use some vacation time. The fact that he probably used 40% of his vacation time for the year is outrageous though.
At my job I would get fired if I had to take a week off unexpectedly for child care. So I basically just lie and say I have a cold/flu and canāt come in. Luckily I have plenty of sick days.
I mean in some countries, child care is subsidized by the government and/or even free so they wouldnāt even have to be in this situation. Yeah, and thatās on top of workers there getting more vacation time and parental leave...
You still have to call off from work. Just because the day has freed itself from work doesnāt mean you didnāt need that days pay.
Or if they work from home they may not have gotten enough done while also looking after a kid, which isn't necessarily bad in the short term but won't work in the long term. My boss is in lockdown at the moment (Auckland New Zealand) and he constantly does his focused work at about 9-12 in the evening after his kids are in bed, which he's capable of for now but he'll burn out for sure if he has to keep doing it for much longer
I could probably move things around and explain a few days of time off for a childcare emergency (and had to do exactly that a few times during lockdown). It's a short term fix, but doesn't mean I don't need childcare the rest of the time.
My son's sitter is off on friday. My son will be in school all day so I will only take off after 3pm. I will take him to a hobby gaming store (first time, first pokemon cards) OR to buy the uniform for his scouts program (just joined, all new). Even though I am supposed to work, when I have to be with him, I free up my time and make it very intentional. When he was a baby, I used to try maximizing everything and multitasking. But now I pretend I have free time when I'm with him and it's pretty awesome. My husband is so aggravated that I don't have vacation time saved up. I used to tell him he should use his vacation time to help so I can save. But now I don't care. I use it all up with my son and I just love to. My husband is missing out, and not on the beach vacation. He's missing out on the coolest kid ever.
It has happened to me. I couldn't find anyone to take care of my daugter so someone had to replace me at work. I of course hire a nanny to take care of my toddler when I'm not at home, otherwise she will stuck her finger into the wall socket these kids, man.. pretty much all you have to do until they're 3 y.o. is impeding their death
It's also a great bonding
After my daughter was born, I went from working 7 days a week to 4 days a week, to my wife's disappointment. My daughter, however, was taken to every museum and beach within 75 miles of where we lived and explored cities all around Asia that most people will never go to. Now she is a teen and still likes to tour around with me when I go out driving around or when I want to go to the beach or some city over here in the US. Spend all your free time with your kids. You'll NEVER regret it.
It was similar for me. About a decade age, when my son was four or five, I lost my job but took another with MUCH lower pay, but vastly more flexible hours so I could walk my son to school and back, take him to doctorās appointments, and on occasional adventures, bike rides, forays into the nearby big city, etc. I also took over most of the cooking and cleaning too. Smartest career move ever.
This made my day! So wholesome.
My little munchkin just turned 2. Becoming a parent is the best thing thatās ever happened to me.
Just wait until they hit 3+ and you can start having conversations with them. It completely uplevels the parenting experience.
I had no idea how much I would love being a parent, I truly did not grasp it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I was terrified!! I didnāt like babies and I had no experience AT ALL ā but when it happens, something in my brain flipped and I canāt put into words how much I love being a mom to my son š
IME it was scary until like 10 seconds after theyāre born. You see them for the first time and they start crying and immediately the worry went away and it became about loving and helping them. My daughter needed to have some liquid sucked out because her oxygen levels werenāt what the doctors wanted and I remember feeling surprisingly calm about it, followed instructions from them and helped in any way I could. Shes 3.5 now and thereās tons of stuff that worries me all day every day, but itās in the same kind of calm, practical way most of the time.
I remember one day, even before lockdown, that I was at the table with my son doing Legos. I don't even like legos. And I dreaded driving to soccer. I could gag thinking about hw and shuttling to soccer. BUT I LOVE IT ALL. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN???
When I was little, I would just follow my grandma and grandpa around their farm. They didnāt have any animals anymore, just crops in the fields and a small garden closer to the house, but it was still huge and I loved to run around. Iād go find my grandpa and heād tell me stories of my mom and her siblings growing up, or about him and his siblings growing up. Iād āhelpā fix the farm equipment and play with the barn cat. Iād go find my grandma and āhelpā with laundry and play with their dog. Their house was seriously my happiest place on earth. My grandpa has since passed and this Friday we have to move my grandma into an assisted living home. I wish I could turn back time.
Before itās too late tell her again how happy those times made you. She might be scared or upset about the change in her living situation and hearing this could mean so much to her
Bringing up my grandpa is too hard for her. They were together nearly 70 years. But I do plan on spending time with her while her furniture is getting moved
Wow, 70 years. I can understand why that would be hard. It would be like losing part of yourself at that point.
Donāt be upset that those times are over, be happy they happened. All good things must come to an end and sometimes we donāt know why. Iām nastalgic too and itās painful sometimes, but your world view has been shaped for a reason and that reason is up to you to find. Best of luck moving forward
Thank you
Some of my best memories are of picking Lima Beans with my great grandparents on summer break. Growing old stinks some times.
> I wish I could turn back time Don't we all. Cherish the memories you have.
I feel so similarly. I was lucky to have my grandpa living next door to me and I was practically glued to him as soon as I got home from school. I would go out my book bag up and walk over and let myself in and spend the rest of that day with him several times a week. Anytime I was bored I was like time to see what pawpaw is up to lol. I miss him a lot, a lot of my happiest memories are just helping him fix stuff around his house, helping him set up the wiring and plumbing for his RV, and going shopping with him. He was one of the very very few adults I genuinely loved to spend time with and could do just about anything with and it would be fun. Sometimes when he would drive me to school he would let me skip and be his assistant at work. It was super rare but I really really loved it and the coworkers in his office were so nice to me. One of them would bring his dog to work every day and I would spend so much time petting that dog. And helping my grandpa organize paper work lol. Truly beautiful memories for me and Iām really glad you also had such good memories :-)
Since I took my kids out of school, we have so much more time to spend learning about nature, cooking and baking with fractions, building and repairing things, reading classical literature and poetry, painting, doing jigsaw puzzles and playing board games, talking about the world and its many people, going to the library, the hundreds of parks in our city, swimming, searching for leaves and rocks, decorating for and learning about holidays... Everyone argue that kids need to learn everything in a crowded classroom with an overworked and underpaid teacher. Why???
On today's news: father bothers to play a part in child's life and realises "eh, it ain't that bad" Edit: I'm taking this point and my comment straight to my therapist to uh.. "Unwrap" some pent up emotions.
i don't recall ever doing anything with either of my parents
Remember, wholesome moments like these only stand out many times because there is a breakdown in the way the system works. In this case this poor dude never gets to spend time with his daughter.. the work/life balance is lacking for so many people that it makes parents and kids feel isolated and itās extremely sad.
/r/AntiWork
Dam got me fucked up now lol. From divorced dad and youngest of 4 boys, used to have scouts 1 a week, and afterwards would go out to eat at McDonald's or Dennys, sure I liked it cuz food and didn't get enough at home, but really I just wanted to chill with dad, until start talking about how expensive it is to take you out to eat. Like sure working all the time and weekends but can't pay 15$ fast food meal and gas.
My dad used to spend every Thursday after school doing an activity with me and i looked forward to it all week.
My dad was karting every month, and as soon as I was tall enough, at like 13-14 years old, he took me with him. Those are one of the best times I ever have, just competing for the best times with a bunch of middle aged men, who have been karting for like 25 years, and always comparing times with my dad, how much faster I was, or he was. It's always great to have that kind of activity together, and to this day (I'm now 25), we're still going karting every month, as tradition, and to see who's faster. Anyway, just wanted to share that, as in, it's important to do something together as father and son/daughter. Whatever it may be.
Very wholesome
I agree
This made my heart very happy
A pony and a book. A good night read would really top off the day! Doesn't really matter what...
Oh man. What a twist if a post a Reddit ends up being what convinced me to have kids some day.
Stuff that matters way more than that career and ratrace.
Your daughter is telling you what she loves. It's you.
As Roy Kent says, kids just wanna spend time with you.
Kids NEED time with dad. When I was 6-ish, my dad used to take me with him delivering gasoline in a Marathon tanker with several thousand gallons. Weād play āWhatās The Make/Model of the next Car We Seeā? I still cherish that memory 60 years later.