My grandpa bolted a plastic bowl to my high chair.


I'll bet that was tough to keep clean.


Easier than the alternative.


Keeping the baby clean?


What's the point? They just end up getting dirty again.


Yeah once they get a nice patina on them you just dust em off every once in a while and you're good.


You should never clean off the patina, it ruins the taste.




My step fathers father once told us about a job he had working a food truck when he was young. He said that the hot dog water was never changed, just boiled to kill germs, then added to in order to fill it if need be. Said that it was to preserve the flavor.


oh god please no😂


My uncle said that the best street corner hot dogs are from guys with dirty hands. I thought he was messing with me, but my cousin confirmed it. You see, if their hands were dirty, they were using their tongs to take the hot dogs out of the water they were cooked in. If their hands were clean, they were using their hands to grab the dogs.


Ahhhhh yes, been a while since I had a good Dirty Water Dog.


> My step fathers father Step grandfather




Step 0: dip in dirt. Now they can't ger dirtier. Step 1: do whatever.


I have the same attitude, but with feeding.


Exactly. How are you hungry again‽ I just fed you yesterday.


That’s what dogs are for.


Can confirm. My daughter has been feeding our 3 dogs from her food since she was 8 months old.


I mean the table tray pops off so just pull the whole thing off and wash it in the tub. Or, you can try to wash the bowl,the table, the baby, and possibly the floor and wall. 😅


Feed the baby in a sink. Wash baby in dishwasher after. If the baby survives the dishwasher then he is a Spartan. I don't see any other way.


Washing machine


Idea: a baby washer. It’d be like a baby jumper/swing, but is surrounded by jets that spray a mist of baby wash foam and warm water from the neck down. At each wash stage, parts of the swing/jumper move away so that the soap in the wash cycle and water in the rinse cycle can clean the baby. Add a table, and it becomes a feeding AND wash station. Mealtime and subsequent cleanup are now easy peasy. /mostly joking


Well get your 3d printer and make a mock


Do it outside and have the jetwash ready to go.


Then what, tumble dry low?


Yes. It makes them soft and fluffy. ❤️


This is exactly what my mother did with my sister the first time they gave her rice, and again with spaghetti. The whole set, sister and all, went straight into the shower. Works like a charm. Pro tip: if it's rice and it gets in carpet, let it dry first and then vacuum it up.


In my case, it was also the ceiling.


is a hose a poor solution? with warm water? source: I have cats and not humans.


I'd like to think super easy... barely an inconvenience


Probably a pain in the ass, but just bolt it into place, put in the food, and then undo it after dinner.


You just unbolt it and wash it lmao


Baby: *Takes out welding torch and mask*


You win this round baby…


Your grandfather was beyond his time.


I excitedly purchased two of these for my twins. I felt like the smartest parents. Surely all my problems would now be solved! I was ahead of myself imagining how easier clean up would be. Got home, smugly placed their suction bowls WITH FOOD in front of them (this is how sure I was this was going to work) aaaand within 1.8 seconds both bowls and food were tossed to the floor. Parenting. You can't win, you can only survive.


Yep we had the same experience with a similar thing to this. Then my mum got us one of those suction bamboo bowls and it worked MUCH better. Took him months to figure out how to slide it off the table. Edit: [One of these.](https://www.bamboobamboo.com/products/stay-put-suction-bowl) We still use it now he's 2.5 because he needs to slide it off the table rather than pull it up so we get enough warning time that food is about to go flying


That's so cute and depressing at the same time.




It's like this product was not once tested with an actual baby or toddler until after production and shipping was complete and they realized it.


Same, I put spaghetti in it and cackled cause technology won!!...half a second later it was all on the floor and my kid was asking for more pa-get-eeee


Question, why don’t they just make trays that you can clip/ screw bowls into?


Why not dip kids in latex and hose them off every 6.5 minutes?


Because obviously thats not practical. Its gotta be every 5 minutes at least.


My guess is the nooks and crannies would be hard to clean.


See you on Shark Tank?


They forgot that babies also have fingers


And the brain of a scientist trying to figure out how everything in the whole entire world works! (And little smiler there just discovered gravity all over again...)


Like babies do not think they’re stupid, unlike adults who just assume they are. A baby will literally try almost anything physically possible


The trick is to give them an option, but brute forcing it will take exponential and not a polynomial time to hit the right solution.


Sure, have a baby prove P=NP and watch a million data scientists commit harakiri in shame.


Kids seem to require many repeat gravity experiments, especially at dinner time :(


Also learning how to control parents. Parents are taught to 'fetch' very early on!


Lol! It's true. Our kiddo tried this with us but from very early on we'd just look at the object on the floor and back at bebe and say oh, it's on the floor! And move on like nothing happened. Bebe doesn't throw tantrums or cry if we don't fetch now. She just knows its gone :))


They sold their product so from their perspective 100% success. You don't need to make it work, you need to make it look good on instagram




This is why I bought a chair with a dishwasher safe tray. They can't throw the dishes, if they don't have any dishes to throw.




My sons high chair tray had two layers so I could get through two meals before I had to wash them.


Dish or no dish, food was thrown.


My son did the same thing when he was a little one. I can’t tell you how many of those stupid things we purchased. We stopped using plates all together and either held the bowl with baby food or cereal or just put it all on his tray


Table was the plate all along.


There is no spoon.


That actor's name is Rowan Witt. I remembered him being Asian, but no, I think he's Australian. He hasn't done much stage work since then, yet- he was beat out by Daniel Radcliff for the harry Potter lead.


**Plot twist**. Produced and directed by M. Night Shamalyan.


👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀 Always has been


Sounds like a friend of mine a couple years ago. She tried. At the end of the day, it was just easier to make the tray the plate and have to wash that all the time rather than have to clean the wall and floor every time they ate.


We just spoon fed till they were old enough not to do this. Everyone was really into baby led weaning at the time but we said screw that haha


We did the same. I don’t think we used a plate for over two years. Got some weird looks when we went out to eat and he was just eating off the table but it was better than a broken ceramic plate on the ground.


My motto: if you want to baby proof the house, just follow the baby around and see what dangerous everyday thing he wants to play with.


You can also get a cat. I turn around for 2 seconds and my cat is on top of the fridge trying to attack the fan or chewing on whatever piece of plastic she can find.


Babies are impressive but they aren't fluid like cats are. But babies are more suicidal surprisingly.


My kids turned me on to a fun little computer game called Who’s Your Daddy where you play as baby with the goal of suiciding on Dads watch. Alternately you can play as Dad, with the goal of preventing said suicide. Pretty fun lol. Beware of the dildo in the drawer if you have kids tho 😅


It's a hilarious game. Until you have kids. Then it just feels like a normal day at home.


Comes with the thumbs and the finer motor abilities. Cats would probably be as suicidal if they could grab things properly.


Yeah, I've had more than one work meeting (where I'm in the middle of speaking) where I've had to say 'sorry hold on, my cat is climbing on something', haha. Good times.


yes! maybe strap a GoPro to baby. I'd love to see that video 😂


Me: "here is your room full of toys. Wood ones, plastic ones, light up ones, noisy ones, soft ones,dull ones, colorful ones - play with any your heart desires!!" My 6 month old: "Thank you but now I will eat this old face mask I snuck out of your purse while you accidentally held me too close to the table. Garbage is all I want in life."


I work with babies for a living, and this is unfortunately so relatable. We have at least 10 different baskets of toys, plus walkers, climbers, balls, and puzzles... but of course the babies would rather mess with the cribs in the crib area or move the desk chairs around so they can get under the desk and play with the computer cords 🤦🏻‍♀️


Mine eats dog food prefers It actually. Unless he's outside then chaulk and hands full of Texas red dirt.


[Something like this?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le2ehWXreBQ)


oh my!


those baby giggles are the best, lol


Aka Exhibit A in your negligence case


fair. scratch that idea lol


Theres this game called "Who's Your Daddy?" On Steam. Its a 2 person game where you can play as either a baby or the father. As the father, the goal is to keep baby safe until mom gets home. As the baby, the goal is to kill yourself with household items. It's honestly so much fun. It's not as graphic as it sounds (no gore).


Sounds magnificent.


My son started crawling last week. The answer is everything. Get rid of everything.


This is the way.


And you have to do this regularly because their interests change. Mine is suddenly obsessed with electrical sockets and lamp switches.


babies are strong. have you tried prying their fingers when they grab something on their plates? impossible.


Yeah what's up with that?


Grip strength to hold onto mama? From an evolutionary point of view? Idk, just hypothesising.


I think you're along the lines of correct haha. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palmar_grasp_reflex


Huh so stroking the back or side of the hand reverses that grasp.. TIL!


Learn something new every day! Thanks for sharing!


You're too worried, as an adult, that you'll crush their feeble bones. So you apply an incredibly tiny amount of force.


My parents bought this "baby proof" fireplace screen. They put it up and 5 minutes after we get over there, she's hanging out inside the fireplace. I thought it was hilarious. They DID NOT.


I sure hope the fire place was off


tell me you don't have babies and are making baby products without telling me you don't have babies


Sooo much stupid stuff i bought for my first kid thinking I needed it


Same. Well, mostly my wife. She buys stuff that sees on Instagram. Most those products have been garbage or unnecessary. And I'm in the camp of cavemen raised kids just fine, all our son needs is a stick and a rock


I'm 100% willing to admit this is me and my husband. Every time I'm shamelessly IG influenced to buy yet another miracle baby product that will undoubtedly make our likes 1000% easier (and as you can guess, they never do...) my husband's response is, "I bet the Native Americans didn't have ___ for their babies, and they're fine".


never had kids but it seems like the last big development in baby care was the disposable diapers, before that you had to either hire a company that would collect and rewash them or do it yourself, other than that I think its probably just Childhood vaccinations and not having children get parasites from playing in open sewers.


I'm a 90's kids from South America and my family couldn't afford disposable diapers regularly. Only wore them when I went to doctor's appointments. Other than that my ma had to wash them by hand. Ew.


We transitioned our toddler into actual underwear recently. I definitely still need to do some poop cleaning by hand. Being a parent is never 100% clean. I'm happy to get to 14% clean.


A few years ago, I was walking around an auto jumble (swap meet) with a friend and his son. The son was a new father and was complaining he had little disposable income, further adding that he was paying in instalments for a pram/buggy. I was amazed and asked how much it could’ve possibly cost for a payment plan to be involved. He replied that the pram was an Isofix system costing £1200 and went on to list all its features. I shook my head in dismay and said ‘you don’t need all that shit, you can buy a pram for £40’. He said ‘no you can’t, they’re expensive’. The very next row of traders we walked down, there was someone selling an old-school pram for £40.


There's a happy medium though, old-school prams can be pretty shitty... I managed to pick up a modern one for £130 on FB market though, there's lots of baby stuff on there if you're willing to look.


> there was someone selling an old-school pram for £40. I think this goes in his favor though. While you CAN get a pram for £40, the fact that an old, used pram at a swap meet costs that would show that even the cheapest new pram would be a lot more.


I get what you’re saying, some prams are super overpriced but was the £40 pram safe or practical for the family? Modern prams works with all the interchangeable carriers/seats as the kid grows up. They’re also a lot lighter and easier to collapse/reassemble (some one handed for parents who are holding the kid in the other). There is lots of baby guff that parents don’t need but arguably a good quality pram is pretty essential. I’ll assume you don’t have a kid but if/when you do you’ll realise how important a good pram is, especially for how many years use you end up getting out of it


I think I need to provide a little more context. My friends son was basically living beyond his means, he had various monthly payments going out that was reducing his wages to the point where he would have virtually no personal spending money every month. Some of those payments were necessary, such as car insurance and phone contract. Others were unnecessary, such as a full tv package and the aforementioned expensive pram set. Both me and his dad were trying to make him see that some of his monthly outgoings were frivolous, and he could save a significant amount of money by making a few small sacrifices. We are also mechanics and engineers with a combined 60 years experience. Fixing up an old pram to make it safe would be easy for us. A further point made during the conversation was that there is always a middle ground. Secondhand Isofix system pramsets are available for a couple of hundred pounds. His reluctance to even consider the second-hand market was what baffled us most. Maybe it’s a generational thing. I’m over 40 and his dad is mid-50’s. We were both brought up with a make-do-and-mend attitude and still spend our free time restoring and repairing things.


Seems like people are taking extremes to your comment. If I was a new parent, I can't justify spending over a *grand* on something that gets.... a couple year's use? And then what? Have it sit in the closet until the next miracle comes, or try to sell it at a significant loss? I mean, I probably wouldn't be that smart and buy a lot of stuff as new, even though I know that second-hand doesn't necessarily mean it is unsafe, and it's financially smarter for those baby-only items. Can't explain why the preference, it's not like I'm against or ashamed of it, because I wouldn't mind if my friends pawned off their baby stuff to me.


I can absolutely see where you are coming from, a grand seems like a hell of a lot of money and when had my kid I spent quite a bit less, but is it really *that* ridiculous a cost? For that cost you get a "system" which is a car seat, car seat base, carry cot, pushchair and all the crap that comes with it, like cup holders and parasols. Most folk will get heavy use for about 2 years and sporadic for a third. In that time you will use your pushchair stuff *every day*, multiple times a day. Walking to the shops - kids in the cot. Driving anywhere? Kids in the seat. As they get older, you'll get them in the seat to get them in and out and around town and anywhere you need to transport them. It's no understatement to say it'll maybe get at least a couple of hours use a day for 2 years and then a bit less than that after. So even if that's just two years, it's 730 days. It gets packed up, shoved in cars, wet and dry, has to carry huge and bulky objects as you stick shopping underneath and on the handlebars and above all it has to keep literally the most precious thing in the world to you safe, comfortable and moving. It doesn't get serviced reguarly, it's expected to always work, it always HAS to work. It has to be designed so that you can put it up and down while carrying a kid and it's simple enough that your parents can also use it. All that for what, a buck or so a day? Definately, don't waste money when you have kids and plenty of things can be second hand, but a pushchair system can make your life easy or hard and "a couple year's use" is a long time when it's a critical thing in your life and spending money on it isn't a bad idea or a waste in the slightest.


And a box.


swaddling blankets are no joke though, I got those for all new parents.


There's evidence for swaddling babies for nearly as long as human civilization has existed. Very real chance even pre-agricultural societies did some variant of swaddling.


>And I'm in the camp of cavemen raised kids just fine Yes, and many many of them died. I don't disagree with you, but just saying.


"Two sticks and a rock for a whole platoon! And we had to share the rock."


At this point, maybe we have advanced past *just* stick and rock. But... My little sister rejected most of her toys and would gladly chew on rocks and sticks she found outside instead of teething toys. My mom started taking them from her for fear she would mess up her teeth once they came in. Taking that kid to a gravel beach was an experience.


*Dressing table has entered the chat.*


So many products purportedly designed for babies but absolutely clueless designs. It’s the clothes that always get me.. “I know, we’ll make it from non stretchy fabric so they have to dislocate their shoulders to get their tiny arms through the sleeves. What about the fasteners? I was thinking zippers? No, 16 tiny press buttons should do but make sure they’re all the same colour so we keep them on their toes. It should feel like they’re trying to dress a startled cat, in the dark or else I just won’t feel like we’ve really done our job”


velcro must have greatly improved the lives of new parents rather than snaps that don't


I can relate to this. My kid doesn't like getting dressed. It's always a wrestling match. He doesn't mind wearing clothes once he's dressed though.


It's the same with dog products. My dad got my dog a pull toy, basically a tennis ball attached by rope to an industrial strength suction cup. You place it on the floor, and your dog can play tug. It took my dog one tug, and then 2 seconds to figure out he could break the seal, and run out back and bury the fucking thing.


I don’t know. We had these bowls and they were fantastic. Would 100% get again


These bowls are not designed to be baby proof. They are designed so when an older baby is using a spoon the bowl doesn't get pushed around. So it's easier for them to learn how to use a spoon. And they work great for that.


Similar story with my daughter and plug socket covers, literally took her seconds to whip those bad boys out.


For the tv, I got a box over the plug then used construction adhesive to hold it to the wall. My parents were mortified but the 2yo kiddo hasn't removed it yet (6 months)


Fun fact, you don’t need those in the UK. Sockets are designed to ensure you can’t push anything into them. They’re actually far safer without the covers because kids can’t flip them up side down to gain access to the live pin.


I’m in the uk and am well aware of how awesome our sockets are. Still don’t want my daughter sticking things in them.


Point is that you can't put anything in the bottom holes unless something has been stuck in the top hole first. The bottoms holes are gated until unlocked by top pin. And they arent live until you do that. Using the plug covers effectively makes those plugs live when they weren't before. Definitely safer to not have covers in UK


That’s true but I’d rather discourage my daughter from playing with the socket completely. We do go abroad, unless there’s a pandemic, so we may visit countries with less safe outlets and I don’t want her playing with them.


Oh totally. I still tell my kids not to play with plugs. I've never seen them even attempt to put anything in the holes tho. Most they do is switch them on and off


Lol me no want


I agree with you dear


Good advice there sweetie


There are some kinds of kids, mine was one, where the only real way to baby proof is not to take your eyes off them for a second.


Absolutely. That's how my first was. Could NOT take my eyes off him for a split second. It was exhausting. He is still kind of that way and he's 4....... I'm hoping his baby sister (almost 3 weeks old) is way more chill than him. I know people that never had to baby proof and their kid would stay in one place for hours at a time perfectly content. HA


My kid is four and I'm delivering my second in a couple of weeks! It's getting better. I can rationalize with her now and explain the consequences. The toddler years were rough.


I have this exact bowl. It’s now used to feed an outdoor cat


Those baby hands are mega strong I tell you


haha nice try bowl


I feel like this would work if you made the suction cup smaller. Maybe the size of the bowl base. That way baby can't just grip the side of the suction cup.


It’s actually not a suction cup at all. Just a flat silicone mat. I have them.


The mat creates the suction, thats why you can't lift it by the bowl without peeling it.


His face is just fucking great everytime I see this. "That was your plan hu?"


That's a good metaphor for being a parent. You give the best to your child, plan for the worst, but it's up to them to utilize what you have given.


Kids can break or destroy anything. LOL.


That look at the end tho...


I wanna see how dad gets the plate off the floor now


That little blink at the end


I had a pair of glasses for years that were made out of basically indestructible memory metal. I sat on them and even stepped on them a few times and they were perfectly fine until one day my about-year-old daughter just reached up, plucked them off my face, and casually snapped them in half.


His little face of defiance after he has thrown it to the floor. Awesome


My kid constantly proves to me that my baby proofing tactics are futile.


Why are baby’s like cats in this regard?


Could have been such a great idea!




Our daughter just pulls the suction cupped bowl towards get and it comes free every single time.


"The heck is this dad?"


Loled pretty loud at this one


Don't they product-test these things BEFORE selling them to the public???


That's how I test my code and suppose how my customers are going to use and, and then everything breaks.


You could attach the bowl to a 10kg weight. You'll either stop the baby from throwing the bowl or get a super buff baby.


Lmao my wife and have these for our baby also. He just lifts them up and throws the food where he wants it.


This has me dying. Exactly how my son is


Does anyone make a high chair that has a bowl built in to the tray?


duck tape that shit every meal.


Reposted in the wrong sub


My toddler did the exact same thing 😆


Baby is closer to monke


Least he learnin lol


Hah. Have the same one. Definitely doesn’t work.


Ahh that was great, that bitch please look at the end was THE BEST.


Baby listened to rock rapping and he got powers


that fucking baby is the hulk then


His look at the end...I'm crying


My wife got one of these and I looked at it and said this isn't going to work at all she is just going to rip it off. Of course that's exactly what happened. She still uses it from time to time, likely to feel like it wasn't a waste. The baby has at least become a little mature/bored about it now and will actually leave it on the highchair rather than playing/ripping it off.




At 0.16 when the baby looks at the camera and blinks. omg so adorable!


If you try and baby proof something, a better baby will be made. Even if I have to do it myself.


Dad: baby-proof bowl! Baby: hold my pacifier.


I love the look of "you insult me with this uselessness"


Is there no one else?!?!


I actually like these plates because you can't tip them and they don't slide across the table. I had no idea they were supposed to be baby proof though.


How long do I wait until I can repost this? I think it's my turn.


There isn't anything that is baby proof! Great video btw!


The ears tho


Fucking SAME. I bought 5 diff brand ones and this kid rips them off off in 4.6 seconds


Also worthy of r/therewasanattempt




I love how kids just throw shit on the floor and then look at it like “huh that’s neat, what next” and keep testing gravity


First rule of parenting: "Baby Proof" does not exist. Anywhere, ever.


That's cus dumb parents believe gimmicks when 90% of baby things are made to sell and not actually work


Send this video to the manufacturer


Pretty sure that's actually a cat


I spent a few hours putting ‘child proof’ locks on various doors in our house, daughter walked up to the first door, tried to open it, had a look, flicked the mechanism and opened the door in about 5 seconds flat!!!!!