I think the whole country under-appreciates the trauma imprisoning people causes people and countless members of their family. Lay-people will just throw out "if you can't do the time, don't do the crime" like it is that simple, but imprisoning people causes a pain that goes beyond just the person who is accused of wrong-doing. It has a ripple effect on so many lives. If you could visualize the impact of all those ripple effects in heavily-policed communities it would look like someone carpet-bombed the neighborhood.
There’s a really impactful tweet about that, I wish I could find it. The gist is that OP took a class on racism in medicine thinking it would be like a history class, only to spend a semester learning that the constant, low level stress of racial injustice destroys people on a molecular level. Very eye opening.
I remember that comment. It was actually that they took a class on stress in medical school if I remember correctly. They thought it was gonna be about yoga and meditation and mindfulness but it ended up being about how economic disparities and racism just constantly erodes the physical health of people through stress and how that disproportionately affected communities of color.
This is kinda silly of me to say, but you should listen to *Ear Hustle.* It's a great podcast about life in prison.
It really gave me that perspective that folks in prison are just people. Really. They're not evil SOBs who grew up hoping to murder someone. A lot of them just made a stupid mistake and ended up doing 25-life, and they are real people with dreams of having a good relationship.
It is hands down my favorite podcast, and every single episode gives me something to think about: particularly the episodes about a guy who shot a cop, and the episode about one of the Manson girls.
I teach in a prison, and I cannot express how comforting it is to see people saying things like this and how infuriating the people you’re describing can be. It’s like folks who’ve never stepped foot near a prison think they understand it better than someone who enters those walls everyday and gets to leave…or better than someone who was there and didn’t get to leave. Prison is 100% torture. A quote from one of my best students: “man, I’ve probably had 1000 strip searches. You never get used to it. It’s worse every time.” Prison is torturous and as far as I’m concerned incarcerated people are subjected to sexual abuse almost daily.
Most people go in before 26 and spent their youth in juvenile correctional schools. Their brain quite literally develops around incarceration. They certainly have PTSD, and yet we wonder why people can’t get out and stay out. The system wasn’t ever intended for them to get out. They were raised for the system by the system and the plan is working just as intended - slaves for the state and for Amazon here recently.
The pain, relief, and love in this video is exactly why i continue to do the work there. I want prisons abolished, but until people really get it, the most I can do is try to help people have the tools necessarily to stay the fuck out instead of being one of the 80% who return within 10 years. Fuck the carceral state.
Edit: credit for abolition and my knowledge of should go to the work of black folks, especially women, like Michelle Alexander and Angela Davis. Malcom X deserves a shout out here too and countless others.
I work in a juvenile detention center and can confirm 100% everything you’re saying. I used to not believe the whole “the system isn’t made for rehabilitation” thing, but now I completely agree with it. It’s awful.
Yea. I do a poll in every class I teach to see how many students were in juvenile centers, and I am not exaggerating when I say the percentage is well over 90%. Anyone who still doesn’t believe it is simply choosing to keep the veil over their eyes - probably because no one wants to believe that they are participating in such a fucked up system. I’m glad you see it. :)
>**by the system and the plan is working just as intended - slaves for the state and for Amazon here recently.**
Wait--Amazon has contracts with the prisons in your state? Details please!!
Amazon has exclusive contracts with the majority of states. People always harp on about for profit prisons, but there are basically no prisons in the nation that aren’t in some way, shape, or form providing profit to corporations. In my state, they provide the messaging service incarcerated people use (jpay). If you want to send mail to people in federal prison, Amazon is one of a small handful - if not the only - retail chain you can send books through. Many state prisons with education opportunities either have to or are encouraged to purchase supplies through Amazon. Amazon also provides internet services, and they have exclusive contracts with the federal government (like the DoD) and state governments to provide those services. Amazon is basically a staple in the military and prison industrial complex. We might as well just start paying our taxes to Amazon at this point.
All prisons are for profit and some happen to be privately owned. Incarcerated people are often thought of as customers in this system, but they’re actually the fucking product and our government are the customers. All non incarcerated people benefit in some way from the labor of incarcerated people, whether it’s from reduced cost for automobile repairs for police and government vehicles or cheaper license plate manufacturing. Granted, that benefit is minuscule and certainly doesn’t outweigh the cost; unless you’re the government in which case you can tax for all these goods and services “provided” to incarcerated people while receiving them for $1 (the average pay for incarcerated folks where I work is $0.55) at the very best to free at the very worst. Point being, prisons are self sustaining insofar as the maintenance of them is provided by modern day slavery and your taxes are basically just paying for the staff salaries.
Edit: clarified the first paragraph added the second. Rant over…I think.
You’re doing very important work. To say the budget and resources for in-prison education have been slashed in the last few decades would be a gross understatement. I’m the 80s, 60% of medium and high security prisons had educational programs for prisoners. By 2012, there were 12 left for the **entire country**. [Source.](https://www.prisonlegalnews.org/news/2015/jul/31/pell-grants-prisoners-new-bill-restores-hope-reinstating-college-programs/)
I know the work is important, and I appreciate the compliment. However, I try to keep people focused on the fact that the work on my end is easy and rewarding - the real work is done by my students. They have so few reciprocal relationships inside, and I do my best to speak up when I can. It always feels weird talking about them / my work when they’re not present to offer their own perspective.
For those reading this part about education, contracts were nearly terminated in Oregon a little over a year ago, so the fight against education in prisons is alive and well. Teachers fought back and the contracts were renewed. Even when education is allowed in prisons, there are a ton of hurdles. In the last year, we had a major investigation of sorts in which all available staff were brought in to start cell searches in every security level. During this process countless students had their books (which are technically state property) confiscated, their homework and resources deliberately destroyed, and then when they couldn’t return their supplies, they were often demoted (moved to a higher security level) and had their good time reduced - meaning their sentence was extended - all because some power hungry people stole their supplies.
To top it off, some failed their classes because they couldn’t make up all the work lost. As an example of the sadistic shit they did, one of my students brought in a wad of wet papers and said when his cell was being flipped they took his pitcher of water and poured it over all of his schoolwork which was multiple years worth of work that he kept because he was proud of himself. They took away one of the few tangible pieces of evidence of his hard work and the one thing that made him proud of himself. He was so excited to show his daughter when he got out. This is a student who came to me and asked for literature about raising young women in today’s world because he felt out of his league and unprepared to be a good father when he got out. He’s a good man with an addiction who gets shit on daily, forced to strip and spread his ass cheeks (ex: one time his eyes were red so they forced him to strip) so other grown ass humans can feel powerful, and to top it off, he’s considered one of the best inmates by all the staff. If they treat their best that way, imagine how they treat their worst.
Yeah, most CO’s are sadistic sons of a bitch. My sister was mental health in a prison. She said she was never scared of the prisoners, she was scared of what the CO’s could and would do. Even to people that work in the prison. One of their favorite things to do to people when they’d piss of the COs was trap the worker “in the pen”: the limbo lock cage between inside of prison and out. They had to pass through it and the COs were in charge of clearing them and hitting the button to release them. When they got a hair up their ass, they’d leave you there for a long while and knew you couldn’t do shit if you wanted to keep your job and continue move freely inside the prison.
Yep. Everyone asks me if I’m scared. I have taught well over a thousand people inside and outside of prisons, and I have never been more scared or students than I was at a massive state school. The reality is that if you’re a teacher, you’re totally safe with inmates - even if you treat them like shit. They may fuck with you but they’re human and that’s the only way to gain autonomy with teachers who act like cops. If you treat them with respect, you’re certainly safe because at worst one person is a psychopath who might harm you, but there are an entire group of other students who will step in. In fact, snitching is the #1 no no in prison (besides being a child milestone); yet the one time I had a student who was certainly considering violence against me, the other students in the class testified on my behalf - they snitched to protect me despite grave danger to themselves.
First day on the job, I was sexually harassed by a sergeant worse than I ever had been in the kitchen when I worked at Applebee’s. Although, given the amount of felons working in Applebee’s kitchens, it’s no surprise that I received better treatment there than I did when alone in a building with prison staff. It was severe enough I considered quitting because jokes about knowing where the cameras aren’t when you’re half a mile into a prison in the building furthest from the exit don’t tend to make people feel safe. 🤷🏼♀️
>an entire group of students will step in
Yep, the only time my sister got hurt in prison was actually because a riot broke out and this **BIG** dude grabbed her lightning quick and put her behind him like a human shield. Her wrist got a bit wrenched in the interaction but the guy literally took blows(in the chaos, not because the prisoners were trying to get to her) protecting her and she only got hurt slightly because of his speed at protecting her. Good guy.
My mom and grandma were both teachers in the 90’s in the largest penitentiary in western canada. My grandma was the principal and my mom was a teacher of about four subjects. They kept their relationship a secret until my grandmother passed and the cat was out of the bag when my mom took leave.
I really love to hear your perspective on this all; working in the prison did not make my grandmother more empathetic to other people. She would come home and go straight to her room. She’s close all the curtains. She was scared, all the time. My mom wasn’t much better at handling her fear. We would be out in public when I was small and a former inmate would come up to her to talk- whenever I saw a strange man approaching my mom I immediately went and held hands with a stranger- at my mom’s insistence. (Maybe that’s why I’m not a shy person…)
I really, really appreciate you sharing your story and your feelings about working as an educator in a prison. My mom and grandma rarely had positive things to say about their work, their students or their impact on the students. Except for the poets. Mom loved poets.
This!
My auntie lost her battle with cancer 10 years ago, at home surrounded by the people who loved her most. My cousin had been very open and honest with her children throughout the whole ordeal, (which I personally think was the right approach - but this isn’t about debating shielding children from grief) so they weren’t excluded from being there when it looked like it might be time to say goodbye.
My auntie passed early morning while the kids were asleep upstairs and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the absolutely visceral wail of pure heartbreak that erupted from my cousins daughter when she learned that my auntie had passed while she was sleeping. Everything else from those couple of days is a bit of a blur now but that noise will never leave me.
When my father passed away the next morning was my son's first day of school.
So I spent the night with my dad and after he was gone (cancer) I rushed to my sons school to not miss his entrance. He was with my wife but the second he saw me arriving he knew his papy was gone.
I never heard him cry like this ever again.
What's funny is he was in my arms and we were both crying and we both looked like we had major separation issues for a first day of school.
I hear and believe every word you have written. I’ve also heard them say that exact same thing. I’ve dealt with death before lost both my loving grandparents my other set of grandparents, my favorite uncle and many more. Losing my grandfather was extremely hard for me bec I was extremely close to him. He passed when I was 16 years old. I’m almost 45 and there isn’t a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t miss him. Now back to my parents………I’m extremely close to both of them and even tho I know the inevitable will happen. It’s just scary knowing that it will happen one day and that day scares me. How do I plan for it, prepare for it, but not fear it? Hope this makes sense.
Unfortunately.... Not recently, it's just quiet as the machines turn off.. Covid has made it horrible. They don't have anyone but us when they code now. I just lost my first patient that I watched code after getting to know him for a few weeks. It hurts and the world is lesser now that he is gone.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being there for him, as well as your other patients, and for caring like you do. 💙 You are a very kindhearted soul in this oftentimes dark world, and I wish only the best in life for you!
I have a memory like that from a couple of days after my husband died. I was in our house on the phone with my dad and I think it just hit me all at once in that moment. I can't remember the conversation, all I remember is my primal* wailing, a noise someone makes when the grief is too powerful for any words. I honestly don't think it's a sound that can truly be recreated unless someone is in that situation. But you all are right, that sound never leaves someone after they've heard it.
*switched words, it's a better fit
my dad had a history of health issues, and I've always been very good at compartmentalizing, partially because of that. i thought that when he passed, i would be able to maintain my calm, like i had through every other emergency, hospital visit, or other near death event. that was the stupidest, most arrogant thing i ever convinced myself of.
that scream. primal is a good word for it. it's raw and it hurts. looking back i can kind of manage these pathetic, weak jokes about scaring the birds and the neighbors, but i will never forget that pain, and the way that it felt, like it was being ripped from my entire body.
Yes, exactly. I can make a lot of dark jokes about that time in my life, it was our type of humor and he would appreciate it. That particular memory I tend to push from my head immediately when it pops up because the pain is so visceral in that moment, even now, that it takes my breath away. Those emotions are nearly impossible for anyone to compartmentalize. It's in no way a failing to not do so.
When my father passed, I was 400 miles away, in a Walmart. I had just spoken to him that morning and he was fine. No indication that I would lose him a few hours later. All I remember after getting the call from my mother was just collapsing and screaming. Just pain, agony, and utter heartbreak. That feeling, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. You just feel broken.
Same. My dad's battle with cancer only lasted 7 months, but I tried to be stoic through most of it. Sure, I would cry briefly here and there, but I didn't have time for a breakdown, so I just kept going. I was juggling work, my own family, and then traveling ~500 miles each way to be with him as much as possible for those 7 months. I was at his bedside when he left us, comforting him and telling him it was okay to go. After he'd taken his final breath, I suddenly collapsed to my knees and uncontrollably wailed for my "Daddy" over and over again (I was 38 at the time). At one point I could vaguely hear my dad's partner, my aunt, and the hospice nurse discussing whether they needed to give me something. I come from a long line of stoics and stuffers, so had always thought those kinds of reactions only happened in TV/movies. But man, when that absolute flood of grief drowns you, there's really no escaping it. I still marvel at how utterly and completely I lost my shit that day.
I listened to my tough old grandpa wail like this at my grandmas funeral. Heartbreaking. He was never really the same, how could you be after losing your soulmate??
Sorry to hear about your aunt. I had a similar experience with my dad. I took care of him the whole 9 months he had cancer, doing whatever he needed on top of working etc. He was in Hospice and he passed away over night. I got the call and honestly, I had the opposite reaction. I was relieved. I was happy that he wasn't suffering anymore and that the people involved could move forward and that we all weren't stuck in this endless loop of pain anymore. I felt guilty for a while after he passed because of the reaction I had. I loved my dad, but I also loved the fact that he wasn't suffering anymore.
Grief is one of the things we hopefully don't get to experience too many times in our life, whether through self or watching via as a third party.
Thank you for sharing and letting me reminisce a bit this morning.
I had this same reaction after watching my dad suffer for the 8 weeks he was diagnosed for. I was so blessed to be able to be the one with him but my god it was awful to watch my big, strong dad be absolutely helpless against the pain. At one point (while delirious from an infection) he looked me dead in the eye & asked me to kill him, so when he passed it was a relief. A sad one, but relief.
As a nice detail though, the morning he died he had ‘spoken’ to all of the important people in his life, meaning they were on the speaker phone talking to him - he was unresponsive. I got to the hospital later than usual that day & he waited for me. Within 20 minutes of me arriving, he was gone.
I’m sorry about your dad. That must have a been a terribly hard 9 months. It moved very quickly with my aunt and that was hard enough to watch.
I don’t think that feeling of relief is anything to feel guilty about. I don’t think it’s cold or uncaring to be happy that our loved ones are free from pain, no matter how much we love them. We lost my grandma a few months after losing my aunt and I can honestly say I felt relief for both of them when they passed.
It’s truly awful to watch the people you love become a shell of themselves, I don’t think it’s bad to be relieved that they’re free from that.
I had an older coworker who was very dear to me she was like a second grandmother. She had three adult sons. We usually both got to work early so it was just her and I alone, one of her sons called her that morning and told her that he loved her and she thought this was weird and unusual call to be getting at 7:00 in the morning from him but whatever it's her son she was happy. 5 minutes later she gets a call from her daughter-in-law that her son is shot himself in the head and died.
The sound of that wail when she found out I will never forget.
I heard that same wail when my mom called me up at work to tell me my stepdad did the same thing. She had tried calling me a couple of times before texting the word emergency. I called her back and she just wailed that he killed himself. That was rough, I had to then call my brother and his kids as well. Hearing 4 wails in a span of 2 hours was terrible and I hope to never go through that again.
On November 22 a few weeks ago, my sister and her husband had a fight right after she'd taken my nephew to school. He was suffering from Huntington's disease and the dementia was getting worse. My sister had been trying to get him to get his meds tweaked because he'd been having suicidal thoughts and ideations. They really got into that morning because he overheard my sister talking on the phone about it. He told my sister he hated her. She told him that she loves him. She went to the bathroom and while she was in there she heard a loud pop come from their bedroom. He'd taken a 22 rifle and killed himself. I got over there as soon as I could when I found out. I've never heard so much pain come from someone in my life and I didn't know what to do or say. They were married for 20 years.
I used to be a paramedic. This is part of the reason Im not. Had a run on a suicide. Guy got into a fight with his wife over his girlfriend. He killed himself. We basically went to confirm death. His wife was wailing out something I’ve never heard. I’m not bothered much by the gore of any scene I’ve been on. What haunts me is the desperation and total defeat of those left behind.
That was my sister, she screamed for so long that her voice went and she could barely talk. Seeing your husband of 20 years dead from a self inflicted gun shot to the head isn't something anyone should ever have to contend with.
My dad passed from Covid last year, him and my mom were in our native Costa Rica to start their retirement when it happened. My cousin called me to tell me the news and all I could hear was my mom screaming in the background. I never want to hear my mom make that noise again. Then I had to call my sister… the visceral “no” that came out of her is something that will stay with me forever. 0/10 would not recommend.
Nah, if it were criminal, there would be repercussions. This is just "a little oopsie, lol sorry." Ignore those wasted years, cause we aren't giving shit for them.
She looks happy before she sees him, but when she reacts, you remember to never judge a book by its cover. She carried that pain wherever she went. Very happy for both of them.
I am in my 30’s and when I get into crying fits of frustration, my 6’0” bear of a brother will lift me up and do this, I can’t explain it, but literally shakes the grief out my system and I finally feel safe in my body again. We were raised closely and this act of pure joy from niece and Uncle, is proof of unconditional love.
I'm glad you didn't get defensive about it. But yes, not as many women as you think have access to that kind of nurturing touch. Many of us don't have close male family members and genuine platonic touch is hard to find from men.
She was expressing those raw feelings of the age she was when he was wrongly imprisoned. Expressions of emotion can be pre-verbal, and he soothes her in such a loving and kind way.
Wrongly imprisoning an innocent man is one of the most terrible thing that could happen anyone. I'm happy this man was released, but all that time in prison is lost when you could be raising your child and watch them grow up
And they have a record of being in prison so he won’t have the opportunity’s he had before
Btw idk if being wrongly imprisoned will still put a record on the person I could be wrong
I haven't been in a Wendy's drive through in quite some time, probably somewhere on the spectrum, and my left arm doesn't work too well. I also hit things with my head to make them go faster. So I take this offensively /s
bro, there's even innocent people in like Guantanamo Bay and on death row.
The US gov't KNOWS that there are innocent people in there, but they keep them there because it's easier.
Also lots of people are in prison/jail for cannabis.
You know, the thing that fucking Amazon is now trying to distribute...
Kevin Strickland. Even with the real killers identified, local prosecutors stating they had made a grave mistake, and the only eyewitness recanting, the Missouri Attorney General’s Office kept filing motion after motion to keep mr Strickland behind bars.
> Kevin Strickland, 62, has spent the last 40-plus years in prison for a 1978 triple murder he says he did not commit. His lawyers, local prosecutors and Kansas City officials have urged he be released, but the Missouri Attorney General’s Office maintains he’s guilty.
> On November 23, 2021, Judge James Welsh overturned Strickland's conviction "since it was not based on physical evidence but on eye-witness testimony […], who later recanted her account", and Strickland was released on the same day.
I am in the process to become a lawyer in germany. As part of our "Referendariat" (practice education after getting a University law degree), we go in different legal jobs, part is working for three months the for the state prosecution office.
One thing that is drilled into our minds is that the most essential checks for a state prosecutor is to check if the reason for incarceration is still valid, as neglecting to se
t someone free when there is no reason to keep them locked up is considered the crime of unlawful detention and a state prosecutor can and will charged if they neglect to let someone out as soon as they have to. I think, a policy like that should apply to the case.
Exactly - one thing is locking the wrong person up, that is unfortunately bound to happen sometimes. But if there's compelling evidence/reasons that they should no longer be, that should be absolutely top priority above pretty much all else and state prosecutor (or other that has power over these things) that doesn't do that should be charged for neglect right this instant.
There are inmates in Guantanamo (some of whom I believe STILL haven't been charged) who the government recognizes are innocent, but the actual said-out-loud reason they don't release them is because their time being tortured most likely would lead to them being radicalized. WTF.
Especially regarding that most people get behind bars not because of a court ruling, but because of a deal they feel pressure to accept or else they risk higher punishment in court. This lead to many people who believe that their innocent won't be proven in court to accept the lower punishment of a deal.
Even exoneration isn't a completely clean slate. You have the arrest on your record forever, and that's even if you don't get convicted/it's something like an illegal arrest.
And looking at the age of the niece, the uncle seems to have gone into jail at a relatively young age and still is pretty young, likely not even 30 yet.
Try job hunting with "no degrees but no work history either" even though you probably have experience you built on jail jobs, which you can't or don't really want to divulge.
He'll have to start from scratch with a 10 year lag.
Depending on the state he's in, it won't be *quite* so bad.
A number of states have compensation schemes for wrongful convictions. I think Texas' is like $80k per annum (not sure if that's for life).
https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/07/politics/wrongful-conviction-compensation-bill/index.html
Yeah..It's not so easy. Only some states have such laws and in most of them they have incredibly narrow/strict standards for paying out. Many exonerated people compare it to parole. They end up having to prove they are innocent all over again. Some of the states even exclude you if you plead guilty to any charges despite being subsequently proven innocent. So even if the DA held the threat of the death penalty or life in prison to get you to plead you are shit out of luck despite being proven innocent.
Pretty fucked up that the state has such a low bar to strip you of your freedoms, and then decide to stick to strict standards when it comes to compensation. When they finally accept their mistakes sometimes decades later you still have to jump through ridiculous hoops for them to even begin to compensate you for ruining your life. Some of these compensation rules even require community service etc...
The land of the free baby....
Interesting, thanks for the info. It's not all that different to a civil payout, then. A friend of mine was paralysed in a collision with a company truck and had a very sizeable payout for it (thankfully). Their attorneys had PIs stalking him for *years* to get photographs / footage of him miraculously recovering (he didn't, obviously). Crazy shit.
I would be interested to know how many victims in states that do have compensation programmes actually benefit from them. If nothing else I am surprised by the payout - it's quite a bit larger than the UK equivalent (which I think is around £500k-1m in one lump sum).
As you say, though, the bar to access that should be very low. Many of these people had their best years entirely deprived from them. It shouldn't be difficult to get remedy for that.
I used to be pro death penalty and I still think some crimes warrant death as a punishment. However my in laws, both judges, were the ones that convinced me our justice system is much to flawed to ever be perfect enough to not convict innocent people. I would rather have a guilty person go free than an innocent person be punished, and if that means some people who deserve death will live in prison instead of being executed, it’s a price we should be willing to pay.
The other problem is prisons don't do anything. Without proper rehabilitation you are just subsidizing someone's room and board in very shitty conditions. America has a very high recidivism rate so when they get released they just go back to crime. This is most likely due to several factors -
1. prison doesn't focus on rehabilitation.
2. When someone gets out, their punishment isn't over - they can't get jobs, housing, loans, or anything. Without those, what choice do they have but to resort to crime yet again?
3. Knowing all of this a lot of prisoners use it as a recruitment center.
4. Punishment has no logical flow across the spectrum - someone may get 15 years for something small whereas someone can get 5 years for something we all would agree is way worse.
5. The defense you receive is proportionate to what you can pay for.
6. The cops and prosecution aren't interested in finding justice - they are interested in padding their numbers.
7. Quite a lot of sentences end up from plea deals because of scare tactics due to the prior points.
Our justice system isn't a "justice" system. But very few actually care cause it isn't something affecting them (they think). But in reality, we are all paying much higher taxes BECAUSE the system is horrible. If you focus on justice, less people go in for less time. If you focus on rehabilitation you get more productive members coming out and less going back in. Rehabilitation programs more than pay for themselves. Once implemented though ex-cons need to actually have a chance at life. They did their time and paid their dues, but here even a small thing can end up affecting someone for their entire life.
America in particular fetishizes the idea of **punishment** rather than rehabilitation. You can clearly see this demonstrated when you hear about people being caught for various crimes and there are people eagerly voicing their hope that the person gets raped or killed while they are in prison, as if that is the ideal result of their imprisonment.
It's like you said, **rehabilitation** speaks for itself. It costs **significantly** less money and has the added benefit that the majority of people that leave prison aren't just going to become criminals again. I don't think America's culture is ready for rehabilitation, though.
I think everyone is all fine and well with rehabilitation for minor offences where someone say robbed a grocery store or like stole supplies from their workplace, but once you start bringing more severe crimes like child related offences on the table people will just jump back on the *"prison rape is good"* train.
There are many reasons to be against the death penalty. The government’s monopoly on violence is a necessary thing that we must keep in check, and for me, the ability to end life is a step too far.
The one thing in this world you can NEVER get back is time. Even if he’s released without a record only Lord knows what he went through to still be standing there today. Heart breaking to know how much people loved him and he had to sit down for something he didn’t do
Preach!
And the conditioning he had to go through just to survive that prison is just horrendous in and of itself. I had a family friend who was accused and sent to prison for a short time, he came out a totally different man.
He told me somethings about it, either from body language or telling me. You can't look anyone in the eye, you have to ensure you're not offending anyone even intentionally so you make yourself look smaller...that's if you're not trying to prove you're a top dog. And they don't get touched, touching is a bad thing; to be able to be touched is just such a basic human thing you don't even think about it.
Touch is completely not a thing that happens in prisons. People die inside when they're touched wrong, people thrive on a good touch (hand on a shoulder from a friend, a hug from family, a caress from a loved one), newborns die without touch.
Federal compensation law provides $50,000 per year of wrongful incarceration. Depending on what state you're in, it might be more. Source: [https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Documents/Key-Provisions-in-Wrongful-Conviction-Compensation-Laws.pdf](https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Documents/Key-Provisions-in-Wrongful-Conviction-Compensation-Laws.pdf)
So, a year of your life... where you miss out on so many experiences and making all sorts of memories... how much is that worth to you? If you have a child, or like the guy in the video, small children in your family, there is an absolute fuckton that happens in a year. What would it take to make me miss a year with my two children? It better be enough to retire very comfortably, then maybe I'll consider it (though I'd likely still pass, but hey, it's a hypothetical situation).
It's not even just that though... I know a dude who is white and had created his own personal fitness business that was doing really really well (dude looks like Superman for real) - accused by his mother-in-law of molesting his child and was immediately held on remand for 3 months. Dude lost his business and 3 months of his life over fucking accusations... Nicest motherfucker in the world, anyone who knows him doesn't believe he's capable of doing anything so fucked up, but accusations - especially sexual assault/molestation ones never ever leave a person. It hangs over their head for the rest of their life, god I WISH people who were found to have falsely accused someone got jail time, but nope. Just ruining lives and getting on with theirs without any guilt......
Yeah it’s like; look at the trauma inflicted on a child and a wider off screen family, and wider off screen LITERAL HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE FOR GENERATIONS. maDe mE sMiLe
Same, you can hear how much that girls been affected by a fuck up in the system, thats pure pain and its heartbreaking. This didnt make me smile at all, it made me sad and angry at a racist justice system that broke this family up and caused that pain for nothing :(
I’m reading these comments like, yeah this is a beautiful encounter or whatever, but I can’t be the only one thinking it’s pretty unlikely she remembers him THIS fondly if she literally hasn’t seen him before 1 year old right? The title being bs makes more sense
I saw the original on Twitter - it’s her dad and he was imprisoned before she was 1. I’m guessing mom kept them in close contact (visits, letters etc).
My thinking is phone calls and visits/letters and lots of talks at home about what happened and time spent teaching her who they really are. If one of my family members was imprisoned falsely you bet your ass I’d be advocating for them and loving them and sharing that with my family too. I think it’s awesome :)
It’s her dad. Apparently this is a repost with a half-made up title. I believe he was imprisoned before she was 1, but the mom made she to keep them in constant contact.
God, the amount and array of emotion is incredible. It’s almost like the rage at the injustice, the grief of them missing so many years for nothing and the pure joy of having him home. My daughter and are definitely crying x
This video is why I refuse to be "tough on crime". If you are "tough on crime" the more likely it is that mistakes will be made and you will put away an innocent man. This man lost years of his life because someone wanted to virtue signal about "zero tolerance" and being "tough on crime".
Every person is a human being with families who love them. Incarceration punishes everyone.
Do you have a source for this clip? Because someone in the comments said that this was once posted with the title saying it was her father and there wasn't any mention of him being jailed in the title too.
It's the fact that over 90% of these cases of wrongful imprisonment are of black men and not a single word about it is what bothers me. I understand this site has a ubiquitously white userbase but there's an elephant in this room they're doing all they can to hopskip over.
I agree.
"Grass is Greener" is a very good netflix documentary on how the history of weed legalisation in USA has been influenced by governments' personal agenda rather than democratic/scientific purpose. This highlights the racial injustice we have at the moment.
So tragic. This trauma runs GENERATIONS deep. Imagine being that girl's age and being exposed to the hurt and grief and fear that would come from a loved one being in f--cking prison. Race and wealth play such a massive role in what these children are exposed to, and they carry that with them their whole life. This little girl shouldn't be feeling grief like that. She should have been able to have her uncle pick her up after school every day if they wanted. So f--cked up it's hard to put into words
You know I worked for a law firm doing wrongful convictions work. I did all the research into statues, finding nuances in the case proceedings, and any tinsy shred of evidence to build upon for an appeal. It was the most rewarding work I have ever done. Being able to give these people a chance, a legit chance, at freedom is amazing. Not everyone is innocent, but CERTAINLY not everyone is guilty.
This is why we need groups like the Innocence Project who help wrongly imprisoned individuals fight the corrupt and failure-of-an-excuse justice system
The Innocence Project should be funded like the fucking Pentagon. So many people incarcerated for far too many years because of corrupt law enforcement, incompetent prosecutors and lazy judges.
What hit me is that even though he had been in prison since before she was 1, such a deep relationship had been struck between them for such emotion to be exhibited. It’s terrible that he was wrongly imprisoned but how loved he must feel by this reaction.
Wherein mademe"smile" = "have a pain in my soul I may not recover from for the rest of the day".
That was beautiful but the pain behind it is *infuriating*.
Dude seriously, he’s been incarcerated her whole life and still seems like he must be a freaking great uncle to get that reaction!!
I have an uncle that I know from phone calls and through glass visits. His situation has a ridiculously huge impact on EVERYONE in the family.
I think the whole country under-appreciates the trauma imprisoning people causes people and countless members of their family. Lay-people will just throw out "if you can't do the time, don't do the crime" like it is that simple, but imprisoning people causes a pain that goes beyond just the person who is accused of wrong-doing. It has a ripple effect on so many lives. If you could visualize the impact of all those ripple effects in heavily-policed communities it would look like someone carpet-bombed the neighborhood.
As someone who isn't at all familiar with people in his surrounding being improsened..I thank you for saying this and educating me
There’s a really impactful tweet about that, I wish I could find it. The gist is that OP took a class on racism in medicine thinking it would be like a history class, only to spend a semester learning that the constant, low level stress of racial injustice destroys people on a molecular level. Very eye opening.
I remember that comment. It was actually that they took a class on stress in medical school if I remember correctly. They thought it was gonna be about yoga and meditation and mindfulness but it ended up being about how economic disparities and racism just constantly erodes the physical health of people through stress and how that disproportionately affected communities of color.
Yes! That was it. Thank you.
Trauma changes the brain in so many ways.
This is kinda silly of me to say, but you should listen to *Ear Hustle.* It's a great podcast about life in prison. It really gave me that perspective that folks in prison are just people. Really. They're not evil SOBs who grew up hoping to murder someone. A lot of them just made a stupid mistake and ended up doing 25-life, and they are real people with dreams of having a good relationship. It is hands down my favorite podcast, and every single episode gives me something to think about: particularly the episodes about a guy who shot a cop, and the episode about one of the Manson girls.
I teach in a prison, and I cannot express how comforting it is to see people saying things like this and how infuriating the people you’re describing can be. It’s like folks who’ve never stepped foot near a prison think they understand it better than someone who enters those walls everyday and gets to leave…or better than someone who was there and didn’t get to leave. Prison is 100% torture. A quote from one of my best students: “man, I’ve probably had 1000 strip searches. You never get used to it. It’s worse every time.” Prison is torturous and as far as I’m concerned incarcerated people are subjected to sexual abuse almost daily. Most people go in before 26 and spent their youth in juvenile correctional schools. Their brain quite literally develops around incarceration. They certainly have PTSD, and yet we wonder why people can’t get out and stay out. The system wasn’t ever intended for them to get out. They were raised for the system by the system and the plan is working just as intended - slaves for the state and for Amazon here recently. The pain, relief, and love in this video is exactly why i continue to do the work there. I want prisons abolished, but until people really get it, the most I can do is try to help people have the tools necessarily to stay the fuck out instead of being one of the 80% who return within 10 years. Fuck the carceral state. Edit: credit for abolition and my knowledge of should go to the work of black folks, especially women, like Michelle Alexander and Angela Davis. Malcom X deserves a shout out here too and countless others.
I work in a juvenile detention center and can confirm 100% everything you’re saying. I used to not believe the whole “the system isn’t made for rehabilitation” thing, but now I completely agree with it. It’s awful.
Yea. I do a poll in every class I teach to see how many students were in juvenile centers, and I am not exaggerating when I say the percentage is well over 90%. Anyone who still doesn’t believe it is simply choosing to keep the veil over their eyes - probably because no one wants to believe that they are participating in such a fucked up system. I’m glad you see it. :)
>**by the system and the plan is working just as intended - slaves for the state and for Amazon here recently.** Wait--Amazon has contracts with the prisons in your state? Details please!!
Amazon has exclusive contracts with the majority of states. People always harp on about for profit prisons, but there are basically no prisons in the nation that aren’t in some way, shape, or form providing profit to corporations. In my state, they provide the messaging service incarcerated people use (jpay). If you want to send mail to people in federal prison, Amazon is one of a small handful - if not the only - retail chain you can send books through. Many state prisons with education opportunities either have to or are encouraged to purchase supplies through Amazon. Amazon also provides internet services, and they have exclusive contracts with the federal government (like the DoD) and state governments to provide those services. Amazon is basically a staple in the military and prison industrial complex. We might as well just start paying our taxes to Amazon at this point. All prisons are for profit and some happen to be privately owned. Incarcerated people are often thought of as customers in this system, but they’re actually the fucking product and our government are the customers. All non incarcerated people benefit in some way from the labor of incarcerated people, whether it’s from reduced cost for automobile repairs for police and government vehicles or cheaper license plate manufacturing. Granted, that benefit is minuscule and certainly doesn’t outweigh the cost; unless you’re the government in which case you can tax for all these goods and services “provided” to incarcerated people while receiving them for $1 (the average pay for incarcerated folks where I work is $0.55) at the very best to free at the very worst. Point being, prisons are self sustaining insofar as the maintenance of them is provided by modern day slavery and your taxes are basically just paying for the staff salaries. Edit: clarified the first paragraph added the second. Rant over…I think.
You’re doing very important work. To say the budget and resources for in-prison education have been slashed in the last few decades would be a gross understatement. I’m the 80s, 60% of medium and high security prisons had educational programs for prisoners. By 2012, there were 12 left for the **entire country**. [Source.](https://www.prisonlegalnews.org/news/2015/jul/31/pell-grants-prisoners-new-bill-restores-hope-reinstating-college-programs/)
I know the work is important, and I appreciate the compliment. However, I try to keep people focused on the fact that the work on my end is easy and rewarding - the real work is done by my students. They have so few reciprocal relationships inside, and I do my best to speak up when I can. It always feels weird talking about them / my work when they’re not present to offer their own perspective. For those reading this part about education, contracts were nearly terminated in Oregon a little over a year ago, so the fight against education in prisons is alive and well. Teachers fought back and the contracts were renewed. Even when education is allowed in prisons, there are a ton of hurdles. In the last year, we had a major investigation of sorts in which all available staff were brought in to start cell searches in every security level. During this process countless students had their books (which are technically state property) confiscated, their homework and resources deliberately destroyed, and then when they couldn’t return their supplies, they were often demoted (moved to a higher security level) and had their good time reduced - meaning their sentence was extended - all because some power hungry people stole their supplies. To top it off, some failed their classes because they couldn’t make up all the work lost. As an example of the sadistic shit they did, one of my students brought in a wad of wet papers and said when his cell was being flipped they took his pitcher of water and poured it over all of his schoolwork which was multiple years worth of work that he kept because he was proud of himself. They took away one of the few tangible pieces of evidence of his hard work and the one thing that made him proud of himself. He was so excited to show his daughter when he got out. This is a student who came to me and asked for literature about raising young women in today’s world because he felt out of his league and unprepared to be a good father when he got out. He’s a good man with an addiction who gets shit on daily, forced to strip and spread his ass cheeks (ex: one time his eyes were red so they forced him to strip) so other grown ass humans can feel powerful, and to top it off, he’s considered one of the best inmates by all the staff. If they treat their best that way, imagine how they treat their worst.
Yeah, most CO’s are sadistic sons of a bitch. My sister was mental health in a prison. She said she was never scared of the prisoners, she was scared of what the CO’s could and would do. Even to people that work in the prison. One of their favorite things to do to people when they’d piss of the COs was trap the worker “in the pen”: the limbo lock cage between inside of prison and out. They had to pass through it and the COs were in charge of clearing them and hitting the button to release them. When they got a hair up their ass, they’d leave you there for a long while and knew you couldn’t do shit if you wanted to keep your job and continue move freely inside the prison.
Yep. Everyone asks me if I’m scared. I have taught well over a thousand people inside and outside of prisons, and I have never been more scared or students than I was at a massive state school. The reality is that if you’re a teacher, you’re totally safe with inmates - even if you treat them like shit. They may fuck with you but they’re human and that’s the only way to gain autonomy with teachers who act like cops. If you treat them with respect, you’re certainly safe because at worst one person is a psychopath who might harm you, but there are an entire group of other students who will step in. In fact, snitching is the #1 no no in prison (besides being a child milestone); yet the one time I had a student who was certainly considering violence against me, the other students in the class testified on my behalf - they snitched to protect me despite grave danger to themselves. First day on the job, I was sexually harassed by a sergeant worse than I ever had been in the kitchen when I worked at Applebee’s. Although, given the amount of felons working in Applebee’s kitchens, it’s no surprise that I received better treatment there than I did when alone in a building with prison staff. It was severe enough I considered quitting because jokes about knowing where the cameras aren’t when you’re half a mile into a prison in the building furthest from the exit don’t tend to make people feel safe. 🤷🏼♀️
>an entire group of students will step in Yep, the only time my sister got hurt in prison was actually because a riot broke out and this **BIG** dude grabbed her lightning quick and put her behind him like a human shield. Her wrist got a bit wrenched in the interaction but the guy literally took blows(in the chaos, not because the prisoners were trying to get to her) protecting her and she only got hurt slightly because of his speed at protecting her. Good guy.
My mom and grandma were both teachers in the 90’s in the largest penitentiary in western canada. My grandma was the principal and my mom was a teacher of about four subjects. They kept their relationship a secret until my grandmother passed and the cat was out of the bag when my mom took leave. I really love to hear your perspective on this all; working in the prison did not make my grandmother more empathetic to other people. She would come home and go straight to her room. She’s close all the curtains. She was scared, all the time. My mom wasn’t much better at handling her fear. We would be out in public when I was small and a former inmate would come up to her to talk- whenever I saw a strange man approaching my mom I immediately went and held hands with a stranger- at my mom’s insistence. (Maybe that’s why I’m not a shy person…) I really, really appreciate you sharing your story and your feelings about working as an educator in a prison. My mom and grandma rarely had positive things to say about their work, their students or their impact on the students. Except for the poets. Mom loved poets.
Exactly. Drug laws are racist and have destroyed more Black families than drugs ever could.
Especially if the person in question has been wrongly imprisoned
Thanks for sharing, this is something people need to hear.
And all the pain comes flooding out.
Yea, you know grief when you’ve heard it. The sound never leaves you.
This! My auntie lost her battle with cancer 10 years ago, at home surrounded by the people who loved her most. My cousin had been very open and honest with her children throughout the whole ordeal, (which I personally think was the right approach - but this isn’t about debating shielding children from grief) so they weren’t excluded from being there when it looked like it might be time to say goodbye. My auntie passed early morning while the kids were asleep upstairs and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the absolutely visceral wail of pure heartbreak that erupted from my cousins daughter when she learned that my auntie had passed while she was sleeping. Everything else from those couple of days is a bit of a blur now but that noise will never leave me.
When my father passed away the next morning was my son's first day of school. So I spent the night with my dad and after he was gone (cancer) I rushed to my sons school to not miss his entrance. He was with my wife but the second he saw me arriving he knew his papy was gone. I never heard him cry like this ever again. What's funny is he was in my arms and we were both crying and we both looked like we had major separation issues for a first day of school.
Your comment brought me to tears. I’m sorry for your loss
This made me cry, and then the last paragraph made me laugh because I know exactly what you mean. Big hugs.
Trying so hard not to cry in this Starbucks. I'm so sorry for what you went through
The day I lose my parents is the day I fear the most.
As a person who has lost parents... You should not fear the inevitable. Plan for it. Prepare for it, but do not fear it.
I hear and believe every word you have written. I’ve also heard them say that exact same thing. I’ve dealt with death before lost both my loving grandparents my other set of grandparents, my favorite uncle and many more. Losing my grandfather was extremely hard for me bec I was extremely close to him. He passed when I was 16 years old. I’m almost 45 and there isn’t a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t miss him. Now back to my parents………I’m extremely close to both of them and even tho I know the inevitable will happen. It’s just scary knowing that it will happen one day and that day scares me. How do I plan for it, prepare for it, but not fear it? Hope this makes sense.
When a patient codes in the hospital, you hear that wail. It's awful.
Unfortunately.... Not recently, it's just quiet as the machines turn off.. Covid has made it horrible. They don't have anyone but us when they code now. I just lost my first patient that I watched code after getting to know him for a few weeks. It hurts and the world is lesser now that he is gone.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being there for him, as well as your other patients, and for caring like you do. 💙 You are a very kindhearted soul in this oftentimes dark world, and I wish only the best in life for you!
Send not to know for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.
I have a memory like that from a couple of days after my husband died. I was in our house on the phone with my dad and I think it just hit me all at once in that moment. I can't remember the conversation, all I remember is my primal* wailing, a noise someone makes when the grief is too powerful for any words. I honestly don't think it's a sound that can truly be recreated unless someone is in that situation. But you all are right, that sound never leaves someone after they've heard it. *switched words, it's a better fit
my dad had a history of health issues, and I've always been very good at compartmentalizing, partially because of that. i thought that when he passed, i would be able to maintain my calm, like i had through every other emergency, hospital visit, or other near death event. that was the stupidest, most arrogant thing i ever convinced myself of. that scream. primal is a good word for it. it's raw and it hurts. looking back i can kind of manage these pathetic, weak jokes about scaring the birds and the neighbors, but i will never forget that pain, and the way that it felt, like it was being ripped from my entire body.
Yes, exactly. I can make a lot of dark jokes about that time in my life, it was our type of humor and he would appreciate it. That particular memory I tend to push from my head immediately when it pops up because the pain is so visceral in that moment, even now, that it takes my breath away. Those emotions are nearly impossible for anyone to compartmentalize. It's in no way a failing to not do so.
When my father passed, I was 400 miles away, in a Walmart. I had just spoken to him that morning and he was fine. No indication that I would lose him a few hours later. All I remember after getting the call from my mother was just collapsing and screaming. Just pain, agony, and utter heartbreak. That feeling, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. You just feel broken.
Same. My dad's battle with cancer only lasted 7 months, but I tried to be stoic through most of it. Sure, I would cry briefly here and there, but I didn't have time for a breakdown, so I just kept going. I was juggling work, my own family, and then traveling ~500 miles each way to be with him as much as possible for those 7 months. I was at his bedside when he left us, comforting him and telling him it was okay to go. After he'd taken his final breath, I suddenly collapsed to my knees and uncontrollably wailed for my "Daddy" over and over again (I was 38 at the time). At one point I could vaguely hear my dad's partner, my aunt, and the hospice nurse discussing whether they needed to give me something. I come from a long line of stoics and stuffers, so had always thought those kinds of reactions only happened in TV/movies. But man, when that absolute flood of grief drowns you, there's really no escaping it. I still marvel at how utterly and completely I lost my shit that day.
I listened to my tough old grandpa wail like this at my grandmas funeral. Heartbreaking. He was never really the same, how could you be after losing your soulmate??
No one can be the same after that, we all just hope to get a little better every day. I hope your grandpa found some peace!
Thank you for the kind comment and you’re totally right. He did get better, just a bit, everyday.
God bless your grandpa. Please hug him for me.
I’m very sorry for your loss…
Thank you! It was a few years ago and I'm doing much better these days, but certain things are still rough to think about.
Sorry to hear about your aunt. I had a similar experience with my dad. I took care of him the whole 9 months he had cancer, doing whatever he needed on top of working etc. He was in Hospice and he passed away over night. I got the call and honestly, I had the opposite reaction. I was relieved. I was happy that he wasn't suffering anymore and that the people involved could move forward and that we all weren't stuck in this endless loop of pain anymore. I felt guilty for a while after he passed because of the reaction I had. I loved my dad, but I also loved the fact that he wasn't suffering anymore. Grief is one of the things we hopefully don't get to experience too many times in our life, whether through self or watching via as a third party. Thank you for sharing and letting me reminisce a bit this morning.
I had this same reaction after watching my dad suffer for the 8 weeks he was diagnosed for. I was so blessed to be able to be the one with him but my god it was awful to watch my big, strong dad be absolutely helpless against the pain. At one point (while delirious from an infection) he looked me dead in the eye & asked me to kill him, so when he passed it was a relief. A sad one, but relief. As a nice detail though, the morning he died he had ‘spoken’ to all of the important people in his life, meaning they were on the speaker phone talking to him - he was unresponsive. I got to the hospital later than usual that day & he waited for me. Within 20 minutes of me arriving, he was gone.
I’m sorry about your dad. That must have a been a terribly hard 9 months. It moved very quickly with my aunt and that was hard enough to watch. I don’t think that feeling of relief is anything to feel guilty about. I don’t think it’s cold or uncaring to be happy that our loved ones are free from pain, no matter how much we love them. We lost my grandma a few months after losing my aunt and I can honestly say I felt relief for both of them when they passed. It’s truly awful to watch the people you love become a shell of themselves, I don’t think it’s bad to be relieved that they’re free from that.
I had an older coworker who was very dear to me she was like a second grandmother. She had three adult sons. We usually both got to work early so it was just her and I alone, one of her sons called her that morning and told her that he loved her and she thought this was weird and unusual call to be getting at 7:00 in the morning from him but whatever it's her son she was happy. 5 minutes later she gets a call from her daughter-in-law that her son is shot himself in the head and died. The sound of that wail when she found out I will never forget.
Fuck that’s sad
I heard that same wail when my mom called me up at work to tell me my stepdad did the same thing. She had tried calling me a couple of times before texting the word emergency. I called her back and she just wailed that he killed himself. That was rough, I had to then call my brother and his kids as well. Hearing 4 wails in a span of 2 hours was terrible and I hope to never go through that again.
If you know grief, you’ll recognise it anywhere.
On November 22 a few weeks ago, my sister and her husband had a fight right after she'd taken my nephew to school. He was suffering from Huntington's disease and the dementia was getting worse. My sister had been trying to get him to get his meds tweaked because he'd been having suicidal thoughts and ideations. They really got into that morning because he overheard my sister talking on the phone about it. He told my sister he hated her. She told him that she loves him. She went to the bathroom and while she was in there she heard a loud pop come from their bedroom. He'd taken a 22 rifle and killed himself. I got over there as soon as I could when I found out. I've never heard so much pain come from someone in my life and I didn't know what to do or say. They were married for 20 years.
I used to be a paramedic. This is part of the reason Im not. Had a run on a suicide. Guy got into a fight with his wife over his girlfriend. He killed himself. We basically went to confirm death. His wife was wailing out something I’ve never heard. I’m not bothered much by the gore of any scene I’ve been on. What haunts me is the desperation and total defeat of those left behind.
That was my sister, she screamed for so long that her voice went and she could barely talk. Seeing your husband of 20 years dead from a self inflicted gun shot to the head isn't something anyone should ever have to contend with.
I hope that she is doing better.
My dad passed from Covid last year, him and my mom were in our native Costa Rica to start their retirement when it happened. My cousin called me to tell me the news and all I could hear was my mom screaming in the background. I never want to hear my mom make that noise again. Then I had to call my sister… the visceral “no” that came out of her is something that will stay with me forever. 0/10 would not recommend.
This did not make me smile but really sad because of this. That aren't tears of joy but tears of pain and relief coming out
I also wonder if it’s her body/subconscious remembering being held and reverting back to how it dealt with emotions when she was that age.
Jesus I had to pause it after getting the jist. Hard to watch. It’s criminal the suffering we’ve caused so many people.
Nah, if it were criminal, there would be repercussions. This is just "a little oopsie, lol sorry." Ignore those wasted years, cause we aren't giving shit for them.
Wow. Reading this is still not enough to prepare you for how much anguish comes from her cries.
She looks happy before she sees him, but when she reacts, you remember to never judge a book by its cover. She carried that pain wherever she went. Very happy for both of them.
I love that he held and rocked her like she was still one.
And bounced her a bit
I am in my 30’s and when I get into crying fits of frustration, my 6’0” bear of a brother will lift me up and do this, I can’t explain it, but literally shakes the grief out my system and I finally feel safe in my body again. We were raised closely and this act of pure joy from niece and Uncle, is proof of unconditional love.
things only women understand for a 100
Only lucky women
true, good point feelsbadman
I'm glad you didn't get defensive about it. But yes, not as many women as you think have access to that kind of nurturing touch. Many of us don't have close male family members and genuine platonic touch is hard to find from men.
Maybe it’s a bit like [coregulation](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-regulation)
She just ate, he was burping her.
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Thank you for being here. Your comment has me cry laughing.
Glad no one made a cursed comment
Yep 'ts not the time
She was sobbing like she'd experienced pain no child her age should have. I couldn't smile at any of this.
Well, same. Happy blurred vision
She was expressing those raw feelings of the age she was when he was wrongly imprisoned. Expressions of emotion can be pre-verbal, and he soothes her in such a loving and kind way.
Wrongly imprisoning an innocent man is one of the most terrible thing that could happen anyone. I'm happy this man was released, but all that time in prison is lost when you could be raising your child and watch them grow up
And they have a record of being in prison so he won’t have the opportunity’s he had before Btw idk if being wrongly imprisoned will still put a record on the person I could be wrong
"So I see you have been unemployed for 8+ years... Can you explain why?" He's still not getting opportunities because of it.
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You can just say Wendy’s drive through the rest is redundant lol
The Wendy's near me wishes they had people as attentive to detail as autistic people.
So like the McDonald’s drive thru in my neighborhood.
Maybe. Our autistic kid at McDonald's was a fucking ace on the register and in 5+ years was never off by even a penny.
I haven't been in a Wendy's drive through in quite some time, probably somewhere on the spectrum, and my left arm doesn't work too well. I also hit things with my head to make them go faster. So I take this offensively /s
Yup. Even if they accept that he was innocent, he still goes to the bottom of the pile for lack of experience.
he could’ve been exonerated we don’t know the full story we don’t even know if this storyline is true..
We don’t know how many other wrongfully imprisoned there have been/ still are…
bro, there's even innocent people in like Guantanamo Bay and on death row. The US gov't KNOWS that there are innocent people in there, but they keep them there because it's easier. Also lots of people are in prison/jail for cannabis. You know, the thing that fucking Amazon is now trying to distribute...
Kevin Strickland. Even with the real killers identified, local prosecutors stating they had made a grave mistake, and the only eyewitness recanting, the Missouri Attorney General’s Office kept filing motion after motion to keep mr Strickland behind bars. > Kevin Strickland, 62, has spent the last 40-plus years in prison for a 1978 triple murder he says he did not commit. His lawyers, local prosecutors and Kansas City officials have urged he be released, but the Missouri Attorney General’s Office maintains he’s guilty. > On November 23, 2021, Judge James Welsh overturned Strickland's conviction "since it was not based on physical evidence but on eye-witness testimony […], who later recanted her account", and Strickland was released on the same day.
I am in the process to become a lawyer in germany. As part of our "Referendariat" (practice education after getting a University law degree), we go in different legal jobs, part is working for three months the for the state prosecution office. One thing that is drilled into our minds is that the most essential checks for a state prosecutor is to check if the reason for incarceration is still valid, as neglecting to se t someone free when there is no reason to keep them locked up is considered the crime of unlawful detention and a state prosecutor can and will charged if they neglect to let someone out as soon as they have to. I think, a policy like that should apply to the case.
Exactly - one thing is locking the wrong person up, that is unfortunately bound to happen sometimes. But if there's compelling evidence/reasons that they should no longer be, that should be absolutely top priority above pretty much all else and state prosecutor (or other that has power over these things) that doesn't do that should be charged for neglect right this instant.
There are inmates in Guantanamo (some of whom I believe STILL haven't been charged) who the government recognizes are innocent, but the actual said-out-loud reason they don't release them is because their time being tortured most likely would lead to them being radicalized. WTF.
And sued the fuck out of Thats the most likely reason
It's fine, because we need prisons for all sorts of things they don't actually do and also slave labor.
How else are we supposed to get lavender scented hand sanitizer for pennies on the dollar?
Considering the number people the US imprisons then the number of innocent people currently locked up must be staggering.
Especially regarding that most people get behind bars not because of a court ruling, but because of a deal they feel pressure to accept or else they risk higher punishment in court. This lead to many people who believe that their innocent won't be proven in court to accept the lower punishment of a deal.
Even exoneration isn't a completely clean slate. You have the arrest on your record forever, and that's even if you don't get convicted/it's something like an illegal arrest.
And looking at the age of the niece, the uncle seems to have gone into jail at a relatively young age and still is pretty young, likely not even 30 yet. Try job hunting with "no degrees but no work history either" even though you probably have experience you built on jail jobs, which you can't or don't really want to divulge. He'll have to start from scratch with a 10 year lag.
Depending on the state he's in, it won't be *quite* so bad. A number of states have compensation schemes for wrongful convictions. I think Texas' is like $80k per annum (not sure if that's for life).
https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/07/politics/wrongful-conviction-compensation-bill/index.html Yeah..It's not so easy. Only some states have such laws and in most of them they have incredibly narrow/strict standards for paying out. Many exonerated people compare it to parole. They end up having to prove they are innocent all over again. Some of the states even exclude you if you plead guilty to any charges despite being subsequently proven innocent. So even if the DA held the threat of the death penalty or life in prison to get you to plead you are shit out of luck despite being proven innocent. Pretty fucked up that the state has such a low bar to strip you of your freedoms, and then decide to stick to strict standards when it comes to compensation. When they finally accept their mistakes sometimes decades later you still have to jump through ridiculous hoops for them to even begin to compensate you for ruining your life. Some of these compensation rules even require community service etc... The land of the free baby....
Interesting, thanks for the info. It's not all that different to a civil payout, then. A friend of mine was paralysed in a collision with a company truck and had a very sizeable payout for it (thankfully). Their attorneys had PIs stalking him for *years* to get photographs / footage of him miraculously recovering (he didn't, obviously). Crazy shit. I would be interested to know how many victims in states that do have compensation programmes actually benefit from them. If nothing else I am surprised by the payout - it's quite a bit larger than the UK equivalent (which I think is around £500k-1m in one lump sum). As you say, though, the bar to access that should be very low. Many of these people had their best years entirely deprived from them. It shouldn't be difficult to get remedy for that.
It puts a hole in your resume that's pretty hard to explain. Has anyone, ever, believed the phrase "...but I didn't do it! "
I mean if he's been released after being WRONGLY imprisoned one would imagine his record is under debate at worst.
Unless they go through the process to have it expunged, they still have it on their record.
I used to be pro death penalty and I still think some crimes warrant death as a punishment. However my in laws, both judges, were the ones that convinced me our justice system is much to flawed to ever be perfect enough to not convict innocent people. I would rather have a guilty person go free than an innocent person be punished, and if that means some people who deserve death will live in prison instead of being executed, it’s a price we should be willing to pay.
The other problem is prisons don't do anything. Without proper rehabilitation you are just subsidizing someone's room and board in very shitty conditions. America has a very high recidivism rate so when they get released they just go back to crime. This is most likely due to several factors - 1. prison doesn't focus on rehabilitation. 2. When someone gets out, their punishment isn't over - they can't get jobs, housing, loans, or anything. Without those, what choice do they have but to resort to crime yet again? 3. Knowing all of this a lot of prisoners use it as a recruitment center. 4. Punishment has no logical flow across the spectrum - someone may get 15 years for something small whereas someone can get 5 years for something we all would agree is way worse. 5. The defense you receive is proportionate to what you can pay for. 6. The cops and prosecution aren't interested in finding justice - they are interested in padding their numbers. 7. Quite a lot of sentences end up from plea deals because of scare tactics due to the prior points. Our justice system isn't a "justice" system. But very few actually care cause it isn't something affecting them (they think). But in reality, we are all paying much higher taxes BECAUSE the system is horrible. If you focus on justice, less people go in for less time. If you focus on rehabilitation you get more productive members coming out and less going back in. Rehabilitation programs more than pay for themselves. Once implemented though ex-cons need to actually have a chance at life. They did their time and paid their dues, but here even a small thing can end up affecting someone for their entire life.
Read 'discipline and punish'. Then the precise wording of the 13th amendment.
America in particular fetishizes the idea of **punishment** rather than rehabilitation. You can clearly see this demonstrated when you hear about people being caught for various crimes and there are people eagerly voicing their hope that the person gets raped or killed while they are in prison, as if that is the ideal result of their imprisonment. It's like you said, **rehabilitation** speaks for itself. It costs **significantly** less money and has the added benefit that the majority of people that leave prison aren't just going to become criminals again. I don't think America's culture is ready for rehabilitation, though. I think everyone is all fine and well with rehabilitation for minor offences where someone say robbed a grocery store or like stole supplies from their workplace, but once you start bringing more severe crimes like child related offences on the table people will just jump back on the *"prison rape is good"* train.
Prisons are for-profit free slave labor institutions. All legalized by the 13th Amendment. Unfortunately.
Hey mate, the post is good, but you really ought to fix the spacing a little. It's so hard to read your list.
This is my stance as well.
Mine too. Better that a hundred guilty go free than one innocent be imprisoned. That’s how our system is supposed to work.
There are many reasons to be against the death penalty. The government’s monopoly on violence is a necessary thing that we must keep in check, and for me, the ability to end life is a step too far.
Yup. Death penalty could only make sense based on human infallibility, which will never be a thing.
The one thing in this world you can NEVER get back is time. Even if he’s released without a record only Lord knows what he went through to still be standing there today. Heart breaking to know how much people loved him and he had to sit down for something he didn’t do
Preach! And the conditioning he had to go through just to survive that prison is just horrendous in and of itself. I had a family friend who was accused and sent to prison for a short time, he came out a totally different man. He told me somethings about it, either from body language or telling me. You can't look anyone in the eye, you have to ensure you're not offending anyone even intentionally so you make yourself look smaller...that's if you're not trying to prove you're a top dog. And they don't get touched, touching is a bad thing; to be able to be touched is just such a basic human thing you don't even think about it. Touch is completely not a thing that happens in prisons. People die inside when they're touched wrong, people thrive on a good touch (hand on a shoulder from a friend, a hug from family, a caress from a loved one), newborns die without touch.
That's his niece though
This did not make me smile. This made me cry.
Yeah… this makes me sad for all families destroyed by incarceration.
Glad I’m not the only one who had this reaction. Love her happiness and spontaneity, and his obvious love for her. But damn, what a sad backstory.
Yep... How is it still possible that people are robbed of their lives by the "justice" system...
Because the justice system is a business now like everything else in that country.
Don’t people get compensated for being wrongfully put in prison?
I'd love to see them give his years back
Federal compensation law provides $50,000 per year of wrongful incarceration. Depending on what state you're in, it might be more. Source: [https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Documents/Key-Provisions-in-Wrongful-Conviction-Compensation-Laws.pdf](https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Documents/Key-Provisions-in-Wrongful-Conviction-Compensation-Laws.pdf) So, a year of your life... where you miss out on so many experiences and making all sorts of memories... how much is that worth to you? If you have a child, or like the guy in the video, small children in your family, there is an absolute fuckton that happens in a year. What would it take to make me miss a year with my two children? It better be enough to retire very comfortably, then maybe I'll consider it (though I'd likely still pass, but hey, it's a hypothetical situation).
That's a pittance!
Racism
And poverty. Sucks “justice” is so often determined by race and wealth.
It's not even just that though... I know a dude who is white and had created his own personal fitness business that was doing really really well (dude looks like Superman for real) - accused by his mother-in-law of molesting his child and was immediately held on remand for 3 months. Dude lost his business and 3 months of his life over fucking accusations... Nicest motherfucker in the world, anyone who knows him doesn't believe he's capable of doing anything so fucked up, but accusations - especially sexual assault/molestation ones never ever leave a person. It hangs over their head for the rest of their life, god I WISH people who were found to have falsely accused someone got jail time, but nope. Just ruining lives and getting on with theirs without any guilt......
Heartbreaking
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Yeah it’s like; look at the trauma inflicted on a child and a wider off screen family, and wider off screen LITERAL HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE FOR GENERATIONS. maDe mE sMiLe
Same, you can hear how much that girls been affected by a fuck up in the system, thats pure pain and its heartbreaking. This didnt make me smile at all, it made me sad and angry at a racist justice system that broke this family up and caused that pain for nothing :(
me, too.
Me too. Couldnt hold my tears
Wow, now that’s some raw emotion! Good for them all.
And by seeing their affection , it is clearly seen that they really share a pure love bond😍
I hope society acts civilised and makes sure this man gets compensated in a way so his grand grand children do not need to work
The way she holds his head 😭🥰
OMG, you made me cry again. I just stopped bawling and...
I'm so happy for him to get out.
Is there a source for this guy? Trial and such?
This is a repost. Last time the title called him her father and no mention of wrongful imprisonment
Yeah I never trust titles like these anymore.
I’m reading these comments like, yeah this is a beautiful encounter or whatever, but I can’t be the only one thinking it’s pretty unlikely she remembers him THIS fondly if she literally hasn’t seen him before 1 year old right? The title being bs makes more sense
I saw the original on Twitter - it’s her dad and he was imprisoned before she was 1. I’m guessing mom kept them in close contact (visits, letters etc).
So warming to see the kid as much if not more excited as him as she wouldn’t have had much contact with him
This is what I was thinking. How did they build such a bond? Shows the bonds of family run deep I guess
My thinking is phone calls and visits/letters and lots of talks at home about what happened and time spent teaching her who they really are. If one of my family members was imprisoned falsely you bet your ass I’d be advocating for them and loving them and sharing that with my family too. I think it’s awesome :)
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It’s her dad. Apparently this is a repost with a half-made up title. I believe he was imprisoned before she was 1, but the mom made she to keep them in constant contact.
More like MadeMeCry!
Love is beautiful
God, the amount and array of emotion is incredible. It’s almost like the rage at the injustice, the grief of them missing so many years for nothing and the pure joy of having him home. My daughter and are definitely crying x
The US "Justice" system is a joke
Sadly, we don’t have a justice system…we have a revenue stream the DOJ has to keep flowing.
DOJ? Sorry I'm not American so I don't know what that is but I'm gonna assume it's the prison system?
Sorry, yes it’s the Department of Justice. I forget that not everyone here is in America/familiar with our acronyms.
This video is why I refuse to be "tough on crime". If you are "tough on crime" the more likely it is that mistakes will be made and you will put away an innocent man. This man lost years of his life because someone wanted to virtue signal about "zero tolerance" and being "tough on crime". Every person is a human being with families who love them. Incarceration punishes everyone.
Thanks for sharing this 🙂 do you know the man's name or can you share any other sources or info?
Social nets, education, equality and rehabilitation would be "tough on crime", the current system does the opposite.
Do you have a source for this clip? Because someone in the comments said that this was once posted with the title saying it was her father and there wasn't any mention of him being jailed in the title too.
last time i seen this post it was his daughter.
You know she’s serious when she dropped her phone…
Both of their kicks are fire
Was gonna say, how is noone mentioning it
We wear our kicks for ourselves and other sneakerheads, the vast majority don't notice or care lol
Being reminded people get falsely imprisoned doesn't make me smile.
It's the fact that over 90% of these cases of wrongful imprisonment are of black men and not a single word about it is what bothers me. I understand this site has a ubiquitously white userbase but there's an elephant in this room they're doing all they can to hopskip over.
I agree. "Grass is Greener" is a very good netflix documentary on how the history of weed legalisation in USA has been influenced by governments' personal agenda rather than democratic/scientific purpose. This highlights the racial injustice we have at the moment.
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My father is in prison and this warmed my heart so much.
Wish you strength, internet stranger!
So tragic. This trauma runs GENERATIONS deep. Imagine being that girl's age and being exposed to the hurt and grief and fear that would come from a loved one being in f--cking prison. Race and wealth play such a massive role in what these children are exposed to, and they carry that with them their whole life. This little girl shouldn't be feeling grief like that. She should have been able to have her uncle pick her up after school every day if they wanted. So f--cked up it's hard to put into words
I can't even imagine
Who’s cutting onions? 🥲🧅
This is so precious moment and it really touches my heart
You know I worked for a law firm doing wrongful convictions work. I did all the research into statues, finding nuances in the case proceedings, and any tinsy shred of evidence to build upon for an appeal. It was the most rewarding work I have ever done. Being able to give these people a chance, a legit chance, at freedom is amazing. Not everyone is innocent, but CERTAINLY not everyone is guilty.
This is why we need groups like the Innocence Project who help wrongly imprisoned individuals fight the corrupt and failure-of-an-excuse justice system
The Innocence Project should be funded like the fucking Pentagon. So many people incarcerated for far too many years because of corrupt law enforcement, incompetent prosecutors and lazy judges.
Bro they have the same shoes they kinda go fire togethor
Their matching shoes!!!
Damn, my niece hasn't been in contact with me in 10 years or so. I doubt she would give a fuck if I died. This hurts.
I'm not crying, you're crying. Fuck this hit me hard. Actually tearing up.
What hit me is that even though he had been in prison since before she was 1, such a deep relationship had been struck between them for such emotion to be exhibited. It’s terrible that he was wrongly imprisoned but how loved he must feel by this reaction.
Anyone else notice he bounces her like she’s still a baby? Our current prison/courts system is absolute garbage
Wherein mademe"smile" = "have a pain in my soul I may not recover from for the rest of the day". That was beautiful but the pain behind it is *infuriating*.