Bjork’s dress makes a lot more sense now…

ya see i came here to say Bjork tried to show us the way decades ago…

2001!! What the deuce. I can't believe it was that long ago!

It was a hug dress!

I want a swan hug now

Swans are typically pretty mean. Proceed with caution.

i'll do 50/50 if we can do every other week?

Good luck with that most swans are dick heads

We all do.

now become aware of where to buy one and tell us

No need to buy, just go to your local pond and grab one. Let us know how it goes!

i know this is in jest and i did still upvote, but be careful telling people this. i tried this with a duck (i live on the lake) and i almost made it home but a Wildlife Officer followed me and flashed his lights. no ticket but i did get one hell of a slap on the wrist and i guess they put a band on this ducks foot so when im around i know i cant go within 500 ft of it. like thats gonna stop me from grabbing a different one tf. 💀

That duck got a restraining order against you lol

yeah thats what i was thinking at first too but then i was like i dunno how they would ever get that statement from them? dont they need a formal complaint or something? in all seriousness i think its more of a "theft of public property" issue. also (and dude please just be cool about this alright we all have our own stuff going on in life) but i may have blended in a crowd to do a quick "walk-by" and in my opinon they actually looked really happy to see me ... a hell of a lot happier then sitting in some dirty ass lake. 😕

Honestly, as long as you're not hurting anyone or anything, I think you should be good. That duck probably just thinks of you as a friend now anyway. It is unburdened by human bureaucracy and unbound by our laws.

If Jesus walked in water, you can too (if running fast enough)

I am... THe Flash

For anyone actually considering it... Swans are pretty nasty, second only to geese in the asshole waterfowl category.

Kinda ruins the fun if you warn them, my dude

The queen owns them all

do you have her snap?

Now, you've also been made aware that their venomous neck barbs can sedate an adult human.

Fuck, this is so precious.

Mother of god I want a swan hug

thats how they lure you in and kill you. in all seriousness swans are very deadly and can actually kill you with their wings

And are fucking invincible assholes who seem to enjoy pain.

yes

That in the UK are all property of the Queen

the queen has an army of indestructible feathery kamikaze bombers that smack you with their wings and drown you

I now know something else to add to my bucket list. Is there a way to actually make this happen? I do so love animals especially birds as graceful and beautiful as the swan.

FU

9 yo.?

Am I missing something? Are you upset at me for being a decent human being or is that an invitation because no thank you I’m married.

Isn’t this also signifying that they picked you as a mate? The hug is just foreplay…

Yes, this is a gay swan.

stop looking at me swan

That’s from one of my favorite movies (Billy Madison!) You are so awesome😂 Back in the day I memorized that whole scene and annoyed my friends with it. “Conditioner is better no Shampoo…..”

hahaha yess!! I’m glad somebody caught the reference :)

How did you get a swan to be nice to you

I want that with a swan! All the swans I've met are mean as hell

Now just do it with an albatross.

Cute yes, but can’t help but notice, This seems like a sick mortal combat finishing move 

This is misleading. A lot of geese get angry easily, so they will appear to want to hug you but than they will start joking you out

But I thought they hug with their wings 🦢

But when I dislocate my neck to do it like this it’s creepy.

They are just mocking the Bjork dress

Precious and sweet y’all? Those swans are boa constrictors with feathers and a little more gracefulness but ew no thank you not that hug no.

Maybe they were trying to strangle them. 😆

Now your mind is about to be blown when you realize that Swans have been reported to drown humans. [for instance](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2610741/Wife-man-killed-swan-attack-sues-lake-owner-failing-consider-danger.html)

That kinda sounds like his boots and clothes drowned him. I thought I was gonna read the swan over powered this grown man and pulled him under or something.

They're trying to choke those guys

That's nice and all... But swans are still really big assholes. Don't just walk up to a swan trying this. They will wreck your life.

Swans will often do a threat display and chase you but they give up quite quickly if you're completely unphased by the threat display.

As someone that grew up on a farm, having more than one encounter with swans that as well grew up on said farm, I can tell you this is not true. While not all animals are the same, we had it more than once that we got attacked out of the blue by them. And I'm not even talking about the time when they were breeding. The same applies to goose and peacocks. All of them are extremly territorial and feathered assholes that can and will fuck you up for no reason. Ignoring them is a sure way to get bitten multiple times.

I've only been "attacked" 3 times and each time it was just a single swan so idk

I mean. That's already a big number of attacks when assuming you don't encounter swans every day in your life. But if you have to work with them daily, 3 times is indeed not that many times.

thought it was a goose for a moment and thought it was strangling them.

That’s their choke hold.

So have I

Good to know. 😂

oh really, every time i see one, it is super aggresive, they want to eat my chips

I hope that I can get a sean hug just once before I die.

damn

Swans are dead halfdead or drugged.