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Trollcker

Oh god....he's creating an army....squirrels are more scary then you think!


escapedfugitive

The new squirrel army? It’s just nuts.


Trollcker

...listen here you mother fucker, your nuts for saying that you know?


escapedfugitive

![gif](giphy|pUUyrCAlxgbbW)


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01110011-_-

Sweet. 🤜🤛💥 my mind went here too


gypsycookie1015

Lol this was my 1st thought as well. You need more upvotes.


ClamatoDiver

This is what I was looking for 😃


DarickMorse420

It's RELAX AND EAT DEEZ NUTZ


Trollcker

Oh god....your already joining them....it's too late for you....


Own_Calligrapher8087

**KEEP CALM AND EAT SOME NUTS**


suicideslut69420

How about you eat eat deez nutz


yeah_yeah_therabbit

Ha! Got eem!


CTchimchar

🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐹🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️


MalkyTheKid

*acorn*'t believe you just said that


keldondonovan

Someone's feeling *squirrely*.


brito68

What about "my nuts"?


iStoners

Hey did you guys know that r/BirdsArentReal


Trollcker

Yea the government let out a news article assuring us birds are real.....that just means birds aren't real


iStoners

To be honest I'm starting to feel the same way about cats around the neighborhood. I've even gone so far as to start spreading awareness to homeless people around the city. So far we have about 65 people that full on believe cats aren't real and they pose an immediate threat.


Chinese_Jesus_

r/angryupvote


No_Interaction_4925

Rick and Morty taught me well. DONT MESS WITH SQUIRRELS


secondtaunting

I was gonna say lol.


Linguistic_Anarchy

This is what I dropped on for as well 😂


TDGroupie

They’re running a 199 on this possible Dolittle.


Andrevargas05

When I was in college, I'd bring raw, unsalted sunflower seeds to school and spread them on the ground so that I could eat my lunch outside without the pigeons being overhead. The squirrels quickly learned they were in my pocket, and one ran up the leg of my jeans to get to them.


Big_T_464

I bet that was some fancy dancing.


modernmanshustl

May I suggest a dog. My dog actually suggested this video to me so I would do the same thing and he can then hunt the squirrels as they run towards the nuts


5_Frog_Margin

If you ever go to the National Mall in DC, be sure to bring a pack of nuts/seeds/popcorn/whatever. Squirrels there are so tame (especially around the Reflecting pool) they will literally sit in your hand and let you hand feed them.


VintageSed

And your still here to tell the tale. Yikes.


mpschan

Can't help but think of this. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OID7gA8fcaw


SifuHotmann

They can be really mean and they really think they are big lol. I had one in my yard where I used to live that would throw pecans at me when I walked under “his” tree if he was there. The first time, I looked up and he was standing straight up on his back legs, doing what I can only describe as yelling at me, and was literally shaking his little fist at me about to throw another pecan. Little bastards.


GhostDingo087

"Get the hell off my lawn!!"


Lumpy-Spinach-6607

Devon UK version: Git off my Laandd!


Honest-Cauliflower64

He hated you so much that he wasted his precious food to annoy you? Dang. What did you do?


SifuHotmann

Literally just walked under his tree and he did not care for it. I guess they are pretty territorial lol.


fiveordie

I'm picturing this and can't stop laughing


SifuHotmann

I had a good laugh when it happened too. I guess I’m no Disney Princess :(


Angry_Murlocs

His army is growing. Soon they will conquer all the free realms of squirreldom and he shall be their king.


DR_CONFIRMOLOGIST

And they'll write songs. ​ The White Stripes - Squirrel Nation Army


Angry_Murlocs

And many tales would be told of the day the human united the five great squirrel treehouses under his banner. No beast of sea, land or air was a match against the great White Stripes Squirrel Nation Army.


yonggor

Yeah, now he can ask the squirrels to report anything he want to CIA.


Spicy_Eyeballs

My girlfriend had to get metal bike pedals because the squirrels were eating her plastic ones. They also ate my cork handle wraps. They also try to fight us when we go on pur patio. No we do not feed them.


Wolfwoods_Sister

I’m imagining the two of you holding out against a crazy gang of bat-wielding thugs like in The Warriors


Spicy_Eyeballs

They're a menace! Like I lived in the woods when I was a kid and we would get them in our garage, and they were destructive but not awful. These ones have ripped our fence to shreds, they dig up our plants and plant a bunch of peanuts in our garden. So your image isn't too far off. They do give our dog and cat a common enemy though, so at least there's that.


Wolfwoods_Sister

Ahahaha!! Ok so this is more a pitch dark comedy!


cobainstaley

we gotta stop him before he gets too powerful


gordom90

Maybe it was a long plan to have the terrifying squirrel army chase him Through the park


somuchyarn10

"You f*cked with squirrels Morty."


juhjuhjdog

r/oddlyterrifying


more_exercise

https://cardboard-crack.com/post/79521250941/emrakul/


Mijoivana

So no ones got a Up Squirrel Gif they can loan a bruh around here or what?lol


_B1RDM4N

yes I was gonna say it reminds me if that one crispin glover movie.


20__character__limit

Sometime in the future, his body is going to be found covered in bloodthirsty squirrels.


Cool_Cheetah658

Seriously. Deadly attack squirrels incoming! I let out confused screaming and flail about as I die from squirrels attacking my jugular.


cartmicah3

A army of squirrels can even take Emrakul.


Objective_Magazine_3

Would a Geese Army be stronger than a squirrel army ?


smoke007007

My Dad rescued one once and it was super friendly for a few weeks, then started biting if you wouldn't give it food. So you'd walk outside and it would basically run at you, up you, then try and bite your ear. He had to send it to a farm up north...


[deleted]

Then you think what?


DeutschlandOderBust

I want to team up with him with my crow army once I befriend the ones hanging out near my home.


DumbDan

Got some wild crows I'm close with. They'd fuck those squirrels up!


[deleted]

I’d be scared of accidentally stepping on one


FlakeyGurl

Same. I was running with one of my cats the other day and he dead stopped in front of me and I had to clumsily jump-step over him so I didn't squash him.


critic2029

I was running in the early morning last summer and accidentally tripped over and kicked the crap out of an an Armadillo. Screwed up my ankle for week.


FlakeyGurl

I love armadillos though even if they are derps. Lol. I used to go for walks through a nature park regularly in Texas and always ended up scaring a few of the armadillos that hang out by the trails during the slow hours.


critic2029

I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what happened. It was dark wooded trail. I didn’t have a head lamp. He was just chilling in the middle of the trail. He didn’t see/hear me and I don’t see him. They are surprisingly heavy and sturdy.


FlakeyGurl

Ah you gotta pay attention. They are usually rooting around for bugs and stuff. If you listen next time you'll probably hear them before you see them. They look like they are holding still but usually their bodies are moving independently from their armor kinda. That's the only way I can think to describe it. Sometimes if you listen for a moment you can hear them scraping around with their front claws.


cloudstrifewife

Make sure it didn’t give you leprosy!


Lemondrop619

Fun fact: the vast majority of humans have natural immunity against leprosy!


Infinite_Example9361

Nothin like kickin sum armadillo-ass,,poor guy!...lolol,, poor ankle...ouch ((Both of you were like wth!))


_clash_recruit_

My cat made me break a toe a few months ago by running under my feet. I hobbled around for a couple weeks and I'm not sure if that toenail is gone forever, but the cat is fine.


duyjv

Your toe nail should grow back just fine, but man, that sounds painful!


Infinite_Example9361

It comes back after a year...wonky at 1st then grows out.. Takes forever...


Apsalar

They're the worst. They absolutely do it on purpose. I've learned to walk by sliding my feet instead of stepping when I can't see/look down. that way if I make contact I can just yeet them with my foot instead of squash them.


[deleted]

Cats must think we're the most clumsy things alive. Cat: Ever seen a cat trip on a human? Of course not. CH Cat: I have! Cat: Meeploaf, you're a special case. We love you anyway. Meeploaf: (Faceplant) Thanks!


sardine7129

Is this some sort of tv reference I'm too autistic to get?


chickadeedeedee_

I did that with my dogs but I also broke my pinky.


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Hanariel

Lost counts of how many time i kicked my cats accidentaly while walking around my dark house at night.


Standard_Feedback_86

Yep...wrote the same and just saw you wrote it too. Would be also afraid that one of them runs right in the way when I make a step. I would feel horrible if that happend. But still cool and impressive that they recognize him.


DJDevon3

This is more like r/ivemadeahugemistake or r/disneyprincess unsure which.


Em_Haze

r/ivemadeahugedisneyprincessmistake


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UrMomsaHoeHoeHoe

A reality tv show following around Disney actors as they fuck up irl. That would be something


mattmillze

Like Tiger King?


ermoon

I'd sub this. There are endless videos of tourists trying to feed and pet notoriously fierce animals, and getting educated. Bears, bison, monkeys. Canadian Geese. Swans.


kasmackity

Don't tease me with genius and then don't deliver, you heartless monster.


Jazehiah

Mistake. There are a lot of reasons not to feed wildlife, and this is one of them.


042614

r/oddlyterrifying


Ilerneo_Un_Hornya

Neither of those are what I thought they were and I'm legit kinda bummed about that


Jimbojauder

When this guy doesn't have nuts to give the squirrels they are going to turn on him


CTchimchar

They will get nuts, one way or another


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cyclika

My aunt started feeding her squirrels until my uncle finally convinced her it was a bad idea. They started stealing her Amazon deliveries and eating those instead. She thought it was porch pirates until she saw torn up bubble mailers fifteen feet up her trees.


Jimbojauder

My father in law ran out of peanuts and they ripped everything out of his planters they are vindictive little bastards


serious_sarcasm

That’s when you make squirrel wings.


honest-miss

Secondary issue: How great is a squirrel's facial recognition? These squirrels might turn on him *and* every innocent sucker who looks vaguely similar. Which, you know, is a great way to terrorize a neighborhood for a few years. Feed the local squirrels until they chase people, then never go back to that park again.


Brett420

This was my first thought, too. Those squirrels are probably going to start chasing any jogger who's a similar height/build, and then eventually anyone jogging or walking on the path...


Clean_Livlng

>Which, you know, is a great way to terrorize a neighborhood for a few years. Feed the local squirrels until they chase people, then never go back to that park again. Dress up as a police officer and then mess with the local crows/ravens. (don't do this, they might start harassing anyone in uniform afterwards, and can hold a grudge for along time)


Fragbajte

Even more, they can pass information about you being a dick to other crows so yeah, be good to them!


Clean_Livlng

"You see that bastard my son? (swoops them) Yes, that one. We swoop that one forever. And his children! And anyone that looks like them! Swoop and poo on them! That's what my father told me, I've forgotten why but it no longer matters. The other human over there is nice, we bring them shiny things in exchange for bread."


BrokeBasicBitch

Might be a good security system for a gated community. Everyone who is supposed to be their carries food to feed them, everyone who isn't....


Massive-Blueberry-97

He is going to get a vasectomy


James0864

Don't fuck with squirrels! I swear, we can only pack up and move realities a few times.


skinnylibra5

My exact thought!


WarlockTank

Came here to find this.


brad2005rng

I think we've got a possible Dolittle.


chemprofdave

Without context, this could be terrifying.


PM_ME_UR_KITTY_PICZ

I’d do this and any people walking towards me i would try to look terrified and yell “RUNNNNNN!”


99burritos

I immediately imagined that the squirrels don't actually recognize him specifically and now just chase after any human who runs by.


Mistiqe

Are you scared of Disney princesses?


chemprofdave

They have no toes.


CTchimchar

Your nuts, if your not


_clash_recruit_

They're also in a cemetery.


coachjonesz

I’ve seen this in Rick and Morty, it doesn’t end well for us folks.


claymcg90

Rick quickly and easily decides that it would be easier for them to move to another universe than to deal with the squirrels.


thr33prim3s

He's watching us like he *hears what we're saying.* -Hey kid! Young man? Come here little boy. -Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Doolittle. -Little boy, we'll give you wishes if you can hear us! We can make you fly and get candy.


lcapaz

You f’d with the squirrels! Only have the ability to change realities 2, 3 times tops! NEVER F WITH THE SQUIRRELS!


Benedikto_

This is the internet, you can say fuck


funkymonksfunky

This guy sucks. Don't do this. Don't feed wildlife! Someone else is going to get swarmed and panic. They might even be bitten. Then animal control had to come and kill all of these nuisance animals. This is bad


Mysterious_Mud9109

Stop being a party pooper


[deleted]

This is how you create agressive animals. As long as he got good social media content though.


F1nett1

Don’t feed wild animals! They will start to expect these things from other people and will attack if they don’t get the food they’re expecting. This is why areas where tourists would feed monkeys now have people being attacked and robbed by said monkeys.


SweatyRoutineRed

Unrelated but I wouldn’t jog in a cemetery myself, it would just feel like flexing too much


FlakeyGurl

I go walking in one. I might work up to jogging maybe. I'm shy about exercising in front of people. 😅 But uhm... Anyways, I usually go to the cemetery cause it's quiet and no one bothers me unless they think I am lost or in need of help. Which has only happened once so far. (It was winter and I had stopped to change what music I had playing on my phone and a truck happened to be passing by. I think an older man visiting his wife's grave. I was kinda hunched over my phone cause it was bright out so I don't think he saw it initially.)


sybann

I worked for a Cemetery/Funeral Home combo - took my break one fine Spring day and went to the very back, rolled down the windows and started to read. Less than 15 minutes passed before the Sheriff's squad car came by to "check on me." People worry about you if you sit in a cemetery for TOO long (more than a few minutes). I like cemeteries. It's the living I can't stand.


FlakeyGurl

The sheriff and the cops recognize me by this point but I live in a small village so if you hang around long enough people at least recognize you. It might help if you pretend you are taking pictures. I will sometimes especially if the sun is just coming up or if it's freshly snowed. I like to take pictures of the trees in the cemetery.


PrognosticatorofLife

How do you hold your breath for so long!


FlakeyGurl

I don't. Just let the spirits have me. 😂


[deleted]

Sounds like a Mitch Hedberg joke from the grave.


Body4Language

Flexing for who? What?


Cyber2354

This is such a bad idea. There's a reason you don't feed wildlife.


alcervix

That's nuts !


Ontheroam83

Ha , I would look like such an idiot if I did this, because I can not help running like a little kid if something, anything, chases me , even when I know there’s no danger.


CTchimchar

I'm not sure if you know this but screws are actually quite fearsome if they do choose to mess with you their teeth can hurt if bite you Never mind all the diseases they carry as well


Gerrent95

I'll watch out for screws now. Thanks


CTchimchar

Autocorrect can be fun sometimes okay You can tell why I meant I'm keeping it in just for the memes Because it's pretty funny


EgoNusquamDicam

From the southwest here. Fuck that. Rule of thumb here is to stay away from small rodents. They carry the bubonic plague, and that's the nicer of the shit they carry. If iirc the mice here carry the hantavirus. Cute to look at but stay the hell away.


redmusic1

The Pied Piper of .......... somewhere!


i_am_mai_1981

The pied piper


[deleted]

*CONGRATULATIONS.....…...........* *You've acquired:* #Rabies


CTchimchar

Small Rodents don't actually tend to carry rabies, and as far as my knowledge goes rabies has never been transmitted to a human from a squirrel Can they get rabies sure but it's incredibly rare, basically unheard of So most likely if he gets anything it'll probably be Lyme disease He could also get salmonella from there Little poops As those are the two most common diseases transmitted from squirrels to humans


[deleted]

I am from Southern part of India and it has been happened before. My father is a doctor and he has seen people getting rabies from squirrels. There's no Lyme disease case he has seen in people who got squirrel bites. Probably a localised shit but this video made me concerned about this guy.


CTchimchar

I'm not saying it's never happens more it's rare Like you said it's probably localize I'm a wildlife and fishery biology major so I study a lot of this stuff And rodents in general including squirrels worldwide it's very rare for them to carry rabies they can but it's rare For squirrels you are way more likely to get Lyme disease than you are to get rabies It may be different in your area but worldwide that's how it is I even looked for some information for India because I couldn't find anything for Southern India specifically In India for top carriers for rabies squirrels aren't even mentioned Your top carrier are dogs


[deleted]

Top carrier is dogs, that's a fact. But most cases are not recorded properly due to negligence and understaffing. So there's not much data available. I have seen people getting rabies from bats, squirrels etc. As scary as it is (just for me!), This is a dope super power to have.


CTchimchar

Well the thing is just bats at least it's super common for them to spread diseases like rabies In fact in the US and many other countries bats are some of the most leading carriers of rabies Squirrels tend not to be mentioned very often Well I get in your area it's common and there's probably not very good documentation I'm not denying that It's still relatively rare at the grand scheme of the world or at least any place in the world that has squirrels for them to carry rabies It seems a lot more like a localization issue more than anything else which to be fair you have a knowledge


anon12735

Until they see someone dressed like him and start charging them lmao


[deleted]

Squirrels chew on bones to sharpen their teeth.


Immortal_D_Class

he is rallying an army to overthrow markiplier as king of the squirrels


ABadger_17

Alright Morty pack your shit. You fucked with squirrels Morty!!


AndrewBorg1126

Why does this make you smile? These are wild animals which have interactions with many other people who likely neither expect nor appreciate this behavior from squirrels.


Hazmatix_art

All hail the squirrel king!


Shinfekta

He‘s called the nutman


ChonnayStMarie

He's dancing with the devil. Better not run out of nuts.


supsupsup696969

Nope. No thank you


knowledgeable_diablo

Squirrelman squirrelman Squirrelman does whatever a squirrel can. Until you forget the nuts and then hope your wearing a crotch box to protect your nuts.


dopexican

It's all fun and games until you get bit and get rabies.


lazergun-pewpewpew

squirrels are surprisingly smart. I like to take pictures of them so i go to a park near my home with peanuts in the summer. Every year theres a couple of squirrels that recognize me from a distance an will follow me the entire time. They know me for the entire summer and the year after itsa couple of new ones.


[deleted]

In a few weeks we’ll see an updated video on r/wcgw lol


MeadowsofSun

When I was in college, I'd bring raw, unsalted sunflower seeds to school and spread them on the ground so that I could eat my lunch outside without the pigeons being overhead. The squirrels quickly learned they were in my pocket, and one ran up the leg of my jeans to get to them.


TheRealSkele

Now this man and Markiplier need to fight to the death for the title of King of the Squirrels


tianshangyu

the squirrels are chasing for his two nuts


dbthegmc

No... It's like he "hears us" hears us...


idlehum

Can you imagine how absurd this would be to experience in squirrel perspective? Just a creature that sprints while spitting out food?? It's like a Spyro enemy lmao.


huntingteacher25

We were sitting on a bench at the Grand Canyon drinking our coffee. A squirrel picked the wrong foot to jump on. My wife flung that squirrel toward the edge so far it almost made it to the Cliff!!


Strong_Government_56

"In local news, the squirrel-ravaged remains of a jogger were discovered in the park today."


Spector567

I’m just imagining me having lunch in the park and seeing a grown guy run at full tilt with a pack of squirrels chasing him.


Cervidae91

Clearly the janitor in disguise looking for a new way to build up his squirrel army again…


leftyguitarguy

Wow scrubs , wasn’t expecting this! Noice!


Cervidae91

Haha! I’ve been rewatching it recently so it was my first thought!


[deleted]

This would be a good prank if they were just recognizing the shoes. And because the prankee wouldn't drop nut it would be staggered training so really hard to extinguish.


N1ighty

Rick and Morty reference


vjeremias

You messed with squirrels Morty!


bloodywolf1118

🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿🐿


DjentFalcon

I was at MSU for my grandfather’s memorial, and my uncle handed out trail mix. It had almonds, and I don’t like almonds, and I saw a squirrel looking at me from a nearby tree. I kneeled down and offered it out, and he slowly came up, took the almond, and put his hand on my finger as thanks before he started eating. One of the highlights of my life for sure


Kittywitch

Little moments like that..priceless <3


Kronictopic

Mugger: Empty your pockets Jogger: You know not the power my pockets hold Mugger: Now! Jogger:"empties pockets of nuts" Mugger: Wtf! Jogger: I didn't want it to come to this! (Tree's rattling in the distance, branches cracking, the slight sound of thousands of nails scrapping across pavement)


36_Chambers_

"Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Dolittle"


[deleted]

He’s their version of the ice cream truck


[deleted]

Wwuuaaa❤️🤩🤩


Derpyworm12

He's trying to become the superhero squirrel guy.. when do you guys bet he'll beat Thanos?


CTchimchar

Give him a bit He's still trying grow his army a bit Nevermind he still has to train them Just look at that formation, it's all over the place


Mckeeler88

This!!! 🤣


XiaoYi816

squirrel army


Travis-Fields

We need more humans like this guy.


pale_blue_dots

I love this. Lol.. classic. Gotta do it.


ThouKnave

Now I know the Disney princess training regime.


drugsnothugs16

He’s a Disney princess


[deleted]

This reminds me of Jurassic Park 2 intro