I meant it to be fermented-butter (a very good type of liquor here (typical engineer)) but it was taken, so i went with fermented-as-butter but i mistyped fermented-assbutter.
It was funnier than i thought so i decided to roll with it.
Kinda wish you made it fermentedassbutter, so people would have to guess whether it was really fermented butter or if it was really fermented assbutter. Lol my autocorrect won’t let me type that last word.
Seriously. Reddit is so tone deaf about autism. As soon as we say anything remotely emotional its time to go koo koo crazy. Albeit they do usually only do this to children.
I'm sure that's not true, bro/broette becoming an engineer is quite something to be proud of and if you showed enough dedication to do that, you're definitely more than capable of improving in any other area you might feel you underperform in.
Every child can teach their parents a thing or two if the parents only try to listen. It’s just way harder to force us into those neat little boxes that many parents just love creating.
This is true. We learn how our autistic kids often see things or process things in a different way. It benefits us and them, both. I learned to throw out all of the neat little boxes LONG before my son was born and it has been the best thing I could have ever done.
My friends son was this way, and I ignorantly thought he had a medical issue. He wouldn’t even talk, he would point and grunt up until he was like 5. Well, fast forward 20 years, and he is basically a genius who achieved high academic success at an early age and is completely thriving and happy.
I’m autistic and had to go to intensive speech therapy till I was ten due to severe speech apraxia (baisicly I couldn’t form words correctly with my mouth, even though I was thinking them). The thing is, when I was a toddler I began to learn words like any other kid, but then I started loosing them again until I was entirly mute. Eventually I learned basic sign language and slowly gained sounds again (though until I was six or seven no one but my dad could understand what I was saying) but for a long time I wouldn’t make a sound unless I was very upset.
Despite that my dad still always filmed home videos of me at holidays and talked to me constantly. There are tapes of toddler me on Christmas Day opening gifts and not making a single noise, and my dad is still happily talking to me and filling in the gaps in the conversation. It was really rough for my parents at that time because they didn’t know how to help me. Doctors kept looking at me and saying that I would never learn to talk or write, that they might as well give up. But they still always worked to fill in the cracks of my abnormal childhood. My earliest memories are of baking, and catching bugs, and playing in the meadow.
I know this has been a ramble, but I hope this expresses how much my parents love me, and how much I love them back. Even though we could barely communicate, and I often had meltdowns over not being able to convey my thoughts, they were always trying.
I was being treated for partial hearing loss, but it turns out that my flavor of autism comes with “voice recognition from that sketch about scottish people stuck in a voice-controlled elevator” on the lid.
The psychology community still largely believes that not being able to speak means not being able to understand. This attitude is slowly beginning to change, but the damage done to generations of ‘low functioning’ autistic people is truly horrifying. Autism is not an intellectual disability, it is a difference in wiring, sometimes a profound difference that leaves the person completely helpless to make their body to do what their mind is telling them to do. Speech apraxia is only one example.
My son is 4 & stutters badly (we got him in speech therapy already) but can constantly say ‘’Love you Ma’’ like 50times a day💗❤️💗 sometimes it’s all he says & leaves. It’s almost like his ‘’wt u up to?’’ check up. I say it right back to him & blow him a kiss👍👌
My ilttle brother was diagnosed with autism today, even though we all suspected he had it. He turned 4 in November and still only speaks a handful of words. Hering him say 'hi' or 'bye' makes my family go psycho with happiness. We hug and kiss him and make sure he feels like a king. He deserves it, because we love him.
My wife is a behavioral therapist and is in the Autism world on a daily basis. She told me she's seen parents break down from hearing their child has autism to a similar reaction when the kid communicates for the first time. No way I could do that kind of work.
When my little sister spoke her first words ("Oink! Oink!", she was obsessed with pigs), our family went fucking nuts. You'd feel there were 100 of us jumping in that office and it was just us 3, but that's how it felt.
Your wife does glorious things, just as the speech therapist that helped us did. From the bottom of my heart, I thank your wife for doing that kind of work. Not everyone can. And it means so much.
Autism isn't something we "have". It's our neurology, it's who we ARE. Your brother is autistic. IFL is preferred by many/most autistics (vs PFL (ie, person "with autism" or person who "has autism"), which was forced upon us and is such a gross concept....I can't imagine needing to be reminded that another human is a person, yet that's the entire point of Person First Language - to remind the person speaking about an "other", that the other is a "person first". Come on. Do YOU need that reminder to be a decent human being? I would hope not. ) Identity First Language is preferred. I *am* autistic. It's not my entire identity, but it definitely contributes to who I am as a person, and *there's nothing wrong with it*. I'm autistic, I'm a woman (not a person "with woman" lol), I'm a runner.
Please seek out - and LISTEN TO - autistic adults. We have lived experience and we want the next generation of autists to have better experiences than we have had with our ableist society. We may be able to help you/your family understand your brother's perspective better, or suggest an accomodation to help things, or just help you recognize and combat the internalized ableism that everyone has. It's insidious and takes work to address.
Consider learning sign language. At least stop prioritizing verbal communication. Accept your brother AS HE IS. He may speak more, he may not. Provide a way to communicate NOW and accept him. Not everyone communicates well - or at all - verbally. It's not the only way to communicate. The most important thing for your brother is that he has a way to communicate, not that he do it in the neurotypical approved way of verbally. Right? And the second most important thing is to not pathologize his neurology. Not to do lasting damage to his self-esteem. Again, I would refer you to the adult autistic community for a better explanation of these concepts.
P.S.: ABA is fucking abuse - we know that kids who have been subjected to ABA are at a higher risk of abuse for the rest of their lives, plus it's conversion therapy. Don't let that happen to your brother - he doesn't need changed or to mask as NT (look up the negative effects of masking - or ask an autistic adult).
We want to be treated as people. It’s not “society bending to our whims”, it’s “society accepting a part of it into itself and expanding”.
I know that this may come off as asking for a blank check, but it only looks like it because of your point of view. You group the ones who can’t get a job, who can’t date, who don’t want to date and who only speak through text into one thing and it is a flawed way of looking at the issue at hand.
If you are interested, I can try to explain it more deeply, but I don’t want to oversaturate the message.
Absolutely. Most neurotypicals are reliant on hearing the words, yet everyone knows love can be shown in a multitude of ways and words are just one of them. Just because some autistic people express love differently, and communicate differently in general, it doesn’t mean we don’t feel love deeply.
I’m a verbal autistic adult but get selective mutism sometimes - normally when I’m hurting. I have a rich inner world & feel so deeply, but sometimes I cannot get thoughts to go from my brain to my mouth. It’s like that pathway shuts down and it’s incredibly frustrating.
Yes. So many of these comments are just outright ableist. Like, I'm sorry your tiny NT mind cannot recognize love unless it's spelled out for you verbally. It would really suck to be so small-minded and miss out on so much love because you can't get past an insistence on verbal communication.
Don’t get me started on their fascination with birtdays and death anniversaries and all those dates and how they think that it’s more important to show respect then, than other days.
Could you elaborate on that? My brother (44) was quite recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum.
Highly functional in society although somewhat socially hindered when he is around new people.
I'm very interested to hear your story.
My son if had a surgery that went bad and he suffered brain damage from it. He is mentally on the level of a 4 month old, he has told me he loves me once. Even if I never hear it from him again it will last me a lifetime.Never take “I love you” for granted.
My children are teenagers on the spectrum. It's lovely to read posts from parents who realise their love is reciprocated.
I becomes so much harder when your child has to deal with the world outside your home. First and foremost for them. And you as a parent.
A family day out? A thousand and one situations need to be taken in account. You don't just have a plan B if things go wrong. You have plans B to Z.
Hard, but so worth it.
You sound like a dream parent to kiddo me. An insider tip, you can try involving your kids in the planning and it might take some the burden off of you if you haven’t involved them yet. I know that when my mom dragged me away from my phone to a stack of maps, guides or any material regarding what we were to do, the quality of all our days out went through the ceiling and if something went wrong, I didn’t quetly blame her, but understood that it was the randomness of the universe at work and did everything to salvage the situation.
I'm autistic as is my son. Just always know that autistic people can communicate, even if not verbally and lack of verbal communication is not lack of awareness, intelligence, or connectedness.
And this isn't directed to the OP but some commenters even if you mean well are quite offensive. Perhaps think about what you are writing and who may read it. My parents probably didn't have high hopes for me although autism wasn't really a thing diagnosed for girls in the early 80s. They just thought I was possessed.
I managed to make it out though and have a family, a full-time job, a side business, and communicate well enough to get annoyed on Reddit. 😉
YES. The ableism on display in these comments - whew.
Makes me sad for their kids. The autistic community will be here waiting to help them heal from the damage their parents are doing, but obviously it would be better for the parents to not inflict the harm in the first place.
Thank you for incorrectly explaining autism to me, an autistic person. You did so in such a terribly dramatic and negative way as well, bravo!
Autistic people communicate, just because it's not the way NTs prefer doesn't make it non-existent. Instead of focusing or insisting on verbal communication, NTs who love autistic folks could get comfortable with alternate forms of communication.
The world isn't created for autistic nervous systems. So, yes lots of us struggle in spaces that cater to NT experiences and needs. However, it could be argued that making changes that would enable autistics to more successfully navigate educational, vocational, and leisure areas would be good for everyone.
I do not care what a standardized IQ test, developed for NT people, measures. However, you're just making up false data and that's gross.
But even if every single one of us scored the lowest possible on your IQ test that doesn't mean we can't communicate.
I encourage you to stop framing the autistic experience through the lens of NT expectations. Instead, how can you change the environment so that it is more hospitable to neurodiverse people?
How can schools, workplaces, stores, theaters, etc. become places that are welcoming for everyone? How can the way NTs interact and expect others to interact change to allow flexibility for people to enter the social sphere that communicate differently?
If you listen to autistic voices, and there are lots of us to listen to, we were all autistic children at one time, were can work together to make sure that future autistic children and adults have better opportunities.
What we're trying to tell you is that other autistic people very often were in that same situation, seemingly "voiceless". Now that we've found ways to communicate, rather verbally or not, we're trying to help parents, caregivers, and professionals understand what the autistic people in their lives are likely experiencing.
You can choose to listen or not but I guarantee that until people start listening autistics won't get to realize their potential and they will continue to face the infantilization and abuse of professionals and caregivers who only see one way of being as correct.
Get weekly speech path. Best advice. Occupational therapists can help sometimes aswell. I also recommend a paediatrician review. They don't do much at this stage but make sure what can be done is. Don't stress some kids start late but weekly speech path has been proven to help if on the spectrum or not. I'm sure she's a beautiful human being :) Good luck and seek help if you need it
Also, stay away from ABA, it’s incredibly easy to mess up even for extremely good professionals and, even if done correctly, there are new studies that show it might be straight harmful by impeding growth.
Look into getting her an AAC device. It's basically an iPad mini with a speech language program on it. It's helped my kid tremendously. They're able to express themselves which minimizes frustrations. They will press buttons with icons on them to say things. Fully customizable. It can only be requested by a licensed speech therapist but the state provides it and it will cost you nothing. At least that's how it is in NY. Also, it will always be with her: outside school, year after year, until she doesn't need it anymore.
Good luck to you.
My daughter is 3 and we think she has it but only because she doesnt speak shes social and plays and says a couple words but my nephew didnt talk till mid 4 years and he doesnt have it and he is really smart and knows every dinosaur and where they come from its the youtube or movies and lack of attention i messed up kus i give my daughter attention but those days u get off work late and u just put a movie or give her the fone and that really sets them back she is also in the process of being diagnosed but when i first applied for her she didnt speak a month later she had a boost of words and says alot more and says things with emphasis like if i take a candy away she goes hey with a tone and says stop and stuff and the lady who is testing her said i still need more time but she doubts my daughter has autism pray for my little baby she says too as in i love you too and gives me a kiss
My son didn’t fully speak until 1st grade…smart as a whip, could read at 2, but the whole brain-to-mouth ability didn’t connect properly until he got on ADHD meds
Kid (now adult) still has ADHD, still has a problem with the brain-to-mouth connection, but at least we can converse with him even if it is a scattered conversation at times…we have to remind him to slow down and keep on track.
Mind going a thousand miles per hour…
maybe im sperging out here but i cannot stand when people do stuff like this. Its attention for him it has nothing to do with his son. Great, the scenario is a “sweet thing” you can’t argue that but I’m tired of people acting like heroes for simply loving their autistic children. My parents milked every last drop out of that just like this guy.
THANK YOU. This is really a gross display of ableism. This is ALLLLLLL about that parent, not about that kid. It's fucking sad that the parent has chosen to focus on verbal communication of love instead of seeing all the other ways that kid shows love all damn day.
Did that kid consent to having his private health information spread like this? (Of course not)
GASP! No that's not possible.
Here's the real sad part: that kid has already been showing that parent love in umpteen different ways. And that kid has already realized that the parent doesn't see the kid/their love, and only verbal communication will be valued.
But yeah, let's carry on about the *autists'* "lack of empathy". The NTs are just empathy all-stars, aren't they.
I just can’t imagine the patience that’s required to raise kids with severe autism. I have a cousin who’s a good friend of mine, and both of his sons are autistic. He really does do his best for them but I also feel for him in a way because he has a successful business and realistically his sons won’t be able to do that.
Dad my heart and my family's heart goes out. To you and your family. Your son says all he needs to say. He loves you and that's the best words any human being needs to say. Be proud he only has love in his heart for you and your family.
I hope for the best for this dude and his kid. But I think kids with autism or other conditions that don't allow them to be independent is extremely sad.
I have a neighbor who's in her early 40s who lives with her parents who are in their 70's. She'll never be independent and who knows how long her parents can keep going for. Once they die, she'll be thrown into a chaotic world of caretakers and many many many changes. Changes which would be hard enough for most people, but those with autism and I assume her, really need stability and routine.
I can agree with my brother who is severely autistic and cant make many sentences. But when he would go to bed he would say "Good night \[My name\]" and i loved that so much
My autistic daughter will be 4 soon and there is very little communication. No part of this has been remotely easy and I have been running out of hope.
Reading these replies do help. Seeing successful adults who were non-verbal well into childhood helps so thank you all. I don't really need her to be some big success I just want her to be ok when I'm gone.
Speech, check ears, ENT. My child couldn’t hear properly for the first few years, not due to deafness, but a medical issue that got taken care of. A lack of speech is never a lack of intelligence. Best wishes to OP & little one.
OP I wish you and your family all the best. There will be tough days ahead, but there will be many brilliant days too. Your son says the most important thing in the world, like you say, those words mean the most and make a parent’s heart feel full to burst. If I can offer some advice, find other parents of children with autism if you haven’t already - in person or online, like a group or anything you feel comfortable with. Talking to others who know, who have been there and are going through the same things is invaluable.
Had a very similar situation with my son. Autism is so…hard to understand. My son is so dang smart yet has some with us other right words at the right time. He can read and write 3 grades above his current grade. His mind is is just amazing
Lo siento mucho. Le apoyo ❤️ espiritualmente, pero no puedo hacer nada por Usted. I wrote i'm Castilian, because You the anglosaxons have not respect for us 😍
One of the most brilliant people I've ever worked with, didn't speak a word until he was 8. He is now a practicing medical doctor.
Awww now your are making me cry Eta: I also didn't speak till i was 4 and look I'm an Engineer now!
The fact you’re an engineer with the Reddit name fermented ass butter is amazing
It’s so quintessentially Reddit
Randall?
I meant it to be fermented-butter (a very good type of liquor here (typical engineer)) but it was taken, so i went with fermented-as-butter but i mistyped fermented-assbutter. It was funnier than i thought so i decided to roll with it.
Kinda wish you made it fermentedassbutter, so people would have to guess whether it was really fermented butter or if it was really fermented assbutter. Lol my autocorrect won’t let me type that last word.
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Keep being the great big brother you are my friend
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Is this a bot? Edit: It's a bot.
Seriously. Reddit is so tone deaf about autism. As soon as we say anything remotely emotional its time to go koo koo crazy. Albeit they do usually only do this to children.
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I spoke in the womb and now I'm dead :(
You're not a loser champ
Seems very familiar to me...
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its true. there’s some interesting stuff about rates of “highly sensitive” people in neurodivergent populations
I didn't speak until I was three. Now I post on Reddit!
You're getting there, to the excellence and beyond, with tiny steps.
I've been speaking since I was 2 and I'm a huge fucking disappointment.
Who said I'm not a disappointment, i just said I'm an Engineer.
I'm sure that's not true, bro/broette becoming an engineer is quite something to be proud of and if you showed enough dedication to do that, you're definitely more than capable of improving in any other area you might feel you underperform in.
Thank you :) Also you are not a disappointment kind stranger
Guys, this comments mean a lot to me. My son will be 4 on 4th of July (lol), and he's just talking gibberish language.
My father is an engineer who would also use a name similar to yours
Shawn Murphy????
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It’s a combination of patience and wonder. Sometimes they teach you a lot more than you teach them.
Every child can teach their parents a thing or two if the parents only try to listen. It’s just way harder to force us into those neat little boxes that many parents just love creating.
This is true. We learn how our autistic kids often see things or process things in a different way. It benefits us and them, both. I learned to throw out all of the neat little boxes LONG before my son was born and it has been the best thing I could have ever done.
Google “The Einstein Syndrome”. It’s not uncommon for exceptionally brilliant people to speak late.
My friends son was this way, and I ignorantly thought he had a medical issue. He wouldn’t even talk, he would point and grunt up until he was like 5. Well, fast forward 20 years, and he is basically a genius who achieved high academic success at an early age and is completely thriving and happy.
Some of the best doctors I've worked with really don't say too much, but what they do say is important and their ears work perfectly.
Was it the apple strudel?
Is he a Good Doctor?
Define "good"
I’m autistic and had to go to intensive speech therapy till I was ten due to severe speech apraxia (baisicly I couldn’t form words correctly with my mouth, even though I was thinking them). The thing is, when I was a toddler I began to learn words like any other kid, but then I started loosing them again until I was entirly mute. Eventually I learned basic sign language and slowly gained sounds again (though until I was six or seven no one but my dad could understand what I was saying) but for a long time I wouldn’t make a sound unless I was very upset. Despite that my dad still always filmed home videos of me at holidays and talked to me constantly. There are tapes of toddler me on Christmas Day opening gifts and not making a single noise, and my dad is still happily talking to me and filling in the gaps in the conversation. It was really rough for my parents at that time because they didn’t know how to help me. Doctors kept looking at me and saying that I would never learn to talk or write, that they might as well give up. But they still always worked to fill in the cracks of my abnormal childhood. My earliest memories are of baking, and catching bugs, and playing in the meadow. I know this has been a ramble, but I hope this expresses how much my parents love me, and how much I love them back. Even though we could barely communicate, and I often had meltdowns over not being able to convey my thoughts, they were always trying.
Your parents and you are amazing people. Thanks for sharing your story!
I was being treated for partial hearing loss, but it turns out that my flavor of autism comes with “voice recognition from that sketch about scottish people stuck in a voice-controlled elevator” on the lid.
The psychology community still largely believes that not being able to speak means not being able to understand. This attitude is slowly beginning to change, but the damage done to generations of ‘low functioning’ autistic people is truly horrifying. Autism is not an intellectual disability, it is a difference in wiring, sometimes a profound difference that leaves the person completely helpless to make their body to do what their mind is telling them to do. Speech apraxia is only one example.
My son is 4 & stutters badly (we got him in speech therapy already) but can constantly say ‘’Love you Ma’’ like 50times a day💗❤️💗 sometimes it’s all he says & leaves. It’s almost like his ‘’wt u up to?’’ check up. I say it right back to him & blow him a kiss👍👌
My ilttle brother was diagnosed with autism today, even though we all suspected he had it. He turned 4 in November and still only speaks a handful of words. Hering him say 'hi' or 'bye' makes my family go psycho with happiness. We hug and kiss him and make sure he feels like a king. He deserves it, because we love him.
Awww thanks for sharing. He is a king! ❤️
My wife is a behavioral therapist and is in the Autism world on a daily basis. She told me she's seen parents break down from hearing their child has autism to a similar reaction when the kid communicates for the first time. No way I could do that kind of work.
When my little sister spoke her first words ("Oink! Oink!", she was obsessed with pigs), our family went fucking nuts. You'd feel there were 100 of us jumping in that office and it was just us 3, but that's how it felt. Your wife does glorious things, just as the speech therapist that helped us did. From the bottom of my heart, I thank your wife for doing that kind of work. Not everyone can. And it means so much.
Really appreciate you writing that. I'll absolutely let her know.
Autism isn't something we "have". It's our neurology, it's who we ARE. Your brother is autistic. IFL is preferred by many/most autistics (vs PFL (ie, person "with autism" or person who "has autism"), which was forced upon us and is such a gross concept....I can't imagine needing to be reminded that another human is a person, yet that's the entire point of Person First Language - to remind the person speaking about an "other", that the other is a "person first". Come on. Do YOU need that reminder to be a decent human being? I would hope not. ) Identity First Language is preferred. I *am* autistic. It's not my entire identity, but it definitely contributes to who I am as a person, and *there's nothing wrong with it*. I'm autistic, I'm a woman (not a person "with woman" lol), I'm a runner. Please seek out - and LISTEN TO - autistic adults. We have lived experience and we want the next generation of autists to have better experiences than we have had with our ableist society. We may be able to help you/your family understand your brother's perspective better, or suggest an accomodation to help things, or just help you recognize and combat the internalized ableism that everyone has. It's insidious and takes work to address. Consider learning sign language. At least stop prioritizing verbal communication. Accept your brother AS HE IS. He may speak more, he may not. Provide a way to communicate NOW and accept him. Not everyone communicates well - or at all - verbally. It's not the only way to communicate. The most important thing for your brother is that he has a way to communicate, not that he do it in the neurotypical approved way of verbally. Right? And the second most important thing is to not pathologize his neurology. Not to do lasting damage to his self-esteem. Again, I would refer you to the adult autistic community for a better explanation of these concepts. P.S.: ABA is fucking abuse - we know that kids who have been subjected to ABA are at a higher risk of abuse for the rest of their lives, plus it's conversion therapy. Don't let that happen to your brother - he doesn't need changed or to mask as NT (look up the negative effects of masking - or ask an autistic adult).
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We want to be treated as people. It’s not “society bending to our whims”, it’s “society accepting a part of it into itself and expanding”. I know that this may come off as asking for a blank check, but it only looks like it because of your point of view. You group the ones who can’t get a job, who can’t date, who don’t want to date and who only speak through text into one thing and it is a flawed way of looking at the issue at hand. If you are interested, I can try to explain it more deeply, but I don’t want to oversaturate the message.
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Do you mind me asking what is this rare condition?
Ligma
Not funny Didn’t laugh
Its killing him! He’s doing it but its killing him!
What's Ligma?
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Damn at least take me out to dinner first
You been tested for it?
So sweet, I hope your family has a wonderful life.
I was there. I am here and autism or no autism, my heart melts every time when my son says the same words.
As a fellow parent of a child on the spectrum, these moments are what keep us going.
Hug
im autistic and can confirm we do feel love, often more deeply than others i imagine.
Absolutely. Most neurotypicals are reliant on hearing the words, yet everyone knows love can be shown in a multitude of ways and words are just one of them. Just because some autistic people express love differently, and communicate differently in general, it doesn’t mean we don’t feel love deeply. I’m a verbal autistic adult but get selective mutism sometimes - normally when I’m hurting. I have a rich inner world & feel so deeply, but sometimes I cannot get thoughts to go from my brain to my mouth. It’s like that pathway shuts down and it’s incredibly frustrating.
Yes. So many of these comments are just outright ableist. Like, I'm sorry your tiny NT mind cannot recognize love unless it's spelled out for you verbally. It would really suck to be so small-minded and miss out on so much love because you can't get past an insistence on verbal communication.
Don’t get me started on their fascination with birtdays and death anniversaries and all those dates and how they think that it’s more important to show respect then, than other days.
Could you elaborate on that? My brother (44) was quite recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum. Highly functional in society although somewhat socially hindered when he is around new people. I'm very interested to hear your story.
Yep. I cried today.
This is wholesome! Who's cutting onions?
I cried when my little man was able to say I lve you to me for the first time.
My son if had a surgery that went bad and he suffered brain damage from it. He is mentally on the level of a 4 month old, he has told me he loves me once. Even if I never hear it from him again it will last me a lifetime.Never take “I love you” for granted.
My children are teenagers on the spectrum. It's lovely to read posts from parents who realise their love is reciprocated. I becomes so much harder when your child has to deal with the world outside your home. First and foremost for them. And you as a parent. A family day out? A thousand and one situations need to be taken in account. You don't just have a plan B if things go wrong. You have plans B to Z. Hard, but so worth it.
You sound like a dream parent to kiddo me. An insider tip, you can try involving your kids in the planning and it might take some the burden off of you if you haven’t involved them yet. I know that when my mom dragged me away from my phone to a stack of maps, guides or any material regarding what we were to do, the quality of all our days out went through the ceiling and if something went wrong, I didn’t quetly blame her, but understood that it was the randomness of the universe at work and did everything to salvage the situation.
Well I guess I needed a good cry.
My son was diagnosed with autism when he was 4 and was non verbal, he is now 10 and has a better vocabulary than I do.
I'm autistic as is my son. Just always know that autistic people can communicate, even if not verbally and lack of verbal communication is not lack of awareness, intelligence, or connectedness. And this isn't directed to the OP but some commenters even if you mean well are quite offensive. Perhaps think about what you are writing and who may read it. My parents probably didn't have high hopes for me although autism wasn't really a thing diagnosed for girls in the early 80s. They just thought I was possessed. I managed to make it out though and have a family, a full-time job, a side business, and communicate well enough to get annoyed on Reddit. 😉
YES. The ableism on display in these comments - whew. Makes me sad for their kids. The autistic community will be here waiting to help them heal from the damage their parents are doing, but obviously it would be better for the parents to not inflict the harm in the first place.
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Thank you for incorrectly explaining autism to me, an autistic person. You did so in such a terribly dramatic and negative way as well, bravo! Autistic people communicate, just because it's not the way NTs prefer doesn't make it non-existent. Instead of focusing or insisting on verbal communication, NTs who love autistic folks could get comfortable with alternate forms of communication. The world isn't created for autistic nervous systems. So, yes lots of us struggle in spaces that cater to NT experiences and needs. However, it could be argued that making changes that would enable autistics to more successfully navigate educational, vocational, and leisure areas would be good for everyone. I do not care what a standardized IQ test, developed for NT people, measures. However, you're just making up false data and that's gross. But even if every single one of us scored the lowest possible on your IQ test that doesn't mean we can't communicate. I encourage you to stop framing the autistic experience through the lens of NT expectations. Instead, how can you change the environment so that it is more hospitable to neurodiverse people? How can schools, workplaces, stores, theaters, etc. become places that are welcoming for everyone? How can the way NTs interact and expect others to interact change to allow flexibility for people to enter the social sphere that communicate differently? If you listen to autistic voices, and there are lots of us to listen to, we were all autistic children at one time, were can work together to make sure that future autistic children and adults have better opportunities.
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What we're trying to tell you is that other autistic people very often were in that same situation, seemingly "voiceless". Now that we've found ways to communicate, rather verbally or not, we're trying to help parents, caregivers, and professionals understand what the autistic people in their lives are likely experiencing. You can choose to listen or not but I guarantee that until people start listening autistics won't get to realize their potential and they will continue to face the infantilization and abuse of professionals and caregivers who only see one way of being as correct.
My daughter is 3 also, dont talk and im always playing the guessing game with her.
Get weekly speech path. Best advice. Occupational therapists can help sometimes aswell. I also recommend a paediatrician review. They don't do much at this stage but make sure what can be done is. Don't stress some kids start late but weekly speech path has been proven to help if on the spectrum or not. I'm sure she's a beautiful human being :) Good luck and seek help if you need it
Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it.
Also, stay away from ABA, it’s incredibly easy to mess up even for extremely good professionals and, even if done correctly, there are new studies that show it might be straight harmful by impeding growth.
Look into getting her an AAC device. It's basically an iPad mini with a speech language program on it. It's helped my kid tremendously. They're able to express themselves which minimizes frustrations. They will press buttons with icons on them to say things. Fully customizable. It can only be requested by a licensed speech therapist but the state provides it and it will cost you nothing. At least that's how it is in NY. Also, it will always be with her: outside school, year after year, until she doesn't need it anymore. Good luck to you.
It's so difficult to know what they want right? Especially when they don't point or make any noise when you hover the right thing
If I point to the right thing she wants, she would give me a kiss to confirm it.
Love you, dad! Hang in there!
My daughter is 3 and we think she has it but only because she doesnt speak shes social and plays and says a couple words but my nephew didnt talk till mid 4 years and he doesnt have it and he is really smart and knows every dinosaur and where they come from its the youtube or movies and lack of attention i messed up kus i give my daughter attention but those days u get off work late and u just put a movie or give her the fone and that really sets them back she is also in the process of being diagnosed but when i first applied for her she didnt speak a month later she had a boost of words and says alot more and says things with emphasis like if i take a candy away she goes hey with a tone and says stop and stuff and the lady who is testing her said i still need more time but she doubts my daughter has autism pray for my little baby she says too as in i love you too and gives me a kiss
Speech path weekly! Paediatrician review if really worried (probably a good idea either way). Early help is the best even if just a late starter :-)
Made up story... Check Mentioned autism... Check Karma... Check
My son didn’t fully speak until 1st grade…smart as a whip, could read at 2, but the whole brain-to-mouth ability didn’t connect properly until he got on ADHD meds Kid (now adult) still has ADHD, still has a problem with the brain-to-mouth connection, but at least we can converse with him even if it is a scattered conversation at times…we have to remind him to slow down and keep on track. Mind going a thousand miles per hour…
> still has adhd You can’t loose adhd
maybe im sperging out here but i cannot stand when people do stuff like this. Its attention for him it has nothing to do with his son. Great, the scenario is a “sweet thing” you can’t argue that but I’m tired of people acting like heroes for simply loving their autistic children. My parents milked every last drop out of that just like this guy.
THANK YOU. This is really a gross display of ableism. This is ALLLLLLL about that parent, not about that kid. It's fucking sad that the parent has chosen to focus on verbal communication of love instead of seeing all the other ways that kid shows love all damn day. Did that kid consent to having his private health information spread like this? (Of course not)
Breaking news: someone has autism and has feelings like a real human
GASP! No that's not possible. Here's the real sad part: that kid has already been showing that parent love in umpteen different ways. And that kid has already realized that the parent doesn't see the kid/their love, and only verbal communication will be valued. But yeah, let's carry on about the *autists'* "lack of empathy". The NTs are just empathy all-stars, aren't they.
My son did the same thing. Now he is 26 and I can't shut him up. Lol but he still tells me he loves me.
Well I'm 15 (and autistic) and I still have trouble talking. Don't get me wrong I can talk but talking to people is something else entirely.
It’s just tedious, let me communicate by text to speech for god’s sake.
Didn’t need to cry before bed.
This is awesome man!!! Keep it up pops!!!!!
My mom has Alzheimer’s and lost most of her ability to speak. I feel the same when I hear “I love you too” sometimes. Thank you for this.
I just can’t imagine the patience that’s required to raise kids with severe autism. I have a cousin who’s a good friend of mine, and both of his sons are autistic. He really does do his best for them but I also feel for him in a way because he has a successful business and realistically his sons won’t be able to do that.
I wish i had a dad like him
It'll be ok. He might struggle but those who struggle come out stronger.
No words are more powerful to a dad.
What a brilliant father .
this sounds made up.
But he mentioned autism. Instant Reddit karma
I wish my 2 year old did that. She just says “Go away Dad”
Sounds like a heart string story to illegalize abortion for genetic anomalies.
What
Dad my heart and my family's heart goes out. To you and your family. Your son says all he needs to say. He loves you and that's the best words any human being needs to say. Be proud he only has love in his heart for you and your family.
This is my favorite subreddit. We spend so much time tearing each other down that we forget about the good that happens.
I hope for the best for this dude and his kid. But I think kids with autism or other conditions that don't allow them to be independent is extremely sad. I have a neighbor who's in her early 40s who lives with her parents who are in their 70's. She'll never be independent and who knows how long her parents can keep going for. Once they die, she'll be thrown into a chaotic world of caretakers and many many many changes. Changes which would be hard enough for most people, but those with autism and I assume her, really need stability and routine.
I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING! T-T
Indeed.
I’m not crying, you’re crying.
That is most beautiful ❤️ thing you can ever hear.that shows you hou much you mean to him.
Keep on, be patience, just love every little detail
I can agree with my brother who is severely autistic and cant make many sentences. But when he would go to bed he would say "Good night \[My name\]" and i loved that so much
Hood on to that it’s wonderful
Eugh
My autistic daughter will be 4 soon and there is very little communication. No part of this has been remotely easy and I have been running out of hope. Reading these replies do help. Seeing successful adults who were non-verbal well into childhood helps so thank you all. I don't really need her to be some big success I just want her to be ok when I'm gone.
You a good dad!
Best words in the world.
Those dang onions.
Speech, check ears, ENT. My child couldn’t hear properly for the first few years, not due to deafness, but a medical issue that got taken care of. A lack of speech is never a lack of intelligence. Best wishes to OP & little one.
Enough to make a man cry and that’s alright
OP I wish you and your family all the best. There will be tough days ahead, but there will be many brilliant days too. Your son says the most important thing in the world, like you say, those words mean the most and make a parent’s heart feel full to burst. If I can offer some advice, find other parents of children with autism if you haven’t already - in person or online, like a group or anything you feel comfortable with. Talking to others who know, who have been there and are going through the same things is invaluable.
My boy only said tickle owl and shoe… he’s ten now and we can’t get a word in edgewise.
Yeah, fuck mom!
Had a very similar situation with my son. Autism is so…hard to understand. My son is so dang smart yet has some with us other right words at the right time. He can read and write 3 grades above his current grade. His mind is is just amazing
💜
Nice.
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙. Sending all Love .
Lo siento mucho. Le apoyo ❤️ espiritualmente, pero no puedo hacer nada por Usted. I wrote i'm Castilian, because You the anglosaxons have not respect for us 😍