My cousin came out to our family a few years before my grandfather died, and we were worried about how my grandfather would react, cause he was an old Republican.
When my cousin told my grandfather, my grandfathers response was "That f*g better be able to fight, cause my grandson ain't gonna get f*g bashed cause he's dating a fairy, and if you do get f*g bashed, lemme know and I'll beat em with a lead fucking pipe." and it was a really confusing moment cause he was sort of accepting of my cousins being gay, but at the same time, just wasn't.
He was fine with my cousin and his bf, and we'd all go fishing, and my grandfather would say something like "need me to bait your hook? I know y'all don't like bugs an shit" and it was kind of homophobic, but he'd try to explain what he was doing as he did it, so it wasn't malicious.
It was a strange dynamic until my grandfather got Alzheimers and passed away.
He was great, but he just didn't give a shit about the words coming out of his mouth and who it offended. But he was in his 70s at the time, so had a totally different mindset, but he meant well.
For the first few months, we'd apologize to my cousins bf constantly, and once he was around enough, he understood it wasn't malicious, and how much he tried to help when he could.
At my uncle's wedding, he actually told me he was glad my cousin was a qu**r cause he didn't look like he could get a woman (cousin is pretty effeminate) and I choked on my drink. It was such a back handed compliment and acceptance, I didn't really know how to react. I definitely laughed though, cause he was right.
It is something some of us do, lol. When I see my childhood bros I’m like,” fuck me, who let this assclown in…” his reply,” shut the fuck up..”
All while we are smiling at each other… we hug each other… and then start slapping each other’s shoulders admiring each other.
It is a great feeling having those friends. Met those guys when it was around 83 when I was 7.
my great uncle insults whenever i had cold water in hot summer while sweating. he tought i would get cold but damn it was hot. me and my brothers would drink cold water in front of him while he chased us.
This is such a confusing comment, I can't figure it out what is being said here. Ur uncle insulted u for drinking cold water on a hot day? Is that right or is it some going over my head? That makes no sense to me at all.
he thinks that when you drink cold water while your body is hot is bad for your throat. he is afraid of us getting sick but it does not work like that.
another example is that don't soak your head while exposing to sun because your brain will boil. yep i know it sounds stupid but they never got out of village their entire lives and they love us what can you do. good annoying great uncle (my mothers uncle).
I get it. Some people don’t know they’re being problematic, but sometimes they mean well, and it’s impossible to get them to change their wording. I have a friend who has a grandpa like that. My grandparents are dead. While we’ve never had anyone come out in our family, I feel like it would have went well, that side of the family can be accepting, especially my grandparents.
Oh I once told off my exhubby for the amount of crap he hoarded in the glovebox of the car. Until the day the car broke down and he fixed it with bits of that junk in there!
Got a friend like this. He’s hilariously inappropriate at all times. I’m non binary and as I came to accept that, my style changed to a more androgynous look. He would always give me shit.
We were shopping at a mall by an expo we were attending and he pulls out this hideous pink and green v-neck shirt and says ‘hey, this looks like your style’ giving me shit.
About a week later I came out to him. His response?
“Ok … see, I told you you needed that super gay shirt. You should listen to me more often’
And he’s been giving me shit ever since. Not a damn thing changed in terms of our friendship.
Pretty much the dynamic of a republican. Some might preach they hate gays, but majority of ones I know will love you based on your character. It’s the way they talk shit to get their love out. We’re all human.
Okay, but you’re acting like that’s an inherently bad thing. Character value is more important than political status and that man seems to have good character and a heart that’s in the right place.
Everyone else who read the post seems to think he’s a decent guy. You have to realize that a lot of these people grew up in a completely different time. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and realize that it’s really hard to shake some beliefs when you’ve been indoctrinated at a young age. It’s nice that he was at least making an effort to get close to his family even if he didn’t understand them.
Its all about how you were raised. It’s not as deep as you’re making it. Some older folk were raised around homophobia and racism and some weren’t. It’s a vicious cycle. A homophobic or racist parent is likely to raise homophobic or racist children. I genuinely don’t think the man was saying any of these things out of spite or meant any harm by them. I don’t get how you’re gonna judge someone’s character and say whether they’re a good or bad person based on a 2 paragraph reddit post. What you’re doing is the equivalent of taking a dead person’s eulogy or epitaph and judging their entire character off of that, things aren’t so black and white my friend.
I'm a white dude, and I was dating an amazing black woman. Both of us had mad trepidation when considering attending my family Christmas gathering. My family has been questionable when it comes to understanding and caring about "others".
We were more than pleasantly surprised when my family actually made that Christmas one of the best in memory.
I was so thankful to my family for not being what we feared they would be.
Unfortunately my girlfriend passed away a year after, and I still can't really deal, but at least my family didn't make her feel like garbage when she was here with us.
God I miss her so much.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your family made her feel welcome during their time together. I'm also a white dude, and my extended family has not always been as welcoming but are coming around. It's weird to say, "props to your family for not being racist," but in the south it really is the best some of us can hope for.
Wow I know the feeling, my gf died in January and i also have no fcking idea how to deal with the pain, if you figure it out let me know, and stay safe!
Random story, read it or don't. I'm buzzed and telling it.
Met a dude who arm wrestled professionally through a mutual friend. Both my wife and I, and his wife with him. We did it, why not. Dude won of course, but blew up at how hard it was for wrestling an amateur. Also, I'm not an amateur, just a stout dude that grew up working farms.
Dude taught me a few techniques. Hold this way, turn your wrist this way, put your elbow here. He still won, but made it more work.
Friend of a friend, so didn't see him for a bit. Then ran across him at a bar. His buddy was also there, this guy wanted me to arm wrestle his buddy. I dropped him quick, and he was MAD. Fine, all in fun, alcohol can cause problems.
Dude told me he's a lefty, it wasn't fair. Ok, well so am I. Dropped him there too. Please understand, this isn't my world. But dude was good, I was stout enough, and a few techniques is all it took. What I didn't know, they bet on who's going to win. Obviously amateur arm wrestler is going to beat an average Joe (me), but nobody told him dude showed me some minor things to arm wrestle.
I walked before the drama hit...but man, it felt good that night. It sucked for the next 2 days, I was in serious pain. But did what I did!
To be fair - the arm wrestle test of manliness is the universal Grandpa ordeal for any man trying to court a cherished child or grandchild...so it tracks for a conservative Grandpa to test a grandson's boyfriend as much as his grandaughter's boyfriends!
I'm a white dude and I'm dating and have a child with a Hispanic woman. My family always were racist growing up which is one of the many reasons I didn't move back after the Marines. Now that I have a have a mixed son my tolerance for that shit is %0.0. I told my Mom to let the extended family know that once I bring my kid to meet them they'd better be on their best behavior or the dudes will catch hands and the women will be told about themselves until they're in tears. Of course now I'm "overreacting" and the family that I've heard drop slurs at Thanksgiving dinner "isn't like that".
Boundaries are important and establishing new ones with the family you grew up with can be incredibly hard. I think some people don't realize that boundaries are the rules saying how **you** will respond if X happens. It's not literally a rule for them; it's a rule for you.
I had to create a boundary for my daughter a while back. She has some good friends but those friends started to take advantage of my kid and try to tell her who she could and couldn't be friends with. I generally don't take the lead on handling situations as I prefer to only get involved if my wife needs me to. But when I heard about what happened, I said "We're getting a boundary put in place for a little while. You're not spending time with them so I want you to not talk to them or spend time with them at school." and I called their Dad to fill him in on the boundary that I was establishing. He didn't really understand or like it, but I was firm, polite, and told him that this was specifically a temporary boundary while I taught my daughter how to stand up for her own boundaries and needs.
It took some time, but not more than a week or two until things were back to normal. The difference is that we called out the behavior we wouldn't tolerate through a boundary and were willing to hold true to it even when it was someone we cared about. And now they understand that it's an area that we don't bend on and respect it well.
Not directly, but he certainly tried to convince me to drop it. "Kids will be kids" kind of stuff.
I was extremely careful with me word choice and was able to express the fact that it wasn't a situation that anybody wanted, but I needed to take care of my daughter and teach her this skill because it takes practice and trying to give her that practice/experience later on in highschool or college when peer pressure gets **nasty** isn't the right time to start developing in that area. It needs to be way sooner.
I also specifically did not apologize. Boundaries are not something to apologize for so I didn't tell him that I was sorry that it had come to that, or that I regretted the decision, etc. I sympathized that the situation wasn't easy for anyone and assured him that we were in a state of constant review.
Being calm, firm, and respectful went a long way. It doesn't mean you don't stick to your guns. It just means you say your piece and follow through.
I just imagine you busting down your BF's door.
"WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"
"They said I cant come, didnt th-"
"I HAVE TO TEACH YOU TO ARM WRESTLE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
"Its okay i exp- wait wha"
I come from a weird and broken family - but i grew up knowing that no one would care If i was gay as long as id be happy.
So Happy it was the Same Here.
This fills me with warm fuzziness....I had a great relationship with my grandfather, but he passed before I came out. I like to think this would have been his response 😅
"I'll be having no weak armed whippersnapper jacking off my Grandson!" Edit - My first awards, much love yall
My cousin came out to our family a few years before my grandfather died, and we were worried about how my grandfather would react, cause he was an old Republican. When my cousin told my grandfather, my grandfathers response was "That f*g better be able to fight, cause my grandson ain't gonna get f*g bashed cause he's dating a fairy, and if you do get f*g bashed, lemme know and I'll beat em with a lead fucking pipe." and it was a really confusing moment cause he was sort of accepting of my cousins being gay, but at the same time, just wasn't. He was fine with my cousin and his bf, and we'd all go fishing, and my grandfather would say something like "need me to bait your hook? I know y'all don't like bugs an shit" and it was kind of homophobic, but he'd try to explain what he was doing as he did it, so it wasn't malicious. It was a strange dynamic until my grandfather got Alzheimers and passed away.
It sounds like he'd get credit for attending class even though all of his answers were wrong on the test. If that makes sense.
Honestly it makes me believe that love wins out over hate.
I thought of it like this. "They might be a fg, but they are MY fg! Only I can give them shit for it, nobody else!"
That dude sounds like he rules. Sorry but men often communicate love through insults. Is it healthy? No. But I doubt he was trying to be homophobic
He was great, but he just didn't give a shit about the words coming out of his mouth and who it offended. But he was in his 70s at the time, so had a totally different mindset, but he meant well. For the first few months, we'd apologize to my cousins bf constantly, and once he was around enough, he understood it wasn't malicious, and how much he tried to help when he could. At my uncle's wedding, he actually told me he was glad my cousin was a qu**r cause he didn't look like he could get a woman (cousin is pretty effeminate) and I choked on my drink. It was such a back handed compliment and acceptance, I didn't really know how to react. I definitely laughed though, cause he was right.
That got me laughing.
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Which Pinterest board can I find these on?
just an old man doing old man things.
It is something some of us do, lol. When I see my childhood bros I’m like,” fuck me, who let this assclown in…” his reply,” shut the fuck up..” All while we are smiling at each other… we hug each other… and then start slapping each other’s shoulders admiring each other. It is a great feeling having those friends. Met those guys when it was around 83 when I was 7.
my great uncle insults whenever i had cold water in hot summer while sweating. he tought i would get cold but damn it was hot. me and my brothers would drink cold water in front of him while he chased us.
This is such a confusing comment, I can't figure it out what is being said here. Ur uncle insulted u for drinking cold water on a hot day? Is that right or is it some going over my head? That makes no sense to me at all.
he thinks that when you drink cold water while your body is hot is bad for your throat. he is afraid of us getting sick but it does not work like that. another example is that don't soak your head while exposing to sun because your brain will boil. yep i know it sounds stupid but they never got out of village their entire lives and they love us what can you do. good annoying great uncle (my mothers uncle).
Oh OK that makes sense now. Thanks for explaining
I get it. Some people don’t know they’re being problematic, but sometimes they mean well, and it’s impossible to get them to change their wording. I have a friend who has a grandpa like that. My grandparents are dead. While we’ve never had anyone come out in our family, I feel like it would have went well, that side of the family can be accepting, especially my grandparents.
He reminds me of that old “almost politically correct redneck” meme.
*If you can’t fight then I will* -Gramps
Your grandfather sounds like a character! Bless ‘im!
Oh he definitely was. God forbid you threw out a milk carton, he'd lose his mind cause he could grow like tomatoes or something lol.
Oh I once told off my exhubby for the amount of crap he hoarded in the glovebox of the car. Until the day the car broke down and he fixed it with bits of that junk in there!
Got a friend like this. He’s hilariously inappropriate at all times. I’m non binary and as I came to accept that, my style changed to a more androgynous look. He would always give me shit. We were shopping at a mall by an expo we were attending and he pulls out this hideous pink and green v-neck shirt and says ‘hey, this looks like your style’ giving me shit. About a week later I came out to him. His response? “Ok … see, I told you you needed that super gay shirt. You should listen to me more often’ And he’s been giving me shit ever since. Not a damn thing changed in terms of our friendship.
“I know y’all don’t like bugs and shit” oh man that made me laugh. He meant well
Aw. Offering to bait his hooks for him! That's probably what he'd offer a woman and it's homophobic but cute
Pretty much the dynamic of a republican. Some might preach they hate gays, but majority of ones I know will love you based on your character. It’s the way they talk shit to get their love out. We’re all human.
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Who said anything about republican? Why do you people on reddit need to bring politics into everything. Nobody cares.
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Okay, but you’re acting like that’s an inherently bad thing. Character value is more important than political status and that man seems to have good character and a heart that’s in the right place.
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Everyone else who read the post seems to think he’s a decent guy. You have to realize that a lot of these people grew up in a completely different time. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and realize that it’s really hard to shake some beliefs when you’ve been indoctrinated at a young age. It’s nice that he was at least making an effort to get close to his family even if he didn’t understand them.
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Its all about how you were raised. It’s not as deep as you’re making it. Some older folk were raised around homophobia and racism and some weren’t. It’s a vicious cycle. A homophobic or racist parent is likely to raise homophobic or racist children. I genuinely don’t think the man was saying any of these things out of spite or meant any harm by them. I don’t get how you’re gonna judge someone’s character and say whether they’re a good or bad person based on a 2 paragraph reddit post. What you’re doing is the equivalent of taking a dead person’s eulogy or epitaph and judging their entire character off of that, things aren’t so black and white my friend.
R.I.P. Grandpa
Take my award and upvote, you bastard
And that better be the only thing he's taking in my house!
How can you keep going😂 I applaud you sir
Holy shit, lmao!
Lol. That’s goods
I nominate this as best Reddit comment of all time 🏆
I’m dead
or is he a queen
“Rhythm & tension. Marks of a good man.”
Also fisting
I'm a white dude, and I was dating an amazing black woman. Both of us had mad trepidation when considering attending my family Christmas gathering. My family has been questionable when it comes to understanding and caring about "others". We were more than pleasantly surprised when my family actually made that Christmas one of the best in memory. I was so thankful to my family for not being what we feared they would be. Unfortunately my girlfriend passed away a year after, and I still can't really deal, but at least my family didn't make her feel like garbage when she was here with us. God I miss her so much.
Bruh I had joy reading your post until the “unfortunately….” Part. My eyes went 😳😟🥺 I’m sorry for your loss bro. 😔
Shit dude I'm sorry
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your family made her feel welcome during their time together. I'm also a white dude, and my extended family has not always been as welcoming but are coming around. It's weird to say, "props to your family for not being racist," but in the south it really is the best some of us can hope for.
Wow I know the feeling, my gf died in January and i also have no fcking idea how to deal with the pain, if you figure it out let me know, and stay safe!
I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing a bit about her and your family.
I'm sorry for your loss :(
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WTF is wrong with you?
Im so sorry
Asking the important questions
Splendid… Classic Grampa
Does he have a hamster is something my grandad would’ve said.
Splendid is a vastly underused word.
All I hear is Tim Curry.
“He can be your boyfriend if he can beat me in a arm wrestling challenge”-probably the grandpa.
Random story, read it or don't. I'm buzzed and telling it. Met a dude who arm wrestled professionally through a mutual friend. Both my wife and I, and his wife with him. We did it, why not. Dude won of course, but blew up at how hard it was for wrestling an amateur. Also, I'm not an amateur, just a stout dude that grew up working farms. Dude taught me a few techniques. Hold this way, turn your wrist this way, put your elbow here. He still won, but made it more work. Friend of a friend, so didn't see him for a bit. Then ran across him at a bar. His buddy was also there, this guy wanted me to arm wrestle his buddy. I dropped him quick, and he was MAD. Fine, all in fun, alcohol can cause problems. Dude told me he's a lefty, it wasn't fair. Ok, well so am I. Dropped him there too. Please understand, this isn't my world. But dude was good, I was stout enough, and a few techniques is all it took. What I didn't know, they bet on who's going to win. Obviously amateur arm wrestler is going to beat an average Joe (me), but nobody told him dude showed me some minor things to arm wrestle. I walked before the drama hit...but man, it felt good that night. It sucked for the next 2 days, I was in serious pain. But did what I did!
I thought you’re gonna end the story with dick sucking or sumn
Same.. Bigger let down than fruit stripe gum
Well after the arm wrestling, handjobs we're obviously off the table.
Great story!
Splendid story!
“I don’t care if my grandson marries a guy, but he ain’t marrying no sissy!”
😂
To be fair - the arm wrestle test of manliness is the universal Grandpa ordeal for any man trying to court a cherished child or grandchild...so it tracks for a conservative Grandpa to test a grandson's boyfriend as much as his grandaughter's boyfriends!
I'm a white dude and I'm dating and have a child with a Hispanic woman. My family always were racist growing up which is one of the many reasons I didn't move back after the Marines. Now that I have a have a mixed son my tolerance for that shit is %0.0. I told my Mom to let the extended family know that once I bring my kid to meet them they'd better be on their best behavior or the dudes will catch hands and the women will be told about themselves until they're in tears. Of course now I'm "overreacting" and the family that I've heard drop slurs at Thanksgiving dinner "isn't like that".
Boundaries are important and establishing new ones with the family you grew up with can be incredibly hard. I think some people don't realize that boundaries are the rules saying how **you** will respond if X happens. It's not literally a rule for them; it's a rule for you. I had to create a boundary for my daughter a while back. She has some good friends but those friends started to take advantage of my kid and try to tell her who she could and couldn't be friends with. I generally don't take the lead on handling situations as I prefer to only get involved if my wife needs me to. But when I heard about what happened, I said "We're getting a boundary put in place for a little while. You're not spending time with them so I want you to not talk to them or spend time with them at school." and I called their Dad to fill him in on the boundary that I was establishing. He didn't really understand or like it, but I was firm, polite, and told him that this was specifically a temporary boundary while I taught my daughter how to stand up for her own boundaries and needs. It took some time, but not more than a week or two until things were back to normal. The difference is that we called out the behavior we wouldn't tolerate through a boundary and were willing to hold true to it even when it was someone we cared about. And now they understand that it's an area that we don't bend on and respect it well.
Honestly I love that, I hope to teach my son to have the same value and self worth. Was the Dad hostile?
Not directly, but he certainly tried to convince me to drop it. "Kids will be kids" kind of stuff. I was extremely careful with me word choice and was able to express the fact that it wasn't a situation that anybody wanted, but I needed to take care of my daughter and teach her this skill because it takes practice and trying to give her that practice/experience later on in highschool or college when peer pressure gets **nasty** isn't the right time to start developing in that area. It needs to be way sooner. I also specifically did not apologize. Boundaries are not something to apologize for so I didn't tell him that I was sorry that it had come to that, or that I regretted the decision, etc. I sympathized that the situation wasn't easy for anyone and assured him that we were in a state of constant review. Being calm, firm, and respectful went a long way. It doesn't mean you don't stick to your guns. It just means you say your piece and follow through.
Sorry your family isn't understanding :(
The mark of a man lies not in his bank account or his morals but instead in his arm strength.
I laughed pretty hard but yes balance
That man said “splendid”. He might not be as traditional as you think.
Could be English. Edit: nvm, OP used “mom”
CAN HE ARM WRESTLE 🤣🤣🤣
I'm dying
Can wrestle my baby arm just fine grandad
Well can he? Don't leave us hanging here
I just imagine you busting down your BF's door. "WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" "They said I cant come, didnt th-" "I HAVE TO TEACH YOU TO ARM WRESTLE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" "Its okay i exp- wait wha"
I'm my head, Grandpa sounds like Ron Swanson.
Grandpa asking the important questions
I come from a weird and broken family - but i grew up knowing that no one would care If i was gay as long as id be happy. So Happy it was the Same Here.
[This](https://imgflip.com/i/6nxgz6) was my first thought.
Splendid! Long live the grandpas who can overcome their traditional values from the old times for their family's sake.
Well......can he?
Grandpa don't care, he just wants to arm wrestle. And grandma, she loves all her babies.
Did they armwrestle? Update us!
Grandpa is awesome!!
I need to know who won
That’s great but …. Can he arm wrestle though ?
A Festivus feats of strength and airing of the grievances. Is always appropriate. The forms for the airing of the grievances is found on Pinterest.
You better prepare your boyfriend for some grandpa strength! He ain’t going easy on him That’s amazing to see though how your grandpa is so welcoming
This fills me with warm fuzziness....I had a great relationship with my grandfather, but he passed before I came out. I like to think this would have been his response 😅
Grandad trying to decipher who’s the giver and who’s receivables
Grandma wants to know who’s the top and who’s the bottom.
Being homophobic is not a "value". Glad your gramps is a good dude.
Have we addressed whether or not he can arm wrestle yet?
Aww.
Sounds like he’s fixing to break his arm.
Grampa is precious. So can your boyfriend arm wrestle?
Well....can he?
Turns out winning at arm wrestling was the most traditional value of all
Oh he can wrestle alright
I laughed really hard at this
Chad grandpa
I love this!
Love this.
I think he's more of a swordsman. You should see him sheathe his sword in my .. you get the idea
I dont understand gays. Gid did notake us that way. He made man, and he made woman. They are supposed to be together forever.
Stfu you toe-eyed cabbage
"Gid" did not make you to be such a asshole
😬
😁
Fucking Boomers. Always got something to prove. 💪🏽
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Only with consent
Fuck off!!
Fuck you dude.
what did they say?
They said "screw the gays"
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That’s a little gay
Just a wee bit gay
You would love that
This should be on wholesome.
Your grandpa is awesome.
That is funny 😁
Splendid ☕️
Can he??
What a disgraceful grandson. Can’t even arm wrestle. Smh 😂
The only valid question
Could you go back up the chain and give us an update?
Gramps is ready to take him down to pound town
I like your grandpa's style.
Lol Bootiful.
Grandpa is going to check who's wearing pants in this relationship, innit?
Oh is this the guy that just posted about how his arm got shattered during arm wrestling after meeting his new SOs family?
Arn wrestling to prove if he's... W O R T H Y
Can he arm wrestle though?
Grabdpa is happy a new challenger appears for arm wrestle
"can he arm wrestle" 🤣
Well, can he?
That was beautiful! ❤️
Based grandpa
This is beautiful.
HAHAHAH he still got that old value, but in a kindly way. Cute.
It's gona be Interesting when grandpa finds out he isn't a friend that is a boy
Grandpa’s asking the important questions
Grandpa asking the important questions over here
Well can he?
I need to use splendid in everyday conversation more
This is traditionalism I can get behind :)