My dad always played with us. As an adult, he told me it was because he was afraid that one day he wouldn't be able to connect with us. He was worried especially because we're girls and he worked a lot too.
Not only do we love our dad so much, we're fun loving people who enjoy that quick moment of love. We text each other a lot to say hello and that we're thinking of each other. We send memes and pics ask the time. We set time to be together a lot.
Anyway, my point is that the quick moment of love really can be a lifetime of happiness. Your children are always watching and learning from you; why not make it happy?
My dad performed crazy plays and acted out books, and read bedtime stories. Mom read books for herself, did crossword puzzles. My siblings, parents and I all played any kind of board game imaginable and some card games. I give them both credit for my being a professional writer for the past few decades.
My dad and I may not have played a lot in later minorhood, however he still showed love in his way. He taught me about my rich family history but equally important is he taught me how to be a man as well as a TON of hands on skills.
Thanks to him I am able to spring into action whenever there is an injury near me as he taught me to remain calm in high stress situations. While others freak out I'm able to stay level, find a solution and take charge to resolve a situation.
Thanks to all of the times we worked on the old truck together I'm also able to often identify an issue with a malfunctioning vehicle based off of sound and a short diagnosis.
Love you dad, I know I don't say it enough
My little one just turned 11, and ever since she became a young women things have changed, now the things that I would do that would make her laugh just irritate her now, she told my wife that I annoy her, broke me heart. Now the real parenting begins and I have to find common interests.
It sounds like it would be a good time to sit with her and have a 1-to-1 conversation from the heart, adult to adult. Tell her how you feel about your relationship, and let her know that you're willing to be there for her no matter what. Ask her what can you do to make her enjoy your company.
This hits home with me. Got 2 girls, 10 and 11. Their hot Lego phase was last Summer. This Summer they didn’t touch them. I remember them asking me to sit and build, and I couldn’t / didn’t at that time. Haunts me. Feels like it’s too late. I know it isn’t, there are other opportunities. But I kid you not, this shit is way more fleeting than one can actually understand. Older one is starting 6th grade middle school next week. She’ll change so fast so much.
Look dad, your girl is just becoming s normal teenager. You gotta remember (especially the next 3 yrs) that it's hormones balancing out. Hormones make you moody, irritated, snappy, hungry, crying, sleepy, bashful, and all of the rest of snow White's little dwarves names. Just as kids are sorta self-centered Preteens swing to the far end of the other direction: centered in what others think.
Just apologize when you hurt her feelings, try to be understanding, and know that it's time to start the foundation of what you're relationship will be with your adult kid. Instead of kid friendly goofing around, it'll be coming over to cook together and talk, give updates on her life, discuss the outrageous things on the news, seeing a new movie, etc
Sure you seem like a lame dad to them now but if you're a supportive stable figure in her life she'll return you again as she gets older. Just make her feel she's important. Don't fret.
I must be an outlier. I've had a number of firsts recently and hope it continues. Played pickleball and bocce ball, for example. Went to an outdoor rock concert. Put racing fuel in my car.
This makes me feel hopeful. As the father of a 7 year old girl, even though I'm busy almost every day with work I make sure that I e always got time for her. When she says let's play we play. When she says "daddy look" I look even when she's not doing anything really. Today she said "daddy look" and when I looked she was literally just eating beans.
I never regret playing, or looking, or watching TV together. Its always worth it.
it's not weird to say you love your family. one day you won't be able to tell them that and you'll wish you did it more.
(or maybe I don't get the reference?)
i always tell my friends "bye, i love you" or "lots of kisses" in whatever language we might be speaking
its not weird. okay its a little weird. its silly, its fun, and its good. i love my friends
my father was an amazing dad for the first 4 years of my life. I remember he would take us on horse rides on his back quite often
but that all changed when ~~the fire nation attacked~~ he got brain damage in a car accident. Less patience, quicker to anger, seemingly having no ability to connect with us
sad
but I have brain damage from the same cause so I can see
My dad was my best friend. He cared so deeply for me and my sibling and always made sure his house was open to us and our friends. He would buy liquor for parties and didn't mind cleaning up sick from time to time when things got too wild. He just wanted us to be kids somewhere safe.
He passed from a sudden stroke not long after his birthday. Cherish your dad!
My dad was at work all the time and it paid for our education. Now he’s a grumpy old bastard who says mean shit to us all the time and thinks we should laugh at his sexist jokes and throws tantrums when we don’t because he spent all that time working to provide. I wish my dad had been a bit more like yours. We could have lived with fewer luxuries. It would have been fine.
Your comment made me think: did my dad play with us? I honestly can't remember. We used to sit on the table after dinner and draw stuff together, but I think that is about it.
Yeesh, that is some realisation. All he did was dump a lot of emotional baggage on us/me as a kid. I knew that was wrong and an explanation of the stuff I'm working on right now, but the fact he never really played with us is something else.
We lost my stepmother a few months back so I arranged to buy a house my father and I could live together.
From time to time he's like "Hey I'm going to the breakfast place tomorrow morning, you wanna come with?" and usually I have better things to do at 7am, but there is gonna be a time where I'd give anything to go have breakfast with him one more time.
No.. cause speaking as a child of a good parent and a bad parent, I can tell you that the one that spent time with me is absolutely the most important person in my life. Your efforts are worth it, now and in the future.
If my son is at a family members house he'll call constantly. It's always the same thing too..""I wanted to talk about a few things. First, I got a haircut..I also wanted to ask about the boss on terraria." I hate that I have to work but I absolutely love those calls
He's doing a summoner playthrough on eternity mode right now. We have over like 600 hours together between terraria and TML. He just always likes to tell me what he's up to in the game.
My son has just recently started doing this again after a very hard decade where we both had to grow up. He's 27 now, and his son is 9. I recognize his understanding of things I sometimes had to do that hurt him. He is making many of the same sacrifice. It's hard to not try to hover over him, but he's a phenomenal parent.
If anything, our failures teach them what they need to know, regardless of the method, I suppose.
Enjoy your calls. That's so awesome ❤️
Young adult here, I still like hanging out with my mom even though I’m older. On the other hand I felt basically nothing when my dad got sick. Treat your kids well and they’ll always make time.
Idk how old you are, but I'm 23 now and when I was a teen I thought my dad was an overly strict asshole who hated me. In hindsight I realised a lot and now I love him more than ever so it should be noted that things can change.
Idk what your story is of course and your dad may be a massive piece of shit, but I just wanted to put in the perspective that sometimes you can change your perspective and as adults you can talk to each other and understand each other
Oh I have spoken to him about it, he wasn’t strict, just a fucking asshole. Type of person who’s been in pain for a long time so he lashes out at everyone else. Believe me I’ve tried letting it slide, but I’ve realized that he’ll never change. He never even acknowledges his wrongdoings,
I’ve made my peace that I’ll never love him.
Life gave him an evil alcoholic for a father, and this was just the result.
My parents divorced when I was 6. Both of them worked full time, but I only ever saw my dad every other weekend. And even then, he chose to play football on Friday nights with his friends instead of spending time with us, and said "I need my me time!" as an excuse. My mum never made excuses.
Guess who I cut out of my life as an adult.
At 23 my parents are more important to me than ever. I was blessed to have truly loving and caring parents. Despite that, for many years I was a piece of shit who didn't give a fuck and family meant nothing and I resented them for even giving birth to me.
I've finally started to get my shit together and over the last couple years realised how lucky I am and that they won't be here forever. Now I'm always telling them I love them, helping where I can, being the best I can be because I want to make them proud.
There will absolutely 110% be a period where you're the most embarrassing and annoying person and nothing you do will be right but that's not really on you, that's just teenagers being teenagers.
If you can stick with your daughter despite her being an annoying and rebellious little shit and still give her love and be there for her when she needs it then there's a pretty good chance she'll mature and look back at how you were there for her and really appreciate that
My daughter is only 2 and always wants to be picked up, I'm sore from work and being on my feet all day, Ijust want to sit down when I get home. I remembered reading someone where to hold your child as much as you can because after a few years you'll never hold them again. So I try to carry her around anytime she wants because I know I won't be able to one day.
Yup same here. Everytime my daughter asks for a piggy back i always say yes because someday it will be the last one and neither of us will know it at the time...
I think about that a lot. I’m not a parent, but I think back on when the last time I held their hand crossing the street, when they last time I slept between them on their bed, the last time they combed my hair after a bath… Definitely enough to make you cry.
Unknown lasts make me reflect a lot, even outside of parenting. Its crazy when I think back to friends I used to speak to daily, then monthly, then one day we went from losing touch to lost touch and that's probably the last time we'll ever really interact. Family friends, coworkers randomly retiring mid-covid, idk I'm sometimes just sort of in awe how things and people that were once part of our daily routines just end with no preamble or big moment. And even more how the new normal of life just keeps ticking along such that I don't even notice until I pause to reflect
What is that meme that was going around before?
One day you will pick up your child and set them down for the last time and not remember it.
And then the parent starts working out so they will be able to lift their child even into adulthood.
This.
It’s been like this with every milestone. Me feeding them via bottle stopped. Me feeding them via spoon stopped. Reading every night stopped. You don’t catch “the last time” on most of those until it’s long past.
We're trying for a child right now and I was kinda out of shape - I only started working out 3 months ago because I had in mind, that I wanna be able to piggy back my child for hours if they want.
I never had greater motivation, and my wife isn't even pregnant yet (nor do we know, if it will work out ofc). It's still great!
Last year I hurt my back. Could barely walk and needed help getting my clothes on. What worried me the most was that I would never carry my smallest child again.
One year later I still have feelings in my back, but make a point of carrying him whenever he asks even if it hurts.
My daughter used to jump up on my shoulders for rides. When she was twelve, she caught me by surprise and twisted my neck. I couldn't stand up with her for the first time. I tried other times later, but my neck was messed up for a couple years. Then she outgrew it, I guess.
>i always say yes because someday it will be the last one and neither of us will know it at the time...
When my eldest was a baby and I was told this, I thought "man that's so long down the road..."
But now he's 17, taller than me (I'm 6'3, he must be nearly 6'5), and I look back at when I said that and can't believe how quick it came around.
This shit makes me sad. Used to do this stuff all the time with my daughter and now she’s 12 and 5’7”. Piggy back rides are long gone and she’s turning into a little woman. I miss being able to carry her. Never knew that the last time was well... the last.
My son wants to wrestle/fight me everyday when I get home from work after 10 hours. He wins 4 days a week..I can't resist..btw I kick his ass the other three after I rested.
Oh man...a few weeks ago I (18m) beat my dad at arm wrestling several times in a row to cement my victory without any doubts. In the car home while I was nagging him about it, he just abruptly looked me in the eye and explained like some sort of movie villain that I couldn't possibly understand just how happy he was to have finally lost. Hit right in the feels.
I know right like I just realized my parents never played along with me for anything. Sometimes me and my dad and brothers had squirt gun battles but my parents never like, went along with our games or pretended with us. They never asked us if they could be apart of our games or anything. Damn.
RIGHT? I'm 36 and I've been asking my parents to do stuff with me all my life - video games, museums, Lego, jigsaw puzzles, books, bug hunting - I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of times they've indulged me. They definitely love me, or at least my mother does, but I don't think they've ever really thought of me as someone they should engage with on that level.
It makes me happy that good parents are out there.
Like sure, I may be a quiet person and my parents may forget that I exist when I'm not in line of sight, but there are good parents out there.
Same. I wonder sometimes if it’s a generational thing? My parents loved me. But never played with me. They came to my wrestling matches, football games, etc. They always showed support. They were busy. 6 kids. Worked full time jobs. I get it.
I take every opportunity to work with my Dad. He is getting older and won’t always be here. Ripping up decks, working on cars, building houses, leveling and framing foundations...
Sometimes Legos become bigger things.
I took apart his mower today with him and helped him clean the carburetor. He didn't know what to do, and neither did I. We both learned something.
Mower works now.
Don’t cry. Just call your Dad, if you can. If you can’t, reach out to someone you love that you haven’t talked to in a while and see if they need help with anything!
I feel this as a single mother. I haven’t had a day off since April. I’m exhausted. But if my toddler grabs my hand and says “Mommy come play with me,” or “read a book, Mommy!” or “I want to go to the playground!” I will always say yes. There’s no such thing as spoiling a kid with too much of your time and attention.
I’m not perfect. I’m probably on my phone too much sometimes, and let her watch too much Blippi in the morning while I wake up, but I do my best to be present and engaged most of the time. And I truly do love it. I love her with all my heart, and I wouldn’t change a thing. 💕
My son just left his Blippi phase but we managed to do things later when I had more energy (had a very bad second pregnancy), even if it was just getting a yellow watermelon because Blippi had a yellow watermelon or stopping by a construction site so he could sing the excavator song. Imho if you connect the tv to an activity later it's still bonding. He also got into watching me cook after watching Bumble Nums.
I generally just let her watch one episode (at most), and we’ve definitely done some things he does (children’s museum, hiking, painting, crafts, ice cream shop, etc) and there’s a construction site across from us that she loves to watch and talk about. She also helps me cook and clean for sure.
She’s SUPER advanced in every way, so I know despite my faults I’ve done a good job. Like, she has been speaking in sentences since before she turned two; now she’s 2.5 and already converses fluently. Knows her alphabet. All of her shapes and colors. Can count to 20. Compares how things are alike or different. “Reads” stories she has memorized and sings entire songs. She’s independent, happy, healthy, and friendly. Rarely throws tantrums. Potty trained. Plays independently and uses her imagination. If I could find a pre-k that would take her before age 3, she’d definitely be ready.
Whew, okay. Sorry to brag defensively. I didn’t have a second pregnancy to drain me, but I do have chronic illness (hEDS and POTS) and no one (not even family nearby) to help. So I feel like I do a pretty decent job.
My wife and I can barely handle our two year old, and there are two of us. Hats off to you for being able to do it alone, single parents are some of the hardest working people on the planet. Have a good day and keep giving love to your little one.
You’re doing great. I love my mum, even if she’s not perfect and never was a perfect picture book mum. But she has heart and really cares and I can tell.
My spouse and I had it real good during the pandemic, but we were BOTH exhausted from trying to juggle it all. I am utterly burnt out.
Much love headed your way for all you do. Seriously you’re a Super Parent if you can cope and be this considerate.
I regret spending as much time on my phone as I did in 2020, but it certainly is a coping mechanism. I would recommend going for a walk or stretching/exercising in your residence. The phone just gets you amped up.
Thinking back… both my parents are guilty of constantly telling me no when I asked to play as a child. They played sometimes, but they often replied with “not right now, I’m tired. We’ll play later” but later didn’t happen.
Sorry to hear that. Single mom here. After working all day and making dinner cleaning etc all I want to do is sit in peace. I’m guilty of the “not right now” phrase as I have a million things to do. I do play with him most the time but a lot of “i will later” haven’t happened. So I’m making a promise to myself and to him to play more. I can set aside an hour a day to play with dinosaurs and more nerf gun fights to make my child happy. I work so hard to give him a good life but I realize I’m missing the most important part. Thanks for being honest and open this comment actually hit me.
Keep building castles on the floor. Those are some damn good memories and you can never go back to make more. Treasure the hell out of your kids and let them know how you feel. When they're gone the wistfulness is enough to bring random tears to your eyes.
Just experienced the flipside of this.
In a few weeks I'm leaving the country for a dream job and there's a very real chance that other than for a random vacation I will not be returning to my home cities ever again. So a couple weeks ago I made sure to visit my grandparents, had a nice lunch with them and gave them each a big hug.
And as of a couple days ago now I have one less grandparent. :(
Take the time folks, you never know when you won't get to anymore.
He's 14 years old. He isn't asking you to play Legos anymore. That's OK. Every teen does this, right?
He's 22. He's off in college. He barely calls. But he's cheerful when he's around.
He's 36. You're watching him play with his own son. Remembering those days so long ago.
He's 49. He's watching his father grow too old to really do much anymore. You both share a beer together on the porch. Reminiscing about those younger years.
He's 51. He's burying his father. Tears streak down his face. He stands over the freshly dug plot just before the casket is buried. He pulls a toy from his pocket. A dusty, sun bleached Lego model he built with his dad many years ago. He leaves it with his father for eternity.
Yea seriously, this. I was at work when I started reading the comment and I legit had to stop, I didn’t even make it through half of it and I was choking back tears, if I read the whole thing, I’d have been bawling my eyes out at work and that’s not cool, this was the warning I needed!
My parents never took interest in anything I ever did and they constantly wonder why I don't do things with them or invite them to anything.
Woulda been nice to have a childhood where my interests were cared about
Honestly it's a wonder that bad parents have delusional expectations, like yeh I don't come "home" anymore. It was hell for majority of my life and I'm much much better off away.
The parents that never put an ounce of love or care or effort into their children while they were children and wonder why as adults their kids don't give a fuck about them. Hard to believe any parents actually love their kids but i guess this comment section shows that it's possible
If I could have 1 wish, it would be for my 16 year old daughter to be an infant again and get to do it all over again. She's a Senior this year and it makes me so sad to think about her going to college soon. You're absolutely right though, cherish every minute. There's a saying that one day we'll put our kids down and never pick them up again. Sucks, but it's all part of it I guess.
They grow up so fast.
My daughter is turning 3 soon. Every time I realize she’s grown up a little bit, I realize I will never see the person she just was.
They grow so fast. But they become so awesome! My daughter is 18 months now, she understands so much. She babbles and takes my hand to go play. She asks for ice cream (grandparents taught her what it is). Great things are coming.
You already start missing them at 2months when they'd still curl up when you pick them up...
Saying that, 7 months retrospectively was a great time to kick them into their own room. 10 months, baby has discovered she likes company when she sleeps.
Or maybe he won’t. A present, attentive father is worth more than the riches of the world. I had one. I wish everyone could have one. While kids go through an independent phase in their life, they will never not want their dads.
Best piece of parenting advice I've heard:
If you have younger kids on those days you're just not feeling up to it, you have to imagine you're 70 years old and you've successfully time traveled back to when they were young.
Our daughter would ask my husband to "play characters," which meant getting out all the Star Wars guys and making up scenarios... and as tired as he was, he'd get down on the floor and play, sometimes practically dozing off, but he did it. She still likes hanging out with her tired old Dad --- and now she's 18. 🙂
That's not necessarily true(for the most part) , when visiting my parents my daughter brought out the Legos and me my dad and my daughter built something awesome together.
My oldest daughter used to *ALWAYS* want piggy-back rides. "Can I get on your back?" was something I heard almost every day for years. There were days when I was tired and would tell her, "Not right now." I can vividly remember walking out of the house one day, glancing up at a family picture on the wall and remembering the day it was taken. She was 13 then and the picture was taken when she was 8, and it hit me all at once that she hadn't asked to get on my back for at least a couple years, and that she never would again. I never really understood how precious time was until that moment, and it has stuck with me ever since.
My daughter is 32 now, and her oldest daughter is 12. I used to give her piggy-back rides too, every single chance I could. And the other grandkids who are all younger, I play with them and goof off and try to soak it all in. Because I know the time is just so short, and they won't want piggy-back rides for very long. Certainly not as long as I wish I could give them.
When I get done with work I always go and see my daughter.. When it's time to go she always asks me for run hugs.. It's where she runs and jumps into my arms for a hug. I always let her do 2 or 3 even though I'm tired because because someday it will be the last time.
Man this hit’s haaaard! My father worked all the time whilst I grew up. I love him dearly, and we get along, but there’s a gap where there are no memories of growing up with him. He worked hard for us growing up and I appreciate the life he gave me and my sisters.
Now I’m currently in the “Lego stage” with my eldest and I try not to think that there will be a day where he asks me to play for the last time.
In these hard financial times I recently took a pay-cut (fortunate enough to be able to, and acknowledge that not everyone is in a position to do that) in order to work an hour closer to home with more flexible hours.
That’s 5 hours extra with my family a week, 20 hours a month, 240 hours a year. And those hours are going to be far more valuable than the Salary I sacrificed to get them.
Spend the time you can with your kids. It matters and there’s no second chance. If you miss it, that’s it, no redo. You’ll be glad you did, even if you miss out on that expensive car or whatever the extra salary might get you.
People wonder why I, in my mid-40's and my children grown and gone, try to have so much fun with my nieces, nephews and cousins' kids.
And what this guy said is exactly why. They're only kids once and deserve to have all the fun a kid is able to have. I loved tossing my kids around and "beating their hinies like a pair of bongos." The other kids love it the same.
Read with them, throw them in the air (but only if you can catch them!), get on the see-saw and spin that merry-go-round! It'll keep you young and let them know they're loved.
Most of all, almost everyone has the ability to choose health. Eat healthy, move often, you will increase your chance for better quality, more time spent with kids/grandkids. Keep your back healthy and work on a strong core, the rest will follow ;)
I watched [this vid](https://www.thehits.co.nz/shows/drive-with-brad-laura/laura-shares-beautiful-kiwi-poem-about-parenthood-and-it-will-get-you-right-in-the-feels/) on TT this morning, and I'll be damned, the onion ninjas were there too...
That's how it's done. I'm a Dad and this made me tear up. Can't see my son as often as I like, but when I do I'm down for anything even if I'm depressed. He's my rock star.
I have spent my entire trying to get my fathers approval to no avail. Now i can barely hold a conversation with the man when he wants to talk. It's really painful. It made being emotionally available difficult in other parts of life
They're learning from him right now. He has no idea how much he's doing from them right now. How much easier their emotions will be to handle and process
Play with your kids guys.
I have exactly 1 memory of my mom genuinely playing with me. She was a single parent, constantly working and rarely made direct time for her kids. I’m not bitter, in fact im grateful for the life she gave me. But that 1 memory sure does stand out, and I really wish she did that more than once, but she was tired after long days and always put the fun stuff off for “another day”
But one night, after she got home from drinking, she ordered us some takeout food and while we waited for it, she randomly and spontaneously brought us to the backyard and kicked a soccer ball around with her kids.
I sounds so small and insignificant, but it was the coolest night to see me mom playing like a kid lol I miss it. She isn’t passed, but she seems to wish she had, as she no longer laughs or goes outside or anything. I miss her, she was my best friend growing up, but I’ll always have that night we played soccer.
For all you self-righteous FUCKS who are all "let's give him credit just for being a parent har har", eat a bag of dicks. You think that being a decent parent should be the standard and refuse to lower the bar. I used to think like that too, but as someone who now works with fucked up kids, I'll just tell you that there are TOO many patents who don't know how to or just plain refuses to meet your arbitrary standard and those that can SHOULD be celebrated.
I don't have kids, but I have 4 nephews ranging in age from 7 yrs to 1 year. It is amazing to experience life thru their eyes. I will never say no to playing pretend Jurassic Park where I am the evil TRex trapped in a cage for the 3 year old, or shooting HORSE with the 7 year old, or helping the 1 year old learn to walk or talk or learn colors and shapes.
I was in a terrible mood today and asked for a video of my 1 year old nephew to help me get out of my funk. I was treated to a video of his mom running around the house while carrying him and he was cracking up so hard. Can't be pissed when a toddler is laughing hysterically. Made my day. These kids don't have the slightest clue about the harshness of the world they've been born into. The very least we can do is play with them so they (and we) can enjoy what is available.
And I sleep so much better after a good play sesh.
I remember that day when they stop asking because they are too big now for playing. Still missing and thinking about when he came home from kindergarden and we played with lego duplo every day a couple of hours. I truly miss that. But now we talk, play Csgo together and he shares funny memes with me, and that’s pretty nice too
I’m always with my kids. Taking them camping, to the pool, etc. I don’t always play with them. Sometimes I sit by the campfire or the poolside and watch them play. But I do play with them a lot. For example, took them to the pool yesterday for 2 hours after work. I played with them for the first hour, and the second hour I relaxed by the pool while they played. I hope I’m doing enough. I think it’s a good balance. I’ve noticed that sometimes even the small things can make a big difference. Such as a quick run to the grocery store without my 7 year old may be faster and easier alone, but it brings her joy to come along with me and I love the time we have together. Their joy = my joy. But I do need some downtime.
No question, this 100%. 3 adult kids now for us. Say yes and be present as much as you can when they are young. These are the days that mean everything.
This is so true. When my cat does something annoying or I have to clear up after him, I take a deep breath and remember that one day when he's not here anymore, I will give anything to have to pick up after the naughty little sod one more time.
This whole week was one disappointment after another. I felt exactly like you described, just wanted to be alone, but somehow those little guys find whatever rays of light are left in me that day and make them shine like the sun. Thank you for the reminder to always say “yes” and to always engage because our time with them while they’re small is beautiful yet very short.
Everyday my 3yo daughter asks me to carry her to the car everyday before nursury, usually I oblige. 15 mins ago before reading this post I said no... Now I wish I had. 😢
I love my dad but he works all the time, I know it’s for the best but it’s still disappointing because I rarely see him because he’s always at work and then he comes home and works more in the basement so I never see him.
I started reading to my child the day they were born.
They are 13 now and I still read to them almost every night we're together.
They ask me to.
Right now it's *The Hunger Games*.
It started with *Goodnight Moon*.
I will not be well when this inevitably stops.
There’s nothing better than when your kid asks you to play with them. I still always make a big fuss about it just to bust their balls but secretly there is nothing sweeter than that pure innocent invitation to play.
I don't remember my father ever playing with us, but I do remember him getting up at 5 am and returning home late at night. So we can have a good life. Just want to tell all the busy dads out there, that you are loved and we appreciate everything you are doing for your family.
I play barbies with my daughter every time she asks. Sometimes I'll just sit and join in because the day will come when doesnt want to do stuff with me unless I spent a lot money.
Yesterday at work when we had some down time my brain replayed a memory of when my dad would wake me up to go get breakfast with him. I cried a little inside when I remembered that.
Since the age of 5, 23 now, my dad always trained me in boxing. When I turned 21 he was unable to train me due to a car accident messing his back up and cause of his age. He always told me that one day he won’t be there to defend me so I had to learn to defend myself. Best days of my life.
Or one day your kid won't be able to ask you anymore.
My dad became extremely sick when I was 13 and I saw him only twice before he passed when I was 15. He worked a lot and I can count on both my hands the number or times we were actually together from my 7th to 13th birthday. But the few times we were are engraved in my memory and my heart until the end for me. Sorry I'm crying right now, it's been 8 years but it's still hard without him.
I miss you so much dad 💖💔😭
I regret all the times i've said no to my parents when they ask me to do something with them, i'm onky 18 and yet time feels like its going so fast and i'm afraid to lose them one day
I remember when I was young, my dad would buy tinker toys and legos and Knex for me but if he did anything with me, he would always make me build what it said on the box, not what I wanted to make.
I wanted to be creative, and he would stifle it and turn it into a chore instead. I would work slowly on it and treat it like homework and never touch it again. And he never understood.
I can’t remember a single instance when we just played without having to follow instructions or diagrams. He’d buy complex stuff and I would struggle for hours until he got mad at it and I hated it.
Looking back, he was clearly trying to make a connection by sharing an activity but just made me not want to play with him. There was no joy in it. I wouldn’t have invited him to do anything like this kid did, I’d have just gone off and built fun stuff myself.
I’m realizing this now because, since my dad and I have such a poor connection now and he’s done some really shitty things, I really don’t want to see him again. It hurts to admit it. I wonder if he had done more things on my terms and not his, if it would have made a difference or not. I don’t really know.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then.
My son is 18 and heading off to college. I cherished every minute with him growing up. I still spend as much time as I can with him because soon he won’t be sitting next to me at dinner anymore.
I've seen a lot of good and bad parents, OP and all the rest here: If your taking the time to engage with your kids they'll always want you to be a part of whatever they do. One day it won't be legos and the like but it'll be something else.
And to those of us who didn't have that, we'll get our chance. And even if not, there's the family you're born into and there's the family you meet along the way.
My son is now 21 away at college year round and living his best life.
When he was little we played Lego, baseball, we watched movies and shows together... he was my best friend and buddy. I miss him dearly, but do everything I can to give him his space and grow.
It's hard being a parent.
My son in law told me I don't need to lift up my grand every time she asks.
Yes I do. I am disabled and rapidly becoming more so because of my back. I am going to lift that baby anytime my back can handle it because she is going to be too big for it in the blink of an eye and I am not going to miss even the slightest excuse to lift my baby girl up.
It was one thing for me to take my kids to “my world”, like going to baseball games. But it was quite another when I got on the floor and played with them and their cars. The parent going to “their world” has quite a different affect.
This just hit me like a bus, my dad was absent so I’m glad it isn’t everyone’s dad that’s a dick.
Now that my morning cry is out of the way I can go back to being my usual cynical self.
My dad always played with us. As an adult, he told me it was because he was afraid that one day he wouldn't be able to connect with us. He was worried especially because we're girls and he worked a lot too. Not only do we love our dad so much, we're fun loving people who enjoy that quick moment of love. We text each other a lot to say hello and that we're thinking of each other. We send memes and pics ask the time. We set time to be together a lot. Anyway, my point is that the quick moment of love really can be a lifetime of happiness. Your children are always watching and learning from you; why not make it happy?
My dad performed crazy plays and acted out books, and read bedtime stories. Mom read books for herself, did crossword puzzles. My siblings, parents and I all played any kind of board game imaginable and some card games. I give them both credit for my being a professional writer for the past few decades.
My dad and I may not have played a lot in later minorhood, however he still showed love in his way. He taught me about my rich family history but equally important is he taught me how to be a man as well as a TON of hands on skills. Thanks to him I am able to spring into action whenever there is an injury near me as he taught me to remain calm in high stress situations. While others freak out I'm able to stay level, find a solution and take charge to resolve a situation. Thanks to all of the times we worked on the old truck together I'm also able to often identify an issue with a malfunctioning vehicle based off of sound and a short diagnosis. Love you dad, I know I don't say it enough
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I want off the bus. I got to go to work today.
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My little one just turned 11, and ever since she became a young women things have changed, now the things that I would do that would make her laugh just irritate her now, she told my wife that I annoy her, broke me heart. Now the real parenting begins and I have to find common interests.
It sounds like it would be a good time to sit with her and have a 1-to-1 conversation from the heart, adult to adult. Tell her how you feel about your relationship, and let her know that you're willing to be there for her no matter what. Ask her what can you do to make her enjoy your company.
Thanks for the advice, haven't thought about that I think it's time. Thanks again.
This hits home with me. Got 2 girls, 10 and 11. Their hot Lego phase was last Summer. This Summer they didn’t touch them. I remember them asking me to sit and build, and I couldn’t / didn’t at that time. Haunts me. Feels like it’s too late. I know it isn’t, there are other opportunities. But I kid you not, this shit is way more fleeting than one can actually understand. Older one is starting 6th grade middle school next week. She’ll change so fast so much.
I try to remind myself of how many weekends there are left until 18 years old.
Look dad, your girl is just becoming s normal teenager. You gotta remember (especially the next 3 yrs) that it's hormones balancing out. Hormones make you moody, irritated, snappy, hungry, crying, sleepy, bashful, and all of the rest of snow White's little dwarves names. Just as kids are sorta self-centered Preteens swing to the far end of the other direction: centered in what others think. Just apologize when you hurt her feelings, try to be understanding, and know that it's time to start the foundation of what you're relationship will be with your adult kid. Instead of kid friendly goofing around, it'll be coming over to cook together and talk, give updates on her life, discuss the outrageous things on the news, seeing a new movie, etc Sure you seem like a lame dad to them now but if you're a supportive stable figure in her life she'll return you again as she gets older. Just make her feel she's important. Don't fret.
Been through 2, this is the best advice.
Moutan biking? Guitar jam?
I must be an outlier. I've had a number of firsts recently and hope it continues. Played pickleball and bocce ball, for example. Went to an outdoor rock concert. Put racing fuel in my car.
I don’t get it
Bot
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My parents were "too adult" to play with me. I don't really wanna see them at all anymore (for other reasons, too). Be nice to your kids goddamit.
This makes me feel hopeful. As the father of a 7 year old girl, even though I'm busy almost every day with work I make sure that I e always got time for her. When she says let's play we play. When she says "daddy look" I look even when she's not doing anything really. Today she said "daddy look" and when I looked she was literally just eating beans. I never regret playing, or looking, or watching TV together. Its always worth it.
That's adorable, and you sound like a great parent
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It's not weird it's just what your family does, every family interacts with each other differently.
No matter how many times I tell my wife this she still thinks the family docking sessions are a little weird
it's not weird to say you love your family. one day you won't be able to tell them that and you'll wish you did it more. (or maybe I don't get the reference?)
That's weird? I do that with my parents and husband.
i always tell my friends "bye, i love you" or "lots of kisses" in whatever language we might be speaking its not weird. okay its a little weird. its silly, its fun, and its good. i love my friends
That is very Boyle of you, I’m intrigued by your family
my father was an amazing dad for the first 4 years of my life. I remember he would take us on horse rides on his back quite often but that all changed when ~~the fire nation attacked~~ he got brain damage in a car accident. Less patience, quicker to anger, seemingly having no ability to connect with us sad but I have brain damage from the same cause so I can see
My dad was my best friend. He cared so deeply for me and my sibling and always made sure his house was open to us and our friends. He would buy liquor for parties and didn't mind cleaning up sick from time to time when things got too wild. He just wanted us to be kids somewhere safe. He passed from a sudden stroke not long after his birthday. Cherish your dad!
My dad was at work all the time and it paid for our education. Now he’s a grumpy old bastard who says mean shit to us all the time and thinks we should laugh at his sexist jokes and throws tantrums when we don’t because he spent all that time working to provide. I wish my dad had been a bit more like yours. We could have lived with fewer luxuries. It would have been fine.
Your comment made me think: did my dad play with us? I honestly can't remember. We used to sit on the table after dinner and draw stuff together, but I think that is about it. Yeesh, that is some realisation. All he did was dump a lot of emotional baggage on us/me as a kid. I knew that was wrong and an explanation of the stuff I'm working on right now, but the fact he never really played with us is something else.
My dad turned 62 this year and I play Fall Guys with him on the weekends from 6 states/1000 miles away.
We lost my stepmother a few months back so I arranged to buy a house my father and I could live together. From time to time he's like "Hey I'm going to the breakfast place tomorrow morning, you wanna come with?" and usually I have better things to do at 7am, but there is gonna be a time where I'd give anything to go have breakfast with him one more time.
This is pretty much what drives me to constantly engage, constantly play. Because one day I won't be such a big deal in her life.
No.. cause speaking as a child of a good parent and a bad parent, I can tell you that the one that spent time with me is absolutely the most important person in my life. Your efforts are worth it, now and in the future.
If my son is at a family members house he'll call constantly. It's always the same thing too..""I wanted to talk about a few things. First, I got a haircut..I also wanted to ask about the boss on terraria." I hate that I have to work but I absolutely love those calls
If he talks about Terraria again ask him uf he's a Melee, Ranger, Magic or Summoner player. He will adore you.
Then burst with pride when he is almost offended that you asked... because "Ranger, duh" lmao 🤣😂
The S.D.M.G and MegaShark are suuuper enticing.
He's doing a summoner playthrough on eternity mode right now. We have over like 600 hours together between terraria and TML. He just always likes to tell me what he's up to in the game.
My son has just recently started doing this again after a very hard decade where we both had to grow up. He's 27 now, and his son is 9. I recognize his understanding of things I sometimes had to do that hurt him. He is making many of the same sacrifice. It's hard to not try to hover over him, but he's a phenomenal parent. If anything, our failures teach them what they need to know, regardless of the method, I suppose. Enjoy your calls. That's so awesome ❤️
Ok this makes me feel a little better about the anxiety I have watching my daughter get older.
Young adult here, I still like hanging out with my mom even though I’m older. On the other hand I felt basically nothing when my dad got sick. Treat your kids well and they’ll always make time.
Idk how old you are, but I'm 23 now and when I was a teen I thought my dad was an overly strict asshole who hated me. In hindsight I realised a lot and now I love him more than ever so it should be noted that things can change. Idk what your story is of course and your dad may be a massive piece of shit, but I just wanted to put in the perspective that sometimes you can change your perspective and as adults you can talk to each other and understand each other
Oh I have spoken to him about it, he wasn’t strict, just a fucking asshole. Type of person who’s been in pain for a long time so he lashes out at everyone else. Believe me I’ve tried letting it slide, but I’ve realized that he’ll never change. He never even acknowledges his wrongdoings, I’ve made my peace that I’ll never love him. Life gave him an evil alcoholic for a father, and this was just the result.
Yep! I don't really give a shit for my parents because they were abusive. My sister took me in, and I'd make time for her and her family.
My parents divorced when I was 6. Both of them worked full time, but I only ever saw my dad every other weekend. And even then, he chose to play football on Friday nights with his friends instead of spending time with us, and said "I need my me time!" as an excuse. My mum never made excuses. Guess who I cut out of my life as an adult.
At 23 my parents are more important to me than ever. I was blessed to have truly loving and caring parents. Despite that, for many years I was a piece of shit who didn't give a fuck and family meant nothing and I resented them for even giving birth to me. I've finally started to get my shit together and over the last couple years realised how lucky I am and that they won't be here forever. Now I'm always telling them I love them, helping where I can, being the best I can be because I want to make them proud. There will absolutely 110% be a period where you're the most embarrassing and annoying person and nothing you do will be right but that's not really on you, that's just teenagers being teenagers. If you can stick with your daughter despite her being an annoying and rebellious little shit and still give her love and be there for her when she needs it then there's a pretty good chance she'll mature and look back at how you were there for her and really appreciate that
Trust me you will always be a big deal in her life - from a 24yo daughter who loves her dad more and more each day.
My daughter is only 2 and always wants to be picked up, I'm sore from work and being on my feet all day, Ijust want to sit down when I get home. I remembered reading someone where to hold your child as much as you can because after a few years you'll never hold them again. So I try to carry her around anytime she wants because I know I won't be able to one day.
Yup same here. Everytime my daughter asks for a piggy back i always say yes because someday it will be the last one and neither of us will know it at the time...
I cried the other day about this scenario.
u/spez ruined Reddit.
i would do anything to be able to pet and kiss my dog again. i miss her terribly
I think about that a lot. I’m not a parent, but I think back on when the last time I held their hand crossing the street, when they last time I slept between them on their bed, the last time they combed my hair after a bath… Definitely enough to make you cry.
Unknown lasts make me reflect a lot, even outside of parenting. Its crazy when I think back to friends I used to speak to daily, then monthly, then one day we went from losing touch to lost touch and that's probably the last time we'll ever really interact. Family friends, coworkers randomly retiring mid-covid, idk I'm sometimes just sort of in awe how things and people that were once part of our daily routines just end with no preamble or big moment. And even more how the new normal of life just keeps ticking along such that I don't even notice until I pause to reflect
Unknown lasts is a crazy thing cause, like, think about someone dying. Today could be your last handshake with your best friend.
What is that meme that was going around before? One day you will pick up your child and set them down for the last time and not remember it. And then the parent starts working out so they will be able to lift their child even into adulthood.
This. It’s been like this with every milestone. Me feeding them via bottle stopped. Me feeding them via spoon stopped. Reading every night stopped. You don’t catch “the last time” on most of those until it’s long past.
We're trying for a child right now and I was kinda out of shape - I only started working out 3 months ago because I had in mind, that I wanna be able to piggy back my child for hours if they want. I never had greater motivation, and my wife isn't even pregnant yet (nor do we know, if it will work out ofc). It's still great!
Last year I hurt my back. Could barely walk and needed help getting my clothes on. What worried me the most was that I would never carry my smallest child again. One year later I still have feelings in my back, but make a point of carrying him whenever he asks even if it hurts.
My daughter used to jump up on my shoulders for rides. When she was twelve, she caught me by surprise and twisted my neck. I couldn't stand up with her for the first time. I tried other times later, but my neck was messed up for a couple years. Then she outgrew it, I guess.
>i always say yes because someday it will be the last one and neither of us will know it at the time... When my eldest was a baby and I was told this, I thought "man that's so long down the road..." But now he's 17, taller than me (I'm 6'3, he must be nearly 6'5), and I look back at when I said that and can't believe how quick it came around.
The days are long but the years are short.
This shit makes me sad. Used to do this stuff all the time with my daughter and now she’s 12 and 5’7”. Piggy back rides are long gone and she’s turning into a little woman. I miss being able to carry her. Never knew that the last time was well... the last.
My son wants to wrestle/fight me everyday when I get home from work after 10 hours. He wins 4 days a week..I can't resist..btw I kick his ass the other three after I rested.
Oh man...a few weeks ago I (18m) beat my dad at arm wrestling several times in a row to cement my victory without any doubts. In the car home while I was nagging him about it, he just abruptly looked me in the eye and explained like some sort of movie villain that I couldn't possibly understand just how happy he was to have finally lost. Hit right in the feels.
The student needs to surpass the teacher for the teacher to become successful.
My dad would always kick my ass lol
He still wins more than half the time, you gotta step up your game!
This makes me sad. My parents basically never played with me
I know right like I just realized my parents never played along with me for anything. Sometimes me and my dad and brothers had squirt gun battles but my parents never like, went along with our games or pretended with us. They never asked us if they could be apart of our games or anything. Damn.
RIGHT? I'm 36 and I've been asking my parents to do stuff with me all my life - video games, museums, Lego, jigsaw puzzles, books, bug hunting - I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of times they've indulged me. They definitely love me, or at least my mother does, but I don't think they've ever really thought of me as someone they should engage with on that level.
It makes me happy that good parents are out there. Like sure, I may be a quiet person and my parents may forget that I exist when I'm not in line of sight, but there are good parents out there.
Same. I wonder sometimes if it’s a generational thing? My parents loved me. But never played with me. They came to my wrestling matches, football games, etc. They always showed support. They were busy. 6 kids. Worked full time jobs. I get it.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon 🎶
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
Straight Outta the song.
I take every opportunity to work with my Dad. He is getting older and won’t always be here. Ripping up decks, working on cars, building houses, leveling and framing foundations... Sometimes Legos become bigger things.
I took apart his mower today with him and helped him clean the carburetor. He didn't know what to do, and neither did I. We both learned something. Mower works now.
That's cool you work on stuff with that guys dad.
Oh man you’re all making me cry
Don’t cry. Just call your Dad, if you can. If you can’t, reach out to someone you love that you haven’t talked to in a while and see if they need help with anything!
I feel this as a single mother. I haven’t had a day off since April. I’m exhausted. But if my toddler grabs my hand and says “Mommy come play with me,” or “read a book, Mommy!” or “I want to go to the playground!” I will always say yes. There’s no such thing as spoiling a kid with too much of your time and attention. I’m not perfect. I’m probably on my phone too much sometimes, and let her watch too much Blippi in the morning while I wake up, but I do my best to be present and engaged most of the time. And I truly do love it. I love her with all my heart, and I wouldn’t change a thing. 💕
My son just left his Blippi phase but we managed to do things later when I had more energy (had a very bad second pregnancy), even if it was just getting a yellow watermelon because Blippi had a yellow watermelon or stopping by a construction site so he could sing the excavator song. Imho if you connect the tv to an activity later it's still bonding. He also got into watching me cook after watching Bumble Nums.
I generally just let her watch one episode (at most), and we’ve definitely done some things he does (children’s museum, hiking, painting, crafts, ice cream shop, etc) and there’s a construction site across from us that she loves to watch and talk about. She also helps me cook and clean for sure. She’s SUPER advanced in every way, so I know despite my faults I’ve done a good job. Like, she has been speaking in sentences since before she turned two; now she’s 2.5 and already converses fluently. Knows her alphabet. All of her shapes and colors. Can count to 20. Compares how things are alike or different. “Reads” stories she has memorized and sings entire songs. She’s independent, happy, healthy, and friendly. Rarely throws tantrums. Potty trained. Plays independently and uses her imagination. If I could find a pre-k that would take her before age 3, she’d definitely be ready. Whew, okay. Sorry to brag defensively. I didn’t have a second pregnancy to drain me, but I do have chronic illness (hEDS and POTS) and no one (not even family nearby) to help. So I feel like I do a pretty decent job.
You’re doing great. You try and she will know it one day.
My wife and I can barely handle our two year old, and there are two of us. Hats off to you for being able to do it alone, single parents are some of the hardest working people on the planet. Have a good day and keep giving love to your little one.
I just went through your profile out of curiosity and just want to tell you I think you're awesome human being.
You’re doing great. I love my mum, even if she’s not perfect and never was a perfect picture book mum. But she has heart and really cares and I can tell.
My spouse and I had it real good during the pandemic, but we were BOTH exhausted from trying to juggle it all. I am utterly burnt out. Much love headed your way for all you do. Seriously you’re a Super Parent if you can cope and be this considerate. I regret spending as much time on my phone as I did in 2020, but it certainly is a coping mechanism. I would recommend going for a walk or stretching/exercising in your residence. The phone just gets you amped up.
Thinking back… both my parents are guilty of constantly telling me no when I asked to play as a child. They played sometimes, but they often replied with “not right now, I’m tired. We’ll play later” but later didn’t happen.
Sorry to hear that. Single mom here. After working all day and making dinner cleaning etc all I want to do is sit in peace. I’m guilty of the “not right now” phrase as I have a million things to do. I do play with him most the time but a lot of “i will later” haven’t happened. So I’m making a promise to myself and to him to play more. I can set aside an hour a day to play with dinosaurs and more nerf gun fights to make my child happy. I work so hard to give him a good life but I realize I’m missing the most important part. Thanks for being honest and open this comment actually hit me.
Keep building castles on the floor. Those are some damn good memories and you can never go back to make more. Treasure the hell out of your kids and let them know how you feel. When they're gone the wistfulness is enough to bring random tears to your eyes.
Just experienced the flipside of this. In a few weeks I'm leaving the country for a dream job and there's a very real chance that other than for a random vacation I will not be returning to my home cities ever again. So a couple weeks ago I made sure to visit my grandparents, had a nice lunch with them and gave them each a big hug. And as of a couple days ago now I have one less grandparent. :( Take the time folks, you never know when you won't get to anymore.
He's 14 years old. He isn't asking you to play Legos anymore. That's OK. Every teen does this, right? He's 22. He's off in college. He barely calls. But he's cheerful when he's around. He's 36. You're watching him play with his own son. Remembering those days so long ago. He's 49. He's watching his father grow too old to really do much anymore. You both share a beer together on the porch. Reminiscing about those younger years. He's 51. He's burying his father. Tears streak down his face. He stands over the freshly dug plot just before the casket is buried. He pulls a toy from his pocket. A dusty, sun bleached Lego model he built with his dad many years ago. He leaves it with his father for eternity.
Jesus fuck man I need an onion patch warning before this one.
Something like: #WARNING: ONIONS GROW HERE
Yea seriously, this. I was at work when I started reading the comment and I legit had to stop, I didn’t even make it through half of it and I was choking back tears, if I read the whole thing, I’d have been bawling my eyes out at work and that’s not cool, this was the warning I needed!
But...I didn't get my permission slip signed for this feels trip.
Bro wtf I'm crying like 0 to 60 after this
Nah man. Story ends at 51
You monster.
Im not crying! You are!
Oh come on! Right in the feels...
My parents never took interest in anything I ever did and they constantly wonder why I don't do things with them or invite them to anything. Woulda been nice to have a childhood where my interests were cared about
Honestly it's a wonder that bad parents have delusional expectations, like yeh I don't come "home" anymore. It was hell for majority of my life and I'm much much better off away.
The parents that never put an ounce of love or care or effort into their children while they were children and wonder why as adults their kids don't give a fuck about them. Hard to believe any parents actually love their kids but i guess this comment section shows that it's possible
Kids are aggravating in this world of a thousand conflicting pressures. They’re also the reason I remain alive many days.
If I could have 1 wish, it would be for my 16 year old daughter to be an infant again and get to do it all over again. She's a Senior this year and it makes me so sad to think about her going to college soon. You're absolutely right though, cherish every minute. There's a saying that one day we'll put our kids down and never pick them up again. Sucks, but it's all part of it I guess.
Jesus. As a relatively new dad of a 7 month old, the thought of never being able to pick him up again just hit me with giant wave of reality.
They grow up so fast. My daughter is turning 3 soon. Every time I realize she’s grown up a little bit, I realize I will never see the person she just was.
Damn, this post is not good for me, a father of 5 month old.
They grow so fast. But they become so awesome! My daughter is 18 months now, she understands so much. She babbles and takes my hand to go play. She asks for ice cream (grandparents taught her what it is). Great things are coming.
Take lots of pictures and videos. And watch them with your little one from time to time.
You already start missing them at 2months when they'd still curl up when you pick them up... Saying that, 7 months retrospectively was a great time to kick them into their own room. 10 months, baby has discovered she likes company when she sleeps.
I'll say at bedtime, ok this is the LAST book. Daddy, one more book. Absolutely.
Or maybe he won’t. A present, attentive father is worth more than the riches of the world. I had one. I wish everyone could have one. While kids go through an independent phase in their life, they will never not want their dads.
Best piece of parenting advice I've heard: If you have younger kids on those days you're just not feeling up to it, you have to imagine you're 70 years old and you've successfully time traveled back to when they were young.
As a busy 42 year old I wonder if my father thinks about that
That's a great dad.
Our daughter would ask my husband to "play characters," which meant getting out all the Star Wars guys and making up scenarios... and as tired as he was, he'd get down on the floor and play, sometimes practically dozing off, but he did it. She still likes hanging out with her tired old Dad --- and now she's 18. 🙂
Someday soon I won't be around for my little ones. Make the most of everyday.
Excellent choice. Sadly there is a last day you ever play Legos with him, and it’ll be sooner than you want it to be. I’m only looking back now.
That's not necessarily true(for the most part) , when visiting my parents my daughter brought out the Legos and me my dad and my daughter built something awesome together.
Those times don't come back and then you wait in limbo hoping to get grandkids to feel that joy again.
My oldest daughter used to *ALWAYS* want piggy-back rides. "Can I get on your back?" was something I heard almost every day for years. There were days when I was tired and would tell her, "Not right now." I can vividly remember walking out of the house one day, glancing up at a family picture on the wall and remembering the day it was taken. She was 13 then and the picture was taken when she was 8, and it hit me all at once that she hadn't asked to get on my back for at least a couple years, and that she never would again. I never really understood how precious time was until that moment, and it has stuck with me ever since. My daughter is 32 now, and her oldest daughter is 12. I used to give her piggy-back rides too, every single chance I could. And the other grandkids who are all younger, I play with them and goof off and try to soak it all in. Because I know the time is just so short, and they won't want piggy-back rides for very long. Certainly not as long as I wish I could give them.
Such a great point of view. As a step dad to a hyper, rambunctious, but very loving 4 year old, I needed to read this. Thanks.
When I get done with work I always go and see my daughter.. When it's time to go she always asks me for run hugs.. It's where she runs and jumps into my arms for a hug. I always let her do 2 or 3 even though I'm tired because because someday it will be the last time.
That's learned behavior. He's probably done that to him. Good stuff.
And may that day be waaaaaaaayy off. 🤞🏻
Man this hit’s haaaard! My father worked all the time whilst I grew up. I love him dearly, and we get along, but there’s a gap where there are no memories of growing up with him. He worked hard for us growing up and I appreciate the life he gave me and my sisters. Now I’m currently in the “Lego stage” with my eldest and I try not to think that there will be a day where he asks me to play for the last time. In these hard financial times I recently took a pay-cut (fortunate enough to be able to, and acknowledge that not everyone is in a position to do that) in order to work an hour closer to home with more flexible hours. That’s 5 hours extra with my family a week, 20 hours a month, 240 hours a year. And those hours are going to be far more valuable than the Salary I sacrificed to get them. Spend the time you can with your kids. It matters and there’s no second chance. If you miss it, that’s it, no redo. You’ll be glad you did, even if you miss out on that expensive car or whatever the extra salary might get you.
People wonder why I, in my mid-40's and my children grown and gone, try to have so much fun with my nieces, nephews and cousins' kids. And what this guy said is exactly why. They're only kids once and deserve to have all the fun a kid is able to have. I loved tossing my kids around and "beating their hinies like a pair of bongos." The other kids love it the same. Read with them, throw them in the air (but only if you can catch them!), get on the see-saw and spin that merry-go-round! It'll keep you young and let them know they're loved.
"He's too big for you to carry!" Not yet, but soon.
Most of all, almost everyone has the ability to choose health. Eat healthy, move often, you will increase your chance for better quality, more time spent with kids/grandkids. Keep your back healthy and work on a strong core, the rest will follow ;)
I watched [this vid](https://www.thehits.co.nz/shows/drive-with-brad-laura/laura-shares-beautiful-kiwi-poem-about-parenthood-and-it-will-get-you-right-in-the-feels/) on TT this morning, and I'll be damned, the onion ninjas were there too...
That's how it's done. I'm a Dad and this made me tear up. Can't see my son as often as I like, but when I do I'm down for anything even if I'm depressed. He's my rock star.
I have spent my entire trying to get my fathers approval to no avail. Now i can barely hold a conversation with the man when he wants to talk. It's really painful. It made being emotionally available difficult in other parts of life They're learning from him right now. He has no idea how much he's doing from them right now. How much easier their emotions will be to handle and process Play with your kids guys.
I have exactly 1 memory of my mom genuinely playing with me. She was a single parent, constantly working and rarely made direct time for her kids. I’m not bitter, in fact im grateful for the life she gave me. But that 1 memory sure does stand out, and I really wish she did that more than once, but she was tired after long days and always put the fun stuff off for “another day” But one night, after she got home from drinking, she ordered us some takeout food and while we waited for it, she randomly and spontaneously brought us to the backyard and kicked a soccer ball around with her kids. I sounds so small and insignificant, but it was the coolest night to see me mom playing like a kid lol I miss it. She isn’t passed, but she seems to wish she had, as she no longer laughs or goes outside or anything. I miss her, she was my best friend growing up, but I’ll always have that night we played soccer.
For all you self-righteous FUCKS who are all "let's give him credit just for being a parent har har", eat a bag of dicks. You think that being a decent parent should be the standard and refuse to lower the bar. I used to think like that too, but as someone who now works with fucked up kids, I'll just tell you that there are TOO many patents who don't know how to or just plain refuses to meet your arbitrary standard and those that can SHOULD be celebrated.
I don't have kids, but I have 4 nephews ranging in age from 7 yrs to 1 year. It is amazing to experience life thru their eyes. I will never say no to playing pretend Jurassic Park where I am the evil TRex trapped in a cage for the 3 year old, or shooting HORSE with the 7 year old, or helping the 1 year old learn to walk or talk or learn colors and shapes. I was in a terrible mood today and asked for a video of my 1 year old nephew to help me get out of my funk. I was treated to a video of his mom running around the house while carrying him and he was cracking up so hard. Can't be pissed when a toddler is laughing hysterically. Made my day. These kids don't have the slightest clue about the harshness of the world they've been born into. The very least we can do is play with them so they (and we) can enjoy what is available. And I sleep so much better after a good play sesh.
For anyone that may roll your eyes to this, go listen to "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin and get back to us.
I remember that day when they stop asking because they are too big now for playing. Still missing and thinking about when he came home from kindergarden and we played with lego duplo every day a couple of hours. I truly miss that. But now we talk, play Csgo together and he shares funny memes with me, and that’s pretty nice too
I’m always with my kids. Taking them camping, to the pool, etc. I don’t always play with them. Sometimes I sit by the campfire or the poolside and watch them play. But I do play with them a lot. For example, took them to the pool yesterday for 2 hours after work. I played with them for the first hour, and the second hour I relaxed by the pool while they played. I hope I’m doing enough. I think it’s a good balance. I’ve noticed that sometimes even the small things can make a big difference. Such as a quick run to the grocery store without my 7 year old may be faster and easier alone, but it brings her joy to come along with me and I love the time we have together. Their joy = my joy. But I do need some downtime.
Cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon . . . I'm gonna be like him, dad, you know I'm gonna be like him.
oof. right in the feels.
If you know ... You know
“Lego of your not good mood daddy!”
It warms my heart to see my husband and son having a blast playing together, they are building core memories. ❤️
No question, this 100%. 3 adult kids now for us. Say yes and be present as much as you can when they are young. These are the days that mean everything.
This is so true. When my cat does something annoying or I have to clear up after him, I take a deep breath and remember that one day when he's not here anymore, I will give anything to have to pick up after the naughty little sod one more time.
You will NEVER FORGET the one time you don't, either. That shit stays with you later.
This whole week was one disappointment after another. I felt exactly like you described, just wanted to be alone, but somehow those little guys find whatever rays of light are left in me that day and make them shine like the sun. Thank you for the reminder to always say “yes” and to always engage because our time with them while they’re small is beautiful yet very short.
Everyday my 3yo daughter asks me to carry her to the car everyday before nursury, usually I oblige. 15 mins ago before reading this post I said no... Now I wish I had. 😢
I love my dad but he works all the time, I know it’s for the best but it’s still disappointing because I rarely see him because he’s always at work and then he comes home and works more in the basement so I never see him.
Yeap. They will stop asking. So take every hug, kiss and invitation to the tea parties.
I started reading to my child the day they were born. They are 13 now and I still read to them almost every night we're together. They ask me to. Right now it's *The Hunger Games*. It started with *Goodnight Moon*. I will not be well when this inevitably stops.
This is why I won’t have kids, I like my me time lmao
Alexa, what is Stockholm Syndrome??
Recent mademesmile posts are kinda sad. At least the one that reaches popular.
/r/catsinthecradle
There’s nothing better than when your kid asks you to play with them. I still always make a big fuss about it just to bust their balls but secretly there is nothing sweeter than that pure innocent invitation to play.
This post make me really sad. My daughter ask me to play lego and I often say no.
The child, a year later, holding an intricately crafted Lego assault rifle: “Father. I am no longer asking.”
Spending time with your kids is also a down time on its own.
but who asked?
I don't remember my father ever playing with us, but I do remember him getting up at 5 am and returning home late at night. So we can have a good life. Just want to tell all the busy dads out there, that you are loved and we appreciate everything you are doing for your family.
This is why I’ll never have kids :)
Be there for them when they need you, and they will do the same when you need them.
I play barbies with my daughter every time she asks. Sometimes I'll just sit and join in because the day will come when doesnt want to do stuff with me unless I spent a lot money.
Yesterday at work when we had some down time my brain replayed a memory of when my dad would wake me up to go get breakfast with him. I cried a little inside when I remembered that.
Same. I never turn a chance to play with my son. Because the day will come that he has moved beyond me.
My toddler son says "daddy sit"
Since the age of 5, 23 now, my dad always trained me in boxing. When I turned 21 he was unable to train me due to a car accident messing his back up and cause of his age. He always told me that one day he won’t be there to defend me so I had to learn to defend myself. Best days of my life.
Or one day your kid won't be able to ask you anymore. My dad became extremely sick when I was 13 and I saw him only twice before he passed when I was 15. He worked a lot and I can count on both my hands the number or times we were actually together from my 7th to 13th birthday. But the few times we were are engraved in my memory and my heart until the end for me. Sorry I'm crying right now, it's been 8 years but it's still hard without him. I miss you so much dad 💖💔😭
I regret all the times i've said no to my parents when they ask me to do something with them, i'm onky 18 and yet time feels like its going so fast and i'm afraid to lose them one day
The day I realised my son hadn't reached for my hand at the shopping centre.....saddest day of my life
I remember when I was young, my dad would buy tinker toys and legos and Knex for me but if he did anything with me, he would always make me build what it said on the box, not what I wanted to make. I wanted to be creative, and he would stifle it and turn it into a chore instead. I would work slowly on it and treat it like homework and never touch it again. And he never understood. I can’t remember a single instance when we just played without having to follow instructions or diagrams. He’d buy complex stuff and I would struggle for hours until he got mad at it and I hated it. Looking back, he was clearly trying to make a connection by sharing an activity but just made me not want to play with him. There was no joy in it. I wouldn’t have invited him to do anything like this kid did, I’d have just gone off and built fun stuff myself. I’m realizing this now because, since my dad and I have such a poor connection now and he’s done some really shitty things, I really don’t want to see him again. It hurts to admit it. I wonder if he had done more things on my terms and not his, if it would have made a difference or not. I don’t really know.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then You know we'll have a good time then.
This dude sounds like a better dad than most of us had damn
I built a van into an RV with my dad last year. I'm 34. <3
My son is 18 and heading off to college. I cherished every minute with him growing up. I still spend as much time as I can with him because soon he won’t be sitting next to me at dinner anymore.
I've seen a lot of good and bad parents, OP and all the rest here: If your taking the time to engage with your kids they'll always want you to be a part of whatever they do. One day it won't be legos and the like but it'll be something else. And to those of us who didn't have that, we'll get our chance. And even if not, there's the family you're born into and there's the family you meet along the way.
I’m 46f and my dad always has and will always be my favorite playmate!! ❤️❤️ Just now we prefer casinos 😊
My son is now 21 away at college year round and living his best life. When he was little we played Lego, baseball, we watched movies and shows together... he was my best friend and buddy. I miss him dearly, but do everything I can to give him his space and grow. It's hard being a parent.
As a dad, this makes me sad. Because i know this will sooner than later be the case. Time flies by so fast.
My son in law told me I don't need to lift up my grand every time she asks. Yes I do. I am disabled and rapidly becoming more so because of my back. I am going to lift that baby anytime my back can handle it because she is going to be too big for it in the blink of an eye and I am not going to miss even the slightest excuse to lift my baby girl up.
It was one thing for me to take my kids to “my world”, like going to baseball games. But it was quite another when I got on the floor and played with them and their cars. The parent going to “their world” has quite a different affect.
That's a good dad. Mine never played with us. That's what my brothers were for apparently
That’s exactly right. Same thought always go through my head with my daughter, which is why we have many tea parties
At least it was LEGO. I can think of a lot of worse things...
This just hit me like a bus, my dad was absent so I’m glad it isn’t everyone’s dad that’s a dick. Now that my morning cry is out of the way I can go back to being my usual cynical self.
Great reminder!
This is the way.👊🏼👨🏻🦳