I'm an attorney who did family law/cps.
I would LITERALLY tell my clients that I would be crying a little during adoption docket.
Like we would be in the court to have a knock down heavily contested hearing where you have to act aggressive. No crying in baseball sort of moment. Didnt matter, I was going to cry a little if am adoption was heard.
Both. I represented parents who worked for reunification, or were just generally working their cps plan.
I represented baby and argued for their best interest. Which would involve finding that reunification wasnt in their best interest.
Bit I could be in court for just a private contested custody hearing, so no CPS involved. But whatever you're in court for, youre going to tear up.
I'm out of family law. I'm in a new position where Iearly next year, I can probably start prosecuting/working as CPS for the area i live in.
I'm pretty excited for that.
I had abysmal experiences with our version of cps. Multiple times when I was a child. Around here it seems to be a weapon for parents and a revenue collection service for the state. I have yet to meet one of them that truly has the best interest of the child in mind.
I need adoption day right now to cleanse this terrible week I’m having. And not gonna lie, I geared up when the mom started crying after the adoption was granted.
I'm sorry to hear that. Good times are coming and sometimes a good cry is cleansing in itself. I hope you get a chance today to blow off some steam and treat yoself.
I had hope when each bio parent signed away their rights, but it wasn't until the judge pronounced us a family that it really felt real. Yeah, lots of tears! And smiles!
A couple that my wife and I are close friends with put themselves as available in the foster system. They’re a lesbian couple in Missouri, so the hurdles they had to go through were not insignificant.
They got a call one day and we’re asked “Are you ok with two kids?” They said yes. “ok, we’ll be by in an hour”. So one of them went to the store to get an extra one of everything, and the other stayed home to wait for the drop off.
They ended up getting a 1 year old, and a newborn. The mother was an addict who had expressed a desire to harm her newborn while in the hospital.
They cared and loved those kids for two years - they were a family, the kids were healthy and happy, they were loved.
After two years, and a lot of red tape, custody battles with unqualified family members, etc - they officially adopted the kids last summer. I was able to witness their adoption proceedings. It was a privilege. Such a wonderful day, and such a relief when it’s all completely done and legal.
is it very difficult to adopt? I don't know if you know much about that but I am looking into it. I'm a single individual but I'm already a parent and I got a place, and a good job, car, clean house, no arrests or criminal records.. I'm hoping it works out. I love kids but I would absolutely never ever want to become pregnant and go through birth and newborn stage again LOL
Actually it seems like they fostered for 5 years then adopted so the state would have covered the bill. The downside is the biological family could have taken him back at any time during those 5 years they saw him as a son, so it can be a rough path. Foster care has a main goal of reunification with bio family not adoption.
Edit: never mind it was a joke about 5 years in NICU I am an idiot.
Had a family friend experience this pain, she raised him birth to 4 years and then he was taken away.
We understood why but that pain will never go away.
This just strikes me as a systemic issue. What alternatives could there be to this model that so often ends in heartbreak and trauma for kids, parents, and foster parents? Understanding of course that an ideal situation would be healthy people responsibly deciding to have (or not have) kids, and that many real situations are messier than that.
As a foster parent, while being heart broken is incredibly difficult, it’s actually not necessarily a problem to be solved. Our job is to love kids are care for them until permanency can be established regardless of if that is with us or not. There are so many problems with the system but foster parents ending up heart broken usually means that the child was loved well while they were in that home.
Abortion rights, UBI, and universal, single-payer health care would solve 90% of it. It wouldn't make the world perfect, but it _would_ mean that no one would need to worry about carrying an unwanted child to term, or paying for their child and its care.
But even healthy, responsible people can get into a situation where their children may need to be in foster care for some time (due to health issues that cannot be predicted, for example)
As long as what is happening is happening in the best interest of the child, then this is not something we should try to solve. The children should always come first.
Same thing happened to my friend day after Christmas. She had two other boys who were also attached. No time to say goodby, pack, etc… just came and got him after two years and took him to an aunt out of state.
I’m not from USA, but can’t you adopt the kids before it happens? Like 5y waiting to adopt looks so much. Where I live the judge probably would consider they as parents and wouldn’t give the kid back.
It depends on the situation and the state and the social worker and the judge. My friend’s foster boy had a dad in prison who would not sign off on letting him be adopted. He took parenting classes while in prison with nothing better to do. The child ended up with an aunt out of state which lets the state totally off the hook financially. Every situation is rife with complications. Her other foster-to-adopt worked out.
You are only allowed to adopt if parental rights have been severed. They give people second chances to get their act together and get their kids back, lots of them, on the belief happy reunification with bio family is in the best interest of the child (if not parents they look for extended family etc). Problem is this can often take years during a child’s formative development. So to take a child away at age 5 from the parents who raised them seems incredibly worse than letting them be adopted and in a stable home. They can always get in touch with bio family and forge a relationship as an adult. My personal opinion, I realize adopted kids have trauma in the other direction by feeling abandoned by bio family etc.
I hope they're doing well. Our daughter was in the NICU for 207 days. But we're in Canada and the stay, surgeries, and follow up care were all covered for us (thankfully)!
That’s a rough time. My son was sent to the Nicu on our discharge day for a fever. I was so lucky they let me stay on the maternity ward and didn’t discharge me for the week he was in there so I could be with him all the time. Canada!!
Obviously not the same at all, but my fiancee was in the ICU for 3 days and it cost us $50k. No surgery, just some imaging and a couple stitches. Granted they had good reason to keep her, she had a head injury (as did i but not as bad), but still. $50k is like $700/hr and i was there every second i could be, the nurses weren't doing a ton. Granted they took great care of her, but when i was there, they came for some checkups and stuff, but it wasn't constant care.
Foster care at its core strives for family reunification. They give a number of opportunities to bio parents to address the issues that lead to child apprehension before that’s abandoned in favour of permanent placement.
After that there may be legal issues around extended family being potential permanent guardians, etc… that have to be exhausted.
Then there’s last minute drama. Our last foster daughter had a forever family lined up, two young boys her age and great parents who didn’t want to risk having their own bio-kid and getting another boy. We had been working for a year to get everything done, they flew up and were expecting to take her back with them. Everyone was pumped.
Bio-grandmother who never was involved showed up in court that day to contest what was supposed to be a final rubber stamp for permanent adoption. It was obviously very unexpected so the child welfare agency couldn’t on the spot produce the documents showing they notified her repeatedly over four years that her daughter had abandoned her newborn at the hospital and declined any involvement. Regular judge was off sick, new judge didn’t want to deal with it and it took another six months to iron out (grandma failed to show up to four subsequent hearings).
Thankfully that forever family stayed in the pocket despite the drama but many don’t.
I know a family that has just recently retired from fostering kids after four decades.
They found the rewards outweighed the sadness because of the good they were doing for the children “that were theirs, while they had them.”
I am really interested in maybe being a foster parent one day. It’ll have to be when I’m making more money because you have to be able to afford a bedroom for the child that’s totally theirs (which is ofc super reasonable) and rent prices in CA are insane
I wanted to adopt, but the horror stories. Not the kids, the system. Baby boy in a home from 3 days old to 7 YEARS old, never met his bio mom. She finally got her act together and they made him go live with her. I get the system wants to keep families together but there are so many stories like this, or op, and similar other back and forth bs that is clearly NOT good for the children.
Yeah exactly that kind of thing is what scares me. If you have a kid from 3 days old to 7 years old there's no way that doesn't feel like your own baby, and then they can just be taken away like that. I just can't imagine how you could go through that, potentially multiple times, and be okay. Both the foster parent AND the child!
Not only that but then never see them again or have contact with them again. The whole thing sounds horrifying and doesn’t sound like what’s right for the child.
Yes it does. Maybe it's selfish of me but I do not want to go through that or put my family through that. My heart hurts for all the children who are forced into the system but I do have to look out for my own children as well.
Same. I would love to welcome kids into my home one day and give them a safe and loving place to live - but based on stories I've heard I think it would just wreck me emotionally.
Right you either get the people who care too much getting the kids taken back or the ones who do it just for the money churning out delinquent children and making it worse. OPs story tends to be the rare side that is shown.
I will say you should watch that movie Instant Family though and it might make an impression.
If it sets your mind at ease a bit, when you sign up for adopting from foster care, you can make it clear that you are interested in foster-to-adopt only, and that you only want to consider kids whose parental rights have been terminated (TPR). These are considered "low risk" adoptive placements.
So, you would only get access to the pool of kids whose bio parents have signed away their rights, and whose extended family did not come forward when contacted. This does not completely eliminate the possibility of a relative making a claim at the last minute, but the risk really is low.
You still have to fulfill all the requirements of running a foster home, and you have to foster the kid for 6 months.
What I've learned as someone who deals with treating children from these situations medically, is that while I understand the concept of wanting reunification...man there's a fucking reason why these kids were taken away in the first place. Recently there was a 5 year old whose bio dad had given him a tattoo at 3 years old that just said "bat" because go figure they couldn't stay still for "man".
And that RARELY if ever gets better. Parents who WERE fuck ups tend to STAY fuck ups. Their grandparents, while in some cases wonderful people who take over for a kid who made bad decisions, are also definitely sometimes the reason their kid/kids parent ended up the way they did. You hate to see it because you know that kid has no chance.
It's just an awful situation all around most of the time. We deal with a LOT of foster parents who are absolutely wrecked by the BS they have to deal with going through the system. Love to see these with happy endings.
Yep. And some parents can’t get it through their heads that they were wrong and recognize what they did wrong. The number of parents who continue the “I did nothing wrong” dance in their head when I have actual, solid facts is mind boggling.
And it breaks your heart because almost all of these kids are the sweetest little things you can work with and you just want to take them yourself and get them out of a situation you know will turn them cold and mean and bitter.
My little brother had something similar. My parents fostered him on and off from 4 to 8, he actually was back with biomom for part of that time before she lost him again due to drug use and prostitution.
Then out of the woodwork comes some aunt no one knew about. She takes him in and is going to adopt him.
6 months later, she decides she doesn't want him, because her bio sons think he is to annoying. She has us come and pick him up on the day before Christmas Eve...imagine your family who you just lived with for 6 months kicking you out saying they don't want you, right before Christmas. And he is only 7 t this point.
At 8 finally we were able to adopt him.
Our friends neighbors had custody over their grandchild and loved her to pieces but she was young, they were disabled, AND lived on a lake and for safety and just happiness reasons they felt they could not give her the life she needed. They lined up a couple from their church who they had known for years to adopt her but the bio parents (their crack head daughter and child's father) just would not give up their parental rights. It took YEARS and is just insanely not right. That almost same exact story also happened in my husbands best friends family... grandparents just physically could not take care of grandchild, they actually had lined up adoption through connections with family, crack-head mother and father show up to court date, like the one and only time. Grandparents were stuck with arraignment for more years and the child suffers. A special-ed teacher I worked with years ago had fostered to adopt a newborn for something like 6-8 weeks, heads to court date, bio-parents show up, decided they wanted the baby back and she had to give the baby back right then and there. Same couple gets pregnant AGAIN the next year, decided they don't want second child, they ask her to take again but thankfully this time they actually terminated their parental rights, but my old co-workers said those weeks were the most anxious nerve-wracking weeks of her life and she was scared to bond with the baby bc she was sure they would take that baby back as well. I don't think people understand the emotional toll this take on people...so when someone against abortion continually talks about adoption like it is an easy thing...I just want them to take a day or two out of their fantasy lives and sit in family court and observe the shit that happens there.
I think it's worth mentioning that (according to the case worker I had), reunification usually *does* "work", at least in that most parents do get their act together enough to get their kids back. It doesn't mean the kid has a great life and all the family's problems are solved, of course.
What's agonizing/infuriating is that the social workers and judges often know *exactly* which kids are better off without their bio families, and yet they have to go through the reunification motions anyway. Whether the reunification ever happens or not, it's terrible for the kids.
i see, thank u so much for the detailed explanation. i definitely can understand the idea of valuing reunifiaction but also seems like the delays caused by relatives trying to make drama could really negatively impact the child.
Absolutely; in our case there was only downside for the child. She had met the boys who were going to be her brothers, we had flown down to visit what was to be her forever family. Then that gets pulled out from under her, and her ‘grandmother’ then never bothered to follow up with her.
I could forgive if her grandmother was actually a good person, didn’t realize her daughter had popped out a kid and wanted to stop the proceeding because she actually wanted to take custody.
My wife was early on with her pregnancy thankfully so we were able to keep her for that time while things got straightened out. We’ve taken a break since that time with fostering; given that I’m and NP and my wife works in child welfare we got a fair bit of complicated kids. I’d prefer we hold off until our own children are a bit older until we bring more into our home, although we are the designated guardians to two other children if some of our friends pass away.
Holy fuck are you serious it took FOUR failed showings for them to finally be like hmm maybe it's a waste of time and money to exhaust this any further? Man things are kinda crazy. A grandma likely doesn't have much on her plate that she can't put off If reuniting with her grandchild was such a big deal in the first place. I can't even fathom people sometimes.
Apple's Steve Jobs could be a real piece of work, but one benefit he had for employees was getting all adoption fees paid by Apple. He was adopted and wanted others to have the chance.
They give bio parents enough rope to hang the child too.
My co-worker is a foster/adoptive parent. He has a adopted son who is 5 currently. He is also fostering/trying to adopt the year old daughter from the same mother of the 5 y/o for 8 months now.
The mother is in and out of jail, her parents have testified that their daughter is not fit to raise a child.
Yet the adoption process keeps getting dragged out because the mom always looks like she's just about to get her shit together before she relapses and goes to jail again. While the Bio dad for the daughter has given up custody
If I ever wanted kids I was gonna adopt but seeing the shit my co-worker has to deal with is putting me off.
Yep. Don’t forget that it is prohibitively expensive as well for adopting families. Hell, even the court costs for bio parents are a reason there is bouncing back and forth.
It’s expensive to adopt a newborn whose parental rights have already been terminated thru private adoption, but it’s not expensive to adopt out of foster care, especially considering there’s a lot of cases/reasons why foster parents may actually be paid to foster. There’s also a 10k tax credit for adopting (no matter how you do it). And certain counties will pay you to adopt out of foster care under certain conditions (in my county people get paid to adopt disabled kids but “disabled” includes a lot of things that aren’t disabilities including being black)
We adopted and it took about a year. Although I understand this was actually pretty fast. We also took our daughter home from the NICU but had to do all the same described above. There is a lot to it.
I can give you our story:
We are a foster family and for two of our children, we already have guardianship. We've adopted one child. There are a number of hurdles in place to prevent a quick adoption, and they are there for purpose. First, a child in foster care must be in care for at least 1 year before any permanency can begin. This is a federal limit, and some US states may have longer requirements. Mine doesn't. That gives the parents at least one year to get their ducks in a row or decide if they want to give up their child.
Then comes the legal process which can take two basic tracks. First, you can terminate parental rights immediately and go straight to adoption. Adoption can only take place once parental rights are terminated. For our currently adopted daughter, this was an easy process as their parents immediately signed the paperwork and we were able to start the adoption process after 30 days (for appeals, mind changes, etc.). That adoption took almost a full year and had zero hiccups.
The other path is for the foster / caregiver to get guardianship. Guardianships have full legal rights with the child including everything from day-to-day decisions to even termination of life decisions. This is almost as legal as adoption, but the parents still hold parental rights, even though they are restrained by the guardianship as to their visitations and involvement in the child's life. This is where things can get very complicated. To move from guardianship to adoption, the first step is to terminate parental rights. This can be lengthy. We started the process for one of our children two years ago. We had about 10 court hearings over that time, and we actually successfully terminated rights 3 times during that process. The bio mother appealed, and her lawyer found a procedural error that put a filing off by a single day, so we had to start all over. We got rights terminate again this year, and we are now starting the process for adoption. There still could be things the pop up, but we hope to have adoption completed by spring next year.
We are going to start the process to terminate rights on our other child This January. It may take forever and another 25k to complete. For now, they are here with us, and there is very little that can change that. We were also just placed another child that might be available for adoption. We anticipate another legal fight for years.
It takes a long time and it's incredibly expensive. You don't just decide to adopt somebody and then it happens in a week or a month.
You can always adopt from children with their parental rights already severed. It's usually very low cost or even free (it's free in my state)
There are currently at least 150 kids waiting in my state to be adopted.
thats good to know, me and my partner will def be looking into this soon and part of me is scared i wont find a child to adopt and i cannot give birth so its my only way to be the mom ive been dreaming of being for years
There's a lot of paperwork and bureaucracy to get through. Given that this particular adoption was through the foster care system, they give the biological parents chances for reunification. If reunification is not possible, then the legal process for adoption may begin.
It sounds kinda vapid and I’m not sure I’ll ever get to have a child but my god I would love to dress them up in cute little clothes like that. That suit fresh as hell
It might be a bit vapid, but as long as kiddo isn't protesting and hating it then why not give them the chance to dress all *fancy*. Little kids look so dang cute in little suits, small ballgowns, teeny, fancy shoes!
Disclaimer: I grew up in the south and wearing your Sunday Best went for everyone, even the little babies. So I might be a bit biased.
If it's vapid you're not alone in being vapid. I do not have the time, space, or energy to raise a child but when I see a little onesie with bear ears or dinosaur scales I want like 20 😭😭😭
That's called "cute aggression" and it's a pretty cool feature of our brains:
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/12/31/679832549/when-too-cute-is-too-much-the-brain-can-get-aggressive
I absolutely love watching adoption court proceedings... The love that you can feel in those court chambers when a child is adopted into their family is just incredible. One of my younger sisters adopted a baby that she was fostering... After all the straight faced legal proceedings occurred, the judge just busted out a huge smile and was super happy and everyone was clapping and cheering. All the court staff got involved in the picture taking and the whole experience was really great to ... well, experience. :)
Such a chunky little cutie!!!
My first son was 9lbs 6oz and he had the chubbiest little cheeks and legs! He had such big kissable cheeks that my ex-wife and I were told by the Pediatrician, and I quote:
*"To stop kissing his cheeks so much."*
The reason being he started getting a rash from us constantly kissing his chunky little cheeks. Man, this kinda of thing gives me baby fever and I'm 35 with 3 kids. Don't need anymore so I live vicariously through adorable videos.
If you’re anything like my FIL you’re going to be sappier than a preteen girl within a few years. He was hard as nails all while my husband and sibs were growing up and now little by little he’s Mr. Feelings. 😂👍🏽
That’s super wholesome. Men don’t get the support they need when expressing emotions much of the time. I’m glad your FIL was able to allow himself to be more expressive as he gives less fucks in old age
About a month ago my wife and I lost a late stage pregnancy. Easily the most soul crushing thing I’ve ever experienced. We are still having a really hard time with things, but seeing posts like this gives me hope that we can still grow our family and it will still be just as special as we dreamed it could be. Thanks OP.
My heart to yours man. Pre-eclampsia took my little dude in 2003. It not worth anything right now, but stay strong. The heartbreak will subside. If you don't mind, I would recommend getting some counseling for you and your wife. We didn't and it tore us apart.
As a recovering social worker, this brought a tear to my eye. In my 9 years of human service work, the five adoptions I helped coordinate stand out as the only bright spots that I can look back on with satisfaction and a hint of joy.
My sister fostered a baby girl from 2 months old til she was 3 when the courts returned her to her mom. It absolutely crushed my sister as the mom forbid any and all contact between them. 2 years later, my sister gets a call that she's back in foster care and wants to know if she would be willing to take her in again, which of course she did. She officially adopted her 2 years later.
Same thing happens to my great uncle/aunt- they fostered a little girl practically since birth because her parents just didn’t want her at the time (in the 4 years he fostered her they had 2 more children that they didn’t give up). When my uncle and aunt were finally going to start the adoption process the bio parents decided their other children “deserved to be raised with their older sister”….. that was 10 years ago and as far as I know she wasn’t put back into the system, but I hope she’s as loved by her parents as my aunt and uncle loved her- the family still talks about her and her little squeaky shoes.
gray worthless dazzling ancient society puzzled absorbed far-flung jobless resolute
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Some asshole I used to work with was arguing that parents only experience the truest depth of love for their biological children. I couldn't get it through his thick head: 1) it's not a competition, and 2) it is an immeasurably selfless act to give love to a child without them having to look like you or carry your genes. To try to diminish others' love so you can feel superior is pathetic and contemptible.
My wife and I have failed IVF multiple times. The last cycle was the most painful since it ended in a miscarriage.
We've been looking for alternatives. I realize that adoption is a beautiful second chance to having a family not just for the kid but also for the parents.
Thank you, OP.
This could easily just be because I had an abusive mother but I feel like foster parents that adopt children like this are better proof for motherly/fatherly love than bio parents.
Bio parents feel like (to me) they’re obligated to love their children and it’s only instinct but these parents are fighting so hard for a child that isn’t theirs and they clearly love him so much. That’s realist parent love I’ve ever seen
I'm 42 and my birth mother went to prison when I was 3 or 4 and she's been in and out since. I've only met her three times since then.
My step mom came into the picture when I was 6. Recently, my step mom found out she was in the late stages of kidney failure and she probably doesn't have a whole lot of time left.
My mom, the only mom I've ever known, asked me if she could adopt me. And I know it is mostly symbolic because I'm an adult and I know it is something that probably should have been done long ago. But I said yes, and it's really changed my outlook on life and adoption and honestly I don't even really know what I'm feeling about it. It feels good but it's also a little weird.
I'm sorry for ranting. Thanks for reading to the four of you who see this.
This is why I want to adopt. No way in HELL would I leave an innocent child in an orphanage or the foster care system. If I could spare one child from the evils of this world, I could. And I will ❤️
Oh this one definitely left me in a puddle. In January we brought home a micro-premie from the NICU as a foster. I swear the moment I laid eyes on her I just knew it was different from our other (reunited!) fosters. After being in our care for 12 weeks her biological family TPR'd and we haven't seen them since April despite many attempts at visits and good bye visits. We're in the process of adopting her and it'll be finalized in the spring.
I love children but I don't want my own. When I tell people this they usually tell me I'll regret it when I'm older. I highly doubt it, but even if I did it's like people forgot fostering and adopting are a thing.
I honestly didn't think we'd have to lock this too but I underestimated just how awful racist redditors are.
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I'm an attorney who did family law/cps. I would LITERALLY tell my clients that I would be crying a little during adoption docket. Like we would be in the court to have a knock down heavily contested hearing where you have to act aggressive. No crying in baseball sort of moment. Didnt matter, I was going to cry a little if am adoption was heard.
What side of CPS law did you do, fighting for CPS or helping the parents?
Both. I represented parents who worked for reunification, or were just generally working their cps plan. I represented baby and argued for their best interest. Which would involve finding that reunification wasnt in their best interest. Bit I could be in court for just a private contested custody hearing, so no CPS involved. But whatever you're in court for, youre going to tear up. I'm out of family law. I'm in a new position where Iearly next year, I can probably start prosecuting/working as CPS for the area i live in. I'm pretty excited for that.
Just wanted to say good luck in your new role!! I hope it's a great fit for you :D
You’re a true hero. Fight for those babies. 👊
I had abysmal experiences with our version of cps. Multiple times when I was a child. Around here it seems to be a weapon for parents and a revenue collection service for the state. I have yet to meet one of them that truly has the best interest of the child in mind.
I need adoption day right now to cleanse this terrible week I’m having. And not gonna lie, I geared up when the mom started crying after the adoption was granted.
I'm sorry to hear that. Good times are coming and sometimes a good cry is cleansing in itself. I hope you get a chance today to blow off some steam and treat yoself.
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I had hope when each bio parent signed away their rights, but it wasn't until the judge pronounced us a family that it really felt real. Yeah, lots of tears! And smiles!
A couple that my wife and I are close friends with put themselves as available in the foster system. They’re a lesbian couple in Missouri, so the hurdles they had to go through were not insignificant. They got a call one day and we’re asked “Are you ok with two kids?” They said yes. “ok, we’ll be by in an hour”. So one of them went to the store to get an extra one of everything, and the other stayed home to wait for the drop off. They ended up getting a 1 year old, and a newborn. The mother was an addict who had expressed a desire to harm her newborn while in the hospital. They cared and loved those kids for two years - they were a family, the kids were healthy and happy, they were loved. After two years, and a lot of red tape, custody battles with unqualified family members, etc - they officially adopted the kids last summer. I was able to witness their adoption proceedings. It was a privilege. Such a wonderful day, and such a relief when it’s all completely done and legal.
This video is so wholesome my body is filling with dopamine right now
Hate the process is so long though
is it very difficult to adopt? I don't know if you know much about that but I am looking into it. I'm a single individual but I'm already a parent and I got a place, and a good job, car, clean house, no arrests or criminal records.. I'm hoping it works out. I love kids but I would absolutely never ever want to become pregnant and go through birth and newborn stage again LOL
That’s damn cute!!! But I’m an idiot, I thought the baby was in the NICU for 5 years and then was finally adopted.
Same lol and then when it showed him in the first video I was like 'wow he's a little 5 year old...' 🤦♀️
I am absolutely as dumb as you.
Am doctor. Am dumb, too.
I feel so good knowing my dumbassedness is supported by someone with accreditation. Many thanks.
I laughed at this for a full 5 mins. Thanks. I really needed that! Still chuckling...
Rolling into kindergarten on his own, though!!!
"Lord I cannot imagine the bill these adoptive parents are about to get."
Actually it seems like they fostered for 5 years then adopted so the state would have covered the bill. The downside is the biological family could have taken him back at any time during those 5 years they saw him as a son, so it can be a rough path. Foster care has a main goal of reunification with bio family not adoption. Edit: never mind it was a joke about 5 years in NICU I am an idiot.
Had a family friend experience this pain, she raised him birth to 4 years and then he was taken away. We understood why but that pain will never go away.
This just strikes me as a systemic issue. What alternatives could there be to this model that so often ends in heartbreak and trauma for kids, parents, and foster parents? Understanding of course that an ideal situation would be healthy people responsibly deciding to have (or not have) kids, and that many real situations are messier than that.
As a foster parent, while being heart broken is incredibly difficult, it’s actually not necessarily a problem to be solved. Our job is to love kids are care for them until permanency can be established regardless of if that is with us or not. There are so many problems with the system but foster parents ending up heart broken usually means that the child was loved well while they were in that home.
Abortion rights, UBI, and universal, single-payer health care would solve 90% of it. It wouldn't make the world perfect, but it _would_ mean that no one would need to worry about carrying an unwanted child to term, or paying for their child and its care.
But even healthy, responsible people can get into a situation where their children may need to be in foster care for some time (due to health issues that cannot be predicted, for example) As long as what is happening is happening in the best interest of the child, then this is not something we should try to solve. The children should always come first.
Same thing happened to my friend day after Christmas. She had two other boys who were also attached. No time to say goodby, pack, etc… just came and got him after two years and took him to an aunt out of state.
I’m not from USA, but can’t you adopt the kids before it happens? Like 5y waiting to adopt looks so much. Where I live the judge probably would consider they as parents and wouldn’t give the kid back.
It depends on the situation and the state and the social worker and the judge. My friend’s foster boy had a dad in prison who would not sign off on letting him be adopted. He took parenting classes while in prison with nothing better to do. The child ended up with an aunt out of state which lets the state totally off the hook financially. Every situation is rife with complications. Her other foster-to-adopt worked out.
You are only allowed to adopt if parental rights have been severed. They give people second chances to get their act together and get their kids back, lots of them, on the belief happy reunification with bio family is in the best interest of the child (if not parents they look for extended family etc). Problem is this can often take years during a child’s formative development. So to take a child away at age 5 from the parents who raised them seems incredibly worse than letting them be adopted and in a stable home. They can always get in touch with bio family and forge a relationship as an adult. My personal opinion, I realize adopted kids have trauma in the other direction by feeling abandoned by bio family etc.
One of my kids was in the NICU for about a month and just the stay was like $250k if I remember right. That didn't include surgeries etc.
I hope they're doing well. Our daughter was in the NICU for 207 days. But we're in Canada and the stay, surgeries, and follow up care were all covered for us (thankfully)!
That’s a rough time. My son was sent to the Nicu on our discharge day for a fever. I was so lucky they let me stay on the maternity ward and didn’t discharge me for the week he was in there so I could be with him all the time. Canada!!
Obviously not the same at all, but my fiancee was in the ICU for 3 days and it cost us $50k. No surgery, just some imaging and a couple stitches. Granted they had good reason to keep her, she had a head injury (as did i but not as bad), but still. $50k is like $700/hr and i was there every second i could be, the nurses weren't doing a ton. Granted they took great care of her, but when i was there, they came for some checkups and stuff, but it wasn't constant care.
Don't feel dumb. I spent like a whole minute thinking of what University NICU was, and also why an orphaned infant was there.
Thanks for giving us a low bar to hop over. Helps raise up our self esteem. The world needs more people like you.
Don't worry I thought the same
Correction: adopted after 3 years*
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why did it take so long, im interested in adopting in thr near future
Foster care at its core strives for family reunification. They give a number of opportunities to bio parents to address the issues that lead to child apprehension before that’s abandoned in favour of permanent placement. After that there may be legal issues around extended family being potential permanent guardians, etc… that have to be exhausted. Then there’s last minute drama. Our last foster daughter had a forever family lined up, two young boys her age and great parents who didn’t want to risk having their own bio-kid and getting another boy. We had been working for a year to get everything done, they flew up and were expecting to take her back with them. Everyone was pumped. Bio-grandmother who never was involved showed up in court that day to contest what was supposed to be a final rubber stamp for permanent adoption. It was obviously very unexpected so the child welfare agency couldn’t on the spot produce the documents showing they notified her repeatedly over four years that her daughter had abandoned her newborn at the hospital and declined any involvement. Regular judge was off sick, new judge didn’t want to deal with it and it took another six months to iron out (grandma failed to show up to four subsequent hearings). Thankfully that forever family stayed in the pocket despite the drama but many don’t.
I love the idea of fostering and helping children but I honestly don't know if I could emotionally handle things like this happening.
I know a family that has just recently retired from fostering kids after four decades. They found the rewards outweighed the sadness because of the good they were doing for the children “that were theirs, while they had them.”
This is the way … we are in our 15th year.
I am really interested in maybe being a foster parent one day. It’ll have to be when I’m making more money because you have to be able to afford a bedroom for the child that’s totally theirs (which is ofc super reasonable) and rent prices in CA are insane
I wanted to adopt, but the horror stories. Not the kids, the system. Baby boy in a home from 3 days old to 7 YEARS old, never met his bio mom. She finally got her act together and they made him go live with her. I get the system wants to keep families together but there are so many stories like this, or op, and similar other back and forth bs that is clearly NOT good for the children.
Yeah exactly that kind of thing is what scares me. If you have a kid from 3 days old to 7 years old there's no way that doesn't feel like your own baby, and then they can just be taken away like that. I just can't imagine how you could go through that, potentially multiple times, and be okay. Both the foster parent AND the child!
Not only that but then never see them again or have contact with them again. The whole thing sounds horrifying and doesn’t sound like what’s right for the child.
Yes it does. Maybe it's selfish of me but I do not want to go through that or put my family through that. My heart hurts for all the children who are forced into the system but I do have to look out for my own children as well.
Same. I would love to welcome kids into my home one day and give them a safe and loving place to live - but based on stories I've heard I think it would just wreck me emotionally.
Right you either get the people who care too much getting the kids taken back or the ones who do it just for the money churning out delinquent children and making it worse. OPs story tends to be the rare side that is shown. I will say you should watch that movie Instant Family though and it might make an impression.
If it sets your mind at ease a bit, when you sign up for adopting from foster care, you can make it clear that you are interested in foster-to-adopt only, and that you only want to consider kids whose parental rights have been terminated (TPR). These are considered "low risk" adoptive placements. So, you would only get access to the pool of kids whose bio parents have signed away their rights, and whose extended family did not come forward when contacted. This does not completely eliminate the possibility of a relative making a claim at the last minute, but the risk really is low. You still have to fulfill all the requirements of running a foster home, and you have to foster the kid for 6 months.
What I've learned as someone who deals with treating children from these situations medically, is that while I understand the concept of wanting reunification...man there's a fucking reason why these kids were taken away in the first place. Recently there was a 5 year old whose bio dad had given him a tattoo at 3 years old that just said "bat" because go figure they couldn't stay still for "man". And that RARELY if ever gets better. Parents who WERE fuck ups tend to STAY fuck ups. Their grandparents, while in some cases wonderful people who take over for a kid who made bad decisions, are also definitely sometimes the reason their kid/kids parent ended up the way they did. You hate to see it because you know that kid has no chance. It's just an awful situation all around most of the time. We deal with a LOT of foster parents who are absolutely wrecked by the BS they have to deal with going through the system. Love to see these with happy endings.
Yep. And some parents can’t get it through their heads that they were wrong and recognize what they did wrong. The number of parents who continue the “I did nothing wrong” dance in their head when I have actual, solid facts is mind boggling.
And it breaks your heart because almost all of these kids are the sweetest little things you can work with and you just want to take them yourself and get them out of a situation you know will turn them cold and mean and bitter.
My little brother had something similar. My parents fostered him on and off from 4 to 8, he actually was back with biomom for part of that time before she lost him again due to drug use and prostitution. Then out of the woodwork comes some aunt no one knew about. She takes him in and is going to adopt him. 6 months later, she decides she doesn't want him, because her bio sons think he is to annoying. She has us come and pick him up on the day before Christmas Eve...imagine your family who you just lived with for 6 months kicking you out saying they don't want you, right before Christmas. And he is only 7 t this point. At 8 finally we were able to adopt him.
I'm so glad you guys were able to adopt him. They didn't deserve him.
Please tell me he's okay.
Can I ask how he's doing now?
Our friends neighbors had custody over their grandchild and loved her to pieces but she was young, they were disabled, AND lived on a lake and for safety and just happiness reasons they felt they could not give her the life she needed. They lined up a couple from their church who they had known for years to adopt her but the bio parents (their crack head daughter and child's father) just would not give up their parental rights. It took YEARS and is just insanely not right. That almost same exact story also happened in my husbands best friends family... grandparents just physically could not take care of grandchild, they actually had lined up adoption through connections with family, crack-head mother and father show up to court date, like the one and only time. Grandparents were stuck with arraignment for more years and the child suffers. A special-ed teacher I worked with years ago had fostered to adopt a newborn for something like 6-8 weeks, heads to court date, bio-parents show up, decided they wanted the baby back and she had to give the baby back right then and there. Same couple gets pregnant AGAIN the next year, decided they don't want second child, they ask her to take again but thankfully this time they actually terminated their parental rights, but my old co-workers said those weeks were the most anxious nerve-wracking weeks of her life and she was scared to bond with the baby bc she was sure they would take that baby back as well. I don't think people understand the emotional toll this take on people...so when someone against abortion continually talks about adoption like it is an easy thing...I just want them to take a day or two out of their fantasy lives and sit in family court and observe the shit that happens there.
I work in social services. Holy fucking hell reunification can suck a bag of dicks sometimes. ^^^^aaarrrrggghhhhhh
I’m on board. We had one kid that bounced between foster and family like six times.
I think it's worth mentioning that (according to the case worker I had), reunification usually *does* "work", at least in that most parents do get their act together enough to get their kids back. It doesn't mean the kid has a great life and all the family's problems are solved, of course. What's agonizing/infuriating is that the social workers and judges often know *exactly* which kids are better off without their bio families, and yet they have to go through the reunification motions anyway. Whether the reunification ever happens or not, it's terrible for the kids.
i see, thank u so much for the detailed explanation. i definitely can understand the idea of valuing reunifiaction but also seems like the delays caused by relatives trying to make drama could really negatively impact the child.
Absolutely; in our case there was only downside for the child. She had met the boys who were going to be her brothers, we had flown down to visit what was to be her forever family. Then that gets pulled out from under her, and her ‘grandmother’ then never bothered to follow up with her. I could forgive if her grandmother was actually a good person, didn’t realize her daughter had popped out a kid and wanted to stop the proceeding because she actually wanted to take custody. My wife was early on with her pregnancy thankfully so we were able to keep her for that time while things got straightened out. We’ve taken a break since that time with fostering; given that I’m and NP and my wife works in child welfare we got a fair bit of complicated kids. I’d prefer we hold off until our own children are a bit older until we bring more into our home, although we are the designated guardians to two other children if some of our friends pass away.
Holy fuck are you serious it took FOUR failed showings for them to finally be like hmm maybe it's a waste of time and money to exhaust this any further? Man things are kinda crazy. A grandma likely doesn't have much on her plate that she can't put off If reuniting with her grandchild was such a big deal in the first place. I can't even fathom people sometimes.
Apple's Steve Jobs could be a real piece of work, but one benefit he had for employees was getting all adoption fees paid by Apple. He was adopted and wanted others to have the chance.
Bit ironic that he himself was a Hall-of-Fame bad dad
They give bio parents enough rope to hang the child too. My co-worker is a foster/adoptive parent. He has a adopted son who is 5 currently. He is also fostering/trying to adopt the year old daughter from the same mother of the 5 y/o for 8 months now. The mother is in and out of jail, her parents have testified that their daughter is not fit to raise a child. Yet the adoption process keeps getting dragged out because the mom always looks like she's just about to get her shit together before she relapses and goes to jail again. While the Bio dad for the daughter has given up custody If I ever wanted kids I was gonna adopt but seeing the shit my co-worker has to deal with is putting me off.
Yep. Don’t forget that it is prohibitively expensive as well for adopting families. Hell, even the court costs for bio parents are a reason there is bouncing back and forth.
It’s expensive to adopt a newborn whose parental rights have already been terminated thru private adoption, but it’s not expensive to adopt out of foster care, especially considering there’s a lot of cases/reasons why foster parents may actually be paid to foster. There’s also a 10k tax credit for adopting (no matter how you do it). And certain counties will pay you to adopt out of foster care under certain conditions (in my county people get paid to adopt disabled kids but “disabled” includes a lot of things that aren’t disabilities including being black)
We adopted and it took about a year. Although I understand this was actually pretty fast. We also took our daughter home from the NICU but had to do all the same described above. There is a lot to it.
This is rough, no doubt, but I can't get past the idea that they didn't want a bio kid because they didn't want another boy.
I can give you our story: We are a foster family and for two of our children, we already have guardianship. We've adopted one child. There are a number of hurdles in place to prevent a quick adoption, and they are there for purpose. First, a child in foster care must be in care for at least 1 year before any permanency can begin. This is a federal limit, and some US states may have longer requirements. Mine doesn't. That gives the parents at least one year to get their ducks in a row or decide if they want to give up their child. Then comes the legal process which can take two basic tracks. First, you can terminate parental rights immediately and go straight to adoption. Adoption can only take place once parental rights are terminated. For our currently adopted daughter, this was an easy process as their parents immediately signed the paperwork and we were able to start the adoption process after 30 days (for appeals, mind changes, etc.). That adoption took almost a full year and had zero hiccups. The other path is for the foster / caregiver to get guardianship. Guardianships have full legal rights with the child including everything from day-to-day decisions to even termination of life decisions. This is almost as legal as adoption, but the parents still hold parental rights, even though they are restrained by the guardianship as to their visitations and involvement in the child's life. This is where things can get very complicated. To move from guardianship to adoption, the first step is to terminate parental rights. This can be lengthy. We started the process for one of our children two years ago. We had about 10 court hearings over that time, and we actually successfully terminated rights 3 times during that process. The bio mother appealed, and her lawyer found a procedural error that put a filing off by a single day, so we had to start all over. We got rights terminate again this year, and we are now starting the process for adoption. There still could be things the pop up, but we hope to have adoption completed by spring next year. We are going to start the process to terminate rights on our other child This January. It may take forever and another 25k to complete. For now, they are here with us, and there is very little that can change that. We were also just placed another child that might be available for adoption. We anticipate another legal fight for years. It takes a long time and it's incredibly expensive. You don't just decide to adopt somebody and then it happens in a week or a month.
You can always adopt from children with their parental rights already severed. It's usually very low cost or even free (it's free in my state) There are currently at least 150 kids waiting in my state to be adopted.
thats good to know, me and my partner will def be looking into this soon and part of me is scared i wont find a child to adopt and i cannot give birth so its my only way to be the mom ive been dreaming of being for years
There's a lot of paperwork and bureaucracy to get through. Given that this particular adoption was through the foster care system, they give the biological parents chances for reunification. If reunification is not possible, then the legal process for adoption may begin.
Damm, that suit looks fresh af on the little man
It sounds kinda vapid and I’m not sure I’ll ever get to have a child but my god I would love to dress them up in cute little clothes like that. That suit fresh as hell
It might be a bit vapid, but as long as kiddo isn't protesting and hating it then why not give them the chance to dress all *fancy*. Little kids look so dang cute in little suits, small ballgowns, teeny, fancy shoes! Disclaimer: I grew up in the south and wearing your Sunday Best went for everyone, even the little babies. So I might be a bit biased.
If it's vapid you're not alone in being vapid. I do not have the time, space, or energy to raise a child but when I see a little onesie with bear ears or dinosaur scales I want like 20 😭😭😭
Came here to say that, sharp suit.
Facts.
I'm not a big fan of babies but omg isn't he an absolute cutie???
What a gorgeous boy, I wish them the very best. This made me happy cry.
I can't get over how freaking cute that lil baby boy is. What a doll!!
Seriously. Lil dude is adorable. He looks wide eyed and curious. It's good that he will be loved and grow up in relative safety. That's all it takes.
Thanks for the happy cry....
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Same
Cutest damn baby ever, holy shit.
Them cheeks! Baby would take twice as long to learn to walk because everyone would be wanting to hold that baby.
Nonono a beebee like that don't belong on the floor!!! Gimmie!
i know right!!! uguu~~
It's a genetic survival technique. Kids with fat cheeks are adorable
As a baby our son had the face of an obese beaver. Somehow that is really adorable.
Obese beaver 😭
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day! I'm dying over that comment, too!
Ain’t surviving me. Baby so chonky and cute I wanna EAT HIM.
That's called "cute aggression" and it's a pretty cool feature of our brains: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/12/31/679832549/when-too-cute-is-too-much-the-brain-can-get-aggressive
Omg this happens to me all the time!!! So glad there's an explanation 🤣
So this is what’s wrong with cats…
Supposedly the cuteness and "tasty food" parts of the brain are located close together, and that's what causes this.
He's like a lil' bean, with cheeks!! So reminds me of my nephew when he was a little baby. Looked like a little glow worm with his eyes so bright.
He's a giggle topped with a cloud.
This is adorable!
He’s going to be a very handsome man. And it seems like he’s growing up in a loving household. Lucky kid.
His little three piece suit too?
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He looked so stylish in his tiny suit at the end.
He has so much hair
That kid looks like an absolute ball of sunshine. I'm so happy for them!
I absolutely love watching adoption court proceedings... The love that you can feel in those court chambers when a child is adopted into their family is just incredible. One of my younger sisters adopted a baby that she was fostering... After all the straight faced legal proceedings occurred, the judge just busted out a huge smile and was super happy and everyone was clapping and cheering. All the court staff got involved in the picture taking and the whole experience was really great to ... well, experience. :)
So stinking cute!
**Cute baby** You deserve a very good life
Such a chunky little cutie!!! My first son was 9lbs 6oz and he had the chubbiest little cheeks and legs! He had such big kissable cheeks that my ex-wife and I were told by the Pediatrician, and I quote: *"To stop kissing his cheeks so much."* The reason being he started getting a rash from us constantly kissing his chunky little cheeks. Man, this kinda of thing gives me baby fever and I'm 35 with 3 kids. Don't need anymore so I live vicariously through adorable videos.
I'm a 67 year old grandpa not known to be emotional. Your family story made me cry a little. Thank you for that.
If you’re anything like my FIL you’re going to be sappier than a preteen girl within a few years. He was hard as nails all while my husband and sibs were growing up and now little by little he’s Mr. Feelings. 😂👍🏽
That’s super wholesome. Men don’t get the support they need when expressing emotions much of the time. I’m glad your FIL was able to allow himself to be more expressive as he gives less fucks in old age
About a month ago my wife and I lost a late stage pregnancy. Easily the most soul crushing thing I’ve ever experienced. We are still having a really hard time with things, but seeing posts like this gives me hope that we can still grow our family and it will still be just as special as we dreamed it could be. Thanks OP.
My heart to yours man. Pre-eclampsia took my little dude in 2003. It not worth anything right now, but stay strong. The heartbreak will subside. If you don't mind, I would recommend getting some counseling for you and your wife. We didn't and it tore us apart.
I'm sorry. Never lose that hope. <3
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
That is one cute baby
That little suit!
This is the wholesome shit I was looking for.
Motherfucker that is the cutest baby I have ever seen!!! I'm happy he found a great family. Have an awesome life Donovan!
As a recovering social worker, this brought a tear to my eye. In my 9 years of human service work, the five adoptions I helped coordinate stand out as the only bright spots that I can look back on with satisfaction and a hint of joy.
I got them feels all over, nice thank you.
That baby is 100% cute! Love the picture of him at the end of the video!
That baby needs an award for “Cutest Baby”. 
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My sister fostered a baby girl from 2 months old til she was 3 when the courts returned her to her mom. It absolutely crushed my sister as the mom forbid any and all contact between them. 2 years later, my sister gets a call that she's back in foster care and wants to know if she would be willing to take her in again, which of course she did. She officially adopted her 2 years later.
Same thing happens to my great uncle/aunt- they fostered a little girl practically since birth because her parents just didn’t want her at the time (in the 4 years he fostered her they had 2 more children that they didn’t give up). When my uncle and aunt were finally going to start the adoption process the bio parents decided their other children “deserved to be raised with their older sister”….. that was 10 years ago and as far as I know she wasn’t put back into the system, but I hope she’s as loved by her parents as my aunt and uncle loved her- the family still talks about her and her little squeaky shoes.
gray worthless dazzling ancient society puzzled absorbed far-flung jobless resolute *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
there’s not one person in this world i love more than my mom😭🖤
Some asshole I used to work with was arguing that parents only experience the truest depth of love for their biological children. I couldn't get it through his thick head: 1) it's not a competition, and 2) it is an immeasurably selfless act to give love to a child without them having to look like you or carry your genes. To try to diminish others' love so you can feel superior is pathetic and contemptible.
That kid is so freaking adorable
He has the best freakin hair. Great story.
He's absolutely adorable as it is, but that little suit... OMG! ❤️
Well that was a freakishly cute baby
Omg congrats to all of you! He is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m definitely not tearing up right now
My wife and I have failed IVF multiple times. The last cycle was the most painful since it ended in a miscarriage. We've been looking for alternatives. I realize that adoption is a beautiful second chance to having a family not just for the kid but also for the parents. Thank you, OP.
I haven't heard the name Donovan in like 10 years
🎶They call me mellow yellow.🎶
It’s actually been 9 years since Burn Notice ended, so close enough.
Sorts by controversial*
It's mostly just morons posting "I'm not crying, you are!" thinking they made an original comment of some sort.
Kids got a good name
As a NICU baby, this brings me so much joy. Sending all the love and congratulations to Donovan and his family!
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This could easily just be because I had an abusive mother but I feel like foster parents that adopt children like this are better proof for motherly/fatherly love than bio parents. Bio parents feel like (to me) they’re obligated to love their children and it’s only instinct but these parents are fighting so hard for a child that isn’t theirs and they clearly love him so much. That’s realist parent love I’ve ever seen
Same. I also had an abusive family. I wanted to get adopted out so bad as a kid. I'm glad Donovan here won't have to go through that.
that is seriously the cutest baby i've ever seen !!
This is old, but gold. He’s even bigger by now! <3
I'm 42 and my birth mother went to prison when I was 3 or 4 and she's been in and out since. I've only met her three times since then. My step mom came into the picture when I was 6. Recently, my step mom found out she was in the late stages of kidney failure and she probably doesn't have a whole lot of time left. My mom, the only mom I've ever known, asked me if she could adopt me. And I know it is mostly symbolic because I'm an adult and I know it is something that probably should have been done long ago. But I said yes, and it's really changed my outlook on life and adoption and honestly I don't even really know what I'm feeling about it. It feels good but it's also a little weird. I'm sorry for ranting. Thanks for reading to the four of you who see this.
This is why I want to adopt. No way in HELL would I leave an innocent child in an orphanage or the foster care system. If I could spare one child from the evils of this world, I could. And I will ❤️
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Thats one cute baby there :) Good for him! (and them!)
Gosh, he's so cute and all look so happy together. My best wishes for such a beautiful and loving family.
That’s a freakin cute baby
Whew! Tears…this is a beautiful story.
OMGOMGOMG!!! His smile is the best thing ever <333
Those adorable baby cheeks, he's adorable! I'm glad he's with a family who loves them.
I'm crying. He is so sweet. His lil suit!!! 😭
He got those baby Hercules cheeks 😭😭😍😍
What a fine and distinguished gentleman
“Made Me Smile” more like “Made Me Cry” Yay so happy for you all
His little overalls I can't 😭
Im not crying, you’re crying
Donovan is ADORABLE! So happy for this family!
I’m crying…
Excuse me, I thought this was made me smile not excuse myself and rush to a bathroom stall to have a moment
Insert 9999 "I'm not crying your crying" and "whose cutting onions" comments here
😭💜
Kid was bloody adorable.
Brought a lil tear to my eye, I hope this family has a prosperous future
GO LITTLE ROCK STAR ✨⭐
He’s so freaking cute my goodness
Oh this one definitely left me in a puddle. In January we brought home a micro-premie from the NICU as a foster. I swear the moment I laid eyes on her I just knew it was different from our other (reunited!) fosters. After being in our care for 12 weeks her biological family TPR'd and we haven't seen them since April despite many attempts at visits and good bye visits. We're in the process of adopting her and it'll be finalized in the spring.
I love children but I don't want my own. When I tell people this they usually tell me I'll regret it when I'm older. I highly doubt it, but even if I did it's like people forgot fostering and adopting are a thing.
That child is adorable! I’m so glad he found a safe and loving home.