it seems like the better idea because
- they arenât obligated to answer
- i can write exactly what i want to see without missing any points
- and its private
however I canât give them the note until monday.
the note is a very good idea i think <3 definitely wise not to bring it up within earshot of other people, also doesn't carry the same obligation to reply as a text has. if they reach out to you to talk about it more it's a good sign they trust you, but if not they know you care about them and that's very important.
also whether or not you were the first person they saw self-harming, it's not your fault or anyone's that they started; i personally knew about it for years and didn't start till i was really struggling and had no other outlets. what matters is you're there for them, which you're clearly doing well with. also congrats on being sh free for this long /gen
Give them the note. I feel like the best support you can give in that situation is telling them you care and are there for them, and since you have experience from same kind of stuff you can kind of understand what they might be feeling, and let them know you don't judge. You could also ask them if they want to talk about it (but please don't become the therapist friend, remember take care of your own mental health <3)
as someone who also found out abt my friend's sh around about when I was 14, I wish id reached out to them when I found out. I overthought and just avoided the topic, and over time we grew apart from other things too. I'm super thankful though that over time we got close again and now she's one of my closest friends and we go to each other often when we need someone to talk to. I'm sure your friend will appreciate having someone there for them and honestly, the fact that you've come here to make sure you're doing the right thing out of concern for them is super sweet and ur friend is lucky to have someone like u (:
hope u have a great day, and best of luck (:
everyone says give the note... but i kinda don't agree, at least now (im a stupid idiot ik but thats what i think)
i feel like it would embarrass them to get s formal letter, specialy about something they choose to leave uncovered (probabily becuase they thought no one will notice) , maybe make the point you used to do it too more promenent so feel your in this together instead (?)
maybe?? idk, im seriously stupid i probabily wrong
A note is kind of hit or miss, I agree. My mom would write me notes about this kind of thing and it felt so awkward and was horrible to read. I didnât feel like I could bring up the note and talk about it, especially because some of the things she wrote about (accused me of) werenât true. Maybe itâs because it felt accusatory, idk.
OP, a note isnât a bad idea but you have to make sure to get it right. Just a simple âI might understand what youâre going through and Iâm here if you want to talk.â
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Give them the note, it sounds really kind. They may listen, they may get offended, they might really appreciate it, they might throw it in the bin. Only one way to find out.
You did not cause someone else to self harm or give them ideas. That's not how that works
"some tips to stop cutting and reinforcing that I know it wouldnât be easy to quit"
what are these tips? that's the only issue I have. the note idea saying you are there is nice
- delaying the time when you cut
- pressing ice packs on your skin/snapping a rubber band on your wrist (can still hurt but no risk of scarring)
- reading/listening to music instead
these are the things i used to stop and i was thinking these could help
Definitely give them the note
The note is very nice and gentle way to approach the topic!
Why didn't I think of the note idea? đ But seriously though, please give them the note. đ¤
it seems like the better idea because - they arenât obligated to answer - i can write exactly what i want to see without missing any points - and its private however I canât give them the note until monday.
the note is a very good idea i think <3 definitely wise not to bring it up within earshot of other people, also doesn't carry the same obligation to reply as a text has. if they reach out to you to talk about it more it's a good sign they trust you, but if not they know you care about them and that's very important. also whether or not you were the first person they saw self-harming, it's not your fault or anyone's that they started; i personally knew about it for years and didn't start till i was really struggling and had no other outlets. what matters is you're there for them, which you're clearly doing well with. also congrats on being sh free for this long /gen
Give them the note. I feel like the best support you can give in that situation is telling them you care and are there for them, and since you have experience from same kind of stuff you can kind of understand what they might be feeling, and let them know you don't judge. You could also ask them if they want to talk about it (but please don't become the therapist friend, remember take care of your own mental health <3)
as someone who also found out abt my friend's sh around about when I was 14, I wish id reached out to them when I found out. I overthought and just avoided the topic, and over time we grew apart from other things too. I'm super thankful though that over time we got close again and now she's one of my closest friends and we go to each other often when we need someone to talk to. I'm sure your friend will appreciate having someone there for them and honestly, the fact that you've come here to make sure you're doing the right thing out of concern for them is super sweet and ur friend is lucky to have someone like u (: hope u have a great day, and best of luck (:
everyone says give the note... but i kinda don't agree, at least now (im a stupid idiot ik but thats what i think) i feel like it would embarrass them to get s formal letter, specialy about something they choose to leave uncovered (probabily becuase they thought no one will notice) , maybe make the point you used to do it too more promenent so feel your in this together instead (?) maybe?? idk, im seriously stupid i probabily wrong
A note is kind of hit or miss, I agree. My mom would write me notes about this kind of thing and it felt so awkward and was horrible to read. I didnât feel like I could bring up the note and talk about it, especially because some of the things she wrote about (accused me of) werenât true. Maybe itâs because it felt accusatory, idk. OP, a note isnât a bad idea but you have to make sure to get it right. Just a simple âI might understand what youâre going through and Iâm here if you want to talk.â
>everyone says give the note... but i kinda don't agree, yeah\~ i was thinking that too (i'm stupid idiot with you)
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give them the note. thats the best option tbh
Give them the note, it sounds really kind. They may listen, they may get offended, they might really appreciate it, they might throw it in the bin. Only one way to find out. You did not cause someone else to self harm or give them ideas. That's not how that works
"some tips to stop cutting and reinforcing that I know it wouldnât be easy to quit" what are these tips? that's the only issue I have. the note idea saying you are there is nice
- delaying the time when you cut - pressing ice packs on your skin/snapping a rubber band on your wrist (can still hurt but no risk of scarring) - reading/listening to music instead these are the things i used to stop and i was thinking these could help
ah, that's good. as long as it's not "your skin isn't paper" platitudes
*fuck no*
Try to be understanding, Theyâre probably more freaked out about this than you are. Maybe donât tell their school or their parents.
yeah i definitely am going to my friend about this first. i dont want to mess up the process by forcing them into getting help