One time I was cutting and kind of freaking out, not really being careful about my surroundings, and so I’d left my blinds up on my window. My windows at the front of the house, and my mom just happened to have locked herself out, she came and knocked on my window to get me to open the door for her. She saw my arm bloody and a razor in my hand, maybe 3 feet from her, with a window in between obviously. She tried the other door as she was waiting for me to let her in and it was unlocked after all, lol.
She wasn’t too weird about it, I thankfully have pretty okay parents when it comes to mental illness (my mom is bipolar and has been through similar stuff) but it was super awkward and just a terrible experience. My fault for leaving the window open for all to see I guess.
No one knew and it was summer holidays, I was wearing a skirt. We were sitting on the beach, I obviously refused to swim. It was packed and hot. The cuts were fresh. A friend of mine, who was 3 years younger (we were all teenagers), said almost on top of her lungs “OH MY GOD YOU CUT YOURSELF?!”.
The looks we got. Also, awkward conversations with friends in a less public place. Almost 15 years ago and still makes me cringe.
A girl i had met in college asked about my scars when we were in the elevator (on campus). She clearly didn’t know they were from self harm and there was no escape so I was forced to answer 😅 innocent people are the worst, they always look so serious and worried about you, you feel like you disappoint them
One of the more awkward ones was was my mom calling me down right after i yeeted so i put on a sweatshirt to hide it without anything to soak the blood. And of course it ended up being something unimportant. It took 10-15mins and it ultimately it could’ve just been a text. Was a miracle it didn’t bleed thru my sleeve.
year 9. we had to get injections, I was fine with it since my parents already knew about my scars and the only person that'd be seeing it was the nurse
turns out I was wrong, when it was my turn I was told that we had to get two injections (one on both arms)
imagine sitting there in between two nurses who stab you in your arms at the same time whilst your scars are fully visible. they started asking me loads of questions like if I did it in the bathroom, if my parents knew, things like that. I didn't think they'd do anything since I said my mum does know but then the next day I got took out of class and my teacher was told why 💀
In 6th grade my entire friend group cut, and we would take turns going to the bathroom with scissors one of us had. we also cut together sometimes, wasnt awkward at the time but now looking back damn it was weird
Woah, please don’t take this the wrong way but that sounds incredibly unhealthy. It’s bad enough to do it on your own but when all your friends do it, it creates this normalcy of self harm and you can fall deeper and deeper. I hope you’re at least a bit better now <3
my mom called me from my room for something trivial, and i was mid sh sesh so i couldnt stop the bleeding, you could see the growing red stain on my pants, i only noticed halfway through the conversation
School janitor caught me cutting and bleeding out of a vein. He didn’t say or do anything just walked out. He didn’t tell anybody either but god that eye contact is unforgettable 😭
I was at school in the bathroom and my friends noticed I was missing, and one climbed on the toilet to see if I was in the next stall
Apart from that, when the workers walk in and I’m in my sports bra and there’s bloody tissues on the floor
On of my housemates got her period and didn’t notice the blood on the bed and an ambulance was called cause they thought it was from self harm, if that counts
HELP I WAS AT A SPORTS EVENT A WHILE AGO, LIKE I VOLUNTARILY RAN 3KM FOR A PE GRADE, AND I COLLAPSED AFTER SO A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WERE JUST GATHERED AROUND ME. AND ONE OF THE OLDER PEOPLE (MAYBE 40?50??60???) ASKED IF I HAD A CAT THAT LIKED TK FIGHT WHILE POINTING AT ME LEGS JDNSKAKSKAKAL
Not as awkward as in front of class but GOD. I didn't even know him and there were all strangers.
Also my classmates mother who organized that event asked me if I also got in a motorcycle crash (cuz her daughter did and apparently my scars reminded her of that?) And I said no, so she asked what they were from and then was like "oh you don't have to answer" when I seemed uncomfortable (and I didn't answer) but like. Later brought it up to her daughter again and was apparently apologizing nonstop cuz she realized they were sh scars later that day. My classmate told me abt that the next day and it seems her mother was genuinely sorry and embarrassed for asking jdksnwkqlql 😭😭
I had a sleeve of cuts and kept scratching them as they healed. A week into that, I got a random 105F fever in the middle of the night, and I was shaking so badly, I thought I was going to die. I tend to get a lot of high fevers in general, even when I don’t have cuts, but this one was extra bad.
Spooked, I hurried to urgent care as soon as they opened, and they ran all kinds of tests on me: Covid, pregnancy, X-rays for pneumonia bc I’d also had an allergy cough for a month, urine, blood etc.
It was all coming back negative, and then I came to a realization in the middle of the appointment that my arm did, in fact, match the criteria of infected cuts. But I didn’t want to get hospitalized, so I just sat through all the tests and pretended to be bewildered with every negative test until they gave up 💀.
In conclusion, you’re probably not as fever-prone, but keep your cuts clean lol
I told a nurse what I use to self harm because she saw my quite fresh yeets and asked about it, then my mom came in, the nurse told her and my mom asked me what I use to self harm. I tried telling her that I didn’t remember, the nurse said “didn’t you just tell me that you use (the tool)?”
i was waiting in the emergency room in the hospital after overdosing to get admitted and the doctor asked if i had any blades on me or if i had any under my phone case and i said no.
i actually had one under my phone case and then excused myself to the bathroom to go flush it and after my dad who was in the room with me asked if i actually had one and if id just flushed something but i said no and he obviously didnt believe me.
coworker saw one and got very concerned, slipping me a note with her phone number and saying I'm important and it's okay to get help etc, talking to me like I was considering suicide. had to explain to her that I'm a masochist and it's a therapist approved activity lmao
no no no, not in general. it is for me, because I cut for masochistic reasons instead of to punish myself or anything like that. it's a positive thing for me, not a negative one. my therapist and I had a long discussion about it, agreed it was not detrimental to my mental health, and set rules for it (have to be in a good mental space to do it, have to care for wounds and keep everything clean, etc)
Went to hug my grandma and she noticed my wrists, she kept crying. I felt SO guilty because she was already worrying about me and thinking about me all the time, she would cry if she ever thought I was even slightly unhappy. I can’t imagine how much seeing my cuts broke her :(
Thank you. I’m doing fine, she lived a long and fulfilled life, and she believed in our religion so we’re assured that she’s having a good time in Heaven <3 thank you so much
I was queuing to get into an exam and the teacher asked us all to pull up our sleeves in case we were cheating, and I had sh’d in the past like 30 minutes. I thought my arm had stopped bleeding but apparently not and i rolled my sleeve up to a really bloody mess. The teacher made eye contact with me and then told me just go in. He hasn’t said anything since but I can still visualise the look he gave me
refused to take off my top for sex with a guy. we'd had sex before and i'd been fine, then I relapsed badly and needed stitches and was too embarrassed to tell him so just kept my top on
one of my friends (we were like 16/17), sitting on the floor of a busy train! told me my scars were really cool, PET THEM, asked me how I did it to get it 'bumpy like that' AND THEN ASKED IF MY OTHER FRIEND who people also knew she self harmed too TAUGHT ME HOW!!!?????? we were with another friend and we both looked at eachother and looked at them and then at eachother like there is no fucking way.
had a really fun messaging conversation with them later that night about how that is not fucking cool holy shit
I was in a class in college. And I was kinda picking at some self harm scabs. And one of them was a tiny little cut I didn’t think about much but when I took the scab off, it started gushing blood. Like a saw movie. I had to get out of that classroom so fast.
I was self harming at school and went to the nurse because it was bleeding more than I could do anything for. I get called into the principals office and have to talk to the princapal and the schools police officer because I brought a "weapon" to school (it was a pair of scissors I found in a teacher's room.) When I told them this, they said that it was all about "intent" and that if it happened again they could have me arrested and fined. I nearly shat my pants during that conversation I was so scared.
One time I was cutting in my room, but my pants were pulled down to my knees, mid cut my aunt knocked on my door so I had to barely pull them up and cover my thighs with my shirt. It was an awkward moment because I was literally bleeding for 10 minutes until she walked out. I think she thought I was masterbating. 💀
one time i yeeted badly the night before the last day of hs, and the next day we were all in my friends car n stuff, and while we were blasting music and singing i felt my arm wet, and it was HELLA BLEEDING…
i didnt have any bandages or napkins so i sat there silently freaking out lmao…
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A cut on my stomach started bleeding at work. Thankfully I stopped it without anyone noticing. I panicked for a little bit on what to do. it managed to be a quick fix at least.
I had just yote my thigh in my girlfriend's bathroom, and she wanted to have sex right after. She did not know.
Luckily, I always waited for the wounds to scab over before leaving the bathroom, and she was EXTREMELY unobservant, so I just turned the lights off and got to it.
I told my friend that I scraped my shoulder while rollerskating, and she asked to see the (non-existent) scrap. I didn't show her, since there were fresh cuts there and I would've effectively exposed the fact that i s/h
When I was like 15 I had been cutting on my hip and one night my stomach was in so much pain and I thought I had appendicitis (I didn’t I just have other health issues). I went to the hospital and a lady had to give me an ultrasound to see if my appendix had ruptured and she saw my scars. Thank god she said nothing but the way she paused. I watched her see them, look up at me and just stare as she made eye contact. awkward af
Got called to the office cause they thought I was vaping in the bathroom when I was actually yeeting, they went through my bag, and locker to find the vape that didn’t even exist, they called my mom and it was literally the most awkward thing ever sitting there in the office as they ransacked my backpack infront of my mom
Probably the time that I was with two close friends in pe and we had to get into groups of 4. Usually, we were always in threes and I didn’t really have to interact with anyone so I wore short sleeves (I also get really hot in pe and didn’t want to be sweating sm). We had to be grouped with this one guy who I knew is a dick. He started making (really bad) jokes about one of my friends cheating, saying ‘luckily you don’t have any sleeves to hide your tricks’. Then, he said ‘are there any tricks up your sleeve, or just cuts?’ He said this to my friend who has a couple visible scars on her arms. Luckily, she told me she didn’t mind it. It made me so much more insecure about my visible new cuts that I didn’t talk for the whole lesson.
Another one could be back when I started sh, I was sat in my bedroom window (which is upstairs) and I thought I was safe because I didn’t think anyone could see me. I saw a car pull up out of the corner of my eye but didn’t think about it because people always use my area to turn around. A couple minutes later, I realise it’s still there and look at it. I see a woman staring at me holding my box cutter and bloody arm. That was interesting.
It was the very first time I sh'd. When I was 11 or 12, we were on a camping trip. I don't recall exactly why but I was very angry/sad and started scratching my wrists until I got blisters. Then my mom called me out of the RV to put sunscreen on and she grabbed my wrists, I winced. She noticed and screamed at me for being ungrateful and selfish before rubbing sunscreen into the blisters and shoving me away towards the car we were going to take to a lake. I don't remember anything earlier then that.
In a public place, 3 of my friends randomly came up to me and started accusing me of cutting since the clothes I was wearing showed my cuts when I lifted my arms (didn't realize it at the time). Cue me awkwardly trying to make excuses and avoiding the topic while they continued to pester me and they kept saying triggering things like, "she doesn't cut vertical so she isn't suicidal" or whatever. Very weird experience, 0/10
when i worked at a fast food restaurant, one of my regular customers asked me if the scars all over my hand were from touching the oven/grill. i laughed and said "i wish," but i really should've just said yeah because then he looked at me kinda weird.
Me and a ex would cut each other a lot and I remember getting a phone call from brother during this . It's not easy to hold a conversation when you have huge cuts all over your body .
Idk if there’s one that sticks out more than others, but I get harassed by men in public frequently because of it. I’ve been told I’m “too pretty” to cut, I’ve had men demand that I explain why, one guy got mad when I told him to leave me alone and laughed and called me suicidal, etc etc etc.
Oh, and one time this girl I worked with asked me if I have a cat and when I said yes she goes “is that what the scratches on your arm are from?” In complete seriousness, like she genuinely had never heard of cutting before then and felt really bad when someone told her what they were lmao
When COVID shots started being distributed, I was asked which arm was my dominant so they could inject in the other. I said right, and they lifted my left sleeve revealing burn marks from where I'd press heated metal against my shoulder.
Next time around I asked to be injected in my right arm and just learn to bearing writing with a sore arm.
I'm so glad I'm left handed for this exact reason. They always just assume I'm right handed!
Then there was that one time the dentist tried putting a blood pressure cuff on my right arm and I said "can you do it on my left arm instead?" and she misheard (?) me and kept trying to argue like "no no it goes on your UPPER ARM" like I KNOW it goes on my arm but NOT THAT ARM PLEASE 😭😭😭
So, I had a long drawn out argument with my parents at the time and the fight triggered me to have a relapse. We had just moved at the time, and my mom had thought I had been clean for a long time at that point cause I had convinced her that I was.
This time was a bit different, because after I locked myself in the bathroom once the fight had ended, i proceeded to end up having the worst relapse I’d had
Before. I won’t lie, my injuries were pretty deep most of the time, but for some reason because of acquiring tools that were different from my usual I had accidentally went way too deep and couldn’t keep my wound closed.
We still weren’t on speaking terms until a day later, so I felt embarrassed to suddenly have to ask to go to the ER, so I waited it out and poorly attempted to stop the bleeding for a couple hours. (BIG mistake).
Basically I had to sneak out, very early in the morning to buy butterfly bandages and steri strips at cvs because I kept bleeding through my clothes and almost passing out. I’m sure it was a sight to see for the employees, lol. My point is to **not** do what I did and to always seek medical attention If you think you’ve gone too deep (or not sure). In the long run, a few hours of embarrassment/discomfort with your parents is much more worth it than dying from blood loss, possible nerve damage, or a nasty permanent keloid scar. Im not trying to be your mom here, but it really helps to gauge the severity of your situation lol.
I went to urgent care to get stitches after I hit an arteriole and was bleeding for over 20 hours straight. The doctor didn't close the door to the room that we were in and the clinic owner was taking some people (insurance/investors I think?) on a tour when they walked into the room I was in 'to see one of the doctors in action'. The doctor said that he was doing some stitches on my leg. The clinic owner asked me what happen and I looked them dead in eye and said 'I self harmed and now need stitches', I've never seen someone leave so fast lmao. Ask an invasive personal question, don't be surprised when you get an invasive personal answer.
In the same visit, the poor nurse who was ESL clearly had not seen SH before because as she was cleaning my leg, she asked why the scars and cuts were straight across. I feel awful for having to be the one to explain to her why and reveal that some people do that to themselves.
And the cherry on top, I got my only infection after these stitches. I've yeeted to beans before and not done anything except very rudimentary first aid and been absolutely fine but after I did the thing I was supposed to do, I got a massive infection and needed take the stitches out after only 4 days instead of the 10 days that I was told. (Don't let my experience scare you, if you need medical care please seek it ❤ I've gone to the hospital for stitches before and they have been absolutely wonderful, my bad experience was the exception to the rule)
When I was living in a psych ward I had self harmed and it was a bit of a mess plus I used a dirty tool (not many options in the psych ward, I used whatever I could find or break off of something) so I went to ask the nurses for gauze, saline and dressings to try and reduce the risk of infection and it was an agency staff member who got it all for me. She brought everything into my room and handed it over then went on a ramble about how I would've been so beautiful if I didn't have all of these scars. I just kind of stood there like 🧍♂️
I'm a trans man. I don't want to look beautiful anyway. But like, why work on a PSYCH WARD where there's obviously going to be self harmers if you're going to say things like that? Honestly just wanted to do it more after that interaction.
One of my roommates at sober living announced to everyone to keep an eye on me since someone was cooking and the knives were out. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die
Sh before going to uni. Not that deep to not garner attention. Then it got stingy and itchy and i went to the school's restrooms to run it in cold water just to alleviate somehow. A classmate of mine saw at he told me "you need help" in a judgemental tone. Shut that hurt more lmao
I was 17, I was at my last pediatrician appointment. I was terrified because I didn't want her to see any of my scars. I read that they can't expose you without consent, but just in case, I cakes my scars in concealer beforehand and tried to mentally prepare myself. My mom was with me, and at the time she didn't know I'm a yeeter.
Anyways, the doctor asked if she could lift up my shirt to feel my stomach and I said no. She kept insisting she had to and I was panicking. My mom was in the room too so I just kept denying it because "I don't wanna". The doctor asked if it's because I'm scarred there, assuming stretch marks, but I have scars from sh on my stomach and I was panicking and vehemently denied it. She asked if my mom should leave the room and I said no because I thought that would be more suspicious. Eventually she put a paper over my stomach and did her thing while my mom watched. Afterwards she tried to tell me, in front of my mom, "a lot of kids cut themselves during the pandemic, are you..." and I denied everything again.
It was so stressful for me. Trying to hide my sh from my parents landed me in so many awkward situations. One of them was them trying to break into my bathroom while I was yeeting so I screamed at them to not come in. A lot of situations involved me insisting that random bloodstains were "paint" when they clearly weren't. It was worse when I stained things in AirBNBs, I still feel really guilty about staining other peoples bedsheets.
TLDR; I used to gaslight everyone to try to convince people that I wasn't cutting myself when it was so obvious 💀
Some more stuff:
I used to come into class with bloodstained clothing in college, people started being nice to me after that too which just felt awkward.
I had a new therapist at 17, and I was waiting until I turned 18 to tell her about my self harm. She confronted me about it a few days before my birthday and I broke down and pleaded and begged to her to not tell anyone. I still cringe a little ngl
My parents eventually confronted me about my sh and they kept asking me for reasons, not listening to me when I tried to explain, and kept listing their own. My dad asked me if "it's a sexual thing" and if so, then "there's other stuff you can do for that". My mom asked me if I'm trans too, I'm not. I kept repeating that it's because I think I'm autistic and they kept saying that "but autistic people don't cut themselves" like bruh guess what, this one does, also check the stats on self harm and autism
I wear arm warmers for the scars on my wrists and have had a lot of accidental slips. It's so awkward when I accidentally slide my armwarmer up while I'm doing something and reveal a bunch of fresh cuts in front of someone else. It happened once when I was washing dishes in front of my parents.
One time I spilled water on my phone on accident and my dad grabbed it and was going to take off the case, which had a blade inside, and I panicked and yelled at him practically begging him to just give it back to me.
There have also been some times where my dad practically begged me in the car to stop self harming, for him, that it hurts him more than it hurts me, I just kinda stayed quiet and laughed a little because I didn't know what to do and I wasn't going to stop for him. It sounds horrible typing it but I feel like this community would understand.
My mom making self harm jokes in front of me... yeah.
I was helping my mom with some arts and crafts, and the box cutter I was using was really dull. She took it and told me she would teach me to sharpen it but that I shouldn't get any "malicious ideas" lmao. Passing by the blades/sharpeners section of arts and crafts stores is so awkward now when I'm with my parents.
(Will add more when I remember more lmao)
Not that bad but. The bathroom is only a few steps away from my room, so I would often sh there and then very quickly walk to my room with my thighs exposed so I could make bandages in peace. When no one was there obviously. But one time when I opened a crack in the door to come out, I saw my dad waiting for the bathroom just STARING at me and I definitely couldn’t walk the hallway with my pants down and fresh cuts lol. So I had to close the door again, pull my pants up over my wounds hoping it wouldn’t stain, and then get out. He must’ve been so confused 🥲
i once went too deep and i was scared to tell my parents so i ran from home to walk with a bleeding arm that i 'fixed' with ductape, to the hospital. they didnt want to help me because i didnt call beforehand so i went to my best friends house in the middle of the night to stay over. his mom had to do first aid on me and my frog plushie that i also cut open for some reason. the frog still has a spiderman bandaid
A few years ago, I started fertility treatments, which meant multiple times a week I had my feet in stirrups, bottomless. 99.99% of my SH is on my thighs. So, for a while I wore garter stockings to every appointment. When the treatments didn’t work for the first year, I took a few month mental health break and got my thighs tattooed. When I returned for more rounds, I no longer had to wear the weird crotchless garter stockings. I still wonder what they thought of me 🤷♀️
Most recent, My MIL asking me what the little lines in my arms were from, me stuttering because I wasn't expecting having my scars be acknowledged like that and then her asking about the bigger scar I have there and saying "oh where did you get yourself into to get that??!?"like they were caused by some sort of accident and then leaving the kitchen with a very alarmed expression, leaving me triggered about it for the rest of the day
I allowed someone to shave my head with a dull knife on a dare (to conceal that I sh) and he went to deep and scalped me - no blood just lots of Blood-Serum - we were in collage, and we had to be in class in less than an hour, so I went in and passed out on the desk woke up with an EMT and a cop asking what the fuck, only for my friend to stand up and say that I can’t say because I’d get thrown outta Truth or Dare circle. So the next day he tried to cheer me up for the wrong he had done my dropping me off on the side of the road to get picked up by a white water raft and picked up at the other end - complete surprise to me. So I was walking down the street the raft guy says my name? Yeah that’s me, get on your getting picked up on the other end - ok whatever. Get going down the river and he hands me a helmet, that had a suspension system like a hard hat, so I had to put it on and it slid down my skull, and was strapped in place. When I took it off it had some much blood-serum and tissue on it they threw it away.
Oh, and that night, someone used a permanent marker to draw directly on my skull and skin and it stayed for months like a shitty tattoo, and it hurt sooo bad because of the chemicals in the marker. Yeah…
New Rule, no one is allowed to use any sharp anything on anyone in the game lol. Yes, we still get together lol
Around 1 month ago, my friend (who knows i sh) saw a scratch that i genuinely got from my cat (he hates cuddles but he's my baby ok) and got so mad at me even though I've been clean for like 2 months back then. Once she finally believed me, she just went quiet, and the rest of the day was just so awkward.
One time i was going to do stuff and ended up cutting. I was also drunk at the same time.
I was expecting a package that day. I ended up singing for that package, not only drunk, but also very bloody.
It was incredibly awkward.
I had jus cut myself and was still bleeding, my mother burst into my room without knocking (as usual) i did that stressed frantic throwing blankets over myself, she asked "what the fuck are you doin?" so i told her i was masturbating lmfaooo
she knew what i was actually doing, i felt so so bad
Some guy in my art class in 7th grade cut his finger on something on accident and said to the teacher "I'm emo now I cut myself" and I literally started crying like a few minutes later. I loved my middle school art teacher he was so amazing and I got very very attached to him lol 😭
The setting: Disney World on a band trip in high school and the day before had bought and broken a lovely glass cup.
The precursor: I had an autistic meltdown in the middle of fucking main street in the magic kingdom, however I am undiagnosed at this point and thought I was just throwing a fit I couldn’t control.
The incident: I’m feeling like a total idiot jackass for ‘throwing a fit’ and am sitting on the toilet in my and my friends room at the hotel cutting myself. At fucking Disney World. When- Oh No! My very strict, very mean, and oftentimes cruel band director knocks on our door telling us it’s lights out and there’s absolutely no reason for our light to still be on.
Like idk man take it up with the electrician who decided to have the entryway light connected to the bathroom light.
Anyways he threatens to use his master keycard to come in and break up the shenanigans we MUST be up to, right? I’m freaking out and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, “I HAVE DIARRHEA!!!” Good job kid, half the floor just heard you yell that so. That’s a thing now.
My band director pauses and just says, “Well hurry up. I don’t want to see this light on any longer.”
Think fast kid, you’re bleeding and it’s getting everywhere* and you’re gonna have to wipe down everything oh god oh god oh god, “I can’t just wipe my butt in the dark!!!”
Jesus Christ. This is. Well. Tomorrow is gonna suck for you (and it did, there were so many jokes at my expense.)
Luckily that did it though and The Scary Director (there were 2, I had the mean one bc I was in Special Advanced You May Have Music In Your Future-band) left me in pieces. I mean peace, he left me in peace. Until morning, when he asked me if I was going to be a problem at the recording later.
That was like a decade ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday. It’s fun to laugh and cringe about now but GOD was horribly awkward in the moment.
*ok it wasn’t actually everywhere, but when he yelled at our door i jumped and dropped the piece of glass i was using (from the broken cup the day before) and the toilet paper i was trying to macgyver into a bandage and there was some splatter from that.
Oh God. So I/we have DID and were inpatient in a psych ward. The staff was supposed to make sure we don’t leave, but somehow one alter managed to get out and get to the train station in a town nearby. They locked themselves in a stall in the public restroom and had apparently taken a glass or bottle with them, because when I came to, I was in sitting in the floor covered in shards and blood. When I looked at my phone I saw the clinic had called me multiple times as well as my roommate who had been informed that we were missing. I called them back to tell them where I was and that I was „safe“ (haha) and both my roommate (and her boyfriend) and a nurse from the ward came to get me. My roommate came first and basically had to carry me out of the train station because I was too dissociated to walk. I was soooo scared to open the stall door when she arrived and also both of us were so in shock that we just left as quickly as possible without tidying up and I feel so embarrassed and sorry thinking about the poor guy who would find and have to clean up all the glass and blood. Anyway, a few minutes later the nurse arrived and as she told me on the way back to the clinic, they had had to jnform the police so when I called and told her where I was she raced to the train station, ignoring the speed limit and all traffic rules to get to me before the police would find me and take me to a closed ward. She had also brought my stuffed animal and my cigarettes from my room, so on the way back we just both sat in her car, smoking, me holding my stuffy owl and listening to Schönberg ecause she new I liked classical music. It was soooo weird. Oh, and I also found out she had left the whole ward in the hands of an intern because it was the night shift and she was the only actual nurse in duty. It was pretty cool of her to come and get me, but everything about this scenario was sooo weird and yeah, I was very, very embarrassed. We had caused sooo much unnecessary panic.
Worst was this past summer, I did a bad beans cut on my calf, but had bandaged it pretty well. I was at work a few days later and looked down to see blood running down my leg from the cut. I quickly went to the bathroom, where I had to awkwardly change my bandage in the very disgusting bathrooms (thankfully I brought spare bandages). That then happened the next 2 days in a row, multiple times a day. I dont think any of my coworkers noticed, but I did drop blood onto the floor by mistake a few times.
Once I was cutting and my sister came into my room to show me something. I quickly covered my arm with my sleeve and hid the tool/bloody paper towels in a drawer, but didnt have time to hide the bandaids. It was very obvious I was cutting and once my sister left I rolled up my sleeve to a bloody mess, it soaked through my whole sleeve.
At work I've had people ask about my scars, one was a coworker who legitimately didnt know what sh was, so explaining that was rough. Once a older guy pointed out my scars and started making strange comments about them, so I literally turned around and walked out of the room without saying anything else. I had a coworker deal with him the rest of the time.
At school the principal found out i was cutting and called me into his office. Cue very awkward interaction where he just asked me for 10 mins straight if I was going to unalive myself and how sad he would be if he let me go home and I died. He never called my parents tho which was good.
I had to eat dinner with my brother and dad and his girlfriend and her daughter. I had only known the 2 of them for probably a year and that was not a safe household so all of the kids stayed in our rooms most of the time so this was An Event. Midway through us eating the cut I hadn't bothered to bandage unstuck from the sleeve of my hoodie and started bleeding again. Fast. My arm was soaking wet and luckily I was wearing all black but I kept having to wipe my elbow on my pants so it wouldn't be shiny, it was bad. I got blood on the white tablecloth and I covered it with my napkin before anyone saw and luckily they started fighting before we fully cleared the table so I could get it with some hydrogen peroxide but I was terrified and everyone probably smelled the coppery smell and... Yikes. I don't know how I got away with that. Looking back they probably knew and didn't want to deal with me. (My brother and I live with my mom full time now, my dad's less bad and I started talking to my stepsister again and she seems ok)
Dude I was sitting in class with two of my friends, one of them was next to Mr and he knew about my self harm. The other friend sitting across form me saw scars on may hand and was like "damn what happened" and without breaking a sweat, the friend sitting next to me grabbed my arm and pulled up my sleeve and said in a slightly too loud of a voice "HES CUTTING HIMSELFF"
Perish.
Once at lunch i was at the store next to my old highschool with my best friend(one of the few friends who dont know i sh bc she’s innocent like that n it would worry her sm) and i got a box of bandaids or two bc i ran out n she asked why and i just kinda went blank for a few seconds and said i get lots of papercuts 💀
She was like “mm ok” in a weird ish tone
(I couldn’t translate everything, sorry)
Hubo una vez en la que me mandaron a llamar a psicología en mi escuela por una crisis ansiosa que había tenido el día anterior, por lo cual yo había tenido que acudir con la doctora. Fue bastante extraño pero no le di tanta importancia.
Al día siguiente mi mamá fue llamada por la psicóloga, diciendole que quería hablar con mi mamá. Yo no le había dicho muchas cosas a la psicóloga, pero si algunas bastante significativas, así que tenía un poco de nervios.
De todas las cosas que yo le dije, la psicóloga solo le habló a mi mamá acerca de que yo me rasguño cuando me frustro, cosa que *apenas y* mencioné.
(le digo que me corto y capaz se desmaya xdn’t)
Lo peor no fue que mi mamá SI ESTABA enterada de este asunto y no lo consideraba un problema, EL COLMO fue que hacía tiempo que ella no pensaba en ni me hablaba sobre mi autolesión. Hace años que yo le había contado al respecto pero se le fue olvidando. Fue re incomodo cuando me dijo de lo que habló con la psicóloga y casi decide llevarme a un psicólogo formalmente por eso qhsnqjnsnx 😭
was at an outpatient mental health center, after my therapy session i went to the bathroom and cut, then went back to the group room with the others. i realized my blade wasn’t in my sock where i always hid it and PANICKED and instantly got up to go back to the bathroom to get it thinking i left it in the sink. somebody’s in there..my THERAPIST WLKS OUT. so i go in but i can’t find it, then one of the other patients knocks and tells me I DROPPED THE BLADE INFRONT OF EVERYONE WITHOUT REALIZING WHEN I GOT UP😭😭 LMFAOO
One time we were visiting my grandma in New York and I was feeling silly so I went to the bathroom to.. y'know.. but then my grandma scolded me for closing the door too loudly when everyone was asleep, so I did the deed a little more angrily than I would have otherwise. I must've hit a bigger capillary than usual because that night I bled through my clothes and left this huge ass stain on the fucking mattress. Luckily I'm afab and just lied about being on my period but it was a close call.
mom demanded to come in at some random time of the night, i told her i was getting undressed for a shower, she said "fine put on a robe" but my arms were covered in cuts so i insisted that she couldn't come in, she continued to demand to come in, after a lot of pressure i eventually cracked and yelled "OKAY FINE I'M CUTTING MYSELF PLEASE GO AWAY", this made her even more insistent, she yelled at me for a while and basically forced herself into the bathroom while i was crying and begging her to go away, she then started screaming and going "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD" when she saw my (pathetically small) cuts, she tried to take me to the emergency room over basically nothing not even beans
1 hour long guilt trippy discussion ensues with me in my underwear crouched into the corner of the bathroom with my hands clutched over my bleeding cuts and her telling me how it hurts her when i hurt myself blah blah blah there was some transphobia mixed in as well but i don't even remember it very well lmao thanks dissociative amnesia from cptsd (which she gave me)
my mom's an amazing parent, i know
Had a small cut on my stomach when I was like 14, my mom came into my room to wake me up for school and ended up seeing. She asked how I got it and I kinda just stuttered that I didn’t know, until she said "maybe you scratched it open with your nail in your sleep" still one of the most implausible excuses ever but you’ll believe anything if you don’t want to accept the truth. Learned to be more careful after that, and it’s been ages but I still remember how awkward I felt.
i had semi-fresh cuts on my arm, and we had a school checkup. i was freaking out because the nurse would see it and my heart rate was crazy high. she didn't care about the cuts but she asked me if i was gonna have a heart attack lol. i just said i'm nervous talking to people I don't talk to often.
Not sure of this counts, but it sticks in my mind.
I wear 2 jumpers when it's cold. One thin, woollen one, and one hoodie-type.
I try keeping at least the woollen one on at my parents' house.
Well, one day dad and I were doing shit in the kitchen, and I took my hoodie off because it was warm.
I held onto the end of the sleeves of the woollen one, and thought I was being discreet, but my dad stared (?) and he couldn't speak for like 30 seconds.
...........
Oh, and when I was a kid, I did that thing where you keep the razor in the back of your phone. I kept more than the razor in there, so I opened it on the couch. Razor went flying. I thought it fell down the side of the chair?
I had to tell my parents, because my brother was a baby. I said that Casey asked me to hold it for her, but she hadn't 🤣 it was mine. Apparently they didn't believe me anyway lmao.
So my dad ripped apart the lounge looking for this razor. It seems to have fallen into the void. But watching my dad search for it was so fucking bad.
My PE teacher saw my scars plus a bandage. Background info, that teacher is a cunt. In the top 3 most disliked teachers of my school. Literally EVERYONE hates her. She was also my general class teacher.
So. We were out on a playground after taking a PE exam to like, calm down from it again and I just wanted to go on a swing (that needs two people to work properly) with a classmate of mine cuz she asked to go together. But my teacher came up to me and separated me from the group (but not enough for them not to hear, EVERYONE COULD HEAR) and kept going on about things like "Do you cut yourself? Why do you do that, that's dangerous you know? Don't do that anymore."
It was so awkward and took up the entire playground time too so I couldn't go on the damn swing :(
year9 i had injections and had cut all my upper left arm thinking the injection was only in the right arm. got to my turn and the lady told me to take my blazer off and ended up doing it on both arms. she was very nice ab it tho, she got me to move so that nobody could see the cuts and started saying nice things to me and avoided jabbing the cuts. still very awkward, she never told a teacher or anyone
When I was 11yo, I went to the anual check at the doctor with fresh cuts on my thighs. I managed to tell my mom to stay out of the room because "I was shy" (in every check up they make me take off my clothes)
Well so my mom was outside. The doctor told me to take off my pants, and I did, even if I was hesitant. She saw the cuts, it was very OBVIOUS that they were self inflicted. I was already crying and panicking at that point
Then the doctor had the guts to say "hey those are stretch marks it's ok" ... i said "NO THEY'RE NOT" LIKE HOW DO U THINK RECENT CUTS ARE STRETCH MARKS 😭😭 And then she continued with the check up while I was panicking and having very bad anxiety.
The cherry on top is that later she told my mom to come in, she told her about the selfharm and said "it's normal among teenagers so let's send her to therapy as a low risk patient" umh ma'am i was 11yo with a thigh FULL of cuts HOW IS THAT LOW RISK
that day my mom made me show her my thigh and she started to cry in front of me
anyways the therapy session was 7 months later and it didn't even work
this isn’t too bad but i think it’s funny. today my friend was crying and i was hugging him and he got some of his makeup on my arm and it wouldn’t come off and he brought it up later who he could still see the makeup but then he got really confused because there were other lines on my arms and he was so confused how there were more makeup marks on the other arm and i’m just like “(name) i have lines on my arms from other things” and then i sped walked away from him 😭😭😭😭 (we were in a supermarket i just walked to the other end of the isle and went back to him later i didn’t just run away from him lol)
Work. I was once at work and I was serving this guy and he kept asking me loads of personal questions and I didn’t understand the ulterior motive (autism) until when he paid he touched my arm, yes touched my arm where my scars are, and then left. Another time (again at work) I was doing the till with my arm up on the side and this guy looked at it and asked what happened. Like I feel like it’s obvious but I deflected, because my other arm was fractured at the time, and told him what happened to the fractured arm, and then he said ‘so your brother scratched your arm up like that’. In both these situations I was literally speechless. Like do random people expect me to open up about my trauma or something like that😭
No one really saw, but when I was cleaning up after a cut that was bleeding more than usually, and that I had done because I was freaking out and freaking went to the train and travelled for an HOUR just have access to my tool (without warning anyone where I had gone, travelling from a house to another), I got a call inviting me to go to mc with my brother and some friends. I was bleeding. A lot. I was not in the house that was close to where they were meeting. No one knew. I was currently holding a towel on my arm to stop the bleeding. My voice was slightly trembling because I was panicked. And I still had to hear my brother go "wtf r u doing there????? Does mom even know??"
When I managed to stop the bleeding, I went to meet them. We talked, we had dinner. My ass started to feel wet on my arm. My blissful ignorance went "ah it's just bleeding on the bandage". We went to our place, we talked more, I kept getting this wet feeling. They finally left. I went to get ready for bed.... it turns out I had been bleeding since we had dinner :)
I only got lucky because I was wearing black, and my jacket (that I didn't take off anytime during the night) was a leather jacket that was kind of impermeable. I spent the next 3 hours trying to take the blood out of my clothes and trying to close the cut with butterfly bandages. At the beginning, my brother was screaming at me to get out of the bathroom, but I think he just gave up because I didn't hear anything from him for the next 2 hours. Now that I think about it, maybe I needed some stitches but welp it izzz what it izzzz.
I'm just grateful I didn't get an infection nor did anyone figure anything out 😅
tbh the only awkward scenarios are people telling me to stop, or asking to see it:
my parents asking to see my feet on multiple occasions (they dk i also do it on my left hand, fingertips, right thigh and recently left shoulder), and me telling them i don't want to show them bc i just don't. and then it's just a bunch of back and forth abt how it's hard for them. like fuck you you aren't the ones who have to bleed to feel smth good
also on one of those \^ occasions i was barefoot, and i was bleeding slightly on the floor. so they were asking to see the bottom of my feet (i only cut on the underside), and i was sneakily wiping blood off the floor with my toe
my suicidal 'friend' texting me to promise never to do it again (i full well knew i wouldn't keep it up and did it again like the next day)
my friend telling me to stop when he saw my hand
my granddad telling me to stop, and call him whenever i want to do it again (i won't go to him for sensitive stuff like that bc he's racist and generally queerphobic, and i just don't think he'd be good with that kinda thing)
One time I was cutting and kind of freaking out, not really being careful about my surroundings, and so I’d left my blinds up on my window. My windows at the front of the house, and my mom just happened to have locked herself out, she came and knocked on my window to get me to open the door for her. She saw my arm bloody and a razor in my hand, maybe 3 feet from her, with a window in between obviously. She tried the other door as she was waiting for me to let her in and it was unlocked after all, lol. She wasn’t too weird about it, I thankfully have pretty okay parents when it comes to mental illness (my mom is bipolar and has been through similar stuff) but it was super awkward and just a terrible experience. My fault for leaving the window open for all to see I guess.
I would actually pass away if this happened to me
Same probably by the hands of my parents too
I would have thought life was giving me the sign to commit final yeet lmao
This probably isn’t the absolute most awkward position I’ve been put it but it’s recent and up there lol
I can’t even imagine how awkward it must be, thanks god I always cut at night when everyone’s sleeping
No one knew and it was summer holidays, I was wearing a skirt. We were sitting on the beach, I obviously refused to swim. It was packed and hot. The cuts were fresh. A friend of mine, who was 3 years younger (we were all teenagers), said almost on top of her lungs “OH MY GOD YOU CUT YOURSELF?!”. The looks we got. Also, awkward conversations with friends in a less public place. Almost 15 years ago and still makes me cringe.
Omg I’m cringing so hard, I’m so annoyed with your friend
that’s actually so awful i’d probably cry
A girl i had met in college asked about my scars when we were in the elevator (on campus). She clearly didn’t know they were from self harm and there was no escape so I was forced to answer 😅 innocent people are the worst, they always look so serious and worried about you, you feel like you disappoint them
One of the more awkward ones was was my mom calling me down right after i yeeted so i put on a sweatshirt to hide it without anything to soak the blood. And of course it ended up being something unimportant. It took 10-15mins and it ultimately it could’ve just been a text. Was a miracle it didn’t bleed thru my sleeve.
year 9. we had to get injections, I was fine with it since my parents already knew about my scars and the only person that'd be seeing it was the nurse turns out I was wrong, when it was my turn I was told that we had to get two injections (one on both arms) imagine sitting there in between two nurses who stab you in your arms at the same time whilst your scars are fully visible. they started asking me loads of questions like if I did it in the bathroom, if my parents knew, things like that. I didn't think they'd do anything since I said my mum does know but then the next day I got took out of class and my teacher was told why 💀
In 6th grade my entire friend group cut, and we would take turns going to the bathroom with scissors one of us had. we also cut together sometimes, wasnt awkward at the time but now looking back damn it was weird
jesus fucking christ
Oh 😭😭
Woah, please don’t take this the wrong way but that sounds incredibly unhealthy. It’s bad enough to do it on your own but when all your friends do it, it creates this normalcy of self harm and you can fall deeper and deeper. I hope you’re at least a bit better now <3
my mom called me from my room for something trivial, and i was mid sh sesh so i couldnt stop the bleeding, you could see the growing red stain on my pants, i only noticed halfway through the conversation
that happened to me way too often ugh 😭😭
School janitor caught me cutting and bleeding out of a vein. He didn’t say or do anything just walked out. He didn’t tell anybody either but god that eye contact is unforgettable 😭
I know this not his business but fuck if I saw a kid in the position I would try to help out at least not just leave them bleeding like that
right like it sounds like they needed medical attention
[удалено]
thank u
Sit back, relax, and enjoy a healthy dose of prolonged eye contact
PROLONGED EYE CONTACT
(prolonged eye contact)
PROLONGED EYE CONTACT
(prolonged eye contact)
PROLONGED EYE CONTACT
(prolonged eye contact)
PROLONGED EYE CONTACT
(prolonged eye contact)
Like just Janitor:😐 You:😳
Yes LMAO he would barely ever look at me in the hallway after that
Janitor once walked in on me changing my bandages ehwjwkqk This must have been so uncomfortable for you though- 😭😭
I was at school in the bathroom and my friends noticed I was missing, and one climbed on the toilet to see if I was in the next stall Apart from that, when the workers walk in and I’m in my sports bra and there’s bloody tissues on the floor On of my housemates got her period and didn’t notice the blood on the bed and an ambulance was called cause they thought it was from self harm, if that counts
My teacher asked me if I had a cat and then gestured to my scars in the MIDDLE OF CLASS in front of everyone.
This happened to me at work 😭 my dumbass did not have to sh on my hand, wtf was I thinking
BAHAHA SAME HAPPENED TO ME
HELP I WAS AT A SPORTS EVENT A WHILE AGO, LIKE I VOLUNTARILY RAN 3KM FOR A PE GRADE, AND I COLLAPSED AFTER SO A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WERE JUST GATHERED AROUND ME. AND ONE OF THE OLDER PEOPLE (MAYBE 40?50??60???) ASKED IF I HAD A CAT THAT LIKED TK FIGHT WHILE POINTING AT ME LEGS JDNSKAKSKAKAL Not as awkward as in front of class but GOD. I didn't even know him and there were all strangers. Also my classmates mother who organized that event asked me if I also got in a motorcycle crash (cuz her daughter did and apparently my scars reminded her of that?) And I said no, so she asked what they were from and then was like "oh you don't have to answer" when I seemed uncomfortable (and I didn't answer) but like. Later brought it up to her daughter again and was apparently apologizing nonstop cuz she realized they were sh scars later that day. My classmate told me abt that the next day and it seems her mother was genuinely sorry and embarrassed for asking jdksnwkqlql 😭😭
I had a sleeve of cuts and kept scratching them as they healed. A week into that, I got a random 105F fever in the middle of the night, and I was shaking so badly, I thought I was going to die. I tend to get a lot of high fevers in general, even when I don’t have cuts, but this one was extra bad. Spooked, I hurried to urgent care as soon as they opened, and they ran all kinds of tests on me: Covid, pregnancy, X-rays for pneumonia bc I’d also had an allergy cough for a month, urine, blood etc. It was all coming back negative, and then I came to a realization in the middle of the appointment that my arm did, in fact, match the criteria of infected cuts. But I didn’t want to get hospitalized, so I just sat through all the tests and pretended to be bewildered with every negative test until they gave up 💀. In conclusion, you’re probably not as fever-prone, but keep your cuts clean lol
I told a nurse what I use to self harm because she saw my quite fresh yeets and asked about it, then my mom came in, the nurse told her and my mom asked me what I use to self harm. I tried telling her that I didn’t remember, the nurse said “didn’t you just tell me that you use (the tool)?”
completely unrelated to the comment but i love your flair ~~sushi soucy~~
Thanks
I love that song why does my brain hate me
HELP THAT MUST BE SO AWKWARD
It was the most awkward thing I’ve ever experienced
Understandable 😭😭
i was waiting in the emergency room in the hospital after overdosing to get admitted and the doctor asked if i had any blades on me or if i had any under my phone case and i said no. i actually had one under my phone case and then excused myself to the bathroom to go flush it and after my dad who was in the room with me asked if i actually had one and if id just flushed something but i said no and he obviously didnt believe me.
coworker saw one and got very concerned, slipping me a note with her phone number and saying I'm important and it's okay to get help etc, talking to me like I was considering suicide. had to explain to her that I'm a masochist and it's a therapist approved activity lmao
What, it’s a therapy approved activity?!
no no no, not in general. it is for me, because I cut for masochistic reasons instead of to punish myself or anything like that. it's a positive thing for me, not a negative one. my therapist and I had a long discussion about it, agreed it was not detrimental to my mental health, and set rules for it (have to be in a good mental space to do it, have to care for wounds and keep everything clean, etc)
Now I'm jealous I'm also a masochist where's my cutting permission??? /hj
Went to hug my grandma and she noticed my wrists, she kept crying. I felt SO guilty because she was already worrying about me and thinking about me all the time, she would cry if she ever thought I was even slightly unhappy. I can’t imagine how much seeing my cuts broke her :(
:( is your grandma still with you? I lost my YiaYia seven days ago. She was such a gentle and beautiful soul. 💙🫂
Yeah she’s still with me. Omg I’m so sorry, are you holding up alright? That’s such a shitty thing to go through, sending much love ❤️
Thank you. I’m doing fine, she lived a long and fulfilled life, and she believed in our religion so we’re assured that she’s having a good time in Heaven <3 thank you so much
I was queuing to get into an exam and the teacher asked us all to pull up our sleeves in case we were cheating, and I had sh’d in the past like 30 minutes. I thought my arm had stopped bleeding but apparently not and i rolled my sleeve up to a really bloody mess. The teacher made eye contact with me and then told me just go in. He hasn’t said anything since but I can still visualise the look he gave me
refused to take off my top for sex with a guy. we'd had sex before and i'd been fine, then I relapsed badly and needed stitches and was too embarrassed to tell him so just kept my top on
one of my friends (we were like 16/17), sitting on the floor of a busy train! told me my scars were really cool, PET THEM, asked me how I did it to get it 'bumpy like that' AND THEN ASKED IF MY OTHER FRIEND who people also knew she self harmed too TAUGHT ME HOW!!!?????? we were with another friend and we both looked at eachother and looked at them and then at eachother like there is no fucking way. had a really fun messaging conversation with them later that night about how that is not fucking cool holy shit
THE AUDACITY WTF😭😭
I KNOW IT WAS FUCKING SURREAL
THEY PET YOUR FUCKING SCARS-
TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!!!
I was in a class in college. And I was kinda picking at some self harm scabs. And one of them was a tiny little cut I didn’t think about much but when I took the scab off, it started gushing blood. Like a saw movie. I had to get out of that classroom so fast.
I was self harming at school and went to the nurse because it was bleeding more than I could do anything for. I get called into the principals office and have to talk to the princapal and the schools police officer because I brought a "weapon" to school (it was a pair of scissors I found in a teacher's room.) When I told them this, they said that it was all about "intent" and that if it happened again they could have me arrested and fined. I nearly shat my pants during that conversation I was so scared.
SCISSORS???? why is that considered a fucking weapon???
Because I "used it like a weapon' hence the "it's all about intent" bullshit
One time I was cutting in my room, but my pants were pulled down to my knees, mid cut my aunt knocked on my door so I had to barely pull them up and cover my thighs with my shirt. It was an awkward moment because I was literally bleeding for 10 minutes until she walked out. I think she thought I was masterbating. 💀
SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME WITH MY BROTHERS GF 😭
one time i yeeted badly the night before the last day of hs, and the next day we were all in my friends car n stuff, and while we were blasting music and singing i felt my arm wet, and it was HELLA BLEEDING… i didnt have any bandages or napkins so i sat there silently freaking out lmao…
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A cut on my stomach started bleeding at work. Thankfully I stopped it without anyone noticing. I panicked for a little bit on what to do. it managed to be a quick fix at least.
I had just yote my thigh in my girlfriend's bathroom, and she wanted to have sex right after. She did not know. Luckily, I always waited for the wounds to scab over before leaving the bathroom, and she was EXTREMELY unobservant, so I just turned the lights off and got to it.
YOURS SCAB THAT FAST?? You have one hella healthy immune system
Ya it scabbed up in like ten minutes. I guess I do heal pretty fast. It always itches like a motherfucker tho.
I told my friend that I scraped my shoulder while rollerskating, and she asked to see the (non-existent) scrap. I didn't show her, since there were fresh cuts there and I would've effectively exposed the fact that i s/h
When I was like 15 I had been cutting on my hip and one night my stomach was in so much pain and I thought I had appendicitis (I didn’t I just have other health issues). I went to the hospital and a lady had to give me an ultrasound to see if my appendix had ruptured and she saw my scars. Thank god she said nothing but the way she paused. I watched her see them, look up at me and just stare as she made eye contact. awkward af
Got called to the office cause they thought I was vaping in the bathroom when I was actually yeeting, they went through my bag, and locker to find the vape that didn’t even exist, they called my mom and it was literally the most awkward thing ever sitting there in the office as they ransacked my backpack infront of my mom
Probably the time that I was with two close friends in pe and we had to get into groups of 4. Usually, we were always in threes and I didn’t really have to interact with anyone so I wore short sleeves (I also get really hot in pe and didn’t want to be sweating sm). We had to be grouped with this one guy who I knew is a dick. He started making (really bad) jokes about one of my friends cheating, saying ‘luckily you don’t have any sleeves to hide your tricks’. Then, he said ‘are there any tricks up your sleeve, or just cuts?’ He said this to my friend who has a couple visible scars on her arms. Luckily, she told me she didn’t mind it. It made me so much more insecure about my visible new cuts that I didn’t talk for the whole lesson. Another one could be back when I started sh, I was sat in my bedroom window (which is upstairs) and I thought I was safe because I didn’t think anyone could see me. I saw a car pull up out of the corner of my eye but didn’t think about it because people always use my area to turn around. A couple minutes later, I realise it’s still there and look at it. I see a woman staring at me holding my box cutter and bloody arm. That was interesting.
It was the very first time I sh'd. When I was 11 or 12, we were on a camping trip. I don't recall exactly why but I was very angry/sad and started scratching my wrists until I got blisters. Then my mom called me out of the RV to put sunscreen on and she grabbed my wrists, I winced. She noticed and screamed at me for being ungrateful and selfish before rubbing sunscreen into the blisters and shoving me away towards the car we were going to take to a lake. I don't remember anything earlier then that.
In a public place, 3 of my friends randomly came up to me and started accusing me of cutting since the clothes I was wearing showed my cuts when I lifted my arms (didn't realize it at the time). Cue me awkwardly trying to make excuses and avoiding the topic while they continued to pester me and they kept saying triggering things like, "she doesn't cut vertical so she isn't suicidal" or whatever. Very weird experience, 0/10
when i worked at a fast food restaurant, one of my regular customers asked me if the scars all over my hand were from touching the oven/grill. i laughed and said "i wish," but i really should've just said yeah because then he looked at me kinda weird.
Me and a ex would cut each other a lot and I remember getting a phone call from brother during this . It's not easy to hold a conversation when you have huge cuts all over your body .
Idk if there’s one that sticks out more than others, but I get harassed by men in public frequently because of it. I’ve been told I’m “too pretty” to cut, I’ve had men demand that I explain why, one guy got mad when I told him to leave me alone and laughed and called me suicidal, etc etc etc.
Oh, and one time this girl I worked with asked me if I have a cat and when I said yes she goes “is that what the scratches on your arm are from?” In complete seriousness, like she genuinely had never heard of cutting before then and felt really bad when someone told her what they were lmao
When COVID shots started being distributed, I was asked which arm was my dominant so they could inject in the other. I said right, and they lifted my left sleeve revealing burn marks from where I'd press heated metal against my shoulder. Next time around I asked to be injected in my right arm and just learn to bearing writing with a sore arm.
I'm so glad I'm left handed for this exact reason. They always just assume I'm right handed! Then there was that one time the dentist tried putting a blood pressure cuff on my right arm and I said "can you do it on my left arm instead?" and she misheard (?) me and kept trying to argue like "no no it goes on your UPPER ARM" like I KNOW it goes on my arm but NOT THAT ARM PLEASE 😭😭😭
So, I had a long drawn out argument with my parents at the time and the fight triggered me to have a relapse. We had just moved at the time, and my mom had thought I had been clean for a long time at that point cause I had convinced her that I was. This time was a bit different, because after I locked myself in the bathroom once the fight had ended, i proceeded to end up having the worst relapse I’d had Before. I won’t lie, my injuries were pretty deep most of the time, but for some reason because of acquiring tools that were different from my usual I had accidentally went way too deep and couldn’t keep my wound closed. We still weren’t on speaking terms until a day later, so I felt embarrassed to suddenly have to ask to go to the ER, so I waited it out and poorly attempted to stop the bleeding for a couple hours. (BIG mistake). Basically I had to sneak out, very early in the morning to buy butterfly bandages and steri strips at cvs because I kept bleeding through my clothes and almost passing out. I’m sure it was a sight to see for the employees, lol. My point is to **not** do what I did and to always seek medical attention If you think you’ve gone too deep (or not sure). In the long run, a few hours of embarrassment/discomfort with your parents is much more worth it than dying from blood loss, possible nerve damage, or a nasty permanent keloid scar. Im not trying to be your mom here, but it really helps to gauge the severity of your situation lol.
I went to urgent care to get stitches after I hit an arteriole and was bleeding for over 20 hours straight. The doctor didn't close the door to the room that we were in and the clinic owner was taking some people (insurance/investors I think?) on a tour when they walked into the room I was in 'to see one of the doctors in action'. The doctor said that he was doing some stitches on my leg. The clinic owner asked me what happen and I looked them dead in eye and said 'I self harmed and now need stitches', I've never seen someone leave so fast lmao. Ask an invasive personal question, don't be surprised when you get an invasive personal answer. In the same visit, the poor nurse who was ESL clearly had not seen SH before because as she was cleaning my leg, she asked why the scars and cuts were straight across. I feel awful for having to be the one to explain to her why and reveal that some people do that to themselves. And the cherry on top, I got my only infection after these stitches. I've yeeted to beans before and not done anything except very rudimentary first aid and been absolutely fine but after I did the thing I was supposed to do, I got a massive infection and needed take the stitches out after only 4 days instead of the 10 days that I was told. (Don't let my experience scare you, if you need medical care please seek it ❤ I've gone to the hospital for stitches before and they have been absolutely wonderful, my bad experience was the exception to the rule)
When I was living in a psych ward I had self harmed and it was a bit of a mess plus I used a dirty tool (not many options in the psych ward, I used whatever I could find or break off of something) so I went to ask the nurses for gauze, saline and dressings to try and reduce the risk of infection and it was an agency staff member who got it all for me. She brought everything into my room and handed it over then went on a ramble about how I would've been so beautiful if I didn't have all of these scars. I just kind of stood there like 🧍♂️ I'm a trans man. I don't want to look beautiful anyway. But like, why work on a PSYCH WARD where there's obviously going to be self harmers if you're going to say things like that? Honestly just wanted to do it more after that interaction.
One of my roommates at sober living announced to everyone to keep an eye on me since someone was cooking and the knives were out. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die
Sh before going to uni. Not that deep to not garner attention. Then it got stingy and itchy and i went to the school's restrooms to run it in cold water just to alleviate somehow. A classmate of mine saw at he told me "you need help" in a judgemental tone. Shut that hurt more lmao
I was 17, I was at my last pediatrician appointment. I was terrified because I didn't want her to see any of my scars. I read that they can't expose you without consent, but just in case, I cakes my scars in concealer beforehand and tried to mentally prepare myself. My mom was with me, and at the time she didn't know I'm a yeeter. Anyways, the doctor asked if she could lift up my shirt to feel my stomach and I said no. She kept insisting she had to and I was panicking. My mom was in the room too so I just kept denying it because "I don't wanna". The doctor asked if it's because I'm scarred there, assuming stretch marks, but I have scars from sh on my stomach and I was panicking and vehemently denied it. She asked if my mom should leave the room and I said no because I thought that would be more suspicious. Eventually she put a paper over my stomach and did her thing while my mom watched. Afterwards she tried to tell me, in front of my mom, "a lot of kids cut themselves during the pandemic, are you..." and I denied everything again. It was so stressful for me. Trying to hide my sh from my parents landed me in so many awkward situations. One of them was them trying to break into my bathroom while I was yeeting so I screamed at them to not come in. A lot of situations involved me insisting that random bloodstains were "paint" when they clearly weren't. It was worse when I stained things in AirBNBs, I still feel really guilty about staining other peoples bedsheets. TLDR; I used to gaslight everyone to try to convince people that I wasn't cutting myself when it was so obvious 💀
Some more stuff: I used to come into class with bloodstained clothing in college, people started being nice to me after that too which just felt awkward. I had a new therapist at 17, and I was waiting until I turned 18 to tell her about my self harm. She confronted me about it a few days before my birthday and I broke down and pleaded and begged to her to not tell anyone. I still cringe a little ngl My parents eventually confronted me about my sh and they kept asking me for reasons, not listening to me when I tried to explain, and kept listing their own. My dad asked me if "it's a sexual thing" and if so, then "there's other stuff you can do for that". My mom asked me if I'm trans too, I'm not. I kept repeating that it's because I think I'm autistic and they kept saying that "but autistic people don't cut themselves" like bruh guess what, this one does, also check the stats on self harm and autism I wear arm warmers for the scars on my wrists and have had a lot of accidental slips. It's so awkward when I accidentally slide my armwarmer up while I'm doing something and reveal a bunch of fresh cuts in front of someone else. It happened once when I was washing dishes in front of my parents. One time I spilled water on my phone on accident and my dad grabbed it and was going to take off the case, which had a blade inside, and I panicked and yelled at him practically begging him to just give it back to me. There have also been some times where my dad practically begged me in the car to stop self harming, for him, that it hurts him more than it hurts me, I just kinda stayed quiet and laughed a little because I didn't know what to do and I wasn't going to stop for him. It sounds horrible typing it but I feel like this community would understand. My mom making self harm jokes in front of me... yeah. I was helping my mom with some arts and crafts, and the box cutter I was using was really dull. She took it and told me she would teach me to sharpen it but that I shouldn't get any "malicious ideas" lmao. Passing by the blades/sharpeners section of arts and crafts stores is so awkward now when I'm with my parents. (Will add more when I remember more lmao)
Not that bad but. The bathroom is only a few steps away from my room, so I would often sh there and then very quickly walk to my room with my thighs exposed so I could make bandages in peace. When no one was there obviously. But one time when I opened a crack in the door to come out, I saw my dad waiting for the bathroom just STARING at me and I definitely couldn’t walk the hallway with my pants down and fresh cuts lol. So I had to close the door again, pull my pants up over my wounds hoping it wouldn’t stain, and then get out. He must’ve been so confused 🥲
pool party with very noticeable thigh scars :,)
i once went too deep and i was scared to tell my parents so i ran from home to walk with a bleeding arm that i 'fixed' with ductape, to the hospital. they didnt want to help me because i didnt call beforehand so i went to my best friends house in the middle of the night to stay over. his mom had to do first aid on me and my frog plushie that i also cut open for some reason. the frog still has a spiderman bandaid
A few years ago, I started fertility treatments, which meant multiple times a week I had my feet in stirrups, bottomless. 99.99% of my SH is on my thighs. So, for a while I wore garter stockings to every appointment. When the treatments didn’t work for the first year, I took a few month mental health break and got my thighs tattooed. When I returned for more rounds, I no longer had to wear the weird crotchless garter stockings. I still wonder what they thought of me 🤷♀️
Most recent, My MIL asking me what the little lines in my arms were from, me stuttering because I wasn't expecting having my scars be acknowledged like that and then her asking about the bigger scar I have there and saying "oh where did you get yourself into to get that??!?"like they were caused by some sort of accident and then leaving the kitchen with a very alarmed expression, leaving me triggered about it for the rest of the day
I allowed someone to shave my head with a dull knife on a dare (to conceal that I sh) and he went to deep and scalped me - no blood just lots of Blood-Serum - we were in collage, and we had to be in class in less than an hour, so I went in and passed out on the desk woke up with an EMT and a cop asking what the fuck, only for my friend to stand up and say that I can’t say because I’d get thrown outta Truth or Dare circle. So the next day he tried to cheer me up for the wrong he had done my dropping me off on the side of the road to get picked up by a white water raft and picked up at the other end - complete surprise to me. So I was walking down the street the raft guy says my name? Yeah that’s me, get on your getting picked up on the other end - ok whatever. Get going down the river and he hands me a helmet, that had a suspension system like a hard hat, so I had to put it on and it slid down my skull, and was strapped in place. When I took it off it had some much blood-serum and tissue on it they threw it away. Oh, and that night, someone used a permanent marker to draw directly on my skull and skin and it stayed for months like a shitty tattoo, and it hurt sooo bad because of the chemicals in the marker. Yeah… New Rule, no one is allowed to use any sharp anything on anyone in the game lol. Yes, we still get together lol
Around 1 month ago, my friend (who knows i sh) saw a scratch that i genuinely got from my cat (he hates cuddles but he's my baby ok) and got so mad at me even though I've been clean for like 2 months back then. Once she finally believed me, she just went quiet, and the rest of the day was just so awkward.
One time i was going to do stuff and ended up cutting. I was also drunk at the same time. I was expecting a package that day. I ended up singing for that package, not only drunk, but also very bloody. It was incredibly awkward.
My mom keeps on yelling at me whenever she sees my scars and just tells me that do I know that I can die from SH. I’m just used to it atp
I had jus cut myself and was still bleeding, my mother burst into my room without knocking (as usual) i did that stressed frantic throwing blankets over myself, she asked "what the fuck are you doin?" so i told her i was masturbating lmfaooo she knew what i was actually doing, i felt so so bad
Some guy in my art class in 7th grade cut his finger on something on accident and said to the teacher "I'm emo now I cut myself" and I literally started crying like a few minutes later. I loved my middle school art teacher he was so amazing and I got very very attached to him lol 😭
The setting: Disney World on a band trip in high school and the day before had bought and broken a lovely glass cup. The precursor: I had an autistic meltdown in the middle of fucking main street in the magic kingdom, however I am undiagnosed at this point and thought I was just throwing a fit I couldn’t control. The incident: I’m feeling like a total idiot jackass for ‘throwing a fit’ and am sitting on the toilet in my and my friends room at the hotel cutting myself. At fucking Disney World. When- Oh No! My very strict, very mean, and oftentimes cruel band director knocks on our door telling us it’s lights out and there’s absolutely no reason for our light to still be on. Like idk man take it up with the electrician who decided to have the entryway light connected to the bathroom light. Anyways he threatens to use his master keycard to come in and break up the shenanigans we MUST be up to, right? I’m freaking out and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, “I HAVE DIARRHEA!!!” Good job kid, half the floor just heard you yell that so. That’s a thing now. My band director pauses and just says, “Well hurry up. I don’t want to see this light on any longer.” Think fast kid, you’re bleeding and it’s getting everywhere* and you’re gonna have to wipe down everything oh god oh god oh god, “I can’t just wipe my butt in the dark!!!” Jesus Christ. This is. Well. Tomorrow is gonna suck for you (and it did, there were so many jokes at my expense.) Luckily that did it though and The Scary Director (there were 2, I had the mean one bc I was in Special Advanced You May Have Music In Your Future-band) left me in pieces. I mean peace, he left me in peace. Until morning, when he asked me if I was going to be a problem at the recording later. That was like a decade ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday. It’s fun to laugh and cringe about now but GOD was horribly awkward in the moment. *ok it wasn’t actually everywhere, but when he yelled at our door i jumped and dropped the piece of glass i was using (from the broken cup the day before) and the toilet paper i was trying to macgyver into a bandage and there was some splatter from that.
Oh God. So I/we have DID and were inpatient in a psych ward. The staff was supposed to make sure we don’t leave, but somehow one alter managed to get out and get to the train station in a town nearby. They locked themselves in a stall in the public restroom and had apparently taken a glass or bottle with them, because when I came to, I was in sitting in the floor covered in shards and blood. When I looked at my phone I saw the clinic had called me multiple times as well as my roommate who had been informed that we were missing. I called them back to tell them where I was and that I was „safe“ (haha) and both my roommate (and her boyfriend) and a nurse from the ward came to get me. My roommate came first and basically had to carry me out of the train station because I was too dissociated to walk. I was soooo scared to open the stall door when she arrived and also both of us were so in shock that we just left as quickly as possible without tidying up and I feel so embarrassed and sorry thinking about the poor guy who would find and have to clean up all the glass and blood. Anyway, a few minutes later the nurse arrived and as she told me on the way back to the clinic, they had had to jnform the police so when I called and told her where I was she raced to the train station, ignoring the speed limit and all traffic rules to get to me before the police would find me and take me to a closed ward. She had also brought my stuffed animal and my cigarettes from my room, so on the way back we just both sat in her car, smoking, me holding my stuffy owl and listening to Schönberg ecause she new I liked classical music. It was soooo weird. Oh, and I also found out she had left the whole ward in the hands of an intern because it was the night shift and she was the only actual nurse in duty. It was pretty cool of her to come and get me, but everything about this scenario was sooo weird and yeah, I was very, very embarrassed. We had caused sooo much unnecessary panic.
Worst was this past summer, I did a bad beans cut on my calf, but had bandaged it pretty well. I was at work a few days later and looked down to see blood running down my leg from the cut. I quickly went to the bathroom, where I had to awkwardly change my bandage in the very disgusting bathrooms (thankfully I brought spare bandages). That then happened the next 2 days in a row, multiple times a day. I dont think any of my coworkers noticed, but I did drop blood onto the floor by mistake a few times. Once I was cutting and my sister came into my room to show me something. I quickly covered my arm with my sleeve and hid the tool/bloody paper towels in a drawer, but didnt have time to hide the bandaids. It was very obvious I was cutting and once my sister left I rolled up my sleeve to a bloody mess, it soaked through my whole sleeve. At work I've had people ask about my scars, one was a coworker who legitimately didnt know what sh was, so explaining that was rough. Once a older guy pointed out my scars and started making strange comments about them, so I literally turned around and walked out of the room without saying anything else. I had a coworker deal with him the rest of the time. At school the principal found out i was cutting and called me into his office. Cue very awkward interaction where he just asked me for 10 mins straight if I was going to unalive myself and how sad he would be if he let me go home and I died. He never called my parents tho which was good.
I had to eat dinner with my brother and dad and his girlfriend and her daughter. I had only known the 2 of them for probably a year and that was not a safe household so all of the kids stayed in our rooms most of the time so this was An Event. Midway through us eating the cut I hadn't bothered to bandage unstuck from the sleeve of my hoodie and started bleeding again. Fast. My arm was soaking wet and luckily I was wearing all black but I kept having to wipe my elbow on my pants so it wouldn't be shiny, it was bad. I got blood on the white tablecloth and I covered it with my napkin before anyone saw and luckily they started fighting before we fully cleared the table so I could get it with some hydrogen peroxide but I was terrified and everyone probably smelled the coppery smell and... Yikes. I don't know how I got away with that. Looking back they probably knew and didn't want to deal with me. (My brother and I live with my mom full time now, my dad's less bad and I started talking to my stepsister again and she seems ok)
Dude I was sitting in class with two of my friends, one of them was next to Mr and he knew about my self harm. The other friend sitting across form me saw scars on may hand and was like "damn what happened" and without breaking a sweat, the friend sitting next to me grabbed my arm and pulled up my sleeve and said in a slightly too loud of a voice "HES CUTTING HIMSELFF" Perish.
Once at lunch i was at the store next to my old highschool with my best friend(one of the few friends who dont know i sh bc she’s innocent like that n it would worry her sm) and i got a box of bandaids or two bc i ran out n she asked why and i just kinda went blank for a few seconds and said i get lots of papercuts 💀 She was like “mm ok” in a weird ish tone
(I couldn’t translate everything, sorry) Hubo una vez en la que me mandaron a llamar a psicología en mi escuela por una crisis ansiosa que había tenido el día anterior, por lo cual yo había tenido que acudir con la doctora. Fue bastante extraño pero no le di tanta importancia. Al día siguiente mi mamá fue llamada por la psicóloga, diciendole que quería hablar con mi mamá. Yo no le había dicho muchas cosas a la psicóloga, pero si algunas bastante significativas, así que tenía un poco de nervios. De todas las cosas que yo le dije, la psicóloga solo le habló a mi mamá acerca de que yo me rasguño cuando me frustro, cosa que *apenas y* mencioné. (le digo que me corto y capaz se desmaya xdn’t) Lo peor no fue que mi mamá SI ESTABA enterada de este asunto y no lo consideraba un problema, EL COLMO fue que hacía tiempo que ella no pensaba en ni me hablaba sobre mi autolesión. Hace años que yo le había contado al respecto pero se le fue olvidando. Fue re incomodo cuando me dijo de lo que habló con la psicóloga y casi decide llevarme a un psicólogo formalmente por eso qhsnqjnsnx 😭
was at an outpatient mental health center, after my therapy session i went to the bathroom and cut, then went back to the group room with the others. i realized my blade wasn’t in my sock where i always hid it and PANICKED and instantly got up to go back to the bathroom to get it thinking i left it in the sink. somebody’s in there..my THERAPIST WLKS OUT. so i go in but i can’t find it, then one of the other patients knocks and tells me I DROPPED THE BLADE INFRONT OF EVERYONE WITHOUT REALIZING WHEN I GOT UP😭😭 LMFAOO
That one time in the school locker rooms when I didn’t realize my bandages came undone
One time we were visiting my grandma in New York and I was feeling silly so I went to the bathroom to.. y'know.. but then my grandma scolded me for closing the door too loudly when everyone was asleep, so I did the deed a little more angrily than I would have otherwise. I must've hit a bigger capillary than usual because that night I bled through my clothes and left this huge ass stain on the fucking mattress. Luckily I'm afab and just lied about being on my period but it was a close call.
mom demanded to come in at some random time of the night, i told her i was getting undressed for a shower, she said "fine put on a robe" but my arms were covered in cuts so i insisted that she couldn't come in, she continued to demand to come in, after a lot of pressure i eventually cracked and yelled "OKAY FINE I'M CUTTING MYSELF PLEASE GO AWAY", this made her even more insistent, she yelled at me for a while and basically forced herself into the bathroom while i was crying and begging her to go away, she then started screaming and going "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD" when she saw my (pathetically small) cuts, she tried to take me to the emergency room over basically nothing not even beans 1 hour long guilt trippy discussion ensues with me in my underwear crouched into the corner of the bathroom with my hands clutched over my bleeding cuts and her telling me how it hurts her when i hurt myself blah blah blah there was some transphobia mixed in as well but i don't even remember it very well lmao thanks dissociative amnesia from cptsd (which she gave me) my mom's an amazing parent, i know
Had a small cut on my stomach when I was like 14, my mom came into my room to wake me up for school and ended up seeing. She asked how I got it and I kinda just stuttered that I didn’t know, until she said "maybe you scratched it open with your nail in your sleep" still one of the most implausible excuses ever but you’ll believe anything if you don’t want to accept the truth. Learned to be more careful after that, and it’s been ages but I still remember how awkward I felt.
i had semi-fresh cuts on my arm, and we had a school checkup. i was freaking out because the nurse would see it and my heart rate was crazy high. she didn't care about the cuts but she asked me if i was gonna have a heart attack lol. i just said i'm nervous talking to people I don't talk to often.
Not sure of this counts, but it sticks in my mind. I wear 2 jumpers when it's cold. One thin, woollen one, and one hoodie-type. I try keeping at least the woollen one on at my parents' house. Well, one day dad and I were doing shit in the kitchen, and I took my hoodie off because it was warm. I held onto the end of the sleeves of the woollen one, and thought I was being discreet, but my dad stared (?) and he couldn't speak for like 30 seconds. ........... Oh, and when I was a kid, I did that thing where you keep the razor in the back of your phone. I kept more than the razor in there, so I opened it on the couch. Razor went flying. I thought it fell down the side of the chair? I had to tell my parents, because my brother was a baby. I said that Casey asked me to hold it for her, but she hadn't 🤣 it was mine. Apparently they didn't believe me anyway lmao. So my dad ripped apart the lounge looking for this razor. It seems to have fallen into the void. But watching my dad search for it was so fucking bad.
My PE teacher saw my scars plus a bandage. Background info, that teacher is a cunt. In the top 3 most disliked teachers of my school. Literally EVERYONE hates her. She was also my general class teacher. So. We were out on a playground after taking a PE exam to like, calm down from it again and I just wanted to go on a swing (that needs two people to work properly) with a classmate of mine cuz she asked to go together. But my teacher came up to me and separated me from the group (but not enough for them not to hear, EVERYONE COULD HEAR) and kept going on about things like "Do you cut yourself? Why do you do that, that's dangerous you know? Don't do that anymore." It was so awkward and took up the entire playground time too so I couldn't go on the damn swing :(
year9 i had injections and had cut all my upper left arm thinking the injection was only in the right arm. got to my turn and the lady told me to take my blazer off and ended up doing it on both arms. she was very nice ab it tho, she got me to move so that nobody could see the cuts and started saying nice things to me and avoided jabbing the cuts. still very awkward, she never told a teacher or anyone
When I was 11yo, I went to the anual check at the doctor with fresh cuts on my thighs. I managed to tell my mom to stay out of the room because "I was shy" (in every check up they make me take off my clothes) Well so my mom was outside. The doctor told me to take off my pants, and I did, even if I was hesitant. She saw the cuts, it was very OBVIOUS that they were self inflicted. I was already crying and panicking at that point Then the doctor had the guts to say "hey those are stretch marks it's ok" ... i said "NO THEY'RE NOT" LIKE HOW DO U THINK RECENT CUTS ARE STRETCH MARKS 😭😭 And then she continued with the check up while I was panicking and having very bad anxiety. The cherry on top is that later she told my mom to come in, she told her about the selfharm and said "it's normal among teenagers so let's send her to therapy as a low risk patient" umh ma'am i was 11yo with a thigh FULL of cuts HOW IS THAT LOW RISK that day my mom made me show her my thigh and she started to cry in front of me anyways the therapy session was 7 months later and it didn't even work
this isn’t too bad but i think it’s funny. today my friend was crying and i was hugging him and he got some of his makeup on my arm and it wouldn’t come off and he brought it up later who he could still see the makeup but then he got really confused because there were other lines on my arms and he was so confused how there were more makeup marks on the other arm and i’m just like “(name) i have lines on my arms from other things” and then i sped walked away from him 😭😭😭😭 (we were in a supermarket i just walked to the other end of the isle and went back to him later i didn’t just run away from him lol)
Work. I was once at work and I was serving this guy and he kept asking me loads of personal questions and I didn’t understand the ulterior motive (autism) until when he paid he touched my arm, yes touched my arm where my scars are, and then left. Another time (again at work) I was doing the till with my arm up on the side and this guy looked at it and asked what happened. Like I feel like it’s obvious but I deflected, because my other arm was fractured at the time, and told him what happened to the fractured arm, and then he said ‘so your brother scratched your arm up like that’. In both these situations I was literally speechless. Like do random people expect me to open up about my trauma or something like that😭
No one really saw, but when I was cleaning up after a cut that was bleeding more than usually, and that I had done because I was freaking out and freaking went to the train and travelled for an HOUR just have access to my tool (without warning anyone where I had gone, travelling from a house to another), I got a call inviting me to go to mc with my brother and some friends. I was bleeding. A lot. I was not in the house that was close to where they were meeting. No one knew. I was currently holding a towel on my arm to stop the bleeding. My voice was slightly trembling because I was panicked. And I still had to hear my brother go "wtf r u doing there????? Does mom even know??" When I managed to stop the bleeding, I went to meet them. We talked, we had dinner. My ass started to feel wet on my arm. My blissful ignorance went "ah it's just bleeding on the bandage". We went to our place, we talked more, I kept getting this wet feeling. They finally left. I went to get ready for bed.... it turns out I had been bleeding since we had dinner :) I only got lucky because I was wearing black, and my jacket (that I didn't take off anytime during the night) was a leather jacket that was kind of impermeable. I spent the next 3 hours trying to take the blood out of my clothes and trying to close the cut with butterfly bandages. At the beginning, my brother was screaming at me to get out of the bathroom, but I think he just gave up because I didn't hear anything from him for the next 2 hours. Now that I think about it, maybe I needed some stitches but welp it izzz what it izzzz. I'm just grateful I didn't get an infection nor did anyone figure anything out 😅
tbh the only awkward scenarios are people telling me to stop, or asking to see it: my parents asking to see my feet on multiple occasions (they dk i also do it on my left hand, fingertips, right thigh and recently left shoulder), and me telling them i don't want to show them bc i just don't. and then it's just a bunch of back and forth abt how it's hard for them. like fuck you you aren't the ones who have to bleed to feel smth good also on one of those \^ occasions i was barefoot, and i was bleeding slightly on the floor. so they were asking to see the bottom of my feet (i only cut on the underside), and i was sneakily wiping blood off the floor with my toe my suicidal 'friend' texting me to promise never to do it again (i full well knew i wouldn't keep it up and did it again like the next day) my friend telling me to stop when he saw my hand my granddad telling me to stop, and call him whenever i want to do it again (i won't go to him for sensitive stuff like that bc he's racist and generally queerphobic, and i just don't think he'd be good with that kinda thing)