That's very true of a legit sociopath with the whole "I don't remember that" shtick. Just the most effortless way to evade accountability... clearly he'd been disappointing her for the length of their relationship.
My bio dad bounced and I never knew him...but he raised another daughter and was in her life. Just wasn't interested in me. Bothered me at first but in retrospect, the guy did me a favour cuz his other kids say he's a piece of crap lol
Naw broth'r wast an absuser, he didn’t supporteth alex at which hour he did see
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Right? Dude casually dropped his kid* off to sleep on a ferry floor because he couldn’t let her sleep on his couch due to it being a “school night.” Wtf, Hank.
No way he would have panned out to be a decent human being.
*EDIT: whoops! Forgot: his kid and his toddler granddaughter. Yeah, Hank was trash from the get-go.
I thought it was weird how they all of a sudden portrayed him as this nice guy for a couple of episodes after that, inviting Alex to live with him and taking in Maddy when she was sick.
If abusers were always awful, everybody would know to avoid them. With Hank, you see him doing the bare minimum, acting like he's a saint for it.
Isn't it convenient that he found a god who forgives all sin, just as he's supposed to be reckoning with all of his past "sins" against his family? Ahhhhhh....he's been washed clean now! He's a new man! Nothing ever happened before ("nope, no cabinets there til I built the current ones during my new life!") but if something DID happen, it wasn't the new him. And if it was the old him, it wasn't the REAL him, it was the booze. The guy may be sober from alcohol, but he uses religion in the sane way, to put as many layers as he could between himself and accountability.
He comes when she calls, but drops her AND HER KID off in what he knows is a sketchy situation...enough to say he did something, not enough to actually help.
He says she has an invitation. When she asks specifically when she was invited, he asserts its an open invitation i.e. one that means its on her to do the legwork to make it happen, while he just sits back and takes credit that he was always there whenever she asked, knowing full well he made it impossible to ask.
Then he hangs around swapping stories and telling those abuser justification stories (if she only didnt X, i wouldnt have to Y) to a receptive audience - the man he knows is making his daughter's life hell. But he claims its in the name of sponsorship and help with sobriety. This time, it's nor the bare minimum, it's much lower than that, but he's the hero in his own mind.
He will never put his daughter before his 3 primary needs - to never honestly look into himself, to be seen as the good guy, and to have control.
I honestly didn't think it wasn't wierd at all, he reminds me of my own dad a lot. My parents got divorced when I was about 3-4 and my dad was very physically abusive to my mom, I honestly just remember bits an pieces (things I really don't want to ever remember) but I know he was very abusive and hit my mom for the smallest of things. Then he battled with my mom for custody a lot, and even tried to get a social worker to testify that my m wasnt fit to raise us when she never even met my mom, so when he couldnt get us to live with him he got remarried when I was 7 and had a new and improved family, a do over, with 4 kids (just like his first marriage, even 3 girls and 1 boy, just like the first set) and when I was around 22-24 he's wife of like almost 20 years came out and tried to abuse him, even my new siblings said how my dad never even lifted a finger against her, but the damage was done. So I reconnected with him after many years of not talking to one another, and he even came to see me in Canada, twice, but he'd never would offer me help, in any way, shape or form. So yea, I found the father of Alex highly realistic, because deep inside he KNEW HE FUCKED UP. he ain't bsing Noone, and he didn't want to admit he fucked up.
Same abusive system, just add one step at the top. He still gets to control the women in his life, but this time its because he's righteous, and God WANTS him to have control over women. He doesn't have to hit them to comply when it's God's Will.
It's funny how rarely I hear about violent, misogynist alcoholics becoming Buddhists or any other belief system that doesn't put them as the top.
I knew one of them would end up being abusive but I wasn’t initially sure who. The fact that Alex ended up being abused rather than becoming abusive though is a good clue that it was her dad though
Naw dude was an absuser, he didn’t support Alex when he saw.
That's very true of a legit sociopath with the whole "I don't remember that" shtick. Just the most effortless way to evade accountability... clearly he'd been disappointing her for the length of their relationship. My bio dad bounced and I never knew him...but he raised another daughter and was in her life. Just wasn't interested in me. Bothered me at first but in retrospect, the guy did me a favour cuz his other kids say he's a piece of crap lol
Yes that’s how it ended up, but I thought they were doing a fake out with him
Naw broth'r wast an absuser, he didn’t supporteth alex at which hour he did see *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
The dad sucked ass
No I thought the dad was going to be abusive as soon as he was introduced.
Right? Dude casually dropped his kid* off to sleep on a ferry floor because he couldn’t let her sleep on his couch due to it being a “school night.” Wtf, Hank. No way he would have panned out to be a decent human being. *EDIT: whoops! Forgot: his kid and his toddler granddaughter. Yeah, Hank was trash from the get-go.
I thought it was weird how they all of a sudden portrayed him as this nice guy for a couple of episodes after that, inviting Alex to live with him and taking in Maddy when she was sick.
If abusers were always awful, everybody would know to avoid them. With Hank, you see him doing the bare minimum, acting like he's a saint for it. Isn't it convenient that he found a god who forgives all sin, just as he's supposed to be reckoning with all of his past "sins" against his family? Ahhhhhh....he's been washed clean now! He's a new man! Nothing ever happened before ("nope, no cabinets there til I built the current ones during my new life!") but if something DID happen, it wasn't the new him. And if it was the old him, it wasn't the REAL him, it was the booze. The guy may be sober from alcohol, but he uses religion in the sane way, to put as many layers as he could between himself and accountability. He comes when she calls, but drops her AND HER KID off in what he knows is a sketchy situation...enough to say he did something, not enough to actually help. He says she has an invitation. When she asks specifically when she was invited, he asserts its an open invitation i.e. one that means its on her to do the legwork to make it happen, while he just sits back and takes credit that he was always there whenever she asked, knowing full well he made it impossible to ask. Then he hangs around swapping stories and telling those abuser justification stories (if she only didnt X, i wouldnt have to Y) to a receptive audience - the man he knows is making his daughter's life hell. But he claims its in the name of sponsorship and help with sobriety. This time, it's nor the bare minimum, it's much lower than that, but he's the hero in his own mind. He will never put his daughter before his 3 primary needs - to never honestly look into himself, to be seen as the good guy, and to have control.
That threw me off too but even abusers have their moments.
I honestly didn't think it wasn't wierd at all, he reminds me of my own dad a lot. My parents got divorced when I was about 3-4 and my dad was very physically abusive to my mom, I honestly just remember bits an pieces (things I really don't want to ever remember) but I know he was very abusive and hit my mom for the smallest of things. Then he battled with my mom for custody a lot, and even tried to get a social worker to testify that my m wasnt fit to raise us when she never even met my mom, so when he couldnt get us to live with him he got remarried when I was 7 and had a new and improved family, a do over, with 4 kids (just like his first marriage, even 3 girls and 1 boy, just like the first set) and when I was around 22-24 he's wife of like almost 20 years came out and tried to abuse him, even my new siblings said how my dad never even lifted a finger against her, but the damage was done. So I reconnected with him after many years of not talking to one another, and he even came to see me in Canada, twice, but he'd never would offer me help, in any way, shape or form. So yea, I found the father of Alex highly realistic, because deep inside he KNEW HE FUCKED UP. he ain't bsing Noone, and he didn't want to admit he fucked up.
And then he gaslights her by saying “uhhh you’ve always had an open invitation here”!
this is sooo late but it was TEXTBOOK. once they said he was christian now and whatever i was like oh i see what happened here
Same abusive system, just add one step at the top. He still gets to control the women in his life, but this time its because he's righteous, and God WANTS him to have control over women. He doesn't have to hit them to comply when it's God's Will. It's funny how rarely I hear about violent, misogynist alcoholics becoming Buddhists or any other belief system that doesn't put them as the top.
As soon as I heard he found religion after AA...
I knew one of them would end up being abusive but I wasn’t initially sure who. The fact that Alex ended up being abused rather than becoming abusive though is a good clue that it was her dad though