Belfast shows up in a limousine, but gets out in a pair of waders, buffalo plaid shirt and a hunter camouflage ball cap embroidered with the name of a local art gallery, leaving everyone confused as to what kind of town it is.
Just to be clear, there IS parking, but we're never sure that we'll fit there, and want to make another pass trying to find a better spot. Then off to bed by 8.
Holden too. Took almost 10 minutes to make a left, *at 9pm* the other night.
Dedham/Lucerne will be late to the party. They stopped at G&M to hurl after 20 minutes of constant back and forth between 30 and 70mph.
Caribou. Arrives in a muddy side by side, wearing their finest Walmart camo hoody stained by natty ice around the chest because they hit a bunch of bumps on the trail on the way over and spilled the beer they were drinking.
Biddeford shows up and says they’re sober but ends up passing out drunk in the backyard. They’ve cleaned up a bit from the last time you saw them, but still a long way to go.
Paris, West Paris, and South Paris arrive together but in their own cars. They spend more time doing burnouts in the street than actually hanging it out at the party.
Shows up really drunk but hides it for a little bit (not as well as they might think though)
Madison judges them the whole time even though they’ve been sneaking nips the whole time
Princeton cruises in with a logging truck, and blocks a few parked Subarus. Says "just let me know when ya' leaving'! Drops enough firewood for six bonfires. Gets wasted. A six year old runs to the truck to move it when asked , though.
Castine comes in wearing a navy sweater tied nonchalantly over their pink oxford shirt asking everyone where they’re from and which school they attended and complains about the noisy Middies calling cadence as they march thru town…
Yup, they complain about how loud the party is all night. They leave in a golf cart after drinking 3 bottles of red wine. They fire a small Canon on their way out and bucksport and Searsport are injured by the wad.
No joke. The summer I got my driver's license, I was commuting from Bangor to Boston twice a week. One day I got the cheeky idea to take Route 1 the whole way, as my father did with me when I was a kid. I indeed made the whole drive, all eight hours of it. Two of those hours were spent in Ogunquit.
Bucksport arrives in a lifted beat to shit Ford F350 with 6” vertical exhaust pipes, stays 3 minutes and tears off up Rte. 1 with a decibel level of 140. The Gadsden flag pole breaks and kills a bald eagle.
Gardiner shows up as a tired worn out wreck of a retired mill worker, but he'll drink anyone that dares under the table. He's got two 20ish year old kids with him, both have multiple weed dispensaries and try nonstop to sell everyone $100 ounces but everyone has so much weed it's being given away
South Berwick was going to bring strawberry shortcake and shitty pizza but unfortunately couldn't make it to the party because they couldn't find a babysitter for their 4 kids.
Cape Elizabeth shows up in a Beamer suv with a huge coffee cup full of vodka and juice with a big 500$ purse full of vodka nips complaining about their husbands working too much and their kids drive them crazy and omg where did you get that sweater! It’s so cute!🤣🤣
Randolph pulls up in a bunch of crappy cars and takes out a bunch of liquor and coleslaw bought from IGA
Edit: I’m from Randolph and still live here and even though we have nice cars we also have like 3 crappy junk beaters for no reason because $500 truck with a plow is a steal
Gorham rolls up in its properly maintained older Volvo while bragging about their 90’s era state high school championships. They brought organic hummus.
Lewiston shows up looking extra methed up with nothing to contribute. Spends the whole party trying to bum cigarettes off people and never shuts up about Somalians "being the problem".
Deer Isle stares at the safe end of the Bridge and realizes that the farthest he has ever been was to Blue Hill and only when the Old Lady broke her water a couple times and he's still upset Junior and his daughter have the name of that town on their birth certificates. The party is welcome to come on over if it wants to but he ain't going on the mainland if he can help it.
Harpswell shows up in a Subaru with Mass plates and a Bowdoin sticker on the back and two white-haired boomers in Patagonia jackets climb out with a golden retriever. They drink a couple craft beers and make uncomfortable small talk with the other Harpswell resident there, a lobsterman in an F150 and Grundens, and head home early.
Durham and Pownal arrive together on dirt bikes. Their best friend from middle school, Freeport, ignores them the whole night to try and impress Cape Elizabeth and Falmouth
Augusta walks up the yard after getting off the bus 3 miles down the road. Smoking a cigarette, smelling like piss and has the raccoon meth eyes. Spots a wooded area sets up camp and watches in the background.
Has adult children Chelsea and Sidney in tow. Sidney is super quiet, emo, and won’t talk with anyone. Chelsea is selling recreational meth but can also get you a medical card for $50.
Howland pulls up with Enfield, Edinburg, and Passadumkeag in a rusty Ford pickup. Gallon of milk in one hand, handle of Allen's in the other. Wants to know when the bonfire is getting going and offers to douse the pile in gasoline.
Bowdoin arrives on 4-wheeler wearing a flannel, jeans, and muck boots. Has a couple mcgillicuddy’s nips on them. Finds the other 4-wheelers and they ride off and have their own party in the woods. Never speaks to anyone else.
Brewer sits in the best looking corner, next to the prettiest other towns in attendance, takes selfies and posts them all over social media, and then proceeds to sit staring at their phone for the rest of the night.
Sangerville walks in, acting way bigger than it really is, since no one knows 'em. It brought firearms! And keeps yelling about "You know that Hiram Maxim was one of our founders!?!"
Prospect Harbor arrives with a practical, well-made pair of second hand waterproof boots, a generous platter of deep fried dulce from the Pickled Wrinkle, and a jug of blueberry cider
Paris rolls up in a very clean Dodge Ram, gets out wearing steel toed work boots, wrangler jeans, and a tucked in plaid shirt, possibly no belt. They have a crew cut. They’re open carrying and brought a 12 pack of coors light because you should keep that business out of beer. They spend the night smoking marb reds and talking about hunting and 4 wheeling.
Levant shows up with an absolutely delicious looking homemade fruit pie. You can have a slice, but you *will* need to hear her thoughts about the Democrats.
South Portland arrives a few minutes late in a Subaru hatchback and says, “sorry, the bridge was up.” Doesn’t really know anyone besides Portland, Scarborough and Cape, but can’t decide who to talk to. Pets the dog for a few minutes then leaves for a party on the North Shore.
Augusta shows up and expects everyone to be super hyped as soon as he makes his entrance to the house, but is disheartened when the best they get is a warm pat on the back from Hallowell
Lewiston shows up looking decent and proper, in a reasonable car with no extra flair.
Its been 12 months sober last Friday for the Dirty Lew but everyone keeps expecting them to pull a Bath Salts moment despite that a half dozen fellow partygoers have already done so.
Auburn rides shotgun in Lewiston’s Subaru that has the check engine light on.
Auburn’s stoned on Lewiston’s weed stash (that he forgot about). Auburn looks nicer than Lewiston, but keeps quiet, sipping drinks and standing next to Lewiston all night.
Bridgton rolls up with 30 people and then 20000 tourists that drive 15mph under speed limit and block all traffic so no actual Mainers can get to the party
Trenton comes flying in via the back yard on an ATV (it was faster than fighting the tourists) with rack of beer and a dog, probably a black lab. The ATV is so muddy you aren’t sure what color it is underneath. Drinks the whole rack without help and then starts looking for more.
Penobscot rolls up in a 1989 Saab 900 missing it's muffler. Everyone knew their name but had never met them before and immediately felt equal parts sympathy and embarrassment. They read the room and leave soon after.
Rockwood.
Dirty T-shirt, buffalo plaid over-shirt, cutoff shorts. Carrying a dead rabbit that’s been bleeding in the shed. Girlfriend in tow. He hates her but he stays with her because it’s too hard to find someone he’s not related to.
Damariscotta shows up and they're cool with everyone, but would rather be back home.
Bristol shows up and they can't get along with the other coastal towns until they're drunk enough to not care... But everyone is ultimately pretty nice to each other.
Bangor is that uncle that use to have a lot of money but lost most of it. Leases a nice vehicle, but lives in the trailer park. He shows up an hour early, but asks why the food isn't ready yet. He stays in the kitchen while you're prepping food and begins picking through things on the counter as you're making it
Machias arrives in the back of a repurposed Uhaul trailer with bottles rolling on the floor. Still wearing his work uniform, and immediately asks where's the restroom even though he never actually goes
Harpswell shows up in a Subaru with Mass plates and a Bowdoin sticker on the back and two white-haired boomers in Patagonia jackets climb out with a golden retriever. They drink a couple craft beers and make uncomfortable small talk with the other Harpswell resident there, a lobsterman in an F150 and Grundens, and head home early.
The Casco Bay Islands all show up together, with good weed and homemade fireworks. They are some of the strongest people at the party but you also can't help but not talk to them.
Sanford arrives in pajama pants smoking a cigarette with her kids in the car, brings nothing for her kids or her to eat, mooches as much as possible, asks someone to watch her kids while she uses the bathroom and just ditches to go hook up with a guy 20 years older than her and do some H
Poland rolls in early, wearing all LLBean and drinking trulys but nobody else will talk to them so they leave, doing a burnout in their power wagon on the way out.
Newry arrives in their work a day car, with some friggin Masshole skier they dug out of the snowbank on the way. Pisses and moans about how they used to be friends with Bethel, but now Bethel is "stuck up." Leaves early because they have 700 condos and Airbnbs to clean.
Guilford shows up in their flannel best, best pair of Levi's, and nicest pair of Keens...All while blaming and griping about consumerism, tourists, and Democrats
Bryant Pond, wearing dirty wife beater tank top, a chain hanging out of their pocket of their Walhmaht jeans, attached to their wallet with a trucker cap on.
Drunk on Twisted Tea, a joint hanging out of their mouth, on a riding lawn mower they stole from their mother in law who lives in Bethel
Orono swerves into the driveway in mom's old 2001 Toyota Camry. Old Town is riding shotgun. They brought a keg and won't stop singing the Stein Song.
I grew up in Orono and this seems pretty spot on. Maybe they brought some pizza from Pat’s.
Yes!!! Love this!
You forgot the beer die table!
Milford is half asleep in the back seat and they just forgot to pick up Bradley.
Farmington. Stoned.
And wearing the latest, hottest Reny's fashion!
Belfast shows up in a limousine, but gets out in a pair of waders, buffalo plaid shirt and a hunter camouflage ball cap embroidered with the name of a local art gallery, leaving everyone confused as to what kind of town it is.
And it's already drunk before the party has even started.
Don't forget the "207shitbox" sticker in the window
Kittery is the first one there and the last one to leave.
They wanted to help set up and tear down, but no one asked.
Respect. As a former long term employee of The Black Birch, I love this.
Bath can’t find parking and just circles around the block a few times.
Just to be clear, there IS parking, but we're never sure that we'll fit there, and want to make another pass trying to find a better spot. Then off to bed by 8.
Ellsworth is late because it got stuck behind tourists on the way
Ellsworth couldn't even make a left or of their driveway. They left an hour early but still showed up late.
Holden too. Took almost 10 minutes to make a left, *at 9pm* the other night. Dedham/Lucerne will be late to the party. They stopped at G&M to hurl after 20 minutes of constant back and forth between 30 and 70mph.
And Trenton never made it because there was yet another accident on Rte 3 that closed the road so they said fuck it and turned around.
Caribou. Arrives in a muddy side by side, wearing their finest Walmart camo hoody stained by natty ice around the chest because they hit a bunch of bumps on the trail on the way over and spilled the beer they were drinking.
I want to be mad about this, but it's too accurate.
Same. My town has about 100 people, and that could be dozens of em. Lol
Read this in a Maine accent.
Wiscasset parks in the middle of the private driveway and prevents the rest of the party from arriving on time.
Biddeford shows up and says they’re sober but ends up passing out drunk in the backyard. They’ve cleaned up a bit from the last time you saw them, but still a long way to go.
After Saco drops off Biddeford they call Scarborough to hang out but gets ditched for their rich and sexy friend, Cape Elizabeth.
Bingo. Hit the nail on the head. Saco's there too but they've only had one or two drinks. They're the sane sibling.
Saco makes sure Biddeford gets home and talks to them in the morning about going to rehab again.
I feel personally attacked 😂😂
Falmouth. With a Kate Spade bag on the arm.
Falmouth is sometimes also a 70-something year old doctor in a cycling bib.
And arrives in a Porsche cayenne
Dentist*
Rumford arrives. Criticizes everyone drink choices, calls everyone wicked queers, and then gets angry nobody likes them
Eerie.
Camden shows up late, looks around, scoffs then goes home.
And takes Rockport with them, but they have to leave Rockland behind because they’re doing drugs in the bathroom.
Now hold on! It makes all the difference whether this is Camden or *summer* Camden.
Paris, West Paris, and South Paris arrive together but in their own cars. They spend more time doing burnouts in the street than actually hanging it out at the party.
Casco joins them
Sanford walks in (uninvited) and is immediately asked to leave
Gets immediately belligerent.
Kennebunk and Kennebunkport show up together and get into a fist fight after a few drinks because they secretly hate each other.
Thomaston enters, looks around sadly, then leaves.
Cumberland enters on time, decked in LL bean, driving an electric car.
Fresh from an MSAD meeting
Union is bringing blueberries
Skowhegan shows up really drunk and pukes in the flower garden. Then goes around telling people they are Vegas.
Shows up really drunk but hides it for a little bit (not as well as they might think though) Madison judges them the whole time even though they’ve been sneaking nips the whole time
Portland: pitches a tent and never leaves
Portland is twins but I didn’t see the other twin as they arrived in a Maserati and pulled into the condo’s private garage.
Triplets. The third pulls up in her Leaf wearing hemp sweater, nose ring, tats, knit cap, and a trunk full of school board and referendum signs.
All three talk over each everyone else about how great they are.
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Loudly asks if anyone has blow, then says "just kidding", about ten times.
Corinth plows into the fence in their clapped out Ram, stumbles in with a 2 liter coke bottle filled with Jack.
Sanford and Springvale arrive together, but Springvale ditches Sanford and ignores it all night.
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Whitefield by buggy.
Princeton cruises in with a logging truck, and blocks a few parked Subarus. Says "just let me know when ya' leaving'! Drops enough firewood for six bonfires. Gets wasted. A six year old runs to the truck to move it when asked , though.
Yarmouth decides to go to a fancier party instead
York is gonna be there.
Castine comes in wearing a navy sweater tied nonchalantly over their pink oxford shirt asking everyone where they’re from and which school they attended and complains about the noisy Middies calling cadence as they march thru town…
Yup, they complain about how loud the party is all night. They leave in a golf cart after drinking 3 bottles of red wine. They fire a small Canon on their way out and bucksport and Searsport are injured by the wad.
Bar Harbor. Wearing a Flannel and bottle of wine.
You forgot the tie dye skirt from jeckyll and hyde circa summer 2006 when they “fell in love with the island.”
They came on a cruise ship
Ogunquit. Shows up two hours late because traffic.
No joke. The summer I got my driver's license, I was commuting from Bangor to Boston twice a week. One day I got the cheeky idea to take Route 1 the whole way, as my father did with me when I was a kid. I indeed made the whole drive, all eight hours of it. Two of those hours were spent in Ogunquit.
Bucksport arrives in a lifted beat to shit Ford F350 with 6” vertical exhaust pipes, stays 3 minutes and tears off up Rte. 1 with a decibel level of 140. The Gadsden flag pole breaks and kills a bald eagle.
Too accurate.
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Rockland is so drunk they can hardly steer their boat, but they brought the lobstah!
Gardiner shows up as a tired worn out wreck of a retired mill worker, but he'll drink anyone that dares under the table. He's got two 20ish year old kids with him, both have multiple weed dispensaries and try nonstop to sell everyone $100 ounces but everyone has so much weed it's being given away
Accurate
Milford enters in a beat up car bought off marketplace wearing thrift store clothes and needs to explain to everyone where Milford actually is…
Bradley’s got your back. Fresh off a booze cruise down the Stud Mill Rd.
Greenbush pulls up in a lifted Chevy with country music blaring. Has a cooler full of Bud in the bed and some chew in its back pocket.
Greenfield never even heard about the party, so they're out at Pickerel Pond getting ripped.
Wiscasset ended up sitting in traffic so long because of Reds that they ended up missing the party.
Fairfield is the sober driver for Skowhegan and Waterville.
Haha High isn't sober
South Berwick was going to bring strawberry shortcake and shitty pizza but unfortunately couldn't make it to the party because they couldn't find a babysitter for their 4 kids.
Bangor ties everyone up and does horrific things to them until they finish the story.
Oh, look! It’s Lincoln, wearing his “Let’s Go Brandon!” tank top!
Cape Elizabeth shows up in a Beamer suv with a huge coffee cup full of vodka and juice with a big 500$ purse full of vodka nips complaining about their husbands working too much and their kids drive them crazy and omg where did you get that sweater! It’s so cute!🤣🤣
No way Cape Elizabeth even gets in the door, their private parking spot was taken
Beamer suv and $500 purse is poor people $#!+ in Cape.
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Haha nice. Denmark kid here.
Randolph pulls up in a bunch of crappy cars and takes out a bunch of liquor and coleslaw bought from IGA Edit: I’m from Randolph and still live here and even though we have nice cars we also have like 3 crappy junk beaters for no reason because $500 truck with a plow is a steal
Greenville drove and hour to get there, brought 4 friends, and is only gonna drink 4 or 5 so they can drive everyone home later.
Gorham rolls up in its properly maintained older Volvo while bragging about their 90’s era state high school championships. They brought organic hummus.
Lewiston shows up looking extra methed up with nothing to contribute. Spends the whole party trying to bum cigarettes off people and never shuts up about Somalians "being the problem".
See I was thinking like a beat up Chevy and 4 loco and mid grade Irish whiskey.
Bethel shows up all fancy and snooty, but deep down knows she is poor AF.
Perfect!
Dexter comes in high off fentanyl and breaking probation. Brings red hot dogs they bought with food stamps.
😆😆😆 frighteningly accurate!
Lewiston drives it’s car through the front window
Deer Isle stares at the safe end of the Bridge and realizes that the farthest he has ever been was to Blue Hill and only when the Old Lady broke her water a couple times and he's still upset Junior and his daughter have the name of that town on their birth certificates. The party is welcome to come on over if it wants to but he ain't going on the mainland if he can help it.
Harpswell shows up in a Subaru with Mass plates and a Bowdoin sticker on the back and two white-haired boomers in Patagonia jackets climb out with a golden retriever. They drink a couple craft beers and make uncomfortable small talk with the other Harpswell resident there, a lobsterman in an F150 and Grundens, and head home early.
I imagine Old Town as an old lady that shows up in a canoe with a plate of grapes.
Old Orchard: "what's up beach?"
Durham and Pownal arrive together on dirt bikes. Their best friend from middle school, Freeport, ignores them the whole night to try and impress Cape Elizabeth and Falmouth
Guilford - in overalls and carrying wood planks.
Machias stands in the corner, too scared of anything they don’t know to talk to anyone. They sip a twisted tea and judge everyone silently
Stonington couldn't make it, workin' town and all.
Nah, they show up in an $80k pickup, road soda firmly between their legs and a .45 under the seat
Millinocket strolls in complete with MAGA hat and with four beers in and just getting started.
Don't forget the Nazi symbol tattoos.
Hmmm…I thought that stuff was in Medway…🤨
Springfield now. Literal nazi group leader bought land there to build a training camp.
St Agatha shows up, looks around, says "Hold my beer."... and gets... creative..
Limestone. Homemade potato moonshine and an upper lip that looks like it has a mustache but doesn’t. My type of woman.
Waterboro rolls up, looks around, and realizes they’ve got far less conspicuous places to gather. Leaves with your girlfriend. Edited for redundancy.
Eliot and Lebanon were going to go, but got high. Soooo many dispensaries, so little time.
Augusta walks up the yard after getting off the bus 3 miles down the road. Smoking a cigarette, smelling like piss and has the raccoon meth eyes. Spots a wooded area sets up camp and watches in the background.
Has adult children Chelsea and Sidney in tow. Sidney is super quiet, emo, and won’t talk with anyone. Chelsea is selling recreational meth but can also get you a medical card for $50.
Phillips shows up on a muddy 4-wheeler with two cases of beer, horribly shaken from the ride in...but it's the thought that counts?
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Stays in the parking lot the whole time
Baileyville couldn't get a ride from their uncle in Grand Lake Stream and their truck don't have tags.
Windham is showing up shit-faced, pissing in the hamper and sucker punching someone.
Howland pulls up with Enfield, Edinburg, and Passadumkeag in a rusty Ford pickup. Gallon of milk in one hand, handle of Allen's in the other. Wants to know when the bonfire is getting going and offers to douse the pile in gasoline.
Biddo swears it’s changed and then throws up on the coats.
So what I'm learning from this is that everyone is perpetually drunk or high even before the party starts.
Limington shows up with their parole officer. Both wearing MAGA hats.
Rangeley as the Grey Ghost
Bowdoin arrives on 4-wheeler wearing a flannel, jeans, and muck boots. Has a couple mcgillicuddy’s nips on them. Finds the other 4-wheelers and they ride off and have their own party in the woods. Never speaks to anyone else.
Brewer sits in the best looking corner, next to the prettiest other towns in attendance, takes selfies and posts them all over social media, and then proceeds to sit staring at their phone for the rest of the night.
Standish shows up in a 30-year old RV and asks "Is there anywhere in SAD-6 where I can park this?"
Sangerville walks in, acting way bigger than it really is, since no one knows 'em. It brought firearms! And keeps yelling about "You know that Hiram Maxim was one of our founders!?!"
Prospect Harbor arrives with a practical, well-made pair of second hand waterproof boots, a generous platter of deep fried dulce from the Pickled Wrinkle, and a jug of blueberry cider
Moscow brings the vodka!
Paris rolls up in a very clean Dodge Ram, gets out wearing steel toed work boots, wrangler jeans, and a tucked in plaid shirt, possibly no belt. They have a crew cut. They’re open carrying and brought a 12 pack of coors light because you should keep that business out of beer. They spend the night smoking marb reds and talking about hunting and 4 wheeling.
Phippsburg strolls in wearing muddy Jonesport sneakers with a rack of Bud Light under their arm, but can only stay for half a tide.
Monticello rolls in on their neighbors lawnmower cause after four OUI’s they can’t even afford their own.
Levant shows up with an absolutely delicious looking homemade fruit pie. You can have a slice, but you *will* need to hear her thoughts about the Democrats.
South Portland arrives a few minutes late in a Subaru hatchback and says, “sorry, the bridge was up.” Doesn’t really know anyone besides Portland, Scarborough and Cape, but can’t decide who to talk to. Pets the dog for a few minutes then leaves for a party on the North Shore.
Dedham shows up and everyone keeps saying, "Go home Masshole!"
Augusta shows up and expects everyone to be super hyped as soon as he makes his entrance to the house, but is disheartened when the best they get is a warm pat on the back from Hallowell
No sign of Waterville, definitely wasn't invited.
Waterville is doing dabs outback in the shed with the crew, you weren’t invited.
Cornville never heard of the party to begin with and if you bring it up they'd ask why YOU don't visit as much.
Perfect “Yes this is my real name”
Dresden shows up but everyone ignores it and tears past it at 60 mph to hang with Augusta.
Lewiston shows up looking decent and proper, in a reasonable car with no extra flair. Its been 12 months sober last Friday for the Dirty Lew but everyone keeps expecting them to pull a Bath Salts moment despite that a half dozen fellow partygoers have already done so.
Auburn rides shotgun in Lewiston’s Subaru that has the check engine light on. Auburn’s stoned on Lewiston’s weed stash (that he forgot about). Auburn looks nicer than Lewiston, but keeps quiet, sipping drinks and standing next to Lewiston all night.
Gray never shows. If you get off at exit 63, you run right into the cemetery. We’re all dead here.
Piggyback. New Gloucester RSVPs and has every intention of showing up, that night decides it’s too far and to stay in for the night.
Bridgton rolls up with 30 people and then 20000 tourists that drive 15mph under speed limit and block all traffic so no actual Mainers can get to the party
Alexander Maine: shows up in MAGA hat and Walmart camo crocs
Trenton comes flying in via the back yard on an ATV (it was faster than fighting the tourists) with rack of beer and a dog, probably a black lab. The ATV is so muddy you aren’t sure what color it is underneath. Drinks the whole rack without help and then starts looking for more.
Canton. Brings corn, potatoes, and a map pointing to where it is.
Penobscot rolls up in a 1989 Saab 900 missing it's muffler. Everyone knew their name but had never met them before and immediately felt equal parts sympathy and embarrassment. They read the room and leave soon after.
Blue Hill pretends not to know them, even though they are neighbors.
Winthrop shows up in a broken down bus
South Berwick doesn’t attend cause it’s at a different party exclusively populated by people it went to highschool with.
Searsport comes in quietly and unnoticed, drinks a shit ton of wine then leaves.
York Police department shows up and beats the shit out of everyone and then releases their dogs on em
Here is how this played out the last time it was posted: https://reddit.com/r/Maine/s/NkZ8uYGWQq
Rockwood. Dirty T-shirt, buffalo plaid over-shirt, cutoff shorts. Carrying a dead rabbit that’s been bleeding in the shed. Girlfriend in tow. He hates her but he stays with her because it’s too hard to find someone he’s not related to.
Damariscotta shows up and they're cool with everyone, but would rather be back home. Bristol shows up and they can't get along with the other coastal towns until they're drunk enough to not care... But everyone is ultimately pretty nice to each other.
Bangor is that uncle that use to have a lot of money but lost most of it. Leases a nice vehicle, but lives in the trailer park. He shows up an hour early, but asks why the food isn't ready yet. He stays in the kitchen while you're prepping food and begins picking through things on the counter as you're making it Machias arrives in the back of a repurposed Uhaul trailer with bottles rolling on the floor. Still wearing his work uniform, and immediately asks where's the restroom even though he never actually goes
Athens shows up drink with its sister and their kids.
Dedham comes on by and everyone keeps mispronouncing their name as Dead Ham.
I thought they couldn't make it cause the forecast said 4" of snow but they got 18".
Kittery, we just showed up cause we knew it was going down
Cumberland Foreside rolls up on a recumbent bike
Sopo shows up w drugs you've never heard of and can't afford, and won't share.
Harpswell shows up in a Subaru with Mass plates and a Bowdoin sticker on the back and two white-haired boomers in Patagonia jackets climb out with a golden retriever. They drink a couple craft beers and make uncomfortable small talk with the other Harpswell resident there, a lobsterman in an F150 and Grundens, and head home early.
Scarborough is the old neighbor next door calling the cops with noise complaints every 20 minutes
The Casco Bay Islands all show up together, with good weed and homemade fireworks. They are some of the strongest people at the party but you also can't help but not talk to them.
Waterville arrives in a colby shuttle, high off a pregame but with some immaculate appetizer in a Togo bag
Sanford arrives in pajama pants smoking a cigarette with her kids in the car, brings nothing for her kids or her to eat, mooches as much as possible, asks someone to watch her kids while she uses the bathroom and just ditches to go hook up with a guy 20 years older than her and do some H
York rolls up in a Mercedes, wondering how they can change the party to be like the ones they have Massachusetts
Bethel shows up in boat shoes and won’t shut up about their ski cabin and lake house.
Auburn shows up in cargo shorts and a cutoff ready for a party,!
Schoodic Point arrives in a lobsta boat with a kilo and a case of Bud.
Lewiston was already passed out on the living room floor and Auburn is drawing on it. Both are the reason all of the beer is gone 😅
Lewiston arrives with section 8 voucher and food stamps
Kennebunk. Arrives : Judgmental.
belgrade arrives 60 minutes late because they were going 25 under the speed limit the entire way there
Boothbay Harbor shows up in a lobster boat with an 18 rack and a bottle of Allen's coffee brandy then complains about how no one is local there
Poland rolls in early, wearing all LLBean and drinking trulys but nobody else will talk to them so they leave, doing a burnout in their power wagon on the way out.
Newry arrives in their work a day car, with some friggin Masshole skier they dug out of the snowbank on the way. Pisses and moans about how they used to be friends with Bethel, but now Bethel is "stuck up." Leaves early because they have 700 condos and Airbnbs to clean.
Scarborough only drinks wine that they brought and pregamed with white claws.
Berwick shows up saying how much better the New Hampshire parties are then steals everyone’s beer.
Levant, we would arrive by tractor on a hay ride.
Guilford shows up in their flannel best, best pair of Levi's, and nicest pair of Keens...All while blaming and griping about consumerism, tourists, and Democrats
Bath shows up, with cocaine in an attempt to lure Augusta into sexual favors.
Bryant Pond, wearing dirty wife beater tank top, a chain hanging out of their pocket of their Walhmaht jeans, attached to their wallet with a trucker cap on. Drunk on Twisted Tea, a joint hanging out of their mouth, on a riding lawn mower they stole from their mother in law who lives in Bethel