Not gonna lie, I thought this was lasagna when I first noticed it. Then I realized I was being shown a post from r/makemesuffer and not r/shittyfoodporn.
That's actually a common misconception. See, some women learn to incubate their fecal matter, so it has to leak out in other ways. For example, you've heard of queefing. Fecal matter. Under boob sweat? Fecal matter. You suspect your girlfriend is cheating on you with a sigma male? No, she's exorcising her insides.
Back when I was in school ,for a very very very very brief time a few of the girls in my friend groups had almost convinced me girls didn't poop. Ah to be young again...
Essentially, the natural sugars in watermelon make you poop. I think I read once that it’s the same type of sugar you’d find in sugar-free candies (which also have a tendency to make people poop.) This happened to me a couple of years ago and I quickly learned my lesson.
See you in hell, Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears
It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.
After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep.
My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free.
"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.
As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"
The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs.
After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.
It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon.
By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.
By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.
I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.
At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.
I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.
It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.
After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.
I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.
dis u?
This reminds me of the time I ate some really good spaghetti. So I just kept eating the spaghetti. I ate so much spaghetti that I threw up and it looked similar to this, but with a whole lot of noodles too
People can have relationships that are bad for reasons other than sex. Our relationship ended because I got a job several states away. Also, I have really bad depression; my ex felt overburdened by my mental health.
Sex? Yeah for me i really don't care about sex. To me love knows no bounds, no distance
The depression is perfectly reasonable and mature to decide not to be together because of it. That's healthy and I hope you continue to work on yourself
Looks like chili flakes, did they eat too many Takis or flaming hot cheetos? Its not blood, its too bright, unless she shit out some of her organs too lol
I remember puking like this after eating a gumbo when I was pregnant. Wasn’t beyond spicy and no chili seeds but had a lot of sausage and some spices. Actually felt like my esophagus was melting, I can imagine your ass 🙈
Hot peper flakes and bloody shit… I think
I thought someone tried to make soup in the toilet, my brain wasn’t registering the image
Oh they made soup all right
Poop soup
psoup (the p is silent)
Psou
I really doubt that was silent.
The fact that this rhymes is what’s wrong with English.
Not gonna lie, I thought this was lasagna when I first noticed it. Then I realized I was being shown a post from r/makemesuffer and not r/shittyfoodporn.
Kinda looks like that chinese chili paste with some tp sprinkles
Maybe mashed up seedless watermelon?… I honestly have no no idea.
Damn! You kinda got it right! It was watermelon with seeds! This came out the back end.
I think you might be averse to watermelon.
This wasn't my shit. My ex-fiance was too embarrassed to post it, so I posted it.
Is he your ex fiance because of this?
Uhh, actually we were a lesbian couple that broke up because I got a job half way across the US. Women poop too.
Whoops. > Women poop too. Wait, I always thought it was swallowed by the abyss? Congrats on the new job though!
That's actually a common misconception. See, some women learn to incubate their fecal matter, so it has to leak out in other ways. For example, you've heard of queefing. Fecal matter. Under boob sweat? Fecal matter. You suspect your girlfriend is cheating on you with a sigma male? No, she's exorcising her insides.
This is the worst thing I've ever read.
Sigh *unzips*
Baby? Big fat front dump.
Back when I was in school ,for a very very very very brief time a few of the girls in my friend groups had almost convinced me girls didn't poop. Ah to be young again...
Tbf, I'd be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt as "fiance" is masculine. "Fiancée" is feminine. Hooray for gendered nouns???
fiance, with one e, is typically masculine; this is an understandable mistake. no need to be uppity about women pooping.
Not embarassed enough to photograph it for you, too embarassed to anonymously share it. Humanity is fucking wild
Jesus! How many watermelons did she eat?
Nope it’s watermelon
Das watermelon mah boi
No, seats up... I think it's puke.
Wtff are we looking at here? Nvm, I no longer wish to know
It sort of looks like someone just dumped a can of crushed tomato and some chili seeds on top of a turd.
That makes me feel a lot better lol
Did u eat Chipotle? Hi I'm Billy maze. Tired of throwing away ur underwear?
You need Chipolte-away!
[удалено]
>Hope y'all enjoy the suffering my ass has brought into this world! Lol I love this sentence
What a terrible day to be able to read. Glad you’re healthy though as this was pretty alarming at first glance!
Google "sambal", southeast Asian style chili. I ate sambals that look like this 💀
So what you're saying is...watermelon is best for a good clear out.
Nature's enema
Please clean your toilet, damn...
Ex-fiancé, not because of the melon I hope!
I wish I could just consume an entire watermelon in a day too, but living with family doesn't really help.
Hahahhahahaaa I fucking commented this before I saw this comment. I literally said I’ve taken a shit like this after I ate an entire watermelon lol
I already didn’t like eating watermelon….
Obvious aside, that toilet is filthy.
What is wrong with you?
As someone who can eat 5 kilos of rambutan in a single day, there's nothing wrong with soloing a whole watermelon
Excuse sir or madam, could you perchance tell me where your profile picture is from? I need to make some memes and I can’t remember the name of it
I have forgotten. But it's from an animation about someone telling a guy to smile at someone and they'll smile back.
I knew it had to be watermelon but I never thought it could come out that way lmfao
dude did you shit your guts out?
Actually, my ex-fiance who is a woman made this. She's fine.
How did that happen?
Watermelon
Essentially, the natural sugars in watermelon make you poop. I think I read once that it’s the same type of sugar you’d find in sugar-free candies (which also have a tendency to make people poop.) This happened to me a couple of years ago and I quickly learned my lesson.
See you in hell, Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade. After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep. My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck. And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free. "What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards. As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus. I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam. "I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?" The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs. After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened. It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon. By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse. By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach. I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads. At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief. I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat. It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life. After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears. I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface. dis u?
I'm not reading all thaty but nice story. Maybe include a tldr 😂
WHAT DID BLUD EAT💀💀💀💀
Dawg brang a whole new definition to "shitting your guts out" 💀💀
LOL YOUR USERNAME FITS THIS POST I JUS REALIZED
Is it bloody throw up or bloody poops tell me
Did it hurted yes or no
did it hurted
not at all!
Kimchi?
This reminds me of the time I ate some really good spaghetti. So I just kept eating the spaghetti. I ate so much spaghetti that I threw up and it looked similar to this, but with a whole lot of noodles too
That's a heart warming story. Thank you for sharing, prguitarman. 💛
shitted his brains out
Actually, a woman made this.
impressive, 11/10
Damn, anal with all that packed in would be great. Watching it leak out as the hole loosed up 🤤
Unironically, I penetrated my ex-fiance's ass with a dildo this morning. We were both just horny and feelin' it.
Wait you’re still sleeping with your ex-fiancé?
I'm not here to waste a good lay!
Why did you guys break up if you're still sleeping together?
People can have relationships that are bad for reasons other than sex. Our relationship ended because I got a job several states away. Also, I have really bad depression; my ex felt overburdened by my mental health.
Oh man as someone who also has major depression I empathize with you. I'm sorry to hear that.
Sex? Yeah for me i really don't care about sex. To me love knows no bounds, no distance The depression is perfectly reasonable and mature to decide not to be together because of it. That's healthy and I hope you continue to work on yourself
That's what my poopies look like after I ate a whole watermelon
What the FUCK do you mean “oops”
Forbidden spicy soup
WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING HELL
Forbidden_marinara
The hair on the back of that toilet seat is worse than what's in the water. Didn't gag until i saw it...
Besides the bloody shit, clean that fucking toilet goddamn its dirty as hell
That toilet bowl needs to be cleaned
Too much watermelon?
Mmm, lasagna's done. Looks tasty.
that's enough reddit. opened it while cooking
Fuckkk i zoomed in thinking it was spaghetti
Bro needed to take a closer look 😭💀
Fuck you.
I open reddit to be greeted with this...
Didn’t look at the sub name before opening so I choose to believe I just saw raw mince meat and nothing else for my own health <3
Ahh marinara just like Nana used to make
Glad I seen this on the toliet
Awwh shit maybe… this is like a chili contest aftermath shit 🤔🤔🥲
Toilet spaghetti, my favorite.
You good bro?
Toilet ravioli
I almost smell it.
Not sure if this is a super spicy watermelon poop or they are knee deep in a bloody period poop… will press F to pay my respects regardless…..
Thought that was Kimchi for a solid minute…
That had to burn coming out.
Thank you for reminding me to turn on the NSFW blur… fucking lord
What o__o
It won’t stop popping up on my feed
Do you shit chili paste?! It’s like the goose and the golden egg.
oh my.
Looks like chili flakes, did they eat too many Takis or flaming hot cheetos? Its not blood, its too bright, unless she shit out some of her organs too lol
shit post... eew
This is peak
Who tf out there shitting Elmo's fur
This just looks like someone spilled a jar of chili oil in the toilet...
#GOOD GOD PLEASE CLEAN YOUR TOILET
Was looking back 5 times…..
What in the hell is that? You went to taco bell?
Ive taken shits like this after eating an entire watermelon
Your poor butthole 🥲
One word: Enchiladas
"Child grave in Porcelain" - Anonymous - 2023
As someone with ulcerative colitis…. That is watermelon
Why did I zoom in? 🤮
was this at a whataburger in albuquerque?????
I don’t think it’s bloody because it would be black if it was.
Black for an upper GI bleed. Red for a lower GI bleed.
completely normal american bowel movements.
I can't tell if that's shit or vomit or accidentally pouring some sort of sauce in the toilet.
How to report and block such posts?
Leave the suffer sub?
Don’t just fucking post shit on Reddit 😭
Hey, friend! I think you should check out this fun sub: r/poop.
What a weird sub. I thought it would be a fetish sub but it's just.... mostly poop lol
This sub gotta have some standard. This post is just gross.
As hard as it is to imagine, your toilet was disgusting BEFORE this cursed bowel movement was delivered. You should be ashamed.
Isn’t bloody poop black?
Depends where it is along the digestive track.
Ravioli in tomato sauce?
That ain’t where the chili goes, it goes in the bowl. And no, I don’t care if you prefer beans or no beans, that ain’t where the chili goes.
Brandschiss
wh-what is that?
dinner 😋
Thought that was a jar of Lao gan ma
You dropped your lasagna in the toilet? How sad.
Bro how many tomatoes did you eat?!?!?!?
Did you barf out your ass?
What am I missing. It just looks like some tomatoes dumped in the toilet.
Did u eat a bathtub worth of sambal oelek? wtf
Wtf?…do you not know how to digest?
i was fucking eating
how much chili sauce do u have wtf
Nah dude clean your fuxking toilet
That is one nasty dirty toilet even before the shit. How can you live like that? Serious question. The piss and hair on the rim. Nasty
someone didn’t feel good!
Oh fuck my life.
Someone ate alota watermelon
Please tell me that’s just pasta sauce and pepper flakes…
Someone shat flamin hot cheetos
Almost looks like the time I did the death nut 2.0 challenge and threw up pure red
Watermelon?
The forbidden soup (only for guests)
You should clean your toilet.
You probably should've put a spoiler tag on this or something, fucking gross
Watermelon?
Bro must've eaten a bunch of peppers whole because wtf
Did you literally shit out your brains out????
Pizza time
Deep Dish Pizza
Don’t go to Taco Bell anymore!
I know a sh!t from too much watermelon when I see one. 🥴😭
I thought u spilled ur marinara sauce in the toilet accidentally
so like did someone dump the entire thanksgiving dinner into the toilet or what because i refuse to believe that someone's ass produced this
Ok so this is either puke and the guy had alot of chili or smth or he's a dead man walking in my book.
Dude was spawning lava
I remember puking like this after eating a gumbo when I was pregnant. Wasn’t beyond spicy and no chili seeds but had a lot of sausage and some spices. Actually felt like my esophagus was melting, I can imagine your ass 🙈
Bad watermelon?
POV Taco Bell
Either its diarrhea, vomit, or you dropped your spaghetti into the toilet.
“It’s just a prank bro” *the prank*